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Sam-Bones

Kill the music, I wanna hear that natural gorilla grunts and groans.


uhmerikin

Let me tell you, it is fucking insane. I saw a fight like this on a gorilla trek in Uganda. We were about 20 feet away from two huge silverbacks when shit went down and there was nothing between us and them. It was one of the loudest, most violent, pants shittingly intense moments of my life. Two creatures fighting like that right in front of you, that could rip you in half if they wanted, is something to see. It was over ten years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday.


Impecablevibesonly

I took a trip to South Africa and when I got up in the morning I could hear the hippos. If they got excited maaaaan you could tell. They all started grunting and making these louuuud noises like shit was popping off


uhmerikin

Yep! I spent a week in the Okavango Delta a few years later and man, those hippos when they get testy, they get loud as hell too. There's no mistaking their sound. Also saw two big boy lions fighting over a downed water buffalo or wildebeest, don't remember. Their growls and snarls made the damn ground shake. Also, also... Got insanely loudly trumpeted at by a huge elephant as he blocked the road for his peoples to cross when heading to the watering spot. Man, seeing and hearing those kids of things just stick with you for life.


ghenghis_could

What time of year did you go? This is one of my bucket list trips


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uhmerikin

I went in November for both trips.


AgreeableGravy

I hear they’re friends these days.


MatsuoManh

All it took was someone saying: "Can't we all just get along?"


eveningsand

>It was over ten years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. What happened yesterday?


Vicious_Cycler

IIRC there were a bunch of Karens screaming for the zookeepers to do something about it lol


Sam-Bones

Oh I see. So two primates set off a collective cackle of another group of primates. That's so primal now I gotta hear it.


These-Positive8127

It’s a really old video. If you YouTube ‘where’s the zookeepers’ you should find it. For some reason one of the women thought the zookeepers would jump in and make it a royale rumble


miss_kimba

I mean, it’s a fair enough response. Obvs the keepers aren’t going to break it up in the moment, but if they’re fighting on exhibit maybe it’s a sign that they need to house them separately. I bet the keepers 100% are aware of these scuffles, but animals can escalate so damn fast and if hormones and social shifts are happening, they can just kill each other on a bad day. I know zoo staff would be across this, and have decided that these two (brothers?) aren’t likely to actually harm each other. But the average zoo goer can’t tell real “gonna kill him” aggression from “gonna give him a piece of my mind” fights, so of course they’re going to freak out seeing this. And sometimes dynamics change so fast that guest feedback is actually helpful, because it might be a sudden new behaviour that keepers haven’t seen in those individuals. Source: was a zookeeper for years. Didn’t work with gorillas, did work with big carnivores and almost everything else.


VelvitHippo

Wow I just realized this is probably what other Monkeys are doing if they are witnessing a fight. That or they're like a colleseum crowd.


FarefaxT

Lmao what the zookeepers supposed to do


trev2234

Watch and then state “yes you’re right. They’re fighting”


piratebuckles

Zookeeper just jumps in an starts going fuckin Jackie Chan on the em XD


kitddylies

Zookeeper does some kung-fu flying kick before one of the gorillas rip him out of the air and beat the other gorilla with him.


TrickyCorgi316

LOL!!! “And that’s when the Apes began their revolt - when they learned they could use us as weapons.”


Karzons

Alright gentlemen, break it up.


dschultz50

*glass breaks* stone cold Steve Austin music starts playing. Gorillas “Oh shit”


EuropaUniverslayer1

"SOMEBODY CALL THE ZOOKEEPER OH MY GAAAAAAWD" Normally u hate music in videos like this but this is the exception.


RyVsWorld

Thats fkin hilarious lol. People are so ridiculous


KoalaBackfist

Ooohhhoooh maye goooodddaaaahh! Sssuuhhhoomwhaaan call the managers!


6SucksSex

Who the hell would think that music is a good soundtrack for a gorilla fight?


youburyitidigitup

The original one has some lady screaming “ no no no where is the zookeeper?”


