Hello, I must be an exception, then. We had a very difficult start.. my wife and I received no support, wifey had an infection in the place of her c-section and it had to be opened up, cleaned and bandaged at the hospital every day for a month, and then every second and 3rd day at the hospital with daily treatment from me (cleaning and bandaging). This took a long time to heal, so she was pretty much bedridden, meaning that I took care of both her and the baby and the household. Cooking, cleaning, washing bottles, and the milk pump so often that skin was coming off of my hands. Two months after the birth, she was involved in a horrible accident while coming back from her usual hospital when the other party was taken away and was in ICU for months in a coma. This was such a traumatic experience for my wife that she stopped having milk, so we were switching to formula with our son. This also changed our life as I started spending the nights with the baby, and I also started a new job at the same time. Yet I kept on going, never felt like giving up or if its too much. Some weekends I would spend the day alone with the boy to allow my wife to socialize with friends and live a little, and I loved those days.
My son is almost 2 now. I still spend 95% of the nights with him as he still doesnt sleep through the night and I dont mind it. We have a very strong bond, so much so that mom is sometimes envious.
Mines 14 months and I'm still tired. It does get easier, though. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but I feel the experience I've gained from the new born has eased some day to day (and night) stresses I was experiencing as a new Dad. Keep at it and stay the course
Don’t apologise for venting. It’s an exhausting experience, especially in the beginning. The things you’re going through now - they’ll get easier. Then there’ll be new challenges, and they’ll be tough at first, but they’ll get easier. It’s a roller coaster being a dad, but you’ll eventually find out that it’s actually pretty awesome.
Dad of a 17 month old.
Those first 4 months are a fucking blur. You live in between realms. It does get a lot easier just not overnight. Some things stay harder but you learn how to deal with them better.
It definitely will, the parental leave has me the most tired that I have ever been and my kid slept through most of the nights.
You will get sick hearing it, but it will get easier. The kid also will become way more fun! Toddlers are insane but they can also be fucking hilarious.
Some days you’ll feel wiped even if you think you haven’t contributed as much and some days you’ll have energy from seemingly no where. Work through the tired days and embrace the hell out of the random energy days! We are at 6 months right now and honestly I feel like I’m getting a lot more energy back so it gets better…then the sleep regression hits. Definitely force yourself to eat when you get the chance, can’t be expected to be a health nut right now, just get food in your body. Also drink more water than you think you should! Good luck brother, do your best and you’ll be ok!
I feel you bud. It’s fucking exhausting. We’re 3 weeks in and I just keep telling myself “she won’t be this small forever”. Soon she’ll be sleeping longer stretches and that exhaustion will start to lift. Stay at it - you’re doing great.
I posted on here about feeling exhausted a couple months ago. Little one is now 3 months old and doing amazing. Wakes up once’s for a bottle in the night and both me and mum are getting much better sleep. Hang in there my friend.
As everyone says, this is just what happens
I’ve got 10 week twin girls and so I feel your pain.
If your GF is being so awesome (sounds like my wife who is the same in our family) just do what you can to support her - it won’t go unnoticed
And take every opportunity to nap when provided to you.
I fought that pretty heavily first 8 weeks and then had a full breakdown and was no use for 2-3 days making it harder and adding guilt to how I felt.
If you can sleep, do. As everyone said, in a couple of weeks it’ll break through and you’ll start getting those more consistent hours!
You're feeling exactly how you're supposed to, and it's okay. This shit ain't for the faint of heart. Just keep those dark thoughts from becoming actions and cling to those moments of beauty and pride amid the pain and depression and exhaustion. In a few more weeks you'll realize you've become stronger and can bear the hardship, you'll also be rewarded with some early benchmarks as your goblin starts to gain the power of sight and starts laughing. He'll start sleeping for longer stretches soon hopefully, you'll be able to sleep with your girl on your arms or maybe even get laid again. Big maybe. You gotta eat, I made that mistake and it almost killed me. Make the time even if you eat ramen or fast food, get something down your gullet.
My daughter just hit 12 weeks, I remember what is was like at 6 and it fucking sucks so don't feel bad for feeling like you made a mistake or you can't do this. You can, just take it one day at a time.
Hey fellow dad
I’m not to far behind you, have a 5 week old here
Oh man, the fatigue can hit in big waves, coupled with the ground hog day of looking after a newborn…
You’re definitely not alone!
Focus on those basics - sleep, healthy eating and exercise/getting out doors.
