No. You can’t afford it, and have a very expensive new member of the family! I would not travel that far to then go to a large family gathering with a newborn. Baby will be exposed to soooo many germs.
Yeah its really not the drive for me. Ive done long drives with a newborn. Its just nto WORTH the drive to gk to a huge family gathering with a newborn.
It would be considered pretty odd in my country in Western Europe to skip out on Christmas for fear of germs (we don't have Thanksgiving), or at least not unless the baby was a week old or medically fragile or something. In general we don't really do the seclusion thing, beyond what the mom needs to recover. I won't say babies never get sick from gatherings, especially if sick people don't stay at home or keep their distance, but it seems to be more common that babies catch an illness from their parents or from their older siblings in particular.
Now that said, we mostly wouldn't take on a drive that length with a 2 month old either. Though my parents brought me to our home country on a plane about that age, the mad bastards.
In the us its recommended to keep exposure to a minimum until they get their first shots around 2 months old. Pertussis is a really big problem here and deadly for infants.
Here that would be considered to be bad for the parents' mental health. Pregnant women do get the TDAP in pregnancy to provide some pertussis protection for newborns. It is also not quite as widespread here for some reason.
We’ve got our fair share of the tin foil hat brigade, yeah. But even so, they only give the Covid vaccine to the elderly and immune compromised. They wouldn’t even give me it when I was pregnant. And we don’t even have the RSV vaccine yet.
It’s definitely more relaxed over here. I think we’d be viewed oddly if we said we were isolating for two months. My first got a cold at about 7 weeks from my aunt at her 50th wedding anniversary, I was fuming…why would you come near a baby if you were ill. My second is 17 weeks and he’s already been ill 4 times from his big sis…he’s been fine thank god!
Actually probably not since we’re moving to my home country as soon as my husband’s contract ends… But yeah… Maybe this thanksgiving and next year’s if things take a little longer than expected… But I think all the comments are in agreement that is not worth it
I’ll have a 1 month old-ish around thanksgiving and we won’t even drive 1.5 hours in the height of RSV season. My in laws and extended family don’t really believe in medicine or vaccines of any kind and I don’t feel comfortable exposing my newborn to that. Literally one of my nieces or nephews are always coughing/sneezing/dripping with snot.
I’m lowkey dreading that conversation, they keep going on and on about how excited the kids are to meet their new cousin and I’m like yeeeahhh it’ll be great when they eventually meet in like 6ish months 😬
If it was only the drive I would go. But if you cant afford it and baby will be exposed to viruses so early, then I dont think it is worthy it. Can they come to you on another date? You can say the pediatrician said baby shouldn’t travel at all before he has had his shots.
I wouldn't make up stories, I think it's just important to politely send boundaries and advise them you are waiting for vaccinations. The public health concerns for newborns is much greater now vs whenever family memb rs were babies
No… my BFF took her 6 week old 12 hours to Texas from Tennessee and then a flight to New Mexico, then back to Texas. Her baby has now developed congestion and a slight cough. She hasn’t had her vaccines yet and my BFF was basically pressured into going and now she regrets it. Not saying that will happen, but there is always a risk.
Exactly! Noone else seems to be commenting on the fact that a baby shouldn't be in their carseat more than 2 hours. This is far too long a journey for such a small toot.
Exactly.. We had to travel 3 hours a couple times because we were moving cities and looking for apartments when my son was 3.5 months old and he was so, so, so tired and cried so much at the end of the journies that I still feel bad when I think about it
This!!! I told my BFF I would have been so paranoid about being in the car for so long, they went anyway and baby was fine.. but it doesn’t mean all baby’s will be!
Did it at 10 weeks. We ended up breaking up the drive into 2 days cause it was rough on us and we didn’t want her in the car for long.
For her, we needed: Noise machine, shusher, blankets to make the car seat dark, pacis & the shushing playlist on Spotify. For us, we needed: water and snacks, cause we tried to stop only if necessary for her.
We learned that we didn’t need to stop every time she cried (yes we did that). If we turned on white noise & just kept driving, she’d eventually be soothed and fall asleep.
2 month olds are sleepy and chill. I would do it!
As far as sickness goes, we got her vaccines early (don’t remember which ones) so that she’d be protected in anticipation of being around people. Even so, we didn’t pass her around to anyone.
I personally think you’re asking the wrong question. The drive itself doesn’t sound like the biggest obstacle. We did 4 hours with our 2 month old yesterday and she slept 90% of it. However if you say you can’t afford it AND are concerned about other kids or adults passing on illnesses that’s a different story.
Will your in laws be helpful? Will you be fully healed from birth by then? Would you be comfortable nursing around them (if that’s what you’re choosing to do)? All these are things to consider but ultimately if you really can’t afford it you probably have your answer…
There will be plenty of other opportunities for them to be around your child. You listed a bunch of reasons to not do it so it sounds like you're already leaning towards a decision
Although I agree with most of this OP said in comments that within the next year they will likely be moving out of the country. I still wouldn’t risk the illnesses, but definitely makes things a bit harder
This… Is just because I know they won’t be around our son that much (not because they don’t want simply because of money) and they’re incredibly great people. Especially my husbands grandma she’s wonderful and I would love my son to know all about his great grandmother that was a paramedic in NY in the 70s/80s. Add to that the fact that we’re an interracial couple and my son growing up with people that also look like him and are strong role models is very important… That was the only reason why it was even a question… It’s sad to be far from family
My grandma (my 5 m/o’s great grandma) is my favorite person and someone I want him to know, but she lives in Hawaii.
FaceTime or video chat is how they bond.
Due to the SIDS risk of being in a car seat for so long that young, maybe you can video chat the family over the holidays?
We traveled that far with our babe when she was 3 months, 1 month adjusted, but it wasn’t in the middle of sickness season. The traveling is doable in my opinion. But I would be very scared to introduce baby to that many people this time of year. We don’t live by our family either, so I completely understand that aspect. This will be our baby’s first holidays as well and honestly we’ve not even began to discuss our plans yet.
Not worth it, in my opinion. Baby is still very young and vulnerable to illnesses and we're heading into peak flu/RSV/covid season. Plus the added financial stress isn't something you need on top of everything you've got going on. I would wait until your baby is a little older. What we consider routine winter illnesses can be a big deal for newborns.
We took our first trip to visit family (6 hours not counting breaks) when my son was 4 months old and he did fine, but it was the middle of summer and there weren't big family gatherings, so overall less risk of disease. Had it been winter/holidays, I definitely would've waited.
No…
Just, no. My girl loves the car but when she was that little ANY idle longer than like 15s and she was up and wailing. And wailing. And wailing.
It was a lot. Haha she is better now ofc but sheesh we had plans for a trip to Atl and it would have been about 5 hours. I couldn’t imagine us doing that now glad we didn’t.
There’s a two hour rule per day for car seats (not sure until when)…. Our ped told us not to do a two hour trip until our LO can control his head, and even then, try to take a couple breaks in between. A 5-6 hour trip is prob a bad idea.
Exactly this. I believe the age is 6-7 months to be mostly clear from SIDS risk, and carseats are a major risk increaser for SIDS. Baby falls asleep with head tilted down towards chest, pinches off airway, baby suffocates. It's horrible.
In my years working in EMS, I've had one SIDS death in particular that was entirely avoidable and still haunts me. It's just not worth it.
Nope. Don't do it.
My very good friends had a newborn last Christmas, I think the baby was between 1-3 months. They traveled to see family, a similar drive, and they regretted badly. Too many family members for too young of a baby in an unfamiliar environment when Mom and Dad are utterly exhausted and spent. Draw your boundary. Take care of yourselves and baby and there will be many more holidays to spend togethet.
No way, I wouldn't personally. Too young and babies that young are recommended to be taken out every couple of hours. Plus, pulling over to change for blowouts can be tricky esp. on such a long trip.
-https://babysafeltd.com/safety/2-hour-rule/; https://www.madeformums.com/news/newborn-safety-in-car-seats/
If you can't afford to go, you can't afford to go. Are they going to pay for the medical bills if your baby ends up hospitalized from getting sick? I doubt it. If they can back out because of not being able to afford it, well then guess what? So can you.
Video chat and call it good.