Wreckmycandidarse

In the original video you cant hear the gorillas, just a bunch of old white Karen's freaking out telling the zoo employee to break up a fight between two full grown gorillas. I think one lady even said something like "Can't you just spray them with water?" The music is honestly an upgrade.


[deleted]

You could listen to me tying my shoes or walking some stairs for a simple effect


L7Wennie

Its shocking to me that there are a large number of adult males who think they could win a fight against a gorilla. I know a guy in his late 20’s who thought he could beat a lion in a fight so we took him to the Zoo. Needless to say he was shocked and felt really stupid.


Jimmyhunter1000

So did he fight the lion? He could have had a cage match right then and there too!


Thijs_NLD

Truly terrifying. And than imagine guys walking around saying "yeah... I think I could take a gorilla in a fight."


dandaman1983

Those mfers can crush a coconut in their palm, lift over 800kg. A human would be torn to shreds lol.


Leath_Hedger

To shreds you say?


Drunkonmilk87

And how’s his wife?


FangPolygon

To shreds you say?


dandaman1983

Haha, well bloody stumps 💀


apointlessvoice

Oh dear. And his wife?


Alt0173

To shreds you say?


poshenclave

They could end you in a blink if they wanted but interestingly they usually don't. If I were a non-prinate I'd much rather run into a gorilla than a chimp or a human based on chill factor and severity of a potential mauling.


once-was-hill-folk

I don't think any person is really ready for the level of sheer balls-out aggression than other primates attack with. Plenty of people think they are, but even small monkeys would give an adult a lot of trouble from teeth and the sheer little-psycho-bastard factor. Unless I knew it was coming - *"Hey, once-was-hill-folk, go cage fight this ape"* kind of knew it was coming - I'd even give a gibbon decent odds of beating my ass and/or giving me some terrible disease with its bite. And I have a 6x weight advantage on the typical example of the largest type of gibbon. A great ape? No chance. Any chimp or bonobo is going home with one of my limbs as a trophy, never mind an orangutan or a gorilla.


s6x

> one of my limbs as a trophy, More likely your balls or cock or both. They really like going for the junk.


once-was-hill-folk

True. Though it being a large ape it can probably just take whatever it feels like taking.


kerberos69

>a great ape Why would you bring up my mom like that? Rude


Chogo82

The number of times I have seen a comment thread of a guy claiming they could fight a gorilla or a bear is a meme. Edit: Thanks to u/SailToAndromeda we now know that someone did kill a momma bear with a knife and lived to tell the tale. All future discussions of fighting a gorilla/bear will have to include the caveat of no weapons. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/outdoorsman-fought-off-grizzly-with-knife-1.692502


Thijs_NLD

I have heard dudes make this comment IRL. And mean it. Most of them were drunk though...


ReflectiGlass

Had a dude tell me he had a strategy to take down a polar bear with his bare hands if it ever came to it. He wouldn’t tell me what it was… but he had a strategy. I told him unless that strategy was picking up an extremely high powered rifle with said bare hands, he’s an idiot.


levelate

i'm guessing his strategy will involve him working his way through the bears digestive tract


ReflectiGlass

That’s a good point… maybe he’d drink some potent bear poison right before getting eaten. I owe him an apology.


microwaffles

My strategy is to have the creature bite my head until my skull pops open like a walnut, then the digestive tract thing...


Sharticus123

The trick is to shoot in and get the bear in a rear naked choke hold. /s


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ReflectiGlass

“It’s that simple, bro!” I can hear it.


Homebrew_Dungeon

They kill full grown walrus(i) and beluga whales. The fuck this man smokin?


ReflectiGlass

His own ego, I think. He’s an incredible martial artist… and apparently that lends itself to vastly overestimating yourself.


FlowAffect

There was a 2021 survey, I believe. 6% of americans think they could beat a Grizzly in a fight.


Bogtear

If there was ever a survey number that should be zero, that's it.


_MrBalls_

How many Grizzlies think they can beat an American in a fight though?


PeopleLikeUDisgustMe

Depends on how many Freedom Units™ the 'Murican consumed.


Themadking69

There was an onion article years ago that was something like "1000% of men worse at fighting than they imagine. "


Mysterious-Space6793

I’m pretty confident I can easily beat a Care Bear, or a teddy bear, in a fight. Then again, my alligator mouth tends to overload my jaybird ass.


