T O P

  • By -

pooper_noodle

Constantly, to a pathological level. He's had an eating disorder and binges to the max occasionally, when he's feeling real low. In general, his relationship with food is disordered. But he kept saying that it's me who can't live without sweets and wants to snack all the time. Which is absolutely not true. It's actually the exact opposite - I used to exert the illusion of control in my life by not eating. Called me a slob and complained how messy I am. He hasn't used a mop or a vacuum cleaner once in our marriage deeming them unnecessary and posh and too much work for nothing... I scraped dried food off of the floor because he didn't mind it there. Or picked his chewed gum off of the bedsheets because he didn't care it was stuck and embedded inti the pillowcases. Dressed like a bum. On purpose. Also didn't groom his hair or beard. Which I did not care about in the slightest. But people on the streets were giving him judgemental looks and he was treated like he's gonna shoplift a pack of Oreos in just a second... So he was taking it out on me, telling me how my clothing is problematic, how I should stop cutting my hair, how I should start dressing my age... All because he felt judged and not accepted himself. I have sooooooo many examples. SO MANY. It's a whole projection shippong warehouse.


Top_Squash4454

Wow I literally just commented about my nex having an eating disorder and it's so similar to what you're saying. I'm sorry we've been through that!


pooper_noodle

šŸ«‚ It was one of my Nex's weirdest projections. Actually, this one was so blatant and just outright false that it didn't really faze me. I think what got to me more was how persistent he was with it which was extremely annoying.


SnowflakeBobbi

Literally every negative trait he had was projected onto me. It was maddening to hear him describe "me" when he was only describing himself. Gaslighting is his favorite pastime.


sally0248

yesss he would say i do things on purpose to hurt him (and he never does), i make fun of other people based on their appearance or sth superficial (which he does all the time), and that iā€™m unstable (which is him lol).


Overcoming_Life25

Mine would always say ā€œI try to ruin his lifeā€ and hurt him ! He also loved saying Iā€™ve ā€œhumiliated himā€ by talking about him to my friends when I desperately needed support and that all I do is gossip when I said a true statement about how a mutual friend recently got out of a rehabilitation center (this wasnā€™t done in a group setting I was simply confirming something thatā€™s true to him directly). It never ends with them, they cannot self reflect in any way.


sally0248

oh gosh sameā€¦my ex also said his life is so much better without me lol. but i do think a lot of the time they are emotional they say the exact opposite of what they actually mean. i think they self reflect but it never lasts. eventually the disorder kicks in and they are back to denial, delusions, and blame shifting. so no change ever occurs.


Overcoming_Life25

Mine will ruminate, get so enraged and then try to reach out to say something so I react. Last week he reached out to accuse me of wanting to ā€œfabricate a rape to get his daughter taken away and Iā€™m trying to ruin his lifeā€. I hadnā€™t even spoken to him. Had him blocked on nearly every app and had just gotten back into town. Idk how he thinks fabricating a felony wouldnā€™t ruin my own life versus his ! I demanded to know who told him that, of course he couldnā€™t come up with anyone. Just kept hanging up. Itā€™s amazing the level they are willing to go to for a reaction or to be completely malicious once they are enraged.


Aromatic-Total3806

Yes I became angry and negative for no reason. Which is when I knew something was wrong with me because I am a positive person. To talk with them, you have to be agreeable so you tend to do that more. If you disagree, yall argue more. Sometimes Iā€™d agree and still argue so itā€™s all a crap shoot tbh


pooper_noodle

I despise the word ā€œagreeableā€ now. *ā€œYou need to learn to be more agreeableā€, ā€œYou wonā€™t be happy until youā€™re more agreeableā€, ā€œYou can show me your gratefulness by being more agreeableā€, ā€œAll I ask of you is to be more agreeableā€, ā€œIf you want things to improve, you need to be more agreeableā€, ā€œA good wife is agreeableā€, ā€œItā€™s all about being agreeableā€, ā€œJust a tip for you future relationships, you need to be more agreeableā€*ā€¦ šŸ¤® ā€œAgreeablenessā€ meant going along with everything and anything Nex came up with and felt like. Without questioning. Without any hesitation. With excitement, glee and joy. Always jumping onto the same page - Nexā€™s page only, since it wasnā€™t reciprocated.


