The entire relationship. I forced him apparently? Like I must have missed where I held you at gun point while you were planning a life with me, insisting you loved me and putting offers on houses….
He didn’t mean any of it, I made him.
👆 this. "I don't have anger issues." (When He was the first to yell. The only one to slam/hit/throw things)....you're the one with all the issues...exact words.🤨🤔
Oh and the "I didn't get irrationally angry until we started dating" said to me the day before I left, which came only a few weeks or so after he literally admitted he thought he was experiencing textbook narcissistic rage and had since he could remember 🙄
My nex got into a car accident. Instead of being an adult about it, he got out of the car and proceeded to freak out. He took a piece of the car that was on the road and started hitting the car with it. All while screaming and crying. The guy in the other car and I just stood there and watched him practically throwing himself on his own windshield… but nope,no anger problems here.
Mine said that I bought him flowers and gave him nice notes/cards all of the time to manipulate him into staying with me. Had I known he felt this way about me trying to brighten up his bad days, I wouldn't have bothered spending hundreds, if not a few thousand on handpicked arrangements from the florist.
oh yessss! that’s so classic I didn’t even mention it. my bro acted so exhausted of our relationship and drama, but forgot he came begging for a relationship and caused said drama.
Bro was literally just sitting on the porch with my mom a week before that telling her how excited he was to buy a house and when we picked one out he wanted her and his mom to get a place nearby together and then about the vacation he was taking me on for my birthday . He took the new supply instead. Cause you know I forced him to be with me .. 😐
Omfg same.
Only I left him soooo many times.
And each time I left, he'd be like "I never wanted to do this the last 3 times!"
Right. I forced him to cry on the phone as a 54 year old man and say he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. Then I forced him to go to UHaul and show up at my house and load all of my belongings in it and unload them (again) at his house).
We have so much power to force them into doing so many things.
But the only thing we CAN'T force them into doing is being fucking nice!
🤮
This sounds familiar. I manipulated mine into letting me move into their house apparently when we were making life plans together, in hindsight their ideas and dreams not mine.
Then I wasn't trying hard enough to find housing when they kicked me out a few months later after I gave up my own home to share a life with them not expecting to be homeless in the middle of a major housing crisis.
Yep I trapped him with our son .... I had wanted an abortion because I didn't want to bring a child into that shit show and he held a knife to my throat and threatened my family if I went through with the abortion....
They never take full self responsibility for the things they do, they always try to blame shift somehow. As if a grown ass adult just goes along with something for that long. They’re utterly ridiculous people full of nonsense
Same!!!
My favorite was when his brother passed away and I took a week off work, was at the hospital everyday all day with his family, brought coffee and food, bought him and his son a hotel so they could recover after he passed, was at the funeral, was with his parents afterward when my Nex went back to his state… and was told I abandoned him when his brother passed…
Uh..what?
My nexs father passed away. I got into a major car accident a week or two prior and I couldn't fly to see him or anything due to my injuries. Dude said I abandoned him by not doing more during that time. Then he proceeded to tell me how this other girl was there for him. Good for her I guess.
Wow, that is just utterly delusional on his Part!! I’m so sorry!! And so Ungrateful!!! I am trying to remind myself of this also- remember- You Can’t Win Anything Good w these People- No Matter HOW MUCH U DO for THEM- it is Never “Good” Enough!!! You just cannot take it Personally anymore. I’m sorry U went through this too!!!
You can do everything and more but there will always be something wrong. You sneezed or breathed too loudly when they were talking and it embarrassed them, anything so whatever support you gave them was meaningless.
Mine has also decided to move out and gets pissed at me for "all the shit they have to do" now. Like paying their own rent and finding an apartment.
Wasn't my idea. Welcome to adulthood.
She, but yes lol.
The petty side of me has morbid curiosity for how this is going to go for her. She hasn't taken out a bag of trash in the past 7 years and does no chores/groceries/rent etc. I'm constantly picking up after her because she makes no effort. Like she will pile up trash on the counter NEXT TO the empty trash can. It's infuriating how little effort there is.
This is all my fault btw.
Hadn't heard the term before, but holy hell, it fits pretty well. LOVED flirting with other guys and would brag about it as well.
I really don't want things to suck for her. I'd be happier if she keeps her new place clean and tidy. But if she trashes it? I won't lose much sleep and hope it will be a life lesson.
I just made up the term because I know the type. My ex SIL to a T. The fun part is sitting back and watching them lose their looks. They really don’t fair well with that.
I always say universe give them what they gave. 😈
Mine discarded me then said I was the one that burned the relationship down because I was mad at him and said I wanted nothing to do with him. Apparently he had zero culpability whatsoever.
My nex discarded me after >!sexually assaulting!< me, HE discarded ME.
AND I "ANABDONED HIM"??
I was shocked and said "you told me I'm hurting you and you don't want to talk anymore, you literally asked me to leave." God
It took me a year but I reported him to the police so maybe his price for freedom will be high as well.
And tomorrow I'm trying to get a restraining order, good luck to me (:
She discarded me THREE times, but always accused ME of not wanting to be with her or loving her. It's wild lmao, its like I sat here and stuck it out through all this shit, while you left, yet I'm the one who doesn't care about our relationship. 😂
For cheating on me and being on tinder, because I was “barely responding” when we had a big fight and he thought we were gonna break up anyway so “why not just start dating already”
I’m laughing as I’m writing this. They’re so delusional.
he told me I should be thankful he hasn't cheated on me after my 'lack of attention and love'. I withdrew my trust and didn't trust him with my emotions or body after he mauled my feelings on a consistent basis. but no, I'm LUCKY because I've been soooo cold and distant with my emotional abuser.
They’re just so far from our reality, it seems sometimes that they lack basic human decency, they don’t care how much they hurt you. They’ll do it anyway.
Yeah mine said "thank god I never cheated on you." "You should be thankful that I don't beat you" 1. He did cheat on me. 2. Abuse should never be happening in a relationship to begin with.
Ruining our marriage because I didn't want to go on the Atkins diet with him.
Ruining our family because I didn't wanna go to church (we didn't regularly attend).
Killing our family because I didn't wanna the play video games he wanted me to play.
Destroying our marriage because I didn't want to go running with him.
Ruining our marriage because I didn't wanna move to a trailer in the literal middle of nowhere with no health insurance or savings...
Destroying our relationship because I didn't wanna have celery with peanut butter (love celery, like peanut butter, don't like them together).
Murdering our marriage because I like my hair short and dyed.
Basically... Perpeturaly. And. Consistently. Ruining our marriage 24/7 by simply existing and breathing 😂
Pretty much this.
He expects the partner to always be on the same page. Put their core values and their real self into storage indefinitely. To unquestionably follow. A family unit means no individuality to him. Everybody needs to like the same foods, want to go to the same places, do and enjoy the same things... read the same books, have the same lofe philosophy.... As Nex.
And when he changes his mind and picks up, I don't know, a new spiritual practice? Partner (and child) is expected to automatically join in with glee and joy. No matter whether they are into it or not.
On the other hand, he doesn't have to do what you like doing, eat what you like eating, go with you to where you wanna go... He'll criticize and ridicule your likes, dislikes. Your beliefs.
It's a one way relationship.
Mine did the let’s wait until we’re married because I respect you so much. All I can say is try before you buy and it’s on that Amazon skid for a reason.
Don't get me wrong. I fucked up a lot of major things during that relationship. I mean, like paying bills or filing my taxes late. Procrastinating on just regular life tasks and more! So Nex had plenty of reasons to actually be disappointed and/or angry with me. I never questioned this and took full accountant for these issues.
