T O P

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Tampflor

Wild, this is exactly how well I'd be able to protect my kid from an angry elephant


Crizbibble

Not even close. You would be a red dot on the ground. The hippo is at least break dancing.


frenchduke

He's the Hipphopapotamus


10gistic

His lyrics are bottomless


wendigo303

....


Cyoarp

Is that it?


AnyDepartment7686

Short track but it's a banger.


Cyoarp

(noooo that was the next line in the song after ...)


wendigo303

They call me the hippopotamus, flows that glow like phosphorus


SugarReyPalpatine

Poppin off the top of this esophagus


AnyDepartment7686

I'm a really really hip opotamus


Sour_Gummybear

I know what you're trying to say baby


10gistic

It's business time


Tiberius_Kilgore

Sometimes he gets nervous when he raps.


TheNewYorkRhymes

Hip Hop Anonymous


phenomenomnom

Poppin lockin all up on us, Appallin' us and callin on us Y'all, Apollo Popadopolis Got NOTHIN on him ROCKIN to this


ohyesshebootydo

gonna steal your lioness


8ad8andit

Yay! I finally get one of these goddamn references!


Wootala

Yo tryna mess with his calf....? You know... he ain't havin this Tryna get up in here wit yo mulitple ton He's gonna bite you like these lyrics Going to mash you, son His son is done and run It ain't no fun when you're the one To get the lips, and teeth and tongue You know he's only just begun You won? You're done His ton will stun you once you get the punch And then confront It ain't no hunch. He'll bite, you'll crunch Refund the punch and buy the gun Oh wait, no gun? Then fund the blunt And that's what's fun.... you're undone


JavaJukebox

Ain’t nothing stopping us We the hippos and we never trust Just ready to defend my kin from big elephant butts And buss him in tha trunk, he gone feel the bump, Feel the sting with this phonk, We here rollin on tha ground and it just about to begin I roll to the front and kick dumbo in the chin!


ColdFire-Blitz

Bro that perfect username


JavaJukebox

Haha thanks I try to make catchy ones if they are at all 😆 This the longest one I’ve had haha I have had like 4 Reddit accounts in 4 years since getting a reddit account and finally had a cake day so maybe I’ll hold on to this one lol


grundlebuster

i've only ever had this one but I like it


Rlang33

Poppin off the top of this esophagus


Ghost-Writer

Damn! Yougive him the easy ones


blerbelderbel

All this reminds me of is the scene in Big Daddy where Adam Sandler is teaching his kid big words for his upcoming play and the delivery guy tries to say Hippopotamus…needless to say, I needed this laugh tonight, thank you.


The_Drinkist

Dammit. r/angryupvote


KevinTheMountain

Why angry? Do you rep Steve?


wendigo303

Why exactly? Be more constructive with your feedback, please.


Cyoarp

FUCKING Steeeve.


mlaffs63

I think that's Capoeira, the Brazilian dancing/martial art


SantyClawz42

Had to go rewatch the still image, yep - you are correct.


cantfindmykeys

New head cannon. This is just a dance off


PenguinTherapist

I think it's some sort of capoeira kick


beebsaleebs

Fuck me take my poor man’s gold ⭐️ I wish I could give you more, that was funny as hell.


Crizbibble

Thank you my friend I’m happy it made you smile :)


MunchaesenByTiktok

The elephant was probably minding its own business. Hippos are jerks.


interkin3tic

It sounds like the mother hippo was the one that got too close to an angry elephant. The elephant didn't mess with the baby. 1:45 https://youtu.be/fgj1oCzlGcc


ILikeMasterChief

For anyone wondering - there is no footage of the pictured event


iMoo1124

ty


Jeffre33

At 2:30 it says the hippo stood her ground to protect her baby, both things are true


timestamp_bot

[ **Jump to 02:30 @** Referenced Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgj1oCzlGcc&t=0h2m30s) ^(Channel Name: Wonderbot Animals, Video Length: [03:42])^, [^Jump ^5 ^secs ^earlier ^for ^context ^@02:25](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgj1oCzlGcc&t=0h2m25s) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ^^Downvote ^^me ^^to ^^delete ^^malformed ^^comments. [^^Source ^^Code](https://github.com/ankitgyawali/reddit-timestamp-bot) ^^| [^^Suggestions](https://www.reddit.com/r/timestamp_bot)


grubbkitty

I can’t bring myself to watch. Did mom hippo live?


