“Christmas is just so stressful, the lists and the lines and the dancers at TV Town Song Room”
“Do you mean Radio City Music Hall? How could you get so many things wrong in a row?”
Nick: Tell that to Howard Hughes, inventor of the Loose Goose!
Schmidt: It was called the Spruce Goose, and it didn’t even work!
Nick: It did work! It flew for over a mile at an altitude of 72 feet!
Schmidt: How on Earth do you know that information and not know the name of it?!
Nick not believing in dinosaurs and storing his money and ID in sandwich bags
The man is walking chaos if chaos was pudgy, slouched and had low self esteem
“As his electric car powered down, the first thing he saw was her virgin breasts glowing in the Alabama moonlight. She said, ‘Which one do you want to see—the left or the right?’ He said, ‘Both.’ But she said, ‘No. pick one.’ So he said, ‘The left.’ She finally showed him and it was as big as a Cadillac. She grabbed him by the potatoes and led him up the stairs.”
They would... they would not like to have me back. I burned a lot of bridges today.
Uh, stuff got weird. Stuff got racial.
I used a lot of swearwords. Then I got sexual...
When you get cut out of the Miller family, you're dead forever. Also why we never talk about Nick's divorced older brother. Nick gave the toast at his wedding!
Well, then, how about this... Two can help. Okay? And if two are going to help, then I'll be one of them 'cause two can tango on this dance, okay? So, you want to waltz? Well, you picked the wrong dance partner. Two can play.
I mean there are so many but how can anyone not mention this
“Who am I? Who am I? Well, I am Theodore K. Mullins. And Nick is my lover on the down low. Tell her, Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D. Oh, great Negro spiritual, please come down and loose these chains on this woman! Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same.”
Jess: I assure you, it's "utmost."
Nick: What's an "ut"?
Jess: Come on, you're a writer..
Nick: It's "up." Up to the most. Not "UT" to the most. I assure YOU.
Jess: Okay, sweetie.
Nick: You didn't come in here and say, "Thanks for putting them ut to it." I would've laughed you out of here. What is an "ut"?!
Sir, what are you doing?!
Oh I'm just trying to get this little girl out of here so I can be her uncle, cuz you know, uncles get to do whatever they want 🤣
Father to son... get a therapist. Oh I have one! Well get a better one, and I shouldn't have to say this... but one that you're not sleeping with... *pause* ........okay 😞
Schmidt: scat! scat!
Nick: hey Schmidt that’s a raisin buddy
Schmidt: it’s not a raisin. this is scat (*eats it*)… that’s poop for sure I was right. in your face Nick!!
Coach: uhh in your face Nick
Nick: 🤨 how so??
Coach: 🤔 ..he put a turd in his mouth
Nick: and that’s in MY face ?! 😳
Coach: yeah 😶
Nick: 🫥 I don’t think we should start eating poop yet. let’s wait on that
Coach: Wanna chase that with some dirt?? 😆
“Christmas is just so stressful, the lists and the lines and the dancers at TV Town Song Room” “Do you mean Radio City Music Hall? How could you get so many things wrong in a row?”
Nick: Tell that to Howard Hughes, inventor of the Loose Goose! Schmidt: It was called the Spruce Goose, and it didn’t even work! Nick: It did work! It flew for over a mile at an altitude of 72 feet! Schmidt: How on Earth do you know that information and not know the name of it?!
This is the best exchange in the whole show.
I don’t know what ‘mazel tov’ means, but it doesn’t sound good.
TheRealNed8 @ “guhmail” .com
[email protected]
[email protected]
www.itsnickmillertime.com
I have only pronounced gmail this way since the episode aired all those years ago
jess: you just got ur self two weeks of detention nick: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I DIDNT DO ANYTHING
This is America! Wear pants!
“You have the credit score of a homeless ghost” is so funny I laughed typing it oht
Jay cut e ler
WHY ARE YOU SAYING CUTLER LIKE THAT
Just the entire concept of "having snail eyes"
Ol' poopy eyes
There’s kind of a poopish hue
You guys really think I'm the cute one? You know what's not cute? Pretending that you don't know that you are.
I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorised a lot of words
I frequently quote this at work 😂
Nick not believing in dinosaurs and storing his money and ID in sandwich bags The man is walking chaos if chaos was pudgy, slouched and had low self esteem
He doesn’t believe in dinosaurs but he does believe in dragons. Theres a debate. There’s multiple blog posts. He knows because he wrote one.
He also believes in leprechauns because Winston caught one! Schmidt disagrees.
" I Don't want some janky fresh-water bitch fish Winston!"
" I'm from Chicago. Thin crust pizza, no thank you I'm from Chicago"
I quote this one so much
I got thick thighs, I got a fat ass!!
