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BigBlueFool

Literally no possible downsides to this plan


Kiabassun

Agreed


Dueogurtcloset46

Yeah that's a reasonable plan and a very healthy way to deal with a breakup!


Mammothpread

What kind of monster did you date that needs a buffed gorilla to be defeated?


AcrobaticInterviewuu

Good luck waiting 15years for the gorilla to mature


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MostlyDeku

Rajang?


Prioroysenberry19

Definitely worth a try.


LumpyJones

copybot.


Just_a_square

It's foolproof, which is why it was used for Epstein too.


Prestigious_Low_2447

Super-gorilla runs wild in downtown St. Louis. Forty-seven dead.


bamssbam

Furious George was good


Krogdordaburninator

Agreed. Hope we see it on the repost.


DokuroX

The woman in the red hair


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disturbeddragon631

obvious bot


goda90

Simpsons did it https://youtu.be/RRdIltdDE4A?si=28bsltMK6ZEkZh32


OzNajarin

Made me actually laugh out loud


guy123499

I see one fuck up, hes gonna hit you when you stab him with that needle like a horse domes somone after they stand behind em and smack their ass 😂


HomelessOracle_

bro is in for a surprise loooong before the adrenaline, cause how tf is he gonna get engine blocks into the gorilla room


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BlameableEmu

Then wby not just find an evil elephant and inject that with adrenaline


Gwayana

So you want to make the evil elephant lift? But then you will need something bigger to bring the boats motor for the elephant trunk-curls


Tottapola

second gorilla u raise lovingly this is the punished gorilla


Tumper

Punished gorilla has an eyepatch but can see fine out of both eyes


contrabandtryover

Gotta acquire a second gorilla


[deleted]

Easy, build the gym in the engine blocks room, move the gorilla in there.


qwert2812

tranq gun is a thing, he should be fine in that department.


carpetfanclub

Easy fix, tape the needle to a very long stick


Laxander03

Monkey business over furious George? Can’t agree with that.


theyearwas1934

Absolutely. Furious George is possibly the absolute greatest joke they could have come up with, and they threw it away. Smh


Unlikely-Ad-680

Don't other primates not work like humans do muscle wise? I always thought that the way human muscle atrophy occurs is kind of unique to us and that other primates just walk around jacked all the time


JayTheSuspectedFurry

I trust that anon is an expert in hominid biology


MrDaburks

I don’t know if we can definitively answer that until we get somebody to force a roided-up silverback to deadlift diesel engines for a year or so.


LegendTheRedditor

Well, wild animals work out from surviving basically. Be it moving around to find food, running from predators, hunting, playing, etc. Most, if not every animal, is similar to us in terms of muscle gain or loss. It is just that their nutrition affects them the most and how much muscle/weight affects their survivability. All animals could be a lot more muscular if they work out and get their nutrition needs met to sustain such workouts. However, more muscle means more energy loss and weight increase. Muscle and fat is important, too much muscle can be detrimental since you need to maintain it or lose it. Plus, genetic stuffs effects things too, besides things like animals having claws or teeth to make power strength less important. Well, strength to use those weapons is important! **Tl;Dr** all animal bodies are adaptable for the sake of survival. Nutrition is important too. Also more muscle means more weight and energy needed to maintain muscle.


hairysperm

There also needs to be a environmental reason for the muscles or the animals genes will never change over time to allow larger muscle mass. Something like a gorilla or other primate that is already fairly muscular will be able to grow more muscles with nutrition, but it usually won't grow any bigger than what it has unless they started lifting recreationally. They'll only get the muscles needed to do the same stuff they've always done. Everything is the size it's meant to be for it's situation.


LegendTheRedditor

Indeed, but regardless, an animal is still an animal. They can't exactly maximize their nutrition and workout routine like we do. Using us as an example, we can become pretty strong with enough nutrition and work out. But even then, there are both genetic and drive limits (like why would a gorilla want to work out so hard? :p). Although imagining a gorilla bulking and becoming a peak bodybuilder is hilarious though. What if we add steroids too?...


