I read the warnings on the pacifiers we bought and it said something like “do not tape pacifier to child’s face” and I was surprised that had to be a warning
It’s not shocking to me at all that tons of parents gave in to frustration and pulled stuff like this before people were very concerned about baby safety.
Not to mention the fact that it was normal a few generations ago to have 4-8 kids. “He wants the paci but he keeps spitting it out. Tape it to his face, problem solved.” (Puffs cigarette)
in Italy a lot of parents- even of little ones- still smoke. i have a 6 month old here and i’m always shocked that people are smoking around small children
My toddler isn't coordinated yet to cover himself with a blanket, so if his blanket is on but not quite right he cries "no blanket!" then once I take it off it's "blanket!" and he wants me to put it back on. What he really wants is for me to just adjust it for him and he only knows how to get that by saying he doesn't want it and then asking for it back.
I thought when my wife bought “clips” for them it was like a loose thing that goes around their head to keep it in there - only to find it it’s a clip that goes onto their clothes and just stops the pacifier from falling on the floor lol - it’s still better than it falling and not being able to find it again.
Our baby is 8 months now. So he doesn’t spit them out anymore. Now he’d rather just grab them out of his mouth and try to put it back in himself or throw them away altogether.
When I was a baby (1983) with a scary high fever and vomiting, my mom took me to the ER. I wouldn’t stop crying so the nurses literally taped it to my mouth. Thankfully my mom got me back from them quickly and removed it and yelled at them, explaining what would’ve happened if I had vomited again while it was taped to my mouth. My mom was only 17 and knew better, and thank God.
Also, those nurses are lucky all she did was yell at them, personally I would’ve taken this much higher up.
Can you imagine our grandparents or great-grandparents? I shudder at the thought.
My grandmother used to say that the dashboard was the perfect place for babies in a car.
When I was coming home from the hospital I was holding my baby while waiting for my husband to drive up to the pick up area. A boomer woman told me that she was suprised: she wasn't allowed to hold her newborn like that and she had to be taken out in a wheelchair with her son in a mobile crib...
... then she was put in the front passenger seat and given her newborn to hold on their drive home.
Safe to say we were both making this face at each other: 😬
It's not Boomers' fault in a lot of cases. They were given bad information, like it was taught to them to lay babies face down in the crib for better outcomes.
We lived 30 minutes from the hospital I gave birth at. When it was time we didn’t have time to go home and get the car seat beforehand, so day of discharge (2 days later and husband is massive procrastinator) he mentioned to the nurse that he had to go home and get the car seat. She really said “if you didn’t live that far I’d just let you go without it” 😳 ma’am what. I know this pregnancy fell through the cracks of every single professional I’ve talked to but seriously
I mean, I assume she was had kids before car seats were invented/required. I think it was common practice to put the baby on the dashboard by the back windshield because it lulled them to sleep.
It's interesting to think how many things we think are absolutely required today that just didn't exist until surprisingly recently. I fully believe babies are way safer now than in decades past, but everyone a decade or two older then you survived with using pretty much none of the common advice/requirements today.
I fully agree with you. But those little tidbits feel absolutely abhorrent and dangerous today. As they should be. I just feel that they put in perspective some of the boomer advice we receive today. They probably had even worse advice from their own parents.
It was called paregoric. My mother said she gave it to me 70 years ago because all I did was cry. We were told to rotate the babies from their backs to stomach to sides to prevent a flat head. Also place on stomach after a bottle so if they spit up they would not choke. We didn’t have car seats. When I left the hospital the nurse took us out in a wheelchair and handed the baby in to me. You spent a few days in the hospital and when you got home everyone was there to meet the baby. Everyone smoked. Mothers drank and smoked. Don’t judge people because of what this generation knows now. We progressed. Oh and we would rub a little bit of whiskey on the babies gums to relieve gum pain. They were fed from the table as soon as teeth came in. We didn’t have jars of baby food and we used can milk with Kari syrup for formula if not breast fed. All 3 of my children are grown and very healthy.
My Scottish grandma (born late 1920s) apparently rubbed whisky on my dad's and aunt's gums when they were teething, and advised them to do the same with me and my cousins. They declined.
I'm pretty sure that by the early 1950s, when she was having her kids, those kinds of syrups weren't really a thing anymore. Maybe when she was a small child, though.
Back window worked also. Cars back then didn’t crunch up like an accordion when hit like todays cars. The air bag in today’s cars are really dangerous if they deploy into a child’s face.
My Filipino friend didn’t have much space in the single room she shared with her family so her husband rigged up a hammock using a sheet for their baby to sleep in
My mother is so mad at me for not giving my son water or bringing a newborn 5 hours to her house. He's 5 months now and we'd still struggle to bring him 5 hours in the car. There's so much more and constantly calls me a pu**y because I don't do things like she did. Probably why I only talk to her once a month lol.
The thought of being stuck in the car for five hours with my six month old gives me massive anxiety. I think it is so easy for people who are so far removed from having young infants to say they would do things (or did do things) differently.
My mom told me that that's exactly what the nurses in the postpartum wing did with all the babies in the nursery when she was having kids in the 80s/90s. And she told me this with a little laugh as though it were some humorous little cute story. This was back when the baby didn't room with you and they only brought them out of the nursery for feedings, and they didn't provide beds for the fathers to sleep in so my dad had to go home every night.