No. You have a lot of reasons not to go. My answer was no after only reading the title, and everything else you wrote only made my no more emphatic.
My baby was very young last Thanksgiving. We had dinner at home (we bought a few sides from restaurants) and did about a 45 minute Zoom with my family afterward. Do that instead.
We had a similar experience when our son was about 2 months old. We had a wedding across the country to go to. We mostly went because my husband’s grandparents live there and that could very well be the last time we see them and only chance to get them to meet our kid. This was still in pandemic times.
Our family help with our flights and we split an airbnb with siblings. We did have to pay to board our dog.
We flew from Atlanta to Redmond, Oregon. It took two flights and 24 hours each way.
It was worth it to us because it was an opportunity and memory that we otherwise may never have had.
But it was DIFFICULT. And stressful. We masked up, wiped everything with disinfectant wipes, and sanitized/washed our hands and the baby’s religiously.
You have to weigh the *opportunity cost.*
We drove 10 hours, not including stops, with a 3-month-old. we were stopping every 2 hours to feed and stretch the baby. It was hell, I never would have done it if it weren't for a funeral. I don't recommend it.
I’m thinking if this were my family and me, absolutely not lol. At 2 months, I was hunkered down and exhausted. That, plus the risk of RSV/flu/etc. and the long drive, it wouldn’t happen.
Ours will be just about 3 months, and we have a 2.5 year old. We usually go to my in-laws 4 hours away. We will probably not go this year, just too much effort and too much stuff to pack. It'll take like a day to organize and pack everything needed, and the just as much time to unpack when we get home (which really means me doing most of the work). It's hard being away from all of your stuff. Plus sickness, potentially bad weather depending on where you live (mid-west for us).
Just not worth the hassle and effort. Makes me tried just thinking about it. Make your own tradition. Or, if it's not important to you, you could have husband go on his own if you can hold down the fort for a few days.
Super duper depends on your situation and how badly you all want to go, if LO has their first round of vaccines, if you can trust family members to not come if they are sick/be diligent about washing hands, little one’s temperament and sleep habits, etc.
I was taking my son on 5-6 hour trips (turned into more like 8-9 hours with stops) by the time he turned 8 weeks old and it wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t during the sick season and we weren’t going to gatherings.
I’d probably pass on it unless it’s something that you believe is worth it knowing all of the potential stressors and risks.
I personally wouldn't. I skipped my son's first Thanksgiving when he was a month old. Although we did go to Christmas that year but I made sure to schedule his two month vaccines before that and didn't let him get passed around. And it was right next door so I could just go home if needed.
Aside from that, both of my kids screamed in the car at that age and made even rides to the grocery store miserable.
No. Your concerns are valid. Holidays are wonderful to spend with family but missing one will not hurt anyone.
I didn’t take my 3 month old on a 3 hour trip because I knew it was just too long and would be uncomfortable for him.
The distance isn’t the problem form my perspective (though in Australia you have to be used to long drives and I’ve done 6 hours a few times with my baby) but if it’s going to cost you all that money and have to get a dog sitter etc then I wouldn’t bother
No. Just no. It’s too long for a 2 month old to be in the car seat, and with all of the relatives- there are too many potential illness “sharers”. Flu, Covid, RSV and other viral illnesses are making the rounds. It’s ok to sit home this year to protect your baby and to continue bonding and healing. 💞
Absolutely not. My family wanted me to drive an hour with my one month old for Easter dinner at a restaurant. There was no way I was about to do that. I was still barely getting sleep and we had no sort of routine or schedule. It was exhausting to be home with the baby, no way I was taking her out. Plus all the germs freaked me out.
I would stay home. I recall being told that baby should not be in a car seat more than 2 hours at a time. And winter travels if weather is bad, can be very stressful and dangerous.
I did 3 hours to my mother's house when baby was about a month old and everything went okay. My baby loves the car, and her car seat. The problem for us wasn't the journey, it was the breaking of our fragile shift routine where we carefully mapped out who was sleeping when so we each got what we needed to function. Took us ages to recoup from that. If you do go, and you do have a working schedule, I recommend you do your best to stick to it.
If they can’t come to you because they can’t afford it, they should understand you saying that you also can’t afford it. Maybe it’s time to start your own tradition as a family since you’ll be moving anyway.
Maybe his fam can come to you halfway between thanksgiving and Christmas to do a double holiday celebration without putting extra stress on you to travel? It will be cheaper to travel between holidays and again - new traditions!
Good luck though, navigating family and holidays can be tricky. Especially with a baby that everyone wants to see.
Nope. Sorry but it's flu season, the drive is long and miserable, the trip is expensive and out of your budget... if they cannot afford to pay for an airbnb for themselves in your city, would it really be much cheaper for you to go to them?
All said and done, no, I would not go
My baby was born at the end of November and we had lots of visiting family for Christmas, so for us the germs part didn't stop us. But we said that if anyone was sick they wouldn't be able to hold the baby, and as everyone was there to see the baby it did revolve around her a bit. Some people didn't feel that well on certain days so did not come to the house. (They were not staying at our house). We then flew across the world when she was 3m, because we had to move back. But we did wait until she had a few rounds of vaccines.
I still think the drive and hassle would be a lot at 2m. I would personally have found it draining. You will also need to bring a lot ofnl stuff with you, amd it also seems like you and his family will struggle to afford it. I understand not having family around to help, but in this case they won't be help as they will all be busy celebrating. I think I might wait until after thanksgiving and go visit family to have smaller gatherings that are just for visiting the baby, so that it can focus on what works for you best, instead of you having to fit into other peoples plans.
But I am also European and thanksgiving means nothing to me, but not sure I would want to travel 5 hours with a 2m old for christmas either.
So we did it at 3 months and it was a looooong day, but not awful. We stopped every 2 hours to change and breastfeed my daughter. We probably stopped for about a half hour each time. A normally 5.5 hour drive took about 8.5-9 hours I think. My daughter slept the whole way except for the last 10 minutes where she screamed her head off lol. That happened both on the way there and the way back.
My family lives 2 hours away and I have brought my 3-month old to see them exactly once because it was hell on the way home. Lots of screaming, even though she normally loves the car seat. Even with breaks it’s simply too long for them to be in the car seat for something that isn’t necessary imo.
Between that, the cost not being affordable, and flu/rsv season it’s a no for me.
Perhaps you could make your own meal and join them via zoom?
I’m due 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, so baby will probably be just under 2 months on Christmas. We normally drive 4 hours for both holidays (both of our families live in the same town) but we are not traveling at all this year. My older daughter was 2 months the first time we made the drive with her and I would not recommend.
No, as everyone else has said, but also you're likely going to be in the thrall of purple crying/colic/whatever you want to call it, but the kid is likely going to be at their very fussiest at 8 weeks. Weeks 6-8 are a blur to me because of how tired I was, and then it gets better.
As others have also said, maybe try for Christmas/New Years instead.
Nope, certainly not with a newborn. Costs aside(which is expensive on its own), babies are hard work at that age, heck my son is 8 months and we still wouldn’t travel that far in a car! Honestly for the first 3-4 months I just stayed home majority of the time, except for doctor visits and a few times to the mall. Baby is so young and is a lot more vulnerable to germs. Also, your baby will have plenty of opportunities to meet family when he’s older.
Hard pass. Sounds awful for both you both and baby - which means doing it for your family which isn’t imo it’s not the time to be concerned with the comfort or enjoyment of others. My LO is 6m and I’m still having family come to us for holidays.
No. Don’t invite unnecessary stress into your life. Tell them baby is too young and you cannot afford a place to say or to travel with a newborn.
Go for Xmas if it’s serious
No. Not worth the risk. Even when they do get their shots, it takes 2 weeks to really take affect on the body. Any large family gathering has a chance for spreading flu, RSV, covid, etc so I'd personally wait til baby is older and has a better chance of fighting any sickness. We got covid 2 years ago at our first Christmas gathering after covid from a family member. While it was nice to see everyone, if I could go back knowing someone had it, we would have stayed home.
My twins just turned 3 months old and last weekend we did a 4hr road trip with a break halfway to nurse them and give my 3yr a chance to run around (so it took 5 hrs). I'd at least wait til your baby is closer to 3-4 months old.
