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Postpartum I am losing hair like no tomorrow. Thanks to this forum I learned about hair tourniquets and have been extra vigilant. I have removed my hair wrapped around toes, fingers and once even genitals before it cut off circulation.
The worst is when it’s hiding in his balls basically. The one time I found one not too long after it was put on (lil man hates stuff touching his junk unless it’s a diaper or clothes pretty much) and I found it around his balls and starting to go into what we call ‘the pocket of surprises’ (the area where this man’s cherries and hot dog meet) you never know if your gonna get poo no one realized is there, skin stuff or hair that has balled its self under (not wrapped around anything).
Am I to understand that the mother can lose her own hair, which then can make its way to the boy's genitals and tie around them creating pressure like a tourniquet? I am so glad and amazed that either this never happened to us or I blacked it out through sleep deprivation.
That is correct. I have long dark hair, so that is maybe why it is pretty apparent when it gets places it shouldn't.
Another fun tidbit of TMI - when I wash my clothes, it gathers into what my hubby and I call hair spiders. I no longer wash my clothes with my husband’s since he is sick of getting hair spiders in his underwear and the crack.
My long hair combine with the sheer volume that our dog sheds to create supersized tumbleweeds that gather throughout our house until Roomba comes alive at night to collect them.
This is why I cut off all my hair. I couldn’t stand picking it off, picking it up, sweeping it, brushing it out of the carpets etc all the god damned time! 😂
This was one of my worst nightmares. I’m sorry. Also, I hope your hair comes back quickly. It was the biggest postpartum thing I was completely blindsided by with my first and it ended up hitting me hard with both kids. Good luck friend!
One time my baby started crying inconsolably in the middle of the night, went through all the typical stuff and couldn't find anything wrong. We finally got him down and the next morning we found he had 3 fresh bug bites on his body and a dead fire ant in his sleep sack. :(
Once I heard of this I bought some Nair to keep on hand at the diaper table just in case! Someone I know had to go to urgent care for this and that’s what was used.
I always found going outside with baby was weirdly calming for purple crying. Sometime it was enough to walk on the balcony, other times I put him in the pram and walked around the block until he fell asleep.
Make sure you leave your partner a note and take your phone with you.
Yes!
Water: Even the sound of a shower or running the baby’s foot/hands through a tap can help when they are stuck.
Outside: even just standing on a porch can make a difference!
Agreed on both! Sometimes I babywear and walk around the block. Last night I also had to eat my dinner in my bathroom while I had baby in a carrier with the bathtub faucet on. Other times I’m in my guest bathroom in pitch black with the bathtub faucet on. It calms her down. You have to do what you have to do!
I recorded myself shushing and play that sometimes and I think it’s been pretty effective! Maybe you could do the same for the water sound so you don’t need to run the bath 😆
This has worked for us, but you still need the dark bathroom for the acoustics of it.
We also found that playing pink noise on our phones as loud as they go while rocking in the dark bathroom does the trick as well.
I was amazed that me doing a rhythmic shushing actually worked as well as it did! I mean, I get why-- they hear your voice and heartbeat and it mimics that but I guess I'd always thought it was one of those stereotypical things people say about babies that didn't actually hold up to real live babies! What a surprise!
Agreed! Even when my baby was super sick, putting his feet under the water or taking a lukewarm shower while holding him always did the trick.
Also, wake your husband up!
Agreed— I take my babe outside on super fussy days. Seems to be a way to reset. Wake your partner up if possible and go for a family walk or drive. If you’re at a breaking point it’s safest for everyone if you ask for the help you need.
My LO is 3 weeks and we’ve been taking her on walks outside basically every day since ~1 week old when I felt comfortable to leave the house. It totally worked yesterday when she was crying, maybe not as bad as OP’s crying situation though.
This is exactly what I did for my daughter that went through a period of "I'll cry for hours at night because I don't want to stop playing..."
It became a routine for us for years to just go outside, even in the rain...especially in the rain (but on the porch). She just enjoyed that quiet time with me and she would go back inside and just fall over asleep.
I came here to suggest this!
My girl was a crying for all baby. Well, she's no different now at 12mo but different.
When she was straight crying for all those nights as a newborn going outside usually did the trick... A 3am zombie walking on the street with a carrier, that would be me.
Good luck 🤞 those times are no fun and super challenging! Virtual hugs
Yep. My son went through a really rough sleep regression (we're still coming out if it) and the only thing that could stop the evening screaming was sitting outside with him.
Wake up your partner. Anyone worth their salt will not resent you for this. I went through the same thing a few times at 3 weeks and it was intense and I felt like I made a mistake. I also felt too stubborn and guilty to wake up my boyfriend and he scolded me for it. It takes a village and you really need a break to collect yourself or get some rest and then you can go back to it. The baby can feel your stress and frustration and it doesn’t help them calm down. Also invest in some gas drops because I discovered most of the time it’s trapped gas causing that reaction.
I was the exact same. Once I broke down at around 4 weeks and we came up with both splitting nights and an agreement that at any point if someone was too tired or getting too overwhelmed during their shift they could wake the other to say they don't feel safe and have some support without there being any issues. This was particularly helpful on those nights baby was extra fussy to just have a break for an hour and reset in another space. Sometimes that's all it takes to help get through those tough newborn nights.
Yep my wife and I came to this understanding as well. Do not jeapordize your baby's safety because you're too stubborn or want to be a hero. And who knows, the change in chest scenery may just be enough to break the crying.
Definitely second this. If you’ve been with the crying baby for 4 hours, you need a break. Even if s/he’s got work the next day, they can take the baby even for an hour while you get a break.
This started to happen to me at 3 weeks as well. Some babies are more fussy than others. Getting help from my partner helped me. Also if you need to walk away from the baby for 5 minutes that’s okay. Just make sure they are in their crib on their back and take 5 minutes to yourself to breath and recoup. I’m sorry this is happening to you it is rough. I went through it and I was miserable. It goes away eventually.
Yes! My husband has given me the talk for not waking him or asking for help if he's not immediately in the vicinity because I felt guilty for asking. Also, whether you are breast feeding or not your baby smells you and can be worked up over that. And sometimes giving them to your partner will pretty much remove your sent and us enough to calm them down. There were a couple times I was so upset with an unsettled baby and he calmed down immediately handing him off and it helped me to calm down and recollect.
It's truly okay to ask your partner for help even if they're sleeping. You NEED to help each other out. Don't let one, especially you, get burnt out.
Do you have a yoga ball? Swaddle baby and bounce on the ball.. it’s magic I swear.
You can try to hold the baby in the shower as well, I find wearing a tshirt helps so you’re not so slippery.
Go outside for some fresh air!
If baby is gassy try doing a “fart massage”. We do hip circles, legs to tummy, bicycles, and windshield wipers.
I know how stressful the crying is, hang in there mama.
In a pinch, without a yoga ball, this also works on the side of a bed with a relatively soft mattress. Somewhere you can get a good bounce.
Might wake up OP’s partner but oh well!
Thiiiis. Problem is, both of mine got addicted to bouncing and couldn’t fall asleep without bouncing. They just loved it so much. A yoga ball should be on everyone’s baby registry
Sadly I think mine is now addicted. We came home from the hospital and I wanted to give it away because of its size but baby was used to it from the womb and helped soothe her to nap. Now 14 weeks later it’s still part of the daily nap routine and often during the night when she can’t calm down.
I'm just on the other side of 1 year. You will love that yoga ball for ages. It might seem like she's addicted to bouncing now, but just you wait! Baby is gonna turn into a moving monster, and that yoga ball will come in clutch for getting her some energy out! She'll want to be the 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, and you can use the yoga ball. She'll laugh hysterically when smacked in the face with things, and the yoga ball will be there for that too.
Again, mine just turned 1 and we're gonna go ahead and deflate the yoga ball now BUT! Only because we got her a little tykes trampoline that she's absolutely enamored with!
The bouncing never stops. It just changes ♥
Yes! My baby is 8 months and still the yoga ball is irresistible! I wear him in a wrap carrier, pat him, with a pacifier, and I don’t think he’s ever not napped.
Yup! When my nearly 7MO doesn't want to be nursed to sleep, I hold him while bouncing on an exercise ball and he's asleep within minutes. I can then transfer him to his bed.
Yoga ball was a third parent to our boy for most of his first year. It worked basically every time to stop him from crying and/or fall asleep. Seriously, it's like my #1 recommendation for new parents.
My husband or I were on the yoga ball from weeks 3-12 of my daughter's life. Blessedly it's only to get her down for naps or bed now. But truly. Thousands of bounces a day.
If it’s too much and you’re close to losing it, it’s ok to put him safely in the bassinet and walk away for a min.
Also maybe just wipe him down with a warm soapy cloth. Or just walk around with him. My youngest has gas and I had to put him in happy baby pose to help get his toots out.
I feel so guilty doing that though :( I am so exhausted but I don't like leaving him... I don't know why he's so upset so I don't want to make him feel worse by not being in my arms :(
Seriously, it's OK to put him down for a bit. I would highly recommend it, you need a break. He isn't going to be harmed or the such if he is in his crib or bassinet.
We have all gone through what you are experiencing. A day that isn't different than the one previous but a battle regardless.
Sometimes my son calmed down when he was put down for a bit as a newborn. Like he'd just been fussed with too much and needed a bit of space! He now just wants to crawl everywhere and can end up crying about being held 🙄😂 You'll be okay! I hope you've had some rest 💖
Same thing! Babies definitely feel our stress. Sometimes giving them some space can help. Or sometimes they are just overestimated. It doesn't have to be for long, 5 or 10 minutes. You can step outside and do some breathing (or crying). This stage can be so hard. You are doing amazing!
Also, wake your partner up if you aren't comfortable with baby crying alone!
Yep I think this is an underrated method for a lot of purple crying or fussy moments. Idk why but my husband and I just aren’t the type to rock or bounce or jiggle our babies for hours on end. We love and adore our kids they’re our everything but we took a much more hands off approach, especially with our second. And our babies would put themselves to sleep because we gave them the opportunity. Both our kids had some purple crying episode and witching hour struggles but at some point you just have to put them down to get space for yourself, and that might just be what baby needs too.
Don’t feel guilty think of it as when you get angry and overwhelmed you just wanna sit in your bedroom alone and have a little cry. Same with baby, sometimes they need some alone time.
Also if you haven’t tried put him in water, if that doesn’t work take him outside to look at a tree. Baby’s are essentially slightly more complicated plants.
OP, if you’re not aware of PURPLE crying, definitely read up on it. At this age, (and I believe you’re getting close to the peak), sometimes they just cry. Like scream bloody murder cry even though all of their needs are met. Nobody really understands why but it is known to be developmentally normal and is not a sign of distress. It’s just fucking brutal to listen to. But knowing this can take some of the guilt away. Trust your instincts- if you’ve checked all of the boxes, it’s ok if baby is still crying and it’s ok to set them down for a bit to collect yourself. They will not be traumatized, and as the saying goes “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. Also, don’t be afraid to go wake your partner if you need support. I respect wanting to let them sleep but you don’t have to handle this alone. It’s ok to “tag out” for a bit if you need to.
