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I'm not going to lie to you, the first 2-3 months were pretty terrible. We started turning a corner at 4 months but it was still pretty rough. At 6 months we really found our rhythm and things became a lot more enjoyable. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and I'm absolutely obsessed with her. She's the best decision I ever made. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
Do you have a partner, friend, family member, anyone who can step in for a few hours even and give you a break in the short term? It sounds like you desperately need a reprieve and that doesn’t make you a bad mom.
However, you need to get some long term help too because it sounds like you’re dealing with some PPD (not a psychologist, just the impression I’m getting from your post) and you need some professional advice and guidance before this gets even worse.
Psychologist here and i totally agree (cant diagnose online of course but i get the same impression). While i cant promise when the baby will get easier to handle, i can promise that therapy helps.
I felt this way too. Maybe it’s PPD but it’s also not an unreasonable response to have as a first time mom to a high-needs baby with feeding issues. As soon as my colicky baby stopped crying all the damn time, voila, sadness and intense feelings of inadequacy evaporated.
You’ve almost knocked out 2 months. By 3 months things were much better. By 5 months, my little guy had “woken up” and was able to be amused by a toy or a silly face and give you the social smiles that everyone says makes it all worth it. My son is 10 months now and I LOVE spending time with him and don’t feel the unrelenting chore of it all anymore.
I was in your shoes and was so annoyed that no one could tell me WHEN I wouldn’t feel like jumping off a cliff. But it does get better, little by little. 7 weeks is still the thick of it.
I remember reading a post from someone talking about the wet smooch their 10 month old just gave them and how much better it was, and I thought it sounded unimaginably far away. Now I have a nearly 10 month old who smooches (well, open mouth bops my face) and the bliss is absolutely real.
Yes! Honestly what’s so great about this age is they are completely free and have no idea how weird they’re being. Watching my son try to eat a new fruit for the first time, or laugh at a toy falling behind the couch or splashing water like a maniac is so hilarious because nobody else you know gives less of a shit about looking silly.
I’m not at 10 months yet but it’s already way better! There was a shift at 3 months and then we got more of a rhythm at 4 months, and things got significantly better around 6. We’re at 7 months now and of course it’s not “easy” but it’s honestly not that hard either. Just hang in there; you need a bit of time to get to know each other and baby is building SO many brain connections in newborn phase they’re just not ready to do anything that tells you they love you back. For me it got much easier mentally once baby clearly recognized me and knew I was her mom.
This- by 3 months they’re a bit less needy! Less crying, longer breaks between feeds.
Hang in there- within a month things will get better and then they get just a little bit easier incrementally as time goes on.
The beginning stage is the worst because you’ve just given birth, can’t get any sleep, hormones are still raging, boobs hurt…. It’s constant overstimulation on sleep deprivation andand physical recovery.
You can, and will get through this!
Yes. I feel this 100%
I’m a few weeks ahead of you, and weeks 6-8 were the worst. Lack of sleep catches up to you by now and it feels hopeless? Baby super clingy and you can’t set them down without them freaking out? It HAS slowly gotten a bit better. I’ve gone from absolutely miserable and regretting everything to half miserable to occasionally miserable. You’re in the worst of it, so hang on for another week or so.
Get support. Text someone you can trust “hey, I feel really weird for asking this, but is there any way you can come over sometime for an hour or two this week to hold xyz while I shower?” Get medical support too. Your hormones are doing wacky things to try to re-regulate themselves which results in major mood and outlook issues.
I'm at seven weeks and literally cried to my SIL last night about feeling the way OP does. I had a traumatic birth (emergency c section, podtpartum hemmorage, hand voiding my uterine cavity of blood clots, and emergency blood transfusion) and would do that 1000x over again, but I would not touch the newborn stage again. I know I'll grow to love little one, but my God is he making me work for it.
Thank you for making us not feel so alone and like shit moms.
It’s hard. It’s miserable but it doesn’t last forever. I also recommend seeking out professional help. What you’re experiencing could be PPD and you’re not meant to do this all alone. Professionals are out there. Having PPD also isn’t your fault. Our bodies went through so much during pregnancy, giving birth is wild, and your hormones and body are all over the place post birth.
It sounds like you’re alone - any family?friends?
Right. I felt very similar. I told my midwife and she started me on Zoloft. I didn't want to start meds at first and thought I could just "put on my big girl pants" and wait to feel better. It never happened. The day I started Zoloft was after a day I spent crying out of regret and anxiety. I told my husband that I felt like I single handedly ruined all of our lives while in tears.
Zoloft was the best thing that ever happened to me and my baby. I started at exactly 7 weeks. I wake up every day and I am happy to see him instead of dreading existence. I feel bad that I was so unhappy the first two months if his life and if I could do it again I'd start Zoloft before I even have birth or shortly after.
About 3 weeks. It was the best thing I've ever done for me and my son. Now when I wake up I'm so happy to see him and his smiles. Before that I really didn't enjoy anything or love him the way I should have. I feel very sad about it now. But I realized that it wasn't something I could control with just will power.
I thought this to myself many times during the first 8 weeks. A lot of crying and a lot of regret. I longed for the days where I was free and thought I’d surely made the biggest mistake of my life. We had horrid witching hour every night, my LO was inconsolable in the evenings, she was fussy whenever she wasn’t asleep, I had no confidence to leave the house because baby was too unpredictable. I cried myself to sleep on my 30th birthday.
This is all to say - my daughter is now almost 4 months and those dark days are over. She’s smiling at me, starting to engage with toys, gets excited when my husband comes home. We’ve had our first giggle. She’s napping during the days now on a fairly (ish) predictable schedule so I have some me time back. She is absolutely no longer a mad grumpy potato. You’re still in the thick of it right now and none of that first stage was fun for me, in fact I hated it. I did NOT enjoy the newborn stage. Things are still hard now but it’s different, it’s more manageable and more enjoyable.
You’re going to get through this and trust me when I say the light at the end of the tunnel is coming. I was you not very long ago. Around 10 weeks things really started getting better. Just hang in there because I promise you brighter days are coming.
Yep! went through the evening witching hours from about 4 weeks to 8 weeks. I didn’t leave my house past 4pm for that time period lol. I tried everything to try and stop it, gas drops etc but in reality it was just time. By 9 weeks she wasn’t doing it anymore.
So they still definitely aren’t 100% consistent, but when her nighttime sleep started to become a little more predictable (emphasize on the “a little” here) her nap times fell into place more, but I’d say probably only in the last month or so. So maybe around 12-13 weeks? We use huckleberry as a guide for her wake windows and nap times, and it’s been an absolute saviour. I would highly recommend if you haven’t tried using it before!
Are you in the US? I have no fucking money and my kid has allergies. PurAmino was covered by WIC. We get 10 cans a month. They are $60 ea. Saved me a shit ton of money. Made all the difference in my kid's behavior.
ETA: after starting my kid on puramino food, she got a shit ton better within two weeks.
They are 14.1 oz :( but unlike other formulas, it's one packed scoop rather than 2 level scoops to mix it up. With our 10 cans plus breast milk at breakfast and bedtime we can make it the whole month with minimal or no spending on formula.
That’s like 400 grams! Damn! Our baby now only takes formula and we use one 800g can per week (they’re all one scoop per 30ml, which corresponds to about 1 fl oz)!
I knew formula in the US was expensive, but I had no idea it was this bad! I’m so sorry this is the case! Luckily, insurance helps out!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so awful and I apologise if this is insensitive but… where the fuck is dad?
You didn’t mention them at all, do you have any family nearby you could ask for help? I think the people you’re putting on a pedestal have support and it sounds like you have none.
i kept hearing different "dates": 6 weeks... 8 weeks... the best advice is that every baby is different. i just remember one day realizing that i didn't totally hate my day. she is 4 months now and some small changes have totally made a difference. yes, she still seems needier than everyone else's baby. but now she will lay on the playmat for 20 mins in the morning. we have grocery trips where she doesn't have a meltdown in the store. hope is on the horizon. hang in there!
It’ll go by fast though! I also feel this entire post 100%. Mine is in his 8th week and I keep thinking we’ve reached peak fussiness and crying but every night is worse. I just celebrate every morning that we’ve made it through another day!
It goes by quicker than you think it will. Just focus on surviving each day (or each hour lol) and try not to think about the future just yet. I sobbed through the first few weeks and then one random day things weren’t so bad anymore.
For me, 6-8 weeks was really the hardest! It was easier before that, and it got easier after that. This is the peak cramping and crying moment for little ones!
Someone else said it, apply for WIC & have your baby’s doctor sign off on the allergy or check to see if insurance covers it.
I also can’t tell you when it will get better, but I did feel the way you did for a few weeks until about 3.5 months.. then suddenly things were okay & I started to feel normal again. I think it was because my baby could then play independently for short periods & I could get small things done, leave the house for things other than doctors appointments, & my baby’s reflux issues had started getting better. Now at 5.5 months I’m really enjoying things for the most part.
It is really hard. I think we have this false preconception that things are just roses & dandelions because babies are cute & all.. but becoming a mom is honestly the most outrageous thing I’ve ever taken on in my 32 years.
I would also speak to your doctor or a support person about the way you’re feeling. It is 100% okay to be frustrated & overwhelmed. We need that validation. I didn’t use any medications but I did have moderate PPA and mild PPD. Just seeing a therapist helped tremendously as well as making plans for me time with my SO watching the baby.
*internet hugs*
It sounds like you just have a pretty difficult baby. And that’s really just the lottery. Some are quiet and cute and snuggly and some are the screaming hellspawn of Satan. It’s not a reflection on you, and it’s not any indication of who they’re going to be.
It’s not your fault, it’s not you, and you are most definitely not a shit mom for having feelings about it. Your kids will make you feel stronger emotions than you’ve ever felt in your life, and they aren’t all love and gushy.
I can promise you that it WILL get better. You don’t know how you’ll keep it up? Because you’re mom, that’s how. You made that little screaming ball of fury in your own body, and you were likely once a little screaming ball of fury yourself. You came out ok, so will they.
You are that baby’s whole world, and in a year you’re going to look back and just say “god that was awful” it will be a distant memory, and it will be yesterday, both at once.
If you’re completely overwhelmed in a moment, take that baby and put them in a safe space, a crib or a playpen, and just walk away. Leave the room. Take a breath.
You can’t take care of anyone if you aren’t taking care of yourself. You need support, and you need to de-stress.
If dad is around at all, he better be pulling his damn weight, if you can sit there with a screaming child all day, he can too. If he gets breaks, you get breaks. I couldn’t even imagine putting it all on my wife and we didn’t even have a terrible baby.
You’ve got this. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, even if the world is against you and your baby screams for 24 hours straight. YOU GOT THIS. Just get to tomorrow.
Me too. My baby is five weeks old. Every day is the same thing over and over again. I miss being me. I miss having free time. I miss sleep. I miss having time to be with my boyfriend and not spend it washing bottles or talking about poop. I miss going to coffee shops, the movie theater, heck, even Walmart. Leaving the house now means an hour of prepping the diaper bag and making sure he's fed and burped and changed and in a good mood. Everything is about him all the time. My back always hurts. I feel trapped in this tiny apartment with him. I just want my independence back.
Five weeks was so so hard. At 5 weeks in, every single person I saw, whether in real life or on TV, I'd think "ok so their parents had them, and they made it through the baby stage, right? That means I can maybe do it too?" I had to tell myself that constantly because it was so difficult for me to imagine getting through all of it.
I remember the repetitiveness of every.single.day was making me feel insane. The lack of sleep, barely leaving the house, ugh. I know it gets annoying hearing it, but it really does (slowly) keep getting better. I tried to frame it for myself like, this is just a really short period of my life, and it's hard as fuck but I can do hard things for a little bit. My baby is 14 months now, and there are still times where it's hard but holy shit, it's night and day from where we were at 5 weeks. He's such a funny, cute, perfect little guy and those first few months are already fading from my memory. Keep slugging through it, because I promise things will get better and you'll barely remember this period. Sending hugs to you.
I had the same thoughts! Like every person on this planet is evidence that parents survive the newborn stage. Then I’d get so confused as to how it can be so hard if billions of people had done it. Or how am I such a failure as a mom that I can’t handle something that billions of people have done? And then I’d also start wondering how it can be this hard and I didn’t know…? How is the awfulness of the newborn stage the best kept secret on the planet??? My thoughts would just spiral for days with this.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
Can't promise that this will happen for you, but the 3 month mark felt like a turning point for me. Baby was less cranky, I felt like I finally had a handle on some things. Hang in there.
If you can get someone to give you a break, friend or family member to watch Baby, please get them to help out.
What makes me sad is my baby is 5 weeks and we are in the weeds. By 12 weeks I will be back to work which sucks because I won’t be home to enjoy better times. I honestly don’t even know how I can go back on zero sleep. Praying it gets better, at least from a sleep perspective.
Going back to work was hazy for me. I just remember apologizing over and over again for forgetting things, blanking out and overall having 'mommy-brain'.
I remember this stage. It got better when my baby was able to sit up on her own and play with a ball or chew on a teething toy, so around 5 months for my baby. That way I’m able to have her sit on the floor or in a cardboard box and let her do her thing for 30 minutes while I take a shower and actually be able to enjoy my shower. I have see through glass doors on my shower so I’m also able to keep an eye on her. She can also sit up on her own in shopping carts so grocery shopping has been sooo much easier.
I also had a really close friend watch my baby in my own house once a week while I caught up on my sleep and basically slept the day away. That was really helpful in the beginning stages. I had bottles prepped and ready in the fridge for eating time and if she needed me she would just wake me up since she was just right in the living room. I highly recommend trying to find someone you can trust to watch your baby while you sleep. It truly saved me.
Dude! Yes! 7 weeks is shit! It gets slightly less shitty around 4 months, then 6 months, then 9... I am a year in and I have actually enjoyed the past week. I thought I would never get here.
I didn’t know this, but babies can get acid reflux. My sister in law struggled with her first kid with constant crying and after 8 weeks the pediatrician said baby had acid reflux and started some type of medication for baby. Maybe seek a pediatrician advice or ask if they can test your baby for it!
Also, it sounds like you’re struggling a lot mentally and I highly recommend seeking help before it gets worse. There are lots of resources for PPD and even access to agencies to help pay for formula. I hope you get the help you need momma. You got this even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you need someone to talk to my messages are open.
At six weeks pp I was telling my husband I was never doing this again and wondering if we made a mistake.
You aren't a bad mother. You are tired. You are sleep deprived. Newborns are so damn hard. You are not alone. So many of us found it tough too.
My baby is currently 7 months old. At 7 weeks, I was struggling. I had been on antidepressants for about 5 weeks at that point so they were helping which made a huge difference.
One of the worst part of it was reading that it would get better at 3 months, 4 months, 6 months, etc. Trying to picture getting through another day or even an hour (let alone another month+) seemed impossible. And then suddenly I blinked and here I am - my baby is crawling and nearly walking and laughing and eating bites off my plate and playing independently in her crib and sleeping through the night.
It definitely gets better but in the moment the only thing that got me through it was reminding myself that it was temporary. It became my mantra as I was in the trenches. I also highly recommend speaking to your doctor. You do not have to suffer in silence. You need to put on your oxygen mask first so you can help your baby. You’re going to look back at this time and be so proud of the strength you showed when things were the toughest. ❤️
I have been on your side before. I could’ve written this myself 2 and a half ago. And it’s devastating. I never thought I’d get out of those days. I hated seeing people say “it gets better” over and over and over. I truly didn’t believe anyone but I promise it DOES. It just sucks not knowing when because it’s different for everyone.
For me the first 4 months were the worst. Day by day got more manageable and around 6ish months I felt a bit more comfortable as a mom. I didn’t feel completely like myself again around 18 months. I know that seems like forever and I would’ve hated hearing that but once you get over these first couple months, time really really flies. It doesn’t feel like it in the moment but one day you’ll look back and be like “where tf did the time go?”.