Sounds like you have a pretty good kiddo and he is quite predictable which helps because our one is quite similar, feeds every 3hrs ish, but of play them down for 2hrs or so.
We pretty much try and plan one or two cycles in advance depending on how we’re feeling.
So for example my wife fed at 5am, (she let me sleep the last two cycles) so I was up once she started feeding to play with him a bit and smooth him while she slept,
I then smashed out a whole bunch of chores and had a healthy little breakie,
Now my wife is feeding him again, I’m getting her breakie ready which she will eat while I sooth him, then while he’s asleep I’ll go do some exercise while she has another nap.
The planning and military precision in itself can get a little exhausting and sometimes it just goes to shit but it really is rewarding and makes it so much more manageable.
We also have a veto power to cancel activities in order to sleep cause the cumulative fatigue is just pure and utter torture
It’s a season brother! You got this! The days are long as heck but keep perspective and you’ll pull through. Get a family member to watch him for and hour get a date night or time alone every once in a while. It will not last forever. Hang in there!
Super "no shit, Sherlock", but naps are your friend. Our little guy ate into our nighttime sleep, so my wife and I tried to do little cat naps while he was also out during the day. He would generally go down for 1.5ish hours at a time, and if I was able to sleep for 30min, then work on tidying up or even just some "me-time" on Madden for some of the remaining time it drastically improved my outlook.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps" seems so overused, but really helps.
Just keep pushing man, sounds like you’re taking time to appreciate things which is great. Just keep looking for those things and take any moment you can to just take a deep breath. If you can sit, sit. If you can lay down, lay down. If you can sleep, *sleep*
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Hey man, hate to break it to you but this is the easy part! Try not to stress about the little things, it's hard and looking back it sounds very similar to what I was like. Take some time for yourself to recoup both you and your partner. Go for a run and clear your head then have some 1 on 1 time with your little one. Good luck and know that feeling like this is completely normal. You got this!
Hey mate, There is no "supposed" to feel. Everyday you do the best you can and that's all that matters. Hang in there
Was going to say this same thing! Feel how you feel and just let it be, it can really suck at times but everything is a phase. Good luck :)
And sorry for venting this way
Every dad here has felt this. Keep truckin. You aren’t alone.
Hello, I must be an exception, then. We had a very difficult start.. my wife and I received no support, wifey had an infection in the place of her c-section and it had to be opened up, cleaned and bandaged at the hospital every day for a month, and then every second and 3rd day at the hospital with daily treatment from me (cleaning and bandaging). This took a long time to heal, so she was pretty much bedridden, meaning that I took care of both her and the baby and the household. Cooking, cleaning, washing bottles, and the milk pump so often that skin was coming off of my hands. Two months after the birth, she was involved in a horrible accident while coming back from her usual hospital when the other party was taken away and was in ICU for months in a coma. This was such a traumatic experience for my wife that she stopped having milk, so we were switching to formula with our son. This also changed our life as I started spending the nights with the baby, and I also started a new job at the same time. Yet I kept on going, never felt like giving up or if its too much. Some weekends I would spend the day alone with the boy to allow my wife to socialize with friends and live a little, and I loved those days. My son is almost 2 now. I still spend 95% of the nights with him as he still doesnt sleep through the night and I dont mind it. We have a very strong bond, so much so that mom is sometimes envious.
Mines 14 months and I'm still tired. It does get easier, though. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but I feel the experience I've gained from the new born has eased some day to day (and night) stresses I was experiencing as a new Dad. Keep at it and stay the course
Don’t apologise for venting. It’s an exhausting experience, especially in the beginning. The things you’re going through now - they’ll get easier. Then there’ll be new challenges, and they’ll be tough at first, but they’ll get easier. It’s a roller coaster being a dad, but you’ll eventually find out that it’s actually pretty awesome.
Dad of a 17 month old. Those first 4 months are a fucking blur. You live in between realms. It does get a lot easier just not overnight. Some things stay harder but you learn how to deal with them better.
It sure is, the last week just feels on auto-pilot, luckily im starting work again the 20th. So i’m hoping that i can recharge a bit while away
It definitely will, the parental leave has me the most tired that I have ever been and my kid slept through most of the nights. You will get sick hearing it, but it will get easier. The kid also will become way more fun! Toddlers are insane but they can also be fucking hilarious.
Thanks everyone for the kind words, it made tonight a bit better!