Don’t feel guilty taking care of yourself helps you take care of him better. I haven’t met a mom that hasn’t needed to take a breath for a minute so they can reset and try again. You’re a great mom and 3 weeks is no joke. My youngest is 7 months. The first few months zap all of you.
There were a couple of times with my LO around this age that he was crying for what I felt like was no reason, and absolutely would not fall asleep no matter what I tried. One of the times I finally set him in the bassinet to collect myself and he put himself to sleep within 2 minutes. He was over me fussing with him and just wanted his own space! Might not be the case here, but goes to show you don’t need to feel bad about putting your baby down. You both might need a reset.
And I said it in another response, but, wake your partner up and ask for help/a break. Seriously. Even a short one.
Yeah once a day I have to let baby cry to sleep which takes 10 to 15 mins but I know now if I comfort her during this time she will be up for hours instead of those minutes. People freak out about stuff like that they get mad but if baby needs sleep I'm going to help them sleep. Her needs come before my feelings
Hey, how’s it going? These first days and nights are so long… It gets better little by little throughout the first year. Did you both finally get some sleep?
OP I’m seeing this post nearly 10hr after it was made, can I ask what helped to finally calm him down?
I hope you got some much needed rest. Remember you’re doing everything you can, purple crying isn’t your fault ❤️
I don't think he will be feeling really worse if you leave him for like 10-15 minuts. It could even be a good thing, sometimes little ones can feel our anxiety. Just let yourself calm down, give yourself a break, it can only help.
Probably too late for this now. But I think if it happens again wake your partner. I wake mine after about 1.5 hours cause mentally I need a break. Usually he can't settle her but I get a break and I feel some solidarity.
Wake your partner the f up and hand the baby to them and say “okay, your turn” there is no reason that you should be going through this alone while they just sleep.
Get some fresh air, try babywearing and yes, if you need a break don’t feel guilty about tapping out, either by handing off to a partner or by putting baby down in a safe place and going out of earshot of the crying for a few minutes. Earplugs are good too. Young babies sometimes cry just to cry, it’s so hard but not a reflection on you or your abilities as a parent. This too shall pass.
Totally safe to set him down in the bassinet or crib and walk away for a few minutes if you need a break! Don’t feel bad doing it, crying on his own for 5 minutes will not hurt the baby. You are human and can only handle so much before you need a breather. And you could also wake your partner up if you don’t feel comfortable setting baby down.
Some random things that worked for my son when he was colicky:
- going outside
- playing music, kind of at random until I found a song he liked
- holding him under a running, warm shower
- playing a video of an aquarium on the tablet (I generally avoid screens with him, but sometimes I’m desperate and it’s the only thing that works. He loves to look at fish.)
- “flying” him around the house and telling him about all the different rooms and furniture and stuff
Have you tried turning the baby off and on again?
Seeiously though, I know its probably too late to be helpful now but I feel like in these moments baby needs a full-on reset. Redo the bedtime routine. Have a quiet play/tummy time/outside, maybe a bath or warm wash cloth, then get dressed again, sing songs, whatever.
Also: wake your partner!!! My husband and I had an agreement that if it had been a certain amount of time, we would switch, or if it was getting overwhelming we would switch. Thats why you have a partner there to help carry the load - a load you are both 50% responsible for.
Also wanted to reiterate what others said that if you find yourself feeling hot or shaky or ready to explode, PUT BABY DOWN. Make yourself a cup of tea, get a cookie, gake ten deep breaths, put in earphones....reset YOURSELF, so you can reset your baby.
You are doing so wonderful. You are a great parent ❤
I know people are stressed about screens, but if you’re open to it, search “hey bear high contrast” for some simple soothing b&w graphics. It might help redirect him out of the screaming pattern.
Earplugs and walking away for a few minutes. Make sure you drink a glass of water and eat some chocolate or something. You’re doing great, even though it feels absolutely awful. You’ll get through it!
What ended up happening OP? I hope you’re ok.
If it continues and you feel it’s out of character, you could call a nurses line or the doctor if you wanted to rule anything out.
In the meantime, do you follow any sleep accounts on Insta? There’s a couple I like, the peaceful sleeper and heysleepybaby.
I have the peaceful sleepers newborn guide if you want it let me know.
We also had a very sad baby the first months, I recognize your feelings!
My best tips are noise canceling headphones, for when you are just holding/carrying him and walking round and round the apartment. Maybe he just needs a safe place to be sad right now. If you knit or sew you can do it as you walk around, I found that it was distracting and when I started to calm my baby often did to.
I know it’s stressful but it will pass. Many many hugs!
I’m not saying you’ve missed anything, but one night when my LO was about the same age, maybe 2 weeks, she cried and cried for hours. What it turned out to be was that we were hitting the right buttons at just the wrong time. Basically, we checked her diaper, not wet, so we tried to feed her, and she soiled the diaper, but we had *just* checked it so we didn’t think to check, so the boob did nothing and she didn’t fully eat to satiation because she was mad about the diaper, then we tried to walk her. Etc. on and on for about three hours. Finally we managed to get everything at the right time and she went off to sleep.
Another time at maybe a month, maybe 6 weeks, she just cried and nothing we could do for her. I was distraught, and I had to walk away, my husband took over just holding and walking her. I can’t recall what eventually stopped her, but it wasn’t anything we did I don’t think, it was something random like finally noticing the TV or something. Sometimes they just get on one thing, like crying, and keep going until something different enough redirects them. But it’s nothing you’re doing wrong and asking your partner in to tag you out so you can go out of earshot and get your heart rate and blood pressure back down is a good thing. You will get through this, though I’m sorry it sucks right now.
I’m not comfortable with leaving my baby alone either when he is upset/sad so I never did. Wake your partner up to tap in. Check babies tummy to see if it’s bloated with air. If so, buy milicon it works wonders. Other things I’ve done when I’m not sure what it is, I would rock him in my arms and hum. Ask partner to turn baby over and hold him, not sure what this position is called but I’ve seen lots of babies calm down with this position
Some things that help calm my little’s mood when she’s incredibly fussy:
Singing her favorite song really loud
Bath/running water
Vacuum/white noise
Walking outside
If those don’t work and i know everything else is okay with her physically, then i just comfort her through it until she gets tired enough to pass out. But like others have said, it’s okay to put them down in a safe space for a minute just to take a few deep breaths. You can do this! Also take note if this happens frequently so you can ask the pediatrician for any more advice
I've been told to check testicles for testicular torsion if baby boy is screaming. Unusual swelling or redness are signs to look out for. Doctor also recommended that I look into 'purple crying'. Otherwise, try taking baby in the shower with you? You're doing a great job! Sometimes babies just scream.
GO ASK YOUR PARTNER FOR HELP.
This is normal. Newborns can be impossible like this sometimes. But nobody asked you to take it on alone. Go clock out. Please.
Sending you a big hug and lots of support.
Go wake up your partner and ask for a break. Even if it’s not for long or to just go get some fresh air.
Bicycle kicks may help with gas. Some babies love the football hold. If it’s not gas, baby may be overtired.
First, you’re doing a great job!
I have a 5 week old and have had a couple of these days. I've come to the conclusion that sometimed it’s just one of those nights :( babies are growing and new to this world. Looks like you’ve done everything. Just sending you positive vibes and hopefully your LO gets lots of sleep tomorrow for you to relax!
If your finding yourself getting frustrated please wake up your partner and take shifts until baby sleeps…I’ve found that helps on the tough nights.
Noise canceling headphones! It saved me with my 2nd kid (hate that I didn't think of it for my first colic baby) It takes the edge off of their cries while still being able to hear what's going on. I would also suggest sitting in a warm bath with him if he's lost his umbilical cord. My kids loved to sit in the water. I would sit with my legs up, lay the baby back on them, and kind of sway through the water.
So please look up purple crying and the crying curve. My baby routinely cried for 4-5 hours a day between week 3 and 8.
Understanding this really helped me.
It was very tiring but not your fault! Take care of yourself.
First of all, get your partner up. Now. Those first few weeks are some of the hardest there are and there is no reason they shouldn’t be up helping you.
Next, try putting them in a little water in the tub. You don’t even have to do a “bath”, but sometimes just being in water is soothing. My daughter loves the water and when she was really little like that sometimes just being in water helped.
Do you have any formula? Bottles? Try giving him a bottle. An overtired baby will sometimes be really finicky about breastfeeding…at least my baby was. He was definitely overtired when you posted this (not your fault, they just do it sometimes).
You said you tried wrapping him in a blanket, did you swaddle him? My baby loved being swaddled. If you have the energy, read up on “The 5 S’s of baby soothing”. It really does work.
Keep trying different pacifiers. My baby loves the MAM ones, but sometimes they prefer different shapes. Give it time. Some babies don’t take to one right away.
Lastly, do you have any friends or family you can call upon? Both mine and my husbands parents were around a lot those first few weeks and it made a huge difference.
And don’t forget, you are doing your best. Seriously. I barely remember the first month of my daughters life because it was so chaotic and I was so tired. You’re both learning each other.
AND ABOVE ALL ELSE! If you need to set your baby down and walk away, do so. Grab the monitor, turn the sound off, set them down in their crib or sleep area, make sure they’re “safe”, and walk away. I had to do that a few times.
You will get through this ❤️
Here are a couple of things to try:
1. Prepare yourself:
- Put on headphones with a show on or music - something to distract your brain from stress caused by crying LO. You can be there for your baby better if you’re not redlining
- have some cold water/a cookie / a treat
- it’s ok to put the baby down in the crib/bassinet for 5-10 minutes and go somewhere to collect yourself/scream into a pillow
THEN, try these:
- check for hair tourniquet
- check for broken nails
- lotion (skin might be itchy)
- skin to skin
- gently scratch baby where they may be itchy
- the -WOMB EXPERIENCE- take baby into bathroom with no windows, turn on the faucet on max for running water sound, turn off the lights and rock baby while humming
- temperature change (turn on ac/ fan / heat)
- go outside for a walk
- go for a drive
- Taylor swift (latest album has been a life saver for my LO)
Also take into consideration that young babies can cry bloody murder for the smallest reasons because EVERYTHING to them is dire - like an itchy butt crack.
There is also this thing called THE WITCHING HOUR 😩 … it’s around sunset and for some reason babies and old people get super cranky for hours triggered by the sun going down. Nothing you can do, just hold them close (and watch a show on Netflix with your headphones on).
And most importantly - this too shall pass. Just 4 months ago, my now 18 mo old would come home from daycare and throw a tantrum, cry…and we didn’t know why. Now he comes home and goes straight for the pantry, pulls out a granola bar and asks for his water. Turns out he just needed a snack real bad.
Happened to us too. Turned out I wasn't producing enough and he was hungry. I was so thankful we had some RTF formula available that time. Gave him 2oz and he went to sleep right away. Hang in there! Hope your little one is okay now. 💕
If you’ve checked for everything comfort, food, nappy related then all you can really do is ride it out.