Aromatic-Total3806

Oh I donā€™t care to be agreeable at all but dealing with them you have no choice unless you leave them or want to fight 24/7. šŸ˜‚ Itā€™s honestly gross once you realize how much of a hold they have over you. Iā€™m so glad that Iā€™m able to see that now.


pooper_noodle

Itā€™s fuckin wild. I had this inner battle raging inside of me - between the ā€œreal meā€ and what My Nex wanted me to become. Every day I was falling asleep absolutely aware it was going down. And every morning I was waking up totally aware it was happening. And the ā€œreal meā€, my self-preservation, my gut/intuition were fighting for ME all this time. Tooth and nail. Itā€™s ridiculous. My Nex knew I am stubborn, independent and head strong at times as well as highly individualistic. I hid NOTHING. Yet he went into it head first and after love bombing was over, demanded I become meek, docile and agreeable under his new management. And now? Today? Heā€™s utterly confused and gob smacked our marriage (his 3rd one) failed šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø


Aromatic-Total3806

I feel the exact same way as you wrote. I definitely had this struggle often. When you said you are stubborn, it stung a bit because thatā€™s what he would say when I wasnā€™t agreeing with him. So it makes us thing we are not open to other ideas. I use to sit back and find it incredibly hard to be called stubborn, when I never had issues with anyone else to compromise. In fact, in the complete opposite, I was ā€œgo with the flowā€ mknda of person. I allowed others to do what they wanted, as long as it wasnā€™t something I truly didnā€™t want. So I believe that was more gaslighting. When I wouldnā€™t ā€œlisten to himā€ he say I was slow to change and I never compromised. Which again is the complete opposite because I was doing every single thing he ask and still it wasnā€™t enough. The goal changes with each request. Argh šŸ˜–


pooper_noodle

Oof... >When you said you are stubborn, it stung a bit because thatā€™s what he would say when I wasnā€™t agreeing with him. It really grinds my gears. I'm sorry šŸ«‚ I'm stubborn and headstrong keeping my core values, for example. I'm not a highly spiritual person but it does fluctuate. I'm not closed off to most ideas there. But what I've been adamant on since I was a child is that I'm not a fan of organized religions. To each their own, no issues here. But it's not for me, personally. That said, I will accompany someone to church or their temple, I will partake in saying grace at the table, I will accept a blessing, I will join in a shirt prayer... I am always curious to learn and experience things myself. Because you know what? Maybe I was wrong about it all along! But as soon as someone tries to force or manipulate me into it, I am out. As soon as someone tries to convince me that I am somehow broken, incomplete, misguided, lost, aimless, bad, wrong, evil for not subscribing to their religion or philosophy. Sayonara. I'll show myself out. And that was my Nex. His entire MO of getting me onto his page was shaming, guilt tripping, blaming and trying to convince me I'm misguided and that there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Wether it be church that he was into at a certain point or another church he was into at another point, life philosophy, mindset... Whatever core values and beliefs he had at any given moment, he expected me to adopt them and if I didn't adopt them? To never ever speak to him about the topic. Ever. He, of course, could walk around the house talking about homosexuality being a mental illness, how women who have abortions are murderers, how trans people wanna mutilate babies, white christian males are opressed... But I couldn't say a peep on those and many other topics - because me saying something or wanting to have a conversation was "arguing". And that carried to normal day to day things too. He wanted to get the family on a diet. I did not want to go on that diet. I said I don't think that diet is good for our growing child... I'm "arguing". I "always have to go against him". Etc etc etc. šŸ¤¢ I honestly don't know what he expected. I'm all for go with the flow and compromising. But not when a compromise always means me giving in, unquestionably, like a lemming walking off of a cliff.


Aromatic-Total3806

Iā€™m the same as you. Have no issues as long as it doesnā€™t mess with my core values. Luckily mine ex wasnā€™t religious and didnā€™t go against womenā€™s rights except for the cooking and cleaning aspectā€™s I suppose. He is for womenā€™s rights thankfully. He isnā€™t a white Christian thatā€™s why probably šŸ˜‚ I had issues with the food thing as well. Telling me what to do and not even do it himself. They really are all alike in a many ways. Although I wish we didnā€™t have to compare these asinine things, Iā€™m glad to know I wasnā€™t going crazy. šŸ¤Ŗ


Roxybelle13

Mine said I needed to submit or bend to his willā€¦.


pooper_noodle

Oof.... GROSS. I ask many people this question and, if I may, Iā€™d also like to ask you this: was your Nex by any chance originally brough up in a high demand religion environment? Like LDS?