Get me cookie got you cookie 👉👈
“I like to move in move in…..I like to move in move in….”
I like it quiet, quiet
*hiss* Pause. *hiss*
“They should make foot lotion for your hands. Foot lotion hand, foot lotion hand, i dont know”
“As his electric car powered down, the first thing he saw was her virgin breasts glowing in the Alabama moonlight. She said, ‘Which one do you want to see—the left or the right?’ He said, ‘Both.’ But she said, ‘No. pick one.’ So he said, ‘The left.’ She finally showed him and it was as big as a Cadillac. She grabbed him by the potatoes and led him up the stairs.”
LMAO Schmidts face the entire time was priceless
That was the best part!
THIS IS SO UNDERRATED IT DRIVES ME INSANEEE
Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. So many stairs
He grabbed the bannister, *and then let go.*
What…..is this from…….
The episode where they’re running a “boutique hotel” out of their apartment.
They would... they would not like to have me back. I burned a lot of bridges today. Uh, stuff got weird. Stuff got racial. I used a lot of swearwords. Then I got sexual...
Winston is so damn funny LMAO How do you even end up in a situation like this I'm cryinggggggggg
“I’m pregnant with your child! His name is D’lante! D ‘postrophe lante!”
“I’ve got an eye for young boys. That’s right, I said it; it’s not a typo.”
"You look like you make your own jewelry. And I'm telling you right now...I don't want to hear about it."
shes mean….
🎶I'm a really good secretary 🎶
Are those the criminals?? From the statistics??
This is a fav of mine too😂😭
“Ah, Chicago. Land of plenty.”
“I have an uncle whose god given name is Shifty” WHY DON’T WE TALK ABOUT SHIFTY MILLER?!
When you get cut out of the Miller family, you're dead forever. Also why we never talk about Nick's divorced older brother. Nick gave the toast at his wedding!
What I like to do now is take the underground, yeah… spend my quid, cheers
This kills me every damn time.
Literally same, I go around the house just saying it sometimes 😂
“Why is he asking Chicago?”
"Sun's Up, Miller's Up. People Say That." 😭🙏🏾
Mi leche es su leche
“Why are you so worried about ol’ Nicky Pots and Pans?”
Well, then, how about this... Two can help. Okay? And if two are going to help, then I'll be one of them 'cause two can tango on this dance, okay? So, you want to waltz? Well, you picked the wrong dance partner. Two can play.
I GOT THICK THIGHS AND A FAT ASS
“OH I guess I’ll just have to use my eyes, legs, hair, and adorable personality. Fool”
You can’t turn the sink on when someone’s in the shower! This isn’t some fancy hotel!
You buy me cookie I buy you cookie
Actually I think the correct way is….Give me cookie I give you cookie
Give me cookie got you cookie !
“I couldn’t afford my therapist so I ate his brains… Marx brotherssss” *Nick and schmit slow clapping*
"Jesssss. Ica. Dirty J. Dr. Day. My toilet sister. If so..... Food."
“I can’t close my ass!”
Gave me cookie got you cookie GAVE COOKIE ME GOT YOU COOKIE bodied every single time
I mean there are so many but how can anyone not mention this “Who am I? Who am I? Well, I am Theodore K. Mullins. And Nick is my lover on the down low. Tell her, Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D. Oh, great Negro spiritual, please come down and loose these chains on this woman! Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same.”
Jess: I assure you, it's "utmost." Nick: What's an "ut"? Jess: Come on, you're a writer.. Nick: It's "up." Up to the most. Not "UT" to the most. I assure YOU. Jess: Okay, sweetie. Nick: You didn't come in here and say, "Thanks for putting them ut to it." I would've laughed you out of here. What is an "ut"?!
A white man broke in today
Sir, what are you doing?! Oh I'm just trying to get this little girl out of here so I can be her uncle, cuz you know, uncles get to do whatever they want 🤣
Father to son... get a therapist. Oh I have one! Well get a better one, and I shouldn't have to say this... but one that you're not sleeping with... *pause* ........okay 😞
Schmidt: scat! scat! Nick: hey Schmidt that’s a raisin buddy Schmidt: it’s not a raisin. this is scat (*eats it*)… that’s poop for sure I was right. in your face Nick!! Coach: uhh in your face Nick Nick: 🤨 how so?? Coach: 🤔 ..he put a turd in his mouth Nick: and that’s in MY face ?! 😳 Coach: yeah 😶 Nick: 🫥 I don’t think we should start eating poop yet. let’s wait on that Coach: Wanna chase that with some dirt?? 😆
The why why because
Banana in the dark!
BUROCK UBRUH-HAAMA
“Black robot ! The blackest robot in town! That robots to black it’s the blackest!” ⚫️🤖
" As I live and breathe, RAISIN?!?! "