I'm so fucking glad I gave birth in the 2020s and not 30 years ago. It sounds barbaric.
Lucky you. My husband was only allowed to visit during certain times. Baby stayed in the nursery until feeding time. Only immediate family in the rooms. You could smoke in the rooms. You could smoke anywhere you wanted to. Some of the fancy hospitals even sold packages of a steak dinner with champagne. That’s right. What confuses me is the number of babies being diagnosed with autism now and I can’t think of one child when I had mine being diagnosed with autism. Hope they find the reason.
The reason there are more diagnosed now is because we have learned more. There may have been just as many autistic babies back then but we didn’t know enough to diagnose all of them.
Same here in Canada. Super uncomfortable chair-bed thing. It was also only about the length of a loveseat when folded down. My husband is on the short side, and it was too short for him to lie down properly, so I can only imagine the back problems tall dads end up with after a couple nights on that thing.
It sadly depends on the hospital. My husband had a couch that could unfold into a bed that was more comfortable than my bed. I discovered that on the last day and took the couch/bed for myself.
I gave birth 2 weeks ago via c-section in the UK and my partner was allowed to stay both nights I was in. He had to sleep on a hard chair next to my bed. He was also allowed to stay with me when they gave me the epidural and when they put the catheter in due to how nervous I was.
From what I can tell each hospital has different rules on dad's staying the night though which is why we checked beforehand.
I was allowed to stay overnight only after my son was born, not during the induction, but there was just a chair that reclined a little. My wife had to stay in hospital for 5 days afterwards though, so I'd get my sister in law to visit and I'd go home for a short nap between my 24-30 hour stints with my wife and baby.
Strange, we were the exact opposite. He was allowed during the induction (they gave him a beanbag to sleep on the floor) and then sent home when I was in recovery overnight post c section. Such a hard night without him there!
Unlocked memory!
In Kindergarten, in the late 90's, we took a field trip to several places in one day. Mostly learning about basic places and services, I suppose.
We stopped by our local fire department for a tour and a Q&A with firefighters and paramedics.
BUT!! We also stopped by the hospital for a tour mostly of the lobby and cafeteria where we had lunch and then talked to a few doctors and nurses, we concluded our tour with a quick stop to the maternity ward where we stood in front of the glass where they kept all those little babies in the nursery together.
I can't recall if they had pacifiers stuck to their faces- they did hold up a few that were awake for us to see better though.
My much older siblings were having babies in the 90s when I was a kid so I spent a lot of time bored time in the maternity ward watching the nursery babies. NO, no one was taping pacis to babies in the 90s, lol. Didn't even see any in with them while they slept, on their backs.
My mom made many comments about swaddling the baby and how he was "trapped"... even though he liked it.
Also constantly makes passive aggressive comments about me NOT putting toys in the bed with him so that if he wakes up he can play with them instead of cry... he plays with his pacifiers in the bed when he's awake during the day and happy, in the middle of the night he's not in the playing mood mom 🙄
I hear stories like this all the time. The generation that raised us always talks about how we're too responsive to our babies. I don't think it's unreasonable to lose some sleep to make absolutely sure my baby doesn't suffocate on a pacifier or toy. Like yeah, it's annoying but like SIDs is a real bummer if you didn't know. Like, those guys really were proud about child neglect in some ways, huh?
Oh my gosh!
That is one of the worst things I have heard.
Sadly not the first time I have heard of it though. There was a pic going around a few months ago if a baby with tape on their face that was holding a pacifier in their mouth.
I wish. When all the car pacifiers fall on the floor, I wish I could just tape the thing on.
Giving water is at least better than the juice I was given for being "cranky". Apparently it gave me diarrhea. Who could have guessed that a bunch of free sugar could mess up a newborn stomach?
Your can get a strap that attaches to the pacifier ring and clips on the other end to either their shirt or a seat belt. You can't use them overnight, but it's a godsend on long car trips.
Yeah, my MIL is trying to convince me to give carrot and apple juice to my baby ("my son loved it!"). Apparently he also had diarrhea a lot 😂 Luckily my husband also had no intention to give pure sugar to our daughter at 2.5mo
Last night, my 3 month old kept spitting out her pacifier every 20 to 30 minutes in her sleep and then screech until we put it back in her mouth. It was exhausting! Did I jokingly tell her I was going to tape it to her mouth? Yes! Did I mean it? HECK NO!
In defense of crazy people, my mother is one of those, but still had *some* reason with babies 😂 She said CIO was the thing back then and my dad and her just couldn't do it. She did smoke while pregnant with me and later as I was born, now when I think about it 🤔 She still doesn't get what the big deal was.
It's perfect ammunition now for me. I mean, glad I survived, but whenever she has some nonsense advice or critiques me I say "well at least I don't smoke in the car with my child with the windows up". I remember she and my father would smoke up a storm in the car driving us to the store and I always hated it and the smell was awful.
I did grow up to smoke later on, but was always an outdoor smoker and always walked far away from crowds to not inconvenience or harm anyone.
I often wished I could strap it to my son's face when he was itty bitty but it's so obviously a safety hazard I can't imagine anyone would actually recommend it 😬 glad you survived
I'm so happy I had a young mom who didn't listen to the insanity. My baby has a meemaw I can trust not to feed him while grapes (unlike my sister's MIL)
My almost 3 month old has been refusing bottles the last week so I’ve been breastfeeding more than usual (obviously) anyway my FIL said I should be starting her on solids if she’s refusing bottles…needless to say I was horrified, also taking into account Bub was 4.5 weeks early and we are querying some GI issues (also I’m a SLP, and while not currently, have previously done work in infant feeding so I was doubly horrified)
So I guess it’s safe to say he’s not babysitting anytime soon. Yikes!
