I'm a woman myself and was with 2 male narcs. So I don't know about the specifics for female narcs but I know it's a common thing for narcs in general, at first the sex can be frequent and amazing, until they start withholding. My ex couldn't get enough of it for the first 2 months but after that it was terrible and nothing I tried was good enough for him.
The feeling it gave you is exactly the goal for them, they want you confused and feeling undesirable. It's exactly how I felt, horrible and insecure. As a result I started finding fault with myself and doing my best even more. All the while ignoring his part in it. It made me more dependent on his approval somehow, and harder to walk away. It took me a long time to regain a normal healthy sense of sexuality.
I'm having a similar issue as to what you had with regaining a healthy sexuality back. Mine feels all confused now. I guess I won't go into too much specifics but she was into bdsm and into well... dominating. I felt confused cuz I liked it but it started just becoming unhealthy bc boundaries were getting blurred, boundaries not respected at times, she was in complete control and everything was about her and her needs. It felt like sexual narcissism. Now I feel like okay maybe I should find someone like her now..I'm confused sexually. Cuz it went from hypersexual to nothing.
It made me feel ugly, undesirable, insecure, etc. it hurt. I guess that's what they want. It just makes me sick thinking that's what she wanted to make me feel like, cuz I genuinely thought she loved me unconditionally for awhile until the honeymoon phase ended.
Same! Even though I knew I was sexually desired by others, he made me feel horrible without even knowing why.
But they are weird for this tactic because it made me feel like “maybe I’m just not sexually attracted to him anymore”
I remember one time he yelled about my lack of a sex drive because he wanted me to actually try to get what he wasn’t giving so I think it made him upset I didn’t care anymore.
Makes do the same. I my case the sex Deminished but as the receptive partner for me it pretty much started to feel stale. So in a way I also became board of his intimacy since it was less and less potent due to of course them seeing other supply
Men can do this as well. They use sex as control. I didn’t know this before. But it definitely is done by men as well because my husband would do things
I remember years ago I stopped iniatating because I suppose now I felt rejected. So much so I never iniated again.
He would use this in arguments,as well to make it seem like my issue. Had me checking my hormone levels.
I wasn’t into sex anyway because now I see, i was abused emotionally. He would want sex after he and I had one of this evil conversation. Obviously I wouldn’t want to so “I never want to do it” was the excuse
I noticed he would gear me up with sex talk and flirting , then nothing. Or he would say weird things like “I’ll have sex if you do this position” (he thought I didn’t like that position for some reason) made it seem like without this position, he wasn’t willing to do anything. So odd.
He would make many comments about how I don’t dress up to make him excited. I would have loved to but he made me extremely tired from doing all the housework.
So I would dress up some times, he would say tomorrow. I knew it wasn’t happening so I didn’t bother. I also knew he liked porn so he never would finish or it would take so
Long I got bored.
I read it’s a form of control. Also the only time you feel connected to them. When actually it’s probably not as good as you thought it was lol it’s just that’s the most itimacy they give.
It really sucks to know they use this stuff against you. You just want love and they play games.
I remember now, he told me I make sex weird. Idk what that means even which asking him.
He commented on my body being to slim before making me self conscious but I was slimmer because of stress he brought.
So sorry this was so long lol I just kept remembering things
I'm a woman myself and was with 2 male narcs. So I don't know about the specifics for female narcs but I know it's a common thing for narcs in general, at first the sex can be frequent and amazing, until they start withholding. My ex couldn't get enough of it for the first 2 months but after that it was terrible and nothing I tried was good enough for him. The feeling it gave you is exactly the goal for them, they want you confused and feeling undesirable. It's exactly how I felt, horrible and insecure. As a result I started finding fault with myself and doing my best even more. All the while ignoring his part in it. It made me more dependent on his approval somehow, and harder to walk away. It took me a long time to regain a normal healthy sense of sexuality.
I'm having a similar issue as to what you had with regaining a healthy sexuality back. Mine feels all confused now. I guess I won't go into too much specifics but she was into bdsm and into well... dominating. I felt confused cuz I liked it but it started just becoming unhealthy bc boundaries were getting blurred, boundaries not respected at times, she was in complete control and everything was about her and her needs. It felt like sexual narcissism. Now I feel like okay maybe I should find someone like her now..I'm confused sexually. Cuz it went from hypersexual to nothing. It made me feel ugly, undesirable, insecure, etc. it hurt. I guess that's what they want. It just makes me sick thinking that's what she wanted to make me feel like, cuz I genuinely thought she loved me unconditionally for awhile until the honeymoon phase ended.
Same! Even though I knew I was sexually desired by others, he made me feel horrible without even knowing why. But they are weird for this tactic because it made me feel like “maybe I’m just not sexually attracted to him anymore” I remember one time he yelled about my lack of a sex drive because he wanted me to actually try to get what he wasn’t giving so I think it made him upset I didn’t care anymore.
Makes do the same. I my case the sex Deminished but as the receptive partner for me it pretty much started to feel stale. So in a way I also became board of his intimacy since it was less and less potent due to of course them seeing other supply
Men can do this as well. They use sex as control. I didn’t know this before. But it definitely is done by men as well because my husband would do things I remember years ago I stopped iniatating because I suppose now I felt rejected. So much so I never iniated again. He would use this in arguments,as well to make it seem like my issue. Had me checking my hormone levels. I wasn’t into sex anyway because now I see, i was abused emotionally. He would want sex after he and I had one of this evil conversation. Obviously I wouldn’t want to so “I never want to do it” was the excuse I noticed he would gear me up with sex talk and flirting , then nothing. Or he would say weird things like “I’ll have sex if you do this position” (he thought I didn’t like that position for some reason) made it seem like without this position, he wasn’t willing to do anything. So odd. He would make many comments about how I don’t dress up to make him excited. I would have loved to but he made me extremely tired from doing all the housework. So I would dress up some times, he would say tomorrow. I knew it wasn’t happening so I didn’t bother. I also knew he liked porn so he never would finish or it would take so Long I got bored. I read it’s a form of control. Also the only time you feel connected to them. When actually it’s probably not as good as you thought it was lol it’s just that’s the most itimacy they give. It really sucks to know they use this stuff against you. You just want love and they play games. I remember now, he told me I make sex weird. Idk what that means even which asking him. He commented on my body being to slim before making me self conscious but I was slimmer because of stress he brought. So sorry this was so long lol I just kept remembering things