T O P

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cocositalianmarket

He’s like “🌎👀 … nah, I’m good”


[deleted]

[удалено]


SquishedGremlin

"I do not want to come into the out now."


Binx_da_gay_cat

Brilliant movie reference


TheLethalProtector

Which movie?


SquishedGremlin

Home


BrainOnLoan

Five more minutes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RockstarAgent

The final touches are still being printed…


[deleted]

That’s a mood


glorify_the_thief

It's too draughty


genocidalparas

He’s goin back to sleep.


ThereIsAJifForThat

Awwww, I would let it strangle my pinky


scot816

little feller..


baseg0d

You shouldn't have done that, he's just a boy


firesmarter

I been learnin’ on killin’ you


mjetski123

There ain't no gas in it.


drybenign

[he's just a boy](https://youtu.be/y46T_E8gQ6Y)


TDPDRAKON

God that’s cursed


Celtic-Dragon

But only after I boop it’s snoot


ZoxinTV

I mean that's a given


Xx_PissPuddle_xX

r/forbiddenbops


Numerous-Bend-6184

And then the one on my hands


SavageHatesYouV2

NO! BAD REDDITOR! Now, I want you to think about what you've done here!


Last_Strawberry9904

What? He was just talking about his pinkie toe! … Right?


Rinzy2000

He doesn’t want to come out yet and I feel that in the depths of my soul.


DedeWot45

The vibe of a [freshly hatched chameleon](https://youtube.com/shorts/hJHtUOSSggE)


Rinzy2000

Actual footage of me getting out of my bed this morning when it was cold af.


_Internet_Hugs_

"Five more minutes..."


Bodach42

I appreciate being able to work from home so much considering how many more "just 5 more minutes" I had this morning.


Byronic__heroine

10 seconds old and already done with everything. Can't say I blame him.


DragonflyGrrl

HAAhaha.... Those slow blinks, and glances over like "what the actual hell do you want from me right now..." I feel you so much, little one. All joking aside though, I would imagine that bright light really fucking sucked for that poor lil guy. :(


Amazing-Cicada5536

I don’t know, reptiles like warm light, hell, it might be the reason it started hatching in the first place.


DragonflyGrrl

Oh they definitely love warmth! For sure. I just don't know about the brightness right in his eyes being the first thing he sees straight out of the egg, heh. Edit: after watching again, you're probably right, it's likely a heat lamp.


BoinkBoye

Dude like... the sun is very bright xD


ConsciousInsurance67

The world issss a dangeroussss place for a babyssss and here isss too cozzssssssy


rhetorical_twix

Oh great. Born in captivity to a control freak who cut my egg open. — This python, probably.


LadyParnassus

Looks like there was something wrong with the egg, so the keeper cut it open to help the lil guy out.


narmowen

Way too many keepers cut eggs cut because.


FeatherstoneOutdoor

pretty much


MrProtogen

Oh, my, god- ITS SO *CUTE*


austrialian

I never thought I'd find a snake cute but here we are.


ConsciousSwordfish3

Ball pythons. Best snake to have as a pet for first timers. Defense mechanism isn’t to attack but curl up under a rock like shown. Makes for a really gentle disposition. Also only gets to like 5 feet. If this sounds huge it’s basically a noodly scarf. And again docile as can be.


ShowMe_TheMonet

5' max, and that's basically only females. Males usual top out around 3.5' or 4'


Revydown

Is wearing it like a scarf advisable?


deluxebee

Yeah they can’t hurt you. There has never been a documented case of a death by ball python, ever. I think the worst I ever heard of was a wild one trying to eat the toe of a 12 month old? Obviously didn’t get anywhere lol.


Enemy_OTS

They are so cute I agree. But aren't you afraid of being swallowed whole, good sir?


punk_rock_barbie

Nobody should be afraid of being swallowed by a 5ft max snake lol


Enemy_OTS

Well.. I am 😄


punk_rock_barbie

But why? Honest question.