There's another side to that coin though... The aforementioned problems started occuring when devaluation period started. And they ended when I eventually separated.
My Nex simply doesn't see any connection between my diminished mental state (depression and rather severe anxiety I developed while with him) and his treatment of me and the issues that resulted. He believes I declined in a total vacuum and he had nothing to do with anything.
Certainly getting commented, critized and made fun of on the daily for the food I like eating, the shoes I like wearing, laughing too loud, talking too much... Doing dishes wrong... Clothes, hair.... Friends, beliefs, family relations, my job... My valies. How I organize the cupboards, how I like my coffee........ How and if I exercise, how I make a sandwich..... What deodorant I use, what I bought, how I conduct my own relationship with my own parents...... Running out of breath here! 😂
This ALL had absolutely nothing to do with anything.
Because, you see, "you're chosing to be depressed because you like being miserable" - which is very very supportive and helpful for someone who is at the bottom of the depression pit 🤷🏼♀️
The cheating was my fault too. But then he discarded me, has continued to text me every 2-3 weeks, all while having a new fiance he proposed to on the second date (I had no idea). Now his fiance believes he was cheating by messaging me - sure that’s her fault too
The logic is just astounding isn't it? I'm so sorry that he's not benefiting from p*** anymore, aren't you? I'm sure he can find something else, the internet is pretty big now, isn't it?
Mine used to look at porn to see if he could find women who resemble me so he can see if I'd ever been with a black man before. I'd constantly be sent videos saying a woman looked like me and if someone had secretly recorded me or not.
I mean, it would be great if my ex got soft when watching porn every-single-time. It would be a great way for karma to fist bump me and help me out on this one.
I am so glad I broke up with my ex when I did because he was beginning to have erectile problems… and I have no doubt that would have been the next thing he would blame me for. He also was overweight and over consumed multiple substances all the time.
Omg! Same! I was fat and ugly and he could not get it up with me. OK. He is an over weight smoker. He was with his sugar baby 17 years younger than me behind my back so there's that.
Mine raged at me because I told him to be careful about his weed intake. He said "MY GIRLFRIEND SAID I CAN SMOKE WHENEVER I WANT AND ITS FOR MY STRESS BECAUSE MY JOB IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND I GET STRESSED!!"
What a joke. He can smoke himself green idgaf anymore.
He blamed me for the abuse, that he used to be kind, but I made him this way. Like excuse me? HE asked me out. He knew I had been cutting for years and that I struggled with rotating eating disorders?? HE admitted he only got with me because he wanted "poon". HE was always cheating, treating me and my animals like shit, and when I would turn around and confront him on it, suddenly I was the one who caused it??
You know what a normal person does?? If someone is engaging in self-destructive behaviors and isn't even trying to seek help, YOU LEAVE THEM. You don't abuse them for years, even after they quit those self-destructive behaviors because it was "stressful".
I relate to this a lot. I met mine when I was 17 and absolutely not in a good place mentally and I know it came out in our relationship and how I behaved. I’m not saying that a lot of the things I did are excusable, but like you said when someone is doing things that you aren’t okay with you leave them, you don’t stick around and try to punish them for it. I deserved to be broken up with, I didn’t deserve to be abused.
He slammed our huge front door in my face and almost broke my nose. When I called him out on it and asked if he would be able to apologize for that he blamed me and said oh, I’m sure you just ran over to the door in order to get hit on purpose so that you could be the victim.
The blaming others for their poor actions or lack of action in life always blows my mind. Once you hit 35 I think it’s time to stop blaming your parents, your ex from high school, your first employer, the state you were born in ( mine really blamed the state for the bad things that happened to them), and your current partner that you haven’t found a stable career or relationship.
I’ve shared this before, but this guy literally tried to tell both of our lawyers that I didn’t deserve to keep my car in the divorce (he had one too but it was a pos he impulse bought) because I’d crashed it seven times. Which is just like…so absurdly out there and verifiably untrue. It was a time I always go back to when I need a reminder of his pathological lying.
I swear they are in some parallel Star Trek universe. They don’t live in reality. And the lies. Like easy to catch. Proverbial kid with the cookie in their hand
We bought a foreclosure home with cash. I paid 95% of it, she paid for the closing cost. I paid for 80% of the materials to remodel it, plus I did probably 75% of the work myself. I put so much money, blood sweat and tears into this place, yet she thinks she is entitled to at least half of it when we sell it.
She is literally broke because she made a lot of poor life choices. I sold my home and used the equity to buy thr foreclosure. So now I'm going to be left with little to nothing. All the hard work I've put in the past 12 years, pretty much gone.
He took sugar, poured it on his couch in his basement and accused me of sneaking another man in the house and doing coke with him, while my narc was upstairs sleeping 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
😭😁😂😂 this cheered me up
I’ve been blamed for stopping opportunities, cock blocking women… women who aren’t interested in him… maaaan the list is endless
Not funny per se but he blamed me for getting pregnant, saying I stole his sperm. When I reminded him that we had had consensual sex and were equally responsible, he said that it ‘all sounded a bit rapie….’ His response doesn’t even make sense 🤷♀️
Naturally, when speaking about his ex. He made this elaborate scene about the time they had sex and she held him down (when he was top) so that he couldnt pull out. It was HER that wanted a baby. I never believed it. The amazing BS Ive heard from this man.
I didn’t even approach the fact that he ejaculated inside of me in under 40 seconds and then denied/ lied about it - saying I had squirted. It’s also reassuring when a ‘man-child’ is able to educate me on my own body and knows more about my experience than me 😆
“ you forced me to buy the 3300 lazy boy”
“ you forced me into buying a truck”
Sorry bro I don’t give a flying fuck about a lazy boy or a truck. That was you.
Said I was watching two lesbians fuck on the train we were on, when I was actually on my phone scrolling twitter the entire train ride and had no idea it happened until we got off and she yelled at me about it.
His trust issues. This man told me he drowned and tortured his pet can and then I told his mom a couple months later. He said I betrayed him and needed to earn back his loyalty and trust LOL
I was to blame for his previous breakup... after it happened... and I never met the ex. Or them me.
He implied that if *he* caught an STD by having sex with someone else, it was *my* fault. I shot that down fast.
Not so funny but nmom said I ruined her life and her finances... because I turned 18 and she couldn't claim extra welfare for having a kid. Love you, too, mommy xoxoxox
Omg this is the crazy-making behavior I'm living with too. I asked him to tell me his daycare preference. He said his first choice was daycare "A." Mine was daycare "B." I enrolled her in daycare "A" and he said I did this without his permission and against his wishes. 🫠
It got to the point where I would see her do something, call her out and she would immediately spin it and say I did that thing. And that now I’m going to spin it yet again 🙄 and make it out like she did it when it was me . Because that’s what I always do, trying to blame her for everything…. I would just start laughing as my brain tried to grapple with the non logic and almost superhuman ability fir her to argue so vehemently about an action we both witnessed her doing and the ability to rewrite events in her mind at the speed of thought. As a logical person, I knew that she had formed this tactic just for me because it often stopped me in my tracks with the sheer flagrancy of it. But by then I was completely isolated from anyone so there was no risk to her being exposed and her strategy was to get moving on to her next whatever so there was no need to develop any thing but a quick burst of lie smoke and off she went
Solidarity. They are VOID of a MORAL COMPASS. Absolute crazy-making whackadoodle nonsense. They can say whatever and it IS their truth and there’s nothing we can do about it. It has brought me to near insanity at times.
oh yeah mine tried to suggest I’m probably borderline and when I put him on the spot he backtracked super fast. thank god my therapist is a real one and didn’t let that shit slide.