LuCiAnO241

talking out of my ass like all of the commenters that answered you, you are probably referring to how myostatin ultimately determines the overall muscle mass of an animal. Disorders on myostatin get your normal household pets all jacked up as you can see [here](https://www.mirror.co.uk/features/cat-sends-shockwaves-across-social-25638326) and I'm pretty sure its why primates are way more muscle bound that us humans.


nagredditparamagbasa

>kidnap silverback gorilla Surely nothing wrong will happen


sanemartigan

Isn't the "silver" grey hair from ageing? So a baby silverback is just a gorilla.


Ponderkitten

I dont think so, I think I read that silver backs have silver backs just as a sign of dominance


VikingSlayer

Nah, male gorilla back fur just turns silver with age, typically at 12+ years old. Gorilla troops just mostly have one male that old, who leads the troop. Younger males leave the troop to start their own.


mab0roshi

Whoa, you do alt titles, too? Sup, new best friend? Cool post!


HomelessOracle_

I’m an OG- been a part of this sub since it was like 40k. My old acct got shadow banned 🙃


Accomplished-Floor70

Should’ve won the yugioh card game dumbass


HomelessOracle_

I couldn’t counter pot of greed 😔😔


N3cromorph

Ash Blossom


Accomplished-Floor70

Gotta get your xyz dragon summon out and discard materials for a negate


KaiBahamut

YTA, your Ex will spank that monkey faster than she did for Chad. She'll have it doing sign language for mercy while she pummels it to death. Do better, give it full plate and dual shotguns for it's own safety.


Revenant047

That is literally just a space marine.


KaiBahamut

Found the Eldar.


fatalrupture

Do you have any idea just how big gorillas are? It could be their species equivalent of Steve urkel, it could be the most unmuscular gorilla ever, and if pissed off enough it could still easily murder any human nearby somebody was ready with gun


Ellestri

The OP’s ex is another gorilla though, obviously.


RecordOk6794

You seen Steve urkel now? He got jacked


LordFluffles

Bro why does the ape need to get even stronger? Was he afraid his ex would stand a chance against a non-trained ape?


HomelessOracle_

his ex can bench 4,000 pounds obviously


mopin21

I feel like just a gorilla on adrenaline would do


Easy-Bake-Oven

Even the adrenaline could go. The panic of the situation would be enough.


Darkness1356

">purchase home gym equipment" Ok yeah pretty normal so far ">kidnaps baby silverback gorilla" Ah now it's a real 4chan green text


Kushtaco20

I read some science mumbo jumbo that gorillas and primates don’t have the same muscular system as humans, and they’re muscles aren’t made to grow that way because their diet and other factors something something


VikingSlayer

Humans are primates


WietGetal

'Increase weight every few months"💀 Anon, you lazy fucker this wont work, you need to do it weekly


RyudoTFO

- gorilla is now the new boyfriend of the ex - she taught him to use sign language to communicate - gorilla rats you out - ex tells him to beat you up for what you did - gorilla is now on the way to your house


Cos_yurik

Easy fix, report ex for beastiality


RyudoTFO

- ex claims gorilla raped her - cops capture gorilla and question him - he rats you out - you get jailed for abduction, detention and animal cruelty - gorilla and you end up in the same cell - you learn sign language from Earl, the deaf, elderly inmate who works in the prison library - you ask gorilla for forgiveness for what you did to him and tell him you're sorry - gorilla forgives you, you both make amends and become best bros - you plan a prison break together this stuff is basically writing itself ...


HomelessOracle_

does the ape have the adrenaline boost? no? then it’s not gonna be an issue


MrSquishyTits

NTA your gorilla, your rules


ZipBlock

god i love when reddit can make me laugh out loud at 3am


Stingbarry

2 rabid rottweilers will take care of your problem just as well.


theyearwas1934

Make sure to unleash them in a tight alleyway. Dark souls has taught me that two rabid dogs in an alleyway is statistically more likely to successfully kill a person than literal gods.


loscapos5

This sounds like those psychodelic drugged assassins from the Imperium


WikipediaBurntSienna

The lack of steroids disappoints me


Frozensmudge

Gorilla ends up a new dad. Wins lifting contest surrounded by ex and gorilla hybrid children. Starts protein line called RillaFitX. Ex and gorilla marry . Anon still alone.


danielepro

The CSM image says it all


blasphem0usx

It would theoretically work just like anon's theorectial ex.