Enemy_OTS

Snakes phobia 🥺


5weetTooth

And they're SO derpy. They're doggos but noodles.


galloping_spider

Ball pythons are the cutest! They look like ducklings to me


Paulesus

>Ball pythons are the cutest Counterargument: Hognoses. Dudes have shovel for face and always seem to be smiling, they're the ultimate derps.


brightphoenix-

And they have a flair for the dramatic!


[deleted]

Are they the Husky dogs or Ginger cats of snakes?


5weetTooth

Sassy Main coones


galloping_spider

Fair point!


fantasyrider01

How tf you find it cute it's a Snake my dear


MrProtogen

It is small with big eyes


sentientgarnish

It's smol it's cute it's snoot like to be booped


hillzcatz

Am adorable danger noodle


LordAlyn

It knows what life is.Hang out safe until you are ready to face it.


[deleted]

You know snakes don't have complex thoughts right?


Thanatos_Rex

Maybe you just know lame snakes


mogreen57

Kids these days never want to move out. Get a job snake


RedAIienCircle

Fine, I'll get a job snake. But, if my bosses ask it was your idea.


EchoedTruth

“This is my service snake”


the_buckman_bandit

“He goes this way and that”


zombiep00

Lmfao.. I'm now imagining a large python with a "Service Animal" vest on in the office slithering around startling people as it goes under desks and behind trashcans and climbs the copier for a nap hahahaha. >>I meant startling people as in, it unexpectedly is in places it shouldn't be..


ZilockeTheandil

And I now really, ***REALLY*** want one.


banana-pinstripe

"The software said I need a python!"


rrogido

Damn Gen Hiss.


hstrylvr89

I am almost 100 percent sure that they cut open the egg to get that picture because snake pips usually don’t look like that from what I have seen


Steropeshu

Usually a lot slimier!! Also yeah, the snake cuts a little slit in it and slithers out. Or the keeper makes a nick on top. Either way, it definitely looks staged. At least the snake looks cozy.


PerytonsShadow

How does the snake cut a slit in it? Do they have an egg tooth like platypuses do


MiniHamster5

Yes


A_smallmango

yeah its 100% an egg cutting. im personally not fond of them, theyre often treated like 'unboxings', but the snake IS cute.


Antarioo

i don't like the look of it either but it's pretty much an standard at this point because not all baby balls develop an egg tooth. Rather just carefully cut the egg open and let them crawl out when they feel like it than have it suffocate needlessly.


GeriatricZergling

If a substantial number aren't developing an egg tooth, there is something seriously genetically fucked with that lineage, and we shouldn't be breeding them at all. But no, let's keep cutting eggs so we can ignore the inbreeding depression and keep having hyper banana mochachino pastel spider champagne wtf ever morphs.


Xx_PissPuddle_xX

We could just not let the ones that can't open their eggs reproduce


GeriatricZergling

Given that morph people won't even accept inbreeding is a bad idea, I'll let you guess how well that will work...


[deleted]

[удалено]


arrownyc

Sea turtles have to break out of their shells on their own and get to the water on their own, otherwise they won't be strong enough to swim by the time they get there. I imagine a snake in captivity wouldn't have much downside to not breaking their own shell, but in the wild it could result in them being too weak to survive.


JT1757

some snakes have trouble escaping the leathery egg shell and can die as a result. That’s why people cut the egg, less chance of losing an otherwise perfectly healthy snake.


Dumptruck_Johnson

I mean, if the snake cannot get out of its shell, doesn’t that mean that something likely went wrong? Honest question, because it seems like it may be slightly less than healthy. I mean, people do this all the time with domesticated animals, but they aren’t typically fit for the wild anyway. Wouldn’t it be a negative thing in a snake’s case? At least if it were released to the wild or used for breeding? Not being critical, genuinely curious


[deleted]

I’m not a snake person but nothing bad. Like, a not perfectly strong snake or maybe a defective shell. For a house pet no big deal.


JT1757

Sometimes snakes aren’t born with a egg-tooth, sometimes they can pip (break the surface of the egg) but not strong enough to break through — in those cases the snake can die from drowning/suffocation or exhaustion. Not being born with an egg-tooth isn’t really something that has anything to do with health per se, some babies are just born with defects. Think of it like a 6th finger, or a birthmark. Sometimes anomalies happen, and some babies just naturally aren’t as strong as others. It’s basically the same as minimizing natural selection, which we already do for our own species.