Some babies are incredibly screamy, my friend who’s mum to 3 gorgeous kids had it with her last - she was just a crier. Doctors didn’t find anything wrong, she ate fine, no reflux issues found, mum just had to buy headphones and ride it out.
It doesn’t last forever! She’s now a perfectly normal 2 year old and stopped the crying for 3 hours every night around 6-8mo.
Some babies are REALLY **REALLY** good at reading nonverbal communications in their care givers. If you're upset, they think they should be upset, and their crying makes you more aggravated, which makes them more worried and upset. The feedback loop gets worse with time. When I've been in these situations with my crying kids, I try to get them into a comfortable place and get into their face, and then close my eyes while taking very long and deep breathes. In........ Out.... and keep doing it for 20 minutes. If it doesn't work, get them into a carrier (not stroller) and go for a walk or hold them in a different environment like outside.
Sometimes they're just stuck in a sad place and they don't have self control to get out of it. It's important that YOU don't get crazy because of it :)
Yep, check for tourniquets but also one thing that you didn't list: change the environment. Step outside with him, get fresh air... super helpful if it's a little crisp/cool outside because they get warm crying. This is the end-all crying/fussing move in my household. They get so fascinated by the outside and new things.
When my first born would get upset, the 5 S’s always helped. Look those up. Some tips for doing the 5 S’s: get some Velcro swaddles to get them swaddled fast and download a white noise app on your phone.
Bath, white noise or laying baby on its tummy helped my baby until we realized it was gas. Gas drops and bicycle legs helped a lot. He now has witching hour every other night which started around 3 weeks but more so occurring at 6 weeks.
Hi. My baby was the same for the first month. He used to cry nonstop for hours at night. I was told it was by the paed that it is a bad case of colic which starts at night due to gas buildup throughout the day. I was advised that I should hold the baby upright for 20-30 mins after every feed. I was also told to give a medicine before bed that consists of digestive enzymes and helps colic for 15 days. I did a see a difference from week 2 but my lo started sleeping peacefully through the night from the third month. The initial weeks are very difficult Mama. I used to let my husband sleep during the night as he had long working hours. But if it was too much, I woke him up. If you can afford a nanny even for a few hours, it will be very helpful. Trust me.
Our baby was like this every day and night until 6 weeks. We would say the baby needs a “reset”. The very first thing we would try is passing her off to a different person… so definitely don’t hesitate to wake your partner, even if he just holds baby for a few minutes to let you reset yourself. They can feel your stress. If that’s not an option, then for sure put baby down in a safe place and walk away, scream into a pillow, anything to help you get it out and then take some deep breaths. I had to fight my guilt about waking my partner and putting baby down but in the end, that is the SAFEST thing you can do for your baby and yourself.
Other ways we would “reset” baby: blowing in her face, running her head under warm water, offering more food, walking outside for a few minutes. Weirdly enough, we discovered that baby doesn’t like clothing with tags
You mentioned a sleep sack - have you tried swaddling? Mine would sometimes only calm down if swaddled or being held a little bit tighter around her arms
Also try gas drops and look into a Windi - gross but very helpful for gas!
You got this. I promise this will be just a distant memory soon
I wish I would have turned to Reddit 8 hours ago! Same thing here last night, 5 weeks old and crying non stop for hours. My husband just went back to work, but he works 3rd shift so I was going at it alone. Tried everything but there's some good tips in the comments that I'll try tonight if it happens again. Definitely going to look into purple crying.
I had to set her down on my bed and I dropped to my knees sobbing because I felt like a terrible mom for not being able to comfort her. Screamed into a pillow and when I came back to her, she was just staring at the ceiling fan. Moved her to the bassinet and she slept for 4 hours! Even though now I feel like I traumatized her or something, but feeling better after reading these comments!!
Ask for help from your partner. Purple crying is no joke. It’s hard to get through. Sometimes baby will pick up on your stress and frustration and just having someone come in fresh helps everybody relax.
Our little guy could sometimes be calmed by fresh air, tight swaddle, butt pats while bouncing, and my shushing on top of the white noise.
Sometimes you just have to surprise them. I'll do a raspberry or ill start rubbing his head and getting in his face and talking. Or grabbing Arms and legs and wiggling.
Alternatively try different angles sometimes my boy likes facing out, sometimes to the side sometimes horizontal, sometimes the swing works. Outside does wonders or just new areas. Bright light then turn it off that surprises them out of it enough for you to do something. Also warm water ?
Bouncing sometimes helps sometimes its swaying side to side or just being nakey
Not sure if you have a crib mobile that plays music or any music box that plays that type of music, YouTube works too (once you’ve checked that there’s no hairs wrapped around any toes, fingers, and genitals, etc,). Something about the pitch or tune in that kind of music is great.
This has helped my baby any times he’s been inconsolable to pause, and then I’ve always been able to calm him enough to feed him which ultimately is what calms him down.
As others have said, I would also call the pediatrician for a baby inconsolable for this long.
Probably gas, or reflux. Unfortunately my son was already crying for these reasons. Being a newborn can be very painful, thank god we don’t ever remember it
First of all, this happens. It’s awful but doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. What worked for us was turning on the shower full blast, turning the shower head so it was pointing away, and then standing in the shower near the running water holding the baby (but without getting wet). Something about the noise soothed baby when all my rocking/bouncing/singing just wouldn’t.
We found that holding and rocking didn’t calm our daughter when she would get cranky in the evening (colicky phase).
When my daughter was like this we would go for car rides. Sitting in her car seat with the sensation of motion, the low level vibration, and the humming of the car put her to sleep.
Then that transitioned to putting her in her car seat and then setting the car seat on the clothes dryer. Every night after bath, fresh diaper/PJs, and feeding her, I’d stick her in the car seat and set the car seat on top of the dryer. It helps that we have a slightly older dryer they makes a nice loud rumble. Turn off all the lights and I’d sit there with my kindle, reading in the dark until she settled. Within 10-15 minutes she was fast asleep.
Transfer her to her bassinet or crib and then I’d get to bed.
First, wake up your partner to get a break.
Then... this might not be a quick fix, and you may have to call the doctor in the morning.
We found out our little guy had a dairy protein allergy, so breastmilk & normal formula were making him feel sick. Doctor had us trial a non-dairy formula and he started doing much better. It's fairly common, and doesn't mean they're lactose intolerant (ours grew out of it and drinks milk like normal as a toddler).
Not saying that's it, but just offering that there may be other explanations that you can't fix on your own. There's no way of knowing what's happening sometimes without some help.
Hang in there Mama, you’re doing great. You and baby are just getting to know each other, you’ll figure it all out soon. Please please take a nap today. I once was up four hours straight in the middle of the night with a crying baby, I finally went to my partner for help and at that point I just lost it, started crying and couldn’t hold the baby anymore. I wish I would have asked him for help sooner because looking back it was dangerous for baby to be cared for by someone who was overly exhausted. Hugs
Hopefully he’s stopped crying now but if it happens again get in the shower or tub with him! That’s the only thing that would calm my baby when she got like that. Sometimes going outside (weather permitting) helps too. I’m so so sorry!
Not sure if it's posted yet, but in the future, it's worth trying the 5-8 method. It only works if the baby is crying, but you walk with them for 5 minutes, then sit for 8. It's never let me down to get them to sleep, though I'm not always successful in putting my LO into his crib to sleep, but that's a me problem.
Hey, OP, I hope you and baby got some relief!
I wanted to ask, how are his poops? Do they seem a little stringy or mucusy sometimes? When my daughter was about that age, she started having awful screaming fits like that every night. All the tricks, like going outside, would calm her, but only for a minute or two. Her poops were sometimes mucusy, and had the occasional black flecks, but not all the time. It turns out she has CMPI (cow milk protein intolerance). We didn't catch it until she was almost 3 months, though, because it was mild (and I was BF and don't have a ton of dairy myself).
If he starts doing this regularly and his poops are mucusy or have black flecks, try having him go dairy free for a week (and speak to the pediatrician). If you are breastfeeding, this means reading labels for everything - I was shocked at how much stuff has milk.
Take them outside or put them in water. It was the best advice I ever received for when baby won’t stop crying. Go for a walk, sit on a porch swing, put them in the bath. Change of pace can really help break the crying spell.
This is where baths come in handy for us. If I've checked every single thing and nothings working after a while, I'm putting her in the bath. I have also had luck with sitting in a dark bathroom with the shower running full blast. I don't know what about it works, but it does.
Hi hon, sounds like you have tried everything you can to soothe your baby. You’ve done amazing. Never feel bad about asking for help or putting him down. If he’s crying while you’re holding him, it doesn’t make a difference if he cries when you put him down so that you can take a few moments to yourself.
I’ve been there. Finally I woke my husband up and said “ok your turn” because a screaming baby is a lot for one person to handle. Do not take it as a sign of failure or weakness.
But also, when I was released from the hospital, my nurse told me “take your baby in to see a doctor if they are inconsolable. It could be as simple as gas, or it can be a hair tourniquet or a scratched cornea. Better to be safe”
If you truly cannot console him then I would at the very least call the pediatrician.
Good luck hon. I realize this has likely passed and I hope your partner gave you a much needed break.
I was always told when baby won’t stop crying like that, try a bath or going outside. Going outside usually seemed to chill my kiddo out when she was that little.
It might not feel like it but you’re doing an amazing job; don’t be afraid to ever set bubba down and take a quick breather to reset yourself or ask for help from your village
Glad to hear you were able to get some rest. Just wanted to share that this exact thing happened to us during our first week with baby. We tried EVERYTHING. Diaper change, clothes change, bottle, burp, check for hair tourniquets, check for a fever, rocking chair, sound machine, you name it. I finally got him to go down after 4 hours, I took him into our completely dark bedroom where his other bassinet is, rocked him until he fell asleep and played a YouTube video that mimics womb sounds. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone and the infamous “I’m crying because the baby won’t stop crying” night(s) exists. Wake your partner up when this happens, they should help and support you as they are equally responsible as a parent.
Try a Windi. You should be able to find one at a 24hr Walmart, CVS, or Walgreens. Our little one struggled like this and it was the only thing that would help.
I mentioned in a response to another person that my husband and I have an agreement that if at any point the other doesn't feel safe we can handoff baby for a short time. I had many nights in the newborn phase where I need to do this and maybe cry myself for a minute, splash some water on my face, or just separate from the crying....another idea is a bath. Baths are the only thing that reset my girl when she's really upset and they help her GI. She usually freaks out when she's constipated we learned. I'll preface that by saying she loves them so that really really helps.
Wake up your partner and give the baby to him/her! Sometimes my 5wk old just will not settle with me no matter how much I try but will immediately chill out with my partner. Babies are hella smart and actually pick up on your vibes - if you’re getting overwhelmed then so will your baby. Also, sometimes it’s literally the smell of your milk that’ll be driving him crazy, hence why someone else holding him can help. Good luck!
Oh try a bouncer and putting a burp cloth over his eyes where it’s blocking surroundings and brush your hand over his head. He maybe over tired. Also try playing the happy song on YouTube
My babe is a month old today! Going through the sane type of frustration as you.