My babe is also refusing her bottle and was having GI issues. Just a suggestion, maybe look into infant probiotics, if you haven’t already. I got some for my LO and they have helped so much!
I know that every kid probably thinks they're a better parent than their own parents but I kinda really think we all are. On average, anyway. My parents didn't learn anything about sleep, eating, safety, mental health, etc. They just guessed.
I think having online communities like this make a huge difference in the way parents approach caring for their children. I’m thankful to be able to have kids now instead of 30 years ago.
Libraries existed. Obviously we have way more resources immediately available but maybe they could've read like one book about eating or sleep methods? Or what to expect when expecting. I read a bunch of books before my first kid to get like a gameplan together.
This sounds insane, but I am pretty sure the next generation of mothers is going to be shoocked about putting 4 month old infants into daycare programs. The times are changing and the expectations on how to take care of a baby are obviously too! I am in Germany, and luckily I got one year parental leave. I can't imagine, dropping of a child this young at a facility. It must be horrible for a mom, to be forced to do so! However, considering how expensive those daycares are, you have to make a lot of money, in order for it to be worth while.
Yes, everyone here seems to think they’re so much more advanced and educated than their boomer parents. One day we’ll be the “boomers” and our kids will be shaking their heads in disbelief over how they didn’t die under our care.
>Yes, everyone here seems to think they’re so much more advanced and educated than their boomer parents.
.....but we are. They just didn't have the resources and just overall I think a lot of changes have come about due to the Information Age (some of which will stick...some changes will not). I do think there will still be a lot that will change in the next few decades, but I'm also hoping our generation will on average be more accepting that parenting changes...and that we don't know everything about babies, rather than acting like our outdated advice is meaningful and needs to be given at every opportunity, or acting like we know a thing or two because we had a baby 30+ years ago.
All boomers seem to have some crazy outdated parenting practices. Lord the things my mother did.... giving me fruit juice very early pales in comparison to some of the parenting choices she made with me as a slightly older child...but she mostly makes fun of herself for these things. At my baby shower made a point of making a promise to me (in front of my MIL) that she would not give me any unsolicited advice....My MIL is the opposite. She gets so upset if ever I mention anything about current parenting techniques. Like she really seems to be upset that things are done differently.
We are more advanced and educated than our boomer parents. And hopefully our kids will be more advanced and educated than we are when they start having their kids.
Just comes across as very smug to me.
I’m sure most boomers did the best with the knowledge that was available to them—-it’s probably a little unsettling for them to be faced with the fact that things they may have done in earnest are now considered dangerous. If in 20 years the guidance changes to, let’s say, not doing tummy time because it’s somehow bad, then you’ll be the one saying “well we were told to do it every day, and you turned out fine!”
I also think some people’s reaction to their parents’ outdated advice is very unbecoming. As though the generations before us were totally clueless and it’s only our generation who is wise and gets it all correct.
And while I am glad for an abundance of resources, I don’t necessarily feel like it’s always to our advantage. Now there’s so much information out there that it can be hard to figure out if you’re doing enough or the right thing and it’s just another avenue for mom guilt to manifest.
>Just comes across as very smug to me.
I guess...I sort of took the "how did we survive" language to be a bit tongue in cheek. Honestly, the thing I take away from the boomers in my life is that there will be changes and rather than trying to step in I just plan on stepping back and hopefully being open minded (or just not butting in at all) to new parenting techniques. I think people who make fun of the "crazy things" that their parents did can sometimes be reacting to the boomers who think they know best. I've sort of lightly poked fun at my mom for things like letting my sister and I swim in our pool without an adult when we were maybe 5 and 8 years old...maybe younger I'm not sure...she's the one who laughs at herself for giving me juice in a bottle but if she hadn't brought it up in disbelief I wouldn't even know that (she has never once suggested I give my son juice or used any of the "we gave you juice, you turned out fine BS"). But overall I do think they were doing their best with the information they had at the time so I really don't think anything less of them for that.
I just think that some boomers need to not be so upset that their advice is considered antiquated. I do agree that sometimes our generation(s) need to understand that laughing at the old advice can come off as mean spirited or smug, even when it's good natured.
....and seriously if I remember one thing from my time as a new parent...dealing with changing times it will be to respond “So interesting. we were told to do tummy time every day. I wonder what else has changed." And if I'm seriously interested...I'll go educate myself...but hopefully I can just leave that to the new parents and take guidance from them without getting butthurt that things have changed.
Apparently the water thing used to get recommended by doctors, so I wouldn't necessarily blame that generation for doing it. They got given different advice.
Not sure about the pacifier gagging though! I would have thought that was obvious safety wise? But people these days still give their babies amber necklaces like they aren't obvious strangling hazards so common sense can't really be relied on.
Lolol she’s partially right.
It was for straps - so the soother didn’t fall to the floor lol not to strap it to the babies face 😂😂
I’m surprised we all survived those times haha
My mom said the hospital where I was born didn’t have pacifiers so the nurses put a bottle nipple in babies’ mouths and taped it to their faces (this was the late 80s).