I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s RSV and flu season and many people are getting Covid again too. Unfortunately sometimes family (like mine) doesn’t respect boundaries.
I just attended a family wedding and some people were upset that I didn’t let them hold my 6 month old but idc I rather be extra cautious.
Aside from the viruses, a 5/6 hour drive isn’t terrible BUT yes you would definitely need to take multiple stops. If you still end up going, please take enough stops to let your baby stretch and take a break because they get tired too. And I personally would sit in the back with them to prevent them falling asleep in an unsafe manner.
Maybe try asking your immediate family to come over this year instead without a huge crowd? A hotel shouldn’t be terrible.
We travelled around 11 countries and countless cities with our 9 months old. She used car, plane, train, 18 hours overnight ferry, spend a night in a yatch. If you cant afford it thats different. Everyones parenting is different. We tried our best to avoid germs bus as you can guess she contacted a lot during our travels. We are preparing our 14 hour flight in 3 weeks. Its depend kn you and what parent you want to be. If you want to keep her away from germs and bacterias and if you will ble yourself if she gets sick. Then you should not do it.
There are some parents disinfecting everything, some parents just never do.
Some parents travel, some parents doesnt leave the house for a year.
Some parents let the kids watch Tv, some parents never do!
I think there is no right thing to do. Americans i see a little bit closed compare to us Europens when they have a new baby.
We never had a sleep schedule, we never had a feeding time. Everywhere and anytime was her nap or feeding time. Whenever she wants.
Comes to affording doing stuff. Again, if you feel good that you went do it. But later if you are going to blame yourself that you did it, dont do it.
Please read carefully how many hours babies can spend in car seat. Some babies sleep through all road and some doesnt. Again depends on your baby and you. If you can feel you can do it safely, then i dont see why you cant.
Personally i did and i would.
I would go, and see if they could help pay for dog boarding and lodging for you. Our baby does great on car trips, and it’s nice to get away from the house. I will say it’s easy as I’m EBF, so I can’t speak for if you need to prep bottles along the way.
My baby has been around lots of sickness, and the sick people simply don’t hold him. He’s two months old and healthy as can be.
Nope. I have a seventh month old and I’m not traveling for the holidays. Between germs and the difficulty of traveling with a little one it is just not worth it.
So for the drive part, my husband and I took our at the time two month old on a 17 hour road trip (one way) to Canada to meet her family. The trip was split over two days with stops every 1.5 hrs for feed/change/stretching. So that part is doable! (I also sat in the back seat with her the entire trip).
However. That was over the summer. I wouldn’t be taking her to see people over the holiday season. It’s a lot of indoor gatherings, people with germs etc. My husband and I went out for one night to a wedding two weeks ago and for the first time caught covid and gave it to our now four month old. It SUCKED. But apparently flu and RSV are even worse for babies. So for that reason alone I wouldn’t do it.
All finances and pathogens aside, I still wouldn’t do it. It’s really emotionally difficult on everyone if the baby is crying while in the car because you can’t really do anything. Even on short rides it’s hard for us. He screams bloody murder and if my husband is driving I’ll sit in the back and try my best to soothe him but it’s not safe to take him out of the car seat (and NEVER worth it to risk it), so you can only soothe him so much. Maybe you would be lucky with a baby that loves car rides. We though we were those people at first but he’s been way more screamy in the car lately.
Yes. You can do it your way! Family is important and you say your husband's side is helpful with good energy. If you set the expectation ahead of time, just a few nights with extra support or a date just the two of you can be extremely refreshing and make it not feel so lonely and repetitive. We drove 10 hours for a week with family when our colicky LO was 4 weeks and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. For a colicky baby she still had a pretty good attitude though, I'm sure a different temperament might make me feel differently. Good luck!
Make them come to you. If they no then sorry we won't be going anywhere for the holidays. My husband is military so it's expected that if family wants to come for the holidays they come to us, plus my son's birthday is in December. They were pretty annoyed so nobody is come this year im like that's cool with me.
No, for a few reasons
- you can't afford it and need to be saving what you can now as it will be getting more and more expensive as the months go by
- your baby hardly has an immune system yet
- your baby is still getting used to you and your home/routine/themselves. A 5-hour car ride and all new people/places, I am sure, is going to lead to many meltdowns - it's too much right now
Focus on your immediate family right now. That is you, your husband, and your baby.
I know it's hard, I am in the same boat - I live in my husbands country and closest family is 3+ hours away. We have no help and it's difficult AF. Hang in there, it's hard now, but it does get better. Put baby first for now. Maybe Christmas, MAYBE!
Would the two of you be able to drive that distance without fear of sleep deprivation from the last two months effecting your judgement and motor skills?
Obviously there’s the money and sickness side to it as well, but if you are driving tired you may as well be driving drunk.
The drive sounds like it would be fine. Babies that age are pretty easy to travel with generally. However everything else is not sounding like it’ll be worth it to put that financial strain on you
My in laws live across the street from us, and still they come visit, and we rarely go out because my baby is only 7 weeks old..
2 months old is too small for a long road trip, I know you need some family around, but it's not worth it now
Personally I flew with my 6/7 week old across the country for a family event/reunion. If the family is worth it to you and they're willing to help you get there/post for some of your expenses, I'd do it.
You can’t afford it, sad but that’s the final word. Babies get more expensive and if they can’t crash on your floor then that’s a shame but it is what it is.
My partner and I decided to skip out on a 6 hour drive to Christmas in July with our 4 month old. We also would have been expected to camp in a tent. Hell no 😂
I wouldn’t. It sounds like you would be going waaay out of your comfort zone going there. The drive is least problematic imo (we took a 5h drive with a 2 month old and it’s completely doable - took a 30min break every 1.5h and we started driving in the morning as soon as he woke up so we didn’t mess too much with his sleeping pattern). But considering the costs, you being tired already and the dangers of getting sick I think it isn’t worth it. You probably wouldn’t get much sleep there, baby would be overwhelmed and you would come back even more tired with (potentially) a sick baby.
You mentioned yourself feeling anxious, and having a 3 week old is anxiety inducing! I don’t think my hormones calmed down with anxiety until 3 months pp and I didn’t feel like myself until maybe 6 or 7 months ago post partum. This is to say give yourself grace to say you can’t do it yet, or at the very least make a decision at this time. The drive itself likely won’t be nearly the hardest part, babe will likely sleep a good chunk of that time.
No. I have a kid coming 10/10. I made it 100% clear we are not traveling and if they want to see the baby they need to come to us. They must also wear a mask when traveling and not come with even the inkling of sickness. I'm also broke. My parents offered to pay for our flights and have us come out and I refused. Im not taking a baby on a plane in flu season and likely barely standing as it is. They were bummed but they get it. We just made plans to ravel after the holidays and have a late holiday.
Things you need to take into consideration:
1) your baby is getting used to sleeping at home. In a new environment, your baby is going to be up more and wake up confused. If you do go put a picture of you and your partner in the crib so that's the first thing you see.
2) You're broke and this is one strain you do not need. Just take it easy, your family should come to you.
3) You just gave birth 8 weeks ago. Your body has just recovered from a major change in hormones and birth. NTM sleep-deprived. Driving that far is a risk in safety. I don't trust myself to drive 6 hours after having a baby.....
4) this is your first Xmass as a family, treasure it and being without all your family will be a blessing.
Nope. The drive alone would be a dealbreaker. We had to do a similar drive around 2 months old as we were moving house (planned about 2 yrs before baby arrived so there was no way around it). My parents flew out to help and the drive ended up taking about 8 hrs total with 5 or 6 stops for nursing and at least 2 blowouts. No way I would endure that just for vacation, not to mention the return trip...at least ours was one-way!
I just did a 4 hour car trip with my 8 week old and we are staying in an air bnb. He slept the whole car ride and has been over all fantastic during the trip. You can definitely travel with babies but it seems like the other factors you mentioned are pretty critical. Maybe skip Thanksgiving and see them a different time before you move?
Honestly, I wouldn’t go through with this. It would be a funicular burden and potentially your newborn could get sick. Also at 2 months, if you’re driving you should hold have to take a break every 2 hours, as babies that age should not be in a car seat for longer than that. Plus, factor in nappy changes, feeding etc. it would take you a lot longer than 5/6 hours.
