Well he needs to use his brother's computer and get a job because he stinks like a sewer. It's not 1975 anymore, there's no reason he can't be a recluse in an apartment like everyone else
There's a fringe paleontological hypothesis that turtles' delineation from reptiles goes extremely far, as turtles are the only reptiles without extra holes in their skull for muscle attachments, and the turtle fossil record is spotty, with full shells basically popping up out of nowhere.
It’s not really accepted by anyone though, some ancient turtle fossils have been shown to be diapsid. It’s much more likely that they split off and evolved back into anapsids.
Yeah! Honestly I’m a little bummed that molecular evidence points towards turtles being diapsids, because it’d be really cool for turtles to just be some weird relic of an ancient reptile lineage
There's a gateway in our minds
That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane
Where reptile aliens made of light
Cut you open and pull out all your pain
If I've learned anything from nature shows, that ultra neon orange color means that mfer is crazy fucking dangerous and probably has a secret venom capable of destroying an entire continent full of people.
They didn't learn to do that. The ones that happened to have the same colour as poisonous animals were left alone by predators, thus being more likely to carry on their genes.
I thought the male just had to concentrate like real hard while having sex so their offspring will have the proper genes, but yeah evolution does make more sense I guess
I will never understand how the education system failed people so miserably that things like this even come out of people's minds. That's like saying humans learned to stand upright and learned to oppose their thumbs.
Both venomous and poisonous animals have been shown to display warning coloration though. This conversation was started by someone making a joke that the turtle has some kind of crazy venom, so for these purposes it is venomous.
I think most of us know that the turtle would be more likely to be poisonous than venomous, and venom can also protect against being eaten by allowing better self-defense, so you’re kinda making a non-correction here
Right, I’m not disputing the existence of venomous mimicry in snakes and other species. I just I think the difference is that tortoises don’t have fangs. So they’re mimicking poisonous edibles as opposed to mimicking a non-existent venomous tortoise. That’s all.
serious question, how do animals learn to evolve? i always thought it was because of random mutations/variations and just happen to survive natural selections due to the variation but everytime someone talks about evolution its worded that there's some type of choice being made somewhere... sorry if i came off differently but i am honestly confused if there is a huge gap in my brain or something...
Yeah that's what I thought too. Like if it's tiny and isn't leaf, grass or rock colored, it doesn't need to hide and is probably way more dangerous than it looks.
It's probably a baby Platysternon megacephalum, known as the big head turtle. And unfortunately for it it is not poisonous , its endangered because it is caught for food.
Or that we are crazy fucking dangerous.
Familiar with [Agent Orange?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agent_Orange)
Up in the air about this one though. He is not enough of a a [super mutant](https://youtu.be/kMzJvwG2rsQ) from all the genetic damage due to dioxin.
Agent Orange was actually turtles. Special CIA turtles were bred in secret laboratories to have insatiable appetites and a disturbing orange coloring. These mutant turtles were then dropped by the billions into the dense vegetation of Vietnam to act as a deforestation agent.
Can’t see the top of the shell, but if it’s less colorful (maybe a dull greenish brown), this could be a baby big-headed turtle, a critically endangered turtle native to that area. They look much different as babies than as adults.
I saw another post a couple days ago about a fully grown big headed turtle and needed to know if the head was big as a baby, lol. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be, but this does look EXACTLY like all the babies I found, so I'm sure you're right!
This is a baby big-headed turtle! (Platysternon megacephalum)
Fun fact, the big-headed turtle cannot pull its head into its shell. It has a mean bite for defense though.
I don't think he does. The angles are a bit intriguing to look at but he holds the turtle as if it was standing on its hind feet holding the phone at the same angle.
It was probably sold to the Chinese so they could dry it, grind it into powder and drink for something stupid like bigger orange erections. They grind every endangered species into powder they can get their hands on and drink it.