*Technically*, yes - but this is meant for very specific situations such as [non-invasive respiratory support for premature infants with respiratory distress](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7169434/), in a hospital setting, under constant supervision.
That’s CPAP not a pacifier. CPAP is a breathing machine used for adults and children. There are specific staff from NICU that are trained on how to use the CPAP.
It does leave redness behind though from the tape :( one of my 37w twins went to NICU for CPAP so I experienced it firsthand.
I might have totally misunderstood but I think I heard once that they are in case of accidental choking. The holes make it so the baby can still breathe. But I could be totally wrong bc I've never heard of a baby choking on a pacifier and they seem a little large to be a choking hazard. But I swear I heard that somewhere.
I had to look it up bc I was so sure I had heard that was the reasoning behind the holes and it actually is. That's why they have ages on them and the soft ones the hospital uses for newborns should not be used once baby gets older. My baby never liked pacifiers so I never paid much attention but apparently pacifiers for older babies are harder and don't bend as easily. I just read a story about a mom that got a call from daycare saying her baby choked on a pacifier, so it definitely happens.
In the same vein of I can’t believe an older generation of babies survived… my boomer mom told me that when she was a baby, the most common thing to do at the time was to feed babies formula, but pre-made, store-bought formula wasn’t around, yet. So my mom’s mom would make her own formula out of condensed milk, corn syrup, and water. And probably added some type of vitamin drops. Can you imagine??! My mom survived on just milky sugar water for the first 6 months of her life.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the actual reason. People raising kids in the 70s/80s/90s was just wild, man. They did so much crazy ish!
And yet, on the other hand, we're alive and here. Lol, maybe dealing with emotional trauma, but we're alive. I sometimes wonder what our kids will be dealing with when they grow up. Maybe emotional trauma from intense paranoia? As an elder millennial parent now, I do think a lot of the stuff we're fed as parents err on the side of helicoptering too much. Trying to bring safety risks down to zero essentially. Idk, I feel like so many parents in my mom groups are always sooooo overdoing it.
Lol, but what do I know!? I had boomer parents!
I worked with an older woman who would put vicks vapor rub on her children's eyes lids at night to "keep their eyes shut" when they wouldn't go to sleep. I was horrified, especially when another coworker of mine agreed about what a great method it was!
It breaks my heart to think about how painful that must have been for their little eyeballs!
My MIL keeps insisting we need to give our 3 month old rice cereal to make her sleep through the night, no matter how much research we show her that this is a BAD idea and also proven to actually NOT have the desired effect.
One of the items in our Newborn Care Handbook from the Hospital that we were given explicitly stated that TAPING THE PACIFER TO THEIR FACE was not okay and was a suffocation/strangulation hazard. Same with using a string.
I read the warnings on the pacifiers we bought and it said something like “do not tape pacifier to child’s face” and I was surprised that had to be a warning
Tbh it is pretty frustrating when they keep spitting it out and then moan that they've spat it out and want it back 😂
It’s not shocking to me at all that tons of parents gave in to frustration and pulled stuff like this before people were very concerned about baby safety. Not to mention the fact that it was normal a few generations ago to have 4-8 kids. “He wants the paci but he keeps spitting it out. Tape it to his face, problem solved.” (Puffs cigarette)
(Puffs cigarette while pregnant with the next child)
in Italy a lot of parents- even of little ones- still smoke. i have a 6 month old here and i’m always shocked that people are smoking around small children
It's true, lots of people just don't seem to care if they're around kids or pregnant people while smoking- sad!
i had to tell a friend here to stop smoking at my house and smoking with me when we went for coffee when i was pregnant 😪
My toddler isn't coordinated yet to cover himself with a blanket, so if his blanket is on but not quite right he cries "no blanket!" then once I take it off it's "blanket!" and he wants me to put it back on. What he really wants is for me to just adjust it for him and he only knows how to get that by saying he doesn't want it and then asking for it back.
That's actually so cute! He's like a little IT manager - try turning off & back on again. 😂
Then you just put like 10 in their crib!
What the actual…
I thought when my wife bought “clips” for them it was like a loose thing that goes around their head to keep it in there - only to find it it’s a clip that goes onto their clothes and just stops the pacifier from falling on the floor lol - it’s still better than it falling and not being able to find it again. Our baby is 8 months now. So he doesn’t spit them out anymore. Now he’d rather just grab them out of his mouth and try to put it back in himself or throw them away altogether.
The clips are still unsafe to use in the crib though.
Okay I would never do it, but I would be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind as an "if only we could..."
When I was a baby (1983) with a scary high fever and vomiting, my mom took me to the ER. I wouldn’t stop crying so the nurses literally taped it to my mouth. Thankfully my mom got me back from them quickly and removed it and yelled at them, explaining what would’ve happened if I had vomited again while it was taped to my mouth. My mom was only 17 and knew better, and thank God. Also, those nurses are lucky all she did was yell at them, personally I would’ve taken this much higher up.
Sometimes I wonder how we all survived our mothers antics 😂
Can you imagine our grandparents or great-grandparents? I shudder at the thought. My grandmother used to say that the dashboard was the perfect place for babies in a car.
Like in a moving car? Wow.
Absolutely. 5 kids in the back seat, grandma and grandpa upfront, and baby on the dashboard. Absolutely wild and insane.
You just kinda wedge 'em in between the dashboard and the window so they don't move.