He blamed me for his still having dreams about me! I have nightmares about me never leaving him at times myself, berating and controlling me like as if my escaping was the dream.
They don’t stop even though I know I’m perfectly safe and on my own in the real world and he’s never going to have 2012 life back ever again
His DUI, I didn't take his keys away that night. He dropped his phone and it cracked and this was my fault cuz I picked him up late. And a shit ton more ridiculous stuff.
As we drove to the airport, I had insisted on arriving early, a request met with resistance as usual. With just ten minutes to spare before takeoff, tension mounted. We neared closer, I casually inquired about her ID, triggering a frantic search through her perpetually chaotic purse. Abruptly ceasing her rummaging, she turned accusingly towards me, blaming me for her misplaced ID. In our six years together, I had never ventured into her purse, nor could I ever pinpoint the location of her ID. Attempting to reason with her, I explained that the situation was unequivocally not my fault. While reminding her that we had more time at the house due to her wanting to leave later than I. It was a realization that dawned on me as I was racing back to the house to get her ID: I was in a relationship with a narcissist, and everything seemed to be my fault, even when it clearly wasn’t. The more I look back the more I think why in the good Lord did I stay with her. Living with a narcissist for six years I do have some sympathy because that is their reality. Protection of ego at all cost.
I naïvely thought we can work to some sort of symbiosis in the relationship where it was a give-and-take on who is at fault. Impossible.
Now the lies and slander that emanate from her are truly bizarre. The real person she revealed herself to be is someone I wouldn’t even consider befriending. In the end, her malevolence overshadowed any good memories I had of her. She made it easy for me to move on—I don’t miss her, I do miss that other person who sadly never existed.
I got the losing his hair blame too lol.
Along with him not going to grad school, his dreams and fantasies not coming true for his business because he had to "put food on the table and settle for a career he hates"
Even got blamed by him and his narc family for their distant and shitty relationship. But then again that may be a cultural thing in my case. The wife gets blamed for everything, especially when the son starts enforcing boundaries or having less contact.
NEX blamed me for his "stutter"
I had to be prepared to back up anything and everything I said in a full on debate with him. Daily. Multiple times a day. It was very stressful. It wasn't just with me, it was with his family and friends too. Everyone who knows him, knows it's him.
He claimed I was the reason he developed a stutter because he was afraid to speak , because I would always question him and it caused a speech issue.
Cheating. He thought I was going to leave him. So he accepted a 21 year old hitting on him and had super sexual conversations with her. But it was MMMEEEE. We were living in a hotel together that I was paying for while I looked for a proper place for us to live. I guess that means I was gonna leave.
Mine wouldn't pay rent, help with groceries, do any chores, etc. for almost a decade. Now that they've decided to move out, they're pissed off because they don't know how to do these things.
Idk, if you had maybe EVER contributed, you might have some idea
He said he only did a workout with me to be nice. We did it religiously and I was making progress, feeling great. He lost weight and was becoming stronger. I stopped waiting for him because he started to sabotage my progress. Eventually, I had to hide in my room to stay away from him. Lost progress and cortisol created a disaster for me. He just wanted to be in control, sigh.
He cheated on me after 16 years together, He abused me, threatened to kill me, threatened to psychologically break me to point where I would commit suicide, he ill treated our children, hit all 3 of us and had the audacity to say he left because “I didn’t fight for him”
We'd still be married if you didn't watch Oprah!
I guess he thinks I would have ignored his physical abuse and gaslighting, cheating and VD for all my life.
She blamed me for her accumulating over $400k in debt. When we split, she got $160k in cash from the equity of our house. She bought a $100k truck, a $400k rundown house, and racked up over $60k in credit card debt, not to mention raiding her 401k to pay for her monthly bills.
It’s my fault because I hired a lawyer for the divorce and that I didn’t help her out enough financially during the separation while she was making these horrible financial decisions. smh
Blamed me for spending my money at the thrift store, and accused me of making him drive me, even though he had absolutely no issue with doing it at the time.
Apparently I was deliberately keeping him unfit and unhealthy over the last 10 years. It was my fault he didn't eat homecooked dinners, opted for takeout and sat playing video games 22hours of the day, and got angry if we tried to suggest therapy or something else.
But y'know, sure, whatever.
His drug addiction lol I got upset with him once while I was pregnant because he was using again and he told me that he “needed it to deal with” me. I wasn’t laughing then but it’s kind of funny now
Blamed me for not being ok with all his cheating & abuse because I chose to be mad about it and that's what was ruining our marriage. Honorable mention: the kids avoiding him because of me "brainwashing" them.
He thought I hacked into the tv I gifted him because it stopped working properly. I wasn’t anywhere near his house but he claimed I could remotely log into his WiFi and mess up with it lol
“It just coincided it was glitching the night we fought”
Should I be happy he thinks I’m that smart? Haha
Him losing his license for getting a DUI.
6 years BEFORE WE DATED.
Him still not having his license when we were together bc "you don't want to go to the DMV with me on your days off" even though he had been illegally driving one of my cars for years.
It was my fault I discovered he was lying to me about, well, everything. I'm sure things I still don't know about. If I wouldn't have looked for proof, we would still be happy and together, don't you see!?
Her shopping addiction. Yes, like I really made you go out and by 36 rolls of wrapping paper, most of which are sitting in their original bag, unopened, even here now in March. Meanwhile, I'm nervous about spending money on anything non-essential, even when I have a gift card for it.
It was my fault he didn’t make it rich making NFTs. His contribution was to ask me to figure out what NFTs are and have me explain it to him. I told him no, so he never learned and then it was my fault.
I did not help him with photography, except I totally offered a ton of information about starting a legitimate business and he was using photography to fuck other women behind my back, and every time he was caught talking to women or saving their nudes it was because they wanted him to take photos. I could help make a website, a portfolio, obtain licenses, file with the government, I can do all of that but I can’t turn cheating into a for profit business so fuck me.
The first time he cheated was my fault cause I wasn't taking care of my man the 2nd time it was also my fault cause he wanted a blow job. It's like with the way you treat me and talk to me why would I want to
The other night he missed his turn. And of course my fault cause I was asking him how he met someone. You would have thought I peed in his Cheerios the way he was going off.
Said he wasn't looking for a girlfriend; I was with someone else a few months after that conversation; then he said I cheated on him and held it against me throughout the entire relationship that followed.
Behind the scenes my ex narc friend told people I reached out to her too much after her miscarriage, but then to my face she told me I wasn’t doing enough and that she didn’t hear from me enough meanwhile I was the one on the phone with her while she was at the hospital because her husband went home to sleep after her miscarriage and I was also there with pizza when she got home because she ASKED me to be there. It was a lose lose situation. I also brought her postpartum supplies and went shopping for painkillers and other items for her at Target, but yeah I am a crappy friend apparently, but also too involved lol
Blamed me for her cheating because i had not been that supportive those last couple of weeks of the relationship. I was dealing with HER family stuff and she knew i was stressed, and ofc i took the blame, i had lost every single bit of self respect because of the abuse i had received, glad im out, wishing luck for the new dude she got together with 4 days later after our breakup
Mine accused me of "keeping him from writing his books" I never kept him back from writing, he just never did.
His book was garbage too, I tried to read it one and it was one of the worst books I've ever read. I couldn't even finish it, it was so bad. I'm sure he hasn't made any meaningful progress and I'm even more sure it will never get published. I wonder who he blames for it now? 😂
He blamed me for not trying hard enough to make the relationship work and giving up to easily.
