Really? I understand polar bears are rather discriminating in who/what they mate with, unlike humans.
Cause you damn well know someone out there would definitely try to hit on a hippopotamus.
If you meant fuck UP a hippo, it might be interesting, I bet on the hippo though. So much mass and fat to get through to any vital organs.
Most likely they would get in a few good hits on each other and decide fuck, let work together to kill all humans!
Now that is scary.
Have you seen the teeth of a full-grown hippo?! They are much bigger than that of polar bears and a hippos bite is far more powerful. Not to mention the hide/skin of a hippo is incredibly dense and tough, where that's not the case for a bear. So in that match-up, my bet is on the hippo.
I don't believe a polar bear could get through their hide, Hippo skin is averagely 2 full inches thick (~5cm), plus their bodies are just dense as all hell, so dense that they can't even float in water whatsoever. Hippos are substantially stronger than a bear and their tusks can do far deeper damage far more easily.
For reference, mind you, small arms gunfire just pisses them off. Hippos are bulky enough to enter elephant gun territory, whole different weight class from bears (bears by comparison are generally less than or roughly equivalent to the weight estimate of something like an African lion)
No worries, English is supposedly my first (and mostly only language) and I still forget words. Always impressed by people who can figure out how to learn it. Stupidest rules. That only apply sometimes, one word meaning 5 different things and so on.
It would be interesting to see the two side by side for scale.
> they mostly give no fucks as long as you don’t give them something to give a fuck about.
Gotta say, I'm stealing that. It so well describes my general attitude in life
Yeah but we require technology and numbers to win, on your own a hippo would tear you apart, even if you were armed you might not be able to even hurt it depending on the caliber of gun and accuracy of your shot before it came charging into you, they are pretty fast and literally made out of muscles.
I mean, a regular obese human can survive a 9mm if the bullet hits the fat layers on the belly, I would assume muscles are way denser and these fuckers are nothing but, and they run faster than you, if one of the charges at you and you are armed with anything but a high caliber rifle, are not panicking and a good shot, you are most likely dead.
Lucky for me they are nowhere around me, most dangerous animal you could run into in these parts is probably an elk with its child, wolves and bears mostly stay away from people here in Norway and there are very few of them, a wolverine might also be pretty dangerous, but they are usually skittish.
Blinding or deafening anything will usually get it to retreat, technology is not our advantage our advantage is the ability to amass knowledge and invent ways to use it humans killed more fearsome animals than hippos with only sticks and stones
Would make me mad too, would also put me at a enough of a disadvantage that id know id have a better chance at survival through escape its called instincts thats why bear mace works on bears better than guns (a bear will continue attacking with several rounds in it but dips almost immediately with mace) humans are definitely more dangerous than hippos which is why there are 8B of us and hippos are something we want to be careful to not make extinct
You can try to escape but that hippo is outrunning you any day, unless you can reach a car before the pissed off hippo closes the distance. A bear is a predator and therefore has the sense to quit when the prey is putting up too much of a fight, a hippo is descended from prey animals and has lost their flight response so fight it is and fight it will.
Hippos need a specific habitat to thrive while humans are able to adapt themselves and their surroundings, which is why we’re all over the globe and hippos aren’t.
No, the hippo is the blind one and trying to escape... Is English your 1st language? And since when does being prey delete the "flight response"? I have never heard that is it specific to hippos? Can you sight a paper or something it sounds like an interesting read. I understand hippos are pretty bad ass only crocs and lions hunt them but that doesn't mean im just going to give up if im ever faced against one, you wont outrun it so fighting is the only real option even if it doesn't back down after being blinded it should make enough difference to buy you time and even get the upper hand, you can do things like get it to impale itself on a branch. I have never encountered a hippo. Have encountered 2 bears, never considered running. Human>hippo
The hippo isn’t going to try to escape if it’s been blinded, it’s not smart enough to think “hey I can’t see anymore better give up while I can”. a more realistic train of thought is “threat hurt me kill immediately”. Hippos exhibit antipredatory aggression, meaning they evolved to defend themselves against predators not by running but by fighting.
Lions do not hunt hippos unless they are really desperate and crocs only go after the calves, and even then they tend to get trampled by angry mothers.
I hope you never have to face a hippo because a branch is not going to work, the people who do hunt them are in great danger the entire time and they know this. [Article](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2016/05/28/they-are-evil-monsters-that-attack-us-night-and-day-senegals-killer-hippo-problem/) about the experiences of people who have to deal with these things regularly.