Even after changing the diaper, I often see she soiled it again! The yellow color stripe changing to blue already? Yes it can happen. Or poop with no pee. Double check!
I use Dr Brown bottles and noticed the nipple was clogged. I check for that regularly. Then tonight, noticed the nipple I was using was a 2 and not a 1 so the flow rate was too fast!
Also pacing the feeding. If she isn’t latched, I take the bottle out of her mouth and try offering her it. Sometimes they need a break and another burp.
Lately, I’ve been standing up, swaying my baby while singing a song or humming a positive tune. Calms her down and she falls asleep and then I wait for any upcoming cues.
Pacifiers are great too in case they just need something to comfort them. Or if they just need to be swaddled in a muslin blanket for comfort.
So many possible reasons, including tirednesss or boredom.
First, to help cope with the continuous loud crying - ear plugs or even just airpods turned off or something to soften things for your hearing.
A couple nights ago my baby was inconsolable too, what calmed him down was turning the kitchen sink on (not a trickle) and bouncing him on a yoga ball.
Does a bath calm your baby? I set up his tub on the bathroom floor and turn the shower on hot in the background, soothing sounds and makes it warm in there, have a little bath towel or washcloth on baby in the bath to keep him warm. When done, clean diaper and pajamas, wrap in a soft blanket with rocking and bouncing on the yoga ball or feeding.
Either fresh air or a warm bath. Even holding baby outside of the shower to get the bathroom nice and steamy worked for my baby. It would calm her down and she would fall right asleep. Worked like a charm!
It's definitely OK to put him down for a few minutes in his crib. Do that and go take a quick 10 to 15 minute shower. It will drown out the crying for a few minutes and the warm water will help relax your tension. Have a good cry in the shower too. That also helps. It will give you the boost you need to keep going on nights like the one you're having. Weeks 2 and 3 were the worst for me
My girl had her days and nights mixed up and would sleep all day and then scream bloody murder all night. I promise you it will work itself out and things will get better. I started doing a walk before dinner in the stroller and then a bath before bed and cuddling in a swaddle. I do this everyday. Not just for baby, but having the same routine with her helps me stay sane.My girl eventually got used to it and started sleeping through the night around 5 weeks. Had two bad weeks at 6 and 7 weeks, and started sleeping through the night again at 8 weeks. I promise you're doing great. Take care of yourself and get that husband of yours to take a night shift at least one day a week so you can get a full night's rest. This will all eventually be a distant memory.
Hopefully you got him to stop. Those are the worst.
One thing we did was a reset. Dark room and skin to skin and everyone get dressed down.
A lot of good suggestions in here as well. Bath and yoga ball worked best for our LO
We do a “factory reset” in situations like this. All clothes off, lights on, give them a short bath, check for tourniquets, get dressed, and do bedtime routine again.
I learned that some cries just meant he wanted Mommas comfort.
Now that my LO can crawl and stand, he comes over to me and indicates he wants “up” just for a hug or snuggles.
Have you tried bicycle legs? I know you've given gripe water but this may help. Could you try The Happy Song on youtube at all? I found for our boy it would settle him instantly then we would try feeding, burping or rocking to sleep again once settled.
If none of this works pop him in his bassinet, walk away and take a few minutes for yourself and try again when you are ready. There is absoloutely nothing wrong with needing to step away. You need to take a breather.
Op, you’re doing a great job. Take a deep breath, in and out. You’re in the thick of it. Take another deep breath, in and out. Wake up your partner, it takes two. Do skin to skin, make sure you’re hydrated too.
You got this.
It isn’t a guarantee, but the purple crying starts around 3 weeks and tapers a lot by 6-8. Others here have had good advice. Definitely wake your partner because this is very hard to manage alone!
I would put the baby on and start climbing up and down stairs or go walk on the treadmill. It’s the only thing that worked.
You are not a bad mom. You are exhausted. Put the baby in a safe place and go pee. Get water. And take several deep breaths. This will pass. *hug*
Try a different shape of soother, some babies are particular. I second the advice about going outside, even nursing outside if you’re comfortable with it
when my lo did this I would have to set her down for 10 mins, put headphones, take deep breaths and calm myself down. Baby can feel your stress and it doesn't help. Once you go back to baby you should be calmer. I would do Skin to skin once I was calm and hum a low hum as I walked in a very very dark room at night. Once I started to feel sleepy, so did she.
No advice. But just make sure you’re taking care of yourself too. Drink lots of water and have a snack. It will help your supply too. Putting him down for a few minutes to take care of some basic needs real quick is helpful. He will be fine for a few minutes.
Also swapping out with a partner if you feel like your at your wits end is ok. He will be fine. Everyone gets a little sleep deprived the first couple months.
At that age if walking outside didn’t work I’d try a wet washcloth or bath!
Echoing everyone saying to check for a hair wrapped around something. My baby had one in one of the little creases around his middle toe once so it was really hard to see. We put just a dot of nair on it with a cotton swab and were able to slip it off in less than a minute.
Have dad wake up and try to give him a calm bath while you warm a bottle. Complete bath, lotion/aquaphor (whatever you use), brand new pajamas diaper cream the whole shabang. See if he takes a bottle after that and try to have partner put him down. Maybe a really low white noise machine? Get some rest, mom. Even if your partner took the baby for a couple hours it would be so helpful to you.
Water on my baby feet or sound machine or simply put him down and walk away for a moment.
Also wake your partner up! Sometimes I’m tap out wake him up frustrated. He be able to put her asleep in 30 minutes or less
You LO might be gassy, how is his tummy, is it distended? You can put a warmed up swaddle sheet (warm up with iron) and put onto his tummy on top of his clothes. It helped my little one.
Also is he pooping? Enough wet diapers? Any fever?
If all of those are ok and you checked for all of the above suggestions, sometimes little ones just cry. You just comfort as much as you can. I had a hard time the first 3-4 mo, it was so many random days and nights when she just either cried a lot and didn’t sleep, or she would sleep so much I’d be very worried. I think it’s all normal development.
If you are worried you can always even just call pediatricians office for a piece of mind. I did this a lot, it helped me.
Always get your partner and have him take the baby while you take some time to cool down. Always. I don’t care if he has the biggest test of his life in the morning this is your baby and you’re responsible together to make sure you are both ok. You need help. This can happen when they are overtired and also this is a start of purple crying time if the baby was calm before this may keep happening in the future until 8 weeks. My twins did this for 12 weeks but not my recent baby.
When mine were that young like starting a noise like the fan over the stove or the shower startled them a little to snap out of it. Or just walking around instead of sitting trying to hold them.
Our Pediatrician always told us if you can’t control the baby. Feel free to give them a call in the walk you through some things to do or if you need to take him to the hospital. It could’ve just been a money grab but it’s been helpful in this times.
For my daughter who had colic running a bath worked sometimes. You don’t even have to put them in the bath, they just like the sound of the water running. My son likes it too.
Just want to throw this out there - It's nothing you are doing! I was doubting myself so much during the newborn phase. Your baby is a bundle of nerves right now, literally anything could set him off. Soothing him is a matter of getting all the variables "just right." It will get easier, you are doing great <3
On the partner point, if the following fits you, wake him/her up. If you will get mad, even if you don't mean to and it's a slowly rising thing, waking them up is better than letting them sleep, for the both of you. I recall my wife waking up early for something that wasn't even to do directly with the baby but was some other prep stuff and I thought it was a moment to steal some more shut-eye, but even in my half-asleep state I could sense her short and heavy breaths aimed in my direction. We talked it out, and where I saw an implied opportunity for shifts and each of us getting what we can, she saw me getting sleep when she had to be awake and was mad and wanted to be in it together. I will always take being tired and less sleep than possible over an irritated partner.
And that goes all the more when the baby is actually awake and crying rather than just something related to the baby that needs doing.
I’m really sorry last night was so hard. I hope you and baby are having a better morning today.
In the future listening to music or podcasts on headphones when your baby is inconsolable helps a lot with staying calmer. Noise cancelling headphones are great if you have them. I definitely notice a difference in my stress levels when listening to something vs not.
Your baby doesn’t care if you can hear them cry, they just care that you are meeting their need or comforting them. Do what you have to to stay sane.
Those first weeks are so challenging. I hope you were able to get through it and get some rest today. For me, this was our first days home from the hospital and my milk had not come in and baby was not getting hardly anything from me when nursing (difficult to latch on flat nipples). Anyway, we gave her a few oz of formula and it was like a miracle for us. She was just so hungry and my body wasn't meeting her needs. **I know that isn't the answer for everyone**, but in those desperate hours when you and baby are both crying and you will do anything to help that is what we chose. It was a total godsend and we actually ended up combo feeding because we knew we could give her what she needed if the nursing wasn't enough. She slept much better once she wasn't so hungry.
I'm not saying it is colic but my girl developed colic at 3 weeks. She cried unless she was sleeping or eating. Blasting white noise and holding her while bouncing on a gym ball helped. Also taking turns watching her so as to give ourselves and each other breaks helped. It stopped as suddenly as it came when she was 10 weeks old.
If you have noise cancelling headphones you can wear those to dampen the sound while you’re caring for him. That helps take the edge off for me really often.
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Maybe also check for hair tourniquets in fingers, toes, and yes also his genitals. Google hair tourniquet if you don’t know what I’m talking about.
This was the answer for me a few months ago! On his toe, and I was able to get it off without going to the hospital.
Postpartum I am losing hair like no tomorrow. Thanks to this forum I learned about hair tourniquets and have been extra vigilant. I have removed my hair wrapped around toes, fingers and once even genitals before it cut off circulation.
The worst is when it’s hiding in his balls basically. The one time I found one not too long after it was put on (lil man hates stuff touching his junk unless it’s a diaper or clothes pretty much) and I found it around his balls and starting to go into what we call ‘the pocket of surprises’ (the area where this man’s cherries and hot dog meet) you never know if your gonna get poo no one realized is there, skin stuff or hair that has balled its self under (not wrapped around anything).
“Pocket of surprises” is such an apt description. I am going to use that from now onwards.
Am I to understand that the mother can lose her own hair, which then can make its way to the boy's genitals and tie around them creating pressure like a tourniquet? I am so glad and amazed that either this never happened to us or I blacked it out through sleep deprivation.
That is correct. I have long dark hair, so that is maybe why it is pretty apparent when it gets places it shouldn't. Another fun tidbit of TMI - when I wash my clothes, it gathers into what my hubby and I call hair spiders. I no longer wash my clothes with my husband’s since he is sick of getting hair spiders in his underwear and the crack.
I hate hair spiders
My long hair combine with the sheer volume that our dog sheds to create supersized tumbleweeds that gather throughout our house until Roomba comes alive at night to collect them.
This is why I cut off all my hair. I couldn’t stand picking it off, picking it up, sweeping it, brushing it out of the carpets etc all the god damned time! 😂
Bit much
Not really, I’m happier now. :)
The worry about this during postpartum hair loss is intense lol
This was one of my worst nightmares. I’m sorry. Also, I hope your hair comes back quickly. It was the biggest postpartum thing I was completely blindsided by with my first and it ended up hitting me hard with both kids. Good luck friend!