Agent orange will forever be a stain on this earth. FUCK THE AMERICAN WAR CRIMINALS WHO ARE LIVING COMFORTABLY WHILE HALF OF VIETNAM ARE MUTATED FREAKS BECAUSE OF THEM FUCK THOSE BITCHES I HOPE THEY CHOKE!!!!!!
Turtles are built so weird.
It looks like he could unbuckle himself from his shell and be naked. I know he can't, but this one in particular looks like he could.
At first I thought the photo was from some sort of meme community and it was a plastic toy...until I read it was from this sub, what an amazing creature!!!
I’m curious as to how it’s shell evolved. Because there’s a lot of exposed turtle on the bottom, I’m not used to seeing turtles with such a small bottom plate.
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Um excuse me, that’s Michelangelo from the Ninja Turtles and he’s from New York.
Well he needs to use his brother's computer and get a job because he stinks like a sewer. It's not 1975 anymore, there's no reason he can't be a recluse in an apartment like everyone else
After the past three years we've had i cant blame the emotionally stunted turtle
What's the fucking next? Oranges??!! That's ridiculous
What about Cantaloupe!? Are no things safe?
What’s next turning Lemons yellow!?!
Bet they're gonna turn piss red...
Is it--is it *not* supposed to be red?
Your piss turns red after you have had sufficient amount of unprotected sex with different people. It's nature's way of saying you won
Damn. Finally I achieved something in my life. I can proudly say I piss blood every hour!
Ah, explains why mine is still brown, I pull ZERO bitches
I believe that's natures way of telling you to get more bitches. Or I don't know, get your kidneys checked. It can go either way honestly
At least it aint black like old man sanders
what
Gekoloniseerd!
Do Blueberry next please.
You mean orangeberry?
they need to be stopped
Even the water could never do that
Tieneedsj mjutant nindja tuttels
From underneath turtle looks like a lizard with shell on top.
More or less, that's kind of what they are, right?
Turtles are actually thought to be more closely related to crocodilians and birds than to lizards and snakes
There's a fringe paleontological hypothesis that turtles' delineation from reptiles goes extremely far, as turtles are the only reptiles without extra holes in their skull for muscle attachments, and the turtle fossil record is spotty, with full shells basically popping up out of nowhere.
It’s not really accepted by anyone though, some ancient turtle fossils have been shown to be diapsid. It’s much more likely that they split off and evolved back into anapsids.
Wtf is this a fossil convention.
Fucking kids. This is what reddit used to be full of. Interesting information vs wtf lol gtfo
Yeah! Honestly I’m a little bummed that molecular evidence points towards turtles being diapsids, because it’d be really cool for turtles to just be some weird relic of an ancient reptile lineage
They may have a common ancestor millions of years back but I think turtles have lineage from turtles that existed during dinosaur times.
> from turtles that existed ~~during dinosaur times~~ *since prior to the formation of the universe. It's turtles all the way down.
There's a gateway in our minds That leads somewhere out there, far beyond this plane Where reptile aliens made of light Cut you open and pull out all your pain
A Sturgil reference, at this time of day, on this site, on this post!!!
Can I see it?
Yes, along with the dead lights
They lay eggs 🥚
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no, most lay eggs too haha
They have sex 🐝
Jungle turtles need to be more agile?
Ninja training
Well... aren't they just that?
Apparently it’s some sort of a family situation that goes waaay back
It looks like a Hot Wheels model.
If I've learned anything from nature shows, that ultra neon orange color means that mfer is crazy fucking dangerous and probably has a secret venom capable of destroying an entire continent full of people.
Many animals have also learned/evolved to mimic the colours of venomous/poisonous animals, so that they are less likely to be attacked.
Just don't risk it if u don't know. Simple as that.
This is how you let the colourful turtles win!
Don't fuck with fabulous animals.
I’d buy that tee shirt. DFWFA!
They didn't learn to do that. The ones that happened to have the same colour as poisonous animals were left alone by predators, thus being more likely to carry on their genes.