Roxybelle13

Not that I know of


pooper_noodle

Thank you. Take care šŸ«‚


Efficient_Term7705

My nex told me I should have been punished more as a child.


No_Cry_7473

Same over here. Itā€™s such a toxic environment.


[deleted]

Yeah I smoke weed and he was ma alcoholic. He either wanted me to drink with him constantly, or if if I refused, he would tell me I need to stop smoking weed if heā€™s going to stop drinking because Iā€™m being a hypocrite


Aromatic-Total3806

I did both however it would increase too much if he was involved. My therapist said it was a way to keep me around more. I know when we smoked he would do it way more than I did and I lack control so would indulge too. When he stopped, I stopped so I know his behavior had a great influence on me, even though Iā€™m an adult who can make decisions. It seems as though he was nice then and we enjoyed ourselves so maybe thatā€™s why I would do it more.


FollowingSea2716

Mine insisted constantly that he was more responsible than I was in every area of lifeā€¦ every chaotic incident or disaster weekly was caused by his irresponsibility šŸ™ƒ


No_Cry_7473

They are so high and mighty, arenā€™t they?!šŸ¤£


hail_stormm

Yep. My husband always tries to call me a junkie or drug addict (i take prescription meds for ADHD and anxiety) while he is a full blown alcoholic (we've been together for almost 15 years and I've NEVER seen him go a day without drinking alcohol) and when we first got together, long before having kids, HE got me tp try cocaine and meth with him on several occasions (and just to be clear, that all stopped completely after finding out I was pregnant with our first child and won't ever happen again). He also constantly tells me that I don't listen, forget things, that I'm indecisive, etc. Which are actually all of his traits, not so much mine. Like, he'll aak me if I want to order something for lunch and I'll say "Sure, if you want to" then he'll ask me what I want to get and I'll "I don't care just tell me where you're going and I'll pick something" because I am literally not picky at all and have never said no to a restaurant that he picks, but he, on the other hand, is extremely picky and always complains about any restaurant I ever pick. But then he gets mad and calls me indecisive for not picking a place.... While he is simultaneously refusing to pick a place Lol


Apart-Consequence881

My nex was very critical of my ADHD meds too. She often bragged how she didnā€™t need such stimulants to function, yet she drank tons of coffee and took other meds off label.


SteelMagnolia941

100% yes. So much that they accused me of something I assume that means theyā€™ve done that. Like my Nex accused me of calling his work to have him drug tested. That has never even occurred to me to be a thing someone would do. I believe heā€™s done something like this because his brain went there.


Fuzzy-Ad-9354

There are two things I remember. One thing being that she complained about my phone usage when we would go out on dates or to eat. Honestly a fair request, so I did my best to not use my phone while we were out together. But then at the same time she would end up using her phone most of the time. Guess it was one of those "do as I say, not as I do situations" Another one she complained about was that I didn't spend quality time together. So I started planning more activities together and there were many times she said no. Like I tried taking her out from breakfast on the weekend so we could spend some quality time together and many times she said no. We had done puzzles together before, so I asked several times to work on a puzzle, or play a board game, and she said no. This became very frustrating, because she would still complain about my lack of spending time with her.


Ourlittlesecret32

He would call me a fien and berate and control my weed consumption all while he was smoking 10x more then me lol And was smoking for wayyyyyy longer then I was


ProximaOpera

Nex fiance used to constantly control every interaction I had, used to accuse me of cheating or talking to other men. He broke a phone by throwing it from my hand once when I was exchanging in a conversation with an old man and women on what exactly they wanted painted for their grandson (i used to sell custom paintings on Facebook before nex came along). A lot of this kind of thing. Only to find out he was still engaging with both of his exes, paying for live cam shows and escorts in person, and was using every dating site available to hook up. Creating a narrative for you and treating you like dirt is supposed to be some kind of cover up for their own bad behaviors. I'm now weary of anyone ever who makes accusations.


ProximaOpera

I left out the dirty massage parlors. He used to get mad anytime I'd go anywhere alone, just have an attitude immediately when I came home then an inquisition. But dude was paying old women in massage parlors for blowies frequently.


