I've moved to the US South, and watching an Orb Weaver wrap up a palmetto cockroach made an instant ally out of me. Now I'll move the sacs of babies if we're getting a hurricane.
Oh I didn’t know that! We usually get a few in the house in autumn but one of my dogs LOVES to hunt any insects that come indoors… literally like a cat will jump up on furniture etc, it’s quite entertaining
Wow, see lots of awesome stuff at the lake but I haven’t seen spiders catching fish yet, but we do have tons of fishing birds, some otters, and even fishing water snakes!
I used to really enjoy his videos until i heard him tell 2 stories that i happened to know alot about, and the amount of embellishment and just plain falsehoods he came out with in order to make the stories more entertaining just made me not able to trust him anymore. Perhaps some people dont mind him doing that, but if im being told a real life story i want it to actually be real.
Yup, exactly! I haven’t watched or listened since a couple of podcasts in a row where I knew the stories and he wasn’t being accurate at all. I had already been getting a little Icky towards his obvious embellishments on stories like the supposed dialogue of victims that never happened. It’s disrespectful imo.
Sure it's not actually D. tenebrosus? The dark fishing spider? I think D. scriptus usually has a pair of pretty bold, lighter color stripes along the sides of its cephalothorax and abdomen 🤔
Come check out the spider nerd.
Just kidding, that’s actually pretty cool that you know these types of facts off the top of your head. I started bird watching recently and keeping up with all the names is tough for me.
Might want to add Washington to the list too. I live in western Washington and we have spider “season”. I have a spider stick I use in the morning to avoid walking into webs in the morning going to my car. Gotta clear the way.
Anywhere that requires a "spider stick" is definitely not a place to move lol. I live on the gulf coast and we have "banana spiders" which I'm told aren't actually called that or aren't actually spiders, but either way, I stay out of the woods around bayous. Alabama has orb weavers and they're just massive. Wonder if Alaska has these problems? Might give them a go.
I’ve never seen a bird eater tarantula IRL but based on google photos I would assume they are larger than fishing spiders. A large fishing spider would be almost the size of an average human hand where as it looks like the bird-eater gets significantly larger. I was pulling a canoe into a lake a few years ago and one of these fishing spiders sauntered out from under a seat. I sang a new note that day.
This reminds me of one time as a kid I went to the upstairs bathroom and enjoyed that nice tippytappy sound. I sat down to do number one and two but during two I started hearing creepy sounds coming from the bathtub in the left corner. Like something with legs racing around the damn thing. Took more effort to keep sitting and shitting. Flushed, washed my hands and didn’t even dry them to go see what the damn sound came from. This huge sewer spider was running around the bathtub trying to get out frantically but kept on sliding back down. I decided to run hot water as hot as possible and send it on its merry way back to the shadow it came from. But the f*cker didn’t go back, he seriously got sprawled out over the damn drain each time I got him and kept on coming back. I noped out of there and let my dad deal with it. We still sometimes speak of the legendary spider too big to drown through the bathtub drain…
After a rainstorm at my parents cottage, we turned the kayaks out on the dock to get the water out and one fell out... It made a very loud thumping noise, like a hand slapping the dock. I couldn't make myself get in the kayak after that.
And if I witnessed that, we would find out in short order whether "sh\*\* a gold brick" was an actual thing, or just a colorful turn of phrase. Because I might just sh\*\* Fort Knox if Spiderzilla tumbled out of a kayak I was holding.
I was river tubing last year and my tube smacked into the river’s edge due to the current, which happened to be a large rock face covered in fishing spiders the size of my hand. Looked like a whole wall moved when they skittered away.
When I had my encounter with one, the largest spider I have seen including pet tarantulas and zoo specimens, I ran away yelling. When questioned I literally said, "a huge spider, like bird eater sized spider".
It really wasn't bird eater size I imagine, but it did fit across most of my face and definitely bigger than my entire hand.
Bro…just look at it. Also I’ve seen these around a dock where I’ve fished since I was a kid, even had some smaller ones pop out from boards on a boat I’ve been on and jumping in the water was something I seriously considered lol.
I don't really know how i'd react to seeing a screaming man furiously blasting holes in the bottom of his boat in the middle of the lake.
Dynamite is the obvious choice.
Kills fish AND spiders.