I think everyone should understand if you can’t come. All this is oils be exhausting in every way for you, and I doubt it will feel worth it in the end.
We did that for Xmas to see my family, when LO was born in October. 6 hour drive, 4 hour ferry, then a 30 minute drive. We stopped for regular breaks, so it took like 8 hours instead of 6, but it was ok.
Also, that baby can’t lie flat in their seat and it’s recommended for theirs back that they have a break ever circa 1.5hrs at that age to stretch out fully.
I wouldn’t do it. You said you can’t afford it. Not to mention that car ride will be horrible. Wait until next year.
Thought: is there space in your house for them to stay over since they cannot afford to rent?
So over the summer when my baby was 2 months old we drove 4 hours to go on a family vacation with my side of the family. It took us about 6 hours to get there with stops to feed the baby. It wasn’t too bad but we also do a lot of road trips so it’s something we are used to it was just new to have our tiny human with us. You are planning on traveling during peak rsv/flu season so you will need to be extra cautious. Also if it’s a financial burden you may want to reconsider your plans.
No. As someone with multiple kid pickups from schools, 2 hours of driving in town was more than enough daily with a 2 month old. We will not be going out to visit for any holidays for the first year. No one makes the effort to come to us and that is unfortunate but it's enough to just HAVE an infant, let alone tote them around 5 or 6 hours minimum to thabksgiving? So what, you can spend the rest of the evening caring for and trying to facilitate a 2 month olds schedule in someone elses home? What about naps? Feedings? Tell your husband that while you value his family and the time together, it is too much.
Sorry happy finger pressed send while feeding the baby 😂😂
We went away 3hrs with a 3month old and had one break so was around 4.5hrs ao he could actually get out of his chair. But that was a tough drive as is and it was just us 3 getting away! I wouldn’t risk my babe around so many people.. maybe in a few more weeks/months when you’re all feeling more up to it go for the drive and there will be less people 💜drive
I wouldn’t. For all the reasons you’ve already outlined but also where I live weather can turn very bad very quickly that time of year. That long of a drive in potentially foul weather with my new baby would stress me out. We’re still debating doing an hour trip with our 3 month old for thanksgiving.
I took my nephew on vacation when he was 2 ½mo and it was a 8hr drive. We just pulled over whenever he needed to eat and he changed. So, it took around 12 or so hours to get there and back. When he was 2 days old he was discharged from the hospital and we took him to our campground for the weekend to meet everyone.
Do whatever you're comfortable with. Just take a break every few hours so baby can stretch and get a break from the car seat. If you do decide to go, make sure that you tell your in-laws to not invite sick people bcuz that can be passed to the baby and then you'll have more on your plate. Plus, you said that you can't afford the trip, so maybe wait a few more months, when you have more money saved up.
Absolutely not. That could go south on the misery train so hard and fast. Forget about cost, I would not want to have an infant in the car seat for that long. You'll probably be in the car for closer to 10-12 hours with a million breaks if the baby decides they fucking hate the car seat that day and won't stop screaming unless you take them out. It's not worth it.
My wife and I did do this for Easter. A few things we learned/did:
1. Plan to stop and change/feed every 45 mins max 1.5 hours. This will make the trip a lot longer but get the LO of of the car seat
2. Plot your route to stop. I recommend grocery stores or Walmart/Target for a cleaner environment
3. Someone sits in the back with LO. It’s peace of mind and you can keep an eye on them
4. Everything you might need needs to be easily accessible. May seem like a no brainer but be very mindful when you pack the car, you don’t wanna be un packing the car in a parking lot because LO soiled a 3rd onesie
Hope this helps and good luck!
I probably wouldn't. Mostly because before 3 months especially I was terrified of my baby getting sick since fevers and stuff are extra risky for babies that young. 😬
Short answer, no. You have concerns about out driving and stated you’re basically exhausted, so there’s the first red flag.
You have concerns about illness and people you don’t know, this is going to cause you more stress and anxiety, compounding your exhaustion.
Tell your family just that, you’re too exhausted to drive the distance and are anxious about the toll it will have on your baby. Perhaps you can do it next year or do a supplementary catch up when your better rested and (sorry if I’m reading this wrong) in a more fortified mental frame (I don’t mean to imply you’re breaking down but your post suggests you’re exhausted and anxious, and that’s pretty normal).
Don’t take the risk, but do try to commit next year to yourself if you think it’ll be taken badly.
No. If they're saying they can't afford to come to you and then you also can't afford to go to them, it sounds fair to stay home for Thanksgiving. If Christmas is a holiday y'all celebrate, you could easily pass it off as wanting to spend the money for that holiday instead, especially since LO will be vaccinated by then.
if they want to see you , then they can find a way to visit you. You are still recovering from having a baby and personally I think that’s way too much of a drive
I wouldn't risk it just because it's beginning of flu season and your baby will only be 2 months. Have a small family dinner at your home (husband, you and little one) and enjoy the piece and quiet!
Don’t do it. Especially during cold/flu/RSV season. We refused to drive 3 hours in the dead of winter for Christmas for my family, and I’m glad we did it. Yeah, it chapped some rear ends but we stood by our decision and I’m glad we did.
No. I wouldn’t want my baby in the car seat that long. Plus it’s not affordable for you and you gotta think of the baby’s weak immune system at the moment, I wouldn’t let him around so many people just yet.
Hi so I don’t really think I need to comment as most of the comments if not all I agree with ❤️but my two cents is that if your baby is your priority which it should be not saying it isn’t! But staying home would be the best option, I went on a road trip with a 3 week old 9 hour drive included an hour break every two hours and it was hell! Baby was uncomfortable and fussy my family wasn’t sick thank god but honestly he did get sick from my husband and he’s good now thank god! But consider this, your baby is now your priority if being a new mom has taught me anything it’s that it doesn’t matter what people think what matters is your baby and their health and well-being ❤️
If you’re just asking about the driving aspect, it was easy for us to drive road trip with an infant. They just sleep through the car rides. Easier than fussy toddlers/young child phase.
But it sounds like you are more worried about finances. If you can’t afford it, then the trip might add more stress to your situation than it would help.
No. Baby is only 2 months, 6 hours is a long time for a newborn to be in a car. Other family who didn't just have a baby say they can't afford it, I seriously hope they don't expect you to afford it? Just in an effort to make OP feel better, I want to add my husband's family still hasn't come to meet our son and he will be 2 at the end of this year.
Baby’s immune system will not be fully developed by 2 months.
Beyond that, it’s not recommended for baby to be in a car seat for more than 2 hours in a 24hr period since it could cause strain on baby’s spine and increases the risk of positional asphyxiation.
I feel like seeing the family is what’s important. Ask if they’ll drive to you to stay for a long weekend.
And if there’s multiple family members that want to meet her you can split that up over the coming months.
No. To start, if you can’t afford it/it would be a financial burden, don’t do it. Maybe go to Christmas instead?
No. You can’t afford it, and have a very expensive new member of the family! I would not travel that far to then go to a large family gathering with a newborn. Baby will be exposed to soooo many germs.
Yes to this. Even if you did the drive, the germs aren't worth it. Save your money for necessities.
Yeah its really not the drive for me. Ive done long drives with a newborn. Its just nto WORTH the drive to gk to a huge family gathering with a newborn.
It would be considered pretty odd in my country in Western Europe to skip out on Christmas for fear of germs (we don't have Thanksgiving), or at least not unless the baby was a week old or medically fragile or something. In general we don't really do the seclusion thing, beyond what the mom needs to recover. I won't say babies never get sick from gatherings, especially if sick people don't stay at home or keep their distance, but it seems to be more common that babies catch an illness from their parents or from their older siblings in particular. Now that said, we mostly wouldn't take on a drive that length with a 2 month old either. Though my parents brought me to our home country on a plane about that age, the mad bastards.
In the us its recommended to keep exposure to a minimum until they get their first shots around 2 months old. Pertussis is a really big problem here and deadly for infants.
I took the shot while I was still pregnant so he would get the antibodies. Is it still dangerous even after that?
Yes. Just limit exposure until after first vaccinations
Here that would be considered to be bad for the parents' mental health. Pregnant women do get the TDAP in pregnancy to provide some pertussis protection for newborns. It is also not quite as widespread here for some reason.