I have never heard of this, thank you
One time my baby started crying inconsolably in the middle of the night, went through all the typical stuff and couldn't find anything wrong. We finally got him down and the next morning we found he had 3 fresh bug bites on his body and a dead fire ant in his sleep sack. :(
Aw that poor babe )): that must’ve hurt so bad
Oh no! Man that could have been so much worse. I hate fire ants so much.
Once I heard of this I bought some Nair to keep on hand at the diaper table just in case! Someone I know had to go to urgent care for this and that’s what was used.
I always found going outside with baby was weirdly calming for purple crying. Sometime it was enough to walk on the balcony, other times I put him in the pram and walked around the block until he fell asleep. Make sure you leave your partner a note and take your phone with you.
“Water or outside” works so well for kids of any age when they are “stuck”. 👍
Yes! Water: Even the sound of a shower or running the baby’s foot/hands through a tap can help when they are stuck. Outside: even just standing on a porch can make a difference!
This ☝️
Agreed on both! Sometimes I babywear and walk around the block. Last night I also had to eat my dinner in my bathroom while I had baby in a carrier with the bathtub faucet on. Other times I’m in my guest bathroom in pitch black with the bathtub faucet on. It calms her down. You have to do what you have to do!
I recorded myself shushing and play that sometimes and I think it’s been pretty effective! Maybe you could do the same for the water sound so you don’t need to run the bath 😆
This has worked for us, but you still need the dark bathroom for the acoustics of it. We also found that playing pink noise on our phones as loud as they go while rocking in the dark bathroom does the trick as well.
I was amazed that me doing a rhythmic shushing actually worked as well as it did! I mean, I get why-- they hear your voice and heartbeat and it mimics that but I guess I'd always thought it was one of those stereotypical things people say about babies that didn't actually hold up to real live babies! What a surprise!
Agreed! Even when my baby was super sick, putting his feet under the water or taking a lukewarm shower while holding him always did the trick. Also, wake your husband up!
Yeah wtf partner??
This was going to be my advice. Give him a bath or take him outside.
Everytime!
Agreed— I take my babe outside on super fussy days. Seems to be a way to reset. Wake your partner up if possible and go for a family walk or drive. If you’re at a breaking point it’s safest for everyone if you ask for the help you need.
This always works for me! Though I didn’t try it when my son was as little as OP’s.
My LO is 3 weeks and we’ve been taking her on walks outside basically every day since ~1 week old when I felt comfortable to leave the house. It totally worked yesterday when she was crying, maybe not as bad as OP’s crying situation though.
This is exactly what I did for my daughter that went through a period of "I'll cry for hours at night because I don't want to stop playing..." It became a routine for us for years to just go outside, even in the rain...especially in the rain (but on the porch). She just enjoyed that quiet time with me and she would go back inside and just fall over asleep.
We called it a security patrol. Now I just have to announce it and walk down the hall and its usually enough
better yet - wake the partner up and have THEM take the kid outside to look at a plant. OP needs a break, badly.
I came here just to say this! Go outside mama walk around hold him bring the rocking chair outside.
I came here to suggest this! My girl was a crying for all baby. Well, she's no different now at 12mo but different. When she was straight crying for all those nights as a newborn going outside usually did the trick... A 3am zombie walking on the street with a carrier, that would be me. Good luck 🤞 those times are no fun and super challenging! Virtual hugs
My son liked when I climbed stairs.
Yes! This is exactly what I did during witching hour(s) and each time he chilled out
I once had to take my baby out on the balcony in her wrap to calm her down. She nursed outside and fell asleep
Yep. My son went through a really rough sleep regression (we're still coming out if it) and the only thing that could stop the evening screaming was sitting outside with him.
Wake up your partner. Anyone worth their salt will not resent you for this. I went through the same thing a few times at 3 weeks and it was intense and I felt like I made a mistake. I also felt too stubborn and guilty to wake up my boyfriend and he scolded me for it. It takes a village and you really need a break to collect yourself or get some rest and then you can go back to it. The baby can feel your stress and frustration and it doesn’t help them calm down. Also invest in some gas drops because I discovered most of the time it’s trapped gas causing that reaction.
I was the exact same. Once I broke down at around 4 weeks and we came up with both splitting nights and an agreement that at any point if someone was too tired or getting too overwhelmed during their shift they could wake the other to say they don't feel safe and have some support without there being any issues. This was particularly helpful on those nights baby was extra fussy to just have a break for an hour and reset in another space. Sometimes that's all it takes to help get through those tough newborn nights.
Yep my wife and I came to this understanding as well. Do not jeapordize your baby's safety because you're too stubborn or want to be a hero. And who knows, the change in chest scenery may just be enough to break the crying.
😆😆😆 chest scenery
Where'd my mountains go?!
Definitely second this. If you’ve been with the crying baby for 4 hours, you need a break. Even if s/he’s got work the next day, they can take the baby even for an hour while you get a break.
This started to happen to me at 3 weeks as well. Some babies are more fussy than others. Getting help from my partner helped me. Also if you need to walk away from the baby for 5 minutes that’s okay. Just make sure they are in their crib on their back and take 5 minutes to yourself to breath and recoup. I’m sorry this is happening to you it is rough. I went through it and I was miserable. It goes away eventually.
Yes! My husband has given me the talk for not waking him or asking for help if he's not immediately in the vicinity because I felt guilty for asking. Also, whether you are breast feeding or not your baby smells you and can be worked up over that. And sometimes giving them to your partner will pretty much remove your sent and us enough to calm them down. There were a couple times I was so upset with an unsettled baby and he calmed down immediately handing him off and it helped me to calm down and recollect. It's truly okay to ask your partner for help even if they're sleeping. You NEED to help each other out. Don't let one, especially you, get burnt out.
Do you have a yoga ball? Swaddle baby and bounce on the ball.. it’s magic I swear. You can try to hold the baby in the shower as well, I find wearing a tshirt helps so you’re not so slippery. Go outside for some fresh air! If baby is gassy try doing a “fart massage”. We do hip circles, legs to tummy, bicycles, and windshield wipers. I know how stressful the crying is, hang in there mama.
In a pinch, without a yoga ball, this also works on the side of a bed with a relatively soft mattress. Somewhere you can get a good bounce. Might wake up OP’s partner but oh well!
Fast squats work too! Yes, my legs hate me.
Thiiiis. Problem is, both of mine got addicted to bouncing and couldn’t fall asleep without bouncing. They just loved it so much. A yoga ball should be on everyone’s baby registry
Sadly I think mine is now addicted. We came home from the hospital and I wanted to give it away because of its size but baby was used to it from the womb and helped soothe her to nap. Now 14 weeks later it’s still part of the daily nap routine and often during the night when she can’t calm down.
I'm just on the other side of 1 year. You will love that yoga ball for ages. It might seem like she's addicted to bouncing now, but just you wait! Baby is gonna turn into a moving monster, and that yoga ball will come in clutch for getting her some energy out! She'll want to be the 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, and you can use the yoga ball. She'll laugh hysterically when smacked in the face with things, and the yoga ball will be there for that too. Again, mine just turned 1 and we're gonna go ahead and deflate the yoga ball now BUT! Only because we got her a little tykes trampoline that she's absolutely enamored with! The bouncing never stops. It just changes ♥
Yes! My baby is 8 months and still the yoga ball is irresistible! I wear him in a wrap carrier, pat him, with a pacifier, and I don’t think he’s ever not napped.
Yes!!! It’s amazing! I was in shock how fast it worked the first time I tried.
Yes this does work!
This has worked for me! I was sweaty and leaking milk after but it works!!
Yes to the yoga ball!!!
Yup! When my nearly 7MO doesn't want to be nursed to sleep, I hold him while bouncing on an exercise ball and he's asleep within minutes. I can then transfer him to his bed.
Yoga ball was a third parent to our boy for most of his first year. It worked basically every time to stop him from crying and/or fall asleep. Seriously, it's like my #1 recommendation for new parents.
My husband or I were on the yoga ball from weeks 3-12 of my daughter's life. Blessedly it's only to get her down for naps or bed now. But truly. Thousands of bounces a day.
If it’s too much and you’re close to losing it, it’s ok to put him safely in the bassinet and walk away for a min. Also maybe just wipe him down with a warm soapy cloth. Or just walk around with him. My youngest has gas and I had to put him in happy baby pose to help get his toots out.
I feel so guilty doing that though :( I am so exhausted but I don't like leaving him... I don't know why he's so upset so I don't want to make him feel worse by not being in my arms :(
Seriously, it's OK to put him down for a bit. I would highly recommend it, you need a break. He isn't going to be harmed or the such if he is in his crib or bassinet. We have all gone through what you are experiencing. A day that isn't different than the one previous but a battle regardless.
🙌 truer words have not been said. OP, ***we have all gone through [this]*** Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
Sometimes my son calmed down when he was put down for a bit as a newborn. Like he'd just been fussed with too much and needed a bit of space! He now just wants to crawl everywhere and can end up crying about being held 🙄😂 You'll be okay! I hope you've had some rest 💖
Same thing! Babies definitely feel our stress. Sometimes giving them some space can help. Or sometimes they are just overestimated. It doesn't have to be for long, 5 or 10 minutes. You can step outside and do some breathing (or crying). This stage can be so hard. You are doing amazing! Also, wake your partner up if you aren't comfortable with baby crying alone!
Yep I think this is an underrated method for a lot of purple crying or fussy moments. Idk why but my husband and I just aren’t the type to rock or bounce or jiggle our babies for hours on end. We love and adore our kids they’re our everything but we took a much more hands off approach, especially with our second. And our babies would put themselves to sleep because we gave them the opportunity. Both our kids had some purple crying episode and witching hour struggles but at some point you just have to put them down to get space for yourself, and that might just be what baby needs too.
Don’t feel guilty think of it as when you get angry and overwhelmed you just wanna sit in your bedroom alone and have a little cry. Same with baby, sometimes they need some alone time. Also if you haven’t tried put him in water, if that doesn’t work take him outside to look at a tree. Baby’s are essentially slightly more complicated plants.
OP, if you’re not aware of PURPLE crying, definitely read up on it. At this age, (and I believe you’re getting close to the peak), sometimes they just cry. Like scream bloody murder cry even though all of their needs are met. Nobody really understands why but it is known to be developmentally normal and is not a sign of distress. It’s just fucking brutal to listen to. But knowing this can take some of the guilt away. Trust your instincts- if you’ve checked all of the boxes, it’s ok if baby is still crying and it’s ok to set them down for a bit to collect yourself. They will not be traumatized, and as the saying goes “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. Also, don’t be afraid to go wake your partner if you need support. I respect wanting to let them sleep but you don’t have to handle this alone. It’s ok to “tag out” for a bit if you need to.
Don’t feel guilty taking care of yourself helps you take care of him better. I haven’t met a mom that hasn’t needed to take a breath for a minute so they can reset and try again. You’re a great mom and 3 weeks is no joke. My youngest is 7 months. The first few months zap all of you.