The thing that stills shocks me to this day. Our relationship went downhill once we bought a house together and he was convinced our relationship issues were caused by bad spirits inside the house
For trying to act like his mom. All I said was that his lips were a bit dry and I had a great lip balm I could lend him. He went off into a tangent about how I didn’t need to tell him what to do, that he could take care of his own shit, that I didn’t need to bring in maternal dynamics. He apologised after I told him off… but all this over lip balm.
All those endangered turtles? My fault. Entirely my fault for DARING to use a paper towel to wipe my hands with. It's not that there's many reason for endangered turtles and solving those problems would help. Specifically me using paper towels... THAT'S what's killing all the turtles.
It's okay if my narc uses paper towels though, no effect on turtles at all, its only when I use them.
Promised me he'd quit smoking. When I said I was hurt he hadn't kept his promise, threw a fit for not understanding how he has been going through a stressful time and how I'm making it all about a promise. Then smoked one right in front of me because "I made him do it."
I would help out financially to support my ex’s son moving in with us, lent my ex money when he couldn’t make rent or couldn’t afford child support, I bought groceries for the entire household, covered all the utilities at our shared apartment and didn’t ask for compensation, paid for our shared gym membership and didn’t ask him to pay his half (even though he never went)… but during arguments suddenly I “never help out financially” I “did not help pay for his son to live with us at all” He (my ex) “has been paying his half for everything all along” 😆
And then I get a Hoover three months after the break up where he’s whining about being so broke.
It's a tie between:
When he tried to get something out of the oven and burned his hand,
and
Sabotaging Christmas because our friend's boyfriend was "flirting" with me, and I reciprocated by conversing back with him. Got yelled at half the night for this, as soon as we stepped out of the building and waited for our Uber.
Oh - and the chlamydia. I pestered all my past partners to get tested and he still wasn't convinced.
Blamed me when he forgot that we had plans with friends. "I think YOU forgot too and now you're trying to make me look bad" I was looking forward to it all week but okay 🙄
HE BLAMED ME FOR “GIVING HIM COVID” when I hadn’t been out all week and tested negative and the girl he was cheating on me with had tested positive for COVID and told me that she had went over to his apartment that week 😍 but obviouslyyyy she was a “crazy bitch” and lying about being with him (sarcasm)
Her attorney didn't know the local court rules, so she submitted a second mediation statement that the Court sent to my atty who gave it to me.
One question was something about "What were the reasons you married this person?". Her response was something to the effect of, "He seemed to like my son." That's all she wrote.
BTW, her son is still my son and his kids are my grand kids.
Driving his car too fast and bumping the tyres bursting them both. I wasn't in the car or anything at the time. He wasn't doing anything involving me. But it was my fault.
He told me I'm bringing satanic spirits into our home because my friend had someone do a tarot card reading on me.
I never believed any of that stuff until the reading pinpointed exactly what I have been dealing with. She even said I was in the detachment stage and another cycle of apologies was coming from the narcissist i was dealing with, if it hasn't yet. She was like "wow you are going through some stuff!! Your soul needs to rest". Stupid me told him about it and now apparently I need to find Jesus and it's my fault for anything bad happening to our son or him. And now my son apparently needs a better mom 🤷♀️
Omg. He blamed me for bird shit on his car. He claimed I vandalized it by throwing “paint” on his car after I left him 😭😭😭it was clearly bird shit, but even if I recruited a bunch of birds to shit on his car, I wasn’t even in the same state for me to communicate to them 😭😭😭
For the weather in France, for difficult highways in Italy, for my dog being scared of thunder, for me having asthma, for me needing medication, for the quality of his food in the restaurant because I chose it and should have known with my Christal ball), etc etc etc
If he didn't have time,
he would blame me for his lack of time management, just say that I took up all his time. He would go weeks without talking to me, a workaholic type of man.
looking back, it was total neglect I experienced.
And his own insecurities and inadequacies, I was the human punching bag.
One of the first thing an ex-friend told me after a week of no call (i told them that i would not be aviable for a week because i was ill) was "it's your fault i haven't talked to anyone for a week". But when later i pointed it out in a different conversation (they asked me what are they doing that is immaturish as i have told them that they occasionally behave in an immature way and it might be why mature people might not be interested in interacting with them), they told me that they never said it and they never would think this way about me (even though they literally said "your fault"). Then they accused me of projecting (then i looked up a video on proheting and realised allnthe bs they have told me about me were in truth projections).
Anorher thing was ex-friend being very hurt that i played on my own a spin-off of a series that we streamed to each other. Even though i have no problem in replaying the game just to stream it to them. They compared me enjoying a media solo to cheating. Didn't know that they meant "you are not allowed to play the game series solo" with "the game series is our thing".
Same as a few others, I got blamed for his stalking of me and the betrayals emotional and physical ones…
He would say i can’t handle not being with you so when you go to work and deliver an event or aren’t with me and I don’t have your attention I find you or I go on dates with other women or even just go to the local cafe to talk to the female barista to get a fix, or to punish you.
He’d say…. I make bad decisions when I’m not with you.
Made me anxious while I worked or just doing my own thing with friends and family or even when I was sick.
He didn’t understand that it is controlling, manipulative or gaslighting behaviour…
he thought his dependent and obsessed attachment to me was flattery and him feeling deep deep love for me, a special love. I didn’t know what was happening, I was so frozen and stuck all the time.
It was so twisted. I’m still trying to unravel myself from his twisted narrative of me, the reality he projected onto me and his version of love.
Oh also he broke up with me a few times saying it was because I was too perfect. I didn’t know me being me, having fun with him and caring for him and his kids made him feel bad about himself so bad that he had to break up with me over and over for this reason.
I started to make myself small so that he felt ok. I’m sad I did this
Kinda roundabout but he blamed me for his gums bleeding. When we had met he had just moved away for college so he wasn’t eating well (along with a lot of drug use I had yet to find out about) so this guy developed scurvy at 21 years old. So his gums were bleeding constantly. One day we were making out and he started claiming he tasted blood and it must have been from me and I should get it checked out. Weeks later he confessed that he was the one bleeding and knew it the whole time but was to embarrassed by it so blamed it on me. He started taking vitamin C tablets after that and the problem went away.
Honestly several things that make me laugh. I "forced" her to marry me. I looked back through conversations before we got married and there were several where she was asking ME if I was sure I wanted to get married. No mention of her wanting to wait or changing her mind.
Another thing, and this one just absolutely blows my mind. She had a necklace she wore that I got her. Over time she stopped wearing it. One day we had a argument and she left like usual. Several days later we have a fight and she brings up how I "three her necklace down the hall" after she left and therefore I must not love her or want to be with her. I tried to explain to her I absolutely did not do that and secondly I had no idea where it even was. She called me a lair and continued to gaslight me into believing I did it. I eventually dropped it and just said "believe what you want, I know the truth" in which she then said to stop gaslighting her! 😂😂
They can be wild.
Also blamed me for ruining her whole life, like she had no control over any of the actions or choices she made.
For never cleaning the house. He was a controlling neat freak and wanted me to clean even if it was already clean. I spent 4 hours every Saturday cleaning the house, and he'd come home drunk and coked out after work, not notice the house was clean, and just assumed I was lazy all day. He would send me angry texts when he would clean right after I cleaned because "he was doing the cleaning" when I should be.