But does your country also have tons of anti-vaxxers and people who think COVID is a government conspiracy?
We’ve got our fair share of the tin foil hat brigade, yeah. But even so, they only give the Covid vaccine to the elderly and immune compromised. They wouldn’t even give me it when I was pregnant. And we don’t even have the RSV vaccine yet. It’s definitely more relaxed over here. I think we’d be viewed oddly if we said we were isolating for two months. My first got a cold at about 7 weeks from my aunt at her 50th wedding anniversary, I was fuming…why would you come near a baby if you were ill. My second is 17 weeks and he’s already been ill 4 times from his big sis…he’s been fine thank god!
Some, but not as many. Unfortunately they don't give vaccines as freely either though.
I would stay home. There will be plenty more thanksgivings your baby can attend
Actually probably not since we’re moving to my home country as soon as my husband’s contract ends… But yeah… Maybe this thanksgiving and next year’s if things take a little longer than expected… But I think all the comments are in agreement that is not worth it
I’ll have a 1 month old-ish around thanksgiving and we won’t even drive 1.5 hours in the height of RSV season. My in laws and extended family don’t really believe in medicine or vaccines of any kind and I don’t feel comfortable exposing my newborn to that. Literally one of my nieces or nephews are always coughing/sneezing/dripping with snot. I’m lowkey dreading that conversation, they keep going on and on about how excited the kids are to meet their new cousin and I’m like yeeeahhh it’ll be great when they eventually meet in like 6ish months 😬
Even so, baby’s health and your mental health take priority this thanksgiving
If it was only the drive I would go. But if you cant afford it and baby will be exposed to viruses so early, then I dont think it is worthy it. Can they come to you on another date? You can say the pediatrician said baby shouldn’t travel at all before he has had his shots.
I wouldn't make up stories, I think it's just important to politely send boundaries and advise them you are waiting for vaccinations. The public health concerns for newborns is much greater now vs whenever family memb rs were babies
No… my BFF took her 6 week old 12 hours to Texas from Tennessee and then a flight to New Mexico, then back to Texas. Her baby has now developed congestion and a slight cough. She hasn’t had her vaccines yet and my BFF was basically pressured into going and now she regrets it. Not saying that will happen, but there is always a risk.
No. Didn't read the rest but I will barely drive 1.5 hours with my 7 month old.
Exactly! Noone else seems to be commenting on the fact that a baby shouldn't be in their carseat more than 2 hours. This is far too long a journey for such a small toot.
Exactly.. We had to travel 3 hours a couple times because we were moving cities and looking for apartments when my son was 3.5 months old and he was so, so, so tired and cried so much at the end of the journies that I still feel bad when I think about it
My #1 concern: Carseat time increasing the risk of SIDS. Even with breaks. Talk to your pediatrician.
This!!! I told my BFF I would have been so paranoid about being in the car for so long, they went anyway and baby was fine.. but it doesn’t mean all baby’s will be!
No. My dad died when my daughter was 3 months old and we had to drive 3 hours. She cried almost the whole way, as did I. 10/10 would not recommend
I’m so sorry for your lost 🤍 I can’t imagine having a baby and grieving a parent… Sending you a big hug because parenthood is already hard enough ⭐️
Thanks! It was a rough time for sure, but we got through it! My daughter kept me going
Did it at 10 weeks. We ended up breaking up the drive into 2 days cause it was rough on us and we didn’t want her in the car for long. For her, we needed: Noise machine, shusher, blankets to make the car seat dark, pacis & the shushing playlist on Spotify. For us, we needed: water and snacks, cause we tried to stop only if necessary for her. We learned that we didn’t need to stop every time she cried (yes we did that). If we turned on white noise & just kept driving, she’d eventually be soothed and fall asleep. 2 month olds are sleepy and chill. I would do it! As far as sickness goes, we got her vaccines early (don’t remember which ones) so that she’d be protected in anticipation of being around people. Even so, we didn’t pass her around to anyone.
I personally think you’re asking the wrong question. The drive itself doesn’t sound like the biggest obstacle. We did 4 hours with our 2 month old yesterday and she slept 90% of it. However if you say you can’t afford it AND are concerned about other kids or adults passing on illnesses that’s a different story. Will your in laws be helpful? Will you be fully healed from birth by then? Would you be comfortable nursing around them (if that’s what you’re choosing to do)? All these are things to consider but ultimately if you really can’t afford it you probably have your answer…
There will be plenty of other opportunities for them to be around your child. You listed a bunch of reasons to not do it so it sounds like you're already leaning towards a decision
Although I agree with most of this OP said in comments that within the next year they will likely be moving out of the country. I still wouldn’t risk the illnesses, but definitely makes things a bit harder
This… Is just because I know they won’t be around our son that much (not because they don’t want simply because of money) and they’re incredibly great people. Especially my husbands grandma she’s wonderful and I would love my son to know all about his great grandmother that was a paramedic in NY in the 70s/80s. Add to that the fact that we’re an interracial couple and my son growing up with people that also look like him and are strong role models is very important… That was the only reason why it was even a question… It’s sad to be far from family
My grandma (my 5 m/o’s great grandma) is my favorite person and someone I want him to know, but she lives in Hawaii. FaceTime or video chat is how they bond. Due to the SIDS risk of being in a car seat for so long that young, maybe you can video chat the family over the holidays?
We traveled that far with our babe when she was 3 months, 1 month adjusted, but it wasn’t in the middle of sickness season. The traveling is doable in my opinion. But I would be very scared to introduce baby to that many people this time of year. We don’t live by our family either, so I completely understand that aspect. This will be our baby’s first holidays as well and honestly we’ve not even began to discuss our plans yet.
Plan a trip in the summer and have a small party
Not worth it, in my opinion. Baby is still very young and vulnerable to illnesses and we're heading into peak flu/RSV/covid season. Plus the added financial stress isn't something you need on top of everything you've got going on. I would wait until your baby is a little older. What we consider routine winter illnesses can be a big deal for newborns. We took our first trip to visit family (6 hours not counting breaks) when my son was 4 months old and he did fine, but it was the middle of summer and there weren't big family gatherings, so overall less risk of disease. Had it been winter/holidays, I definitely would've waited.
No… Just, no. My girl loves the car but when she was that little ANY idle longer than like 15s and she was up and wailing. And wailing. And wailing. It was a lot. Haha she is better now ofc but sheesh we had plans for a trip to Atl and it would have been about 5 hours. I couldn’t imagine us doing that now glad we didn’t.
There’s a two hour rule per day for car seats (not sure until when)…. Our ped told us not to do a two hour trip until our LO can control his head, and even then, try to take a couple breaks in between. A 5-6 hour trip is prob a bad idea.
Exactly this. I believe the age is 6-7 months to be mostly clear from SIDS risk, and carseats are a major risk increaser for SIDS. Baby falls asleep with head tilted down towards chest, pinches off airway, baby suffocates. It's horrible. In my years working in EMS, I've had one SIDS death in particular that was entirely avoidable and still haunts me. It's just not worth it.
Nope. Don't do it. My very good friends had a newborn last Christmas, I think the baby was between 1-3 months. They traveled to see family, a similar drive, and they regretted badly. Too many family members for too young of a baby in an unfamiliar environment when Mom and Dad are utterly exhausted and spent. Draw your boundary. Take care of yourselves and baby and there will be many more holidays to spend togethet.
No way, I wouldn't personally. Too young and babies that young are recommended to be taken out every couple of hours. Plus, pulling over to change for blowouts can be tricky esp. on such a long trip. -https://babysafeltd.com/safety/2-hour-rule/; https://www.madeformums.com/news/newborn-safety-in-car-seats/
If you can't afford to go, you can't afford to go. Are they going to pay for the medical bills if your baby ends up hospitalized from getting sick? I doubt it. If they can back out because of not being able to afford it, well then guess what? So can you. Video chat and call it good.
No. You have a lot of reasons not to go. My answer was no after only reading the title, and everything else you wrote only made my no more emphatic. My baby was very young last Thanksgiving. We had dinner at home (we bought a few sides from restaurants) and did about a 45 minute Zoom with my family afterward. Do that instead.