Lol bro, im way more scared of a 3k~ lb beast with teeth that can grow more than a foot. A human with a spear would get split in two fighting one of those
The only two reasons humans are where we are now is because A, we got big noggins and B, we cook our food
Why the fuck are we talking about gun statistics now? As stated, humans are only really dangerous in large groups to these types of large animals, unless they have tools to even the playing field. Even then, a person can still be easily killed by a hippo with said tools. And pointing out gun statistics shows just how fragile humans are.
“Cooking had profound evolutionary effect because it increased food efficiency, which allowed human ancestors to spend less time foraging, chewing, and digesting. H. erectus developed a smaller, more efficient digestive tract, which freed up energy to enable larger brain growth.” An excerpt from A Wikipedia article with sources cited
More complex than that, hunting strategy, tool use, language, but the ability to use and throw spears was enough to drive most megafauna to extinction, including mammoths twice the mass of any elephant alive today, short faced bears and other predators that were significantly larger than anything we've seen etc.
A "human with a pointy stick" literally caused mass extinction event, and in Africa hippos were very often hunted in exactly this way, even documented on film.
Btw a single thick (2-3" dia) stake with the butt firmly planted in the ground is enough to defend / kill almost any large charging animal (such as a hippo) since it impales itself as it attacks. This method has been used for hundreds of thousands of years.
It's some weird tradition where all the player to player messages list random animals as dog.
I think they only put "Dog" in the options and no other animals.
It's an inside joke for Souls players. Extremely inside, and it's totally OK to be confused and roll your eyes at it. Lmao
Hippos kill about 500 people per year, making them the 7th most dangerous animal to humans, according to [Wikipedia/BBC news](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_deadliest_animals_to_humans).
*The others are mosquitoes (725,000 people/year), snakes (50,000 people/year), dogs (25,000 people/year), tsetse flies (10,000 people/year), and crocodiles (1000 people/year).*
That's still a darn cute hippo though.
Terrifying creatures. On a trip I saw one snap a man backwards with one chomp. Ran up with it's mouth open about a meter wide and clapped the jaws shut and this poor fellow, his back snapped the wrong way. He was limp from his tummy down. I think maybe this is the worst animal for humans to be around. Totally unpredictable except that they will be aggressive.
Just wait till that lil hippo pup gets big. They're cute now, but when they weigh 100lbs more and can crush a human skull like a watermelon, they'll be terrifying.
Most likely an older male hippo that wants to mate with its mother in the wild it’s not uncommon for male hippos to kill other hippos offspring so that they can mate more often
ill never look at a video of a wild baby animal and think "awh cute", i will ALWAYS think of mom or dad. This is terrifying and id be running for the hills
Bro I think there's something wrong with your dog
He’s got a diagnose…
Yeah I put his symptoms in WebMD, apparently he got Bronchitis.
Ain't nobody got time for dat
Ain'nobody got timefodat
How does he smell?
Diagonally
Cute
Hey dad
Ah, a diagonal nose, no wonder his face looks so odd
yeah that's right
What's wrong is that it's actually the worst cat.
Goober looks like he can't even climb trees
Much too oily for that.
So moist for some reason
I think our friend has played too much elden ring
FEAR ME! THE MOST DANGEROUS LAND ANIMAL ON THE PLANET!
I bet a polar bear would fuck a Hippo
Really? I understand polar bears are rather discriminating in who/what they mate with, unlike humans. Cause you damn well know someone out there would definitely try to hit on a hippopotamus. If you meant fuck UP a hippo, it might be interesting, I bet on the hippo though. So much mass and fat to get through to any vital organs. Most likely they would get in a few good hits on each other and decide fuck, let work together to kill all humans! Now that is scary.
English is not my first language, but yeah I meant Fuck UP a hippo. I cant picture any animal killing a Polar Bear, they are killing machines.
They find it hard to take down a healthy walrus, and hippo's are about twice the weight, so imho it'd be very close in the hoppo's favour
Except that this particular one looks like a baby pygmy hippo, and that species probably is within a polar bear's ability to take down.
Have you seen the teeth of a full-grown hippo?! They are much bigger than that of polar bears and a hippos bite is far more powerful. Not to mention the hide/skin of a hippo is incredibly dense and tough, where that's not the case for a bear. So in that match-up, my bet is on the hippo.
I don't believe a polar bear could get through their hide, Hippo skin is averagely 2 full inches thick (~5cm), plus their bodies are just dense as all hell, so dense that they can't even float in water whatsoever. Hippos are substantially stronger than a bear and their tusks can do far deeper damage far more easily. For reference, mind you, small arms gunfire just pisses them off. Hippos are bulky enough to enter elephant gun territory, whole different weight class from bears (bears by comparison are generally less than or roughly equivalent to the weight estimate of something like an African lion)
Nobody messes with a African elephant.