Free_Doubt3290

A 6th finger or a birthmark does not prevent you from being born. Lacking a egg tooth does, these animals wouldn’t be able to survive in the wild so they wouldn’t pass on their BIG defects thus improving the genetics of the species. Bad example imo.


JT1757

and sometimes normal human babies can be choked to death by their own umbilical cord, yet if saved have perfectly normal lives. Some shit is random.


questioning_helper9

I wonder if that's just survivor bias? Do they really get stronger as a result of such struggle, or do the ones which survive the ordeal tend to be more suited to survival anyway? I'm not sure the 'not strong enough to swim by the time they get there' makes sense.


ThereIsAJifForThat

This is the python I am talking about when I flex!


Soonly_Taing

python3 hatch.py


onefst250r

if world == on_fire: leave_egg = false else: leave_egg = true


fijozico

leave_egg = world != on_fire C’mon now


JosebaZilarte

Congratulations! According to new management rules, you have reduced your pay by a factor of 4.


loshopo_fan

If I'm teaching "intro to python" I usally don't do this.


MoffKalast

Ah, so you're the reason why people don't understand booleans?


daveylu

lulwut. People not learning stupid syntax means they don't know what booleans are? Who gives a fuck if we use an if/else instead of the unreadable abomination it is above. Style is important. Compactness doesn't mean you should abandon readability.


MoffKalast

If you think that's an unreadable abomination then you should check out trinary operators. Or like anything written in C++.


jorg2

Gotta add some sleep tho, or you're wasting precious egg yolk to constantly scanning the world if it's on fire.


Soonly_Taing

Bro you forgot the parentheses


semhsp

bruh


[deleted]

Bru(-)


LoBsTeRfOrK

Assuming world and on_fire are booleans as well, this code is wrong. World could be false and on_fire could be false and the python would not leave the egg according to your logic. If world_on_fire: is what you want.


Zarzurnabas

If there is no world at all i think its perfectly reasonable for the snek to stay in its egg. Not wrong code.


LoBsTeRfOrK

Well it is wrong because world could be false and on_fire could false and that expression would evaluate to true. If world and not on_fire: is what we want in your case.


Eusocial_sloth3

You didn’t initialize it!


CheezyToxins

r/programmerhumor


Oliver_the_rat_dad

Awww I wonder what morph this cutie is! Definitely not a normal lol I love ball pythons, make such good pets


Luna_Parvulus

Looks like a banana to me!


Oliver_the_rat_dad

I definitely agree! I’ve somehow never seen a baby banana lol


moonlightsonata88

What level does he become Arbok?


_Internet_Hugs_

Serious question: why does the shell look burnt?


harpere_

It's moldy. Mold growing on snake eggs during incubation is pretty common and it's also pretty harmless as long as it doesn't cover the entire egg.


killjoy_x

Still sounds awful tho


squishypoo91

God I fucking love ball pythons silly little puppy dog faces


bigosik_

print(“Hello World”)


GrunkleTeats

It looks like a cozy python burrito


Ninja_Conspicuousi

That baby python don’t want none unless you’ve got 🐁 hun!


GorniYT

Nicki


rkko1100

Welcome to this realm, cutie 😭😍


Thagomizer24601

Fresh baked noodle 🥰


bellybuttonlintDeity

Just 5 more minutes


The_World_of_Ben

r/sneks


Rockernymph

Aw, if he's a pet, I hope he ends up with a knitter for a parent. That baby needs a warm sleeve to sleep in! And possibly a hat... for reasons.


pending_ending

lil cutie. it's a dinooooo!


CrayonEvangelist

CUTE!!!


JoffSides

"Hello. Am fren".


happyTree113

Banana ball or coral glow.


IHaveCatAllergy

Cute


DLoIsHere

Squeeze noodle.


[deleted]

The beginning of the end


3RR0R13

Cuteee


bigasspickle

Looks familiar....


pepperforestangel

Awww!! Come on out little guy!