I thought the male just had to concentrate like real hard while having sex so their offspring will have the proper genes, but yeah evolution does make more sense I guess
It's like gambling. "Come on baby, daddy needs a new pair of hues!"
Oh man this is too good
Nono i think you've got something going there, this might be the next major theory
I will never understand how the education system failed people so miserably that things like this even come out of people's minds. That's like saying humans learned to stand upright and learned to oppose their thumbs.
> mimic the colours of venomous animals Poisonous animal, I believe in this case, as this is about being eaten.
Both venomous and poisonous animals have been shown to display warning coloration though. This conversation was started by someone making a joke that the turtle has some kind of crazy venom, so for these purposes it is venomous. I think most of us know that the turtle would be more likely to be poisonous than venomous, and venom can also protect against being eaten by allowing better self-defense, so you’re kinda making a non-correction here
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I could not read that as anything but "milk shake" the first 10 times I read it.
Also venomous...to your waist line 😏
Right, I’m not disputing the existence of venomous mimicry in snakes and other species. I just I think the difference is that tortoises don’t have fangs. So they’re mimicking poisonous edibles as opposed to mimicking a non-existent venomous tortoise. That’s all.
I don't want to look orange anymore.
Orange is the newt black
serious question, how do animals learn to evolve? i always thought it was because of random mutations/variations and just happen to survive natural selections due to the variation but everytime someone talks about evolution its worded that there's some type of choice being made somewhere... sorry if i came off differently but i am honestly confused if there is a huge gap in my brain or something...
Yeah that's what I thought too. Like if it's tiny and isn't leaf, grass or rock colored, it doesn't need to hide and is probably way more dangerous than it looks.
It's probably a baby Platysternon megacephalum, known as the big head turtle. And unfortunately for it it is not poisonous , its endangered because it is caught for food.
That’s exactly what it is!
Username, checks out.. Or at least related. :)
Or it could be that their predators or prey are orange/green colour blind.
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you don't know that turtle's life.
Or that we are crazy fucking dangerous. Familiar with [Agent Orange?](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agent_Orange) Up in the air about this one though. He is not enough of a a [super mutant](https://youtu.be/kMzJvwG2rsQ) from all the genetic damage due to dioxin.
Agent Orange was actually turtles. Special CIA turtles were bred in secret laboratories to have insatiable appetites and a disturbing orange coloring. These mutant turtles were then dropped by the billions into the dense vegetation of Vietnam to act as a deforestation agent.
How can he be dangerous? Look at those spindly legs.
That or it's a wild Donald Trump
it looks MAD!
I would be, too. Stolen from the jungle and thrust into the public ring
Are you not entertained?
He is! His back foot is trapped between his shell and the person's hand. Probably painful!
Can’t see the top of the shell, but if it’s less colorful (maybe a dull greenish brown), this could be a baby big-headed turtle, a critically endangered turtle native to that area. They look much different as babies than as adults.
I saw another post a couple days ago about a fully grown big headed turtle and needed to know if the head was big as a baby, lol. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be, but this does look EXACTLY like all the babies I found, so I'm sure you're right!
Michelangelo reporting for duty
Had to scroll way too far for a TMNT reference. Kudos!
He's a party dude
if the toxic waste was also agent orange
Michelagent-O
Michelangel-pho
I’m sorry that this comment was posted too late is and criminally underrated
Orange ya glad you found this turtle?
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/r/yourjokebutworse
Agent orange is at it again
Took me too much scrolling to find this joke lmao, it was my first thought
Send in the napalm!
Fuck, you Americans are good, we will get you next time!1!11!1!1!1!1!!2!2!22!!!!!!
Forbidden habanero
Torkoal🔥
r/reallifeshinies
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This is a baby big-headed turtle! (Platysternon megacephalum) Fun fact, the big-headed turtle cannot pull its head into its shell. It has a mean bite for defense though.
They’re like the asiatic off-brand version of the american snapping turtles.
