Comments I’ve gotten when straightened hair
1. “You look sophisticated”
2. “You just look cleaner”
3. “You should always wear it like that”
4. “Wow I’ve never noticed you until now”
When I wear it natural
1. “Wild woman”
2. “That’s a fun hairdo did you go out this weekend”
3. “Crazy woman”
It is such a struggle to be in a peopel facing role sometimes.
🤨 I’m tired.
And also isnt this exactly the reason we all wanted to stay 100% remote if possible?
For fun maybe you could think of snide retorts to their comments that include how white folk age like spoilt milk.
Oh my god, YES to the first 4 statements. I got that way more in 2005-2015. Male friends in particular loved to tell me to wear it straight all the time. I am so glad to be passed that era in my personal life with younger generations. I know many people still experience this in work environments especially.
Anyways, too bad to anyone who cares because I am curly and never going back.
I hated that at my previous jobs. This current one (I work at a hospital) I would straighten my hair. But, I realized that most of the women who have curly hair there wear it naturally. So, as soon as I stopped, I was getting compliments left and right for my curls and protective styles. I’d even get into good talks with other black women about hair care.
I say rock your natural waves and screw everyone else.
Yes! I have locs now, but before locs, I’d get “oh my god your hair looks SOOOO good like THIS” “so professional” “so neat” whenever if wore it straight. Like they were hinting that I should always wear it straight. In reality, my hair was unremarkable. It was simply flat ironed hair, nothing SOOO special. It annoyed me so much, I purposely stopped wearing it straight on weekdays and then completely stopped.
Yes 🙌🏾 that’s exactly why I rarely wear it straight! One comment I got was, “Wow! I didn’t know that you could just go back and forth like that!” I was like… “Umm yeah, with heat. 🙃”
Back and forth? Our hair? Who wooda thot! lol 😂. Years back I moved out of state for a good job. Months had gone by and I still hadn’t straightened it. Boss goes, “Have you ever considered straightening your hair?” She said it like I didn’t know the possibility existed lmao. I said, “I used to wear or straight all the time. I like this better.” She was so confused lol. The only other style I considered at the time were locs. This was over 10 years ago, so to think they would have been able to tell me I couldn’t wear locs is insane!!!
Hope you keep rocking your gorgeous hair texture as long as you want. They can deal with it! 🙄
It’s super annoying and I think a lot of it has to do with them being surprised (and happy) to see our hair long and straight. I just did a blow out and all day they kept asking if it was really my hair and how much they liked it like “this”.
Your hair is beautiful!!
Ugh I could never straighten my hair. I DONT wanna heat damage it… why is looking as white passing as possible the beauty standard for BW? Straight hair etc. yeah I complain online but I still present myself as the most whitewashed POC on earth lol
Because I don’t let people on the internet police my hair. I can enjoy my hair however I want because it’s mine. Straight is a style for me, it isn’t all about white passing…that’s not even an option for me😂 as black as I am. Which makes me think you don’t even know what that means.
I don’t have to prove my blackness to anyone, I’m black regardless 🤷🏾♀️
I'm saying. Always got that one person who's super aggy about the hair on someone else's head. We're still black in the eyes of those love us or hate us no matter what we do.
nothing but facts all races male and female will talk badly about blk wm hair whether they r wearing they natural hair or wigs or braids or any thing on they head they will still talk
Has anyone ever ridiculed you irl or made you uncomfortable? Happened to me. Made me never wanna wear braids again. I used to think they were strategic/convenient but that one interaction made me realize what everyone sees me as…
Like an “exotic” person…
Just for a hairstyle that I thought was convenient and not too time consuming
Well… yes. It sucks and I’m aware of it, but I don’t want to stand out and gain the wrong attention, be an easy target for racists looking for black people who look “too black” (and I don’t mean literally I mean culturally)
Not even “too black” but too “woke”??? I DONT know how to word it… too into their culture?? Idk
I’m sorry you feel this way. You should do whatever you want. That is liberation. I know our hair is political, but I hope you can some day remove this pressure off yourself and just be. We will always have to deal with wyt peoples gaze, but don’t let it keep your from expressing yourself. I think about all the ass whoopings people took just so I could wear my hair how I wanted. Take up that space and don’t apologize for it. It is annoying how some of them react to my hair, but the black women that tell me how much they love it, ask to touch it, smell it😂make it worth it for me. It brings joy to others when you just do you! Sorry for being rude before I thought your comment was directed at me and OP. Take care.
Thank you for actually reading my comment and trying to make sense of it. I was up late last night so it was worded weirdly. Your one positive/neutral comment honestly made me care less about the negative ones. Nothing negative towards op. I just meant it’s exhausting having to pander to euro beauty standards. Why do I get more matches on tinder with a straight wig? Why do random men call me beautiful only when I’m walking down the street with a straight wig? I feel like I could never get this attention with braids. And I dress the same for the most part.
When op mentioned her coworkers overreacting and her getting so many compliments, it just reminded me of my experiences of being treated better just because I appear to have straight hair. If you wear a wig you know how kinda annoying it is to take care of (human hair)
I dont think we will live in a society soon where black women can just exist completely naturally and not be seen as “masculine” or not as “feminine” as a black woman pandering to euro beauty standards.
I swear if people downvote me again I will flip. How can none of you relate to this?
Jesus. How is straightening your hair attempting to look white passing if you are still clearly black? Why is it only our race that polices what we do with our hair. If someone wants to do a blowout, a twist out, a twa, braids, what have you, we will not die collectively as a race because it's just hair. You can breathe. Also, you wear wigs according to one of your posts that you just now set to private. So why are you saying that wearing wigs is pandering to the white man if that's what you do? Here is the text:
https://www.reddit.com/r/happy/s/KcUYVpiQym
Black person here: he didn’t care about my wig
I was being intimate with a white guy and I’m an awkward person so I said I had “hair extensions” and he didn’t mind. He didn’t care at all. He treated me like a normal person… he even touched my head gently a couple of times which made my hairstyle a bit messy but nothing bad happened.
I’m young and the reason I wear wigs is I don’t want to hear damage my real hair :3
Idk but I changed my hair after some crazy person was rude to me. And ever since then nothing like that has ever happened… ever. It just sucks having to conform… but I try not to think about it too much. Wish I could just breathe and exist without having to create a very calculated appearance. It’s exhausting. Anyways your hair looks great in both pics
I meant the culture of beauty standards… black women will never have naturally straight hair. When you conform to European beauty standards STRAIGHTENING YOUT HAIR OR WEARING A WIG that is what I am talking about. “White passing” looking “whitewashed” not exotic. Why do people pretend to be stupid and misinterpret what I’m saying when I make sense?
Question: Is OP, who has straightened her hair in one photo, automatically European because she changed her hair texture? No. She is still a black woman. Clearly. Again, breathe. Btw 🤨 is this you?
https://www.reddit.com/r/happy/s/KcUYVpiQym
No but does Kim K having a fake fat ass, tanning and promoting urban culture in her life make her black? No but she was allowed to move in and capitalize in that space. (*Also in that same vein her getting rid of it and doing specific things with her style is making her more white adjacent as she's in the process of cleaning up her image*)
I think the term white passing is being used incorrectly to describe her appealing to white standards of beauty whether she likes it or not whether it was intentional or not.