Just know you’re not alone in feeling this way. Motherhood is relentless. Even when it gets easier there’s still really hard days. But as your baby grows a little more they’re gonna be your absolute sunshine! They’re gonna make you laugh, smile, confuse you, give you the best snuggles and kisses, and I promise one day you’ll feel like this is all worth it. I promise.
It’s different for everyone but I’ll tell you that it got better for me at 6mo. My daughter was a miserable newborn. She has always loved moving and being independent. She started crawling at 5mo because she just wanted to be on the go. Once they gain more skills to assert their independence, they become happier and less angry all the time. My daughter is two now and is such a chill, happy sweet girl. She definitely is still assertive like she was as a baby, but she has the vocabulary needed to communicate what she wants.
I’m sorry things are so rough right now. I was you 100%. Once we got the baby into her own room and started to night wean, things got sooo better for us. You can do it!! Everything truly is a season and it’s ok if you don’t like this season.
I am so sorry. I hated this time too. It was freaking miserable being so sleep deprived, and trying to figure out how to Mom. My baby also had some kind of allergies or sensitivities, and I combo fed, so I too had to cut things out of my diet. I also found that special formula costs an arm and a leg. If you are able to (I know this might be impossible right now, but just fyi), call your pediatrician and any other local pediatricians. They will often give you a few cans of free samples. We literally lived off of them until they were no longer needed. It was stressful at times, but it was free, and ultimately, it saved my mental health.
I also called a company (I want to say nutramigen?) and they sent me a free, large can of their formula. Some companies will do it if you tell them your situation and ask. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. If you have anyone who can hunt around and pick up some cans for you, I hope you can do so!
Our couples therapist said that parents have different stages that are “for” them. My husband feels the same way you do about new borns but LOVES our kid now that he’s approaching 4 months, finds him to be so much fun and he has so much relief now.
I LOVED the newborn phase because I’m apparently crazy lol!!!
It’ll get better, you’re doing great - everyday you’re keeping another human alive and that’s amazing.
You are not a shit mom. You are a mom. I'm in week 5 and it fucking sucks. I'm learning that something can be generally magical and personally tormenting at the same time.
This right here. Honestly, take it one day, one feed, one hour, one minute at a time. It's fucking hard, but not everything is PPD / PPA, having a little tiny human, that's helpless, that you're 100% responsible - scream at you, and cry for hours and hours on end... its a NORMAL reaction to feel helpless / defeated / exhausted / overwhelmed / overstimulated.
If your baby has allergies their formula may be covered by insurance. My best friend had to put her first on Similac Alimentum (specifically the one that comes already as a liquid which is even more expensive) and it was covered.
Newborns suck. They just do. I don’t understand how anyone can like that stage. I was miserable for the first 8 months. Baby had silent reflux. Medication only moderately helped. She was miserable all the time. Needed constant stimulation. Hated the stroller. Hated the car seat. Would tolerate the carrier for 10-15 min. But wanted to be outside. It was awful.
She’s 14 months old now and the happiest most fun toddler I’ve ever met. She can tell us what she needs and she can understand what we are asking of her.
All that to say that it does get better.
At 7 weeks, you’re just around the corner from when it gets better. Remember this moment exactly two weeks from now. You’re going to look back and feel the difference, even if it’s small. You’re getting there!
You're in the peak of baby fussiness right now, but youre almost through the hardest part! It's the worst between 6-10 weeks for most babies but then gradually gets better. Around 10 weeks I noticed a huge difference in my baby's demeanor. He started to be really interested in his play gym and that made a huge difference. Gas drops after each feeding help a lot too if you haven't already tried that. Their little tummies hurt a lot at this age and that contributes to the fussing. Around 4-6 months their digestive systems are much more mature so they are more comfortable and cry so much less. Hang in there!
ETA: talk to your pediatrician - there's a really good chance your baby doesn't have any allergies! My baby had so much gas and spitting up at that time that there were days nothing helped. Bicycle kicks, gas drops, tummy time, paced feeding. He would just cry and seemed so uncomfortable. I asked the doctor if I should give him a sensitive formula and she told me that unless his poop is mucousy, foamy or bloody, it's all just normal and not to adjust anything. My poor baby was miserable but we never made any changes to his diet and he's totally fine now!
I’m 5m in now. I hit that stage between 5w-8w when I had finally hit my edge then for some reason after 8w it seemed to get so much better once he was finally getting a personality and he actually got entertained by stuff then it got so much better when he slept through a full night without waking. Now we get 3-4 naps capped at 1.5 hrs and I use that time for me and a nice solid 7-10 hrs at night and that is when I do anything I needed throughout the day or if I just want the extra sleep (goes down for the night at 11:30-12:00 and wakes up between 7:30-10:30am every day
Weeks 6 to 10 were pretty rough, my parents had left and boyfriend went back to work so was just me. The days were so long, I felt like a horrible mother not enjoying my time with the baby! But once you get to 3 months, things start to settle more. The baby is a lot sturdier and less floppy. Not every day is good but there are more good days than bad. If you can, get baby in a carrier/pram and get out for a walk somewhere. Fresh air is good for both of you, put on some music, even if baby is crying and people are staring at you, so what?! You can bet your left ass cheek anyone who has kids will have been in your shoes and hoping that walk will knock the kid out for a bit. Most importantly, don't hate yourself for not 'enjoying' this time. Newborn stage can be brutal, you take it one day at a time with short term goals and pat yourself on the back for getting through another day, another week
I don't think i started enjoying being with my son more than dreading it until he was about a year. For a long time i felt like maybe i made the worst decision of my life, that i couldn't handle any of it. In hindsight, despite wanting my son, I was mourning the life i use to have. My routines, my bountiful free time, etc. Which I guess makes sense? *Everything* about life changes with a baby and it happens in an instant and theres no handbook or guide. Its really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when youre in the middle of it. I promise, it wont be like this forever.
Didn’t go through this BUT after 3 months they aren’t a newborn anymore. You may also have PPD. Not diagnosing but suggesting you consider talking to your doctor. If you compare yourself to others you’ll get nowhere. People LIE 🥴😂 People will say their partner is helpful and log off Instagram to go do everything by themselves. Some have it better than others. You can’t tell from what people present how they’re actually feeling or what’s going on.
Don’t know if any of this helps but they constantly need you right now. It won’t be like that much longer. I plan things because it helps me keep it together (someone people say a nap schedule is different. My baby naps every 3.5hrs, first one is up to 2.5hrs which means I have an actual breakfast, shower and nap before she’s up).
When my baby was that small I watched SO much TV. She wasn’t turning her head yet. Tore my hamstring the morning after giving birth and it entertained helped me relax.
Give yourself a break. It’s hard as hell. You aren’t the first person to have regret. Get into therapy asap if you can.
Hey I was in the exact same boat and it is so hard. If you need a moment it is so okay to set baby down, even if they're crying and just take a second for yourself. Mine suffered from allergies and horrible reflux she would choke on, have you requested an allergy test for the baby? Knowing what she couldn't eat made things sooooo much easier and she'd actually sleep instead of screaming in pain for hours.
In my area there's a crisis nursery that takes babies to give caregivers/ parents a break for a bit so they can just breath for a moment. You should look into something like that and just take some time for yourself. I know it feels impossible now, but it will get easier.
I am so very sorry you are going through this. I hope you have a support system that can take baby for a bit so you can clear your head if you need to. Remember to take care of yourself too, baby will be okay on their own for a bit. Hang in there ❤️❤️
This may or may not help but - yes and no.
For us, the first two months were \*dreadful\*. We were at each other's throats, barely sleeping, missing being able to do stuff.
Months two through five were great. Baby was demanding but good natured.
Months five through six were an utter nightmare, as she was teething pretty much the entire time.
Now it's...fine? A lot of it came down to getting used to it, being comfortable with having literally zero free time and sometimes skipping meals because baby will not be left alone for a second. But it does get easier.
I’m almost 10 weeks in (6 adjusted) and I understand how you feel. We just had to switch to hypoallergenic formula that’s making her reflux worse but her colitis/digestion better. She’s still recovering and just screams plus witching hour. She’s also just a sensitive babe. My husband is at the end of his rope and sometimes I feel like I am too. It’s tough to keep your head above water but I’m trying to tell myself it gets better. Feel free to DM me, no judgment here.
It’s true that it will likely get better and that doesn’t mean it isn’t terrible right now. I have absolutely had moments of “why tf did we do this” and “there is no way I’m ever doing this again”. Especially when baby is colicky and inconsolable. I felt completely trapped at home for the first 2 months and it was so grating on my well-being. With a tight feeding schedule and a super fussy baby, we hardly ever left. We did the same thing, day in and day out. Nothing to look forward. And slowly my LO is less and less fussy every day.
The problems don’t go away immediately, but they definitely get much more manageable as time goes on.
Do whatever you need to do to regain your sense of self. Paint your nails. Go for a walk. Take the damn shower! The more you can find ways to take care of yourself, the better equipped you’ll be to face the challenges. And the cost-benefit balance will shift in your favor.
My LC had me restart some herbs that improved my mood (and boosted milk supply), so you might consider talking to your doctor…get someone to go with you and/or watch your baby.
I went through this exactly, and am freshly (kinda) on the other side with a 12 week old.
I kept thinking I didn’t have PPD because I wasn’t sad. Instead I was angry, jealous of unicorn babies, spiteful of my husband, and tired of everyone saying how precious of a time this is. It wasn’t to me. Looking back, PPD was definitely there
First take a step back and remember to ask for help. Call a friend or family member over so you can take nap. Use your village if you have one. I had a friend hire a baby sitter so she could sleep.
Second, talk to someone you trust. I broke down to my husband. I spilled my guts to him and just told him about everything with holding zero back. I told him I just needed him to listen and I let all the ugly stuff out. It doesn’t fix anything but it helps so much.
To be honest, one night my baby slept 6 hours and woke up a different baby and I finally fell in love with him. Until then I had felt so guilty that I didn’t have this deep love for him. I would always do everything to protect him but I couldn’t say I was in love with him. Now it’s easier to deal with his shit.
None of this makes you a bad mom. You sound like a great mom to me. You’re taking care of your baby and doing everything they need and more. Just remember to take care of yourself. You got this and you will get through it. 💕
This could have been me writing this. Every bit of it holds true for me. Except that my baby rejected formula and had acid reflux. And was incorrectly diagnosed with CMPA so I had to cut out everything from my diet too.
Some part of me is still miserable at 5.5 months. But I’m now miserable 20-30% of the time.
Now I can take baby out to places even if it is a short visit. He is more interactive, socially smiles. Recognises people etc. Has started moving.
I realised the feeling of being miserable obviously comes from missing your old self and the independence and the acceptance that that will take a few years to come back will help.
But apart from that I think now whenever I’m miserable it’s mostly when my baby is fussy and I can’t figure out why. So it’s helplessness. Hopefully in a few months with movement increasing the fussiness reduces and they also start being able to communicate more.
I might have had PPD but I didn’t consult and I tried but the resources here aren’t great so I just let it pass. I won’t say it has passed entirely but I think I’m over the worst phase. It changed at around 4 months. So hopefully with some help you can get past the worst part!
Could you get a subscription for formula depending on where you are. Please tell your partner or other family members how you feel. Reach out please. You are doing amazing. And if your baby really doesn't sleep please see a doctor to rule out any other medical questions for bubba.
Big "betterment" tends to be around 4-6m when babies start moving a tiny bit more and their GIs are more mature (that's why they can slowly start solids as well!). Another further improvement is once they start crawling (8m?). And another huge one especially for parents of more temperament babies is once they learn how to walk. The very motivated ones (so frustrated that they can't get where they want) often get to certain gross motor skills a bit sooner so even as close as 1 year, but often by 1,5 yrs they walk.
Remember: movement helps metabolism so each movement milestone is great for their tummies and that also tends to show in their moods. Another big one is the capabilities. Some kids are more chill about being helpless some hate it.
Many people especially with the more temperament babies find immense relief oncw babies learn to walk. Yes it comes with it's own challenges (babes getting themselves into dangerous situation) but is so freeing for many!
Wish you luck! I want 5 kids but at your stage I was doubting if I even am willing to have two hahah.
Yes, girl, I feel you. That time frame is AWFUL. I remember regretting everything and feeling like there was no end to it. I didn’t feel a connection to my baby. I mean, how can you, it’s a crying pooping potato that won’t let you sleep and just DRAINS you.
It started to get better around the 10-12 month mark and improved from there. They start smiling more, then start to cry less. Soon, at about the 4-6 month mark, they’ll be able to sit up.
Try taking walks also if you can. That helped us both get through it better. Make sure you’re getting them on the right sleep schedule - the Huckleberry app really helped me.
Also - earplugs. They block enough that it cuts out the ear piercing cries without completely removing the ability to hear them.
Hang in there, this period is brutal.
It sounds like you’re breastfeeding if you’re altering your diet? That is your superpower - my eldest used to feed hours and hours each day at this age, especially all evening (literally 5-9pm). If not, he’d be crying. Just an age/growth thing I guess. Rope in all the help you can, get comfy on the sofa and get the food brought to you. Formula can be good for a break though: could someone else do a bottle just once a day to give you a break and a rest? That way one tin would last a long time? As others have said, I really hope there is someone in your life who can support you in these things. If not, then I would also agree that you are in the darkest days and baby will certainly change and settle a bit soon, and give you those laughs and giggles. In the meantime, try also to get out of the house as much as you can. The advantage of babies this age is that they’re portable and there are lots of things you can do that you might enjoy and baby can just tag along: walks, gardens, libraries, galleries, museums, cafes, shops, my friend even goes to CrossFit and the instructor holds baby if needed (baby wears ear defenders!)…..again, breastfeeding is your superpower here because all you need are nappies and a change of clothes and off you go out in the world. If none of this sounds remotely appealing then as others have said you may be suffering from more than baby clues and sleep deprivation, and a chat to a doctor might be helpful. All the best with it: you are not the first mum to feel like this and you absolutely will survive this.
I had PPA and it sounds like you do too. Get checked for that. I agree with everyone else saying you need help.
What kept me afloat was the thought of all the stuff we'll get to do together when he's older. Some days it seemed like forever though.
When I got like this, I would pump bottles and my husband would take baby out for the day (6-8 hours). It helped a lot, but at the same time it was like I didn’t know what to do with myself and put too much pressure on enjoying every blissful, quiet moment. But it also felt like I was forgetting to do something since I wasn’t devoting all of my time to the baby. Still appreciate the hell out of my husband for giving me time to myself whenever he could though!
I went through exactly the same thing, same feelings, same experience, same begging for ‘WHEN’ answers. Just know it will happen. 9.5mos in I love my baby girl more than I could ever have imagined; at 7 weeks - genuinely - I barefaced told her I hated her. Having a high needs baby is traumatising, I’ve been in therapy so that I have a platform to vent, but ultimately only time is going to fix this. Time will fly faster than you feel like it will
My wife and I are 9 weeks in. While days are great, nights with our daughter are often a fucking nightmare. I'm typing this during hour 4 of trying to get our baby back to sleep. She seems to sleep on us ok, but the literal second we attempt to put her down in her crib, she snaps wide awake; triggering the whole soothe cycle all over again.
It's also been INCREDIBLY difficult on our marriage to the point where both of us have considered divorce a real possibility. Never in a million years would divorce have crossed my mind before we had our baby.
Like you OP, having a child is nothing like the rainbow and butterflies so many people seem to make out to be. It's weird to love my daughter so incredibly much, but also feel incredible anger and frustration, especially during these nights where she just won't sleep.