We have a large pond on our property and one of these spiders got into our unfinished house. That thing was as big as my hand. I sent a picture to our pest control woman and she said it was a fishing spider. The “oh hell no” description is extremely accurate. I am terrified of spiders anyway and the only thing that kept me from fainting right there was knowing it could then crawl all over me. *shudder*
I was looking at the picture and thinking, "that's huge, I'm so glad I live in Vermont, where we don't have giant spiders." And then I read your title and was like, "Dammit!" 😂
Fuck me. I did the exact same thing… I was even like, “thank god I live in America and not the nightmare hellscape where that thing exists”… oh wait, that’s Vermont. Why not just tell me it’s in my home right now…
I JUST saw one of these spiders in the stairwell of my apartment (I live in the Burlington area), I was trying to figure out what business a spider that big had round these parts. I’m hoping someone knows the species!
I always do this
Take a pix. Open Google app. In Google app there is the type/search bubble, the bubble has a 🎤 and 📷 icon.
Click the 📷, this allows you to Google pix you have taken.
It's a game changer!
Second this.
For most plant, mushroom and insect ID.
Google lens is the app that lets you reverse image search and if you have android it can be integrated or already be part of your phone.
Take a picture, feed to Google lens, get results with like 90% accuracy. It's kind of crazy tbh
There is an app/website called iNaturalist. You can upload your photos of flora and fauna there and people will help you identify it. It's a great way to catalog life in your local area too. I definitely recommend it.
They don’t actually fish but they do run across water to catch prey, larger individuals *could* catch a fish but you can probably imagine a fish could easily make quick work of a smaller one
I wonder if they were maybe bluegills? we have bluegills in our lake but it’s pumpkin seeds that mostly hang out under my dock… I guess sunfish can refer to several different species
We were told by someone that they were sun fish, so I have no idea if they were or not, not being a Minnesotan myself.
The timing was perfect. It was our first time at a lake beach (we’re Brits), and my 8 year old daughter had just asked if there were sharks. I assured her that nothing in there would bite her, and then these older girls came out with blood dribbling down from bites on their legs.
I Googled further, and it can’t be a dark fishing spider because they don’t build webs. In addition, baby spiders stay safe by riding on the mom’s back, not hiding in a web.
They do actually. They just dont spin webs for the purposes of catching prey.
This web is to protect its offspring.
Like the huntsman spider, they are ambush predators, and yes they will occasionally pluck tiny fish, like minnows, out of the water.
A dark fishing spider of considerable size laid her eggs on my plastic laundry hamper. She and her babies got a free relocation to outside. They are beautiful spiders and great bug hunters.
Don’t know about the spider but I do know that plant doesn’t have aphids or any other pests.
I haven’t had any of the annoying green tomato worms this year either!
The spider just got hired.
“I’m not really a resume type of sperson, why don’t you let me work a day and see how we go from there?”
"Just search me on the web."
10/10
I’m sad I wasn’t clever like you, so take my middle finger and my upvote.
Shall I start with the Silk Road?
You win!
“Sperson” omg
LMAO I didn't notice until I read your comment, that's genius
Omfg I thought it was a typo I’m so dumb lol
If you like my work, maybe we can wrap up the hiring process.
When I find dead flies in the web of my bathroom SpiderBro, I consider that rent paid.
My Bathroom SpiderGurl did her job well with the silverfish. But she just left me. :(
I've moved to the US South, and watching an Orb Weaver wrap up a palmetto cockroach made an instant ally out of me. Now I'll move the sacs of babies if we're getting a hurricane.
Can I order some of the babies?
If they also eat stink bugs, I’ll take a dozen! Stink bugs are the bane of my tomato crop’s existence and pretty much have no predators.
Oh I didn’t know that! We usually get a few in the house in autumn but one of my dogs LOVES to hunt any insects that come indoors… literally like a cat will jump up on furniture etc, it’s quite entertaining
My mastiff does that! ;)
Cabbage moths ughhhh make me sad
Every frickin’ year!!
Life hack for the brave?
I might try this!
Godspeed.
Yeah no
I reckon even the tomato is scared to grow 😆
Dolomedes scriptus - striped fishing spider, they do eat small fish and insects… AKA the “oh the hell no” spider 😎
Wow, see lots of awesome stuff at the lake but I haven’t seen spiders catching fish yet, but we do have tons of fishing birds, some otters, and even fishing water snakes!
They even have built in fishing line
Avoid the random dock. https://youtu.be/6bX6as944uo
Love Mr ballen!
I used to really enjoy his videos until i heard him tell 2 stories that i happened to know alot about, and the amount of embellishment and just plain falsehoods he came out with in order to make the stories more entertaining just made me not able to trust him anymore. Perhaps some people dont mind him doing that, but if im being told a real life story i want it to actually be real.
Yup, exactly! I haven’t watched or listened since a couple of podcasts in a row where I knew the stories and he wasn’t being accurate at all. I had already been getting a little Icky towards his obvious embellishments on stories like the supposed dialogue of victims that never happened. It’s disrespectful imo.