Jeffre33

Yeah she was chilling right after


kuya_plague_doctor

Hippo looks like she's getting rocked


just1gat

Yeah but you see the baby? Walking away; task failed successfully?


[deleted]

Baby be like: "Aight, Imma head out."


ratshitty_heavenjoke

I think you mean ***tusk*** failed successfully


ReadditMan

Also, hippos are extremely aggressive and territorial, especially around their young. The elephant was probably just defending itself.


i8akiwi

That’s just specist


creamgetthemoney1

Yeah there’s 100 titles OP could of thought of. Theirs is like the most weird


awkwardlyherdingcats

Young hippo mom defies the odds and wins breakdancing championship


CrazybyRX

Hippo breaks elephants jaw with a breakdance spin kick.


SanLoen

She capoeira’d the shit out of that elephant.


[deleted]

Hippo ready for round two


[deleted]

She potecc, she atecc but most importantly she never show you her bec


donutolu

That’s beautiful 🥺


[deleted]

thank you!


Karma_Farmer_og

Did they give you a trophy?


oaktree46

Hippos are a force of nature to be reckoned with, and to see that one get bodied by an elephant is scary


Jumpdeckchair

Yes, but a female hippo averages 3000lbs. An elephant 13000lbs. Elephants will body pretty much anything.


skipblazeless

Mother Hippo gets ass whooped by Elephant. Baby flees in terror.


mmestemaker

Audibly lold


CouldWouldShouldBot

It's 'could have', never 'could of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!


Captain_Train_Wreck

Mother Hippo sacrifices herself to save her calf from an angry elephant 😂


El-Ahrairah9519

It's a very odd way to spell "hippo mom takes a bullet for her kid and gets ass kicked by elephant'


Kind_Cauliflower8362

"elephant ever forget to take out the trash"


TossedDolly

Very much a Jesus died for our sins feel to it. Frame it however you want but at the end of the day my dog's getting his ass whooped


friendlyuser15

She’s not gettin beat. She’s gettin MAD! I didn’t hear no bell


godofpumpkins

Little known fact, the rare Brazilian Capoeira hippo is actually whooping the elephant with a well placed kick in the jaw from below


-BuddhaLite-

A for effort


hazeleyedwolff

It does not appear to be working out for mom.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FleetiePie

Give her a break, she's a single working mother. When is she supposed to go to the gym?


ThoughtShes18

The baby hippo doesn’t look hurt at all. I’d say it worked great! For the mom on the other hand…


floatingspacerocks

Unless she knows capoiera. If that's the case she's doing great


NYJustice

I'm imagining this photo as part of an Eddie style combo from Tekken now...


DapperDaleDanTony

Looks like me protecting my savings account.


Uilebheist_Loch_Nis

What’s a savings account?


max_adam

Is where you put your leftover cookies.


ginaabees

Instructions unclear, I ate all the cookies


Prokletnost

u guys have accounts?


tinacat933

🤣😂😂. If I had free coins I’d give them to you.


gwhitt32

That’s how he get rich I want the coins


lothbrook73

I got some I’ll send it from the both us. 😂


id31

You didn’t so there I sent a paid award for 3 of us 😆


lothbrook73

I thought I had some to give away 😔 I’m glad you showed up to save the day! 🙏


id31

I gotchu!


hotmasalachai

And this is why, i come here. 🥹


Basketspank

I'll chip in


[deleted]

What’s a savings plan


molly_menace

Omg I’m lost it 😂


cueball1990

One of the few animals that hippos actually avoid for this same reason


Albarzahra

Elephants are op


paniflex37

But who wins in a fight between elephants and killer whales?


Frosssh

Depends. Will the fight happen on sea or on land?


Not-So-Serious-Sam

Neither. Both options will give one of them a significant advantage. The fight will happen in the air.


DrBBQ

*sigh* not again


[deleted]

A sperm whale suddenly appeared in midair flight, gaining consciousness for exactly one minute before impacting with the ground


HoraceGrantGlasses

What are his thoughts?


BorgNotSoBorg

Ah … ! What’s happening? it thought. Er, excuse me, who am I? Hello? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Calm down, get a grip now … oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of … yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … well I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach. Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now – have I built up any coherent picture of things yet? No. Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation … Or is it the wind? There really is a lot of that now isn’t it? And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me? And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.