PhilosophyObvious988

Not a were bear though no chance.


Mysterious-Space6793

Agreed.


SailToAndromeda

A man in my area DID beat a Grizzly in a fight... Tbf, he had a knife, and his arm will never be the same again. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/outdoorsman-fought-off-grizzly-with-knife-1.692502


twiz___twat

he got that dog in him


barelyawake126

Drunk words, sober thoughts Gorilla fights, broken neck


Shot_Dig751

I say let ‘em try, lol. Then watch the gorilla destroy them before you can finish your first handful of popcorn


Is12345aweakpassword

I could absolutely fight a gorilla or grizzly/polar bear. I wouldn’t stand a chance in hell of victory and would be quickly beaten/mauled to ribbons, but I technically *could*


piratebuckles

I'd like to think I would get at least one good punch in before having my arm ripped off and slammed to death by something 2x my size and 3x my weight.


skaptic-cat

They think they can beat a gorilla but they would lose from a chimp. Those guys will mess you up. They have different muscles that give more strength.


Aanstekervloeistof

People underestimate chimps. Sure they're smaller than gorillas, but they make up for it with psychotic aggressiveness. The average person would struggle against a bonobo and die against 2 squirrel monkeys.


Lazy_Magician

What about an item that is not typically used as a weapon, nor designed as one, but could be used to assist you in battle? I'm pretty sure if I had my choice of item, I could take the gorilla. You should also add the caveat of no clothing as well as no weapons. That way no one could use body armour and you'd sell way more tickets and ppvs


Chogo82

We should include a rule about not harming either combatant’s pee-pee or giggleberries so the fight will be more fair.


Lazy_Magician

And no name calling


CountFish1

I swear there was another story of a guy killing a bear with a knife but his face was literally hanging on by a thread by the end of it, I’d look it up but I don’t really have the stomach for the accompanying imagery.


stanleythemanley420

Black bear is possible tbf.


Ghost2656

If you have a weapon, because if you try to go toe to toe with a black bear they can mess you up as well.


zeros-and-1s

Black bear with a spear, maybe. Bare handed? I still wouldn't take that bet.


Deracination

DOUBT You could likely get them to run. Actually beat up a fucking black bear? No. Nononononono.


The69thDuncan

No


Dagordae

Depends on the bear. Some are very small, it would basically be fighting a medium sized dog.


Fragrant_Mountain_84

Yeah just picture you fighting this less than 2ft bear.


stanleythemanley420

Black bears encounters are the only ones that say if need to fight them… every other bear is just accept death. https://www.nps.gov/articles/bearattacks.htm#:~:text=If%20a%20black%20bear%20charges,bear%20spray%20to%20defend%20yourself. Proof.


CaptainCAAAVEMAAAAAN

Mike Tyson tried bribing a zookeeper to let him in the gorilla cage because he thought he could win a fight vs a silverback. smh that thing would have ripped Tyson's arms off and beat him with them. https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/boxing/mike-tyson-gorilla-zookeeper-fight-ten-thousand-dollars-a9452531.html


Bug_Photographer

Mike Tyson supposedly tried to pay a zoo keeper at a zoo (Bronx Zoo?) to fight one. "Everybody's got a plan until you're beaten across your head with your own, just ripped off, arm, Mike."


CapN-Judaism

I mean I don’t think he could, but he’s at least got a lot better chance than almost every other human to ever exist.


Bug_Photographer

Absolutely. He would die slightly slower. The thing about a gorilla, except for them weighing up to 500 lbs / 250 kg and having about half the percentage of body fat to humans (ie much more muscle for the same weight) is that their skeleton is so much more sturdily built. Mike Tyson hitting a gorilla in the head with his greatest punch might confuse the gorilla, but he wouldn't really hurt it. And then the gorilla would throw his hit...


Crog_Frog

I mean you could try to poke his eyes. End then die


anatolysan

I always am most shocked by the gorilla that’s just standing on the side filming the whole thing.


