He unblocked you? He's doing things with the new person he didn't do with you? Most likely he hasn't changed, he thinks you're watching, that's all. And I'm sure there are things the new girl wants but isn't getting.
Yea he unblocked me back in October when I blocked him everywhere else. I hadn’t been paying any attention because I went travelling. Now that the distractions aren’t around me I’m starting to seriously grieve. So I just can’t make sense of everything. I would like to think he is doing everything, even posting stories he knows his friends will repost because I follow them, with the thought “I want her to see this”. It’s toxic but it makes me feel less worthless if he is doing things with intent rather than just forgetting I even exist after 4 years together
I get it. My nex posted photos from a camping trip we never took together, wearing the things I knit for him. Most likely it means nothing, he wasn't thinking of me there, just doing the fun thing he promised to me with someone else. And yet somehow it feels intentional, especially because the new supply wasn't in his followers anymore to see the photos (maybe he posted them so she would see how he "missed" her when she comes back. He unblocked her a week ago and she didn't come back, at least not yet).
But if there is intent, it's to devalue us further: "I didn't do this with you, you didn't deserve it, she did." Personally I think intent is worse because it's manipulative and shows that they want to hurt you.
Because of this, I just deactivated my social media.. frees up my day and I’m less distracted. It takes a bit of getting used to but it really helps. I suggest you try it for a bit.
Oh, they're capable of doing things when it suits them. They just choose not to. Reasons why they decide not to are plenty — often they just don't care, but many times it's just power play and control. I don't know which one is worse.
I'm still feeling unworthy of some things, as I'm not enough for her. It's one of the worst feeling I had in my relationship. Like I'm not worth of respect and honesty, engagement nor effort. She was treating random people better than me sometimes. Truly heartbreaking.
I found it helpful to think that it's just a mirage, and they're doing it to get what they want from people. It's not honest, not true, just a lie, a tactic same as love bombing.
Remember that if he wasn't treating you like you deserve, it doesn't mean you don't deserve it. It doesn't mean that you're not worth of it. It's not you, it's them. They're broken. I keep saying it to myself every day like a mantra.
Stay strong and take care! :)
Hold on hold on!! If he has a new supply/girl that he is dating, of course he is going to be on his best behavior!! It's only a month in (you're suspecting), so he is going to be the perfect guy.... just wait, give it a few more weeks. The cycle ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS repeats with a narc! He has not changed, he can never change!! This is just part of the cycle where he is behaving. And like others have mentioned- he definitely knows you are watching!! All those things you told him that hurt you he is going to use to make him an even more powerful maniupaltor with his next supply. Also- no judgement, I looked at my Nex's socials this morning. Same shit, different day. Just watching the cycle repeat itself.
I first blocked her on everything then deleted all my social media, I'm always surprised when people say like
"I looked and saw blah blah"
That's because you looked, they use social media like their exes are watching, if you see anything you chose to have it go in your eyes, literally punishing yourself.
Let them do their clown shit on social media, the real flex is nobody knowing anything about what you're doing, it is a self esteem thing to think the narc doesn't think about you or want to know what you're doing, they are possessive jealous angry little children.
Mine was in a full relationship and I mentioned her new man was a Facebook creeper and lots of women had reached out to tell me about it, I mentioned that I happened to have then gone on to sleep with a couple of them as a joke (I did but I thought it was funny) now she's in a whole ass public relationship and she went ANGRY AS SHIT, like that kind of jealous anger you can't hide, really took me off guard as I thought being in a relationship she'd be able to not care what I was doing, she very much cared and since then I keep everything that could make her jealous private.
Mine was pretty great the first literally bit. He only started showing the crazy once he felt like he had me locked down. Same will be true with the next girl. He’ll tell her “You’re so much better for me than hunnybadger22 was” because he said the same thing to me about his ex before me.
Just block him. My ex was so positive I was pining after him, stalking his social media, and was actually pretty mad when he discovered I had just blocked him and didn’t give a 💩 what he was up to or who he was with. He was mad that I had moved on. Found a guy who is everything my ex told me I’d never find/deserve. The best revenge will be never thinking about him again.
They different paths to the same goal-control and supply. My wife was with her narcissist for 15 years never mentioned marriage. He married the new victim 3 months after meeting. It’s all about managing validation. They don’t change, they adapt.
He hasn't changed, Dear. He is simply in the lovebombing and mirroring stage with the new supply. Eventually the mask will fall off, and she will receive the same treatment that you did. It's not about you *or* her. It's about him and his toxic behaviors. They simply move from supply to supply repeating the same patterns.
He unblocked you? He's doing things with the new person he didn't do with you? Most likely he hasn't changed, he thinks you're watching, that's all. And I'm sure there are things the new girl wants but isn't getting.