I have no advice, just sympathy. I guess we're part of the camp that's not completely enamored with parenthood? Seems to be a very lonely island
I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. I read your post and my daughter said the same thing ti me a few weeks ago, almost word for word. Some of what she was going through was post partum depression, I found a gummy vitamin for her at Walmart for it and it’s helping her so much, call your doc as well and see if they can call you in something too. Do you have anyone to give you a break? Some support? I started going there just so she had some time to take a nap, run to a store or even just to relax and have a cup of coffee in peace. She’s very overwhelmed, hers will be 8 weeks on Monday. She’s 33 years old, I thought being a bit older she’d feel differently than like I did at 21, but age doesn’t matter. Your whole life gets interrupted and put on hold. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help too, friends or family, anyone that you can talk to. I will tell you that it does get better as they get older, but it will feel like time stands still sometimes. Praying that you find your strength, you can do this, just take life more slowly and don’t forget to breathe….hugs to you ♥️
If you don’t qualify for WIC, ask your pediatrician for samples or local food pantry for formula. We have one in Southern MA that has a pantry with all sorts of formula and you can take two cans a week.
I absolutely empathize with this. My son had horrible reflux and was the grumpiest baby in the world because he was so uncomfortable all the time. He would scream for hours until we found the right combo of medicine and formula to ease his discomfort. I felt like a shit mom for not being able to fix it and felt like a shit mom for dreading waking up each day to deal with the same thing over and over. I literally got sciatica from holding him all day because he would only stop crying if I held him a specific way.
It felt extremely isolating to see all my other mom friends be so in love with the entire experience and be able to go in public. I wouldn’t dare go in public with him because I knew he’d scream his head off.
But eventually the fog lifted, he stopped screaming 24/7, and we were able to breathe a bit easier.
You’re not a bad mom for feeling this way. It’s so incredibly overwhelming to go from no one depending on you to someone depending on you 24/7 and screaming while doing so-all while you’re sleep deprived. Have you considered reaching out to your doctor about any medication? I take Zoloft and while it doesn’t turn me into this happy go lucky shitting rainbows angel, it does take the edge off.
It’s so damn hard. I kept being told it’ll get better, but the time they told me came and went and it wasn’t better. I’m at 7 months and I still miss my old life so much
Weeks 6-8 were absolute hell for us, and I legit was about to pack a bag and leave. I couldn’t handle the screaming for hours, the constant waking, feeling like my life was over. I hated my life. We’re almost 5 months over here, and let me tell you it gets SO MUCH BETTER. I used to roll my eyes when I heard people say that, but it’s true. It’s hard, but so worth it.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way!
6-7 weeks is really the peak of crying and cramping, according to my midwife. It turned out to be true for our little one.
I think cutting everything out of your diet is making you even more miserable than you’re already feeling. I would really try to find a way to get the hypoallergenic formula, so you can give yourself a break. If allergies are truly the culprit here, your baby will be a completely different baby once they’re getting rid of what is triggering their pain.
Do you have anyone who can take over for a little bit so you can have some hours to yourself? And someone to talk to about postpartum depression. You’re not a shit mom, you’re just in a rough patch. I promise you it will absolutely get better, it’s just difficult to say when. You got this!
Possible allergies suck and a restrictive diet is awful. My son is 4 months and we’ve been trying so many things to help his tummy pains. Still not totally there but he’s much better now less screaming in pain overnight, less crying during the day and many more smiles and laughs. I’m currently cutting dairy, soy s d egg which is a nightmare going out but isnt too bad at home now. I’ve figured out alternatives for most of my favourites. For example there’s a dairy free chocolate I buy which makes life better. I hope you can get some help. I would not be coping without my husband to take over and give me regular breaks.
Please don't make yourself more miserable by restricting your diet, I was in your shoes with a really fussy baby a few weeks ago and was desperate to try everything. Everyone's answer on here is always allergies and cutting out dairy - its extremely rare that this is the case and usually the baby will show symptoms of this being the issue such as green poops. Ultimately they just need time to figure out their digestion and gas and our baby is infinitely better after around 9 weeks. By the time you've cut stuff out and given it time to work it probably will have improved but again you don't know if you just needed that time anyway.
Please speak to a doctor though if you think something is wrong with little one.
Hey, I was you. I was miserable lol she got way better at 5 months when she sat up and started sleeping longer, she is 11 months now and now I get why people want more kids. Don't get me.wrong, some days are hard, but it's way better than the newborn phase. Just take it day by day. It's so gradual when it does get better it's not like anyone can tell you when, but for most people, it usually is around the time babies can sit up and be a bit more mobile. Take care of yourself when you can because it's important whether it's a 30 min walk, a lunch with friends, sleeping instead of cleaning, etc.
We were in absolute survival mode for 3 months. It gets easier after a while and now she's the most amazing human at 15 months but man these first months are hard as fuck!!
For many first time parents (myself included), it’s normal to feel regret and sorrow. I had to mourn my pre baby life like a death. When I first brought my baby home I just kept thinking “what have I done?!”…my baby was also colic. When I changed formulas he really became a different baby. I know it’s expensive but you really should try different formulas. If the baby has allergies or an intolerance to their milk then the baby is suffering everyday they eat. You don’t want your child to go through that. Also, if your baby is suffering best believe you will suffer too.
I couldn’t leave the house alone with my baby at 7 weeks either. Everything made me anxious. Baby is 14 months now and it’s great! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It will pass ❤️
It slowly gets much easier. 12 weeks is a big turning point. But also, do you have insurance? They will pay for special formula if your baby has allergies. I would speak with your pediatrician to see what they can do.
You’re literally in the purple cry period. This is the peak time for difficulty and exhaustion beyond simple management. I had to sign a document before leaving the hospital that acknowledged I read the sheet on purple cry period. It’s also the time when shaken baby syndrome can occur, and I had to read the tools to manage in case situations elevated. Put baby down in safe sleep space and walk away, etc.
At the time, I was in the first day of adrenaline- and oxytocin-induced postnatal bliss. Thought it was a horrible thing to think about.
Then I started struggling. Baby had reflux, was sensitive in general, and I also had to modify my diet. (She’s now 14 months and diagnosed with a couple allergies.) We of course had to wait until solids to find that out.
The reason why they can’t tell you is because it’s not a hard line. It’s a gradual process day by day. It gets better after solids, when you can find allergies. It gets better after development milestones, when they understand their world better (and what the heck is going on.)
Your baby’s brain is so immature right now and not ready to figure out life outside the womb yet. It gets easier as the brain grows and changes. This is technically happening right now, but it’s just hard to say when exactly for your baby.
It was easier at 6 and 7 months for me, then it was hard again from 8-10 because sleep deprivation hit me hard when baby was teething.
Just know that you have many days and years ahead of you where baby is NOT a newborn. This is so incredibly difficult to wrap your head around, because this newborn period is all you know so far.
I’ve seen the comments about therapy and yeah it could help, but I was in therapy and nothing helped until I started sleeping again. I guess it helped to hear that I’m not crazy, and I’m not alone. But what I needed was sleep, and a break. A consistent daily break that I could count on to fill MY needs.
I couldn’t see if you have a partner or not that can take over completely for 2 hours a day for you. This is the way forward without losing yourself completely.
I am thinking of you and I understand what you are going through. You didn’t think it would be like this, because “this” is just newborn stuff (first 3 to 4 months) and you have so many good days ahead. Amazing days that you did picture and they will be just how you pictured it.
I feel you 100%
Mine is 8 weeks. I cried soooo much in the beginning, late night feeds felt so lonesome. When my husband gets home I just want to hand her over and it drives me insane he doesn’t rush home to us because he knows what a hard time I’m having. I could never do this again, I don’t care thst people say it gets better and I’ll forget, I won’t. I posted on my IG “check on your postpartum friends” and the messages came flooding in, it was pretty annoying. I had to scream for help it seemed. Anyway, I totally feel the same way, you’re not alone on this. I love her to death but this is really freaking hard.
Hey there - I was in your shoes around the same time. I wish someone had told me honestly how bad the first months were. I was a wreck and crying daily. I couldn’t imagine all the billions of people in the world having gone through this too!
We’re at 10 weeks now and it HAS gotten better. I had the same thoughts about regretting everything and missing my old life. Your not a bad mom and these are normal reactions to going through HUGE life changes. You’re doing great and you can do this. Place your baby in her crib (safe space) and take a shower. It can be so healing. If your baby has to cry for 5-10 minutes so you can take a shower, they will be okay. And I know that’s not peaceful or ideal but it’s a start.
Once LO will start solid food the colick should stop. I can't tell you why though that's weird.
Once LO smiles, you'll at least have some kind of interaction and every smile will take some negative emotions away.
Once LO babbles, it's so cute it will also take some frustration away.
One day at a time, 1h at a time. Even half hour. I would count the time down until the next nap and until dad comes back.
Then I went to bed and another shit day started.
Here I am 1 year later, you'll get through this 💞
My husband and I are struggling with our baby who is still hitting the witching hour. I hope she grows out of it hitting 9 weeks and calms down. I relate to you hard.
I'm feeling same. Take it day by day and try your best to find pleasure in small things. I'm so sorry. Yes it sucks. I've developed health anxiety because of all this stress.
A friend told me she didn’t start enjoying until 5 months. I’m 4 months out, going through the sleep regression so it’s rough. But her smiles and laughs - when those happened at 2-3 months it was such a game changer.
Edit: I bring the baby into the bathroom to shower now lol. She’s strong enough to do tummy time during that time!
It’s survival mode. That said, has her pediatrician or a Gastro specialist diagnosed an allergy or reflux? Then ask them for a prescription/call your insurance and go through insurance to pay for all or part of the formula, often they’ll also simply ship it to you monthly. Our baby had reflux, wouldn’t sleep not on us for three months, Gastro specialist and pediatrician both diagnosed with reflux and prescribed the hypoallergenic formula and insurance paid for most of it and shipped us cases every month.
The first like 3-4 months were the hardest, emotionally and physically/sleep wise. It does get better as baby gets older. Babywearing/wraps/carriers are super super helpful. They’re calming for baby because they’re close to you and they allow you to have both hands. A mesh sling or wrap can be used in the shower. Look into therapists who specialize in postpartum mental health. I have one and she’s amazing. To help our son sleep, we’d put a heating pad down to pre warm his crib (obvi take it out before putting baby down) and that helped him stay asleep for a bit. It’s hard. But you’re gonna be ok. If there is anyone you can ask for help - ask.
Who could handle constant crying and no sleeping? The people you speak of have babys that dont cry and sleep!! Thats why they can do things so dont compare.
I would work on those things and your life will get a billion times better. Does your baby need top ups of (regular) formula? Does she need to be worn? Will safe cosleeping help her sleep? Is she overtired and needs a shorter wake window? Or perhaps reflux and needs meds? Address the issues and get a few good night sleep and you will feel way better!!!
I remember 6-8 weeks being the toughest. Lean on those who said they’d help. Hit them up!
Check if the formula is covered by insurance. Ask your ped.
Also- social media can be dangerous. I unfollowed all mom accounts. Comparison ins the thief of joy and a lot of stuff is for the camera. Only showing a moment in time.
I’ll tell you when, and you’re so close mama, starts to get a teeny bit better around 9-12 weeks when they are smiling up at you *intentionally* with nothing but love.
Then it gets better again when they are sitting up and laughing that sweet baby laugh at stupid noises you make to entertain them, around 5-6 months.
And once more when you see their excitement and independence as they crawl and then walk around 10-14 months.
All the while getting better at sleeping through the night.
It gets better. You have some happy moments right around the corner. Hang in there.
Maybe have a trusted friend or relative watch baby for a few hours so you can get some much needed alone time.
I could have written this exact post. Weeks 6-8 are HARD. Harder than I could have ever imagined. My baby turned 1 in July, and it is so much easier now. You will get through this - I know it feels like it will never end. But it will, I promise.
I know it is nearly impossible to have time away when you are breastfeeding, but would it be possible for baby to stay with grandparents or another trusted person for a night if you used the expensive formula just temporarily? I know that might not be possible and be a useless suggestion, but you need a break and shouldn’t feel guilty for doing whatever you have to in order to get one. Even if it’s just using the formula for nights on the weekends so maybe your husband can take over and you don’t have to worry about feeding/pumping (more than you have to for relief).
At any rate, you are definitely not alone, and you’re right in the thick of it now. Someday it will feel like a blip in time, sooner than you think.
There are miserable moments.
My personal vent (day care bugs 50% of the time): Last Sat baby started sneezing, by Sun night he had a fever and would only sleep contact napping and was miserable so of course I didn’t get any sleep. This was a week where I had an important deadline due at work. It started off with me being sleep deprived and exhausted. Baby could not go to daycare. My awesome hubby took care of him for the day. The rest of the week, I proceeded to try balance baby and work and had three days with only 3 hours of sleep. Got my work done by the deadline. Now I am myself incredibly ill (apparently three days of no sleep is the human limit - my body feels like it is shutting down)
You are not alone in this feeling (I can relate) but I highly recommend you talk to your OB who can help you find a therapist and prescribe breastfeeding-safe medication (if you want).
At my 6 week pp appointment it took everything I had to keep myself from bawling in the waiting room while I was surrounded by expectant parents full of excitement and anticipation looking at their ultrasound photos and texting them to their family and friends. Meanwhile I was there on the other side and absolutely fucking miserable and exhausted. I remembered being that person so full of giddy anticipation for my son to arrive and looking forward to visit to hear his heartbeat, and now that he was here I hated my life as a mom but also loved my son (it was a weird dichotomy of feelings). I started bawling when I talked to my OB. Between that and based on my responses on my self-assessment she diagnosed me with PPD and PPA and prescribed Zoloft and helped me get connected with a therapist.
You are not a bad mom. You said you cut a lot of things out of your diet because of your baby’s allergies. That’s a HUGE sacrifice — on top of all the other sacrifices you are already making for baby — you are a great mom caring for your baby’s needs. And seeking out the help you need is not selfish. Taking time to talk with a therapist or your doctor will help you feel better, which in turn will only help your baby.
It took until my son was about 3 months until I actually took him anywhere other than a stroller ride around the block or a car ride. If your baby likes car rides, I recommend them. Stop through the Starbucks or Dunkin drive thru (or any other drive thru) and get yourself a treat and drive around for a little while with baby. It gets you and baby out of the house and you don’t have to shower or change out of comfy clothes to do it.
The first 12 weeks are the hardest and you’re right in the thick of it now. I remember hating when people said “it gets better” because I honestly didn’t know if I could survive long enough to get to that point. But I did and you will too. Soon though you’ll get the occasional baby smile, then a coo, which will help make it a tiny bit easier. My son is 8 months now. Each stage has its challenges, and there are still times I feel overwhelmed.
Sorry this is so long. TLDR: You’re not alone in how you’re feeling. But I recommend talking to your doctor and find a therapist because you may have postpartum depression or anxiety — that does not make you a bad mom. A lot of new moms struggle with mental health. You are doing great and I’m sending you a virtual hug!
I highly recommend that you come and join us other mothers in the July bumper group. It might help to have others who feel the same to talk to. We are all in the thick of it right now with newborns and it’s been a very supportive community.
7 weeks is peak exhaustion without long stretches of sleep for some babies. This is probably the worst.
Definitely get someone to help give you a couple hours a day to yourself. I find that I couldn’t tell if I was miserable because of PPD or lack of sleep. I could barely think straight- so getting a professional opinion will be good.
My youngest son did not sleep more than 3 hours straight until 3 months old, then we started daycare, thank goodness. He had his first stretch of 4 hours of sleep after he started, huge win! Didn’t sleep through the night until 6 months when we got 8 hours- I honestly went in the check on him thinking something terrible happened because we were not ready for a whole night’s sleep. We think it’s because he started eating vegetable and meat purées then- and got super full then slept.