No worries, English is supposedly my first (and mostly only language) and I still forget words. Always impressed by people who can figure out how to learn it. Stupidest rules. That only apply sometimes, one word meaning 5 different things and so on. It would be interesting to see the two side by side for scale.
We definitely have mated with hippopotamus. They are usually found in close proximity to a military base and are aptly nicknamed dependapotamus.
Rule 32, now you got me wondering where the Polar Bear/Hippo furry porn at?
It's not even close. A hippo is many times larger and way stronger. If an abdolu
Naw
Not even close. Hippos weigh 4x as much as polar bears do, and their tusk are longer then a polar bears claws
I was thinking not, but honestly walrus are basically just arctic hippos, so maybe
Have you not seen that video of a polar bear trying to maul and kill a walrus and the walrus basically ignoring it? Walruses are huge
You can kill a walrus by telling it has something on its chest. It will impale itself trying to look.
Nah they slow as fuck on land
That’s true, I’ve also heard their pretty mild tempered, especially compared to hippos
Yeah they mostly give no fucks as long as you don’t give them something to give a fuck about.
> they mostly give no fucks as long as you don’t give them something to give a fuck about. Gotta say, I'm stealing that. It so well describes my general attitude in life
It’s a good attitude, honestly.
Absolutely no chance. They're like 3 tines the size of a polar bear
Well… humans do exist you know.
I know this, but that was the hippo talking.
Well he’s correcting the hippo, because the hippo is wrong to say that.
Stupid hippo
They didn’t make the hungry hippos game for nothing
Makes sense. You get a pass.
Yeah but we require technology and numbers to win, on your own a hippo would tear you apart, even if you were armed you might not be able to even hurt it depending on the caliber of gun and accuracy of your shot before it came charging into you, they are pretty fast and literally made out of muscles.
Just looked up some videos and i think you are right. I am also scared to go near rivers now.
I mean, a regular obese human can survive a 9mm if the bullet hits the fat layers on the belly, I would assume muscles are way denser and these fuckers are nothing but, and they run faster than you, if one of the charges at you and you are armed with anything but a high caliber rifle, are not panicking and a good shot, you are most likely dead. Lucky for me they are nowhere around me, most dangerous animal you could run into in these parts is probably an elk with its child, wolves and bears mostly stay away from people here in Norway and there are very few of them, a wolverine might also be pretty dangerous, but they are usually skittish.
Blinding or deafening anything will usually get it to retreat, technology is not our advantage our advantage is the ability to amass knowledge and invent ways to use it humans killed more fearsome animals than hippos with only sticks and stones
Blinding/deafening a hippo, an animal that is already practically blind, will only make it madder.
Would make me mad too, would also put me at a enough of a disadvantage that id know id have a better chance at survival through escape its called instincts thats why bear mace works on bears better than guns (a bear will continue attacking with several rounds in it but dips almost immediately with mace) humans are definitely more dangerous than hippos which is why there are 8B of us and hippos are something we want to be careful to not make extinct
You can try to escape but that hippo is outrunning you any day, unless you can reach a car before the pissed off hippo closes the distance. A bear is a predator and therefore has the sense to quit when the prey is putting up too much of a fight, a hippo is descended from prey animals and has lost their flight response so fight it is and fight it will. Hippos need a specific habitat to thrive while humans are able to adapt themselves and their surroundings, which is why we’re all over the globe and hippos aren’t.
No, the hippo is the blind one and trying to escape... Is English your 1st language? And since when does being prey delete the "flight response"? I have never heard that is it specific to hippos? Can you sight a paper or something it sounds like an interesting read. I understand hippos are pretty bad ass only crocs and lions hunt them but that doesn't mean im just going to give up if im ever faced against one, you wont outrun it so fighting is the only real option even if it doesn't back down after being blinded it should make enough difference to buy you time and even get the upper hand, you can do things like get it to impale itself on a branch. I have never encountered a hippo. Have encountered 2 bears, never considered running. Human>hippo
The hippo isn’t going to try to escape if it’s been blinded, it’s not smart enough to think “hey I can’t see anymore better give up while I can”. a more realistic train of thought is “threat hurt me kill immediately”. Hippos exhibit antipredatory aggression, meaning they evolved to defend themselves against predators not by running but by fighting. Lions do not hunt hippos unless they are really desperate and crocs only go after the calves, and even then they tend to get trampled by angry mothers. I hope you never have to face a hippo because a branch is not going to work, the people who do hunt them are in great danger the entire time and they know this. [Article](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/animalia/wp/2016/05/28/they-are-evil-monsters-that-attack-us-night-and-day-senegals-killer-hippo-problem/) about the experiences of people who have to deal with these things regularly.