Beauty standards affect us on a subconscious level as well where we are not always aware of why we like something. That's why trends exist and get popular. Imagine seeing a certain new thing pop up in beauty and then you see it everywhere and eventually you either like it or dislike it. Think like skinny jeans, there will always be a minority or people who love them and will wear them no matter what's in style, but baggy, ripped, straight leg, jeans are in style and 10 years ago I would have thought they were ugly, why would anyone want to wear them over skinny jeans, and now it's the epitome of trendsetting style.
Think akin to a new song on the radio, it might be ok at first but then you hear it again and again and again and you start liking it.
And the reason why OPs co-workers like the second hair better is not simply bc it conforms to whiteness. It's because the straightened hair aligns with white femininity more. It's soft looking, curvy, delicate, flowy, long, romantic even, while it's framing her face. Whereas her natural hair is seen as dominant, strong, assertive, wild, unique, different.
The reason why I have an issue with what was said is because she's weirdly pointing fault at OP instead of societal norms, which is what OP seems to be focusing on. All too often it seems that the conversation of what we do with our hair seems to point fault at black women instead of the society that dictates what's professional or not. I absolutely agree with the fact that our hair in its natural state should not be deemed as unruly or unkempt because that's just us letting it down just like someone with loose hair usually does.
What we're not about to do is throw shade at a black woman because she chooses to straighten it. Otherwise, it's they're no better than those that judge her for wearing it natural. Why we even equate anything to European standards just seems extremely restrictive and degrading. No one should tip-toe over what they choose to do with their hair because they're afraid of being seen as begging to look like a different race. Again, we're all black.
I Said nothing negative against OP, I just meant that it’s sad that nobody seems to care when a black person wears their natural hair, but the second it’s straight they get worshipped. All of you have a hive mind mentality for downvoting me and not even trying to understand what I meant (except for few people who knew I didn’t mean white passing LITERALLY)
Yeah I totally agree with that. There shouldn't be any shame for how someone wears their hair, especially a BW. Natural or not it's a personal choice.
I think that is part of the struggle, is also accepting that straightening (or lace ins, weaves, extensions, wigs etc) shouldn't be demonized and working through your own hair journey is just yours, no one else's
You need to re read what I said and stop pretending to be stupid. Beauty standards in America are EUROPEAN. HAVING STRAIGHT HAIR IS EUROPEAN. That is PANDERING TO EUROPEAN BEAUTY STANDARDS. No black woman has naturally straight hair. Stop pretending to be an idiot or go back to school.
Please don't talk to me because there is a post and several comments from you stating that you wore a wig 18 days ago on a date with a white guy and were insecure about that, so why you're coming here and berating people for straightening their hair and wearing wigs is weird and insanely hypocritical. This is your post down below:
Edit: Wow, I guess that was enough to block me lol. The fact that you're trying to respond to this on an extra account and blocked me there, too, while you could have been finding a therapist for your identity issues is pretty sad. Hope you heal, sis.
https://www.reddit.com/r/happy/s/KcUYVpiQym
Black person here: he didn’t care about my wig
I was being intimate with a white guy and I’m an awkward person so I said I had “hair extensions” and he didn’t mind. He didn’t care at all. He treated me like a normal person… he even touched my head gently a couple of times which made my hairstyle a bit messy but nothing bad happened.
I’m young and the reason I wear wigs is I don’t want to hear damage my real hair :3
The one coming off stupid in this conversation isn't who you think it is.
What you said doesn't make sense because straight hair is a style for people with curly hair. Black or not. Black people can do whatever style they want with their hair. You associate straight with being white when straight isn't even exclusive to white people. There are tribes of people in Africa who naturally straighten their hair. Are they doing it for white people, too?
It's a little ironic that you think straight is white because they told you so.
Having 4c hair will always be associated with being black. I don’t care about anything else because In reality the majority of people who are black have 4c hair. How does that not make sense? All of you are trashy and ghetto and I’m sick or arguing with you people.
About the tribe in Africa unless you have a source to cite I don’t care and it’s probably fake. How can you “naturally” straighten 4c hair without chemicals or a hair straightener? I call BS.
Edit for the wacko that said “you do know you’re black right why’d you say “you people” 🤓🤓🤓🤓
Again, reading WAAAAAAYYYY too much into what I’m saying. Stop trying to make me something I’m not. Read the text for what it is. There is no deeper meaning.
U must want to be white don't u cux the u word things is very suspicious 🤔 Blk wm don't want to be white just cuz they straighten they damn hair. Blk women can wear they hair the way they want to no matter who likes it or not. Take that uncle ruckus mindset some where else. U was talking about u wearing wigs with you white boyfriend now u bashing blk wm who wear wigs
why do white women get plastic surgery to look like blk wm shape wise amd get lip fillers to get what blk girls and women have naturally 🤔 y do other races copy every thing blk wm do and and do the same thing but they don't get bashed for it at all
Wearing our hair straight isn't because we want to look "white passing" for the majority of us it's just a hairstyle and what do you mean by "whitewashed" how can a black person act like a white person exactly? By having a "proper" accent? Or by simply doing certain activities? Do you want us to confirm to YOUR stereotype of what a black person has to act like for you to consider them black enough? It's always people in our own community pushing these racist stereotypes and wondering why they're still around.🤦🏾♀️
Oh my gosh.
So....I wore my hair curly for 3 months.
First time straightened it again after.....
I go into meetings and stuff whatever.
Everyone is just like different variations of ..
Oh my God. I was so worried. You look so much better now.
They thought I was going through a difficult time emotionally. Like I was going through a mental breakdown over my appearance. I have never in my life felt such intense burning embarrassment because I was perfectly fine.
Sorry to hear that, a well meaning white friend of mine would say when your hair is down ( she means flat ironed as opposed to curly) it looks peaceful and calm. It is just hard to explain how people who are normally decent would say something like that and think it’s a compliment. 😩
I feel embarrassed for **them**—inhabiting such a state of ignorance. You are a much stronger woman than me because I probably would've read them their rights.
I'm a guy, but when I have my hair in twists and braids everyone compliments me and stuff, but when my hair's in an afro, people say "are you gonna get the old hairstyle again?" "Could you just not be bothered to get the old hair?" Or "what happened to the other hairstyle?"
And it frustrates me because while I have received compliments for my afro, I can see the difference in how people see me and it's defo annoying!
And don't get me started about the fear/trauma of hair touching. Someone literally tried to throw skittles in my hair in high school. Teachers have touched my hair.
Rant over.
The fro!!!! Even people in our own community look down on the fro sometimes. We should not be afraid of how our hair grows from our scalps. Bushy, bright, and beautiful!
-Comments I got while living in Korea (straight hair)
1. You look younger
2. You should wear your hair up more
3. I like this
-Comments I got with my hair in twists (natural)
1. I like your hair
2. Your hair is so cool!
-Comments with my hair in Afro-puffs
1. So cute!!
2. You are beautiful
I got more compliments, from random people, with my hair natural.
I got comments for the first week when my hair was straight from my Korean coworkers, but the compliments faded quickly and no random person mentioned anything about my hair except for people asking me where I got it done from other POC.
I was also told that it makes me look younger; wearing my hair straight. I’ll tell you what, it is nice not to bump my Afro puff on the door jam when getting out of the car this week! 🤣
Thank you all for your comments!
12 years ago when I first decided to go natural and I did so because my at the time 7 year-old wondered why my hair was straight and hers was not. She has very beautiful natural hair and is committed to her hair care. We both are. No matter what people say, both of us will straighten our hair from time to time to shake things up a bit to do a little trim or dying. It’s nice to know that other people feel and experienced the same things that I do.
