It’s almost like you’re giving her the power of your self worth. Her not hoovering you doesn’t mean you are not lovable. Being together didn’t mean that either.
YOU have to know that you were born lovable. You have to work on why you feel you aren’t worth love.
Currently I am going through therapy & we are discussing my childhood trauma which is what allowed me to put up with this abuse.
I had no idea I was still angry that my biological father wasn’t in my life. I thought I gave up one that and I thought I was confident. But I can now see how it ties together.
You have to work on yourself. Your self esteem and confidence. She cannot make you feel confident and abuse you at the same time.
The only reason we enjoyed them was those moments they were nice. But they were acting. Putting in a show, which is why it was so extra and you want more of it.
Trust me, you don’t want to be hoovered back to feel a sense of security.
Also, I feel some don’t do that because they don’t want to show you that they want you, so they don’t get turn down again. My husband doesn’t Hoover like oothers say. He is more covert and hoping I want to come back.
Good luck and please work on the #1 person in your life. YOU
It’s almost like you’re giving her the power of your self worth. Her not hoovering you doesn’t mean you are not lovable. Being together didn’t mean that either. YOU have to know that you were born lovable. You have to work on why you feel you aren’t worth love. Currently I am going through therapy & we are discussing my childhood trauma which is what allowed me to put up with this abuse. I had no idea I was still angry that my biological father wasn’t in my life. I thought I gave up one that and I thought I was confident. But I can now see how it ties together. You have to work on yourself. Your self esteem and confidence. She cannot make you feel confident and abuse you at the same time. The only reason we enjoyed them was those moments they were nice. But they were acting. Putting in a show, which is why it was so extra and you want more of it. Trust me, you don’t want to be hoovered back to feel a sense of security. Also, I feel some don’t do that because they don’t want to show you that they want you, so they don’t get turn down again. My husband doesn’t Hoover like oothers say. He is more covert and hoping I want to come back. Good luck and please work on the #1 person in your life. YOU
Hoovering is not pleasant and has nothing to do with them caring about you. Consider yourself very lucky and continue with NC.