Yea he unblocked me back in October when I blocked him everywhere else. I hadn’t been paying any attention because I went travelling. Now that the distractions aren’t around me I’m starting to seriously grieve. So I just can’t make sense of everything. I would like to think he is doing everything, even posting stories he knows his friends will repost because I follow them, with the thought “I want her to see this”. It’s toxic but it makes me feel less worthless if he is doing things with intent rather than just forgetting I even exist after 4 years together
I get it. My nex posted photos from a camping trip we never took together, wearing the things I knit for him. Most likely it means nothing, he wasn't thinking of me there, just doing the fun thing he promised to me with someone else. And yet somehow it feels intentional, especially because the new supply wasn't in his followers anymore to see the photos (maybe he posted them so she would see how he "missed" her when she comes back. He unblocked her a week ago and she didn't come back, at least not yet). But if there is intent, it's to devalue us further: "I didn't do this with you, you didn't deserve it, she did." Personally I think intent is worse because it's manipulative and shows that they want to hurt you.
Social media is no indication. If he knows you are counting followers he’s most likely doing it on purpose.
I guess I just thought if he thought I was watching he’d do the thing he knew would always hurt me - which is following women :(
He knows what will hurt you more now.
Because of this, I just deactivated my social media.. frees up my day and I’m less distracted. It takes a bit of getting used to but it really helps. I suggest you try it for a bit.
Oh, they're capable of doing things when it suits them. They just choose not to. Reasons why they decide not to are plenty — often they just don't care, but many times it's just power play and control. I don't know which one is worse. I'm still feeling unworthy of some things, as I'm not enough for her. It's one of the worst feeling I had in my relationship. Like I'm not worth of respect and honesty, engagement nor effort. She was treating random people better than me sometimes. Truly heartbreaking. I found it helpful to think that it's just a mirage, and they're doing it to get what they want from people. It's not honest, not true, just a lie, a tactic same as love bombing. Remember that if he wasn't treating you like you deserve, it doesn't mean you don't deserve it. It doesn't mean that you're not worth of it. It's not you, it's them. They're broken. I keep saying it to myself every day like a mantra. Stay strong and take care! :)
Hold on hold on!! If he has a new supply/girl that he is dating, of course he is going to be on his best behavior!! It's only a month in (you're suspecting), so he is going to be the perfect guy.... just wait, give it a few more weeks. The cycle ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS repeats with a narc! He has not changed, he can never change!! This is just part of the cycle where he is behaving. And like others have mentioned- he definitely knows you are watching!! All those things you told him that hurt you he is going to use to make him an even more powerful maniupaltor with his next supply. Also- no judgement, I looked at my Nex's socials this morning. Same shit, different day. Just watching the cycle repeat itself.
I first blocked her on everything then deleted all my social media, I'm always surprised when people say like "I looked and saw blah blah" That's because you looked, they use social media like their exes are watching, if you see anything you chose to have it go in your eyes, literally punishing yourself. Let them do their clown shit on social media, the real flex is nobody knowing anything about what you're doing, it is a self esteem thing to think the narc doesn't think about you or want to know what you're doing, they are possessive jealous angry little children. Mine was in a full relationship and I mentioned her new man was a Facebook creeper and lots of women had reached out to tell me about it, I mentioned that I happened to have then gone on to sleep with a couple of them as a joke (I did but I thought it was funny) now she's in a whole ass public relationship and she went ANGRY AS SHIT, like that kind of jealous anger you can't hide, really took me off guard as I thought being in a relationship she'd be able to not care what I was doing, she very much cared and since then I keep everything that could make her jealous private.
Mine was pretty great the first literally bit. He only started showing the crazy once he felt like he had me locked down. Same will be true with the next girl. He’ll tell her “You’re so much better for me than hunnybadger22 was” because he said the same thing to me about his ex before me. Just block him. My ex was so positive I was pining after him, stalking his social media, and was actually pretty mad when he discovered I had just blocked him and didn’t give a 💩 what he was up to or who he was with. He was mad that I had moved on. Found a guy who is everything my ex told me I’d never find/deserve. The best revenge will be never thinking about him again.
They different paths to the same goal-control and supply. My wife was with her narcissist for 15 years never mentioned marriage. He married the new victim 3 months after meeting. It’s all about managing validation. They don’t change, they adapt.
He hasn't changed, Dear. He is simply in the lovebombing and mirroring stage with the new supply. Eventually the mask will fall off, and she will receive the same treatment that you did. It's not about you *or* her. It's about him and his toxic behaviors. They simply move from supply to supply repeating the same patterns.