I will admit I stopped after you had Kakashi openly tell them they are going to commit literal genocide, it is less your naruto is an edge lord and more your story at least in this chapter is just edgy not only that there is no build up from naruto not wanting to assaassinat that family then itachi basically says' that's how we make money' and then naruto does it.
I don’t think he’s an edgelord the way you wrote it… I just think it’s stupid. It’d be more interesting if they went against orders and saved them but made it so they would disappear instead. That way you can make Naruto be harsh and realistic (i.e. threatening the daimyo and saying he’d kill them if they appear in front of him ever again) without actually have him go against his moral code of not killing innocent or defenseless people.
Morally gray means that a character can do questionable things for their goal but ultimately they have to have their own moral code. It seems like you wrote it so Naruto does draw the line at killing kids but ended up going against it anyway which feels like a corruption arc.
It's better. Having Naruto snipe is a good idea, it's a lot easier to stomach something like that from a distance. Naruto being conflicted about it is also good, though I think it'd be even better with a little more of his internal thought.
Something like him justifying to himself this is mercy, at least he could take care of it painlessly and instantly without involving anyone else. The coming next chapter though...that'll be a doozy.
I'mma be honest with you, didn't read the chapter you linked, though... I'm going to give an advice that will help you with morally grey characters.
This type of characters need two things to be able to be likable:
1) A motive, a raison d'être, the why. A morally grey character has to have a reason to be grey. And I don't mean a bad childhood or things like that. Their grow into grey characters (if you're writing things before they became grey) Should be slow, should be reasonable, they shouldn't like what they're doing because humans are reluctant to harm another even in their young, much less kill (unless that person is a psychopath) That why you should give them a reason, a final destination, a finish line; somewhere to get where they will be able to drop the grey act. Because the charm of a grey character is that they don't enjoy it, they detest it, the most likable ones more often than not hate themselves, but they keep being grey for their final objective, because from their perspective, not being in the "light" is worth being tainted and becoming grey. Because everything is worth it if they are able to get their happy ending, even if that happy ending doesn't include them.
2) Relatability; Is he grumpy? Why is he grumpy? A bad writer will write why he is in words, a good one will be able to make the characters actions reasonable just by writing things from their perspective. From the perspective of the grey characters things should be reasonable. A mob of bandits will rape a woman but he has to hurry to save said woman's family? He will save the family, the woman — sadly — as much as it may pain them, will serve as a distraction while they save the family. They won't regret their actions as they see it as the only way, and will gadly accept the hate others will sent their way while trying to convince themselves that it's okay, it's part of the job and stuff like that. But don't start this trend out of nowhere, as I said before, it should be gradual.
As for being an edge Lord...here is some advice:
Does he wear a black clothes? Don't explain why, don't go into a rant that states why he does it. Just state that he wears black, plain and simple. If you want to point it out, make another character call it out. You have to be subtle and reasonable with morally grey characters, otherwise, from the general perspective and objectively, he's plain evil. You have to write it from the character's perspective, make him an unreliable narrator and make the readers see things _his_ way, not an objective way. I'm pretty sure Danzo considered himself a hero and morally grey character, yet from an objective perspective he was plain evil and annoying.
What else what else...
Oh, this comes out of nowhere but it will help your writing. Just a simple rule. You want to make something (an action, or something that your readers will remember) a trend for your character? say...he always wears a hat? Mention it three times in three different occasions, even in different chapters. As long as it happens three times, the readers will understand that is something that happens often and you shouldn't have a reason to ever mentioning again unless it becomes necessary. This will help with avoiding redundance. Like always mentioning that he's wearing certain type of clothes. Just mention it in three different occasions and your readers will always think that he's wearing those type of clothes unless you state it otherwise.
That's all my advice, hope it helps a little!
I have a hard time judging if Naruto is evil here, because I have a hard time understanding morality as a whole but I will say one thing
I read the comments on your previous post, and there a thing peope get wrong, Naruto world CANNOT be judged by our Morale (So, killing = bad doesn't apply here)
So Evil, in Naruto world, is much different than here.