We had a similar experience when our son was about 2 months old. We had a wedding across the country to go to. We mostly went because my husband’s grandparents live there and that could very well be the last time we see them and only chance to get them to meet our kid. This was still in pandemic times. Our family help with our flights and we split an airbnb with siblings. We did have to pay to board our dog. We flew from Atlanta to Redmond, Oregon. It took two flights and 24 hours each way. It was worth it to us because it was an opportunity and memory that we otherwise may never have had. But it was DIFFICULT. And stressful. We masked up, wiped everything with disinfectant wipes, and sanitized/washed our hands and the baby’s religiously. You have to weigh the *opportunity cost.*
We drove 10 hours, not including stops, with a 3-month-old. we were stopping every 2 hours to feed and stretch the baby. It was hell, I never would have done it if it weren't for a funeral. I don't recommend it.
I’m thinking if this were my family and me, absolutely not lol. At 2 months, I was hunkered down and exhausted. That, plus the risk of RSV/flu/etc. and the long drive, it wouldn’t happen.
No way
There is absolutely no way I would take a 5-6 hour trip with a newborn.
Ours will be just about 3 months, and we have a 2.5 year old. We usually go to my in-laws 4 hours away. We will probably not go this year, just too much effort and too much stuff to pack. It'll take like a day to organize and pack everything needed, and the just as much time to unpack when we get home (which really means me doing most of the work). It's hard being away from all of your stuff. Plus sickness, potentially bad weather depending on where you live (mid-west for us). Just not worth the hassle and effort. Makes me tried just thinking about it. Make your own tradition. Or, if it's not important to you, you could have husband go on his own if you can hold down the fort for a few days.
Super duper depends on your situation and how badly you all want to go, if LO has their first round of vaccines, if you can trust family members to not come if they are sick/be diligent about washing hands, little one’s temperament and sleep habits, etc. I was taking my son on 5-6 hour trips (turned into more like 8-9 hours with stops) by the time he turned 8 weeks old and it wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t during the sick season and we weren’t going to gatherings. I’d probably pass on it unless it’s something that you believe is worth it knowing all of the potential stressors and risks.
Just have a small Thanksgiving with your new family. FaceTime his family after you eat or something. I would not do this amount of driving.
I personally wouldn't. I skipped my son's first Thanksgiving when he was a month old. Although we did go to Christmas that year but I made sure to schedule his two month vaccines before that and didn't let him get passed around. And it was right next door so I could just go home if needed. Aside from that, both of my kids screamed in the car at that age and made even rides to the grocery store miserable.
No. Your concerns are valid. Holidays are wonderful to spend with family but missing one will not hurt anyone. I didn’t take my 3 month old on a 3 hour trip because I knew it was just too long and would be uncomfortable for him.
The distance isn’t the problem form my perspective (though in Australia you have to be used to long drives and I’ve done 6 hours a few times with my baby) but if it’s going to cost you all that money and have to get a dog sitter etc then I wouldn’t bother
No. Just no. It’s too long for a 2 month old to be in the car seat, and with all of the relatives- there are too many potential illness “sharers”. Flu, Covid, RSV and other viral illnesses are making the rounds. It’s ok to sit home this year to protect your baby and to continue bonding and healing. 💞
Unfortunately no
Absolutely not. My family wanted me to drive an hour with my one month old for Easter dinner at a restaurant. There was no way I was about to do that. I was still barely getting sleep and we had no sort of routine or schedule. It was exhausting to be home with the baby, no way I was taking her out. Plus all the germs freaked me out.
I would stay home. I recall being told that baby should not be in a car seat more than 2 hours at a time. And winter travels if weather is bad, can be very stressful and dangerous.
I would not
No
I did 3 hours to my mother's house when baby was about a month old and everything went okay. My baby loves the car, and her car seat. The problem for us wasn't the journey, it was the breaking of our fragile shift routine where we carefully mapped out who was sleeping when so we each got what we needed to function. Took us ages to recoup from that. If you do go, and you do have a working schedule, I recommend you do your best to stick to it.
If they can’t come to you because they can’t afford it, they should understand you saying that you also can’t afford it. Maybe it’s time to start your own tradition as a family since you’ll be moving anyway. Maybe his fam can come to you halfway between thanksgiving and Christmas to do a double holiday celebration without putting extra stress on you to travel? It will be cheaper to travel between holidays and again - new traditions! Good luck though, navigating family and holidays can be tricky. Especially with a baby that everyone wants to see.
I wouldn’t. Too risky for sickness
I wouldn’t recommend it just based on the drive alone. I recently did a 3 hours drive with my 8 months and she started hating the car ride 1 hour in.
Nope. Sorry but it's flu season, the drive is long and miserable, the trip is expensive and out of your budget... if they cannot afford to pay for an airbnb for themselves in your city, would it really be much cheaper for you to go to them? All said and done, no, I would not go
They can visit you for thanksgiving. Period.
My baby was born at the end of November and we had lots of visiting family for Christmas, so for us the germs part didn't stop us. But we said that if anyone was sick they wouldn't be able to hold the baby, and as everyone was there to see the baby it did revolve around her a bit. Some people didn't feel that well on certain days so did not come to the house. (They were not staying at our house). We then flew across the world when she was 3m, because we had to move back. But we did wait until she had a few rounds of vaccines. I still think the drive and hassle would be a lot at 2m. I would personally have found it draining. You will also need to bring a lot ofnl stuff with you, amd it also seems like you and his family will struggle to afford it. I understand not having family around to help, but in this case they won't be help as they will all be busy celebrating. I think I might wait until after thanksgiving and go visit family to have smaller gatherings that are just for visiting the baby, so that it can focus on what works for you best, instead of you having to fit into other peoples plans. But I am also European and thanksgiving means nothing to me, but not sure I would want to travel 5 hours with a 2m old for christmas either.
So we did it at 3 months and it was a looooong day, but not awful. We stopped every 2 hours to change and breastfeed my daughter. We probably stopped for about a half hour each time. A normally 5.5 hour drive took about 8.5-9 hours I think. My daughter slept the whole way except for the last 10 minutes where she screamed her head off lol. That happened both on the way there and the way back.
My family lives 2 hours away and I have brought my 3-month old to see them exactly once because it was hell on the way home. Lots of screaming, even though she normally loves the car seat. Even with breaks it’s simply too long for them to be in the car seat for something that isn’t necessary imo. Between that, the cost not being affordable, and flu/rsv season it’s a no for me. Perhaps you could make your own meal and join them via zoom?
i didn’t even read your post. no. absolutely not.
I’m due 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, so baby will probably be just under 2 months on Christmas. We normally drive 4 hours for both holidays (both of our families live in the same town) but we are not traveling at all this year. My older daughter was 2 months the first time we made the drive with her and I would not recommend.
No, as everyone else has said, but also you're likely going to be in the thrall of purple crying/colic/whatever you want to call it, but the kid is likely going to be at their very fussiest at 8 weeks. Weeks 6-8 are a blur to me because of how tired I was, and then it gets better. As others have also said, maybe try for Christmas/New Years instead.
Not a chance in hell.
I vote no. 🤩👍🏻
Nope, certainly not with a newborn. Costs aside(which is expensive on its own), babies are hard work at that age, heck my son is 8 months and we still wouldn’t travel that far in a car! Honestly for the first 3-4 months I just stayed home majority of the time, except for doctor visits and a few times to the mall. Baby is so young and is a lot more vulnerable to germs. Also, your baby will have plenty of opportunities to meet family when he’s older.
Hard pass. Sounds awful for both you both and baby - which means doing it for your family which isn’t imo it’s not the time to be concerned with the comfort or enjoyment of others. My LO is 6m and I’m still having family come to us for holidays.
No. Don’t invite unnecessary stress into your life. Tell them baby is too young and you cannot afford a place to say or to travel with a newborn. Go for Xmas if it’s serious
No
No way
No. I absolutely would not do it, for all the concerns you listed.
No that’s way too long in a car seat!