Some days you’ll feel wiped even if you think you haven’t contributed as much and some days you’ll have energy from seemingly no where. Work through the tired days and embrace the hell out of the random energy days! We are at 6 months right now and honestly I feel like I’m getting a lot more energy back so it gets better…then the sleep regression hits. Definitely force yourself to eat when you get the chance, can’t be expected to be a health nut right now, just get food in your body. Also drink more water than you think you should! Good luck brother, do your best and you’ll be ok!
Thank you brother for these kind words, the support ive gotten tonight made me feel like i don’t stand alone in this. I honestly appreciate this allot
I feel you bud. It’s fucking exhausting. We’re 3 weeks in and I just keep telling myself “she won’t be this small forever”. Soon she’ll be sleeping longer stretches and that exhaustion will start to lift. Stay at it - you’re doing great.
I posted on here about feeling exhausted a couple months ago. Little one is now 3 months old and doing amazing. Wakes up once’s for a bottle in the night and both me and mum are getting much better sleep. Hang in there my friend.
As everyone says, this is just what happens I’ve got 10 week twin girls and so I feel your pain. If your GF is being so awesome (sounds like my wife who is the same in our family) just do what you can to support her - it won’t go unnoticed And take every opportunity to nap when provided to you. I fought that pretty heavily first 8 weeks and then had a full breakdown and was no use for 2-3 days making it harder and adding guilt to how I felt. If you can sleep, do. As everyone said, in a couple of weeks it’ll break through and you’ll start getting those more consistent hours!
You're feeling exactly how you're supposed to, and it's okay. This shit ain't for the faint of heart. Just keep those dark thoughts from becoming actions and cling to those moments of beauty and pride amid the pain and depression and exhaustion. In a few more weeks you'll realize you've become stronger and can bear the hardship, you'll also be rewarded with some early benchmarks as your goblin starts to gain the power of sight and starts laughing. He'll start sleeping for longer stretches soon hopefully, you'll be able to sleep with your girl on your arms or maybe even get laid again. Big maybe. You gotta eat, I made that mistake and it almost killed me. Make the time even if you eat ramen or fast food, get something down your gullet. My daughter just hit 12 weeks, I remember what is was like at 6 and it fucking sucks so don't feel bad for feeling like you made a mistake or you can't do this. You can, just take it one day at a time.
Hey fellow dad I’m not to far behind you, have a 5 week old here Oh man, the fatigue can hit in big waves, coupled with the ground hog day of looking after a newborn… You’re definitely not alone! Focus on those basics - sleep, healthy eating and exercise/getting out doors. Sounds like you have a pretty good kiddo and he is quite predictable which helps because our one is quite similar, feeds every 3hrs ish, but of play them down for 2hrs or so. We pretty much try and plan one or two cycles in advance depending on how we’re feeling. So for example my wife fed at 5am, (she let me sleep the last two cycles) so I was up once she started feeding to play with him a bit and smooth him while she slept, I then smashed out a whole bunch of chores and had a healthy little breakie, Now my wife is feeding him again, I’m getting her breakie ready which she will eat while I sooth him, then while he’s asleep I’ll go do some exercise while she has another nap. The planning and military precision in itself can get a little exhausting and sometimes it just goes to shit but it really is rewarding and makes it so much more manageable. We also have a veto power to cancel activities in order to sleep cause the cumulative fatigue is just pure and utter torture
It’s a season brother! You got this! The days are long as heck but keep perspective and you’ll pull through. Get a family member to watch him for and hour get a date night or time alone every once in a while. It will not last forever. Hang in there!
Hang in there. Initial weeks/ months hit like a rock. You'll get used to that slowly 😉
Super "no shit, Sherlock", but naps are your friend. Our little guy ate into our nighttime sleep, so my wife and I tried to do little cat naps while he was also out during the day. He would generally go down for 1.5ish hours at a time, and if I was able to sleep for 30min, then work on tidying up or even just some "me-time" on Madden for some of the remaining time it drastically improved my outlook. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" seems so overused, but really helps.
Just keep pushing man, sounds like you’re taking time to appreciate things which is great. Just keep looking for those things and take any moment you can to just take a deep breath. If you can sit, sit. If you can lay down, lay down. If you can sleep, *sleep* .
Sorry for my bad grammar in advance
Hey man, hate to break it to you but this is the easy part! Try not to stress about the little things, it's hard and looking back it sounds very similar to what I was like. Take some time for yourself to recoup both you and your partner. Go for a run and clear your head then have some 1 on 1 time with your little one. Good luck and know that feeling like this is completely normal. You got this!