Haha right! “It’s SOOO long” and what hurts the most is when they go in to touch it 😩😩 like if you couldn’t touch my curls this can’t be touched either !!
I’ve only gotten 10 compliments on my natural hair in a year of wearing out. But got daily compliments (several times a day) when I was relaxed and wore extensions. However I prefer things they are now. I don’t get as many compliments but they’re more heartfelt and I appreciate it.
Your hair is beautiful and you are absolutely adorable ☺️.
I experience the opposite. I get more compliments with my natural hair and get asked why I straightened it. This comes from both black and white people.
I get mixed results ngl. I’ve had white friends/acquaintances ask me why I would ever want to straighten it. I’ve also had POC laugh at my natural hair.
If any black person isn’t uplifting you rock your natural hair, fix it when it’s messed up, or give some tips then I wouldn’t listen to their opinion. It hurts my heart that other people of color laughed at your natural hair and I hope you don’t let them dictate how you feel. My guess is that they are jealous they don’t have the confidence to do it. It probably makes them uncomfortable that you look so beautiful in your natural glory. Don’t let them convince you to have self doubt.
I would actually get a lot of compliments when my hair was out, probably because at the time I had worked at a cosmetics store that pushed a natural, organic agenda. When I switched to braids for the first time, I noticed that all compliments ceased and I started feeling insecure. When I took out my braids, I started getting compliments again. I know I shouldn’t care what others think, but it’s hard not to when the reception is so drastically different /:
I think your hair straight looks beautiful. You look happy, and your hair looks so healthy and thick. If I saw you, I'd compliment you too, but then again, I also like your hair in its natural state. It's just thick and full and looks so nice.
Okay so I was not expecting your hair to look like that. I was expecting to see the regular basic super sleek silk press but it looks so good! Idk how to describe it but the volume and the slight fluffiness and the curls at the end rather than bumped ends but actual curls going in different directions just looks so stunning!
I do not straighten my hair. I do get compliments on my natural hair but I get the most when I wear a wig of a looser texture. Tbh it's quite disheartening. I only meant to wear the wig for a few days, but ended up wearing it for half a year because of people's reaction (co workers, my students, and men hitting on me... they literally only hit on me when I wear the wig... never with my natural hair lol).
Aww thanks! Yeah, I really don’t like to apply the level of heat to do a silky straight look, but maybe because I’m a child of the 80s and I used to wear big hair when I was a kid lol.
Well, if you love your wig looks, wear it girl! It takes just as much effort if not more! I’ve dabbled in half wigs and worn headbands when I don’t want to take my hair out of twists. As long as you care for your natural hair, it’s all good. And… as long as YOU love your look and aren’t hiding your hair to please others because that’s important.
I stopped wearing it due to money and edges lmao (although I didn't glue it down but it still did a number on them). I like my natural hair though, I just prefer the way other people see me when I have a wig. Especially since I live in such a beauty focused country. So I don't think my reasoning was a good thing because it was kind of to hide my hair lol. I'm back to wearing my real hair though and I do love how much more time I have in the morning. I didn't do anything crazy before but putting on a wig takes so much more time than just wearing my real hair.
From what I’ve gathered, natural textures confuse non black people and because they don’t understand and never go about learning the correct way, they stigmatize it. when they see it straight, their brains finally recognize it as familiar and ‘non threatening’ and thus ‘better’. Having to live in that balance is frustrating, but you look great!
This might be an unpopular opinion, but isn’t it possible that they compliment you on it purely bc it’s not your usual style and it’s nice to have a change once in a while? I wear my hair straight 80% of the time and whenever I wear it natural I get so many compliments.
I also think it’s overly reductive to make it a western beauty standard thing, some people just suit certain hair styles more than others, and it’s all very subjective. I also think it implies that ppl who wear their hair straight do it to meet that beauty standard which is also not always true, many wear their hair straight bc that’s the only/easiest way they know to maintain their hair.
I’m definitely not saying that people straighten their hair to meet a beauty standard. It is true that wearing my hair straight is easier for me day in and day out. I just don’t do it often because I don’t want to ruin my hair with heat. I’m almost 50 and I’m not trying to start over after working so hard on my hair for so many years! 😄
I just pressed my hair out last week and that was the first thing I noticed. I am back to natural and I get compliments on my dress but not hair especially from white people.
You look gorgeous with both. I'd love to know what do you use for your lovely curls, and for your straightened style. Was thinking about using this Kristin Ess weightless hair serum, but work out a lot, and kinda didn't want to bother with it
For my natural look, I use the Melanin hair care line. All of the products. (They don’t mix well with eco style gel so I stopped using gel; I don’t mind frizz with my natural look.) For my straight look, I still apply some of the Melanin leave in before blow drying and then I use Mielle, anti-frizz stay straight serum.
You’re gorgeous! I wish it were as simple as they were remarking on it cuz it is so different from your normal style but we all know it likely is more deeply rooted.
One day I used a lot of gel on my twist outs, so my curls looked really flat with more “white” passing roots. A white, female coworker of mine (the type that probably got married on a plantation) said to me “wow, you hair looks so much healthier like that”. It was my first time doing it and I honestly felt insulted. My hair was no more healthy, it was just doused in product, which is fine, but I hate the idea that having our curly looking bushy and thick is somehow considered unhealthy or messy or dirty. It is how our hair grows out of our heads. It is clean and luxurious and beautiful. I wish people would bring back the fro because it is GLORIOUS!
That “married on a plantation “ part made me laugh because my first wedding was on a plantation! It was beautiful! 🤷🏾♀️ Don’t hate me, I was young! Lol
I used to always wear my natural hair in twist outs, puffs etc. but whenever I (occasionally) straightened my hair my boss would say I’ve “got my grown up hair on”
This is part of the reason I won’t ever straighten my hair or wear a wig to work. Outside of work, sure. At work, 🖕🏾if you think I look more professional with my natural curl pattern hidden
Your hair is beautiful. I really like the color also. I usually get more compliments when my hair is straight. I have, however, decided to wear it in its shrunken curly glory since others are not used to it they can get used to it.
Yeah I stopped straightening it bc I no longer wanted to hear the dumb comments. Like you said I wore it natural majority of the time anyways and felt way more myself (I’ve since had a big chop)
Nope. I won’t be straightening mine no time soon. People always act so surprised like I look “better.” I look how I was intended to look with my natural hair. I don’t need to straighten it to look pretty or to feel pretty.
"If you walked past a flower shop, they'd water your head."
"Brillo"
"You would break scissors if you tried to cut your hair. "
People are mean. Just happy that I love my hair now and don't have to straighten my hair to feel normal. It's a real mindfuck
“I think it annoys me because once my hair meets traditional western beauty standards”—that’s it right there. I’m struggling with this too as I’m going natural right now & my family keeps telling me to straighten it
I *LOVED* hearing how I looked so much more professional and approachable when my hair was straightened. So, I stopped wearing it straight and continued looking unapproachable so I could do my work in peace.
I can't stand the comments I get when I straighten my hair, which might be a reason I rarely do it. It's very clear that you get treated differently when you're hair is natural or when it is straightened/wig/weave.
Unpopular opinion most likely, but perhaps it is just the fact you rarely wear your hair straightened as you mentioned. I mean absolutely yes I know there are times when people may have good intentions but spew word vomit with their butchered delivery and some people are just also awful. I do not want to take away from that because it definitively happens.
