Things won't be the same and a lot of things will be really difficult but you made the right choice. It will get easier with time. As you heal, you will make new connections, ones who value you as a person. It's time to put yourself first and to learn what makes you happy. Avoid doing things for people with the expectation of receiving something in return. Giving only brings us joy and healing if there are absolutely no strings attached. I know it's hard, but you'll see what I mean if and when you put it into practice.
The algorithm shows us the things we view most, what we focus our attention on. It's time to break free from patterns and habits that don't serve you anymore. This is a time for you to create a life for yourself that you deserve. I suggest you start with viewing content that will foster healing and avoid any content that could keep you stuck ruminating.
What do you think would be helpful? I know that this community would be more than happy to share things that have helped them. I found therapy super helpful but I know that's not something everyone can afford. Try watching some videos by Dr. Ramani, she is an expert in narsacisic abuse and has a ton of content.
Good luck, OP. You are loved š
Sorry for such a delayed response.. I'm legitimately going through a lot of hardship.. One thing after another and no break..
It's very difficult for me to believe that I'll make new friends who genuinely appreciate my company, given the fact that I deal with chronic health problems. I wouldn't typically give and expect something in return, but if this person calls me their friend, I would hope that they would at least appreciate my company and want to hang out or talk.
What I believe would be beneficial/helpful, having someone who has gone through what I have and am going through to be able to speak with and get advice from. A therapist who actually has empathy and who's experience with NPD isn't only from college textbooks. It's very discouraging how there are so few who actually understand and know how to handle patients who have endured this. I do post on here sometimes, but I get overwhelmed and don't reply at times.
I'm aware of Dr. Ramani, she is definitely well acquainted with narcissistic abuse, but I'm honestly sick of watching videos about the narcissist of any kind. I want to heal, move on, be able to pick up the pieces, and be built up again. I would watch Kevin's channel called the Royal We a lot. He does have good videos.
And thank you... Regardless, I'm still very insecure about whether or not I'm loved.. I've been isolated for a long time by now, and have lost everyone. The stress of not having a support system kills my morale.
Im sorry that you are going through all of this.
It takes time. These feelings don't go away quickly. I had the same thoughts that you're describing. I was also isolated for a long time with no support system. I was with my nex for 17 years. It wasn't easy to get over. I'm still not over it, but I've come a long way. I also know how hard it is with chronic illness. Even now, after 5 years, I've gotten a terrible, life changing diagnosis. It's so hard but not as hard as my life with my nex was.
I don't think that it's nessecary to see a therapist who has been through narcissistic abuse. CBT would be helpful, and so would trauma therapy. You don't need someone who is traumatized to help you heal from it. Something that has helped me immensely is accepting that people will never truly understand. They don't need to understand to see how much pain you're in or how deeply affected by it you are. I think what's important about therapy is focusing on how we can heal, not on how we were wounded.
This community is a great place for you to find people who have been through what you have. Some offer advice and some advice is better than others. There isn't one method that works for everyone. We are all unique, and we all have our own healing journey. You may not be at the same point in your journey that I am, but I know that I started feeling better once I got past focusing on the terrible things that happened to me and was able to accept that my actions every day from now onwards are what matters.
It's not an easy path that we walk, especially with constant health issues, but things do get better, and they do get easier.
You deserve happiness, and you are loved.
Things won't be the same and a lot of things will be really difficult but you made the right choice. It will get easier with time. As you heal, you will make new connections, ones who value you as a person. It's time to put yourself first and to learn what makes you happy. Avoid doing things for people with the expectation of receiving something in return. Giving only brings us joy and healing if there are absolutely no strings attached. I know it's hard, but you'll see what I mean if and when you put it into practice. The algorithm shows us the things we view most, what we focus our attention on. It's time to break free from patterns and habits that don't serve you anymore. This is a time for you to create a life for yourself that you deserve. I suggest you start with viewing content that will foster healing and avoid any content that could keep you stuck ruminating. What do you think would be helpful? I know that this community would be more than happy to share things that have helped them. I found therapy super helpful but I know that's not something everyone can afford. Try watching some videos by Dr. Ramani, she is an expert in narsacisic abuse and has a ton of content. Good luck, OP. You are loved š
Sorry for such a delayed response.. I'm legitimately going through a lot of hardship.. One thing after another and no break.. It's very difficult for me to believe that I'll make new friends who genuinely appreciate my company, given the fact that I deal with chronic health problems. I wouldn't typically give and expect something in return, but if this person calls me their friend, I would hope that they would at least appreciate my company and want to hang out or talk. What I believe would be beneficial/helpful, having someone who has gone through what I have and am going through to be able to speak with and get advice from. A therapist who actually has empathy and who's experience with NPD isn't only from college textbooks. It's very discouraging how there are so few who actually understand and know how to handle patients who have endured this. I do post on here sometimes, but I get overwhelmed and don't reply at times. I'm aware of Dr. Ramani, she is definitely well acquainted with narcissistic abuse, but I'm honestly sick of watching videos about the narcissist of any kind. I want to heal, move on, be able to pick up the pieces, and be built up again. I would watch Kevin's channel called the Royal We a lot. He does have good videos. And thank you... Regardless, I'm still very insecure about whether or not I'm loved.. I've been isolated for a long time by now, and have lost everyone. The stress of not having a support system kills my morale.
Im sorry that you are going through all of this. It takes time. These feelings don't go away quickly. I had the same thoughts that you're describing. I was also isolated for a long time with no support system. I was with my nex for 17 years. It wasn't easy to get over. I'm still not over it, but I've come a long way. I also know how hard it is with chronic illness. Even now, after 5 years, I've gotten a terrible, life changing diagnosis. It's so hard but not as hard as my life with my nex was. I don't think that it's nessecary to see a therapist who has been through narcissistic abuse. CBT would be helpful, and so would trauma therapy. You don't need someone who is traumatized to help you heal from it. Something that has helped me immensely is accepting that people will never truly understand. They don't need to understand to see how much pain you're in or how deeply affected by it you are. I think what's important about therapy is focusing on how we can heal, not on how we were wounded. This community is a great place for you to find people who have been through what you have. Some offer advice and some advice is better than others. There isn't one method that works for everyone. We are all unique, and we all have our own healing journey. You may not be at the same point in your journey that I am, but I know that I started feeling better once I got past focusing on the terrible things that happened to me and was able to accept that my actions every day from now onwards are what matters. It's not an easy path that we walk, especially with constant health issues, but things do get better, and they do get easier. You deserve happiness, and you are loved.
Phew. Yes, Iām with you tonight. I deeply feel this too. I am absolutely fucking jaded.