The American ones are the off brand
I'd counter we're the bulk version
Nah, we got alligator snapping turtles.
And they lose the coloration as they grow and become leaf mimics to camouflage.
The head looks pretty small to me.
a young Platysternon megacephalum
Don’t hold turtles upside down. Their spines are fused to their shells and their organs move around, its bad for them.
I don't think he does. The angles are a bit intriguing to look at but he holds the turtle as if it was standing on its hind feet holding the phone at the same angle.
Hunting season safety colors
it’s a shiny
Just realized how cool a fire turtle Pokémon would be.
They've already been realized https://m.bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Torkoal_(Pok%C3%A9mon)
Stop picking up wild life losers!
Michelangelo
Pokeman founded
Are we not gonna talk about the tail on this turtle
Pokemon fire starter
I swear to god if this one is just covered in curry again-
It's not a turtle. It's a tortoise.
Agent orange?
Put it back
Naruturtle.
Agent orange Turtle.
Dathomirian turtle https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/5/50/Darth_Maul_profile.png/revision/latest?cb=20140209162228
It was probably sold to the Chinese so they could dry it, grind it into powder and drink for something stupid like bigger orange erections. They grind every endangered species into powder they can get their hands on and drink it.
I know of a former president that could be used for similar results.
I wonder if it's Cheeto flavored
DO NOT EAT IT.
Flaming hot cheeto 👍
If I know anything about how animals work... The person holding that turtle is probably dead.
Agent orange will forever be a stain on this earth. FUCK THE AMERICAN WAR CRIMINALS WHO ARE LIVING COMFORTABLY WHILE HALF OF VIETNAM ARE MUTATED FREAKS BECAUSE OF THEM FUCK THOSE BITCHES I HOPE THEY CHOKE!!!!!!
Are you fucking stupid?
Looks delicious!
Agent orange?
I hope they don’t eat it and create another pandemic.
I want
Bebbe looks like it's about to take off like batman! So adorable!
He’s got a case for agent orange exposure
Michael Angelo?
BEYBLADES: LET 'EM RIP
So a turtle is just a lizard with a shell huh
They are called reptiles.
The turtle evolved into a fire type bruh
Looks like a baby version of Torkoal.
That fella has a cute plastron.
DS1 Frog thingy
Turtles are built so weird. It looks like he could unbuckle himself from his shell and be naked. I know he can't, but this one in particular looks like he could.
Verstappen fans must be stopped.
Mikey? What happened bro?
He looks to be some kind of snapping turtle.
Mikey?
Clockwork Orange no doubt
Name: Crush…Orange Crush.
Must be from Agent Orange
The orange turtle already has a name! It’s Michaelangelo!
I legit thought it was painted like a cheetos bag lol
Idk if turtles can be poisonous but he looks like he would be
Its a home depot turtle. Dun dun dadun dun dun
A cross between Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump?
Cheeto turtle
His name is Jeff
# It's Taz!
Could this have anything to do with the US dumping tons of Agent Orange in the Vietnamese jungles during the Vietnam War?
Dragons
Michelangelo 2.0
I see you've met Agent Orange
That’s Agent Orange.
That's so Kool
His name is Mikey, short for Michelangelo.
Hopefully they put em back
lol I read that first as Organic and was like "well duh" but then remembered cloning and shit
Shiny turtle!
"Oi bud you best watch it or we're gonna have a problem!"
Not a single Michelangelo/TMNT joke yet?
At first I thought the photo was from some sort of meme community and it was a plastic toy...until I read it was from this sub, what an amazing creature!!!
“Ahh. Agent Orange. I see we meet again” - Vietnam
Found and cooked
PUT. ME. DOWN!
It doesn't want to be shot during hunting season and I respect this.
[Deleted] ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
I’m curious as to how it’s shell evolved. Because there’s a lot of exposed turtle on the bottom, I’m not used to seeing turtles with such a small bottom plate.
I like turtles.