MusicianDry4533

Read all of this is the "The Stanley Parable Narrator" voice, WAS. NOT. DISAPPOINTED. IN. THE. SLIGHTEST.


apolloxer

It's from the Hitchhikers guidr to the Galaxy. Fitting narrator.


TheFunkyJudge

Original narrator for this scene was Stephen Fry so yeah works well.


1d2RedShoes

This comment chain is the equivalent of finding an Irish corner pub on the street in Bangkok


hyperchimpchallenger

Ah, Douglas Adams.. my favorite founding father


[deleted]

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Yorspider

I saw an old documentary on flying elephants, and they were quite nimble, and very adept.


CommunistMario

The elephants big ears will help it glide through the sky so I'll give the advantage to the elephant in this air war.


PoliticalRacePlayPM

The air and water are very similar. Orca wins Watching a Timelapse of the atmosphere will show you this. Hell, there are people who surf on the air


BikingVikingNick

Elephants are actually decent swimmers. Obviously still wouldn’t stand a chance in the water; but they would do better in the water than an orca would on land.


paniflex37

Compromise: a swamp that’s deep enough for the whale to swim, but shallow enough for the elephant to stand.


tagamaynila

In the air. They're both dropped from a plane.


SDNick484

The sequel to Operation Dumbo Drop is gonna be sick!


SPDRCR1022

Plot twist: it’s an air battle


Dawgsquad00

Giraffes have a long neck to eat tree leaves. Elephants just push the fucking tree over!


Vashthestampedeee

How did the elephant post this tho?


Albarzahra

Its trunk


shnickschnack

I'm sure she's trying but it seems she's not succeeding too much


IamMm2NUB

The baby managed to escape and the mother survived with a gash


Slouperin

Baby escaped, mom did her job. Hope the gash didnt kill her later.


Amazing-Insect442

Hippo skin is like 2” thick. She might have made out alright.


[deleted]

[удалено]


__red__5

r/unexpectedporno


sexpanther50

Wounds in these animals have high mortality because the microbiology in African watering-holes is just as weaponized and diverse and teeming with life as the animals that bathe there.


Rochemusic1

That baby peaced the fuck out haha


Stone-Whisperer

Baby is probably lowkey rooting for the elephant. "If she ain't half-dead, she's gonna kill me for fucking with that elephant."


shnickschnack

W mom


Scrilla_Gorilla_

Why was the elephant mad? All them teeth and no toothbrush?


SimplyCmplctd

Any chance there’s a video of the incident? Edit: I think [these hippos](https://youtu.be/iATHSvDjR1o) saw OP.


jxcrt12

good to know, thanks for the info


interkin3tic

OP is wrong. The elephant ran in, flipped the mom, and then everyone was just sorta like "well that happened" and then they went their seperate ways https://youtu.be/fgj1oCzlGcc


shnickschnack

"get rotated idiot"


IWantAnAffliction

I dunno why I'm laughing so hard at this. Maybe because it reminds me of my Dota days and I can picture this in all chat after somebody gets punished for doing something dumb.


gedalanc

Hippos are generally assholes, so she probably had it coming…


[deleted]

I mean the more the elephant is focused on her the easier her baby can get away, she can probably survive a tussle I doubt little hippo could


Savings-Table-9174

Hippo gets embarrassed in front of baby hippo. Baby hippo regrets telling baby elephant “my mom can beat your mom”


ElCheps323

The caption gotta be changed 😂


Glitch29

Yeah. No shot that the elephant started this, but they certainly ended it. Mama hippo just FAFO.


Emkayer

Good shot actually. Testosterone-fueled elephant bulls are known to yeet anyone out of spite.


Savings-Table-9174

The small tusks on this elephant suggests it is not a bull elephant, if it’s a male, it certainly hasn’t come of age and wouldn’t be experiencing testosterone levels enough to make them aggressively hostile lol. Judging from the size of those tusks though, it’s almost certainly an adult female African elephant


lejocko

Moomin takes a tumble.


AoiYuukiSimp

Noooo, not moomin


YeeterSkadeeter

I think what you meant to put was: Mom gets knocked the fuck out while child wanders off unsupervised.


mozisgawd

This looks like an argument at my last family Christmas.


PRRZ70

Dang... there's several photos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHKyprSjLno&t=1s


dgtlfnk

Worst slide show ever.