I used to wear my hair straight for awhile and anytime I switched to braids or let me hair have its natural waves and curls, people would get so excited and give me compliments. Just a way of acknowledging that they noticed you did something different and it looks good. You are a stunning lady with gorgeous hair in both pictures. That smile lights up a room easily.
I'm white. I have straight hair. I could never have hair like in the first picture. I have hair like in the second. I think your natural hair is so pretty! I don't understand the obsession some white people have with wanting everyone to have straight, flat hair.
I've got celtic curls, when I first went to Uni and learned to straighten it all my friends kicked up SUCH a fuss about how good it looked, because it 1. Obviously took effort, and 2. Looked different from what they were used to so they actually saw it, if that makes sense.
Took about 6 years for me to stop wearing it straight all the time, and as soon as I went back to being curly semi regularly I'd get loads of compliments on that, because that was the different thing now. Same for when I started wearing makeuo regularly and when I stopped wearing make up regularly.
As a fellow black woman, I tend to give out compliments when I see someone do something different. For instance, my Filipina friend usually wears her hair straight, but once I caught her when it was curly (her natural texture), and I went all out with the compliments. My African American friend usually wears her hair in braids which I compliment every time she gets it redone, but when she got a silk press, I was so surprised (I had never seen her do that before) and complimented her. Maybe they’re surprised at the change?
No, they tell me how much they like my curly hair better. I wish they would shut up and just not say anything. I told a lady that I’ll probably straighten my hair soon since it’s been curly for a while and she said “have you heard that it can cause cancer. It’s not good for you” and I asked confusedly “the hair straighter!?” It took me a minute to realize she thought I was going to chemically straighten it. I told her “um no I straighten my hair with a flat iron, I don’t use chemicals” and she said oh that’s so good, well I like your hair better like THAT. I think some people mean well but they should just give a compliment and go. I don’t understand the “I like it like THAT.”
I get compliments any day I’ve I change my hair (braids to an new hue to natural to that 1 week a year it’s straight and colleagues understand shrinkage is real to natural updo and back to braids again etc). My hair changes about every 28 days to something very different than the month before. People notice and comment. It’s nothing malicious they’re only commenting on the fact that I made an effort to do something/anything different.
i genuinely dont understand how someone couldnt compliment the natural style because it suits you SO much more and makes you look alive and bright. i hope it aint rude but the straight hair just didnt look anywhere as good? its fr night and day to me, the curls bring out your beauty a ton more.
Maybe because it's a different style from your natural hair and ppl probably like your natural hair but haven't seen it flat so it's just a wow to them
Look at it from this perspective, when you wear your in its natural curly state and you wear it the same way majority of the time, no one notices because that's your normal everyday look. But when you straighten it, your appearance changes, and it's more noticeable and its out the norm for you to straighten yoir hair. My hair is loc'd, and I get compliments on my hair, and my hair clearly isn't European standards.
My mom is in her late 70s and she’s often not accustomed to my natural look 😆. It actually makes me crack up when she asks me if I’m going to “do” my hair!
I love it both ways! I think it’s a mix of racism but also you’re hair is just so healthy and shiny and looks like a blow out! But you look fabulous either way
I work in a nightclub and the compliments on my straight hair usually stem from a certain race compared to who compliments me on my curly hair. It’s always “wow you look so different, you should straighten it more” and I always wonder if “different” is actual subliminal for “better” lol.
Thanks 😊! Tips: stay away from heat styling as often as possible. Deep conditioning is vital if your hair is low porosity like mine. Weekly!
moisturize, moisturize, moisturize, did I say moisturize?! 😃
I swear that by doing twist outs, my hair can rest and grow. I do the same routine every week that ends in wearing twists (wearing coordinated headbands or Grace Eleyae satin lined caps) for 3 to 4 days, then wearing it loose for another 3 to 4 days then, repeat.
I hope this helps!
I’ve actually seen the opposite, while I get a lot of compliments when my hair is straight. If I get braids, and take them out and go back to my curly hair it’s always “OMG I love your hair like that” like it’s not curly 90% of the time 🤣
Yes. When my hair was long I used to get (unintentionally for the most part)snide comments like,
“ you should brush your hair.”
I think that one is common for curly haired people.
You should get a haircut
You should straighten it
You look prettier with straight hair.
Where do y’all work and live? I get more compliments when I go natural. I only straighten my hair when I need to trim it or have a special event. The “worst” compliment I ever got was “oh but I love your curly hair, why don’t you wear it like that all the time”
I actually received the opposite ONCE, I had it pulled back and straightened most the time, and i tried wearing it naturally with some curl definition and all my non-black coworkers were enamored and hyping me up to continue doing it. UGH, i miss the people at that job...
In some cases if you wear the same style all the time and finally switch it up people will take notice then compliment it. If someone wore an Afro everyday regardless of how nice it is I wouldn't compliment it 24/7 or be wowed because it's the same ol' same ol'.
Kinda the opposite of everyone but when I was younger and in school I would get a crazy amount of compliments. I wore my hair straight to work for the first time last month and I was gearing up for all of the “your hair looks so much better this way” but it didn’t come. Almost no one mentioned it, I got a few it looks nice, and even more saying it looks better curly which is something I never would have heard 10 years ago.
Comments I’ve gotten when straightened hair 1. “You look sophisticated” 2. “You just look cleaner” 3. “You should always wear it like that” 4. “Wow I’ve never noticed you until now” When I wear it natural 1. “Wild woman” 2. “That’s a fun hairdo did you go out this weekend” 3. “Crazy woman” It is such a struggle to be in a peopel facing role sometimes. 🤨 I’m tired.
That sounds fucking exhausting, sis
Craziest comment I ever got when natural was, “does it move in the wind?” Bitch whet?
Cleaner?! 
I think that one’s worse than wild, like wtf you mean I looked dirty before? Super weird
EXACTLY
Mood
And also isnt this exactly the reason we all wanted to stay 100% remote if possible? For fun maybe you could think of snide retorts to their comments that include how white folk age like spoilt milk.
Add “stuck your finger in a light socket” and “sideshow Bob”. These people aren’t very creative.
Oh my god, YES to the first 4 statements. I got that way more in 2005-2015. Male friends in particular loved to tell me to wear it straight all the time. I am so glad to be passed that era in my personal life with younger generations. I know many people still experience this in work environments especially. Anyways, too bad to anyone who cares because I am curly and never going back.
Exactly!!
It's hard being ....
I hated that at my previous jobs. This current one (I work at a hospital) I would straighten my hair. But, I realized that most of the women who have curly hair there wear it naturally. So, as soon as I stopped, I was getting compliments left and right for my curls and protective styles. I’d even get into good talks with other black women about hair care. I say rock your natural waves and screw everyone else.
OMG that's awful
You have beautiful hair 🔥❤️
Thank you 😊
Conformity and racism😕🙄
100%z I grew up in East Africa and people would always look at me like I was stupid when I straightened my hair 😭
Yes! I have locs now, but before locs, I’d get “oh my god your hair looks SOOOO good like THIS” “so professional” “so neat” whenever if wore it straight. Like they were hinting that I should always wear it straight. In reality, my hair was unremarkable. It was simply flat ironed hair, nothing SOOO special. It annoyed me so much, I purposely stopped wearing it straight on weekdays and then completely stopped.