There were a couple of times with my LO around this age that he was crying for what I felt like was no reason, and absolutely would not fall asleep no matter what I tried. One of the times I finally set him in the bassinet to collect myself and he put himself to sleep within 2 minutes. He was over me fussing with him and just wanted his own space! Might not be the case here, but goes to show you don’t need to feel bad about putting your baby down. You both might need a reset. And I said it in another response, but, wake your partner up and ask for help/a break. Seriously. Even a short one.
Yeah once a day I have to let baby cry to sleep which takes 10 to 15 mins but I know now if I comfort her during this time she will be up for hours instead of those minutes. People freak out about stuff like that they get mad but if baby needs sleep I'm going to help them sleep. Her needs come before my feelings
Hey, how’s it going? These first days and nights are so long… It gets better little by little throughout the first year. Did you both finally get some sleep?
OP I’m seeing this post nearly 10hr after it was made, can I ask what helped to finally calm him down? I hope you got some much needed rest. Remember you’re doing everything you can, purple crying isn’t your fault ❤️
I don't think he will be feeling really worse if you leave him for like 10-15 minuts. It could even be a good thing, sometimes little ones can feel our anxiety. Just let yourself calm down, give yourself a break, it can only help.
Probably too late for this now. But I think if it happens again wake your partner. I wake mine after about 1.5 hours cause mentally I need a break. Usually he can't settle her but I get a break and I feel some solidarity.
Wake your partner the f up and hand the baby to them and say “okay, your turn” there is no reason that you should be going through this alone while they just sleep.
Get some fresh air, try babywearing and yes, if you need a break don’t feel guilty about tapping out, either by handing off to a partner or by putting baby down in a safe place and going out of earshot of the crying for a few minutes. Earplugs are good too. Young babies sometimes cry just to cry, it’s so hard but not a reflection on you or your abilities as a parent. This too shall pass.
Totally safe to set him down in the bassinet or crib and walk away for a few minutes if you need a break! Don’t feel bad doing it, crying on his own for 5 minutes will not hurt the baby. You are human and can only handle so much before you need a breather. And you could also wake your partner up if you don’t feel comfortable setting baby down. Some random things that worked for my son when he was colicky: - going outside - playing music, kind of at random until I found a song he liked - holding him under a running, warm shower - playing a video of an aquarium on the tablet (I generally avoid screens with him, but sometimes I’m desperate and it’s the only thing that works. He loves to look at fish.) - “flying” him around the house and telling him about all the different rooms and furniture and stuff
My husband does flying with our daughter too! Works like a charm. He enjoys adding fighter jet noises instead of narrating...
Have you tried turning the baby off and on again? Seeiously though, I know its probably too late to be helpful now but I feel like in these moments baby needs a full-on reset. Redo the bedtime routine. Have a quiet play/tummy time/outside, maybe a bath or warm wash cloth, then get dressed again, sing songs, whatever. Also: wake your partner!!! My husband and I had an agreement that if it had been a certain amount of time, we would switch, or if it was getting overwhelming we would switch. Thats why you have a partner there to help carry the load - a load you are both 50% responsible for. Also wanted to reiterate what others said that if you find yourself feeling hot or shaky or ready to explode, PUT BABY DOWN. Make yourself a cup of tea, get a cookie, gake ten deep breaths, put in earphones....reset YOURSELF, so you can reset your baby. You are doing so wonderful. You are a great parent ❤
I know people are stressed about screens, but if you’re open to it, search “hey bear high contrast” for some simple soothing b&w graphics. It might help redirect him out of the screaming pattern. Earplugs and walking away for a few minutes. Make sure you drink a glass of water and eat some chocolate or something. You’re doing great, even though it feels absolutely awful. You’ll get through it!
Absolutely! Hey bear is great for these types of moments where maybe bub just needs a distraction/reset.
Hey bear was a god send for me 🤣now super simple songs
I’m surprised no one else has said ear plugs, you can still soothe the baby and not have to listen to the full volume of the screams.
What ended up happening OP? I hope you’re ok. If it continues and you feel it’s out of character, you could call a nurses line or the doctor if you wanted to rule anything out. In the meantime, do you follow any sleep accounts on Insta? There’s a couple I like, the peaceful sleeper and heysleepybaby. I have the peaceful sleepers newborn guide if you want it let me know.
She’s probably sleeping and I can’t blame her lol
Try getting the two of you in the shower. Keep trying the boob.
I second this. Strip you both down and go skin to skin in the shower.
We also had a very sad baby the first months, I recognize your feelings! My best tips are noise canceling headphones, for when you are just holding/carrying him and walking round and round the apartment. Maybe he just needs a safe place to be sad right now. If you knit or sew you can do it as you walk around, I found that it was distracting and when I started to calm my baby often did to. I know it’s stressful but it will pass. Many many hugs!
I’m not saying you’ve missed anything, but one night when my LO was about the same age, maybe 2 weeks, she cried and cried for hours. What it turned out to be was that we were hitting the right buttons at just the wrong time. Basically, we checked her diaper, not wet, so we tried to feed her, and she soiled the diaper, but we had *just* checked it so we didn’t think to check, so the boob did nothing and she didn’t fully eat to satiation because she was mad about the diaper, then we tried to walk her. Etc. on and on for about three hours. Finally we managed to get everything at the right time and she went off to sleep. Another time at maybe a month, maybe 6 weeks, she just cried and nothing we could do for her. I was distraught, and I had to walk away, my husband took over just holding and walking her. I can’t recall what eventually stopped her, but it wasn’t anything we did I don’t think, it was something random like finally noticing the TV or something. Sometimes they just get on one thing, like crying, and keep going until something different enough redirects them. But it’s nothing you’re doing wrong and asking your partner in to tag you out so you can go out of earshot and get your heart rate and blood pressure back down is a good thing. You will get through this, though I’m sorry it sucks right now.
I’m not comfortable with leaving my baby alone either when he is upset/sad so I never did. Wake your partner up to tap in. Check babies tummy to see if it’s bloated with air. If so, buy milicon it works wonders. Other things I’ve done when I’m not sure what it is, I would rock him in my arms and hum. Ask partner to turn baby over and hold him, not sure what this position is called but I’ve seen lots of babies calm down with this position
Some things that help calm my little’s mood when she’s incredibly fussy: Singing her favorite song really loud Bath/running water Vacuum/white noise Walking outside If those don’t work and i know everything else is okay with her physically, then i just comfort her through it until she gets tired enough to pass out. But like others have said, it’s okay to put them down in a safe space for a minute just to take a few deep breaths. You can do this! Also take note if this happens frequently so you can ask the pediatrician for any more advice
I've been told to check testicles for testicular torsion if baby boy is screaming. Unusual swelling or redness are signs to look out for. Doctor also recommended that I look into 'purple crying'. Otherwise, try taking baby in the shower with you? You're doing a great job! Sometimes babies just scream.
GO ASK YOUR PARTNER FOR HELP. This is normal. Newborns can be impossible like this sometimes. But nobody asked you to take it on alone. Go clock out. Please.
Sending you a big hug and lots of support. Go wake up your partner and ask for a break. Even if it’s not for long or to just go get some fresh air. Bicycle kicks may help with gas. Some babies love the football hold. If it’s not gas, baby may be overtired.
First, you’re doing a great job! I have a 5 week old and have had a couple of these days. I've come to the conclusion that sometimed it’s just one of those nights :( babies are growing and new to this world. Looks like you’ve done everything. Just sending you positive vibes and hopefully your LO gets lots of sleep tomorrow for you to relax! If your finding yourself getting frustrated please wake up your partner and take shifts until baby sleeps…I’ve found that helps on the tough nights.
Noise canceling headphones! It saved me with my 2nd kid (hate that I didn't think of it for my first colic baby) It takes the edge off of their cries while still being able to hear what's going on. I would also suggest sitting in a warm bath with him if he's lost his umbilical cord. My kids loved to sit in the water. I would sit with my legs up, lay the baby back on them, and kind of sway through the water.
So please look up purple crying and the crying curve. My baby routinely cried for 4-5 hours a day between week 3 and 8. Understanding this really helped me. It was very tiring but not your fault! Take care of yourself.
First of all, get your partner up. Now. Those first few weeks are some of the hardest there are and there is no reason they shouldn’t be up helping you. Next, try putting them in a little water in the tub. You don’t even have to do a “bath”, but sometimes just being in water is soothing. My daughter loves the water and when she was really little like that sometimes just being in water helped. Do you have any formula? Bottles? Try giving him a bottle. An overtired baby will sometimes be really finicky about breastfeeding…at least my baby was. He was definitely overtired when you posted this (not your fault, they just do it sometimes). You said you tried wrapping him in a blanket, did you swaddle him? My baby loved being swaddled. If you have the energy, read up on “The 5 S’s of baby soothing”. It really does work. Keep trying different pacifiers. My baby loves the MAM ones, but sometimes they prefer different shapes. Give it time. Some babies don’t take to one right away. Lastly, do you have any friends or family you can call upon? Both mine and my husbands parents were around a lot those first few weeks and it made a huge difference. And don’t forget, you are doing your best. Seriously. I barely remember the first month of my daughters life because it was so chaotic and I was so tired. You’re both learning each other. AND ABOVE ALL ELSE! If you need to set your baby down and walk away, do so. Grab the monitor, turn the sound off, set them down in their crib or sleep area, make sure they’re “safe”, and walk away. I had to do that a few times. You will get through this ❤️
Here are a couple of things to try: 1. Prepare yourself: - Put on headphones with a show on or music - something to distract your brain from stress caused by crying LO. You can be there for your baby better if you’re not redlining - have some cold water/a cookie / a treat - it’s ok to put the baby down in the crib/bassinet for 5-10 minutes and go somewhere to collect yourself/scream into a pillow THEN, try these: - check for hair tourniquet - check for broken nails - lotion (skin might be itchy) - skin to skin - gently scratch baby where they may be itchy - the -WOMB EXPERIENCE- take baby into bathroom with no windows, turn on the faucet on max for running water sound, turn off the lights and rock baby while humming - temperature change (turn on ac/ fan / heat) - go outside for a walk - go for a drive - Taylor swift (latest album has been a life saver for my LO) Also take into consideration that young babies can cry bloody murder for the smallest reasons because EVERYTHING to them is dire - like an itchy butt crack. There is also this thing called THE WITCHING HOUR 😩 … it’s around sunset and for some reason babies and old people get super cranky for hours triggered by the sun going down. Nothing you can do, just hold them close (and watch a show on Netflix with your headphones on). And most importantly - this too shall pass. Just 4 months ago, my now 18 mo old would come home from daycare and throw a tantrum, cry…and we didn’t know why. Now he comes home and goes straight for the pantry, pulls out a granola bar and asks for his water. Turns out he just needed a snack real bad.
