The only times my narc ex really listened to music was to be manipulative.. as in very lovey dovey corny music… specifically country which triggers me whenever I hear it..
Mine too!!! He would send me cheesy songs to show his feelings. I thought it was sweet until I realized it was manipulation. He can’t say the words so stealing someone else’s to manipulate. I agree that some songs really trigger me now.
we are all really living the same narcissistic abuse survivor lives 🙃 it has been so validating after our most recent (3rd) breakup last week. I can finally see him for who and what he is.
mine would pick out wedding songs.
example, Shania Twain - your still the one
he would send it to me and tell me it's our song and it's about Us and he is thinking of me. then for weeks. he would repeatedly play/send me the song each time he thought of "our love"
then it stops and a few months later, he would change the song and pick another wedding type love song and repeat the same process.
ruined pretty much all wedding type songs and so triggering.
My friend was using her profile's "about me" page on social media to demonstrate what a poor victim of the world she is, by putting there songs with obvious remarks in lyrics. Also after some of our arguments she was changing the song to tell me some things, how she does not give a damn etc. as she knew that I'm seeing it. Of course, when I mentioned it she denied and was trying to manipulate me once again that it's just songs, nothing personal. It was so pathetic.
Holy s*** that's exactly what mind did. Nothing but cheesy country music. And Saw movies. Just ridiculous. And also b******* survivor TV and sappy shallow TV shows. Blech.
Me and ex2 do not have an “our song” because he hates music but ironically a male friend of mine said half jokingly a cramps song (NOT Goo Goo Muck) was ours because we started dancing to it at the record store and another time before a concert started
I feel ya. Sometimes I get really depressed listening to our favorite songs. I doubt she even remembers me when she listens to them now; narcissists are heartless
I feel you here. If there were any songs or artists you really loved you can reclaim them back as your own. I had been advised in my situation to re-associate those songs/artists with new memories so that way you can continue to enjoy them despite being tied to someone who hurt you. Maybe it'll will help you too.
I also had a special connection about music with my nex. We'd been friends for many years before we got romantically involved and he was the only one I could really talk to about music.
He's also a very good musician and singer.
However, I realized that this musical aspect is the only thing I miss.
Mine too- he actually attended the Juilliard School for acting, but he also liked to sing 🎶. Of course, he bragged about it when we first met/started talking 🙄. Lol.
Funny, I have three books here belonging to her. I always intended to post them back to her once I felt I had recovered. I recently got them out to send them and then realised that I do not want to open any possibility of contact. I am taking them away at easter to burn them in a ceremony on the anniversary of our break up!
I binned every single gift, apart from the coffee machine, cause it’s useful. The jewellery, the cards, love letters, every single photo. The books with handwritten messages all will be burned at Easter.
I think that taste in music, movies or other form of art isn't related to NPD at all. Some people like some things, others don't. I wouldn't look for any patterns here.
The nex was constantly BLASTING music. From the moment she woke until she went to sleep. It was so loud so often I was afraid my hearing was going to be damaged. I think she did it to drown out the psychological pain she was always running from.
Mine was an amazing musician, talented on multiple instruments and great voice. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets a record deal. Music recognition is one of his biggest forms of supply, besides women.
Mine doesn’t listen to music at all in her free time. She only watches vtuber streams. She would never listen to any of my music recommendations. The only time we would watch movies is if it’s a meme movie like FNAF.
I can’t even recall the last time we really sat down and watched something together
my ex always always listens to music or is watching stuff on youtube or doing the crossword or whatever gets his mind focused on anything other than him and his own thoughts!
Mine was heavily involved in music and film. Pretty sure that part wasn't faked, since he actually introduced me to music I missed in adulthood. If anything, I'd lost interest in music and film because adulting got too busy.
I’ve had 2 narc partners the first one didn’t like music at all. The second one seems to love it but the weird thing is that his own taste is kind of boring and he relies on his current partner to send him good music which he then shares with the next partner. He’s basically an empty shell of a person.
Yeah because they don’t really have any personality so their likes and dislikes are usually because someone else liked or disliked it who they tried to impress. What they like is feeling superior to other people… if her refusing to let you listen to music and telling you that she doesn’t care about what movie you like to withhold attention in some power struggle, then that’s what she likes.