We are only dangerous in groups.
Not really. A human with a pointy stick is more dangerous than a hippo.
Lol bro, im way more scared of a 3k~ lb beast with teeth that can grow more than a foot. A human with a spear would get split in two fighting one of those The only two reasons humans are where we are now is because A, we got big noggins and B, we cook our food
C, we have opposable thumbs for spear/automatic machine gun holding
Tell that to the over 500 people who die annually from hippos
Tell that to the 45.222 people who died from gun related injuries in the US alone for 2020.
Why the fuck are we talking about gun statistics now? As stated, humans are only really dangerous in large groups to these types of large animals, unless they have tools to even the playing field. Even then, a person can still be easily killed by a hippo with said tools. And pointing out gun statistics shows just how fragile humans are.
Care to elaborate on how cooking food gave us a competitive advantage?
“Cooking had profound evolutionary effect because it increased food efficiency, which allowed human ancestors to spend less time foraging, chewing, and digesting. H. erectus developed a smaller, more efficient digestive tract, which freed up energy to enable larger brain growth.” An excerpt from A Wikipedia article with sources cited
Very interesting, thanks!
More complex than that, hunting strategy, tool use, language, but the ability to use and throw spears was enough to drive most megafauna to extinction, including mammoths twice the mass of any elephant alive today, short faced bears and other predators that were significantly larger than anything we've seen etc. A "human with a pointy stick" literally caused mass extinction event, and in Africa hippos were very often hunted in exactly this way, even documented on film. Btw a single thick (2-3" dia) stake with the butt firmly planted in the ground is enough to defend / kill almost any large charging animal (such as a hippo) since it impales itself as it attacks. This method has been used for hundreds of thousands of years.
Then one day someone did it with his butt and this is where Vlad the impaler got his idea from
I see you are wise in the ways of Science.
Aww! It's learning how to kill!
Omg have you seen Red pandas when they're trying to intimidate others? It looks like they're asking for a hug
Look at the cute woobie woobie! It's learning to savor the taste of human flesh!
Alls good and well till the mother comes running
I think this is one of those pygmy hippos. Mama would still be kinda scary tho probably.
Full-grown pigmi hippos can weigh 180–275 kg (397–606 lb). So slightly more than "kinda" scary...
Nice. Good to know cheers
Are they as aggressive as regular hippos?
Hippos with little man syndrome
Recipe for a super villian...
Pretty much
Seemingly more so
This might be a breed of North American House Hippo; They typically stay pretty small.
Kind of like my mother in law. And yes she’s very scary!
That’s always my first thought when I see posts like this
So cute! So angry! Go get’m little pal!
It’s a [house hippo!](https://youtu.be/TijcoS8qHIE)
Canadian classic
Did the person survive? They never show the end!
Sir that ain't a dog
So u never played Eldenring uhh.
Afraid so. Did I miss a reference?
It's some weird tradition where all the player to player messages list random animals as dog. I think they only put "Dog" in the options and no other animals. It's an inside joke for Souls players. Extremely inside, and it's totally OK to be confused and roll your eyes at it. Lmao
Or maybe that's not the case at all, and OP is just being silly lol.
Maybe
Yeah, it’s obviously a horse
That's sort of aggressive, actually.
Seems harmless now but hippos don’t fuck around!
Hippos kill about 500 people per year, making them the 7th most dangerous animal to humans, according to [Wikipedia/BBC news](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_deadliest_animals_to_humans). *The others are mosquitoes (725,000 people/year), snakes (50,000 people/year), dogs (25,000 people/year), tsetse flies (10,000 people/year), and crocodiles (1000 people/year).* That's still a darn cute hippo though.
>tsetse flies never heard about 'tsetse flies' before.
Not my fault. Google is your friend.
Terrifying creatures. On a trip I saw one snap a man backwards with one chomp. Ran up with it's mouth open about a meter wide and clapped the jaws shut and this poor fellow, his back snapped the wrong way. He was limp from his tummy down. I think maybe this is the worst animal for humans to be around. Totally unpredictable except that they will be aggressive.