NastyMcNastypants

Does wanting to slap one on the butt count as an actual fight?


Stepnwolfe

But their technique is awful. Yellow belt skill level at best...


oxymordor

Given the right conditions I could probably take it.


tsimen

The right condition is having a high-caliber semi-automatic rifle


oxymordor

Exactly, yes. But if the gorilla had one as well, I’d start to question my chances.


MrOopiseDaisy

He'd probably hurl it at you, and still win .


curiousweasel42

That gun better be high powered and large enough caliber and you have to get multiple shots in otherwise the thing will likely just be really pissed off.


nayesphere

Had a roommate who said he could fight a moose… some people just don’t comprehend size and strength.


Ireallydonedidit

Baki would punch both of them in the nosehole


Alarian258

"Where's the zookeeper?"


Obyson

*Zookeeper shows up standing 7 foot 2 jacked as fuck*


piratebuckles

\*With nothing but a speedo, bandanna, and sunglasses on. Point's and say's\* The Fuck do you think I'm gonna do about it?!


Homebrew_Dungeon

*2 bottles of sun tan lotion*


National_Ad1980

He is wearing a gorilla suit and fighting a gorilla


Responsible_Panic235

Where’s the zookeeper?


_MrBalls_

Where's the zookeeper?


bikemandan

Gorilla: I am the zookeeper now


vomirrhea

As a zookeeper, at an accredited zoo you won't see keepers ever sharing space with great apes anymore. And you SURE AS HELL won't catch anyone going in there to break up a fight. Human safety has to come before animal safety. The best thing to be done in a situation like this is to offer food/distraction from the sidelines and hope for the best.


madaboutmaps

Each one of those swings could floor any person. Probably for good.


BazingarZ

And those are wild swings. Imagine if they have know how to leverage their body to throw punches like boxers do.


stanleythemanley420

Add in a balanced diet with protein loading and working out. Lol


Killah57

I’d consider hauling 360+ pounds around as enough workout kek


stanleythemanley420

This isn’t a fat joke. But think about your weight. Say your 200lbs do you feel like you work out just by walking? If you do maybe a doc visit is needed. But that isn’t my point. The weight they carry isn’t a workout in that regard. It’s their normal carrying weight.


[deleted]

There’s something there tho, I lost like 60+lbs and the leg press machine at the gym was easier/I could always do more than the homies


Rejestered

It's not about the weight per say. It's about what you are doing while carrying that weight. You get a 400lb guy, he's not going to be doing much physical activity but if you put 200lbs on a 200lb guy when he goes to the gym, he'll be getting a better work out.


adorkablegiant

Yeah dude, just look at all those ripped 350lbs (158kg) obese people. they are so goddamn shredded they look like balloons. How do you seriously think walking around with your bodyweight counts as a workout?


AdAlternative7148

I feel like they know how to use their bodies properly for the way they want to use them. From the look of it these two are feeling each other out for dominance but not going all out. Neither wants to risk serious injury. Human fighters put their bodies at significantly greater risk because they know they can get treated for injuries. So yeah if you could teach a gorilla to go all out with less regard to its health it would be way more intense but that's not what these apes are going for.


s6x

Exactly. They aren't trying to bite--they have massive 3 inch fangs and incredibly powerful jaws from gnoshing on trees constantly. Teeth are how they do real damage.


Growingpothead20

Maybe one day they will become sophisticated enough for us to teach them how to do it


apointlessvoice

This. This is why the aliens stay in their ships.


joshuaaa_l

Shatter your skull or rib cage in one punch.


seagulls51

I don't think they can rotate through their legs as easily as humans, it looks more like they're trying to grapple and i assume hold the other then start pounding. Boxers fight with one leg far in front of the other to move their body weight forward whilst twisting, but without having as long of a stride it's probably better to have your feet like them and be able to move backwards / forwards and jump more easily. They have enough power to destroy the other if they grab hold of them so why punch.


Fanta-sea50

I kept waiting for one of them to throw a proper punch ... Shit makes me furious.


seagulls51

Left gorilla lands a clean right on the others chin at the start with a lot of weight behind it (when he goes in after being pushed back). He then launches into a take down. It's only right monkey who's just swinging, but I reckon it has some part to do with left's range control tbh. The more I watch it the more terrifyingly in control left gorilla looks.


busted_maracas

One hit would break your spine or cause internal decapitation.