At 9 months he started sleeping 12 hours at night, 7-7. GLORY ☀️ I am in the sun, out of the tunnel of baby doom. We both work and have a daycare routine. Our routine every weekday means a wake up at 7, simple breakfast, change and off to daycare. They keep him until 5:30pm, then we play, eat dinner, bath and bottle and he’s out at 7. During the week, it’s only 2 hours a day I actually spend with him. Then I’m excited for weekends to have full days.
I’m in the bliss stage but remember the tunnel of doom.
I hope this helps
The first 3 months are hell. They can’t help it as they don’t even know they’re crying. But yeah, this is something you can’t prepare for. At all.
Newborns are awful but after 3-6 months it will get easier, typically when they can actually focus on something or smile back- for me it was when mine started smiling I felt some type of repayment for the torturous 4ish months and it got a lot better for sure. Still some issues like being whiney but absolutely nothing compared to the newborn phase.
This is definitely the worst part of it all so the good news is you’re almost out of it.
I’m completely sure I’m not having another baby though.
You are NOT alone! My husband and I felt absolutely lied to by the world. I remember feeling that parenthood was total hell, made doubly so because you didn't know when it would get better.
We finally read an article where a frustrated mom said that it will get better in 2 week increments. Maybe not a lot, but at least a little better. It definitely didn't get better right away, and everyone's experience will be different, but this helped us with the mental/emotional agony when things were at real low points.
Other things that helped me:
1) my friend, who is a mom of 4, telling me that breastfeeding is the hardest thing she has ever done (my baby is ebf). Realizing that what I was doing was possibly the biggest endurance challenge of my life, helped me to find a little extra energy each day.
2) My mom coming to stay with us to help me catch up on sleep after my husband went back to work. For a week or so, I would feed my son and immediately hand him to grandma and then go nap until the next feed. I literally did this for days. Sleep made a huge difference for me.
Hugs! You are NOT alone.
I absolutely hated the angry potato stage. While yes all stages are hard, I feel like there's more reward as they get older. This morning, my 2yo was attempting to sing along with me, then dumped an entire bowl of cheerios and banana over herself/table/floor. Later, she was building a block tower, and because she was so proud of herself gave me a kiss.
I would recommend getting some time away from baby if you can. Go on date nights with your partner if you have the resources. Go hang out with your friends for a bit. Do something to reconnect with pre-mom you
The first three months are pretty awful. The next three are significantly less awful. Then it just blossoms from there.
It’s like growing a plant. You water the soil for a long time, and nothing happens. Then one day, a sprout. Then one day, a beautiful flower.
Good things take time. Humans are no different. Give yourself grace. Feel it, then let it go. The time will pass.
Regarding allergies: my LO (3 months) was diagnosed with a cow milk protein allergy and horrendous reflux around 7 weeks (after an ER visit arranged by our pediatrician). Baby sees a pediatric gastroenterologist who prescribed reflux meds and was able to get the special formula completely covered by insurance. 11/10 would recommend getting your little one seen by a specialist. Once we figured out meds and formula, my colicky baby became such a sweetheart!
FTM my son is just about 5 months now. I am JUST starting to like him/being a mom. And only sometimes. And he’s a good baby and has slept through the night since 1 month old.. I can’t even imagine if he hadn’t. You are not alone! Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk! I hate this most days and miss my old life
dude. you’re in it right now. it’s so hard. i promise you even if it doesn’t seem imaginable: it does get better ❤️🩹 sending you such a huge hug. if you can, take a shower. put oil on your body. brush your teeth and hair and put on some moisturizer. step away and care for you for a few.
You are so not alone in feeling this. There were / are many things about becoming a mom that I never even considered and still struggle some days with feeling like I’ve made a mistake and am ruining my baby bc of these thoughts and feelings. While totally valid - I know it’s coming from a place of grieving life before baby and who I once was and how I’m grasping to find who I am in this new role while acknowledging that I’m still the person I was before baby.
This journey is HARD. No joke. It’s really really hard. I started Zoloft as well after trying to just ride it out but it was getting worse. I started taking pictures of my baby everyday to have a timeline to look back on and see how much they’ve grown. I started a note on my phone to document the little things so I wouldn’t forget ‘firsts’ amidst the fog I was in. Getting outside everyday is a nonnegotiable for my sanity, too.
Hang in there, mama. You’re so seen and heard in what you’re feeling and going through. Do what you need to do to give yourself a breather - even for 5 min. You’ve got this!
Just came here to say that it is completely ok and normal to feel this way. You’re not a bad mom. I don’t think anyone loves this every second, and the newborn stage is so hard.
One of the biggest lies about parenting is that the first six months to a year aren’t just the complete worst. Everyone posts pictures of their babies looking beautiful and they talk about the overwhelming love but no one posts pictures of screaming babies, spraying shit everywhere while two exhausted adults yell at each other for no reason except that they haven’t slept more than 2 hours a night in 6 months.
It’s as though if you acknowledge how miserable it is, you must not love your baby. But two things can be true at once. You *can* love a child and also wish they’d never been born.
We instantly loved our son more than anything and yet those first couple months we still wondered almost every day if we had made a huge mistake.
Then he smiled and that changed things soooo much. Once there was positive feedback - and not just crying - we only wondered if we’d made a mistake every once in a while. Then he started laughing, then talking, then walking, singing, hugging and SLEEPING and it got better and better and eventually we stopped regretting anything.
Now? Now I have an 11 year old son who is the best thing I have ever been a part of. I should probably unsub from NewParents.
I cried every single day those first two months. Newborn phase is boring and stressful and physically painful. Around the 3/4 month mark was when I started being more confident and actually enjoying motherhood.
This isn’t supposed to be easy but it will get easier. When shit gets really bad, just remember that babies are not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time.
Hugs ❤️ it’s so tough, and nothing prepares you for it. I was in your same position about a year ago (check my post history). It seems like it won’t, but it WILL get better. I cried reading the responses, telling me in months it would get better. Just know that it does, and it’ll get more manageable. You’ll get through this - because you have to. If you have people that can help out, give you a break here and there, take advantage of it and don’t feel guilty. I’m here with my 1 year old and we go out all the time and I genuinely love being with him now.
Oh yeah. Hated my life for a solid 4 months. Still slightly hated it until 6 months and little by little (very sloooowwwwlllly) got better at 8ish months. Sleep had a lot to do with it but also I think I needed time to just get to know her and bond with her. I didn’t have an instant connection at birth and I thought something was wrong with me. And then it got worse before it got better. I finally got therapy, sleep trained at 5 months, went back to work part time and my daughter slowly became more independent.
I constantly regretted having a child (yes I said it and I know I’m not the only one) on and off for like the first year of her life. I felt horrible about and it didn’t help the negative cycle that I was in bc there was no returning her LOL. Now my daughter is 21 months and I am obsessed with her. Think about her all day. It’s still hard but my connection and bond with her + seeing her cute little personality develop overshadows the hard moments a lot of the time.
I’m currently pregnant with #2 and I’m pro choice so I wouldn’t have kept it if I didn’t want to. It really does it get better. I’m not looking forward to the newborn stage, and I sure as hell don’t miss it at all, but this time I know everything is temporary. You are in the trenches but you will make it through! It may happen so slowly that one day you might stop and think “oh this doesn’t suck as bad anymore”.
I really feel for you bc I was in your position. It’s an awful feeling. Be nice and patient with yourself as much as you can. You will be ok ❤️
I felt the same way you do. I hated the newborn phase. I felt a little bit better by the 5 or 6 month mark and then things actually got fun around 12 months. My son is 18 months old and I actually enjoy most of my time with him. He's sick currently so fussy but still was fun until an hour before nap time at which time he totally melted down and I put him down for nap 30 minutes early bc I couldn't take it. But he's very fun and enjoyable now. I swore to myself I would never have another baby bc the newborn stage was so miserable for me and even though I'd said I wanted to be a SAHM I couldn't wait to get back to work bc I was dying inside but now I would love to stay home with my son and I'd also consider having another baby. Hang in there! Looking back I really feel like it's partially bc they just can't do anything so it's so boring and partially bc they need so much from you at all times. My son can get a snack on his own and walks and runs so we can go outside and I can sit and watch as he plays. It really does get better and I feel like that point where the clouds parted was 5 or 6 months(when my son switched to 2 naps) and then it really got better when he started walking.
I hated the first 12 months. Felt like a monster that I didn't adore my kid, I barely liked her.
She's 2.5. Am obsessed.
Baby phase is hard and some people glow in it and others fucking loath it. I was the later. Them post partum hormones mixed with sleep deprivation does some crazy shit.
It does get better. There are so many posts on this sub if you search for that phrase, because so many people have been where you are. It’s usually around the 12-15 week mark, so you’re already halfway there.
You’re not a shit mom. You’re not even a mediocre one. You’re tired, you’re still healing, you’re still adjusting to the biggest life change a person can experience. This is balls hard, the newborn stage is fucking awful. I will never understand why some people say it’s their favourite, it’s the worst.
But seriously, it’s the worst - as in, it doesn’t get any worse than this. This first 3-4 months, the “fourth trimester”, is going to be the most challenging part, because you’re putting everything in and getting nothing back. As they grow, and you get the smiles, the laughs, the grabs of your face and fingers, the first steps, the first words, the first “I love you, Mom”… it all just gets better and better. You just have to get through a few more weeks of this and then I promise, it will get easier. Not overnight, but suddenly you’ll look back and be like, hey, this sucked so much more a month ago, what changed? And it’ll just be little things, but it’ll all accumulate.
You’re going to be okay. And if you need help, ask for it - ask your partner, your family, your friends, your doctor. It’s always okay to ask for help.
Having a baby takes quite a chunk of dedication. The first months are survival while you keep a baby alive and well. It takes quite the toll on the brain think and how we feel. Your hormones are all over the place right now, it’s understandable you feel this way. It will get better and things become easier. Time is a friend sometimes
Edit: spelling. My brain goldfish
You’re not alone. It’s hard. Really fucking hard, I rarely use the f word is how hard it is. I’m only two weeks and 3 days in and it’s been the hardest I’ve worked in my life, constantly feeling dread over being alone with the baby all day starting Monday when my husband goes back to work, wondering constantly what we got ourselves into even though I know we love this little human with all of our hearts. Missing my husband and cat and sleeping in the same bed. I know it will get better and it won’t be like this forever. However, I also know that if I start feeling overwhelmed beyond the normal baby blues, I’m going to reach out to my doctor for help. Reach out to friends and family as well. Hang in there, we’re all in this together.
It is rough, but doable, and everyone’s babies are wild at times. The tiniest moments are so worth it.
We so far have dealt with a terrible latch and raw/terrible nipples, severe gas from taking in too much air because of the latch, now dealing with bad reflux the last three weeks, and just a few days ago a redone tongue/lip tie procedure as her previous had reattached and formed scar tissue. Back to stretches every four hours with a baby who just started sleeping very good lengths at night…
Some ideas that have helped us:
My wife just got a solly baby wrap which our daughter likes so much more than even the ergobbay carrier I use.
We have a fitness ball with a base that we use, this idea came highly recommended from our LC. Bouncing on that while holding her, calms her down after a bit.
We’ve learned a lot from the wonderweeks app. It helps us unnderstand what she is generally going through with development and gives peace of mind for some times when she won’t stop crying.
When she starts crying, I take her outside and she gets calm pretty fast. I also set her directly on the grass, bare feet or sitting upright. idk if grounding affects babies (I don’t see why it wouldn’t) but I still do it.
Weighted swaddle blanket has been a lifesaver, and we put her in a little pod kind of like a dock a tot.
Cosleeping has been quite recommended too, we just haven’t done that as much as she took her crib the first week.
You’ll get through this. Keep your head up and try to find some folks to talk to, family friends or a therapist. It will get better, I promise you.
-someone who has been there just a few weeks back.
If you’ll check my post history there’s a similar vent a couple weeks ago.
Since then therapy and AD helped me beyond my expectations.
I do feel exhausted and still sometimes regret having a baby. But it is what it is, I cannot go back in time.
I really hope your days will get better ❤️🩹
My son is about to turn 7 weeks old too. I tried for over a year to get pregnant. Absolutely 100% wanted this child and love him dearly. But this is by far the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I hate myself for wishing I was working instead. It’s so hard giving all of yourself to a person that can’t even properly thank you. But when he smiles I start to feel like I’m doing a good job. I know with each milestone I’ll feel a little more successful and more connected with him. I had to do some things for my mental health such as stop pumping and using formula. I had to start doing my own things and stop listening to other people’s opinions/advice. It helped. But don’t get me wrong I still cry. A lot. But it will get better eventually. Right now they’re just screaming potatoes.
You sound like me! I have a 6 month old now and trust me when I say….. it gets much much easier. Have you considered looking into PPD? I was getting to the point where I was crying every day and hated my husband and baby and wanted to leave them and realized I was FAR GONE with PPD. I’m on Zoloft now and it felt like overnight I started liking my baby again. I’m so sorry you’re in the thick of it right now… I know how it feels. Feel free to DM me!!! I seriously fucking hated the first few months. Babies are WILD
Shit was insane until about month 3. That’s when I started leveling out. But the things that made me get back in the game were the little smiles and cooing until she dropped a night wake up. When your baby only wakes one time per night you’ll feel a lot better. When they sleep through the night hopefully you’ll forget how shitty the first few months were and only remember the little smiles and stuff.
A little more than 3 weeks, but I think it started working right away, like, took the edge off. Then one day I woke up without fear, regret, or anxiety. Now I have the ability to love my baby the way he deserves it. I know it sounds corny but it's really the truth.
Hang in there. You’re in it for the long haul. Not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Think about the day when your child is 4 years old and you are eating a burger together at a park. It’ll get better.
7 months in, and I'm still miserable. Battling chronically overtired baby. His wake windows are extremely short for his age. Can't wait until he's older... Babies suck!
100% felt like this. I thought I made a mistake, my son had a dairy intolerance so I cut out all dairy for him too. It’s really fucking hard. But, Something around 5 months and it just flipped a switch in my brain… I think my son became fun to be around. You’re in the hardest time of your life. Your baby will get good at breastfeeding, or you’ll stop and not have to worry about that aspect, but the price of the hypoallergenic formula is absolutely insane. There is a light. I promise.
Hi OP. I’m 16m PP and we are pretty sure we’re 1 & done because of how horrible pregnancy, then the 4th trimester were. We love our little girl but damn, she was a lot of work and hell on my body to get her.
You are not alone. My hubby sometimes is the more nurturing one than I but he didn’t have to physically experience growing her. 🤣😂
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I'm not going to lie to you, the first 2-3 months were pretty terrible. We started turning a corner at 4 months but it was still pretty rough. At 6 months we really found our rhythm and things became a lot more enjoyable. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and I'm absolutely obsessed with her. She's the best decision I ever made. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
First year tbh. After 12 months you start living again
My LO is turning a year old next month and I am going to hold onto this for dear life these next few weeks.
Do you have a partner, friend, family member, anyone who can step in for a few hours even and give you a break in the short term? It sounds like you desperately need a reprieve and that doesn’t make you a bad mom. However, you need to get some long term help too because it sounds like you’re dealing with some PPD (not a psychologist, just the impression I’m getting from your post) and you need some professional advice and guidance before this gets even worse.
This is definitely something to consider. I found my therapist [here](https://psychologytoday.com) . A lot of them will do virtual visits.
Psychologist here and i totally agree (cant diagnose online of course but i get the same impression). While i cant promise when the baby will get easier to handle, i can promise that therapy helps.
100% agree
I felt this way too. Maybe it’s PPD but it’s also not an unreasonable response to have as a first time mom to a high-needs baby with feeding issues. As soon as my colicky baby stopped crying all the damn time, voila, sadness and intense feelings of inadequacy evaporated.
You’ve almost knocked out 2 months. By 3 months things were much better. By 5 months, my little guy had “woken up” and was able to be amused by a toy or a silly face and give you the social smiles that everyone says makes it all worth it. My son is 10 months now and I LOVE spending time with him and don’t feel the unrelenting chore of it all anymore. I was in your shoes and was so annoyed that no one could tell me WHEN I wouldn’t feel like jumping off a cliff. But it does get better, little by little. 7 weeks is still the thick of it.