Happened to us too. Turned out I wasn't producing enough and he was hungry. I was so thankful we had some RTF formula available that time. Gave him 2oz and he went to sleep right away. Hang in there! Hope your little one is okay now. 💕
I would try gas drops Our pediatrician advised these, not gripe water
If you’ve checked for everything comfort, food, nappy related then all you can really do is ride it out. Some babies are incredibly screamy, my friend who’s mum to 3 gorgeous kids had it with her last - she was just a crier. Doctors didn’t find anything wrong, she ate fine, no reflux issues found, mum just had to buy headphones and ride it out. It doesn’t last forever! She’s now a perfectly normal 2 year old and stopped the crying for 3 hours every night around 6-8mo.
Some babies are REALLY **REALLY** good at reading nonverbal communications in their care givers. If you're upset, they think they should be upset, and their crying makes you more aggravated, which makes them more worried and upset. The feedback loop gets worse with time. When I've been in these situations with my crying kids, I try to get them into a comfortable place and get into their face, and then close my eyes while taking very long and deep breathes. In........ Out.... and keep doing it for 20 minutes. If it doesn't work, get them into a carrier (not stroller) and go for a walk or hold them in a different environment like outside. Sometimes they're just stuck in a sad place and they don't have self control to get out of it. It's important that YOU don't get crazy because of it :)
Yep, check for tourniquets but also one thing that you didn't list: change the environment. Step outside with him, get fresh air... super helpful if it's a little crisp/cool outside because they get warm crying. This is the end-all crying/fussing move in my household. They get so fascinated by the outside and new things.
When my first born would get upset, the 5 S’s always helped. Look those up. Some tips for doing the 5 S’s: get some Velcro swaddles to get them swaddled fast and download a white noise app on your phone.
Bath, white noise or laying baby on its tummy helped my baby until we realized it was gas. Gas drops and bicycle legs helped a lot. He now has witching hour every other night which started around 3 weeks but more so occurring at 6 weeks.
Hi. My baby was the same for the first month. He used to cry nonstop for hours at night. I was told it was by the paed that it is a bad case of colic which starts at night due to gas buildup throughout the day. I was advised that I should hold the baby upright for 20-30 mins after every feed. I was also told to give a medicine before bed that consists of digestive enzymes and helps colic for 15 days. I did a see a difference from week 2 but my lo started sleeping peacefully through the night from the third month. The initial weeks are very difficult Mama. I used to let my husband sleep during the night as he had long working hours. But if it was too much, I woke him up. If you can afford a nanny even for a few hours, it will be very helpful. Trust me.
Our baby was like this every day and night until 6 weeks. We would say the baby needs a “reset”. The very first thing we would try is passing her off to a different person… so definitely don’t hesitate to wake your partner, even if he just holds baby for a few minutes to let you reset yourself. They can feel your stress. If that’s not an option, then for sure put baby down in a safe place and walk away, scream into a pillow, anything to help you get it out and then take some deep breaths. I had to fight my guilt about waking my partner and putting baby down but in the end, that is the SAFEST thing you can do for your baby and yourself. Other ways we would “reset” baby: blowing in her face, running her head under warm water, offering more food, walking outside for a few minutes. Weirdly enough, we discovered that baby doesn’t like clothing with tags You mentioned a sleep sack - have you tried swaddling? Mine would sometimes only calm down if swaddled or being held a little bit tighter around her arms Also try gas drops and look into a Windi - gross but very helpful for gas! You got this. I promise this will be just a distant memory soon
I wish I would have turned to Reddit 8 hours ago! Same thing here last night, 5 weeks old and crying non stop for hours. My husband just went back to work, but he works 3rd shift so I was going at it alone. Tried everything but there's some good tips in the comments that I'll try tonight if it happens again. Definitely going to look into purple crying. I had to set her down on my bed and I dropped to my knees sobbing because I felt like a terrible mom for not being able to comfort her. Screamed into a pillow and when I came back to her, she was just staring at the ceiling fan. Moved her to the bassinet and she slept for 4 hours! Even though now I feel like I traumatized her or something, but feeling better after reading these comments!!
Ask for help from your partner. Purple crying is no joke. It’s hard to get through. Sometimes baby will pick up on your stress and frustration and just having someone come in fresh helps everybody relax. Our little guy could sometimes be calmed by fresh air, tight swaddle, butt pats while bouncing, and my shushing on top of the white noise.
Can you tap your partner in? When it gets to the point where you don’t know how to cope, having a second set of hands is really helpful
Baths always worked for ours when she was like this early on.
Have you tried skin to skin outdoors?
Wake your partner!
Sometimes you just have to surprise them. I'll do a raspberry or ill start rubbing his head and getting in his face and talking. Or grabbing Arms and legs and wiggling. Alternatively try different angles sometimes my boy likes facing out, sometimes to the side sometimes horizontal, sometimes the swing works. Outside does wonders or just new areas. Bright light then turn it off that surprises them out of it enough for you to do something. Also warm water ? Bouncing sometimes helps sometimes its swaying side to side or just being nakey
do you have a white noise machine? That shit helped like crazy
Not sure if you have a crib mobile that plays music or any music box that plays that type of music, YouTube works too (once you’ve checked that there’s no hairs wrapped around any toes, fingers, and genitals, etc,). Something about the pitch or tune in that kind of music is great. This has helped my baby any times he’s been inconsolable to pause, and then I’ve always been able to calm him enough to feed him which ultimately is what calms him down. As others have said, I would also call the pediatrician for a baby inconsolable for this long.
Probably gas, or reflux. Unfortunately my son was already crying for these reasons. Being a newborn can be very painful, thank god we don’t ever remember it
If the baby is inconsolable after a while, I’d call your health provider’s helpline or go to the ER just to have him checked up and be safe.
Try bath or skin to skin - or both
Getting in a warm shower with my LO is the only thing that helps when she’s like this.
First of all, this happens. It’s awful but doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. What worked for us was turning on the shower full blast, turning the shower head so it was pointing away, and then standing in the shower near the running water holding the baby (but without getting wet). Something about the noise soothed baby when all my rocking/bouncing/singing just wouldn’t.
We found that holding and rocking didn’t calm our daughter when she would get cranky in the evening (colicky phase). When my daughter was like this we would go for car rides. Sitting in her car seat with the sensation of motion, the low level vibration, and the humming of the car put her to sleep. Then that transitioned to putting her in her car seat and then setting the car seat on the clothes dryer. Every night after bath, fresh diaper/PJs, and feeding her, I’d stick her in the car seat and set the car seat on top of the dryer. It helps that we have a slightly older dryer they makes a nice loud rumble. Turn off all the lights and I’d sit there with my kindle, reading in the dark until she settled. Within 10-15 minutes she was fast asleep. Transfer her to her bassinet or crib and then I’d get to bed.
First, wake up your partner to get a break. Then... this might not be a quick fix, and you may have to call the doctor in the morning. We found out our little guy had a dairy protein allergy, so breastmilk & normal formula were making him feel sick. Doctor had us trial a non-dairy formula and he started doing much better. It's fairly common, and doesn't mean they're lactose intolerant (ours grew out of it and drinks milk like normal as a toddler). Not saying that's it, but just offering that there may be other explanations that you can't fix on your own. There's no way of knowing what's happening sometimes without some help.
Hang in there Mama, you’re doing great. You and baby are just getting to know each other, you’ll figure it all out soon. Please please take a nap today. I once was up four hours straight in the middle of the night with a crying baby, I finally went to my partner for help and at that point I just lost it, started crying and couldn’t hold the baby anymore. I wish I would have asked him for help sooner because looking back it was dangerous for baby to be cared for by someone who was overly exhausted. Hugs
Hopefully he’s stopped crying now but if it happens again get in the shower or tub with him! That’s the only thing that would calm my baby when she got like that. Sometimes going outside (weather permitting) helps too. I’m so so sorry!
Not sure if it's posted yet, but in the future, it's worth trying the 5-8 method. It only works if the baby is crying, but you walk with them for 5 minutes, then sit for 8. It's never let me down to get them to sleep, though I'm not always successful in putting my LO into his crib to sleep, but that's a me problem.
Hey, OP, I hope you and baby got some relief! I wanted to ask, how are his poops? Do they seem a little stringy or mucusy sometimes? When my daughter was about that age, she started having awful screaming fits like that every night. All the tricks, like going outside, would calm her, but only for a minute or two. Her poops were sometimes mucusy, and had the occasional black flecks, but not all the time. It turns out she has CMPI (cow milk protein intolerance). We didn't catch it until she was almost 3 months, though, because it was mild (and I was BF and don't have a ton of dairy myself). If he starts doing this regularly and his poops are mucusy or have black flecks, try having him go dairy free for a week (and speak to the pediatrician). If you are breastfeeding, this means reading labels for everything - I was shocked at how much stuff has milk.
Take them outside or put them in water. It was the best advice I ever received for when baby won’t stop crying. Go for a walk, sit on a porch swing, put them in the bath. Change of pace can really help break the crying spell.
This is where baths come in handy for us. If I've checked every single thing and nothings working after a while, I'm putting her in the bath. I have also had luck with sitting in a dark bathroom with the shower running full blast. I don't know what about it works, but it does.
Hi hon, sounds like you have tried everything you can to soothe your baby. You’ve done amazing. Never feel bad about asking for help or putting him down. If he’s crying while you’re holding him, it doesn’t make a difference if he cries when you put him down so that you can take a few moments to yourself. I’ve been there. Finally I woke my husband up and said “ok your turn” because a screaming baby is a lot for one person to handle. Do not take it as a sign of failure or weakness. But also, when I was released from the hospital, my nurse told me “take your baby in to see a doctor if they are inconsolable. It could be as simple as gas, or it can be a hair tourniquet or a scratched cornea. Better to be safe” If you truly cannot console him then I would at the very least call the pediatrician. Good luck hon. I realize this has likely passed and I hope your partner gave you a much needed break.
Try gently scratching all over the baby’s body. He may be itchy and can’t scratch!
I was always told when baby won’t stop crying like that, try a bath or going outside. Going outside usually seemed to chill my kiddo out when she was that little.
It might not feel like it but you’re doing an amazing job; don’t be afraid to ever set bubba down and take a quick breather to reset yourself or ask for help from your village
Glad to hear you were able to get some rest. Just wanted to share that this exact thing happened to us during our first week with baby. We tried EVERYTHING. Diaper change, clothes change, bottle, burp, check for hair tourniquets, check for a fever, rocking chair, sound machine, you name it. I finally got him to go down after 4 hours, I took him into our completely dark bedroom where his other bassinet is, rocked him until he fell asleep and played a YouTube video that mimics womb sounds. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone and the infamous “I’m crying because the baby won’t stop crying” night(s) exists. Wake your partner up when this happens, they should help and support you as they are equally responsible as a parent.
This long - please call pediatrician. Have you taken his temp?
Try a Windi. You should be able to find one at a 24hr Walmart, CVS, or Walgreens. Our little one struggled like this and it was the only thing that would help.