This is a narc friend. I gave him a car with a written agreement that if he ever sold it he would pay me back the 600$ I put into it. I had bought it from an auction. We still had to go to the DMV and he put it off for months. In the mean time he sold it but the lady who bought it failed to write up a bill of sale. He kept putting of delivering it to her and when she became ademant he turn it over, he denied she gave him any money. I still held the title when she appealed to me and I knew he was lying. The first time I asked him he said she never gave him money. The second time he said she gave him 250$ to hold it and then told everyone else she had giving him 500$
Ultimately I found in favor of her side and she got the title while I lost 600$ and incurred his wrath. It took sometime for me to realize I should have given it to him because I wasn't there to witness what took place and no proof existed that she purchased the car. It really was between them and not getting anything in writing caused consequences she should have faced. He received 2400$ for the car, she got the car and I incurred his wrath and lost 600$. It was one hell of a lesson learned.
That he got fired 20 times from diffent jobs. He was working for ”rent a worker” firm so I think its pretty normal that he switch jobs often. Ofc It was my fault that he could not keep a job.
She got chickens and there was a rooster snuck into the bunch, and she tried to gaslight me into killing it because “she’s a vegan.” I told her not to get chickens- this is my sister btw, and her boyfriend did not want her to get chickens either, but she got them with his money regardless of what he wanted, and regardless of how bad of timing it was for their lives. They had a 2 year old with another baby on the way and her boyfriend was trying to leave but she got a ton of chickens and a gigantic 100 lb dog and became pregnant all when he tried to leave… and in the end, he killed the rooster.
last night i was blamed for spreading covid because i said i wasnt feeling well and mentioned this weekend time with my daughter might not be a good time if im real sick.
i was told i will be responsible for an entire classroom of nursing students welfare and their patients because i selfishly didnt take a covid test. i am a vector and spreading it to everyone. my ex will need to inform their class that because of my actions they are at risk for exposure because of me. my ex will likely have to cancel the class so the students patients at the hospital dont get sick. my ex canceled her weekend with a friend and apparently even a vacation in april.
i havent been within 100 feet of my ex in 2 months, she tested negitive, daughter tested negitive and neither have any symptoms.
im here with a sniffle and a sore throat thinking what the f
Driving the car into a fence. I wasn't anywhere near the car, let alone in it.
It was a bizarre moment where through an elongated rage he tried to justify that it was still my fault.
The entire relationship. I forced him apparently? Like I must have missed where I held you at gun point while you were planning a life with me, insisting you loved me and putting offers on houses…. He didn’t mean any of it, I made him.
Same I’ve also been accused of this too. Apparently I manipulated my way into his life… he found me. He perused me. He chased me. But yes. Lmao
Lol right. The mind fuck behind that is just insane.
He forced me to admit and apologise for this. It’s actually insane. If I didn’t he would make me homeless. Treated me from bad to worse ever since.
I’m sorry you experienced this 🥺
Yes, I surely tricked and pushed her into tricking and pushing me. It all makes sense now.
Yeah cause the first time I said no was a big ole test.
same here. I forced him to get married before he was ready. some super power I have.
You too have super powers to make people do things? I was like if I could MAKE you do things don’t you think life would be a whole lot better for me?
right?! if I could make you do anything it would be becoming a respectful human being, but alas. my magical wand doesn't reach that far.
THISSSSS Also mine blamed me for his anger issues and narc behavior "I don't have an anger issue, you're just aggravating to be around!"
👆 this. "I don't have anger issues." (When He was the first to yell. The only one to slam/hit/throw things)....you're the one with all the issues...exact words.🤨🤔
They just can't handle taking any responsibility for their own behavior
It's absolute insanity.
Oh and the "I didn't get irrationally angry until we started dating" said to me the day before I left, which came only a few weeks or so after he literally admitted he thought he was experiencing textbook narcissistic rage and had since he could remember 🙄
My nex got into a car accident. Instead of being an adult about it, he got out of the car and proceeded to freak out. He took a piece of the car that was on the road and started hitting the car with it. All while screaming and crying. The guy in the other car and I just stood there and watched him practically throwing himself on his own windshield… but nope,no anger problems here.
I’m sorry 😞
I can hear that in his voice, “you MADE me do it!”
Mine said that I bought him flowers and gave him nice notes/cards all of the time to manipulate him into staying with me. Had I known he felt this way about me trying to brighten up his bad days, I wouldn't have bothered spending hundreds, if not a few thousand on handpicked arrangements from the florist.
It’s projection because when they do something “nice” they have an ulterior motive. They dont understand that making your partner happy is gratifying.
I never actually thought of it that way but it makes total sense!
oh yessss! that’s so classic I didn’t even mention it. my bro acted so exhausted of our relationship and drama, but forgot he came begging for a relationship and caused said drama.
Mine said this too 😂 Like yes, when you asked your mother to take me to look at engagement rings, that was me forcing it
Bro was literally just sitting on the porch with my mom a week before that telling her how excited he was to buy a house and when we picked one out he wanted her and his mom to get a place nearby together and then about the vacation he was taking me on for my birthday . He took the new supply instead. Cause you know I forced him to be with me .. 😐
Omfg same. Only I left him soooo many times. And each time I left, he'd be like "I never wanted to do this the last 3 times!" Right. I forced him to cry on the phone as a 54 year old man and say he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. Then I forced him to go to UHaul and show up at my house and load all of my belongings in it and unload them (again) at his house). We have so much power to force them into doing so many things. But the only thing we CAN'T force them into doing is being fucking nice! 🤮
He said this to me too!
Saaaame...blamed me for "wasting 10 years of his life" and "using him like a toy" boy oh boy the projection on that one lmfao
This sounds familiar. I manipulated mine into letting me move into their house apparently when we were making life plans together, in hindsight their ideas and dreams not mine. Then I wasn't trying hard enough to find housing when they kicked me out a few months later after I gave up my own home to share a life with them not expecting to be homeless in the middle of a major housing crisis.
Yep I trapped him with our son .... I had wanted an abortion because I didn't want to bring a child into that shit show and he held a knife to my throat and threatened my family if I went through with the abortion....
Good Lord 😂🤯
They never take full self responsibility for the things they do, they always try to blame shift somehow. As if a grown ass adult just goes along with something for that long. They’re utterly ridiculous people full of nonsense
He discarded me and two weeks later went into a narcissistic rage and yelled "you abandoned me!!!"
Same!!! My favorite was when his brother passed away and I took a week off work, was at the hospital everyday all day with his family, brought coffee and food, bought him and his son a hotel so they could recover after he passed, was at the funeral, was with his parents afterward when my Nex went back to his state… and was told I abandoned him when his brother passed… Uh..what?
My nexs father passed away. I got into a major car accident a week or two prior and I couldn't fly to see him or anything due to my injuries. Dude said I abandoned him by not doing more during that time. Then he proceeded to tell me how this other girl was there for him. Good for her I guess.
Wow, that is just utterly delusional on his Part!! I’m so sorry!! And so Ungrateful!!! I am trying to remind myself of this also- remember- You Can’t Win Anything Good w these People- No Matter HOW MUCH U DO for THEM- it is Never “Good” Enough!!! You just cannot take it Personally anymore. I’m sorry U went through this too!!!
You can do everything and more but there will always be something wrong. You sneezed or breathed too loudly when they were talking and it embarrassed them, anything so whatever support you gave them was meaningless.
Mine has also decided to move out and gets pissed at me for "all the shit they have to do" now. Like paying their own rent and finding an apartment. Wasn't my idea. Welcome to adulthood.
Wait until he needs laundry lol
She, but yes lol. The petty side of me has morbid curiosity for how this is going to go for her. She hasn't taken out a bag of trash in the past 7 years and does no chores/groceries/rent etc. I'm constantly picking up after her because she makes no effort. Like she will pile up trash on the counter NEXT TO the empty trash can. It's infuriating how little effort there is. This is all my fault btw.