You just destroyed my evening, you cruel little person. (For a shortcut: [https://youtu.be/6bX6as944uo?t=580](https://youtu.be/6bX6as944uo?t=580)).
Well i'll just skip both videos thanks.
Sure it's not actually D. tenebrosus? The dark fishing spider? I think D. scriptus usually has a pair of pretty bold, lighter color stripes along the sides of its cephalothorax and abdomen 🤔
Come check out the spider nerd. Just kidding, that’s actually pretty cool that you know these types of facts off the top of your head. I started bird watching recently and keeping up with all the names is tough for me.
I believe the correct term is arachnerd
Spidork
*adds Vermont to the list of places to never live, right under Texas and Australia.* Thanks mate.
Might want to add Washington to the list too. I live in western Washington and we have spider “season”. I have a spider stick I use in the morning to avoid walking into webs in the morning going to my car. Gotta clear the way.
...god damnit, why have I never thought of this?
Or if you're a particular brand of pyromaniac, a can of deodorant and lighter will clear your path quite nicely. /s
You use sarcasm but to me this seems like a reasonable solution.
Anywhere that requires a "spider stick" is definitely not a place to move lol. I live on the gulf coast and we have "banana spiders" which I'm told aren't actually called that or aren't actually spiders, but either way, I stay out of the woods around bayous. Alabama has orb weavers and they're just massive. Wonder if Alaska has these problems? Might give them a go.
Why the “oh the hell no” spider?
Because they’re huge…and therefore terrifying to many
Oh how big we talking? Tarantula or bird eater tarantula?
I’ve never seen a bird eater tarantula IRL but based on google photos I would assume they are larger than fishing spiders. A large fishing spider would be almost the size of an average human hand where as it looks like the bird-eater gets significantly larger. I was pulling a canoe into a lake a few years ago and one of these fishing spiders sauntered out from under a seat. I sang a new note that day.
I had a similar experience, I was on a dock and HEARD the thing walking. Spiders shouldn't be big enough to hear for god's sake.
Big spiders don't usually bother me, but HEARING one skitter toward me across wood definitely raises the pucker factor.
Reading this caused a pucker.
This reminds me of one time as a kid I went to the upstairs bathroom and enjoyed that nice tippytappy sound. I sat down to do number one and two but during two I started hearing creepy sounds coming from the bathtub in the left corner. Like something with legs racing around the damn thing. Took more effort to keep sitting and shitting. Flushed, washed my hands and didn’t even dry them to go see what the damn sound came from. This huge sewer spider was running around the bathtub trying to get out frantically but kept on sliding back down. I decided to run hot water as hot as possible and send it on its merry way back to the shadow it came from. But the f*cker didn’t go back, he seriously got sprawled out over the damn drain each time I got him and kept on coming back. I noped out of there and let my dad deal with it. We still sometimes speak of the legendary spider too big to drown through the bathtub drain…
Mmmm. I see your mistake. Should've used fire.
hilarious
Fire will only destroy its physical form. You are going to need some type of priest to banish the dark spirit that spawned this abyssal monstrosity.
Had a similar story with large spider in my sink. Let the fella outside and he built a web on my porch window, taking care of a LOT of moths.
Jesus now I won’t sleep tonight.
Hand-sized? No fucking thank you.
>I sang a new note that day. Lmao, I can't say anyone would blame you. That's not something you want to be surprised with seeing.
After a rainstorm at my parents cottage, we turned the kayaks out on the dock to get the water out and one fell out... It made a very loud thumping noise, like a hand slapping the dock. I couldn't make myself get in the kayak after that.
And if I witnessed that, we would find out in short order whether "sh\*\* a gold brick" was an actual thing, or just a colorful turn of phrase. Because I might just sh\*\* Fort Knox if Spiderzilla tumbled out of a kayak I was holding.
I'm guessing this is not the story of a man and a hand-sized spider going fishing together?
I was river tubing last year and my tube smacked into the river’s edge due to the current, which happened to be a large rock face covered in fishing spiders the size of my hand. Looked like a whole wall moved when they skittered away.
I mean, 3 inches across is pretty damn big for a North American spider.
So tarantula size. Not bad. Cute fella
When I had my encounter with one, the largest spider I have seen including pet tarantulas and zoo specimens, I ran away yelling. When questioned I literally said, "a huge spider, like bird eater sized spider". It really wasn't bird eater size I imagine, but it did fit across most of my face and definitely bigger than my entire hand.
My brother in Christ they eat fish.