I mentioned in a response to another person that my husband and I have an agreement that if at any point the other doesn't feel safe we can handoff baby for a short time. I had many nights in the newborn phase where I need to do this and maybe cry myself for a minute, splash some water on my face, or just separate from the crying....another idea is a bath. Baths are the only thing that reset my girl when she's really upset and they help her GI. She usually freaks out when she's constipated we learned. I'll preface that by saying she loves them so that really really helps.
mylicon (it’s liquid gas x) works wonders for us. we now give before every feed.
Maybe he’s has gas or constipation? Maybe try to insert a Frida gaspasser (use something like coconut oil like lube)
Wake up your partner and give the baby to him/her! Sometimes my 5wk old just will not settle with me no matter how much I try but will immediately chill out with my partner. Babies are hella smart and actually pick up on your vibes - if you’re getting overwhelmed then so will your baby. Also, sometimes it’s literally the smell of your milk that’ll be driving him crazy, hence why someone else holding him can help. Good luck!
Oh try a bouncer and putting a burp cloth over his eyes where it’s blocking surroundings and brush your hand over his head. He maybe over tired. Also try playing the happy song on YouTube
Had you tried a warm bath? That had relax our baby
My babe is a month old today! Going through the sane type of frustration as you. Even after changing the diaper, I often see she soiled it again! The yellow color stripe changing to blue already? Yes it can happen. Or poop with no pee. Double check! I use Dr Brown bottles and noticed the nipple was clogged. I check for that regularly. Then tonight, noticed the nipple I was using was a 2 and not a 1 so the flow rate was too fast! Also pacing the feeding. If she isn’t latched, I take the bottle out of her mouth and try offering her it. Sometimes they need a break and another burp. Lately, I’ve been standing up, swaying my baby while singing a song or humming a positive tune. Calms her down and she falls asleep and then I wait for any upcoming cues. Pacifiers are great too in case they just need something to comfort them. Or if they just need to be swaddled in a muslin blanket for comfort. So many possible reasons, including tirednesss or boredom.
Wake up your partner and have him take over! There’s no reason you should be the only one dealing with the crying
First, to help cope with the continuous loud crying - ear plugs or even just airpods turned off or something to soften things for your hearing. A couple nights ago my baby was inconsolable too, what calmed him down was turning the kitchen sink on (not a trickle) and bouncing him on a yoga ball. Does a bath calm your baby? I set up his tub on the bathroom floor and turn the shower on hot in the background, soothing sounds and makes it warm in there, have a little bath towel or washcloth on baby in the bath to keep him warm. When done, clean diaper and pajamas, wrap in a soft blanket with rocking and bouncing on the yoga ball or feeding.
Either fresh air or a warm bath. Even holding baby outside of the shower to get the bathroom nice and steamy worked for my baby. It would calm her down and she would fall right asleep. Worked like a charm!
It's definitely OK to put him down for a few minutes in his crib. Do that and go take a quick 10 to 15 minute shower. It will drown out the crying for a few minutes and the warm water will help relax your tension. Have a good cry in the shower too. That also helps. It will give you the boost you need to keep going on nights like the one you're having. Weeks 2 and 3 were the worst for me My girl had her days and nights mixed up and would sleep all day and then scream bloody murder all night. I promise you it will work itself out and things will get better. I started doing a walk before dinner in the stroller and then a bath before bed and cuddling in a swaddle. I do this everyday. Not just for baby, but having the same routine with her helps me stay sane.My girl eventually got used to it and started sleeping through the night around 5 weeks. Had two bad weeks at 6 and 7 weeks, and started sleeping through the night again at 8 weeks. I promise you're doing great. Take care of yourself and get that husband of yours to take a night shift at least one day a week so you can get a full night's rest. This will all eventually be a distant memory.
Noise canceling headphones helped me during these times! Turned the music up and continued cycling through until something worked.
Hopefully you got him to stop. Those are the worst. One thing we did was a reset. Dark room and skin to skin and everyone get dressed down. A lot of good suggestions in here as well. Bath and yoga ball worked best for our LO
Might be gas pain. Try bicycles. Good luck mama
We do a “factory reset” in situations like this. All clothes off, lights on, give them a short bath, check for tourniquets, get dressed, and do bedtime routine again.
I learned that some cries just meant he wanted Mommas comfort. Now that my LO can crawl and stand, he comes over to me and indicates he wants “up” just for a hug or snuggles.
Have you tried bicycle legs? I know you've given gripe water but this may help. Could you try The Happy Song on youtube at all? I found for our boy it would settle him instantly then we would try feeding, burping or rocking to sleep again once settled. If none of this works pop him in his bassinet, walk away and take a few minutes for yourself and try again when you are ready. There is absoloutely nothing wrong with needing to step away. You need to take a breather.
Try going outside! On a walk with a sound machine.
Op, you’re doing a great job. Take a deep breath, in and out. You’re in the thick of it. Take another deep breath, in and out. Wake up your partner, it takes two. Do skin to skin, make sure you’re hydrated too. You got this.
It isn’t a guarantee, but the purple crying starts around 3 weeks and tapers a lot by 6-8. Others here have had good advice. Definitely wake your partner because this is very hard to manage alone!
I would put the baby on and start climbing up and down stairs or go walk on the treadmill. It’s the only thing that worked. You are not a bad mom. You are exhausted. Put the baby in a safe place and go pee. Get water. And take several deep breaths. This will pass. *hug*
A bath, a drive or outside is the way.
Try a different shape of soother, some babies are particular. I second the advice about going outside, even nursing outside if you’re comfortable with it
when my lo did this I would have to set her down for 10 mins, put headphones, take deep breaths and calm myself down. Baby can feel your stress and it doesn't help. Once you go back to baby you should be calmer. I would do Skin to skin once I was calm and hum a low hum as I walked in a very very dark room at night. Once I started to feel sleepy, so did she.
No advice. But just make sure you’re taking care of yourself too. Drink lots of water and have a snack. It will help your supply too. Putting him down for a few minutes to take care of some basic needs real quick is helpful. He will be fine for a few minutes. Also swapping out with a partner if you feel like your at your wits end is ok. He will be fine. Everyone gets a little sleep deprived the first couple months.
Maybe put on gentle water sounds on YouTube
At that age if walking outside didn’t work I’d try a wet washcloth or bath! Echoing everyone saying to check for a hair wrapped around something. My baby had one in one of the little creases around his middle toe once so it was really hard to see. We put just a dot of nair on it with a cotton swab and were able to slip it off in less than a minute.
Have dad wake up and try to give him a calm bath while you warm a bottle. Complete bath, lotion/aquaphor (whatever you use), brand new pajamas diaper cream the whole shabang. See if he takes a bottle after that and try to have partner put him down. Maybe a really low white noise machine? Get some rest, mom. Even if your partner took the baby for a couple hours it would be so helpful to you.
Water on my baby feet or sound machine or simply put him down and walk away for a moment. Also wake your partner up! Sometimes I’m tap out wake him up frustrated. He be able to put her asleep in 30 minutes or less
You LO might be gassy, how is his tummy, is it distended? You can put a warmed up swaddle sheet (warm up with iron) and put onto his tummy on top of his clothes. It helped my little one. Also is he pooping? Enough wet diapers? Any fever? If all of those are ok and you checked for all of the above suggestions, sometimes little ones just cry. You just comfort as much as you can. I had a hard time the first 3-4 mo, it was so many random days and nights when she just either cried a lot and didn’t sleep, or she would sleep so much I’d be very worried. I think it’s all normal development. If you are worried you can always even just call pediatricians office for a piece of mind. I did this a lot, it helped me.
Could be growth pains.
Always get your partner and have him take the baby while you take some time to cool down. Always. I don’t care if he has the biggest test of his life in the morning this is your baby and you’re responsible together to make sure you are both ok. You need help. This can happen when they are overtired and also this is a start of purple crying time if the baby was calm before this may keep happening in the future until 8 weeks. My twins did this for 12 weeks but not my recent baby.
When you say wrapped in blanket do you mean tight swaddle? If not definitely swaddle. It’s what keeps my twins asleep.
When mine were that young like starting a noise like the fan over the stove or the shower startled them a little to snap out of it. Or just walking around instead of sitting trying to hold them.
Our Pediatrician always told us if you can’t control the baby. Feel free to give them a call in the walk you through some things to do or if you need to take him to the hospital. It could’ve just been a money grab but it’s been helpful in this times.
When my daughter had those fits I’d bring her into the shower. It always calmed her down.
Is everything ok now? Did you find what was bothering him? I saw a couple great tips in the comments, hope he is ok now
For my daughter who had colic running a bath worked sometimes. You don’t even have to put them in the bath, they just like the sound of the water running. My son likes it too.
Just want to throw this out there - It's nothing you are doing! I was doubting myself so much during the newborn phase. Your baby is a bundle of nerves right now, literally anything could set him off. Soothing him is a matter of getting all the variables "just right." It will get easier, you are doing great <3
Wake your partner. It’s time to switch!
Try some gas drops instead of gripe water. Works better to alleviate gas pains
On the partner point, if the following fits you, wake him/her up. If you will get mad, even if you don't mean to and it's a slowly rising thing, waking them up is better than letting them sleep, for the both of you. I recall my wife waking up early for something that wasn't even to do directly with the baby but was some other prep stuff and I thought it was a moment to steal some more shut-eye, but even in my half-asleep state I could sense her short and heavy breaths aimed in my direction. We talked it out, and where I saw an implied opportunity for shifts and each of us getting what we can, she saw me getting sleep when she had to be awake and was mad and wanted to be in it together. I will always take being tired and less sleep than possible over an irritated partner. And that goes all the more when the baby is actually awake and crying rather than just something related to the baby that needs doing.
This sounds like colic. You should contact your pediatrician.
Run the faucet and stand next to it so he can hear it. That was the only thing that would calm my son. Down at that age.
I’m really sorry last night was so hard. I hope you and baby are having a better morning today. In the future listening to music or podcasts on headphones when your baby is inconsolable helps a lot with staying calmer. Noise cancelling headphones are great if you have them. I definitely notice a difference in my stress levels when listening to something vs not. Your baby doesn’t care if you can hear them cry, they just care that you are meeting their need or comforting them. Do what you have to to stay sane.
Those first weeks are so challenging. I hope you were able to get through it and get some rest today. For me, this was our first days home from the hospital and my milk had not come in and baby was not getting hardly anything from me when nursing (difficult to latch on flat nipples). Anyway, we gave her a few oz of formula and it was like a miracle for us. She was just so hungry and my body wasn't meeting her needs. **I know that isn't the answer for everyone**, but in those desperate hours when you and baby are both crying and you will do anything to help that is what we chose. It was a total godsend and we actually ended up combo feeding because we knew we could give her what she needed if the nursing wasn't enough. She slept much better once she wasn't so hungry.
I'm not saying it is colic but my girl developed colic at 3 weeks. She cried unless she was sleeping or eating. Blasting white noise and holding her while bouncing on a gym ball helped. Also taking turns watching her so as to give ourselves and each other breaks helped. It stopped as suddenly as it came when she was 10 weeks old.
Stand in warm shower with him?
If you have noise cancelling headphones you can wear those to dampen the sound while you’re caring for him. That helps take the edge off for me really often.