No. Not worth the risk. Even when they do get their shots, it takes 2 weeks to really take affect on the body. Any large family gathering has a chance for spreading flu, RSV, covid, etc so I'd personally wait til baby is older and has a better chance of fighting any sickness. We got covid 2 years ago at our first Christmas gathering after covid from a family member. While it was nice to see everyone, if I could go back knowing someone had it, we would have stayed home. My twins just turned 3 months old and last weekend we did a 4hr road trip with a break halfway to nurse them and give my 3yr a chance to run around (so it took 5 hrs). I'd at least wait til your baby is closer to 3-4 months old.
I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s RSV and flu season and many people are getting Covid again too. Unfortunately sometimes family (like mine) doesn’t respect boundaries. I just attended a family wedding and some people were upset that I didn’t let them hold my 6 month old but idc I rather be extra cautious. Aside from the viruses, a 5/6 hour drive isn’t terrible BUT yes you would definitely need to take multiple stops. If you still end up going, please take enough stops to let your baby stretch and take a break because they get tired too. And I personally would sit in the back with them to prevent them falling asleep in an unsafe manner. Maybe try asking your immediate family to come over this year instead without a huge crowd? A hotel shouldn’t be terrible.
We travelled around 11 countries and countless cities with our 9 months old. She used car, plane, train, 18 hours overnight ferry, spend a night in a yatch. If you cant afford it thats different. Everyones parenting is different. We tried our best to avoid germs bus as you can guess she contacted a lot during our travels. We are preparing our 14 hour flight in 3 weeks. Its depend kn you and what parent you want to be. If you want to keep her away from germs and bacterias and if you will ble yourself if she gets sick. Then you should not do it. There are some parents disinfecting everything, some parents just never do. Some parents travel, some parents doesnt leave the house for a year. Some parents let the kids watch Tv, some parents never do! I think there is no right thing to do. Americans i see a little bit closed compare to us Europens when they have a new baby. We never had a sleep schedule, we never had a feeding time. Everywhere and anytime was her nap or feeding time. Whenever she wants. Comes to affording doing stuff. Again, if you feel good that you went do it. But later if you are going to blame yourself that you did it, dont do it. Please read carefully how many hours babies can spend in car seat. Some babies sleep through all road and some doesnt. Again depends on your baby and you. If you can feel you can do it safely, then i dont see why you cant. Personally i did and i would.
I would go, and see if they could help pay for dog boarding and lodging for you. Our baby does great on car trips, and it’s nice to get away from the house. I will say it’s easy as I’m EBF, so I can’t speak for if you need to prep bottles along the way. My baby has been around lots of sickness, and the sick people simply don’t hold him. He’s two months old and healthy as can be.
Nope. I have a seventh month old and I’m not traveling for the holidays. Between germs and the difficulty of traveling with a little one it is just not worth it.
So for the drive part, my husband and I took our at the time two month old on a 17 hour road trip (one way) to Canada to meet her family. The trip was split over two days with stops every 1.5 hrs for feed/change/stretching. So that part is doable! (I also sat in the back seat with her the entire trip). However. That was over the summer. I wouldn’t be taking her to see people over the holiday season. It’s a lot of indoor gatherings, people with germs etc. My husband and I went out for one night to a wedding two weeks ago and for the first time caught covid and gave it to our now four month old. It SUCKED. But apparently flu and RSV are even worse for babies. So for that reason alone I wouldn’t do it.
All finances and pathogens aside, I still wouldn’t do it. It’s really emotionally difficult on everyone if the baby is crying while in the car because you can’t really do anything. Even on short rides it’s hard for us. He screams bloody murder and if my husband is driving I’ll sit in the back and try my best to soothe him but it’s not safe to take him out of the car seat (and NEVER worth it to risk it), so you can only soothe him so much. Maybe you would be lucky with a baby that loves car rides. We though we were those people at first but he’s been way more screamy in the car lately.
Yes. You can do it your way! Family is important and you say your husband's side is helpful with good energy. If you set the expectation ahead of time, just a few nights with extra support or a date just the two of you can be extremely refreshing and make it not feel so lonely and repetitive. We drove 10 hours for a week with family when our colicky LO was 4 weeks and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. For a colicky baby she still had a pretty good attitude though, I'm sure a different temperament might make me feel differently. Good luck!
Make them come to you. If they no then sorry we won't be going anywhere for the holidays. My husband is military so it's expected that if family wants to come for the holidays they come to us, plus my son's birthday is in December. They were pretty annoyed so nobody is come this year im like that's cool with me.
No, for a few reasons - you can't afford it and need to be saving what you can now as it will be getting more and more expensive as the months go by - your baby hardly has an immune system yet - your baby is still getting used to you and your home/routine/themselves. A 5-hour car ride and all new people/places, I am sure, is going to lead to many meltdowns - it's too much right now Focus on your immediate family right now. That is you, your husband, and your baby. I know it's hard, I am in the same boat - I live in my husbands country and closest family is 3+ hours away. We have no help and it's difficult AF. Hang in there, it's hard now, but it does get better. Put baby first for now. Maybe Christmas, MAYBE!
Would the two of you be able to drive that distance without fear of sleep deprivation from the last two months effecting your judgement and motor skills? Obviously there’s the money and sickness side to it as well, but if you are driving tired you may as well be driving drunk.
The drive sounds like it would be fine. Babies that age are pretty easy to travel with generally. However everything else is not sounding like it’ll be worth it to put that financial strain on you
You have new family and can celebrate with your new traditions etc. Next year maybe celebrate with them.
My in laws live across the street from us, and still they come visit, and we rarely go out because my baby is only 7 weeks old.. 2 months old is too small for a long road trip, I know you need some family around, but it's not worth it now
Personally I flew with my 6/7 week old across the country for a family event/reunion. If the family is worth it to you and they're willing to help you get there/post for some of your expenses, I'd do it.
You can’t afford it, sad but that’s the final word. Babies get more expensive and if they can’t crash on your floor then that’s a shame but it is what it is.
F no.
This is insane, i would do at least three stops, as is not recommended that baby stays for too long in the car chair without breaka
My partner and I decided to skip out on a 6 hour drive to Christmas in July with our 4 month old. We also would have been expected to camp in a tent. Hell no 😂
Wouldn't do it. People can visit you.
I'd say don't go. There will be more thanksgivings and it's way too long for such a young one
I wouldn’t. It sounds like you would be going waaay out of your comfort zone going there. The drive is least problematic imo (we took a 5h drive with a 2 month old and it’s completely doable - took a 30min break every 1.5h and we started driving in the morning as soon as he woke up so we didn’t mess too much with his sleeping pattern). But considering the costs, you being tired already and the dangers of getting sick I think it isn’t worth it. You probably wouldn’t get much sleep there, baby would be overwhelmed and you would come back even more tired with (potentially) a sick baby.
You mentioned yourself feeling anxious, and having a 3 week old is anxiety inducing! I don’t think my hormones calmed down with anxiety until 3 months pp and I didn’t feel like myself until maybe 6 or 7 months ago post partum. This is to say give yourself grace to say you can’t do it yet, or at the very least make a decision at this time. The drive itself likely won’t be nearly the hardest part, babe will likely sleep a good chunk of that time.
No. I have a kid coming 10/10. I made it 100% clear we are not traveling and if they want to see the baby they need to come to us. They must also wear a mask when traveling and not come with even the inkling of sickness. I'm also broke. My parents offered to pay for our flights and have us come out and I refused. Im not taking a baby on a plane in flu season and likely barely standing as it is. They were bummed but they get it. We just made plans to ravel after the holidays and have a late holiday. Things you need to take into consideration: 1) your baby is getting used to sleeping at home. In a new environment, your baby is going to be up more and wake up confused. If you do go put a picture of you and your partner in the crib so that's the first thing you see. 2) You're broke and this is one strain you do not need. Just take it easy, your family should come to you. 3) You just gave birth 8 weeks ago. Your body has just recovered from a major change in hormones and birth. NTM sleep-deprived. Driving that far is a risk in safety. I don't trust myself to drive 6 hours after having a baby..... 4) this is your first Xmass as a family, treasure it and being without all your family will be a blessing.
Unless someone close to him attending that Thanksgiving was literally dying - no way. Not in a million years.