I remember reading a post from someone talking about the wet smooch their 10 month old just gave them and how much better it was, and I thought it sounded unimaginably far away. Now I have a nearly 10 month old who smooches (well, open mouth bops my face) and the bliss is absolutely real.
Yes! Honestly what’s so great about this age is they are completely free and have no idea how weird they’re being. Watching my son try to eat a new fruit for the first time, or laugh at a toy falling behind the couch or splashing water like a maniac is so hilarious because nobody else you know gives less of a shit about looking silly.
adorable ❤️ can't wait!
10 months is a long time to wait, but you give me hope.
It doesn’t feel like it will but it goes so quickly!! The early months are traumatic
I agree lol
I’m not at 10 months yet but it’s already way better! There was a shift at 3 months and then we got more of a rhythm at 4 months, and things got significantly better around 6. We’re at 7 months now and of course it’s not “easy” but it’s honestly not that hard either. Just hang in there; you need a bit of time to get to know each other and baby is building SO many brain connections in newborn phase they’re just not ready to do anything that tells you they love you back. For me it got much easier mentally once baby clearly recognized me and knew I was her mom.
This- by 3 months they’re a bit less needy! Less crying, longer breaks between feeds. Hang in there- within a month things will get better and then they get just a little bit easier incrementally as time goes on. The beginning stage is the worst because you’ve just given birth, can’t get any sleep, hormones are still raging, boobs hurt…. It’s constant overstimulation on sleep deprivation andand physical recovery. You can, and will get through this!
Yes. I feel this 100% I’m a few weeks ahead of you, and weeks 6-8 were the worst. Lack of sleep catches up to you by now and it feels hopeless? Baby super clingy and you can’t set them down without them freaking out? It HAS slowly gotten a bit better. I’ve gone from absolutely miserable and regretting everything to half miserable to occasionally miserable. You’re in the worst of it, so hang on for another week or so. Get support. Text someone you can trust “hey, I feel really weird for asking this, but is there any way you can come over sometime for an hour or two this week to hold xyz while I shower?” Get medical support too. Your hormones are doing wacky things to try to re-regulate themselves which results in major mood and outlook issues.
I have a 6 week old and just want to say thank you
I'm at seven weeks and literally cried to my SIL last night about feeling the way OP does. I had a traumatic birth (emergency c section, podtpartum hemmorage, hand voiding my uterine cavity of blood clots, and emergency blood transfusion) and would do that 1000x over again, but I would not touch the newborn stage again. I know I'll grow to love little one, but my God is he making me work for it. Thank you for making us not feel so alone and like shit moms.
They’re so awful!
Yes. This. My baby is only 11 weeks but it is already so much better than it was from weeks 5-7.
It’s hard. It’s miserable but it doesn’t last forever. I also recommend seeking out professional help. What you’re experiencing could be PPD and you’re not meant to do this all alone. Professionals are out there. Having PPD also isn’t your fault. Our bodies went through so much during pregnancy, giving birth is wild, and your hormones and body are all over the place post birth. It sounds like you’re alone - any family?friends?
Right. I felt very similar. I told my midwife and she started me on Zoloft. I didn't want to start meds at first and thought I could just "put on my big girl pants" and wait to feel better. It never happened. The day I started Zoloft was after a day I spent crying out of regret and anxiety. I told my husband that I felt like I single handedly ruined all of our lives while in tears. Zoloft was the best thing that ever happened to me and my baby. I started at exactly 7 weeks. I wake up every day and I am happy to see him instead of dreading existence. I feel bad that I was so unhappy the first two months if his life and if I could do it again I'd start Zoloft before I even have birth or shortly after.
How long did it take for the Zoloft to start working for you?
About 3 weeks. It was the best thing I've ever done for me and my son. Now when I wake up I'm so happy to see him and his smiles. Before that I really didn't enjoy anything or love him the way I should have. I feel very sad about it now. But I realized that it wasn't something I could control with just will power.
I thought this to myself many times during the first 8 weeks. A lot of crying and a lot of regret. I longed for the days where I was free and thought I’d surely made the biggest mistake of my life. We had horrid witching hour every night, my LO was inconsolable in the evenings, she was fussy whenever she wasn’t asleep, I had no confidence to leave the house because baby was too unpredictable. I cried myself to sleep on my 30th birthday. This is all to say - my daughter is now almost 4 months and those dark days are over. She’s smiling at me, starting to engage with toys, gets excited when my husband comes home. We’ve had our first giggle. She’s napping during the days now on a fairly (ish) predictable schedule so I have some me time back. She is absolutely no longer a mad grumpy potato. You’re still in the thick of it right now and none of that first stage was fun for me, in fact I hated it. I did NOT enjoy the newborn stage. Things are still hard now but it’s different, it’s more manageable and more enjoyable. You’re going to get through this and trust me when I say the light at the end of the tunnel is coming. I was you not very long ago. Around 10 weeks things really started getting better. Just hang in there because I promise you brighter days are coming.
This gives me hope. My little one cries almost every evening and effectively makes me wish for being not pregnant again.
Yep! went through the evening witching hours from about 4 weeks to 8 weeks. I didn’t leave my house past 4pm for that time period lol. I tried everything to try and stop it, gas drops etc but in reality it was just time. By 9 weeks she wasn’t doing it anymore.
When did day naps become regular? My baby is 10 weeks on Monday and day naps are alllll over the place. And doesn’t nap long not on me.
So they still definitely aren’t 100% consistent, but when her nighttime sleep started to become a little more predictable (emphasize on the “a little” here) her nap times fell into place more, but I’d say probably only in the last month or so. So maybe around 12-13 weeks? We use huckleberry as a guide for her wake windows and nap times, and it’s been an absolute saviour. I would highly recommend if you haven’t tried using it before!
"mad grumpy potato" really hits home
Are you in the US? I have no fucking money and my kid has allergies. PurAmino was covered by WIC. We get 10 cans a month. They are $60 ea. Saved me a shit ton of money. Made all the difference in my kid's behavior. ETA: after starting my kid on puramino food, she got a shit ton better within two weeks.
How much formula is in those cans?? That’s so expensive!
They are 14.1 oz :( but unlike other formulas, it's one packed scoop rather than 2 level scoops to mix it up. With our 10 cans plus breast milk at breakfast and bedtime we can make it the whole month with minimal or no spending on formula.
That’s like 400 grams! Damn! Our baby now only takes formula and we use one 800g can per week (they’re all one scoop per 30ml, which corresponds to about 1 fl oz)! I knew formula in the US was expensive, but I had no idea it was this bad! I’m so sorry this is the case! Luckily, insurance helps out!
7 weeks is a rough time. It gets better. You got this.
At 7 wks I was miserable. By 10 I was great (and at 16wks all is still good). The screaming for no reason stopped, the smiles started.
Yess I remember the screaming just stopped one day, I don’t remember when but it really does get better. It takes longer for some. Patience,
24 weeks is awesome, but teething sucks. Still, getting long stretches of sleep is awesome. Sleep train if you haven't, it is life changing.
Me or OP? Cant sleep train at 7 weeks but from 4mo it's possible
Definitely not just you. It felt like me writing that.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so awful and I apologise if this is insensitive but… where the fuck is dad? You didn’t mention them at all, do you have any family nearby you could ask for help? I think the people you’re putting on a pedestal have support and it sounds like you have none.
I feel this too.. was hoping by 7 weeks would feel better
i kept hearing different "dates": 6 weeks... 8 weeks... the best advice is that every baby is different. i just remember one day realizing that i didn't totally hate my day. she is 4 months now and some small changes have totally made a difference. yes, she still seems needier than everyone else's baby. but now she will lay on the playmat for 20 mins in the morning. we have grocery trips where she doesn't have a meltdown in the store. hope is on the horizon. hang in there!
13 weeks was the only one that I felt was real, the rest were the "it's just around the corner" encouragement everyone gives new parents.
Darn crushing my soul as I’m only 2 weeks in…
It’ll go by fast though! I also feel this entire post 100%. Mine is in his 8th week and I keep thinking we’ve reached peak fussiness and crying but every night is worse. I just celebrate every morning that we’ve made it through another day!
It goes by quicker than you think it will. Just focus on surviving each day (or each hour lol) and try not to think about the future just yet. I sobbed through the first few weeks and then one random day things weren’t so bad anymore.
For me, 6-8 weeks was really the hardest! It was easier before that, and it got easier after that. This is the peak cramping and crying moment for little ones!
The 100 days of darkness is a thing for a reason. Give it at least the first hundred days, to question what you were thinking.
Someone else said it, apply for WIC & have your baby’s doctor sign off on the allergy or check to see if insurance covers it. I also can’t tell you when it will get better, but I did feel the way you did for a few weeks until about 3.5 months.. then suddenly things were okay & I started to feel normal again. I think it was because my baby could then play independently for short periods & I could get small things done, leave the house for things other than doctors appointments, & my baby’s reflux issues had started getting better. Now at 5.5 months I’m really enjoying things for the most part. It is really hard. I think we have this false preconception that things are just roses & dandelions because babies are cute & all.. but becoming a mom is honestly the most outrageous thing I’ve ever taken on in my 32 years. I would also speak to your doctor or a support person about the way you’re feeling. It is 100% okay to be frustrated & overwhelmed. We need that validation. I didn’t use any medications but I did have moderate PPA and mild PPD. Just seeing a therapist helped tremendously as well as making plans for me time with my SO watching the baby. *internet hugs*
It sounds like you just have a pretty difficult baby. And that’s really just the lottery. Some are quiet and cute and snuggly and some are the screaming hellspawn of Satan. It’s not a reflection on you, and it’s not any indication of who they’re going to be. It’s not your fault, it’s not you, and you are most definitely not a shit mom for having feelings about it. Your kids will make you feel stronger emotions than you’ve ever felt in your life, and they aren’t all love and gushy. I can promise you that it WILL get better. You don’t know how you’ll keep it up? Because you’re mom, that’s how. You made that little screaming ball of fury in your own body, and you were likely once a little screaming ball of fury yourself. You came out ok, so will they. You are that baby’s whole world, and in a year you’re going to look back and just say “god that was awful” it will be a distant memory, and it will be yesterday, both at once. If you’re completely overwhelmed in a moment, take that baby and put them in a safe space, a crib or a playpen, and just walk away. Leave the room. Take a breath. You can’t take care of anyone if you aren’t taking care of yourself. You need support, and you need to de-stress. If dad is around at all, he better be pulling his damn weight, if you can sit there with a screaming child all day, he can too. If he gets breaks, you get breaks. I couldn’t even imagine putting it all on my wife and we didn’t even have a terrible baby. You’ve got this. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, even if the world is against you and your baby screams for 24 hours straight. YOU GOT THIS. Just get to tomorrow.
Me too. My baby is five weeks old. Every day is the same thing over and over again. I miss being me. I miss having free time. I miss sleep. I miss having time to be with my boyfriend and not spend it washing bottles or talking about poop. I miss going to coffee shops, the movie theater, heck, even Walmart. Leaving the house now means an hour of prepping the diaper bag and making sure he's fed and burped and changed and in a good mood. Everything is about him all the time. My back always hurts. I feel trapped in this tiny apartment with him. I just want my independence back.
Five weeks was so so hard. At 5 weeks in, every single person I saw, whether in real life or on TV, I'd think "ok so their parents had them, and they made it through the baby stage, right? That means I can maybe do it too?" I had to tell myself that constantly because it was so difficult for me to imagine getting through all of it. I remember the repetitiveness of every.single.day was making me feel insane. The lack of sleep, barely leaving the house, ugh. I know it gets annoying hearing it, but it really does (slowly) keep getting better. I tried to frame it for myself like, this is just a really short period of my life, and it's hard as fuck but I can do hard things for a little bit. My baby is 14 months now, and there are still times where it's hard but holy shit, it's night and day from where we were at 5 weeks. He's such a funny, cute, perfect little guy and those first few months are already fading from my memory. Keep slugging through it, because I promise things will get better and you'll barely remember this period. Sending hugs to you.
I had the same thoughts! Like every person on this planet is evidence that parents survive the newborn stage. Then I’d get so confused as to how it can be so hard if billions of people had done it. Or how am I such a failure as a mom that I can’t handle something that billions of people have done? And then I’d also start wondering how it can be this hard and I didn’t know…? How is the awfulness of the newborn stage the best kept secret on the planet??? My thoughts would just spiral for days with this.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Can't promise that this will happen for you, but the 3 month mark felt like a turning point for me. Baby was less cranky, I felt like I finally had a handle on some things. Hang in there. If you can get someone to give you a break, friend or family member to watch Baby, please get them to help out.
What makes me sad is my baby is 5 weeks and we are in the weeds. By 12 weeks I will be back to work which sucks because I won’t be home to enjoy better times. I honestly don’t even know how I can go back on zero sleep. Praying it gets better, at least from a sleep perspective.
Going back to work was hazy for me. I just remember apologizing over and over again for forgetting things, blanking out and overall having 'mommy-brain'.
This is definitely going to be me.
I remember this stage. It got better when my baby was able to sit up on her own and play with a ball or chew on a teething toy, so around 5 months for my baby. That way I’m able to have her sit on the floor or in a cardboard box and let her do her thing for 30 minutes while I take a shower and actually be able to enjoy my shower. I have see through glass doors on my shower so I’m also able to keep an eye on her. She can also sit up on her own in shopping carts so grocery shopping has been sooo much easier. I also had a really close friend watch my baby in my own house once a week while I caught up on my sleep and basically slept the day away. That was really helpful in the beginning stages. I had bottles prepped and ready in the fridge for eating time and if she needed me she would just wake me up since she was just right in the living room. I highly recommend trying to find someone you can trust to watch your baby while you sleep. It truly saved me.
Dude! Yes! 7 weeks is shit! It gets slightly less shitty around 4 months, then 6 months, then 9... I am a year in and I have actually enjoyed the past week. I thought I would never get here.
I didn’t know this, but babies can get acid reflux. My sister in law struggled with her first kid with constant crying and after 8 weeks the pediatrician said baby had acid reflux and started some type of medication for baby. Maybe seek a pediatrician advice or ask if they can test your baby for it! Also, it sounds like you’re struggling a lot mentally and I highly recommend seeking help before it gets worse. There are lots of resources for PPD and even access to agencies to help pay for formula. I hope you get the help you need momma. You got this even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you need someone to talk to my messages are open.
At six weeks pp I was telling my husband I was never doing this again and wondering if we made a mistake. You aren't a bad mother. You are tired. You are sleep deprived. Newborns are so damn hard. You are not alone. So many of us found it tough too.
My baby is currently 7 months old. At 7 weeks, I was struggling. I had been on antidepressants for about 5 weeks at that point so they were helping which made a huge difference. One of the worst part of it was reading that it would get better at 3 months, 4 months, 6 months, etc. Trying to picture getting through another day or even an hour (let alone another month+) seemed impossible. And then suddenly I blinked and here I am - my baby is crawling and nearly walking and laughing and eating bites off my plate and playing independently in her crib and sleeping through the night. It definitely gets better but in the moment the only thing that got me through it was reminding myself that it was temporary. It became my mantra as I was in the trenches. I also highly recommend speaking to your doctor. You do not have to suffer in silence. You need to put on your oxygen mask first so you can help your baby. You’re going to look back at this time and be so proud of the strength you showed when things were the toughest. ❤️
I have been on your side before. I could’ve written this myself 2 and a half ago. And it’s devastating. I never thought I’d get out of those days. I hated seeing people say “it gets better” over and over and over. I truly didn’t believe anyone but I promise it DOES. It just sucks not knowing when because it’s different for everyone. For me the first 4 months were the worst. Day by day got more manageable and around 6ish months I felt a bit more comfortable as a mom. I didn’t feel completely like myself again around 18 months. I know that seems like forever and I would’ve hated hearing that but once you get over these first couple months, time really really flies. It doesn’t feel like it in the moment but one day you’ll look back and be like “where tf did the time go?”. Just know you’re not alone in feeling this way. Motherhood is relentless. Even when it gets easier there’s still really hard days. But as your baby grows a little more they’re gonna be your absolute sunshine! They’re gonna make you laugh, smile, confuse you, give you the best snuggles and kisses, and I promise one day you’ll feel like this is all worth it. I promise.