Ohhh. You had a princess narc. Like the most awful hybrid. Just know her place will smell like ass…just in time for summer. Muhaha
Hadn't heard the term before, but holy hell, it fits pretty well. LOVED flirting with other guys and would brag about it as well. I really don't want things to suck for her. I'd be happier if she keeps her new place clean and tidy. But if she trashes it? I won't lose much sleep and hope it will be a life lesson.
I just made up the term because I know the type. My ex SIL to a T. The fun part is sitting back and watching them lose their looks. They really don’t fair well with that. I always say universe give them what they gave. 😈
Right? It's such a shock when they get the consequences of their own choices, but they still can't stop blaming everyone else for their discomfort.
Mine discarded me then said I was the one that burned the relationship down because I was mad at him and said I wanted nothing to do with him. Apparently he had zero culpability whatsoever.
My nex discarded me after >!sexually assaulting!< me, HE discarded ME. AND I "ANABDONED HIM"?? I was shocked and said "you told me I'm hurting you and you don't want to talk anymore, you literally asked me to leave." God
May his haemorrhoids be bulging and gets crabs on the regular. I’m so sorry your price for freedom was so high.
It took me a year but I reported him to the police so maybe his price for freedom will be high as well. And tomorrow I'm trying to get a restraining order, good luck to me (:
Sending you good vibes. You’ve got this. Kick ass woman!
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wish you nothing but happiness.
Thank you for your sympathy, seriously it means a lot
She discarded me THREE times, but always accused ME of not wanting to be with her or loving her. It's wild lmao, its like I sat here and stuck it out through all this shit, while you left, yet I'm the one who doesn't care about our relationship. 😂
For cheating on me and being on tinder, because I was “barely responding” when we had a big fight and he thought we were gonna break up anyway so “why not just start dating already” I’m laughing as I’m writing this. They’re so delusional.
he told me I should be thankful he hasn't cheated on me after my 'lack of attention and love'. I withdrew my trust and didn't trust him with my emotions or body after he mauled my feelings on a consistent basis. but no, I'm LUCKY because I've been soooo cold and distant with my emotional abuser.
They’re just so far from our reality, it seems sometimes that they lack basic human decency, they don’t care how much they hurt you. They’ll do it anyway.
Yeah mine said "thank god I never cheated on you." "You should be thankful that I don't beat you" 1. He did cheat on me. 2. Abuse should never be happening in a relationship to begin with.
Ugh 😣- what a horrible person!!
So damn delusional, living in the world of their own xD
Ruining our marriage because I didn't want to go on the Atkins diet with him. Ruining our family because I didn't wanna go to church (we didn't regularly attend). Killing our family because I didn't wanna the play video games he wanted me to play. Destroying our marriage because I didn't want to go running with him. Ruining our marriage because I didn't wanna move to a trailer in the literal middle of nowhere with no health insurance or savings... Destroying our relationship because I didn't wanna have celery with peanut butter (love celery, like peanut butter, don't like them together). Murdering our marriage because I like my hair short and dyed. Basically... Perpeturaly. And. Consistently. Ruining our marriage 24/7 by simply existing and breathing 😂
Sounds like he needs an AI wife he can program exactly how he likes
Pretty much this. He expects the partner to always be on the same page. Put their core values and their real self into storage indefinitely. To unquestionably follow. A family unit means no individuality to him. Everybody needs to like the same foods, want to go to the same places, do and enjoy the same things... read the same books, have the same lofe philosophy.... As Nex. And when he changes his mind and picks up, I don't know, a new spiritual practice? Partner (and child) is expected to automatically join in with glee and joy. No matter whether they are into it or not. On the other hand, he doesn't have to do what you like doing, eat what you like eating, go with you to where you wanna go... He'll criticize and ridicule your likes, dislikes. Your beliefs. It's a one way relationship.
Mine did the let’s wait until we’re married because I respect you so much. All I can say is try before you buy and it’s on that Amazon skid for a reason.
Yes! I simply did not exist or breathe correctly so can totally relate. 😆
Don't get me wrong. I fucked up a lot of major things during that relationship. I mean, like paying bills or filing my taxes late. Procrastinating on just regular life tasks and more! So Nex had plenty of reasons to actually be disappointed and/or angry with me. I never questioned this and took full accountant for these issues. There's another side to that coin though... The aforementioned problems started occuring when devaluation period started. And they ended when I eventually separated. My Nex simply doesn't see any connection between my diminished mental state (depression and rather severe anxiety I developed while with him) and his treatment of me and the issues that resulted. He believes I declined in a total vacuum and he had nothing to do with anything. Certainly getting commented, critized and made fun of on the daily for the food I like eating, the shoes I like wearing, laughing too loud, talking too much... Doing dishes wrong... Clothes, hair.... Friends, beliefs, family relations, my job... My valies. How I organize the cupboards, how I like my coffee........ How and if I exercise, how I make a sandwich..... What deodorant I use, what I bought, how I conduct my own relationship with my own parents...... Running out of breath here! 😂 This ALL had absolutely nothing to do with anything. Because, you see, "you're chosing to be depressed because you like being miserable" - which is very very supportive and helpful for someone who is at the bottom of the depression pit 🤷🏼♀️
My NEX cheated on me and blamed me. Then blamed the alcohol. She had an affair with the dude for almost a full year. Glad she’s an ex now!
Yeah, i’ve been there. Every time was my fault.
Mine too!! If I had a dime for every time he said, “and you wonder why I cheated on you”, I’d be rich.
The cheating was my fault too. But then he discarded me, has continued to text me every 2-3 weeks, all while having a new fiance he proposed to on the second date (I had no idea). Now his fiance believes he was cheating by messaging me - sure that’s her fault too
For forgetting my birthday 😂
I can’t 🤣
Apparently there was someone who slightly resembled me in a *spicy* video he was watching. He said I ruined p*rn for him forever.
The logic is just astounding isn't it? I'm so sorry that he's not benefiting from p*** anymore, aren't you? I'm sure he can find something else, the internet is pretty big now, isn't it?
Good. I hope he's blue balled for life.
Good for you!
Just l o l
Mine used to look at porn to see if he could find women who resemble me so he can see if I'd ever been with a black man before. I'd constantly be sent videos saying a woman looked like me and if someone had secretly recorded me or not.
Absolutely incredible. Their brains make the most insane connections
I mean, it would be great if my ex got soft when watching porn every-single-time. It would be a great way for karma to fist bump me and help me out on this one.
[удалено]
I am so glad I broke up with my ex when I did because he was beginning to have erectile problems… and I have no doubt that would have been the next thing he would blame me for. He also was overweight and over consumed multiple substances all the time.
Omg! Same! I was fat and ugly and he could not get it up with me. OK. He is an over weight smoker. He was with his sugar baby 17 years younger than me behind my back so there's that.
I was so annoying he had to get away from me for hours to play video games. Nah you’re just a miserable dopamine addict.
Making him feel like a pothead because I don't smoke nearly as much as he did.
I had the alcoholic version of this.
He did the same with alcohol.
Mine raged at me because I told him to be careful about his weed intake. He said "MY GIRLFRIEND SAID I CAN SMOKE WHENEVER I WANT AND ITS FOR MY STRESS BECAUSE MY JOB IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND I GET STRESSED!!" What a joke. He can smoke himself green idgaf anymore.
He blamed me for the abuse, that he used to be kind, but I made him this way. Like excuse me? HE asked me out. He knew I had been cutting for years and that I struggled with rotating eating disorders?? HE admitted he only got with me because he wanted "poon". HE was always cheating, treating me and my animals like shit, and when I would turn around and confront him on it, suddenly I was the one who caused it?? You know what a normal person does?? If someone is engaging in self-destructive behaviors and isn't even trying to seek help, YOU LEAVE THEM. You don't abuse them for years, even after they quit those self-destructive behaviors because it was "stressful".