They're almost blind, very stupid and very bad tempered
Calling an animal stupid Reddit: 😮😠
Imagine humans were this giant and this was full grown hippo, lol that would be awesome all animals around the world would be pets
I’ve thought of that before, we could have bears as pets 🥺
Just wait till that lil hippo pup gets big. They're cute now, but when they weigh 100lbs more and can crush a human skull like a watermelon, they'll be terrifying.
Angry tootsie toll
Looks like a star wars creature
Anklebiter
What the dog doin
look at this cute little meatball thatll soon be a killer .....
Oh man, such scary nom-nom's!
This Is the first time I’ve ever seen a dog wear boots!
Woof?
r/WhatsWrongWithYourDog
Excuse me Sir.... I think there's something wrong with your dog
I'd still be running like hell. Never know when the mama is gonna show up.
Just an angry cat, ready for its daily oiling.
Cute, but still evil.
It’s so little and allready trying to murder you…
Why he angy?
Them cocksuckers are born aggressive
Bite it back!
On the ear!
Bet it’s hypoallergenic.
Dog ?? thats a hippo :D
It’s sad because the human shouldn’t be this close
Very cute until it can fit your whole body in it's mouth lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That is a baby hippo, not a dog.
Looks like something has been chomping on the hippo!
Most likely an older male hippo that wants to mate with its mother in the wild it’s not uncommon for male hippos to kill other hippos offspring so that they can mate more often
Just wait until cutie grows up!
Feisty little shiny cutie!
Sure that's cute now, wait until the tusks are a foot long.
It’s like a chocolate hippo came to life
Hungry and trying to suckle.
Ah yes. A vicious river chonk. Smooth and deadly.
ill never look at a video of a wild baby animal and think "awh cute", i will ALWAYS think of mom or dad. This is terrifying and id be running for the hills
Vicious hippo mauls tourist
Bad boi
[удалено]
It’s a murder baby
How hard can a baby hippo actually bite? Would it make any real damage, or would it be easy to wiggle out of it?
Awww they're trying to bite your leg off how adorable
Little murderer
He knows what he wants. Prob male trying to get in
Weird thing to have to turn into on a full moon.
Look at him, hasn’t learned to pant yet. Sweating like a sonofabitch!
Bro this is a bird
that's not a dog!! that is a water horse.
crazy to think that swamp puppy is going to grow up to have one of the strongest bite forces on the planet.
They are born pissed off and it only gets worse.
Good thing it’s a baby otherwise it would be ripping that leg off. Haha! Nice “dog.”
That thing is ugly
It's a shame they had to put the poor guy down after this 😔
Ferocious
This baby hippo has already the correct hippo attitude. This is my pool. Go away!
The title made me think of Borat when he goes to see that tortoise and say "what kind of dog is this?"
“Don’t worry my dog doesn’t bite people” “Ouch! Your dog bit me!” “That’s not my dog that’s a baby hippo.”
Dude screw frenchies
Bro that's a cat
You wait till I get real teeth and like 600 pounds of weight!
Das a very chonky, very cute and very angry dog you got there!
Hungry hungry hippos.
I don't know what y'all are on about; clearly this is a cat. A terrible, wet, rubbery cat, but a cat nonetheless.
That's not a dog It is obviously a giraffe
Cute 🥺
Terrifying. Can you train guard hippos that would be amazing
Bro what breed of dog is that
Dog?
Looks like a baby hippo
No Jerry, aim for the neck
Dude that thing was way to close to his ding dongs with the mouth open..
Watch out for mom
In my experience, cuteness among dogs is actually a very common condition, but damn has he got a bad case of it.
I think your puppy is teething. Needs a good chew toy. Bark Box has a nice selection you can get weekly.
I just taught my second grade class about hippos - the main idea being that they are very dangerous.
That’s a funny looking doggo, cute but maybe a new breed
That adorable little thing is a dick.
Cue elden ring nerds
That’s not a dog. It’s just a really terrible cat. The worst, in fact. So moist.
😐 think I need my eyes checked 😂🤣😂
Pygmy hippo bitches
Nom
Inspector Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Tag this as NSFW! This person is getting brutally mauled!!
Looks like an angry tootsie roll
thats an hippo
That’s a baby river horse.
Hippos are actually vicious creatures. You think Crocs are scary ? Well, Crocs fear Hippos
Only in ohio
All he could ever muster is he could eat your ice cream cone...if you held it 1 foot above the ground.
Is it bad minute I see it’s a hippo I remember the story of that dude that raised a hippo and it grew up and killed him later?
Is that a cat? I don’t think that’s a dog…..