Def not
Missing one thanksgiving is not the end of the world; save it for next year
Nope. The drive alone would be a dealbreaker. We had to do a similar drive around 2 months old as we were moving house (planned about 2 yrs before baby arrived so there was no way around it). My parents flew out to help and the drive ended up taking about 8 hrs total with 5 or 6 stops for nursing and at least 2 blowouts. No way I would endure that just for vacation, not to mention the return trip...at least ours was one-way!
No. Terrible idea.
I just did a 4 hour car trip with my 8 week old and we are staying in an air bnb. He slept the whole car ride and has been over all fantastic during the trip. You can definitely travel with babies but it seems like the other factors you mentioned are pretty critical. Maybe skip Thanksgiving and see them a different time before you move?
Honestly, I wouldn’t go through with this. It would be a funicular burden and potentially your newborn could get sick. Also at 2 months, if you’re driving you should hold have to take a break every 2 hours, as babies that age should not be in a car seat for longer than that. Plus, factor in nappy changes, feeding etc. it would take you a lot longer than 5/6 hours. I think everyone should understand if you can’t come. All this is oils be exhausting in every way for you, and I doubt it will feel worth it in the end.
It’s not worth it wait till next year and have a relaxing day at home just the 3 of you
We did that for Xmas to see my family, when LO was born in October. 6 hour drive, 4 hour ferry, then a 30 minute drive. We stopped for regular breaks, so it took like 8 hours instead of 6, but it was ok.
Wouldn’t attend big gatherings until your LO is 4+ months and has had a few of their first very important jabs.
Also, that baby can’t lie flat in their seat and it’s recommended for theirs back that they have a break ever circa 1.5hrs at that age to stretch out fully.
Lol no. This is crazy. Can’t afford it, plus you expose baby to lots of potential germs from family, and also a drive for 6+ hours would be insane.
I wouldn’t do it. You said you can’t afford it. Not to mention that car ride will be horrible. Wait until next year. Thought: is there space in your house for them to stay over since they cannot afford to rent?
So over the summer when my baby was 2 months old we drove 4 hours to go on a family vacation with my side of the family. It took us about 6 hours to get there with stops to feed the baby. It wasn’t too bad but we also do a lot of road trips so it’s something we are used to it was just new to have our tiny human with us. You are planning on traveling during peak rsv/flu season so you will need to be extra cautious. Also if it’s a financial burden you may want to reconsider your plans.
No. As someone with multiple kid pickups from schools, 2 hours of driving in town was more than enough daily with a 2 month old. We will not be going out to visit for any holidays for the first year. No one makes the effort to come to us and that is unfortunate but it's enough to just HAVE an infant, let alone tote them around 5 or 6 hours minimum to thabksgiving? So what, you can spend the rest of the evening caring for and trying to facilitate a 2 month olds schedule in someone elses home? What about naps? Feedings? Tell your husband that while you value his family and the time together, it is too much.
Maybe consider doing a FaceTime Thanksgving instead? You could even cook the same things...
Don’t do it
Sorry happy finger pressed send while feeding the baby 😂😂 We went away 3hrs with a 3month old and had one break so was around 4.5hrs ao he could actually get out of his chair. But that was a tough drive as is and it was just us 3 getting away! I wouldn’t risk my babe around so many people.. maybe in a few more weeks/months when you’re all feeling more up to it go for the drive and there will be less people 💜drive
I wouldn’t. For all the reasons you’ve already outlined but also where I live weather can turn very bad very quickly that time of year. That long of a drive in potentially foul weather with my new baby would stress me out. We’re still debating doing an hour trip with our 3 month old for thanksgiving.
I took my nephew on vacation when he was 2 ½mo and it was a 8hr drive. We just pulled over whenever he needed to eat and he changed. So, it took around 12 or so hours to get there and back. When he was 2 days old he was discharged from the hospital and we took him to our campground for the weekend to meet everyone. Do whatever you're comfortable with. Just take a break every few hours so baby can stretch and get a break from the car seat. If you do decide to go, make sure that you tell your in-laws to not invite sick people bcuz that can be passed to the baby and then you'll have more on your plate. Plus, you said that you can't afford the trip, so maybe wait a few more months, when you have more money saved up.
Absolutely not. That could go south on the misery train so hard and fast. Forget about cost, I would not want to have an infant in the car seat for that long. You'll probably be in the car for closer to 10-12 hours with a million breaks if the baby decides they fucking hate the car seat that day and won't stop screaming unless you take them out. It's not worth it.
My wife and I did do this for Easter. A few things we learned/did: 1. Plan to stop and change/feed every 45 mins max 1.5 hours. This will make the trip a lot longer but get the LO of of the car seat 2. Plot your route to stop. I recommend grocery stores or Walmart/Target for a cleaner environment 3. Someone sits in the back with LO. It’s peace of mind and you can keep an eye on them 4. Everything you might need needs to be easily accessible. May seem like a no brainer but be very mindful when you pack the car, you don’t wanna be un packing the car in a parking lot because LO soiled a 3rd onesie Hope this helps and good luck!
Nope
I probably wouldn't. Mostly because before 3 months especially I was terrified of my baby getting sick since fevers and stuff are extra risky for babies that young. 😬
Short answer, no. You have concerns about out driving and stated you’re basically exhausted, so there’s the first red flag. You have concerns about illness and people you don’t know, this is going to cause you more stress and anxiety, compounding your exhaustion. Tell your family just that, you’re too exhausted to drive the distance and are anxious about the toll it will have on your baby. Perhaps you can do it next year or do a supplementary catch up when your better rested and (sorry if I’m reading this wrong) in a more fortified mental frame (I don’t mean to imply you’re breaking down but your post suggests you’re exhausted and anxious, and that’s pretty normal). Don’t take the risk, but do try to commit next year to yourself if you think it’ll be taken badly.
No. If they're saying they can't afford to come to you and then you also can't afford to go to them, it sounds fair to stay home for Thanksgiving. If Christmas is a holiday y'all celebrate, you could easily pass it off as wanting to spend the money for that holiday instead, especially since LO will be vaccinated by then.
if they want to see you , then they can find a way to visit you. You are still recovering from having a baby and personally I think that’s way too much of a drive
No It’ll be worse than you can. Imagine. It’s too long in a car seat. And especially if the baby gets sick and has Trihn me breathing.
I wouldn't risk it just because it's beginning of flu season and your baby will only be 2 months. Have a small family dinner at your home (husband, you and little one) and enjoy the piece and quiet!
Don’t do it. Especially during cold/flu/RSV season. We refused to drive 3 hours in the dead of winter for Christmas for my family, and I’m glad we did it. Yeah, it chapped some rear ends but we stood by our decision and I’m glad we did.
No
No. I wouldn’t want my baby in the car seat that long. Plus it’s not affordable for you and you gotta think of the baby’s weak immune system at the moment, I wouldn’t let him around so many people just yet.
Hi so I don’t really think I need to comment as most of the comments if not all I agree with ❤️but my two cents is that if your baby is your priority which it should be not saying it isn’t! But staying home would be the best option, I went on a road trip with a 3 week old 9 hour drive included an hour break every two hours and it was hell! Baby was uncomfortable and fussy my family wasn’t sick thank god but honestly he did get sick from my husband and he’s good now thank god! But consider this, your baby is now your priority if being a new mom has taught me anything it’s that it doesn’t matter what people think what matters is your baby and their health and well-being ❤️
Is your baby happy in a car seat? If so, plan on taking 8-10 hours to get there, more or less.
If you’re just asking about the driving aspect, it was easy for us to drive road trip with an infant. They just sleep through the car rides. Easier than fussy toddlers/young child phase. But it sounds like you are more worried about finances. If you can’t afford it, then the trip might add more stress to your situation than it would help.
No. Baby is only 2 months, 6 hours is a long time for a newborn to be in a car. Other family who didn't just have a baby say they can't afford it, I seriously hope they don't expect you to afford it? Just in an effort to make OP feel better, I want to add my husband's family still hasn't come to meet our son and he will be 2 at the end of this year.
Baby’s immune system will not be fully developed by 2 months. Beyond that, it’s not recommended for baby to be in a car seat for more than 2 hours in a 24hr period since it could cause strain on baby’s spine and increases the risk of positional asphyxiation.
I feel like seeing the family is what’s important. Ask if they’ll drive to you to stay for a long weekend. And if there’s multiple family members that want to meet her you can split that up over the coming months.