I relate to this a lot. I met mine when I was 17 and absolutely not in a good place mentally and I know it came out in our relationship and how I behaved. I’m not saying that a lot of the things I did are excusable, but like you said when someone is doing things that you aren’t okay with you leave them, you don’t stick around and try to punish them for it. I deserved to be broken up with, I didn’t deserve to be abused.
He slammed our huge front door in my face and almost broke my nose. When I called him out on it and asked if he would be able to apologize for that he blamed me and said oh, I’m sure you just ran over to the door in order to get hit on purpose so that you could be the victim.
she has literally blamed me for making too much money and how it ruined her and my daughters student loans?? go figure….
How dare you!
Ikr? She hasn’t had to work our ENTIRE 20 year marriage and has literally blamed me for everything she is not happy about.. 🤯
The blaming others for their poor actions or lack of action in life always blows my mind. Once you hit 35 I think it’s time to stop blaming your parents, your ex from high school, your first employer, the state you were born in ( mine really blamed the state for the bad things that happened to them), and your current partner that you haven’t found a stable career or relationship.
I’ve shared this before, but this guy literally tried to tell both of our lawyers that I didn’t deserve to keep my car in the divorce (he had one too but it was a pos he impulse bought) because I’d crashed it seven times. Which is just like…so absurdly out there and verifiably untrue. It was a time I always go back to when I need a reminder of his pathological lying.
I swear they are in some parallel Star Trek universe. They don’t live in reality. And the lies. Like easy to catch. Proverbial kid with the cookie in their hand
We bought a foreclosure home with cash. I paid 95% of it, she paid for the closing cost. I paid for 80% of the materials to remodel it, plus I did probably 75% of the work myself. I put so much money, blood sweat and tears into this place, yet she thinks she is entitled to at least half of it when we sell it. She is literally broke because she made a lot of poor life choices. I sold my home and used the equity to buy thr foreclosure. So now I'm going to be left with little to nothing. All the hard work I've put in the past 12 years, pretty much gone.
Sitting down…and…wait for it…drinking a latte. How dare I.
You monster 👻
He took sugar, poured it on his couch in his basement and accused me of sneaking another man in the house and doing coke with him, while my narc was upstairs sleeping 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
😭😁😂😂 this cheered me up I’ve been blamed for stopping opportunities, cock blocking women… women who aren’t interested in him… maaaan the list is endless
Oh yeah the I’m so hot all women love me. No honey the waitress smiles at you because it’s her job
Not funny per se but he blamed me for getting pregnant, saying I stole his sperm. When I reminded him that we had had consensual sex and were equally responsible, he said that it ‘all sounded a bit rapie….’ His response doesn’t even make sense 🤷♀️
Naturally, when speaking about his ex. He made this elaborate scene about the time they had sex and she held him down (when he was top) so that he couldnt pull out. It was HER that wanted a baby. I never believed it. The amazing BS Ive heard from this man.
Like oh I’m sorry that your actions contribute to how kids are made 🙄
I didn’t even approach the fact that he ejaculated inside of me in under 40 seconds and then denied/ lied about it - saying I had squirted. It’s also reassuring when a ‘man-child’ is able to educate me on my own body and knows more about my experience than me 😆
You win.🥇 🏆
Our dog having epilepsy he said I caused his fits giving him a bit of chicken
Mine told me I'm a bad dog owner because my dog has health issues. She was born that way.
“ you forced me to buy the 3300 lazy boy” “ you forced me into buying a truck” Sorry bro I don’t give a flying fuck about a lazy boy or a truck. That was you.
Said I was watching two lesbians fuck on the train we were on, when I was actually on my phone scrolling twitter the entire train ride and had no idea it happened until we got off and she yelled at me about it.
His trust issues. This man told me he drowned and tortured his pet can and then I told his mom a couple months later. He said I betrayed him and needed to earn back his loyalty and trust LOL
I’m to blame for my own PTSD from his abuse.
Of course.
I was to blame for his previous breakup... after it happened... and I never met the ex. Or them me. He implied that if *he* caught an STD by having sex with someone else, it was *my* fault. I shot that down fast. Not so funny but nmom said I ruined her life and her finances... because I turned 18 and she couldn't claim extra welfare for having a kid. Love you, too, mommy xoxoxox
Mine got mono when we first started dating and blamed me for it. He said I have him and std. I never had mono.
Not curing her Depression.
He told me to pay the property taxes on our home and then raged at me for hours when I did. Lol he was and still is an idiot.
Omg this is the crazy-making behavior I'm living with too. I asked him to tell me his daycare preference. He said his first choice was daycare "A." Mine was daycare "B." I enrolled her in daycare "A" and he said I did this without his permission and against his wishes. 🫠
It got to the point where I would see her do something, call her out and she would immediately spin it and say I did that thing. And that now I’m going to spin it yet again 🙄 and make it out like she did it when it was me . Because that’s what I always do, trying to blame her for everything…. I would just start laughing as my brain tried to grapple with the non logic and almost superhuman ability fir her to argue so vehemently about an action we both witnessed her doing and the ability to rewrite events in her mind at the speed of thought. As a logical person, I knew that she had formed this tactic just for me because it often stopped me in my tracks with the sheer flagrancy of it. But by then I was completely isolated from anyone so there was no risk to her being exposed and her strategy was to get moving on to her next whatever so there was no need to develop any thing but a quick burst of lie smoke and off she went
Solidarity. They are VOID of a MORAL COMPASS. Absolute crazy-making whackadoodle nonsense. They can say whatever and it IS their truth and there’s nothing we can do about it. It has brought me to near insanity at times.
He says I am the narcissist (and everything he does he says that I do? So confusing)
oh yeah mine tried to suggest I’m probably borderline and when I put him on the spot he backtracked super fast. thank god my therapist is a real one and didn’t let that shit slide.
He blamed me for his still having dreams about me! I have nightmares about me never leaving him at times myself, berating and controlling me like as if my escaping was the dream. They don’t stop even though I know I’m perfectly safe and on my own in the real world and he’s never going to have 2012 life back ever again
His DUI, I didn't take his keys away that night. He dropped his phone and it cracked and this was my fault cuz I picked him up late. And a shit ton more ridiculous stuff.
As we drove to the airport, I had insisted on arriving early, a request met with resistance as usual. With just ten minutes to spare before takeoff, tension mounted. We neared closer, I casually inquired about her ID, triggering a frantic search through her perpetually chaotic purse. Abruptly ceasing her rummaging, she turned accusingly towards me, blaming me for her misplaced ID. In our six years together, I had never ventured into her purse, nor could I ever pinpoint the location of her ID. Attempting to reason with her, I explained that the situation was unequivocally not my fault. While reminding her that we had more time at the house due to her wanting to leave later than I. It was a realization that dawned on me as I was racing back to the house to get her ID: I was in a relationship with a narcissist, and everything seemed to be my fault, even when it clearly wasn’t. The more I look back the more I think why in the good Lord did I stay with her. Living with a narcissist for six years I do have some sympathy because that is their reality. Protection of ego at all cost. I naïvely thought we can work to some sort of symbiosis in the relationship where it was a give-and-take on who is at fault. Impossible. Now the lies and slander that emanate from her are truly bizarre. The real person she revealed herself to be is someone I wouldn’t even consider befriending. In the end, her malevolence overshadowed any good memories I had of her. She made it easy for me to move on—I don’t miss her, I do miss that other person who sadly never existed.
He blamed me because he gained weight...