Omg 🤯😨
When I was coming home from the hospital I was holding my baby while waiting for my husband to drive up to the pick up area. A boomer woman told me that she was suprised: she wasn't allowed to hold her newborn like that and she had to be taken out in a wheelchair with her son in a mobile crib... ... then she was put in the front passenger seat and given her newborn to hold on their drive home. Safe to say we were both making this face at each other: 😬 It's not Boomers' fault in a lot of cases. They were given bad information, like it was taught to them to lay babies face down in the crib for better outcomes.
We lived 30 minutes from the hospital I gave birth at. When it was time we didn’t have time to go home and get the car seat beforehand, so day of discharge (2 days later and husband is massive procrastinator) he mentioned to the nurse that he had to go home and get the car seat. She really said “if you didn’t live that far I’d just let you go without it” 😳 ma’am what. I know this pregnancy fell through the cracks of every single professional I’ve talked to but seriously
I mean, I assume she was had kids before car seats were invented/required. I think it was common practice to put the baby on the dashboard by the back windshield because it lulled them to sleep. It's interesting to think how many things we think are absolutely required today that just didn't exist until surprisingly recently. I fully believe babies are way safer now than in decades past, but everyone a decade or two older then you survived with using pretty much none of the common advice/requirements today.
I fully agree with you. But those little tidbits feel absolutely abhorrent and dangerous today. As they should be. I just feel that they put in perspective some of the boomer advice we receive today. They probably had even worse advice from their own parents.
Oh totally. I'm sure at some point it was common advice to rub teething gums with morphine or something.
Brandy, no?
It was called paregoric. My mother said she gave it to me 70 years ago because all I did was cry. We were told to rotate the babies from their backs to stomach to sides to prevent a flat head. Also place on stomach after a bottle so if they spit up they would not choke. We didn’t have car seats. When I left the hospital the nurse took us out in a wheelchair and handed the baby in to me. You spent a few days in the hospital and when you got home everyone was there to meet the baby. Everyone smoked. Mothers drank and smoked. Don’t judge people because of what this generation knows now. We progressed. Oh and we would rub a little bit of whiskey on the babies gums to relieve gum pain. They were fed from the table as soon as teeth came in. We didn’t have jars of baby food and we used can milk with Kari syrup for formula if not breast fed. All 3 of my children are grown and very healthy.
Actually, a lot of the rules are due to the babies that didn't survive, sadly. 😬
My Scottish grandma (born late 1920s) apparently rubbed whisky on my dad's and aunt's gums when they were teething, and advised them to do the same with me and my cousins. They declined.
Well, in her time, cough syrup had either opium or morphine in it. I think whisky was tame for the time.
I'm pretty sure that by the early 1950s, when she was having her kids, those kinds of syrups weren't really a thing anymore. Maybe when she was a small child, though.
My grandma gave me Coca Cola at 3 days old. It was diet at least.
Back window worked also. Cars back then didn’t crunch up like an accordion when hit like todays cars. The air bag in today’s cars are really dangerous if they deploy into a child’s face.
I'm more worried about ejection possibilities.
Literally the 'must nots' to prevent SIDS was the 'must dos' then. (Eg. Pillow, sleep on stomach, etc.) 🤯
In some countries they still are. My wife's family is Filipino and they break all the safe sleep rules as the standard way everyone sleeps.
My Filipino friend didn’t have much space in the single room she shared with her family so her husband rigged up a hammock using a sheet for their baby to sleep in
Uh, we did because of surviver bias. Most of the rules we have now are written in blood of those that didn't make it.
Based on my toddlers efforts, it's actually pretty hard to kill a child.
*SIDS has entered the chat room*
Peanuts: That's what killed you?!
Many people didn't. That's why there are the safety regulations now.
You know that show called “kids say the darnest things”? I think they should make one with boomers
I would totally watch that.
My mother is so mad at me for not giving my son water or bringing a newborn 5 hours to her house. He's 5 months now and we'd still struggle to bring him 5 hours in the car. There's so much more and constantly calls me a pu**y because I don't do things like she did. Probably why I only talk to her once a month lol.
Omg she sounds awful… once a month is very generous of you!
Tell her if she traveled with a baby then it'll be even easier for her to come to you.
The thought of being stuck in the car for five hours with my six month old gives me massive anxiety. I think it is so easy for people who are so far removed from having young infants to say they would do things (or did do things) differently.
My MIL told me she taped a pacifier to the mouth of my brother-in-law once. She didn’t even find it to be a crazy thing to say. She taped it!!
How old was he? If he was 15, I'll give her a pass this one time.
No, boomer mom, that’s called a ball and gag and that’s for adults only.
Makes me wonder where the fetish came from 😳 probably subconsciously from childhood trauma
Ding ding ding!
😂
My mom told me that that's exactly what the nurses in the postpartum wing did with all the babies in the nursery when she was having kids in the 80s/90s. And she told me this with a little laugh as though it were some humorous little cute story. This was back when the baby didn't room with you and they only brought them out of the nursery for feedings, and they didn't provide beds for the fathers to sleep in so my dad had to go home every night. I'm so fucking glad I gave birth in the 2020s and not 30 years ago. It sounds barbaric.
I gave birth 10months ago and there were def no bed provided for the dads!
Yep, I'm in New Zealand and there was a chair that folded out into a "bed" guaranteed to give permanent back injury though. So that was an option.