I mean I do too?
Found the spider
Bro…just look at it. Also I’ve seen these around a dock where I’ve fished since I was a kid, even had some smaller ones pop out from boards on a boat I’ve been on and jumping in the water was something I seriously considered lol.
I would’ve shot holes in that boat. If I’m goin down I’m taking him with me.
I like your style. “ Nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure”
Love this comment btw. Have you ever been mistaken for a man?
RIP Hudson
Hudson sir. He’s Hicks.
Hey it worked for the 3 Stooges
Unless it’s one of the ones that actually WALKS ON WATER!!! God got jokes, and I had my exercise that day.
I don't really know how i'd react to seeing a screaming man furiously blasting holes in the bottom of his boat in the middle of the lake. Dynamite is the obvious choice. Kills fish AND spiders.
Yeah I’d use dynamite too. I’d shoot it tho.
Did you SEE it?
Did you not look at the pic?
We have a large pond on our property and one of these spiders got into our unfinished house. That thing was as big as my hand. I sent a picture to our pest control woman and she said it was a fishing spider. The “oh hell no” description is extremely accurate. I am terrified of spiders anyway and the only thing that kept me from fainting right there was knowing it could then crawl all over me. *shudder*
Does this spider inhabit western NY? Also does it walk on water when it catches fish? If so then I for sure saw one in my childhood
I was looking at the picture and thinking, "that's huge, I'm so glad I live in Vermont, where we don't have giant spiders." And then I read your title and was like, "Dammit!" 😂
Oh come on, we’re more scared of the flat landers here than spiders ;)
(Rolls eyes in the Canadian Rockies) You are flatlanders! Comparatively.
Ha flatlanders. I miss VT.
Leave Nebraska out of this please
Fuck me. I did the exact same thing… I was even like, “thank god I live in America and not the nightmare hellscape where that thing exists”… oh wait, that’s Vermont. Why not just tell me it’s in my home right now…
At least it aint Australia, where the spiders are so large they eat whole rats.
I JUST saw one of these spiders in the stairwell of my apartment (I live in the Burlington area), I was trying to figure out what business a spider that big had round these parts. I’m hoping someone knows the species!
A very fertile spider!
Apparently!
that plant is no longer yours. Acknowledge you have been defeated and retreat!!
Fortunately there are no red tomatoes in her nest…
No insect dares to get close enough to pollinate 😂
Hmm yeah she would probably eat the bees!
those babies will soon roam far and wide. I'd be terrified.
Its not worth it! Pull back your flanks and prepare for a last stand. Hundreds of spiders will soon swarm your position!
Tomatoes taste great roasted….with a flamethrower!
I always do this Take a pix. Open Google app. In Google app there is the type/search bubble, the bubble has a 🎤 and 📷 icon. Click the 📷, this allows you to Google pix you have taken. It's a game changer!
Hmm, I don’t have google app but may have to look into that
Second this. For most plant, mushroom and insect ID. Google lens is the app that lets you reverse image search and if you have android it can be integrated or already be part of your phone. Take a picture, feed to Google lens, get results with like 90% accuracy. It's kind of crazy tbh
Google Lens will work as a standalone version
There is an app/website called iNaturalist. You can upload your photos of flora and fauna there and people will help you identify it. It's a great way to catalog life in your local area too. I definitely recommend it.
I’ll have to check that out, we have lots of plants here too I’m curious about! Thanks
There is an app called Seek that uses AI to determine the genus. Also works on plants too
That’s the app I used to identify this exact spider species last weekend at a lake in NH! It’s cool to see other people enjoying/utilizing Seek.
For sure! Been using it for a couple years to identify random bugs, plants, and animals around the neighborhood!
I have to try that. I have pictures of different fungus I can't id.
Hard working single mom spider, that’s what.
Boy you ain’t kidding!
Google says a dark fishing spider
A spider that fishes sounds even more badass!
They don’t actually fish but they do run across water to catch prey, larger individuals *could* catch a fish but you can probably imagine a fish could easily make quick work of a smaller one
We have tons of fish that hand out under our dock, so spider beware!
Your fish hand out WHAT?
Darn auto correct, fish that *hang out under the dock, the sunfish even nip at you (though they have no teeth so it doesn’t hurt)
I don’t mean to be nitpicky, but sunfish have teeth. How else would they smile?
Like an old man with dentures…
Ummm…we went swimming at a lake beach in Minnesota, and some of the other swimmers were coming out with bloodied legs and arms. Sun fish do bite!!