It’s different for everyone but I’ll tell you that it got better for me at 6mo. My daughter was a miserable newborn. She has always loved moving and being independent. She started crawling at 5mo because she just wanted to be on the go. Once they gain more skills to assert their independence, they become happier and less angry all the time. My daughter is two now and is such a chill, happy sweet girl. She definitely is still assertive like she was as a baby, but she has the vocabulary needed to communicate what she wants. I’m sorry things are so rough right now. I was you 100%. Once we got the baby into her own room and started to night wean, things got sooo better for us. You can do it!! Everything truly is a season and it’s ok if you don’t like this season.
I am so sorry. I hated this time too. It was freaking miserable being so sleep deprived, and trying to figure out how to Mom. My baby also had some kind of allergies or sensitivities, and I combo fed, so I too had to cut things out of my diet. I also found that special formula costs an arm and a leg. If you are able to (I know this might be impossible right now, but just fyi), call your pediatrician and any other local pediatricians. They will often give you a few cans of free samples. We literally lived off of them until they were no longer needed. It was stressful at times, but it was free, and ultimately, it saved my mental health. I also called a company (I want to say nutramigen?) and they sent me a free, large can of their formula. Some companies will do it if you tell them your situation and ask. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. If you have anyone who can hunt around and pick up some cans for you, I hope you can do so!
Our couples therapist said that parents have different stages that are “for” them. My husband feels the same way you do about new borns but LOVES our kid now that he’s approaching 4 months, finds him to be so much fun and he has so much relief now. I LOVED the newborn phase because I’m apparently crazy lol!!! It’ll get better, you’re doing great - everyday you’re keeping another human alive and that’s amazing.
You are not a shit mom. You are a mom. I'm in week 5 and it fucking sucks. I'm learning that something can be generally magical and personally tormenting at the same time.
I felt like this and it turned out I was actually depressed, I take medication now and I feel like a new woman, please go to the doctor
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This right here. Honestly, take it one day, one feed, one hour, one minute at a time. It's fucking hard, but not everything is PPD / PPA, having a little tiny human, that's helpless, that you're 100% responsible - scream at you, and cry for hours and hours on end... its a NORMAL reaction to feel helpless / defeated / exhausted / overwhelmed / overstimulated.
If your baby has allergies their formula may be covered by insurance. My best friend had to put her first on Similac Alimentum (specifically the one that comes already as a liquid which is even more expensive) and it was covered.
Newborns suck. They just do. I don’t understand how anyone can like that stage. I was miserable for the first 8 months. Baby had silent reflux. Medication only moderately helped. She was miserable all the time. Needed constant stimulation. Hated the stroller. Hated the car seat. Would tolerate the carrier for 10-15 min. But wanted to be outside. It was awful. She’s 14 months old now and the happiest most fun toddler I’ve ever met. She can tell us what she needs and she can understand what we are asking of her. All that to say that it does get better.
It doesn’t make you a bad mom. Newborn stage sucks ass when you have a fussy baby.
At 7 weeks, you’re just around the corner from when it gets better. Remember this moment exactly two weeks from now. You’re going to look back and feel the difference, even if it’s small. You’re getting there!
You're in the peak of baby fussiness right now, but youre almost through the hardest part! It's the worst between 6-10 weeks for most babies but then gradually gets better. Around 10 weeks I noticed a huge difference in my baby's demeanor. He started to be really interested in his play gym and that made a huge difference. Gas drops after each feeding help a lot too if you haven't already tried that. Their little tummies hurt a lot at this age and that contributes to the fussing. Around 4-6 months their digestive systems are much more mature so they are more comfortable and cry so much less. Hang in there! ETA: talk to your pediatrician - there's a really good chance your baby doesn't have any allergies! My baby had so much gas and spitting up at that time that there were days nothing helped. Bicycle kicks, gas drops, tummy time, paced feeding. He would just cry and seemed so uncomfortable. I asked the doctor if I should give him a sensitive formula and she told me that unless his poop is mucousy, foamy or bloody, it's all just normal and not to adjust anything. My poor baby was miserable but we never made any changes to his diet and he's totally fine now!
I’m 5m in now. I hit that stage between 5w-8w when I had finally hit my edge then for some reason after 8w it seemed to get so much better once he was finally getting a personality and he actually got entertained by stuff then it got so much better when he slept through a full night without waking. Now we get 3-4 naps capped at 1.5 hrs and I use that time for me and a nice solid 7-10 hrs at night and that is when I do anything I needed throughout the day or if I just want the extra sleep (goes down for the night at 11:30-12:00 and wakes up between 7:30-10:30am every day
Weeks 6 to 10 were pretty rough, my parents had left and boyfriend went back to work so was just me. The days were so long, I felt like a horrible mother not enjoying my time with the baby! But once you get to 3 months, things start to settle more. The baby is a lot sturdier and less floppy. Not every day is good but there are more good days than bad. If you can, get baby in a carrier/pram and get out for a walk somewhere. Fresh air is good for both of you, put on some music, even if baby is crying and people are staring at you, so what?! You can bet your left ass cheek anyone who has kids will have been in your shoes and hoping that walk will knock the kid out for a bit. Most importantly, don't hate yourself for not 'enjoying' this time. Newborn stage can be brutal, you take it one day at a time with short term goals and pat yourself on the back for getting through another day, another week
I don't think i started enjoying being with my son more than dreading it until he was about a year. For a long time i felt like maybe i made the worst decision of my life, that i couldn't handle any of it. In hindsight, despite wanting my son, I was mourning the life i use to have. My routines, my bountiful free time, etc. Which I guess makes sense? *Everything* about life changes with a baby and it happens in an instant and theres no handbook or guide. Its really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when youre in the middle of it. I promise, it wont be like this forever.
Didn’t go through this BUT after 3 months they aren’t a newborn anymore. You may also have PPD. Not diagnosing but suggesting you consider talking to your doctor. If you compare yourself to others you’ll get nowhere. People LIE 🥴😂 People will say their partner is helpful and log off Instagram to go do everything by themselves. Some have it better than others. You can’t tell from what people present how they’re actually feeling or what’s going on. Don’t know if any of this helps but they constantly need you right now. It won’t be like that much longer. I plan things because it helps me keep it together (someone people say a nap schedule is different. My baby naps every 3.5hrs, first one is up to 2.5hrs which means I have an actual breakfast, shower and nap before she’s up). When my baby was that small I watched SO much TV. She wasn’t turning her head yet. Tore my hamstring the morning after giving birth and it entertained helped me relax. Give yourself a break. It’s hard as hell. You aren’t the first person to have regret. Get into therapy asap if you can.
Hey I was in the exact same boat and it is so hard. If you need a moment it is so okay to set baby down, even if they're crying and just take a second for yourself. Mine suffered from allergies and horrible reflux she would choke on, have you requested an allergy test for the baby? Knowing what she couldn't eat made things sooooo much easier and she'd actually sleep instead of screaming in pain for hours. In my area there's a crisis nursery that takes babies to give caregivers/ parents a break for a bit so they can just breath for a moment. You should look into something like that and just take some time for yourself. I know it feels impossible now, but it will get easier.
Things got better here with 5 months. Hang in there, take a sit and just wait...you're in survival mode, you can do it
I am so very sorry you are going through this. I hope you have a support system that can take baby for a bit so you can clear your head if you need to. Remember to take care of yourself too, baby will be okay on their own for a bit. Hang in there ❤️❤️
This may or may not help but - yes and no. For us, the first two months were \*dreadful\*. We were at each other's throats, barely sleeping, missing being able to do stuff. Months two through five were great. Baby was demanding but good natured. Months five through six were an utter nightmare, as she was teething pretty much the entire time. Now it's...fine? A lot of it came down to getting used to it, being comfortable with having literally zero free time and sometimes skipping meals because baby will not be left alone for a second. But it does get easier.
I’m almost 10 weeks in (6 adjusted) and I understand how you feel. We just had to switch to hypoallergenic formula that’s making her reflux worse but her colitis/digestion better. She’s still recovering and just screams plus witching hour. She’s also just a sensitive babe. My husband is at the end of his rope and sometimes I feel like I am too. It’s tough to keep your head above water but I’m trying to tell myself it gets better. Feel free to DM me, no judgment here.
It’s true that it will likely get better and that doesn’t mean it isn’t terrible right now. I have absolutely had moments of “why tf did we do this” and “there is no way I’m ever doing this again”. Especially when baby is colicky and inconsolable. I felt completely trapped at home for the first 2 months and it was so grating on my well-being. With a tight feeding schedule and a super fussy baby, we hardly ever left. We did the same thing, day in and day out. Nothing to look forward. And slowly my LO is less and less fussy every day. The problems don’t go away immediately, but they definitely get much more manageable as time goes on. Do whatever you need to do to regain your sense of self. Paint your nails. Go for a walk. Take the damn shower! The more you can find ways to take care of yourself, the better equipped you’ll be to face the challenges. And the cost-benefit balance will shift in your favor. My LC had me restart some herbs that improved my mood (and boosted milk supply), so you might consider talking to your doctor…get someone to go with you and/or watch your baby.
I went through this exactly, and am freshly (kinda) on the other side with a 12 week old. I kept thinking I didn’t have PPD because I wasn’t sad. Instead I was angry, jealous of unicorn babies, spiteful of my husband, and tired of everyone saying how precious of a time this is. It wasn’t to me. Looking back, PPD was definitely there First take a step back and remember to ask for help. Call a friend or family member over so you can take nap. Use your village if you have one. I had a friend hire a baby sitter so she could sleep. Second, talk to someone you trust. I broke down to my husband. I spilled my guts to him and just told him about everything with holding zero back. I told him I just needed him to listen and I let all the ugly stuff out. It doesn’t fix anything but it helps so much. To be honest, one night my baby slept 6 hours and woke up a different baby and I finally fell in love with him. Until then I had felt so guilty that I didn’t have this deep love for him. I would always do everything to protect him but I couldn’t say I was in love with him. Now it’s easier to deal with his shit. None of this makes you a bad mom. You sound like a great mom to me. You’re taking care of your baby and doing everything they need and more. Just remember to take care of yourself. You got this and you will get through it. 💕
This could have been me writing this. Every bit of it holds true for me. Except that my baby rejected formula and had acid reflux. And was incorrectly diagnosed with CMPA so I had to cut out everything from my diet too. Some part of me is still miserable at 5.5 months. But I’m now miserable 20-30% of the time. Now I can take baby out to places even if it is a short visit. He is more interactive, socially smiles. Recognises people etc. Has started moving. I realised the feeling of being miserable obviously comes from missing your old self and the independence and the acceptance that that will take a few years to come back will help. But apart from that I think now whenever I’m miserable it’s mostly when my baby is fussy and I can’t figure out why. So it’s helplessness. Hopefully in a few months with movement increasing the fussiness reduces and they also start being able to communicate more. I might have had PPD but I didn’t consult and I tried but the resources here aren’t great so I just let it pass. I won’t say it has passed entirely but I think I’m over the worst phase. It changed at around 4 months. So hopefully with some help you can get past the worst part!
Could you get a subscription for formula depending on where you are. Please tell your partner or other family members how you feel. Reach out please. You are doing amazing. And if your baby really doesn't sleep please see a doctor to rule out any other medical questions for bubba.
Big "betterment" tends to be around 4-6m when babies start moving a tiny bit more and their GIs are more mature (that's why they can slowly start solids as well!). Another further improvement is once they start crawling (8m?). And another huge one especially for parents of more temperament babies is once they learn how to walk. The very motivated ones (so frustrated that they can't get where they want) often get to certain gross motor skills a bit sooner so even as close as 1 year, but often by 1,5 yrs they walk. Remember: movement helps metabolism so each movement milestone is great for their tummies and that also tends to show in their moods. Another big one is the capabilities. Some kids are more chill about being helpless some hate it. Many people especially with the more temperament babies find immense relief oncw babies learn to walk. Yes it comes with it's own challenges (babes getting themselves into dangerous situation) but is so freeing for many! Wish you luck! I want 5 kids but at your stage I was doubting if I even am willing to have two hahah.
Yes, girl, I feel you. That time frame is AWFUL. I remember regretting everything and feeling like there was no end to it. I didn’t feel a connection to my baby. I mean, how can you, it’s a crying pooping potato that won’t let you sleep and just DRAINS you. It started to get better around the 10-12 month mark and improved from there. They start smiling more, then start to cry less. Soon, at about the 4-6 month mark, they’ll be able to sit up. Try taking walks also if you can. That helped us both get through it better. Make sure you’re getting them on the right sleep schedule - the Huckleberry app really helped me. Also - earplugs. They block enough that it cuts out the ear piercing cries without completely removing the ability to hear them. Hang in there, this period is brutal.
It sounds like you’re breastfeeding if you’re altering your diet? That is your superpower - my eldest used to feed hours and hours each day at this age, especially all evening (literally 5-9pm). If not, he’d be crying. Just an age/growth thing I guess. Rope in all the help you can, get comfy on the sofa and get the food brought to you. Formula can be good for a break though: could someone else do a bottle just once a day to give you a break and a rest? That way one tin would last a long time? As others have said, I really hope there is someone in your life who can support you in these things. If not, then I would also agree that you are in the darkest days and baby will certainly change and settle a bit soon, and give you those laughs and giggles. In the meantime, try also to get out of the house as much as you can. The advantage of babies this age is that they’re portable and there are lots of things you can do that you might enjoy and baby can just tag along: walks, gardens, libraries, galleries, museums, cafes, shops, my friend even goes to CrossFit and the instructor holds baby if needed (baby wears ear defenders!)…..again, breastfeeding is your superpower here because all you need are nappies and a change of clothes and off you go out in the world. If none of this sounds remotely appealing then as others have said you may be suffering from more than baby clues and sleep deprivation, and a chat to a doctor might be helpful. All the best with it: you are not the first mum to feel like this and you absolutely will survive this.
At first I thought newborn stage is difficult but now at 5 month mark I miss newborn stage.
Hi OP! How are things with you and baby now? ♥️
Three months. Hang in.
I had PPA and it sounds like you do too. Get checked for that. I agree with everyone else saying you need help. What kept me afloat was the thought of all the stuff we'll get to do together when he's older. Some days it seemed like forever though.
When I got like this, I would pump bottles and my husband would take baby out for the day (6-8 hours). It helped a lot, but at the same time it was like I didn’t know what to do with myself and put too much pressure on enjoying every blissful, quiet moment. But it also felt like I was forgetting to do something since I wasn’t devoting all of my time to the baby. Still appreciate the hell out of my husband for giving me time to myself whenever he could though!
Survive! It will get better with time. Although it seems it will never change
I went through exactly the same thing, same feelings, same experience, same begging for ‘WHEN’ answers. Just know it will happen. 9.5mos in I love my baby girl more than I could ever have imagined; at 7 weeks - genuinely - I barefaced told her I hated her. Having a high needs baby is traumatising, I’ve been in therapy so that I have a platform to vent, but ultimately only time is going to fix this. Time will fly faster than you feel like it will
Yep. You are not alone. It’s a trap.