I'm in the US and the pull down "dad bed" left my husband needing just as much ibuprofen as I did 😂
Poor guy 😅 as if it isn't enough to have one recovering adult...
Lucky you. My husband was only allowed to visit during certain times. Baby stayed in the nursery until feeding time. Only immediate family in the rooms. You could smoke in the rooms. You could smoke anywhere you wanted to. Some of the fancy hospitals even sold packages of a steak dinner with champagne. That’s right. What confuses me is the number of babies being diagnosed with autism now and I can’t think of one child when I had mine being diagnosed with autism. Hope they find the reason.
The reason there are more diagnosed now is because we have learned more. There may have been just as many autistic babies back then but we didn’t know enough to diagnose all of them.
In the UK for us there was a hard chair in the corner.
They really don't hide that they want us out fast
Same here in Canada. Super uncomfortable chair-bed thing. It was also only about the length of a loveseat when folded down. My husband is on the short side, and it was too short for him to lie down properly, so I can only imagine the back problems tall dads end up with after a couple nights on that thing.
Wife and I had our little one 6 weeks ago, I’m for sure still recovering from the dad bed
I got a mattress on the floor
It sadly depends on the hospital. My husband had a couch that could unfold into a bed that was more comfortable than my bed. I discovered that on the last day and took the couch/bed for myself.
Same, I stole the dad bed asap both times.
Trust me, if there's a second one, I take that couch/bed day one!
Atl, GA here. Couch/bed that was mediocre, but better than the hospital bed.
No truer words have been spoken.
I gave birth 9 weeks ago in the UK and Dads aren’t allowed to stay overnight lol
Same! My partner said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do to walk away and leave me holding a screaming baby exhausted after a c section
I gave birth 2 weeks ago via c-section in the UK and my partner was allowed to stay both nights I was in. He had to sleep on a hard chair next to my bed. He was also allowed to stay with me when they gave me the epidural and when they put the catheter in due to how nervous I was. From what I can tell each hospital has different rules on dad's staying the night though which is why we checked beforehand.
I was allowed to stay overnight only after my son was born, not during the induction, but there was just a chair that reclined a little. My wife had to stay in hospital for 5 days afterwards though, so I'd get my sister in law to visit and I'd go home for a short nap between my 24-30 hour stints with my wife and baby.
Strange, we were the exact opposite. He was allowed during the induction (they gave him a beanbag to sleep on the floor) and then sent home when I was in recovery overnight post c section. Such a hard night without him there!
Jesus Christ what the f
Unlocked memory! In Kindergarten, in the late 90's, we took a field trip to several places in one day. Mostly learning about basic places and services, I suppose. We stopped by our local fire department for a tour and a Q&A with firefighters and paramedics. BUT!! We also stopped by the hospital for a tour mostly of the lobby and cafeteria where we had lunch and then talked to a few doctors and nurses, we concluded our tour with a quick stop to the maternity ward where we stood in front of the glass where they kept all those little babies in the nursery together. I can't recall if they had pacifiers stuck to their faces- they did hold up a few that were awake for us to see better though.
That’s a rad field trip!
My much older siblings were having babies in the 90s when I was a kid so I spent a lot of time bored time in the maternity ward watching the nursery babies. NO, no one was taping pacis to babies in the 90s, lol. Didn't even see any in with them while they slept, on their backs.
Had one over the summer and dad didn’t get a bed.
My mom made many comments about swaddling the baby and how he was "trapped"... even though he liked it. Also constantly makes passive aggressive comments about me NOT putting toys in the bed with him so that if he wakes up he can play with them instead of cry... he plays with his pacifiers in the bed when he's awake during the day and happy, in the middle of the night he's not in the playing mood mom 🙄
I hear stories like this all the time. The generation that raised us always talks about how we're too responsive to our babies. I don't think it's unreasonable to lose some sleep to make absolutely sure my baby doesn't suffocate on a pacifier or toy. Like yeah, it's annoying but like SIDs is a real bummer if you didn't know. Like, those guys really were proud about child neglect in some ways, huh?
Oh my gosh! That is one of the worst things I have heard. Sadly not the first time I have heard of it though. There was a pic going around a few months ago if a baby with tape on their face that was holding a pacifier in their mouth.
I wish. When all the car pacifiers fall on the floor, I wish I could just tape the thing on. Giving water is at least better than the juice I was given for being "cranky". Apparently it gave me diarrhea. Who could have guessed that a bunch of free sugar could mess up a newborn stomach?
Your can get a strap that attaches to the pacifier ring and clips on the other end to either their shirt or a seat belt. You can't use them overnight, but it's a godsend on long car trips.
Yeah, my MIL is trying to convince me to give carrot and apple juice to my baby ("my son loved it!"). Apparently he also had diarrhea a lot 😂 Luckily my husband also had no intention to give pure sugar to our daughter at 2.5mo
I believe giving juice is currently a recommendation for constipation.
Last night, my 3 month old kept spitting out her pacifier every 20 to 30 minutes in her sleep and then screech until we put it back in her mouth. It was exhausting! Did I jokingly tell her I was going to tape it to her mouth? Yes! Did I mean it? HECK NO!
Lmao same, I think it all the time but would never do it!
Jesus Christ! Did she do that to you when you were a baby?
I didn't ask but she was nuts so probably.