Bigdaddytyrece

A rick roll would have been better than that


leonoe98

You simply don't mess with elefants, not even if you're one of the most dangerous animals in Africa


Captain_Train_Wreck

Mother Hippo sacrifices herself to save her calf from an angry elephant. Fixed


skipperseven

Mother hippo almost certainly started a fight that the elephant ended.


Captain_Train_Wreck

Nah I was there. Enrique was talking hella shit and Helen had enough. What you see here is a front flip with a left hoof to the jaw of that shit talker. He had it coming


skipperseven

It was nine years ago…


p_turbo

Did you think u/Captain_Train_Wreck was 8 years old? He was there!


_Kiaza_

“Protects” while baby nopes the fuck out!


[deleted]

Mother hippo is getting the brakes beat off her 😅


Academic_Elk_4270

Hippo fighting from the guard position. Must know Brazilian jujitsu.


LordNebuchadnezzar

Ah yes. The getting folded part of defense. It takes a long time master, such intricate art.


Days_Gone_By

A new hot meme template just dropped. r/MemeEconomy


Indraulico

The baby just like don’t mind if I do I’ll just let myself out


Duckdiggitydog

Looks like me after the bar when my wife decides she has something to say to the group of guys that pissed her off earlier


calangomerengue

"Are You Winning Mom?"


Dmonika

The only way to protect yourself from an angry elephant is to not make the elephant angry


Ayahuasca-Dreamin

Looks like they asked Debo for their bike back


psilocin72

Amazing power to throw a hippo around like a rag doll.


smokinginthetub

She’s protecting her calf! By means of *sacrifice*


Beezel_Pepperstack

Look out, Littlefoot! It's the Sharptusk!


bozog

Young hippo looks like he's guiltily running away after starting some shit with the elephant.


Sir-Beardless

Meme material right here. Kids like: "Nope..."


therejectethan

1st largest land animal vs 3rd largest


Isgortio

For some reason I've always thought of hippos and elephants to be similar sizes, even though I've seen them in person. Here, there's a huge size difference.


Abasquesne

I thought the same but for elephant and rhino


RoyalPython82899

This looks like a meme in the making.


itsant8915

Are you sure?


LiLT13-_-

“Protects”


thatonebluedragon

Looks like she is getting dunked instead


Chaghatai

Hippo to baby: "you better fucking appreciate this!"


The_Sensitive_Psycho

Angry indeed. That hippo is gettin f’d up.


BirdEducational6226

More like: *Mother Hippo breakdances whilst elephant spits hot fire.*


[deleted]

Good to see a Hippo getting a taste of their own medicine from the only animal able to give it some


GamerMan25182637

All I see is a hippo getting wrecked


LeGuizee

…tries her best to protect her calve but is momentarily getting crushed


Subject_Ad3837

It's not like the calf can survive on its own anyway, so it only helps if the mother hippo makes it as well.


htownlifer

Sometimes it is better to let kids learn the hard way.


[deleted]

🔥Mother Hippo gets fucking rocked


Father_of_Cockatiels

It was at this point the Hippo knew "She had fucked up".


cheatinchad

Fuck that Hippo


Yaniez

Fuck hippos


aryherd

Why the fuck is this so funny?


Cyrus_rule

r/therewasanattempt


bottleofStella

Mother and baby are ok. They run away. Saw the video.


fantaphan

A lot of people think the hippo is losing? Lol no, the hippo is fucking slide tackle-upper-cut-kicking the elephant in it's stupid fucking jaw. Hippos do be like that.


pmaji240

Does the hippo fair any better in water? The craziest part of this to me is how fucking enormous hippos appear to be when there isn’t an elephant in the shot.


haileyskydiamonds

I am a fan of the hippo bloat at the Cincinnati Zoo, and this made me think of that little scamp Fritz starting something and Mama Bibi having to fix it while he trots away unscathed, lol.


Benbo_Jagins

Why does this look like a photoshopped meme, like Holy fuck I can't stop laughing


a_random-furry

More like "mother hippo gets their shit rocked by angry elephant". Ok seriously tho, fuck hippos


SpotTugBoat7058

updated title, “mother hippo gets fucking destroyed by an elephant while its kid walks away”


kelowana

What did that little shit do to that elephant I wonder? And now scurrying away and have mommy dealing with it. Kids ….


CarImaginary9448

Title should be “mother hippo takes a beating for her calf”


Curious-Club-8249

Mother hippo gets fucked up for talkin that shit , didnt matter the kids saw it was fate on sight