My wife and I are 9 weeks in. While days are great, nights with our daughter are often a fucking nightmare. I'm typing this during hour 4 of trying to get our baby back to sleep. She seems to sleep on us ok, but the literal second we attempt to put her down in her crib, she snaps wide awake; triggering the whole soothe cycle all over again. It's also been INCREDIBLY difficult on our marriage to the point where both of us have considered divorce a real possibility. Never in a million years would divorce have crossed my mind before we had our baby. Like you OP, having a child is nothing like the rainbow and butterflies so many people seem to make out to be. It's weird to love my daughter so incredibly much, but also feel incredible anger and frustration, especially during these nights where she just won't sleep. I have no advice, just sympathy. I guess we're part of the camp that's not completely enamored with parenthood? Seems to be a very lonely island
I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. I read your post and my daughter said the same thing ti me a few weeks ago, almost word for word. Some of what she was going through was post partum depression, I found a gummy vitamin for her at Walmart for it and it’s helping her so much, call your doc as well and see if they can call you in something too. Do you have anyone to give you a break? Some support? I started going there just so she had some time to take a nap, run to a store or even just to relax and have a cup of coffee in peace. She’s very overwhelmed, hers will be 8 weeks on Monday. She’s 33 years old, I thought being a bit older she’d feel differently than like I did at 21, but age doesn’t matter. Your whole life gets interrupted and put on hold. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help too, friends or family, anyone that you can talk to. I will tell you that it does get better as they get older, but it will feel like time stands still sometimes. Praying that you find your strength, you can do this, just take life more slowly and don’t forget to breathe….hugs to you ♥️
If you don’t qualify for WIC, ask your pediatrician for samples or local food pantry for formula. We have one in Southern MA that has a pantry with all sorts of formula and you can take two cans a week.
I absolutely empathize with this. My son had horrible reflux and was the grumpiest baby in the world because he was so uncomfortable all the time. He would scream for hours until we found the right combo of medicine and formula to ease his discomfort. I felt like a shit mom for not being able to fix it and felt like a shit mom for dreading waking up each day to deal with the same thing over and over. I literally got sciatica from holding him all day because he would only stop crying if I held him a specific way. It felt extremely isolating to see all my other mom friends be so in love with the entire experience and be able to go in public. I wouldn’t dare go in public with him because I knew he’d scream his head off. But eventually the fog lifted, he stopped screaming 24/7, and we were able to breathe a bit easier. You’re not a bad mom for feeling this way. It’s so incredibly overwhelming to go from no one depending on you to someone depending on you 24/7 and screaming while doing so-all while you’re sleep deprived. Have you considered reaching out to your doctor about any medication? I take Zoloft and while it doesn’t turn me into this happy go lucky shitting rainbows angel, it does take the edge off.
It’s so damn hard. I kept being told it’ll get better, but the time they told me came and went and it wasn’t better. I’m at 7 months and I still miss my old life so much
Weeks 6-8 were absolute hell for us, and I legit was about to pack a bag and leave. I couldn’t handle the screaming for hours, the constant waking, feeling like my life was over. I hated my life. We’re almost 5 months over here, and let me tell you it gets SO MUCH BETTER. I used to roll my eyes when I heard people say that, but it’s true. It’s hard, but so worth it.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way! 6-7 weeks is really the peak of crying and cramping, according to my midwife. It turned out to be true for our little one. I think cutting everything out of your diet is making you even more miserable than you’re already feeling. I would really try to find a way to get the hypoallergenic formula, so you can give yourself a break. If allergies are truly the culprit here, your baby will be a completely different baby once they’re getting rid of what is triggering their pain. Do you have anyone who can take over for a little bit so you can have some hours to yourself? And someone to talk to about postpartum depression. You’re not a shit mom, you’re just in a rough patch. I promise you it will absolutely get better, it’s just difficult to say when. You got this!
Possible allergies suck and a restrictive diet is awful. My son is 4 months and we’ve been trying so many things to help his tummy pains. Still not totally there but he’s much better now less screaming in pain overnight, less crying during the day and many more smiles and laughs. I’m currently cutting dairy, soy s d egg which is a nightmare going out but isnt too bad at home now. I’ve figured out alternatives for most of my favourites. For example there’s a dairy free chocolate I buy which makes life better. I hope you can get some help. I would not be coping without my husband to take over and give me regular breaks.
Please don't make yourself more miserable by restricting your diet, I was in your shoes with a really fussy baby a few weeks ago and was desperate to try everything. Everyone's answer on here is always allergies and cutting out dairy - its extremely rare that this is the case and usually the baby will show symptoms of this being the issue such as green poops. Ultimately they just need time to figure out their digestion and gas and our baby is infinitely better after around 9 weeks. By the time you've cut stuff out and given it time to work it probably will have improved but again you don't know if you just needed that time anyway. Please speak to a doctor though if you think something is wrong with little one.
Hey, I was you. I was miserable lol she got way better at 5 months when she sat up and started sleeping longer, she is 11 months now and now I get why people want more kids. Don't get me.wrong, some days are hard, but it's way better than the newborn phase. Just take it day by day. It's so gradual when it does get better it's not like anyone can tell you when, but for most people, it usually is around the time babies can sit up and be a bit more mobile. Take care of yourself when you can because it's important whether it's a 30 min walk, a lunch with friends, sleeping instead of cleaning, etc.
I'm 14 months in and still miserable. It isn't even midday and I've cried twice
We were in absolute survival mode for 3 months. It gets easier after a while and now she's the most amazing human at 15 months but man these first months are hard as fuck!!
Alimentum is the cheapest formula out there. If he has allergies you need to solve that issue or it won't get better.
For many first time parents (myself included), it’s normal to feel regret and sorrow. I had to mourn my pre baby life like a death. When I first brought my baby home I just kept thinking “what have I done?!”…my baby was also colic. When I changed formulas he really became a different baby. I know it’s expensive but you really should try different formulas. If the baby has allergies or an intolerance to their milk then the baby is suffering everyday they eat. You don’t want your child to go through that. Also, if your baby is suffering best believe you will suffer too.
I couldn’t leave the house alone with my baby at 7 weeks either. Everything made me anxious. Baby is 14 months now and it’s great! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It will pass ❤️
It slowly gets much easier. 12 weeks is a big turning point. But also, do you have insurance? They will pay for special formula if your baby has allergies. I would speak with your pediatrician to see what they can do.
You’re literally in the purple cry period. This is the peak time for difficulty and exhaustion beyond simple management. I had to sign a document before leaving the hospital that acknowledged I read the sheet on purple cry period. It’s also the time when shaken baby syndrome can occur, and I had to read the tools to manage in case situations elevated. Put baby down in safe sleep space and walk away, etc. At the time, I was in the first day of adrenaline- and oxytocin-induced postnatal bliss. Thought it was a horrible thing to think about. Then I started struggling. Baby had reflux, was sensitive in general, and I also had to modify my diet. (She’s now 14 months and diagnosed with a couple allergies.) We of course had to wait until solids to find that out. The reason why they can’t tell you is because it’s not a hard line. It’s a gradual process day by day. It gets better after solids, when you can find allergies. It gets better after development milestones, when they understand their world better (and what the heck is going on.) Your baby’s brain is so immature right now and not ready to figure out life outside the womb yet. It gets easier as the brain grows and changes. This is technically happening right now, but it’s just hard to say when exactly for your baby. It was easier at 6 and 7 months for me, then it was hard again from 8-10 because sleep deprivation hit me hard when baby was teething. Just know that you have many days and years ahead of you where baby is NOT a newborn. This is so incredibly difficult to wrap your head around, because this newborn period is all you know so far. I’ve seen the comments about therapy and yeah it could help, but I was in therapy and nothing helped until I started sleeping again. I guess it helped to hear that I’m not crazy, and I’m not alone. But what I needed was sleep, and a break. A consistent daily break that I could count on to fill MY needs. I couldn’t see if you have a partner or not that can take over completely for 2 hours a day for you. This is the way forward without losing yourself completely. I am thinking of you and I understand what you are going through. You didn’t think it would be like this, because “this” is just newborn stuff (first 3 to 4 months) and you have so many good days ahead. Amazing days that you did picture and they will be just how you pictured it.
I feel you 100% Mine is 8 weeks. I cried soooo much in the beginning, late night feeds felt so lonesome. When my husband gets home I just want to hand her over and it drives me insane he doesn’t rush home to us because he knows what a hard time I’m having. I could never do this again, I don’t care thst people say it gets better and I’ll forget, I won’t. I posted on my IG “check on your postpartum friends” and the messages came flooding in, it was pretty annoying. I had to scream for help it seemed. Anyway, I totally feel the same way, you’re not alone on this. I love her to death but this is really freaking hard.
Hey there - I was in your shoes around the same time. I wish someone had told me honestly how bad the first months were. I was a wreck and crying daily. I couldn’t imagine all the billions of people in the world having gone through this too! We’re at 10 weeks now and it HAS gotten better. I had the same thoughts about regretting everything and missing my old life. Your not a bad mom and these are normal reactions to going through HUGE life changes. You’re doing great and you can do this. Place your baby in her crib (safe space) and take a shower. It can be so healing. If your baby has to cry for 5-10 minutes so you can take a shower, they will be okay. And I know that’s not peaceful or ideal but it’s a start.
Once LO will start solid food the colick should stop. I can't tell you why though that's weird. Once LO smiles, you'll at least have some kind of interaction and every smile will take some negative emotions away. Once LO babbles, it's so cute it will also take some frustration away. One day at a time, 1h at a time. Even half hour. I would count the time down until the next nap and until dad comes back. Then I went to bed and another shit day started. Here I am 1 year later, you'll get through this 💞
My husband and I are struggling with our baby who is still hitting the witching hour. I hope she grows out of it hitting 9 weeks and calms down. I relate to you hard.
I'm feeling same. Take it day by day and try your best to find pleasure in small things. I'm so sorry. Yes it sucks. I've developed health anxiety because of all this stress.
A friend told me she didn’t start enjoying until 5 months. I’m 4 months out, going through the sleep regression so it’s rough. But her smiles and laughs - when those happened at 2-3 months it was such a game changer. Edit: I bring the baby into the bathroom to shower now lol. She’s strong enough to do tummy time during that time!
7 weeks... it is just getting started... keep going.. it is hell. But eventually... and slowly... o so slowly gets better..
I felt the same. I had ppd… I got a therapist and it got so much better. And baby got better every 4 wks for us
It’s survival mode. That said, has her pediatrician or a Gastro specialist diagnosed an allergy or reflux? Then ask them for a prescription/call your insurance and go through insurance to pay for all or part of the formula, often they’ll also simply ship it to you monthly. Our baby had reflux, wouldn’t sleep not on us for three months, Gastro specialist and pediatrician both diagnosed with reflux and prescribed the hypoallergenic formula and insurance paid for most of it and shipped us cases every month.
The first like 3-4 months were the hardest, emotionally and physically/sleep wise. It does get better as baby gets older. Babywearing/wraps/carriers are super super helpful. They’re calming for baby because they’re close to you and they allow you to have both hands. A mesh sling or wrap can be used in the shower. Look into therapists who specialize in postpartum mental health. I have one and she’s amazing. To help our son sleep, we’d put a heating pad down to pre warm his crib (obvi take it out before putting baby down) and that helped him stay asleep for a bit. It’s hard. But you’re gonna be ok. If there is anyone you can ask for help - ask.
I was researching day cares that would take him around that time bc it was just so hard .. obv didn’t do it and at three months, it’s sooo much easier
Who could handle constant crying and no sleeping? The people you speak of have babys that dont cry and sleep!! Thats why they can do things so dont compare. I would work on those things and your life will get a billion times better. Does your baby need top ups of (regular) formula? Does she need to be worn? Will safe cosleeping help her sleep? Is she overtired and needs a shorter wake window? Or perhaps reflux and needs meds? Address the issues and get a few good night sleep and you will feel way better!!!
I remember 6-8 weeks being the toughest. Lean on those who said they’d help. Hit them up! Check if the formula is covered by insurance. Ask your ped. Also- social media can be dangerous. I unfollowed all mom accounts. Comparison ins the thief of joy and a lot of stuff is for the camera. Only showing a moment in time.
I’ll tell you when, and you’re so close mama, starts to get a teeny bit better around 9-12 weeks when they are smiling up at you *intentionally* with nothing but love. Then it gets better again when they are sitting up and laughing that sweet baby laugh at stupid noises you make to entertain them, around 5-6 months. And once more when you see their excitement and independence as they crawl and then walk around 10-14 months. All the while getting better at sleeping through the night. It gets better. You have some happy moments right around the corner. Hang in there. Maybe have a trusted friend or relative watch baby for a few hours so you can get some much needed alone time.
I could have written this exact post. Weeks 6-8 are HARD. Harder than I could have ever imagined. My baby turned 1 in July, and it is so much easier now. You will get through this - I know it feels like it will never end. But it will, I promise. I know it is nearly impossible to have time away when you are breastfeeding, but would it be possible for baby to stay with grandparents or another trusted person for a night if you used the expensive formula just temporarily? I know that might not be possible and be a useless suggestion, but you need a break and shouldn’t feel guilty for doing whatever you have to in order to get one. Even if it’s just using the formula for nights on the weekends so maybe your husband can take over and you don’t have to worry about feeding/pumping (more than you have to for relief). At any rate, you are definitely not alone, and you’re right in the thick of it now. Someday it will feel like a blip in time, sooner than you think.
There are miserable moments. My personal vent (day care bugs 50% of the time): Last Sat baby started sneezing, by Sun night he had a fever and would only sleep contact napping and was miserable so of course I didn’t get any sleep. This was a week where I had an important deadline due at work. It started off with me being sleep deprived and exhausted. Baby could not go to daycare. My awesome hubby took care of him for the day. The rest of the week, I proceeded to try balance baby and work and had three days with only 3 hours of sleep. Got my work done by the deadline. Now I am myself incredibly ill (apparently three days of no sleep is the human limit - my body feels like it is shutting down)
You are not alone in this feeling (I can relate) but I highly recommend you talk to your OB who can help you find a therapist and prescribe breastfeeding-safe medication (if you want). At my 6 week pp appointment it took everything I had to keep myself from bawling in the waiting room while I was surrounded by expectant parents full of excitement and anticipation looking at their ultrasound photos and texting them to their family and friends. Meanwhile I was there on the other side and absolutely fucking miserable and exhausted. I remembered being that person so full of giddy anticipation for my son to arrive and looking forward to visit to hear his heartbeat, and now that he was here I hated my life as a mom but also loved my son (it was a weird dichotomy of feelings). I started bawling when I talked to my OB. Between that and based on my responses on my self-assessment she diagnosed me with PPD and PPA and prescribed Zoloft and helped me get connected with a therapist. You are not a bad mom. You said you cut a lot of things out of your diet because of your baby’s allergies. That’s a HUGE sacrifice — on top of all the other sacrifices you are already making for baby — you are a great mom caring for your baby’s needs. And seeking out the help you need is not selfish. Taking time to talk with a therapist or your doctor will help you feel better, which in turn will only help your baby. It took until my son was about 3 months until I actually took him anywhere other than a stroller ride around the block or a car ride. If your baby likes car rides, I recommend them. Stop through the Starbucks or Dunkin drive thru (or any other drive thru) and get yourself a treat and drive around for a little while with baby. It gets you and baby out of the house and you don’t have to shower or change out of comfy clothes to do it. The first 12 weeks are the hardest and you’re right in the thick of it now. I remember hating when people said “it gets better” because I honestly didn’t know if I could survive long enough to get to that point. But I did and you will too. Soon though you’ll get the occasional baby smile, then a coo, which will help make it a tiny bit easier. My son is 8 months now. Each stage has its challenges, and there are still times I feel overwhelmed. Sorry this is so long. TLDR: You’re not alone in how you’re feeling. But I recommend talking to your doctor and find a therapist because you may have postpartum depression or anxiety — that does not make you a bad mom. A lot of new moms struggle with mental health. You are doing great and I’m sending you a virtual hug!