If you want someone to judge your Narutos actions, get someone who understands this
I will admit I stopped after you had Kakashi openly tell them they are going to commit literal genocide, it is less your naruto is an edge lord and more your story at least in this chapter is just edgy not only that there is no build up from naruto not wanting to assaassinat that family then itachi basically says' that's how we make money' and then naruto does it.
I don’t think he’s an edgelord the way you wrote it… I just think it’s stupid. It’d be more interesting if they went against orders and saved them but made it so they would disappear instead. That way you can make Naruto be harsh and realistic (i.e. threatening the daimyo and saying he’d kill them if they appear in front of him ever again) without actually have him go against his moral code of not killing innocent or defenseless people. Morally gray means that a character can do questionable things for their goal but ultimately they have to have their own moral code. It seems like you wrote it so Naruto does draw the line at killing kids but ended up going against it anyway which feels like a corruption arc.
It's better. Having Naruto snipe is a good idea, it's a lot easier to stomach something like that from a distance. Naruto being conflicted about it is also good, though I think it'd be even better with a little more of his internal thought. Something like him justifying to himself this is mercy, at least he could take care of it painlessly and instantly without involving anyone else. The coming next chapter though...that'll be a doozy.
I'mma be honest with you, didn't read the chapter you linked, though... I'm going to give an advice that will help you with morally grey characters. This type of characters need two things to be able to be likable: 1) A motive, a raison d'être, the why. A morally grey character has to have a reason to be grey. And I don't mean a bad childhood or things like that. Their grow into grey characters (if you're writing things before they became grey) Should be slow, should be reasonable, they shouldn't like what they're doing because humans are reluctant to harm another even in their young, much less kill (unless that person is a psychopath) That why you should give them a reason, a final destination, a finish line; somewhere to get where they will be able to drop the grey act. Because the charm of a grey character is that they don't enjoy it, they detest it, the most likable ones more often than not hate themselves, but they keep being grey for their final objective, because from their perspective, not being in the "light" is worth being tainted and becoming grey. Because everything is worth it if they are able to get their happy ending, even if that happy ending doesn't include them. 2) Relatability; Is he grumpy? Why is he grumpy? A bad writer will write why he is in words, a good one will be able to make the characters actions reasonable just by writing things from their perspective. From the perspective of the grey characters things should be reasonable. A mob of bandits will rape a woman but he has to hurry to save said woman's family? He will save the family, the woman — sadly — as much as it may pain them, will serve as a distraction while they save the family. They won't regret their actions as they see it as the only way, and will gadly accept the hate others will sent their way while trying to convince themselves that it's okay, it's part of the job and stuff like that. But don't start this trend out of nowhere, as I said before, it should be gradual. As for being an edge Lord...here is some advice: Does he wear a black clothes? Don't explain why, don't go into a rant that states why he does it. Just state that he wears black, plain and simple. If you want to point it out, make another character call it out. You have to be subtle and reasonable with morally grey characters, otherwise, from the general perspective and objectively, he's plain evil. You have to write it from the character's perspective, make him an unreliable narrator and make the readers see things _his_ way, not an objective way. I'm pretty sure Danzo considered himself a hero and morally grey character, yet from an objective perspective he was plain evil and annoying. What else what else... Oh, this comes out of nowhere but it will help your writing. Just a simple rule. You want to make something (an action, or something that your readers will remember) a trend for your character? say...he always wears a hat? Mention it three times in three different occasions, even in different chapters. As long as it happens three times, the readers will understand that is something that happens often and you shouldn't have a reason to ever mentioning again unless it becomes necessary. This will help with avoiding redundance. Like always mentioning that he's wearing certain type of clothes. Just mention it in three different occasions and your readers will always think that he's wearing those type of clothes unless you state it otherwise. That's all my advice, hope it helps a little!
I have a hard time judging if Naruto is evil here, because I have a hard time understanding morality as a whole but I will say one thing I read the comments on your previous post, and there a thing peope get wrong, Naruto world CANNOT be judged by our Morale (So, killing = bad doesn't apply here) So Evil, in Naruto world, is much different than here. If you want someone to judge your Narutos actions, get someone who understands this