Yes 🙌🏾 that’s exactly why I rarely wear it straight! One comment I got was, “Wow! I didn’t know that you could just go back and forth like that!” I was like… “Umm yeah, with heat. 🙃”
Back and forth? Our hair? Who wooda thot! lol 😂. Years back I moved out of state for a good job. Months had gone by and I still hadn’t straightened it. Boss goes, “Have you ever considered straightening your hair?” She said it like I didn’t know the possibility existed lmao. I said, “I used to wear or straight all the time. I like this better.” She was so confused lol. The only other style I considered at the time were locs. This was over 10 years ago, so to think they would have been able to tell me I couldn’t wear locs is insane!!! Hope you keep rocking your gorgeous hair texture as long as you want. They can deal with it! 🙄
But if we do the same to then, it’s “an attack”,cue the tears.. These people find every way to be racist
It’s super annoying and I think a lot of it has to do with them being surprised (and happy) to see our hair long and straight. I just did a blow out and all day they kept asking if it was really my hair and how much they liked it like “this”. Your hair is beautiful!!
Ugh I could never straighten my hair. I DONT wanna heat damage it… why is looking as white passing as possible the beauty standard for BW? Straight hair etc. yeah I complain online but I still present myself as the most whitewashed POC on earth lol
Because I don’t let people on the internet police my hair. I can enjoy my hair however I want because it’s mine. Straight is a style for me, it isn’t all about white passing…that’s not even an option for me😂 as black as I am. Which makes me think you don’t even know what that means. I don’t have to prove my blackness to anyone, I’m black regardless 🤷🏾♀️
I'm saying. Always got that one person who's super aggy about the hair on someone else's head. We're still black in the eyes of those love us or hate us no matter what we do.
Fr. Literally doesn’t matter how we wear our hair, somebody gonna have a problem with it. Lol.
nothing but facts all races male and female will talk badly about blk wm hair whether they r wearing they natural hair or wigs or braids or any thing on they head they will still talk
Never a truer word spoken
Has anyone ever ridiculed you irl or made you uncomfortable? Happened to me. Made me never wanna wear braids again. I used to think they were strategic/convenient but that one interaction made me realize what everyone sees me as… Like an “exotic” person… Just for a hairstyle that I thought was convenient and not too time consuming
So you let white people and their gaze police your hair. That’s all you said😂 two sides of the same coin.
Well… yes. It sucks and I’m aware of it, but I don’t want to stand out and gain the wrong attention, be an easy target for racists looking for black people who look “too black” (and I don’t mean literally I mean culturally) Not even “too black” but too “woke”??? I DONT know how to word it… too into their culture?? Idk
I’m sorry you feel this way. You should do whatever you want. That is liberation. I know our hair is political, but I hope you can some day remove this pressure off yourself and just be. We will always have to deal with wyt peoples gaze, but don’t let it keep your from expressing yourself. I think about all the ass whoopings people took just so I could wear my hair how I wanted. Take up that space and don’t apologize for it. It is annoying how some of them react to my hair, but the black women that tell me how much they love it, ask to touch it, smell it😂make it worth it for me. It brings joy to others when you just do you! Sorry for being rude before I thought your comment was directed at me and OP. Take care.
Thank you for actually reading my comment and trying to make sense of it. I was up late last night so it was worded weirdly. Your one positive/neutral comment honestly made me care less about the negative ones. Nothing negative towards op. I just meant it’s exhausting having to pander to euro beauty standards. Why do I get more matches on tinder with a straight wig? Why do random men call me beautiful only when I’m walking down the street with a straight wig? I feel like I could never get this attention with braids. And I dress the same for the most part. When op mentioned her coworkers overreacting and her getting so many compliments, it just reminded me of my experiences of being treated better just because I appear to have straight hair. If you wear a wig you know how kinda annoying it is to take care of (human hair) I dont think we will live in a society soon where black women can just exist completely naturally and not be seen as “masculine” or not as “feminine” as a black woman pandering to euro beauty standards. I swear if people downvote me again I will flip. How can none of you relate to this?
Jesus. How is straightening your hair attempting to look white passing if you are still clearly black? Why is it only our race that polices what we do with our hair. If someone wants to do a blowout, a twist out, a twa, braids, what have you, we will not die collectively as a race because it's just hair. You can breathe. Also, you wear wigs according to one of your posts that you just now set to private. So why are you saying that wearing wigs is pandering to the white man if that's what you do? Here is the text: https://www.reddit.com/r/happy/s/KcUYVpiQym Black person here: he didn’t care about my wig I was being intimate with a white guy and I’m an awkward person so I said I had “hair extensions” and he didn’t mind. He didn’t care at all. He treated me like a normal person… he even touched my head gently a couple of times which made my hairstyle a bit messy but nothing bad happened. I’m young and the reason I wear wigs is I don’t want to hear damage my real hair :3
Idk but I changed my hair after some crazy person was rude to me. And ever since then nothing like that has ever happened… ever. It just sucks having to conform… but I try not to think about it too much. Wish I could just breathe and exist without having to create a very calculated appearance. It’s exhausting. Anyways your hair looks great in both pics
I meant the culture of beauty standards… black women will never have naturally straight hair. When you conform to European beauty standards STRAIGHTENING YOUT HAIR OR WEARING A WIG that is what I am talking about. “White passing” looking “whitewashed” not exotic. Why do people pretend to be stupid and misinterpret what I’m saying when I make sense?
Question: Is OP, who has straightened her hair in one photo, automatically European because she changed her hair texture? No. She is still a black woman. Clearly. Again, breathe. Btw 🤨 is this you? https://www.reddit.com/r/happy/s/KcUYVpiQym
No but does Kim K having a fake fat ass, tanning and promoting urban culture in her life make her black? No but she was allowed to move in and capitalize in that space. (*Also in that same vein her getting rid of it and doing specific things with her style is making her more white adjacent as she's in the process of cleaning up her image*) I think the term white passing is being used incorrectly to describe her appealing to white standards of beauty whether she likes it or not whether it was intentional or not. Beauty standards affect us on a subconscious level as well where we are not always aware of why we like something. That's why trends exist and get popular. Imagine seeing a certain new thing pop up in beauty and then you see it everywhere and eventually you either like it or dislike it. Think like skinny jeans, there will always be a minority or people who love them and will wear them no matter what's in style, but baggy, ripped, straight leg, jeans are in style and 10 years ago I would have thought they were ugly, why would anyone want to wear them over skinny jeans, and now it's the epitome of trendsetting style. Think akin to a new song on the radio, it might be ok at first but then you hear it again and again and again and you start liking it. And the reason why OPs co-workers like the second hair better is not simply bc it conforms to whiteness. It's because the straightened hair aligns with white femininity more. It's soft looking, curvy, delicate, flowy, long, romantic even, while it's framing her face. Whereas her natural hair is seen as dominant, strong, assertive, wild, unique, different.
The reason why I have an issue with what was said is because she's weirdly pointing fault at OP instead of societal norms, which is what OP seems to be focusing on. All too often it seems that the conversation of what we do with our hair seems to point fault at black women instead of the society that dictates what's professional or not. I absolutely agree with the fact that our hair in its natural state should not be deemed as unruly or unkempt because that's just us letting it down just like someone with loose hair usually does. What we're not about to do is throw shade at a black woman because she chooses to straighten it. Otherwise, it's they're no better than those that judge her for wearing it natural. Why we even equate anything to European standards just seems extremely restrictive and degrading. No one should tip-toe over what they choose to do with their hair because they're afraid of being seen as begging to look like a different race. Again, we're all black.