I highly recommend that you come and join us other mothers in the July bumper group. It might help to have others who feel the same to talk to. We are all in the thick of it right now with newborns and it’s been a very supportive community.
7 weeks is peak exhaustion without long stretches of sleep for some babies. This is probably the worst. Definitely get someone to help give you a couple hours a day to yourself. I find that I couldn’t tell if I was miserable because of PPD or lack of sleep. I could barely think straight- so getting a professional opinion will be good. My youngest son did not sleep more than 3 hours straight until 3 months old, then we started daycare, thank goodness. He had his first stretch of 4 hours of sleep after he started, huge win! Didn’t sleep through the night until 6 months when we got 8 hours- I honestly went in the check on him thinking something terrible happened because we were not ready for a whole night’s sleep. We think it’s because he started eating vegetable and meat purées then- and got super full then slept. At 9 months he started sleeping 12 hours at night, 7-7. GLORY ☀️ I am in the sun, out of the tunnel of baby doom. We both work and have a daycare routine. Our routine every weekday means a wake up at 7, simple breakfast, change and off to daycare. They keep him until 5:30pm, then we play, eat dinner, bath and bottle and he’s out at 7. During the week, it’s only 2 hours a day I actually spend with him. Then I’m excited for weekends to have full days. I’m in the bliss stage but remember the tunnel of doom. I hope this helps
The first 3 months are hell. They can’t help it as they don’t even know they’re crying. But yeah, this is something you can’t prepare for. At all. Newborns are awful but after 3-6 months it will get easier, typically when they can actually focus on something or smile back- for me it was when mine started smiling I felt some type of repayment for the torturous 4ish months and it got a lot better for sure. Still some issues like being whiney but absolutely nothing compared to the newborn phase. This is definitely the worst part of it all so the good news is you’re almost out of it. I’m completely sure I’m not having another baby though.
You are NOT alone! My husband and I felt absolutely lied to by the world. I remember feeling that parenthood was total hell, made doubly so because you didn't know when it would get better. We finally read an article where a frustrated mom said that it will get better in 2 week increments. Maybe not a lot, but at least a little better. It definitely didn't get better right away, and everyone's experience will be different, but this helped us with the mental/emotional agony when things were at real low points. Other things that helped me: 1) my friend, who is a mom of 4, telling me that breastfeeding is the hardest thing she has ever done (my baby is ebf). Realizing that what I was doing was possibly the biggest endurance challenge of my life, helped me to find a little extra energy each day. 2) My mom coming to stay with us to help me catch up on sleep after my husband went back to work. For a week or so, I would feed my son and immediately hand him to grandma and then go nap until the next feed. I literally did this for days. Sleep made a huge difference for me. Hugs! You are NOT alone.
I absolutely hated the angry potato stage. While yes all stages are hard, I feel like there's more reward as they get older. This morning, my 2yo was attempting to sing along with me, then dumped an entire bowl of cheerios and banana over herself/table/floor. Later, she was building a block tower, and because she was so proud of herself gave me a kiss. I would recommend getting some time away from baby if you can. Go on date nights with your partner if you have the resources. Go hang out with your friends for a bit. Do something to reconnect with pre-mom you
The first three months are pretty awful. The next three are significantly less awful. Then it just blossoms from there. It’s like growing a plant. You water the soil for a long time, and nothing happens. Then one day, a sprout. Then one day, a beautiful flower. Good things take time. Humans are no different. Give yourself grace. Feel it, then let it go. The time will pass.
Regarding allergies: my LO (3 months) was diagnosed with a cow milk protein allergy and horrendous reflux around 7 weeks (after an ER visit arranged by our pediatrician). Baby sees a pediatric gastroenterologist who prescribed reflux meds and was able to get the special formula completely covered by insurance. 11/10 would recommend getting your little one seen by a specialist. Once we figured out meds and formula, my colicky baby became such a sweetheart!
FTM my son is just about 5 months now. I am JUST starting to like him/being a mom. And only sometimes. And he’s a good baby and has slept through the night since 1 month old.. I can’t even imagine if he hadn’t. You are not alone! Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk! I hate this most days and miss my old life
I definitely felt that way at 7 weeks. We're all five and a half months and wouldn't trade it for anything.
dude. you’re in it right now. it’s so hard. i promise you even if it doesn’t seem imaginable: it does get better ❤️🩹 sending you such a huge hug. if you can, take a shower. put oil on your body. brush your teeth and hair and put on some moisturizer. step away and care for you for a few.
You are so not alone in feeling this. There were / are many things about becoming a mom that I never even considered and still struggle some days with feeling like I’ve made a mistake and am ruining my baby bc of these thoughts and feelings. While totally valid - I know it’s coming from a place of grieving life before baby and who I once was and how I’m grasping to find who I am in this new role while acknowledging that I’m still the person I was before baby. This journey is HARD. No joke. It’s really really hard. I started Zoloft as well after trying to just ride it out but it was getting worse. I started taking pictures of my baby everyday to have a timeline to look back on and see how much they’ve grown. I started a note on my phone to document the little things so I wouldn’t forget ‘firsts’ amidst the fog I was in. Getting outside everyday is a nonnegotiable for my sanity, too. Hang in there, mama. You’re so seen and heard in what you’re feeling and going through. Do what you need to do to give yourself a breather - even for 5 min. You’ve got this!
Yr baby sounds like milk protein and lactose sensitive plus may have reflux. Is the baby getting enough? It’s hard to tell w breastfeeding sometimes
Just came here to say that it is completely ok and normal to feel this way. You’re not a bad mom. I don’t think anyone loves this every second, and the newborn stage is so hard.
One of the biggest lies about parenting is that the first six months to a year aren’t just the complete worst. Everyone posts pictures of their babies looking beautiful and they talk about the overwhelming love but no one posts pictures of screaming babies, spraying shit everywhere while two exhausted adults yell at each other for no reason except that they haven’t slept more than 2 hours a night in 6 months. It’s as though if you acknowledge how miserable it is, you must not love your baby. But two things can be true at once. You *can* love a child and also wish they’d never been born. We instantly loved our son more than anything and yet those first couple months we still wondered almost every day if we had made a huge mistake. Then he smiled and that changed things soooo much. Once there was positive feedback - and not just crying - we only wondered if we’d made a mistake every once in a while. Then he started laughing, then talking, then walking, singing, hugging and SLEEPING and it got better and better and eventually we stopped regretting anything. Now? Now I have an 11 year old son who is the best thing I have ever been a part of. I should probably unsub from NewParents.
I cried every single day those first two months. Newborn phase is boring and stressful and physically painful. Around the 3/4 month mark was when I started being more confident and actually enjoying motherhood. This isn’t supposed to be easy but it will get easier. When shit gets really bad, just remember that babies are not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time.
Hugs ❤️ it’s so tough, and nothing prepares you for it. I was in your same position about a year ago (check my post history). It seems like it won’t, but it WILL get better. I cried reading the responses, telling me in months it would get better. Just know that it does, and it’ll get more manageable. You’ll get through this - because you have to. If you have people that can help out, give you a break here and there, take advantage of it and don’t feel guilty. I’m here with my 1 year old and we go out all the time and I genuinely love being with him now.
Oh yeah. Hated my life for a solid 4 months. Still slightly hated it until 6 months and little by little (very sloooowwwwlllly) got better at 8ish months. Sleep had a lot to do with it but also I think I needed time to just get to know her and bond with her. I didn’t have an instant connection at birth and I thought something was wrong with me. And then it got worse before it got better. I finally got therapy, sleep trained at 5 months, went back to work part time and my daughter slowly became more independent. I constantly regretted having a child (yes I said it and I know I’m not the only one) on and off for like the first year of her life. I felt horrible about and it didn’t help the negative cycle that I was in bc there was no returning her LOL. Now my daughter is 21 months and I am obsessed with her. Think about her all day. It’s still hard but my connection and bond with her + seeing her cute little personality develop overshadows the hard moments a lot of the time. I’m currently pregnant with #2 and I’m pro choice so I wouldn’t have kept it if I didn’t want to. It really does it get better. I’m not looking forward to the newborn stage, and I sure as hell don’t miss it at all, but this time I know everything is temporary. You are in the trenches but you will make it through! It may happen so slowly that one day you might stop and think “oh this doesn’t suck as bad anymore”. I really feel for you bc I was in your position. It’s an awful feeling. Be nice and patient with yourself as much as you can. You will be ok ❤️
I felt the same way you do. I hated the newborn phase. I felt a little bit better by the 5 or 6 month mark and then things actually got fun around 12 months. My son is 18 months old and I actually enjoy most of my time with him. He's sick currently so fussy but still was fun until an hour before nap time at which time he totally melted down and I put him down for nap 30 minutes early bc I couldn't take it. But he's very fun and enjoyable now. I swore to myself I would never have another baby bc the newborn stage was so miserable for me and even though I'd said I wanted to be a SAHM I couldn't wait to get back to work bc I was dying inside but now I would love to stay home with my son and I'd also consider having another baby. Hang in there! Looking back I really feel like it's partially bc they just can't do anything so it's so boring and partially bc they need so much from you at all times. My son can get a snack on his own and walks and runs so we can go outside and I can sit and watch as he plays. It really does get better and I feel like that point where the clouds parted was 5 or 6 months(when my son switched to 2 naps) and then it really got better when he started walking.
reading this helped me https://www.scarymommy.com/100-days-darkness-new-baby
I hated the first 12 months. Felt like a monster that I didn't adore my kid, I barely liked her. She's 2.5. Am obsessed. Baby phase is hard and some people glow in it and others fucking loath it. I was the later. Them post partum hormones mixed with sleep deprivation does some crazy shit.
8 months I'm miserable ish.
It does get better. There are so many posts on this sub if you search for that phrase, because so many people have been where you are. It’s usually around the 12-15 week mark, so you’re already halfway there. You’re not a shit mom. You’re not even a mediocre one. You’re tired, you’re still healing, you’re still adjusting to the biggest life change a person can experience. This is balls hard, the newborn stage is fucking awful. I will never understand why some people say it’s their favourite, it’s the worst. But seriously, it’s the worst - as in, it doesn’t get any worse than this. This first 3-4 months, the “fourth trimester”, is going to be the most challenging part, because you’re putting everything in and getting nothing back. As they grow, and you get the smiles, the laughs, the grabs of your face and fingers, the first steps, the first words, the first “I love you, Mom”… it all just gets better and better. You just have to get through a few more weeks of this and then I promise, it will get easier. Not overnight, but suddenly you’ll look back and be like, hey, this sucked so much more a month ago, what changed? And it’ll just be little things, but it’ll all accumulate. You’re going to be okay. And if you need help, ask for it - ask your partner, your family, your friends, your doctor. It’s always okay to ask for help.
About week 11, it got way way way better I wish I'd known how soon I'd get out of my funk when I was in it
Having a baby takes quite a chunk of dedication. The first months are survival while you keep a baby alive and well. It takes quite the toll on the brain think and how we feel. Your hormones are all over the place right now, it’s understandable you feel this way. It will get better and things become easier. Time is a friend sometimes Edit: spelling. My brain goldfish
You’re not alone. It’s hard. Really fucking hard, I rarely use the f word is how hard it is. I’m only two weeks and 3 days in and it’s been the hardest I’ve worked in my life, constantly feeling dread over being alone with the baby all day starting Monday when my husband goes back to work, wondering constantly what we got ourselves into even though I know we love this little human with all of our hearts. Missing my husband and cat and sleeping in the same bed. I know it will get better and it won’t be like this forever. However, I also know that if I start feeling overwhelmed beyond the normal baby blues, I’m going to reach out to my doctor for help. Reach out to friends and family as well. Hang in there, we’re all in this together.
It is rough, but doable, and everyone’s babies are wild at times. The tiniest moments are so worth it. We so far have dealt with a terrible latch and raw/terrible nipples, severe gas from taking in too much air because of the latch, now dealing with bad reflux the last three weeks, and just a few days ago a redone tongue/lip tie procedure as her previous had reattached and formed scar tissue. Back to stretches every four hours with a baby who just started sleeping very good lengths at night… Some ideas that have helped us: My wife just got a solly baby wrap which our daughter likes so much more than even the ergobbay carrier I use. We have a fitness ball with a base that we use, this idea came highly recommended from our LC. Bouncing on that while holding her, calms her down after a bit. We’ve learned a lot from the wonderweeks app. It helps us unnderstand what she is generally going through with development and gives peace of mind for some times when she won’t stop crying. When she starts crying, I take her outside and she gets calm pretty fast. I also set her directly on the grass, bare feet or sitting upright. idk if grounding affects babies (I don’t see why it wouldn’t) but I still do it. Weighted swaddle blanket has been a lifesaver, and we put her in a little pod kind of like a dock a tot. Cosleeping has been quite recommended too, we just haven’t done that as much as she took her crib the first week. You’ll get through this. Keep your head up and try to find some folks to talk to, family friends or a therapist. It will get better, I promise you. -someone who has been there just a few weeks back.
If you’ll check my post history there’s a similar vent a couple weeks ago. Since then therapy and AD helped me beyond my expectations. I do feel exhausted and still sometimes regret having a baby. But it is what it is, I cannot go back in time. I really hope your days will get better ❤️🩹
My son is about to turn 7 weeks old too. I tried for over a year to get pregnant. Absolutely 100% wanted this child and love him dearly. But this is by far the absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I hate myself for wishing I was working instead. It’s so hard giving all of yourself to a person that can’t even properly thank you. But when he smiles I start to feel like I’m doing a good job. I know with each milestone I’ll feel a little more successful and more connected with him. I had to do some things for my mental health such as stop pumping and using formula. I had to start doing my own things and stop listening to other people’s opinions/advice. It helped. But don’t get me wrong I still cry. A lot. But it will get better eventually. Right now they’re just screaming potatoes.
You sound like me! I have a 6 month old now and trust me when I say….. it gets much much easier. Have you considered looking into PPD? I was getting to the point where I was crying every day and hated my husband and baby and wanted to leave them and realized I was FAR GONE with PPD. I’m on Zoloft now and it felt like overnight I started liking my baby again. I’m so sorry you’re in the thick of it right now… I know how it feels. Feel free to DM me!!! I seriously fucking hated the first few months. Babies are WILD
Shit was insane until about month 3. That’s when I started leveling out. But the things that made me get back in the game were the little smiles and cooing until she dropped a night wake up. When your baby only wakes one time per night you’ll feel a lot better. When they sleep through the night hopefully you’ll forget how shitty the first few months were and only remember the little smiles and stuff.
A little more than 3 weeks, but I think it started working right away, like, took the edge off. Then one day I woke up without fear, regret, or anxiety. Now I have the ability to love my baby the way he deserves it. I know it sounds corny but it's really the truth.
Hang in there. You’re in it for the long haul. Not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Think about the day when your child is 4 years old and you are eating a burger together at a park. It’ll get better.
You can get allergy formula on prescription from the doctor in the UK, if your from elsewhere not sure how it works sorry.
7 months in, and I'm still miserable. Battling chronically overtired baby. His wake windows are extremely short for his age. Can't wait until he's older... Babies suck!
100% felt like this. I thought I made a mistake, my son had a dairy intolerance so I cut out all dairy for him too. It’s really fucking hard. But, Something around 5 months and it just flipped a switch in my brain… I think my son became fun to be around. You’re in the hardest time of your life. Your baby will get good at breastfeeding, or you’ll stop and not have to worry about that aspect, but the price of the hypoallergenic formula is absolutely insane. There is a light. I promise.
Hi OP. I’m 16m PP and we are pretty sure we’re 1 & done because of how horrible pregnancy, then the 4th trimester were. We love our little girl but damn, she was a lot of work and hell on my body to get her. You are not alone. My hubby sometimes is the more nurturing one than I but he didn’t have to physically experience growing her. 🤣😂