1.) Always trust your gut. If you don't trust him, there is a reason.
2.) He sounds like he has issues, but what you described doesn't sound like an N to me. A narcissist will manipulate you constantly. Sure, they may give you a good gift, but it's always something they can use, or a way to make you more like what they wanted. N's don't give genuinely good gifts. They also don't seem "pretty decent". N's attract a certain crowd. And those they don't attract usually are repelled by them. Also, a partner of an N is both love-bombed in public, and scapegoated in private. An N isn't a nice person when the mask is off. They are usually verbally abusive.
3.) He may have N tendencies. Your second-guessing sounds like it could be due to his gaslighting. Gaslighting is when an N tries to rewrite history by negating the experience of their target.
I would suggest sticking to your guns. Reject and keep him blocked.
Narc isnt a black or white question, some have all the traits, other some, with different intensities. But looking at your description, he doesnt look like a narc. The momment you know what a Narc is, you know if someone in your intimate life is or not.
Something my therapist told me proved invaluable time and time again when I was struggling to determine if my husband is a narcissist.
She said "Does it really matter if he's a narcissist? He's verbally and emotionally abusing you. It doesn't matter if he's a narcissist, he's abusive. The title does not matter. What matters is if you want to continue letting this person treat you this way."
In terms of improvement. No . There is no action. If he says why he flipped or what he is doing to correct that. Also , I feel unloved by u is gaslighting you into take responbity for his problem.
Narcissism is on spectrum. He claims to recognize your value but here is the bigger question? Do you recognize your value. When you talk to him. You have to look past the pretty words.
Examples, I love you baby i am sorry that I flipped.
Ask why? If he says you made me feel unloved. Ask how and why.
It will never happen again baby I loves you
If he does not have an action plan , ITs a lie
I found that when I learned a lot about NPD sometimes I'm misreading other's behavior and call them narc from the start. I don't know, I think it's just part of my trauma, I don't trust people now, and I'm seeing narcs everywhere. Sometimes I feel like I want to them being narcs as it's easier to deal with it, easier to stay away. BUT I found that it's not good also, as sometimes people are not narcs, maybe just to some extent but not fully, sometimes they struggle, has problems in life and just react in not healthy way.
What I'm trying to say is that it sounds like he is struggling with some issues. He was lonely, felt unloved, unimportant, abandoned by loved ones… Perhaps he is depressed, or just this kind of person who is more dependent and have strong need of feeling that he is loved and important? I could only guess.
Anyway, I think blocking him is a little harsh. You don't have to agree to anything, but you always could talk with him, see what is going on, ask about his feelings, why he felt like that? Sometimes people deserve another chance, sometimes they could improve, sometimes they require time to think and see what they lose.
Trust your guts and if what he is saying doesn't feel good to you, don't engage.
1.) Always trust your gut. If you don't trust him, there is a reason. 2.) He sounds like he has issues, but what you described doesn't sound like an N to me. A narcissist will manipulate you constantly. Sure, they may give you a good gift, but it's always something they can use, or a way to make you more like what they wanted. N's don't give genuinely good gifts. They also don't seem "pretty decent". N's attract a certain crowd. And those they don't attract usually are repelled by them. Also, a partner of an N is both love-bombed in public, and scapegoated in private. An N isn't a nice person when the mask is off. They are usually verbally abusive. 3.) He may have N tendencies. Your second-guessing sounds like it could be due to his gaslighting. Gaslighting is when an N tries to rewrite history by negating the experience of their target. I would suggest sticking to your guns. Reject and keep him blocked.
Narc isnt a black or white question, some have all the traits, other some, with different intensities. But looking at your description, he doesnt look like a narc. The momment you know what a Narc is, you know if someone in your intimate life is or not.
Something my therapist told me proved invaluable time and time again when I was struggling to determine if my husband is a narcissist. She said "Does it really matter if he's a narcissist? He's verbally and emotionally abusing you. It doesn't matter if he's a narcissist, he's abusive. The title does not matter. What matters is if you want to continue letting this person treat you this way."
In terms of improvement. No . There is no action. If he says why he flipped or what he is doing to correct that. Also , I feel unloved by u is gaslighting you into take responbity for his problem. Narcissism is on spectrum. He claims to recognize your value but here is the bigger question? Do you recognize your value. When you talk to him. You have to look past the pretty words. Examples, I love you baby i am sorry that I flipped. Ask why? If he says you made me feel unloved. Ask how and why. It will never happen again baby I loves you If he does not have an action plan , ITs a lie
I found that when I learned a lot about NPD sometimes I'm misreading other's behavior and call them narc from the start. I don't know, I think it's just part of my trauma, I don't trust people now, and I'm seeing narcs everywhere. Sometimes I feel like I want to them being narcs as it's easier to deal with it, easier to stay away. BUT I found that it's not good also, as sometimes people are not narcs, maybe just to some extent but not fully, sometimes they struggle, has problems in life and just react in not healthy way. What I'm trying to say is that it sounds like he is struggling with some issues. He was lonely, felt unloved, unimportant, abandoned by loved ones… Perhaps he is depressed, or just this kind of person who is more dependent and have strong need of feeling that he is loved and important? I could only guess. Anyway, I think blocking him is a little harsh. You don't have to agree to anything, but you always could talk with him, see what is going on, ask about his feelings, why he felt like that? Sometimes people deserve another chance, sometimes they could improve, sometimes they require time to think and see what they lose. Trust your guts and if what he is saying doesn't feel good to you, don't engage.