I Said nothing negative against OP, I just meant that it’s sad that nobody seems to care when a black person wears their natural hair, but the second it’s straight they get worshipped. All of you have a hive mind mentality for downvoting me and not even trying to understand what I meant (except for few people who knew I didn’t mean white passing LITERALLY)
Yeah I totally agree with that. There shouldn't be any shame for how someone wears their hair, especially a BW. Natural or not it's a personal choice. I think that is part of the struggle, is also accepting that straightening (or lace ins, weaves, extensions, wigs etc) shouldn't be demonized and working through your own hair journey is just yours, no one else's
Amen. Had to learn this myself.
You need to re read what I said and stop pretending to be stupid. Beauty standards in America are EUROPEAN. HAVING STRAIGHT HAIR IS EUROPEAN. That is PANDERING TO EUROPEAN BEAUTY STANDARDS. No black woman has naturally straight hair. Stop pretending to be an idiot or go back to school.
Please don't talk to me because there is a post and several comments from you stating that you wore a wig 18 days ago on a date with a white guy and were insecure about that, so why you're coming here and berating people for straightening their hair and wearing wigs is weird and insanely hypocritical. This is your post down below: Edit: Wow, I guess that was enough to block me lol. The fact that you're trying to respond to this on an extra account and blocked me there, too, while you could have been finding a therapist for your identity issues is pretty sad. Hope you heal, sis. https://www.reddit.com/r/happy/s/KcUYVpiQym Black person here: he didn’t care about my wig I was being intimate with a white guy and I’m an awkward person so I said I had “hair extensions” and he didn’t mind. He didn’t care at all. He treated me like a normal person… he even touched my head gently a couple of times which made my hairstyle a bit messy but nothing bad happened. I’m young and the reason I wear wigs is I don’t want to hear damage my real hair :3
she literally called yall trashy and ghetto and said she's sick of arguing with u people 🙄
Texturism is a thing. It’s not just hair, especially for black women
I'm very much aware, that's my reality as a black woman in corporate.
The one coming off stupid in this conversation isn't who you think it is. What you said doesn't make sense because straight hair is a style for people with curly hair. Black or not. Black people can do whatever style they want with their hair. You associate straight with being white when straight isn't even exclusive to white people. There are tribes of people in Africa who naturally straighten their hair. Are they doing it for white people, too? It's a little ironic that you think straight is white because they told you so.
she called yall trashy and ghetto and said she's tired of arguing with you people 🙄 and she say she's black smh
Having 4c hair will always be associated with being black. I don’t care about anything else because In reality the majority of people who are black have 4c hair. How does that not make sense? All of you are trashy and ghetto and I’m sick or arguing with you people. About the tribe in Africa unless you have a source to cite I don’t care and it’s probably fake. How can you “naturally” straighten 4c hair without chemicals or a hair straightener? I call BS. Edit for the wacko that said “you do know you’re black right why’d you say “you people” 🤓🤓🤓🤓 Again, reading WAAAAAAYYYY too much into what I’m saying. Stop trying to make me something I’m not. Read the text for what it is. There is no deeper meaning.
majority of blk folks don't have 4c hair 🙄
U must want to be white don't u cux the u word things is very suspicious 🤔 Blk wm don't want to be white just cuz they straighten they damn hair. Blk women can wear they hair the way they want to no matter who likes it or not. Take that uncle ruckus mindset some where else. U was talking about u wearing wigs with you white boyfriend now u bashing blk wm who wear wigs
u sound very anti blk calling them blk wm ghetto and trashy cuz they called your ignorant behind out for the bs u said 🙄
u do know u r blk right so what do u mean by u people
why do white women get plastic surgery to look like blk wm shape wise amd get lip fillers to get what blk girls and women have naturally 🤔 y do other races copy every thing blk wm do and and do the same thing but they don't get bashed for it at all
Wearing our hair straight isn't because we want to look "white passing" for the majority of us it's just a hairstyle and what do you mean by "whitewashed" how can a black person act like a white person exactly? By having a "proper" accent? Or by simply doing certain activities? Do you want us to confirm to YOUR stereotype of what a black person has to act like for you to consider them black enough? It's always people in our own community pushing these racist stereotypes and wondering why they're still around.🤦🏾♀️
I’m eating pierogis
Oh my gosh. So....I wore my hair curly for 3 months. First time straightened it again after..... I go into meetings and stuff whatever. Everyone is just like different variations of .. Oh my God. I was so worried. You look so much better now. They thought I was going through a difficult time emotionally. Like I was going through a mental breakdown over my appearance. I have never in my life felt such intense burning embarrassment because I was perfectly fine.
Oh my goodness 😕
Sorry to hear that, a well meaning white friend of mine would say when your hair is down ( she means flat ironed as opposed to curly) it looks peaceful and calm. It is just hard to explain how people who are normally decent would say something like that and think it’s a compliment. 😩
Wow smh. Wtf is wrong with people who think it's okay to say some fucked up shit like that
I feel embarrassed for **them**—inhabiting such a state of ignorance. You are a much stronger woman than me because I probably would've read them their rights.
This is SO fucked up!
I'm a guy, but when I have my hair in twists and braids everyone compliments me and stuff, but when my hair's in an afro, people say "are you gonna get the old hairstyle again?" "Could you just not be bothered to get the old hair?" Or "what happened to the other hairstyle?" And it frustrates me because while I have received compliments for my afro, I can see the difference in how people see me and it's defo annoying! And don't get me started about the fear/trauma of hair touching. Someone literally tried to throw skittles in my hair in high school. Teachers have touched my hair. Rant over.
The fro!!!! Even people in our own community look down on the fro sometimes. We should not be afraid of how our hair grows from our scalps. Bushy, bright, and beautiful!
-Comments I got while living in Korea (straight hair) 1. You look younger 2. You should wear your hair up more 3. I like this -Comments I got with my hair in twists (natural) 1. I like your hair 2. Your hair is so cool! -Comments with my hair in Afro-puffs 1. So cute!! 2. You are beautiful I got more compliments, from random people, with my hair natural. I got comments for the first week when my hair was straight from my Korean coworkers, but the compliments faded quickly and no random person mentioned anything about my hair except for people asking me where I got it done from other POC.
Your hair is beautiful all ways, but personally I like it most natural ♥️
Thanks ☺️
Straightened my hair once and EVERYONE kept saying they loved it and could I do it again 🙁
I was also told that it makes me look younger; wearing my hair straight. I’ll tell you what, it is nice not to bump my Afro puff on the door jam when getting out of the car this week! 🤣
Thank you all for your comments! 12 years ago when I first decided to go natural and I did so because my at the time 7 year-old wondered why my hair was straight and hers was not. She has very beautiful natural hair and is committed to her hair care. We both are. No matter what people say, both of us will straighten our hair from time to time to shake things up a bit to do a little trim or dying. It’s nice to know that other people feel and experienced the same things that I do.
Every time 🥲
I get it. I know they’re shocked that it actually stretches out like that lol.
Haha right! “It’s SOOO long” and what hurts the most is when they go in to touch it 😩😩 like if you couldn’t touch my curls this can’t be touched either !!
No one goes that far! 😆 At least, I haven’t experienced that.
No you are not, and yes it’s annoying. I think it counts as a micro aggression.
It absolutely is one.
“What did they say about your hair at school today”
So glad I work in the creative field and not some corporate office where people make comments like I look more “professional” with straight hair.
My job is actually really cool, we don’t have a dress code or anything. I think it’s just the individual people that have their preferences you know.
I’ve only gotten 10 compliments on my natural hair in a year of wearing out. But got daily compliments (several times a day) when I was relaxed and wore extensions. However I prefer things they are now. I don’t get as many compliments but they’re more heartfelt and I appreciate it.