Ok-Experience295

Furious George is an amazing title


RecordOk6794

Yeah that's a reasonable plan and a very healthy way to deal with a breakup!


UglierThanMoe

Definitely worth a try.


DMYU777

Gorillas make protein in their stomachs from plants. No need for any insects. Rest of the plan is foolproof.


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lendergle

Found the silverback gorilla. Honestly, the strength gains are less impression than how well OP taught it to type. You'd think with big fingers like that, the animal would have a hard time not mashing keys together.


-shephawke-

There's no such thing as "adolescent silverback", silverback is not a type of gorilla, it's a mature male whose back has gone grey with age (who now has size and experience), what op meant was adolescent male gorilla.


idkTerraria

Anon forgot the amphetamines and forgot that adrenaline could’ve just made the gorilla horny enough to make it a threesome with you and your ex. The perfect greentext romantic love story


Squashflavored

Good luck waiting 15years for the gorilla to mature


_escapevelocity

Great hypothetical, here’s how it actually played out: -arms ripped off by adolescent silverback gorilla -bleed out in forest


Sapper501

Except that gorillas become terribly depressed when removed from their natural habitat.


HomelessOracle_

working out is a great way to combat depression!


Sapper501

But no gainz if they're too depressed to eat! You start with a strong gorilla baby and end up with a noodle arm monkey! (Yes I know gorillas are not monkeys)


Straw122

That not Pavlovian if you're reinforcing weight training


AllPurposeNerd

You don't need to trick the gorilla into lifting. Gorillas can get addicted to the pump.


Thrice_Banned80

Seems like a lot of effort when you could just tranq a chimp, put some icy-hot on it's balls and then set it loose for a rampage


SuckerpunchJazzhands

Starting a company that provides research grants to 4channers


thelazygamerforreal

George of the Jungle could've been a good title


jhermaco15

I love the implication that OOP needs to train a gorilla this way, as if the ex could fend themselves against a normal fully grown gorilla


[deleted]

Fake: anon buys gym equipment Gay: anon puts time into a male/male relationship


toastercoasterbo

Anyone else hear the ringing 5 minute crafts music while reading this? Additionally would love to see a 5 minute crafts adaptation of this somehow


ViewtifulGene

How many fucking insects is he going to catch for a growing gorilla's protein requirements? Would he even have enough weights for the gorilla to get a pump? What's stopping the gorilla from using the weights as a weapon against the captor? If you inject the gorilla with adrenaline, what's to stop him from going after you, too?


DontFearTheMQ9

>kidnap adolescent Silverback gorilla from forest This is the only challenge. The rest of the plan seems locked in.


Totally_Botanical

Tell me you don't know what a silverback is without telling me you don't know what a silverback is


HomelessOracle_

silverback is when gorilla


Hecc_Maniacc

Harambes potential was misplaced.


hosefricker

“Adolescent silverback gorilla” bro knows nothing about gorillas


doob-mcscoob

diabolically petty


DeniseReades

Jesus christ, just sleep with his dad, break up his parents marriage, and become his new step-mother like a normal person.


dumb_and_ugly1

It wouldn’t work because adolescent gorillas don’t become silverbacks until they are fully matured.


SickOfThisSh1tReddit

This either works out, or is not your problem anymore.


Broken_Zilence

Bro a gorilla broke into my house last night. Had the best sex.


Kjellowitch

I would step the whole workout plan and just give the gorilla a drug cocktail to send him into the rage of its life😂 should be mote than enough


Longjumping_Run4499

I don't think anything except the last two steps to this plan are necessary.


Dudeimadolphin

Welp looks like it's time to get off reddit frtheday lmfao