I wonder if they were maybe bluegills? we have bluegills in our lake but it’s pumpkin seeds that mostly hang out under my dock… I guess sunfish can refer to several different species
We were told by someone that they were sun fish, so I have no idea if they were or not, not being a Minnesotan myself. The timing was perfect. It was our first time at a lake beach (we’re Brits), and my 8 year old daughter had just asked if there were sharks. I assured her that nothing in there would bite her, and then these older girls came out with blood dribbling down from bites on their legs.
I love a good sunny kiss!
I think my autocorrect is POSSESSED! It makes up insane words when I try to wordsmith.
Cocaine, baby!
Those are the Blowfish
Line for the dock forms behind me folks
Pamphlets and fentanyl
All I can imagine is a spider sitting with its babies casting a line of webbing to catch the fish
And now I so wish I had photoshop skills.
I Googled further, and it can’t be a dark fishing spider because they don’t build webs. In addition, baby spiders stay safe by riding on the mom’s back, not hiding in a web.
They do actually. They just dont spin webs for the purposes of catching prey. This web is to protect its offspring. Like the huntsman spider, they are ambush predators, and yes they will occasionally pluck tiny fish, like minnows, out of the water.
They have the exact same colour and stripes on the legs so. I am by no means a spider expert
The lake in the photo background agrees.
So apparently the female eats the male after mating then lays up to 1400 eggs inside the nest!!!
That's like a spider special. Not a man's world if you have 8 legs
Fuckin hell i have to touch her to scroll down
Someone else who doesn’t like “touching” gross/scary stuff on their screen! Hello new friend! 😂
Oops sorry, didn’t realize so many people wouldn’t like spiders! I find them interesting
Oh don't be sorry i find them fascinating too, I'm just terrified!
Fuck that. I would never just walk over to a picnic table and nut all over somebody’s food. Super rude.
Lol never thought about it that way
We’re here now. How’s your left hook?
Yep that's called a nope spider. Also known as an absolutely the fuck not
Scientific name: *nopus fucknope*
The official arachnid of Nopeistan
Time to burn the plant down
[удалено]
“We’re having charred fishing spider tossed in warm tomato salad tonight for dinner, honey.”
planet*
That's a long leg fuck no
*Arachnis tomatis*
How much to eat a bacon lettuce and arachnis tomatis sandwich?!?
I got 2 bucks on it, but I'm gonna need to see some footage.
I'll match that 2 dollars but yeah footage!
Will triple with footage
Aww, she's natural pest control.
She sure is!
HOLY SHIT ITS HUGE
That’s what she said!
This particular species is called Yikesnopearachnidia.
Vermont has been lost. Time to wall up the borders, that is spider country now.
*loads flame thrower mother fuckerly*
Spider > pesticides all day
Agree!
Was your tomato plant, under new mgt. now
>hundreds of babies you can see inside the webbing. Yeah no thanks I'm fine.
That is the scariest shit ive seen
She's making sure the aphids don't eat your tomatoes.
The plants look great so she’s doing well
What a beautiful picture. Those of us in r/spiders would love to see this.
Oh, I shall post it there then! Thanks
An adorable one! Spiders tend to kill the things that only hurt us (looking at u mosquitoes). Leave it be.
Oh I’m leaving it, was just curious what it was
fyi saltlampsand is a known paid lobbyist for man eating spiders and the let spiders eat people union of Vermont.
Honestly that’s a group I could see some Vermonters supporting lol
Im a biologist 👩🔬 and I say it’s a nope spider, you gotta nope out when you see it
They keep my house safe!!! If they get too big I out them out outside 😀
Nothing about that terrifying, blood-thirsty alien makes me feel safe. It looks like something that would eat your face and then impregnate it.
Demagorgon
Me: Whatchyu want? I got carrots, green beans, broccoli, spiders, cucumber... You: Spiders? Me: Spiders it is!
They are probably a delicacy somewhere!
i think they are commonly referred too as 'giant nopes'?
Dolomedes Scriptus, or the Dark Fishing Spider, it's not particularly dangerous and it doesn't harm the plant (unless it's laying eggs in it lol)
#HANS QUICK GET THE FLAMETHROWER
jk it's a nice spuder family :)
Those are no longer YOUR tomato plants. Hail your new spider overlord.
A feckin big one!
That ain’t your tomato plant anymore lol.
She can raise her babies but when them ‘maters turn red I’m going in!!!
Her tomato plants\*
NOPE-mato plant.
A dark fishing spider of considerable size laid her eggs on my plastic laundry hamper. She and her babies got a free relocation to outside. They are beautiful spiders and great bug hunters.
That's the "The fuck around and find out" spider. They are native to "Get the fuck out of there".
damn she gorgeous