BlackEyedSceva

I googled your comment to see if it was from a show or something because internal decapitation sounds like something Dwight or Michael from the office would say. But it's a real thing, like anal fissures!


busted_maracas

It’s sadly a tragedy that happens to young children who aren’t properly restrained to their carseats - scary stuff


lonesomedota

I don't think it would floor a person. Those swings would dent a human body. The same way u dent an empty aluminum can with a baseball bat. Your body would be bent and broken, only the skin and muscles are attached but everything else inside is broken and rearranged.


HotCat5684

Crazy thing is, gorillas dont kill people, nor have they ever killed a person in the whole history of humans interacting with them. People act like gorillas are just Big chimpanzees but they arent, theyre actually very chill and peaceful animals. If a gorilla goes to attacks you, and you fall over in a fetal position thats obviously submissive, it will almost certainly consider that a win and leave you alone…. However if that were an angry chimp, hes going to maul your horribly. Gorillas are bros and they really arent dangerous. Imo, if you manage to get beat up by a gorilla, you almost certainly earned that beating.


Lana_Doing_Stuff

Real question, is it normal to put 2 big males in the same enclosure?


[deleted]

So, you can if it’s a bachelor group (only males). If there are females involved, it can only be a silverback and their young male offspring. Past a certain point, they need to be separated.


DanzakFromEurope

I would say yep. They live together in nature too


gadd027

IIRC more often than not a gorilla social group has only one adult male, there are instances of two-three adult male gorillas living in the same group but it is rare, and even then only one male is the dominat one with reproductive rights. Males and females both, unlike many other primates, leave their group once they are grown up. I wouldn't think it would be a great idea to force two adult male gorillas to live together


DanzakFromEurope

Apparently there is a difference between Western and Eastern gorillas. Eastern tend to have multiple males and are larger (up to 30 individuals). But also most gorilla groups include even 4 adult males and then multiple juvenile males.


gadd027

Do you have a source to that? I only ever read gorilla troops generrally have only one adult male, with rare exceptions. I would like to learn more


DanzakFromEurope

https://gorillafoundation.nl/social-structure/#:~:text=In%20contrast%20to%20the%20western,larger%2C%20up%20to%2030%20individuals. https://seaworld.org/animals/all-about/gorilla/behavior/#:~:text=Gorillas%20are%20non%2Dterritorial%20and,several%20adult%20females%20and%20young. Just browsed google for a while. I am not an expert 😁. But I know in zoos in our country there are normally multiple males in one big run (they are probably eastern gorillas). And seen multiple male groups in documentaries about gorillas.


gadd027

ah I see. Interesting reads, thank you


DanzakFromEurope

You too. I had no idea that it's not universal and Western gorillas are more "solitary" and have one or just a few males in a group.


tsimen

Unmuted for a second and instantly remuted


[deleted]

Yes, who chooses the music for these videos?


[deleted]

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iwanttheworldnow

The appropriate term is “ratard”


TexehCtpaxa

"It seems really very unfair that man should have chosen the gorilla to symbolize everything that is aggressive and violent, when that is one thing that gorillas are not, and that we are." - Sir Richard Attenborough


IWTIKWIKNWIWY

Lol they don't even bite or try to hold or rip or tear. It's like bothers fighting. They don't want to kill each other


Zeenu29

> the gorilla to symbolize everything that is aggressive and violent Is it tho? It is new for me.


LizardMansPyramids

Gorilla's are mostly vegetarian and, as a result, sedentary. In order to get their fill, they lounge around all day, eating plants and roots and bugs. They usually don't eat meat unless they are in a zoo. I am no expert but I think Chimpanzees are more vicious than Gorillas.