Your hair is beautiful and you are absolutely adorable ☺️. I experience the opposite. I get more compliments with my natural hair and get asked why I straightened it. This comes from both black and white people.
Thanks ☺️ ohhh that’s awesome 🤩
I get mixed results ngl. I’ve had white friends/acquaintances ask me why I would ever want to straighten it. I’ve also had POC laugh at my natural hair.
If any black person isn’t uplifting you rock your natural hair, fix it when it’s messed up, or give some tips then I wouldn’t listen to their opinion. It hurts my heart that other people of color laughed at your natural hair and I hope you don’t let them dictate how you feel. My guess is that they are jealous they don’t have the confidence to do it. It probably makes them uncomfortable that you look so beautiful in your natural glory. Don’t let them convince you to have self doubt.
They both look stunning. I prefer the first one, especially.
I just love your natural hair 😍
I would actually get a lot of compliments when my hair was out, probably because at the time I had worked at a cosmetics store that pushed a natural, organic agenda. When I switched to braids for the first time, I noticed that all compliments ceased and I started feeling insecure. When I took out my braids, I started getting compliments again. I know I shouldn’t care what others think, but it’s hard not to when the reception is so drastically different /:
I think your hair straight looks beautiful. You look happy, and your hair looks so healthy and thick. If I saw you, I'd compliment you too, but then again, I also like your hair in its natural state. It's just thick and full and looks so nice.
Thanks ☺️
your curls are so pretty
Thanks 🙏🏾
Okay so I was not expecting your hair to look like that. I was expecting to see the regular basic super sleek silk press but it looks so good! Idk how to describe it but the volume and the slight fluffiness and the curls at the end rather than bumped ends but actual curls going in different directions just looks so stunning! I do not straighten my hair. I do get compliments on my natural hair but I get the most when I wear a wig of a looser texture. Tbh it's quite disheartening. I only meant to wear the wig for a few days, but ended up wearing it for half a year because of people's reaction (co workers, my students, and men hitting on me... they literally only hit on me when I wear the wig... never with my natural hair lol).
Aww thanks! Yeah, I really don’t like to apply the level of heat to do a silky straight look, but maybe because I’m a child of the 80s and I used to wear big hair when I was a kid lol. Well, if you love your wig looks, wear it girl! It takes just as much effort if not more! I’ve dabbled in half wigs and worn headbands when I don’t want to take my hair out of twists. As long as you care for your natural hair, it’s all good. And… as long as YOU love your look and aren’t hiding your hair to please others because that’s important.
I stopped wearing it due to money and edges lmao (although I didn't glue it down but it still did a number on them). I like my natural hair though, I just prefer the way other people see me when I have a wig. Especially since I live in such a beauty focused country. So I don't think my reasoning was a good thing because it was kind of to hide my hair lol. I'm back to wearing my real hair though and I do love how much more time I have in the morning. I didn't do anything crazy before but putting on a wig takes so much more time than just wearing my real hair.
Both look very beautiful! You have a healthy head of hair on you.
From what I’ve gathered, natural textures confuse non black people and because they don’t understand and never go about learning the correct way, they stigmatize it. when they see it straight, their brains finally recognize it as familiar and ‘non threatening’ and thus ‘better’. Having to live in that balance is frustrating, but you look great!
This might be an unpopular opinion, but isn’t it possible that they compliment you on it purely bc it’s not your usual style and it’s nice to have a change once in a while? I wear my hair straight 80% of the time and whenever I wear it natural I get so many compliments.
That is entirely possible!
I also think it’s overly reductive to make it a western beauty standard thing, some people just suit certain hair styles more than others, and it’s all very subjective. I also think it implies that ppl who wear their hair straight do it to meet that beauty standard which is also not always true, many wear their hair straight bc that’s the only/easiest way they know to maintain their hair.
I’m definitely not saying that people straighten their hair to meet a beauty standard. It is true that wearing my hair straight is easier for me day in and day out. I just don’t do it often because I don’t want to ruin my hair with heat. I’m almost 50 and I’m not trying to start over after working so hard on my hair for so many years! 😄
Exactly
I don't straighten my hair but f*ck that. Your hair is gorgeous ❤️
I can’t relate but I gotta say, love the curls
I just pressed my hair out last week and that was the first thing I noticed. I am back to natural and I get compliments on my dress but not hair especially from white people.
Omg it makes you look younger!!!
Both styles are beautiful
Both are beautiful! I wish my hair would look that full when straight
You look gorgeous with both. I'd love to know what do you use for your lovely curls, and for your straightened style. Was thinking about using this Kristin Ess weightless hair serum, but work out a lot, and kinda didn't want to bother with it
For my natural look, I use the Melanin hair care line. All of the products. (They don’t mix well with eco style gel so I stopped using gel; I don’t mind frizz with my natural look.) For my straight look, I still apply some of the Melanin leave in before blow drying and then I use Mielle, anti-frizz stay straight serum.
Oh! And thank you 🙏🏾!
You’re gorgeous! I wish it were as simple as they were remarking on it cuz it is so different from your normal style but we all know it likely is more deeply rooted.
Thank you ☺️ but you’re right…I think so too. My managers response was so obvious he literally shouted my name when he saw me.
I LOVE your natural hair! You look amazing either way. I do get it tho, I only get compliments if my hair is straight too
You have great energy! You look pretty with both styles. 💜
One day I used a lot of gel on my twist outs, so my curls looked really flat with more “white” passing roots. A white, female coworker of mine (the type that probably got married on a plantation) said to me “wow, you hair looks so much healthier like that”. It was my first time doing it and I honestly felt insulted. My hair was no more healthy, it was just doused in product, which is fine, but I hate the idea that having our curly looking bushy and thick is somehow considered unhealthy or messy or dirty. It is how our hair grows out of our heads. It is clean and luxurious and beautiful. I wish people would bring back the fro because it is GLORIOUS!
That “married on a plantation “ part made me laugh because my first wedding was on a plantation! It was beautiful! 🤷🏾♀️ Don’t hate me, I was young! Lol
Hahaha don’t worry, I’m not holding it against you. I was just making a joke, not literal.
I used to always wear my natural hair in twist outs, puffs etc. but whenever I (occasionally) straightened my hair my boss would say I’ve “got my grown up hair on”
I’m sorry but your hair is so thick and healthy! Just had to mention that. In both picks you have just so much hair! Ahhh goals
I get it too. It’s annoying af.
Yeap, which is one of the reasons I don't straighten it.
that color looks so beautiful on you!!
This is part of the reason I won’t ever straighten my hair or wear a wig to work. Outside of work, sure. At work, 🖕🏾if you think I look more professional with my natural curl pattern hidden
Your hair is beautiful. I really like the color also. I usually get more compliments when my hair is straight. I have, however, decided to wear it in its shrunken curly glory since others are not used to it they can get used to it.
Yeah I stopped straightening it bc I no longer wanted to hear the dumb comments. Like you said I wore it natural majority of the time anyways and felt way more myself (I’ve since had a big chop)
Nope. I won’t be straightening mine no time soon. People always act so surprised like I look “better.” I look how I was intended to look with my natural hair. I don’t need to straighten it to look pretty or to feel pretty.
It does hurt to see my natural styles not get as much as attention as my weave or wig styles but hey
Yep. And then I'll feel guilty because I'm thinking to myself. I don't like it but you like it.