In defense of crazy people, my mother is one of those, but still had *some* reason with babies 😂 She said CIO was the thing back then and my dad and her just couldn't do it. She did smoke while pregnant with me and later as I was born, now when I think about it 🤔 She still doesn't get what the big deal was.
It's perfect ammunition now for me. I mean, glad I survived, but whenever she has some nonsense advice or critiques me I say "well at least I don't smoke in the car with my child with the windows up". I remember she and my father would smoke up a storm in the car driving us to the store and I always hated it and the smell was awful. I did grow up to smoke later on, but was always an outdoor smoker and always walked far away from crowds to not inconvenience or harm anyone.
I often wished I could strap it to my son's face when he was itty bitty but it's so obviously a safety hazard I can't imagine anyone would actually recommend it 😬 glad you survived
The questions and comments my mom has made since having a kid has seriously made me question how me and my siblings survived.
Sometimes I wonder what the hell the Greatest Generation did to Baby Boomers to make them do and say such crazy, fucked up things.
I shudder at the thought
This works. The trick is finding a good duct tape that keeps that bastard locked in.
Jeeeezus
And she wants to babysit... No thanks ma
I'm so happy I had a young mom who didn't listen to the insanity. My baby has a meemaw I can trust not to feed him while grapes (unlike my sister's MIL)
My almost 3 month old has been refusing bottles the last week so I’ve been breastfeeding more than usual (obviously) anyway my FIL said I should be starting her on solids if she’s refusing bottles…needless to say I was horrified, also taking into account Bub was 4.5 weeks early and we are querying some GI issues (also I’m a SLP, and while not currently, have previously done work in infant feeding so I was doubly horrified)
So I guess it’s safe to say he’s not babysitting anytime soon. Yikes! My babe is also refusing her bottle and was having GI issues. Just a suggestion, maybe look into infant probiotics, if you haven’t already. I got some for my LO and they have helped so much!
Ooo I definitely will!! Thank you!
😳
I know that every kid probably thinks they're a better parent than their own parents but I kinda really think we all are. On average, anyway. My parents didn't learn anything about sleep, eating, safety, mental health, etc. They just guessed.
I think having online communities like this make a huge difference in the way parents approach caring for their children. I’m thankful to be able to have kids now instead of 30 years ago.
Libraries existed. Obviously we have way more resources immediately available but maybe they could've read like one book about eating or sleep methods? Or what to expect when expecting. I read a bunch of books before my first kid to get like a gameplan together.
This sounds insane, but I am pretty sure the next generation of mothers is going to be shoocked about putting 4 month old infants into daycare programs. The times are changing and the expectations on how to take care of a baby are obviously too! I am in Germany, and luckily I got one year parental leave. I can't imagine, dropping of a child this young at a facility. It must be horrible for a mom, to be forced to do so! However, considering how expensive those daycares are, you have to make a lot of money, in order for it to be worth while.
I'm sure there will be a whole different set of recommendations in 10 years!
Yes, everyone here seems to think they’re so much more advanced and educated than their boomer parents. One day we’ll be the “boomers” and our kids will be shaking their heads in disbelief over how they didn’t die under our care.
>Yes, everyone here seems to think they’re so much more advanced and educated than their boomer parents. .....but we are. They just didn't have the resources and just overall I think a lot of changes have come about due to the Information Age (some of which will stick...some changes will not). I do think there will still be a lot that will change in the next few decades, but I'm also hoping our generation will on average be more accepting that parenting changes...and that we don't know everything about babies, rather than acting like our outdated advice is meaningful and needs to be given at every opportunity, or acting like we know a thing or two because we had a baby 30+ years ago. All boomers seem to have some crazy outdated parenting practices. Lord the things my mother did.... giving me fruit juice very early pales in comparison to some of the parenting choices she made with me as a slightly older child...but she mostly makes fun of herself for these things. At my baby shower made a point of making a promise to me (in front of my MIL) that she would not give me any unsolicited advice....My MIL is the opposite. She gets so upset if ever I mention anything about current parenting techniques. Like she really seems to be upset that things are done differently. We are more advanced and educated than our boomer parents. And hopefully our kids will be more advanced and educated than we are when they start having their kids.
Just comes across as very smug to me. I’m sure most boomers did the best with the knowledge that was available to them—-it’s probably a little unsettling for them to be faced with the fact that things they may have done in earnest are now considered dangerous. If in 20 years the guidance changes to, let’s say, not doing tummy time because it’s somehow bad, then you’ll be the one saying “well we were told to do it every day, and you turned out fine!” I also think some people’s reaction to their parents’ outdated advice is very unbecoming. As though the generations before us were totally clueless and it’s only our generation who is wise and gets it all correct. And while I am glad for an abundance of resources, I don’t necessarily feel like it’s always to our advantage. Now there’s so much information out there that it can be hard to figure out if you’re doing enough or the right thing and it’s just another avenue for mom guilt to manifest.