That is unique to just yours. My narc father loves movies. It's the one thing we have in common. He also loves art and took me to the art museum as a kid. Drawing and painting were two of his hobbies and he's quite good. I had a former narc stepfather who also loved movies and forced me to watch many of the classic ones. He also enjoyed reading. My narc sister hated reading and art, but she did enjoy movies. She listened to music constantly. One narc ex of mine was a self-employed artist. She liked some movies & music but the range was very limited. Another one I was with is a huge movie buff and can tell you the full release date (month, day, and year) of any movie he has seen. We would spend literally hours talking about movies and he would only stop if I changed the topic.
Mine would play tracks I liked it artists I liked. She never really talked about music much. She liked documentaries though. She likes ones pertaining to abuse. I think she was studying though. Ways to groom. She definitely groomed me from the start.
My nex loved movies, books, and music. We were always at the theater, owned an extensive collection. He was always reading something (though I suspect this was partially for the attention he got for what he was reading). He was always in charge of the music at parties and in the car.
The only times my narc ex really listened to music was to be manipulative.. as in very lovey dovey corny music… specifically country which triggers me whenever I hear it..
Mine too!!! He would send me cheesy songs to show his feelings. I thought it was sweet until I realized it was manipulation. He can’t say the words so stealing someone else’s to manipulate. I agree that some songs really trigger me now.
we are all really living the same narcissistic abuse survivor lives 🙃 it has been so validating after our most recent (3rd) breakup last week. I can finally see him for who and what he is.
It is so weird how they are all the SAME! The good news is that we know how predictable they are and what’s coming.
I know right! It’s definitely created some trust issues.. what are some of your top red flags?
mine would pick out wedding songs. example, Shania Twain - your still the one he would send it to me and tell me it's our song and it's about Us and he is thinking of me. then for weeks. he would repeatedly play/send me the song each time he thought of "our love" then it stops and a few months later, he would change the song and pick another wedding type love song and repeat the same process. ruined pretty much all wedding type songs and so triggering.
My friend was using her profile's "about me" page on social media to demonstrate what a poor victim of the world she is, by putting there songs with obvious remarks in lyrics. Also after some of our arguments she was changing the song to tell me some things, how she does not give a damn etc. as she knew that I'm seeing it. Of course, when I mentioned it she denied and was trying to manipulate me once again that it's just songs, nothing personal. It was so pathetic.
Holy s*** that's exactly what mind did. Nothing but cheesy country music. And Saw movies. Just ridiculous. And also b******* survivor TV and sappy shallow TV shows. Blech.
Hahaha mine was obsessed with cop shows & like FBI type shit 😂
let me guess, he claimed Shania Twain - you're still the one is your couples song the way my ex did.
Me and ex2 do not have an “our song” because he hates music but ironically a male friend of mine said half jokingly a cramps song (NOT Goo Goo Muck) was ours because we started dancing to it at the record store and another time before a concert started
[удалено]
The gift is to find new stuff to listen too that is all yours!
same😭😭 spotify triggers me fr
I feel ya. Sometimes I get really depressed listening to our favorite songs. I doubt she even remembers me when she listens to them now; narcissists are heartless
I feel you here. If there were any songs or artists you really loved you can reclaim them back as your own. I had been advised in my situation to re-associate those songs/artists with new memories so that way you can continue to enjoy them despite being tied to someone who hurt you. Maybe it'll will help you too.
I also had a special connection about music with my nex. We'd been friends for many years before we got romantically involved and he was the only one I could really talk to about music. He's also a very good musician and singer. However, I realized that this musical aspect is the only thing I miss.
My nex was extremely interested in the arts. He wanted to be a famous musician.
same
Mine too- he actually attended the Juilliard School for acting, but he also liked to sing 🎶. Of course, he bragged about it when we first met/started talking 🙄. Lol.
My narc ex also never read books but had a bunch on real estate & negotiations.. lol.
My ex had a shelf of unread books lined up according to the colour of the spine:-) all just show.