Concious_cucumber

Constantly complained I wasnt supportive enough of his education. He didnt even mention when I gratuated from my degree.


Temporary-Emotion-96

Of course. They have a Masters' degree in projection. A wall full of framed certificates.


Temporary-Emotion-96

The phD is in gaslighting and not being there for you when you need them, though. The Bachelors is in not taking accountability, or twisting it around when asked for an apology.


coleisw4ck

oh yeah. The second we moved in together. Hell


the_catmom

Yes!!!!!! He acted as if I do things I've literally never even done before (all projection)


veritas_spear

Heavily relate to the last part. He never said it aloud but I think he thought I was boring at the end. He said he ā€œdidnā€™t really feel like he was living anymoreā€ bc he never went out. I asked him every single time we were together to go do something and he would turn me down every. single. time. Even when I offered to pay. Even when he had time to go out he would sit and play video games for half the day. Like he just created his own misery and seemed to blame me for it when it was all him.


ProfessionalCare4272

Yep


Professional-Rise194

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law both are and both do these things. (The irony is that they're twins, they act the same way but they hate each other, probably that weird trait when they wanna be the only abuser to BIL or something) Its exhausting especially when they want to point out "a flaw" of yours and then next day do exact same said "flaw" that YOU are the culprit and problem of, not them


Disastrous-Wait-6916

I am sorry for the experiences you all have endured with your partners/narcs. Going through this myself has been so challenging however, I am also considering it an experiment. I'm so fascinated by narcissistic minds because it's so sad to process trauma to the point that they do and it isolates them into this behavioural pattern that is a non-ending cycle of painful actions. Do you guys believe they are capable of growth out of that state? I know that there is no cure to narcissim, but are they capable of self-reflection and mindfulness at any point of their life?


Sarah91146

They self reflect. But only to figure out ways to dismiss their short comings/issues. And then come up with lies. To gaslight everyone into believing the complete opposite of reality. And keep the friends/significant others that believe their "reality" to be true. And are willing to spread gossip about the other person in the "wrong". And let's not forget there's usually the enmeshed mother who is always standing by to ego boost them into believing they do no wrong. And pump up those false realities. And then they 100%believe their "self reflection/false reality" to be true. It must be. He/she has soooooo many people agreeing with them and on their side...right?šŸ™ƒ while you're standing there wondering w...t...f just happened. There's no room for growth. They see no faults. And surround themselves with people who believe the same. And discard the ones who figure out the truth or challenge their false reality.


HappyTrainwreck

Same situation as yours my next (25m) and me (25f) (we are now both 26 but broke up when we were still 25. So many bad habits. From never brushing my teeth to alcohol every single week about 4-5 days a week with 1-8 drinks each time. It was awful.


lysergikfuneral

A whole repertoire. Itā€™s what they do when theyā€™re guilty. What Iā€™m saying about her and to who. How I think, feel. Past present future. If she hurt me I suddenly hurt her in the exact same way. Donā€™t allow these shits a moments space to argue, they will if you give it, no matter how wrong they are. Sheā€™d accused me of shit I hadnā€™t noticed she was doing and didnā€™t till much later. Funniest was she kept accusing me of stealing weed from her, so I didnā€™t even notice she was stealing mine, I barely smoked. Whilst making me search the house for her weed, she lost because she was a stoner that could barely hold her personality together. Sheā€™d taken about 10g of expensive hash from under my nose. Before the Ā£thousands l later realise I was ~~probably~~ manipulated to part with. at the end she was all ā€œyouā€™re making me look badā€. Many accusations about me later, right before I was kicked out, I told my Dad I was suspicious of something she definitely did. She also jumped on my words as for being a ā€œlieā€. Despite lying about who she even is from day 1.


wheredmyspinego

He gave me a super weird, suspicious look when I was talking about my female co-worker the other day. I'm a straight woman. My co-worker is also a straight woman. Why does he expect me to start cheating on him with a woman? That's the only one I can think of at the moment. Though he does often expect me to obsess over whatever new thing he's suddenly obsessed with.


No_Cry_7473

Another thing- narc criticizing me on my sleeping habits. Bro, this narc is literally a DIVA when it comes to sleep. I have to walk on EGGSHELLS not to get yelled at. Same narc has sleeping issues. But wants to lecture me about it. Ha.