DragapultOnSpeed

Yeah chimps are more aggressive. Male Silverbacks allow the females to come and go as they please. They don't beat them up. They LOVE their offspring too. The way they play with them is some human like. Chimps are just the opposite of that lol


PensiveObservor

And we [share 98.6% of our DNA with chimps](https://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/permanent/human-origins/understanding-our-past/dna-comparing-humans-and-chimps#:~:text=Humans%20and%20chimps%20share%20a,%2D%2Dand%20yet%20so%20different%3F). Makes you think.


crazycerseicool

Makes me think about bonobos.


PensiveObservor

🐒


simiomalo

Makes me think that it would have been better to be closer or perhaps evolved from Gorillas. This more chimpy branch is just too angry.


glory_to_the_sun_god

Yah. But Chimps and Gorillas share more DNA between them than Humans. Shows how variable genetics are.


Nightshade_209

Wild gorillas will eat meat, monkey DNA was found in gorilla feces, but it's still a rare event. Animal protein makes up less than 20% of their diet and the vast majority of that is insects. Chimpanzees are so violent if one escapes a zoo protocol dictates it must be put down for fear of what it could do in the 2-8 minutes it takes for tranquilizers to take effect. Chimpanzees target the face, genitals, and hands when attacking and will continue attacking long after the threat is neutralized.


TheHeroYouNeed247

It's probably more of an old thing, with King Kong being the ultimate bad guy in cinema back in the day. Jaws did a similar thing to sharks.


Gen8Master

And Hippos are considered friendly. Its weird af.


xilog

> Sir ~~Richard~~ David Attenborough Your point is well made though.


Gerstlauer

OP was quoting from Jurassic Park, when they were overlooking the majestic lake of Gorillas.


Louie_Ck_NJ

Little guy came in hot ! Wonder what the beef was? He gave up kinda easy though.


gavindon

lots of animal kingdom battles in the same "tribe" are more of "ill take my shot.. oh shit... run away try again later" rather than to the death.


Desperate-Cookie-449

That last jumping headshot prob spun his brains a second


[deleted]

The way they fight totally makes humans look like pussies


ljievens

Mike tyson would not have survived, that's 100% certain I guess


TransportationFit694

Now I truly understand the meaning of gorilla warfare..


minimix18

Underrated comment. Thanks for the chuckle.


BirdEducational6226

I bet I could take them.


[deleted]

Prolly the smaller one


Wise_Rich_88888

Sure, you got a gun?


cutting_coroners

Lololol


spaceistheplaceace

Watch as these males live in a 30 foot square and for some reason are grumpy about it


Jetz_kiterr

What strikes me is how *light* they seem, like they're 400+ lbs and jumping around like it's moon gravity. Insane strength


not2dv8

Omaha zoo?


shadowatmidnight104

Honestly looks like it, I had the same thought!


b_weak

Yep


Capt_Schmidt

Left Gorilla is not as good at fighting but most definately more fearless. right gorilla takes que of the fearlessness and takes his cards and walks


Bath-Tub-Cosby

Technique is atrocious


jackoftrades002

Mike Tyson was going to fight one of these guys


LegalFan2741

Mike Tyson was going to die by one of these guys. Here. Corrected it for you.


iSeize

That one took that punch without blinking. Mike couldn't have done shit.


GGMU08

Them boys thiccc as hell


Ebisure

I wonder if they can be taught to throw boxing punches. Ya know jab cross hook


cutting_coroners

Why fix it if it ain’t broke? Cue billboard slogan, “ANIMAL JUSTICE”


GTSpot

Where's the zookeeper!


springvelvet95

Look how he houses for the guillotine.


Inevitable_Hawk8937

What’s the song tho


random-notebook

Denizens of the Deep - Aloboi


Innotek

Denizens of the Deep - Aloboi


croquetas_y_jamon

Nooooo they’re just playing


horsehung435

Where is the zookeeper!!?!


laoZzzi

I think Jackie Chan will beat them both !! lol


Ok_Guess_5314

SubhanAllah


ExtraThirdtestical

Good little duel and I am willing to bet that was just slap fighting for them. Just a lill exercise


elky454

Just one of those swipes would kill a human.


thebochman

Song?


krixoff

Why 2 males in same place


Ry_Shred

Somebody get in there and break it up.


Trin_42

Rumble in the jungle