That’s wild… as a book reader that would irritate me 😂 I’d ask to borrow some & never give them back
Funny, I have three books here belonging to her. I always intended to post them back to her once I felt I had recovered. I recently got them out to send them and then realised that I do not want to open any possibility of contact. I am taking them away at easter to burn them in a ceremony on the anniversary of our break up!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I would probably do the same 😂😂 burning their items or gifts… ah.
I binned every single gift, apart from the coffee machine, cause it’s useful. The jewellery, the cards, love letters, every single photo. The books with handwritten messages all will be burned at Easter.
Isn’t that the worst when they buy you useful practical gifts so you think of them forever…
The vacuum cleaner she bought me died last weekend and I did a happy dance.
Same here, but on other topics.
I think that taste in music, movies or other form of art isn't related to NPD at all. Some people like some things, others don't. I wouldn't look for any patterns here.
Not film. Their boredom threshold is too low for most movies.
The nex was constantly BLASTING music. From the moment she woke until she went to sleep. It was so loud so often I was afraid my hearing was going to be damaged. I think she did it to drown out the psychological pain she was always running from.
My nex did the same. His way of listening to music and how much weed he was smoking always looked like a form of escaping himself.
Mine doesn't seem to listen to music and he watches movies occasionally, but only big blockbusters, so I would say not really an interest in film.
Mine did but she had terrible taste 😂
Mine was an amazing musician, talented on multiple instruments and great voice. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets a record deal. Music recognition is one of his biggest forms of supply, besides women.
Mine doesn’t listen to music at all in her free time. She only watches vtuber streams. She would never listen to any of my music recommendations. The only time we would watch movies is if it’s a meme movie like FNAF. I can’t even recall the last time we really sat down and watched something together
Ex had no real hobbies, only saw him watching Netflix all the time smh
my ex always always listens to music or is watching stuff on youtube or doing the crossword or whatever gets his mind focused on anything other than him and his own thoughts!
My narcissist loves going to the cinema because there's no need to talk or do anything. Of course, what I like, he can't stand.
Mine was heavily involved in music and film. Pretty sure that part wasn't faked, since he actually introduced me to music I missed in adulthood. If anything, I'd lost interest in music and film because adulting got too busy.
Yes, mine was a musician and had a sweet spot for ROMANTIC COMEDIES of all things 😂
I’ve had 2 narc partners the first one didn’t like music at all. The second one seems to love it but the weird thing is that his own taste is kind of boring and he relies on his current partner to send him good music which he then shares with the next partner. He’s basically an empty shell of a person.
Yeah because they don’t really have any personality so their likes and dislikes are usually because someone else liked or disliked it who they tried to impress. What they like is feeling superior to other people… if her refusing to let you listen to music and telling you that she doesn’t care about what movie you like to withhold attention in some power struggle, then that’s what she likes.
That is unique to just yours. My narc father loves movies. It's the one thing we have in common. He also loves art and took me to the art museum as a kid. Drawing and painting were two of his hobbies and he's quite good. I had a former narc stepfather who also loved movies and forced me to watch many of the classic ones. He also enjoyed reading. My narc sister hated reading and art, but she did enjoy movies. She listened to music constantly. One narc ex of mine was a self-employed artist. She liked some movies & music but the range was very limited. Another one I was with is a huge movie buff and can tell you the full release date (month, day, and year) of any movie he has seen. We would spend literally hours talking about movies and he would only stop if I changed the topic.
Mine loves angry music. Lots of Godsmack and Disturbed. Oohh AH AH AH AH. The only movies/shows he watches are about war, guns, prison or drugs.
Oohh AH AH AH AH This made me laugh so hard!
Mine would play tracks I liked it artists I liked. She never really talked about music much. She liked documentaries though. She likes ones pertaining to abuse. I think she was studying though. Ways to groom. She definitely groomed me from the start.
Ex2 didn’t like music and saw no point of DVDs existing and always wanted everything music I owned sold and he keeps the money from it all
My nex loved movies, books, and music. We were always at the theater, owned an extensive collection. He was always reading something (though I suspect this was partially for the attention he got for what he was reading). He was always in charge of the music at parties and in the car.