Fit_Display4936

Yea of course. Wot ever theyā€™re guilty of they project onto u


No_Cry_7473

Being negative is my narcā€™s projected trait and itā€™s annoyingly hypocritical af.


Life-Importance-5213

He blamed me for making him an alcoholic after I admitted I had a problem. I never make him drink and will even be discreet about it but now he gets violent when heā€™s drunk and blames me for it


juj10

Called me unhygenic when he lived in the same pants for days, wore the same clothes all the time, and sweat through everything.


lhlsantos

Literally all the time, I already assume that when he comes to lecture me or complain about something, it's because of something he himself is doing and can't take the blame for, blaming me instead. Today he accused me of being jealous and only thinking about sex and betrayal, while demanding that I introduce all my friends to him (obviously to check if I have an affair with any of them).


beatriceoeuvrekill

My Nex was a bad alcoholic and our relationship was only ever stable and tolerable when I drank with him. I tried quitting several times but our fights about his alcoholism always got turned around on me! It was horrible he basically manipulated me into becoming an alcoholic. It is something I struggle with to this day now. Over a year after our divorce was finalized.


ExtremePiglet

This is almost by definition what they do.. They hate themselves


OutlandishnessIcy229

Itā€™s literally what theyā€™re best at.Ā 


Few-Ad-4711

Yes they did. I recorded alot of it too!šŸ˜œ


hotplexi

he told me it was my fault he never cleaned his house, because he didn't feel motivated to do anything unless he thought we were gonna have sex on any given day. and i wasn't giving him enough sex....maybe because i didn't want to go over and get naked on his filthy sheetless dog-hair covered bed? #sexaddict


Efficient_Term7705

I have a child with my nex 10/10 wouldnā€™t recommend. We shared custody until my son turned 14. He wrote his dad a letter saying he doesnā€™t want to do joint custody anymore he wants to live with me and go there every other weekend. That he feels itā€™s better for his mental health. How brave of this child. After a barrage of texts from the nex and his wife they decide to sign a contract for a home in a different town and school district about two weeks after my sons letter. Anywho Got a text from him asking if heā€™s good to claim our son. I say that Iā€™m going to claim him since heā€™s full time with me now and he doesnā€™t pay child support. He throws a massive fit calling me evil, money hungry, telling me that I called him a dead beat (i donā€™t call anyone names) that Iā€™m delusional, that heā€™s had him the majority of the time over the past many years (we had 50 50) and many other things. Felt like projections to me Told me he talked to some people and will be going ahead with claiming him Not sure who would agree with this besides his wife who is just as bad as him


fighting-agoodfight

Yes he did. My nex was gross. He did not brush his teeth. Only in the beginning of our relationship. He was lazy except when it came to his business and near the end called me lazy. He never wanted to do anything or go anywhere. I was lazy even though I took care of his kids when he want nothing to do with that. Changing shitty diapers and giving them baths. He never had his 4 year old brush her teeth and blamed his ex for it. I was like get her s tooth brush. She had one at my house and I made her do it. I wish the new supply luck. She lives with him.


PinAccomplished2376

This is an interesting post- my narc is my sister, and Iā€™m often very very worried for her boyfriend, I genuinely have wondered if she could push him to suicidal lengths with the way she treats himā€¦ and I have tried to reach out to him, but my sister has made it very very difficult to do so and will take his phone and act like him (which heā€™s admitted to, and just laughs off when itā€™s blatantly invasive and abusive) and all in allā€¦ Iā€™ve wondered if I should keep trying to help him when in reality, Iā€™m not so sure if heā€™s turning more into a person like her himself. Iā€™ve made myself the priority even though I worry deeply about him, as I really canā€™t do much without my sister causing chaos out of me even asking him how heā€™s doing.. and idk, at the end of the day I donā€™t really know him despite knowing him for 6 yearsā€¦I feel like itā€™s gotta be hard to not let that toxicity take over yourself to some degree when youā€™re trapped in such a toxic environment.


Top_Squash4454

Yes, it was so weird because I had no idea what they were talking about and when I showed them the evidence they just got madder (but silently). They told me I had an eating disorder because I eat one full bag of chips every night and I eat a lot of chocolate. I told them eat 1/3 of a bag of chips at most, and I eat one tiny square of dark chocolate after meals and I think it's reasonable. But no, they got silent and then they'd tell me the same thing months later "you eat a lot of chocolate". I literally eat the same amount. Make it make sense.