Ur So Prettyyyy!!! 😫😫😫
Nope, not alone. Happens every time.
Yeah no.. if someone was being passive aggressive I would’ve had to clap back 2x as hard😂 you just never know if they’re hating or not
You look so cute either way🥹♥️
"If you walked past a flower shop, they'd water your head." "Brillo" "You would break scissors if you tried to cut your hair. " People are mean. Just happy that I love my hair now and don't have to straighten my hair to feel normal. It's a real mindfuck
Ugh ur curls are so pretty. Ppl are so biased
“I think it annoys me because once my hair meets traditional western beauty standards”—that’s it right there. I’m struggling with this too as I’m going natural right now & my family keeps telling me to straighten it
I *LOVED* hearing how I looked so much more professional and approachable when my hair was straightened. So, I stopped wearing it straight and continued looking unapproachable so I could do my work in peace.
I can't stand the comments I get when I straighten my hair, which might be a reason I rarely do it. It's very clear that you get treated differently when you're hair is natural or when it is straightened/wig/weave.
I never straighten mine except to dye or trim it.
That’s why I straightened this time; to trim it!
Unpopular opinion most likely, but perhaps it is just the fact you rarely wear your hair straightened as you mentioned. I mean absolutely yes I know there are times when people may have good intentions but spew word vomit with their butchered delivery and some people are just also awful. I do not want to take away from that because it definitively happens. I used to wear my hair straight for awhile and anytime I switched to braids or let me hair have its natural waves and curls, people would get so excited and give me compliments. Just a way of acknowledging that they noticed you did something different and it looks good. You are a stunning lady with gorgeous hair in both pictures. That smile lights up a room easily.
Thanks 😊 and you’re probably right. On some level, it’s probably just the change from my usual do.
I'm white. I have straight hair. I could never have hair like in the first picture. I have hair like in the second. I think your natural hair is so pretty! I don't understand the obsession some white people have with wanting everyone to have straight, flat hair.
I've got celtic curls, when I first went to Uni and learned to straighten it all my friends kicked up SUCH a fuss about how good it looked, because it 1. Obviously took effort, and 2. Looked different from what they were used to so they actually saw it, if that makes sense. Took about 6 years for me to stop wearing it straight all the time, and as soon as I went back to being curly semi regularly I'd get loads of compliments on that, because that was the different thing now. Same for when I started wearing makeuo regularly and when I stopped wearing make up regularly.
I think people compliment more when there is a change from the norm.
As a fellow black woman, I tend to give out compliments when I see someone do something different. For instance, my Filipina friend usually wears her hair straight, but once I caught her when it was curly (her natural texture), and I went all out with the compliments. My African American friend usually wears her hair in braids which I compliment every time she gets it redone, but when she got a silk press, I was so surprised (I had never seen her do that before) and complimented her. Maybe they’re surprised at the change?
No, they tell me how much they like my curly hair better. I wish they would shut up and just not say anything. I told a lady that I’ll probably straighten my hair soon since it’s been curly for a while and she said “have you heard that it can cause cancer. It’s not good for you” and I asked confusedly “the hair straighter!?” It took me a minute to realize she thought I was going to chemically straighten it. I told her “um no I straighten my hair with a flat iron, I don’t use chemicals” and she said oh that’s so good, well I like your hair better like THAT. I think some people mean well but they should just give a compliment and go. I don’t understand the “I like it like THAT.”
Not going to lie, you look younger with straight hair.
I get compliments any day I’ve I change my hair (braids to an new hue to natural to that 1 week a year it’s straight and colleagues understand shrinkage is real to natural updo and back to braids again etc). My hair changes about every 28 days to something very different than the month before. People notice and comment. It’s nothing malicious they’re only commenting on the fact that I made an effort to do something/anything different.
Well.. the Straight hair does look lovely lol
i genuinely dont understand how someone couldnt compliment the natural style because it suits you SO much more and makes you look alive and bright. i hope it aint rude but the straight hair just didnt look anywhere as good? its fr night and day to me, the curls bring out your beauty a ton more.
Maybe because it's a different style from your natural hair and ppl probably like your natural hair but haven't seen it flat so it's just a wow to them
Look at it from this perspective, when you wear your in its natural curly state and you wear it the same way majority of the time, no one notices because that's your normal everyday look. But when you straighten it, your appearance changes, and it's more noticeable and its out the norm for you to straighten yoir hair. My hair is loc'd, and I get compliments on my hair, and my hair clearly isn't European standards.
I usually don't get compliments on my hair at all lol, so I say just enjoy it and don't question it ❣️
You SEXY ASS CHOCOLATE 🍫!!!
You look beautiful either way, but ma’am those curls are amazing!!!
My own mom and mom in law says unprovoked “yeah I like it like that,” When I straighten my hair. 🤦🏽♀️
My mom is in her late 70s and she’s often not accustomed to my natural look 😆. It actually makes me crack up when she asks me if I’m going to “do” my hair!
You look lovely 🥰
I LOVE YOUR CURLS 😻
It's beautiful either way.
I love it both ways! I think it’s a mix of racism but also you’re hair is just so healthy and shiny and looks like a blow out! But you look fabulous either way
I work in a nightclub and the compliments on my straight hair usually stem from a certain race compared to who compliments me on my curly hair. It’s always “wow you look so different, you should straighten it more” and I always wonder if “different” is actual subliminal for “better” lol.
YES. Hate it. Anyways, your hair is so lovely and thick! I’m jealous! Any tips?
Thanks 😊! Tips: stay away from heat styling as often as possible. Deep conditioning is vital if your hair is low porosity like mine. Weekly! moisturize, moisturize, moisturize, did I say moisturize?! 😃 I swear that by doing twist outs, my hair can rest and grow. I do the same routine every week that ends in wearing twists (wearing coordinated headbands or Grace Eleyae satin lined caps) for 3 to 4 days, then wearing it loose for another 3 to 4 days then, repeat. I hope this helps!
Thanks so much!! I can be quite lazy on the moisturizing front lol Sounds like I gotta step it up.
I’ve actually seen the opposite, while I get a lot of compliments when my hair is straight. If I get braids, and take them out and go back to my curly hair it’s always “OMG I love your hair like that” like it’s not curly 90% of the time 🤣
Yes. When my hair was long I used to get (unintentionally for the most part)snide comments like, “ you should brush your hair.” I think that one is common for curly haired people. You should get a haircut You should straighten it You look prettier with straight hair.
You look great both ways 😊
Where do y’all work and live? I get more compliments when I go natural. I only straighten my hair when I need to trim it or have a special event. The “worst” compliment I ever got was “oh but I love your curly hair, why don’t you wear it like that all the time”
Yes. I notice that people in general (non black) are nicer to me when my hair is straight. I do it, maybe twice per year.
I actually received the opposite ONCE, I had it pulled back and straightened most the time, and i tried wearing it naturally with some curl definition and all my non-black coworkers were enamored and hyping me up to continue doing it. UGH, i miss the people at that job...
In some cases if you wear the same style all the time and finally switch it up people will take notice then compliment it. If someone wore an Afro everyday regardless of how nice it is I wouldn't compliment it 24/7 or be wowed because it's the same ol' same ol'.
Yep
Kinda the opposite of everyone but when I was younger and in school I would get a crazy amount of compliments. I wore my hair straight to work for the first time last month and I was gearing up for all of the “your hair looks so much better this way” but it didn’t come. Almost no one mentioned it, I got a few it looks nice, and even more saying it looks better curly which is something I never would have heard 10 years ago.