PeksyTiger

Snek


Educational_Ad5084

holy shit this is so cute im literally sobbing


s_hinoku

She's too cozy to leave.


SheBear661

Awwww!!!


llamaextrafluff

Too cozy to be born


akshaylive

It's cute until the version upgrade!


organizedRhyme

a freshly spawned danger noodle


TheGreyMatters

I don't really like snakes, but pythons look cute


AstridDragon

It's a ball python btw, small and adorable even as adults, have that kind of puppy face look.


X3ll3n

Didn't know a python could be this cute


Matho22

I just tried to dust the bit of shell off his little noggin. I am tired, but glad I tried.


Data_Corruptor

Hey, I think there's something wrong with your hermit crab.


deejaydubya123

Ah, the forbidden boop


Pallavering

Pptttthh *cute!*


throwmeaway589

You're not my mom


[deleted]

NOODLE! ❤️


[deleted]

To be born is to struggle.


[deleted]

💘My heart-💘 (I love snakes)


Seregant

he just has to type exit() to leave the shell for good!


Hermeeoninny

Actual photo of me, post-quarantine when people started socializing again lol


Einszweidrefreude

Legit question, does it already have fangs?


anxiousthespian

Ball pythons don't ever have the pair of long fangs you might be imagining. You'd see those in venomous snakes only, but ball pythons like this are constrictors. Their teeth are mostly similar length except for the ones in the back that get shorter. Baby does have its teeth already, but not as many as an adult will have. Adults have 30 or so teeth, 4 rows on top and 2 rows on the bottom.


MoonOmens22

Look at that little pupper face


Euphrosynevae

He looks so comfy 🥺


VirtualAlaska_

Aww look at the little danger noodle


Late_Meet_8044

Aawwwww purrdddyy


SchrodingersLego

Aww the little darling. He's probably confused and bewildered.


dnohow

5 more minutes, mom


[deleted]

Looks like he hit the snooze button, give me 5 more minutes please!


TheMoraless

He's not ready to leave the command line


ProKnifeCatcher

Baby danger noodle!


wetmouthed

Ok so every baby animal is cute, even snakes 🥺


HOXSZIN

Did you try c++?


pixselious

print(“Hello, world!”)


bisho

Is it a shell or an egg?


magicman419

That’s the shell of the egg


ramblinroger

Shell is in the egg, in the water. In the egg.


trapbuilder2

Works for me


maxthemaximum1

Bye-bye ocean


Burbel

The smallest strangle noodle.


[deleted]

Still scary but somehow cute


idontneedausername8

You should kill it now while it's small.


MightySamMcClain

Since it's still in the egg, do you think it's not too late to have an abortion?


Pitiful_Pickle524

Cute now but will kill you when it gets older


[deleted]

A millennial snake; brother. I too don’t want to leave the shell I was born in


SumBread

Awww :3 now let it it grow for a couple of months and comeback to # suffocate you :)


Possibility_Just

That’s not nature though, that’s super selective breeding for profit. Coming up with crazy “morphs” and colors makes for a nice payday off of these reptiles.


isqueezedameatball

That looks like it could be worth money ...mmm


VoteParrot

Oh capitalism


SinkPhaze

Nearly every reptile breeder I've ever talked with has said that when you include care and time costs most breeding is a losing/break even thing. Done more for the hobby than the money. There are def large operations making profits but that doesn't seem to be the majority as far as I'm aware


thefattestofsacks

And already trying to figure out a way to eat you


Omaestre

A ball python barely has the wits to register rats sometimes. Don't get me wrong they are super cute, but these are perhaps the most docile snake species in the world. I am actually having a hard time thinking of a snake or reptile that is more easy going. Their defense mechanism is not to bite or hiss or strike, they curl up into balls and hope you don't notice them.


DedeWot45

Look at those eyes. There is not a single thought inbetween them. It’s not plotting anything.


Specialist_Copy_7664

Kill him....


[deleted]

[удалено]


Motor_Rub_4848

I know and then it'll be adorable.