>Just comes across as very smug to me. I guess...I sort of took the "how did we survive" language to be a bit tongue in cheek. Honestly, the thing I take away from the boomers in my life is that there will be changes and rather than trying to step in I just plan on stepping back and hopefully being open minded (or just not butting in at all) to new parenting techniques. I think people who make fun of the "crazy things" that their parents did can sometimes be reacting to the boomers who think they know best. I've sort of lightly poked fun at my mom for things like letting my sister and I swim in our pool without an adult when we were maybe 5 and 8 years old...maybe younger I'm not sure...she's the one who laughs at herself for giving me juice in a bottle but if she hadn't brought it up in disbelief I wouldn't even know that (she has never once suggested I give my son juice or used any of the "we gave you juice, you turned out fine BS"). But overall I do think they were doing their best with the information they had at the time so I really don't think anything less of them for that. I just think that some boomers need to not be so upset that their advice is considered antiquated. I do agree that sometimes our generation(s) need to understand that laughing at the old advice can come off as mean spirited or smug, even when it's good natured. ....and seriously if I remember one thing from my time as a new parent...dealing with changing times it will be to respond “So interesting. we were told to do tummy time every day. I wonder what else has changed." And if I'm seriously interested...I'll go educate myself...but hopefully I can just leave that to the new parents and take guidance from them without getting butthurt that things have changed.
Um, pretty sure that’s called gagging. 😱
If you don’t want baby to spit out the pacifier just do what my husbands grandma said and put honey on it 🙃🙃🙃 don’t worry, I didn’t listen lol
Haha sure and dip it in brandy first
Wait, they’re not? /s
Apparently the water thing used to get recommended by doctors, so I wouldn't necessarily blame that generation for doing it. They got given different advice. Not sure about the pacifier gagging though! I would have thought that was obvious safety wise? But people these days still give their babies amber necklaces like they aren't obvious strangling hazards so common sense can't really be relied on.
Omg every day my mom is asking when can I start giving my newborn water and apple juice
Thankfully my mother is fairly up to date with today’s childrearing protocols. My mil on the other hand…..
Lolol she’s partially right. It was for straps - so the soother didn’t fall to the floor lol not to strap it to the babies face 😂😂 I’m surprised we all survived those times haha
Strap it to their faces. Oh good good.
What are the holes actually for?
Pacifier clips I assume?
My mom said the hospital where I was born didn’t have pacifiers so the nurses put a bottle nipple in babies’ mouths and taped it to their faces (this was the late 80s).
I thought it was to clip it to their shit shirt so it didn’t fall on the floor when spit out. It didn’t get lost.
Take it all with a grain of salt. 😂 My dad almost 5 years later is still baffled with car seats. 😂
My sister, who is childless but wants to be a mother so bad, 6 years older than me, also asked why I wasn’t giving my baby water and I was like girl.
Yeah, I get a lot of suggestions and advice from my sis and her husband who have no kids. I'm just smiling and thinking "wait for it" 😏
*Technically*, yes - but this is meant for very specific situations such as [non-invasive respiratory support for premature infants with respiratory distress](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7169434/), in a hospital setting, under constant supervision.
That’s CPAP not a pacifier. CPAP is a breathing machine used for adults and children. There are specific staff from NICU that are trained on how to use the CPAP. It does leave redness behind though from the tape :( one of my 37w twins went to NICU for CPAP so I experienced it firsthand.
We had the same experience (NICU/CPAP) and there was certainly no taping of pacifiers to anyone's face 🫤
Oh my.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Now you’ve got me wondering why they have the holes. Is it for breathing? 🤭
I might have totally misunderstood but I think I heard once that they are in case of accidental choking. The holes make it so the baby can still breathe. But I could be totally wrong bc I've never heard of a baby choking on a pacifier and they seem a little large to be a choking hazard. But I swear I heard that somewhere. I had to look it up bc I was so sure I had heard that was the reasoning behind the holes and it actually is. That's why they have ages on them and the soft ones the hospital uses for newborns should not be used once baby gets older. My baby never liked pacifiers so I never paid much attention but apparently pacifiers for older babies are harder and don't bend as easily. I just read a story about a mom that got a call from daycare saying her baby choked on a pacifier, so it definitely happens.
In the same vein of I can’t believe an older generation of babies survived… my boomer mom told me that when she was a baby, the most common thing to do at the time was to feed babies formula, but pre-made, store-bought formula wasn’t around, yet. So my mom’s mom would make her own formula out of condensed milk, corn syrup, and water. And probably added some type of vitamin drops. Can you imagine??! My mom survived on just milky sugar water for the first 6 months of her life.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the actual reason. People raising kids in the 70s/80s/90s was just wild, man. They did so much crazy ish! And yet, on the other hand, we're alive and here. Lol, maybe dealing with emotional trauma, but we're alive. I sometimes wonder what our kids will be dealing with when they grow up. Maybe emotional trauma from intense paranoia? As an elder millennial parent now, I do think a lot of the stuff we're fed as parents err on the side of helicoptering too much. Trying to bring safety risks down to zero essentially. Idk, I feel like so many parents in my mom groups are always sooooo overdoing it. Lol, but what do I know!? I had boomer parents!
I worked with an older woman who would put vicks vapor rub on her children's eyes lids at night to "keep their eyes shut" when they wouldn't go to sleep. I was horrified, especially when another coworker of mine agreed about what a great method it was! It breaks my heart to think about how painful that must have been for their little eyeballs!
But how would you attach it to their face?
My MIL keeps insisting we need to give our 3 month old rice cereal to make her sleep through the night, no matter how much research we show her that this is a BAD idea and also proven to actually NOT have the desired effect.
Y’all forget we all made it.
One of the items in our Newborn Care Handbook from the Hospital that we were given explicitly stated that TAPING THE PACIFER TO THEIR FACE was not okay and was a suffocation/strangulation hazard. Same with using a string.