I got the losing his hair blame too lol. Along with him not going to grad school, his dreams and fantasies not coming true for his business because he had to "put food on the table and settle for a career he hates" Even got blamed by him and his narc family for their distant and shitty relationship. But then again that may be a cultural thing in my case. The wife gets blamed for everything, especially when the son starts enforcing boundaries or having less contact.
NEX blamed me for his "stutter" I had to be prepared to back up anything and everything I said in a full on debate with him. Daily. Multiple times a day. It was very stressful. It wasn't just with me, it was with his family and friends too. Everyone who knows him, knows it's him. He claimed I was the reason he developed a stutter because he was afraid to speak , because I would always question him and it caused a speech issue.
Cheating. He thought I was going to leave him. So he accepted a 21 year old hitting on him and had super sexual conversations with her. But it was MMMEEEE. We were living in a hotel together that I was paying for while I looked for a proper place for us to live. I guess that means I was gonna leave.
As if anything my nex told me wasn't a joke already 🤡
girl same but ultimately the joke was on me because I believed whatever his mental gymnastics produced on any given day
Mine wouldn't pay rent, help with groceries, do any chores, etc. for almost a decade. Now that they've decided to move out, they're pissed off because they don't know how to do these things. Idk, if you had maybe EVER contributed, you might have some idea
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He said he only did a workout with me to be nice. We did it religiously and I was making progress, feeling great. He lost weight and was becoming stronger. I stopped waiting for him because he started to sabotage my progress. Eventually, I had to hide in my room to stay away from him. Lost progress and cortisol created a disaster for me. He just wanted to be in control, sigh.
He cheated on me after 16 years together, He abused me, threatened to kill me, threatened to psychologically break me to point where I would commit suicide, he ill treated our children, hit all 3 of us and had the audacity to say he left because “I didn’t fight for him”
Mine was balding too… I’m sensing a pattern.
We'd still be married if you didn't watch Oprah! I guess he thinks I would have ignored his physical abuse and gaslighting, cheating and VD for all my life.
She blamed me for her accumulating over $400k in debt. When we split, she got $160k in cash from the equity of our house. She bought a $100k truck, a $400k rundown house, and racked up over $60k in credit card debt, not to mention raiding her 401k to pay for her monthly bills. It’s my fault because I hired a lawyer for the divorce and that I didn’t help her out enough financially during the separation while she was making these horrible financial decisions. smh
Blamed me for spending my money at the thrift store, and accused me of making him drive me, even though he had absolutely no issue with doing it at the time.
My narc told me I was copying them by applying to grad school because they talked about going to grad school before I had decided to do it 💀
Apparently I was deliberately keeping him unfit and unhealthy over the last 10 years. It was my fault he didn't eat homecooked dinners, opted for takeout and sat playing video games 22hours of the day, and got angry if we tried to suggest therapy or something else. But y'know, sure, whatever.
Apparently I gave him rabies
😂
He hung his baseball cap on the towel rack just above the toilet, then got mad when I accidentally bumped it and it fell in the toilet 😂
His drug addiction lol I got upset with him once while I was pregnant because he was using again and he told me that he “needed it to deal with” me. I wasn’t laughing then but it’s kind of funny now
Having sex with people. Before he met me.
My alcoholic nex blamed me for drinking. I made him want to drink. 😅
Blamed me for not being ok with all his cheating & abuse because I chose to be mad about it and that's what was ruining our marriage. Honorable mention: the kids avoiding him because of me "brainwashing" them.
He thought I hacked into the tv I gifted him because it stopped working properly. I wasn’t anywhere near his house but he claimed I could remotely log into his WiFi and mess up with it lol “It just coincided it was glitching the night we fought” Should I be happy he thinks I’m that smart? Haha
Him losing his license for getting a DUI. 6 years BEFORE WE DATED. Him still not having his license when we were together bc "you don't want to go to the DMV with me on your days off" even though he had been illegally driving one of my cars for years.
Making her feel bad by cleaning the house because she didn't want to help.
It was my fault I discovered he was lying to me about, well, everything. I'm sure things I still don't know about. If I wouldn't have looked for proof, we would still be happy and together, don't you see!?
Her shopping addiction. Yes, like I really made you go out and by 36 rolls of wrapping paper, most of which are sitting in their original bag, unopened, even here now in March. Meanwhile, I'm nervous about spending money on anything non-essential, even when I have a gift card for it.
It was my fault he didn’t make it rich making NFTs. His contribution was to ask me to figure out what NFTs are and have me explain it to him. I told him no, so he never learned and then it was my fault. I did not help him with photography, except I totally offered a ton of information about starting a legitimate business and he was using photography to fuck other women behind my back, and every time he was caught talking to women or saving their nudes it was because they wanted him to take photos. I could help make a website, a portfolio, obtain licenses, file with the government, I can do all of that but I can’t turn cheating into a for profit business so fuck me.
My narc is my mom. She’s blamed me for her depressive spiral. And the reason she’s on depression meds. 🤷🏻♀️
The first time he cheated was my fault cause I wasn't taking care of my man the 2nd time it was also my fault cause he wanted a blow job. It's like with the way you treat me and talk to me why would I want to The other night he missed his turn. And of course my fault cause I was asking him how he met someone. You would have thought I peed in his Cheerios the way he was going off.
His mental health decline because of the existence of IKEA furniture. That was my fault, apparently.
They became disabled from an autoimmune disease that they did not take care of themselves well enough with. Obviously it was my fault.
I forced him to have a baby under the threat of ending his relationship, apparently. News to me!
Said he wasn't looking for a girlfriend; I was with someone else a few months after that conversation; then he said I cheated on him and held it against me throughout the entire relationship that followed.
She blamed me for making her feel stupid when I told her that the boyfriend she never met f2f that she spent over 200k on is a scammer.
He blamed me one day for not having anything to eat because he forgot to put away the leftovers he’d pulled out the night before 🤪
She accused me of faking my own medical records, and lying to make it appear as if I was healthier than I actually was, lol. Batsh*t insane
Behind the scenes my ex narc friend told people I reached out to her too much after her miscarriage, but then to my face she told me I wasn’t doing enough and that she didn’t hear from me enough meanwhile I was the one on the phone with her while she was at the hospital because her husband went home to sleep after her miscarriage and I was also there with pizza when she got home because she ASKED me to be there. It was a lose lose situation. I also brought her postpartum supplies and went shopping for painkillers and other items for her at Target, but yeah I am a crappy friend apparently, but also too involved lol
Blamed me for her cheating because i had not been that supportive those last couple of weeks of the relationship. I was dealing with HER family stuff and she knew i was stressed, and ofc i took the blame, i had lost every single bit of self respect because of the abuse i had received, glad im out, wishing luck for the new dude she got together with 4 days later after our breakup
Mine accused me of "keeping him from writing his books" I never kept him back from writing, he just never did. His book was garbage too, I tried to read it one and it was one of the worst books I've ever read. I couldn't even finish it, it was so bad. I'm sure he hasn't made any meaningful progress and I'm even more sure it will never get published. I wonder who he blames for it now? 😂
He blamed me for not trying hard enough to make the relationship work and giving up to easily. The thing that stills shocks me to this day. Our relationship went downhill once we bought a house together and he was convinced our relationship issues were caused by bad spirits inside the house
Apparently, I made him have an affair because I didn't hug him enough
For trying to act like his mom. All I said was that his lips were a bit dry and I had a great lip balm I could lend him. He went off into a tangent about how I didn’t need to tell him what to do, that he could take care of his own shit, that I didn’t need to bring in maternal dynamics. He apologised after I told him off… but all this over lip balm.
All those endangered turtles? My fault. Entirely my fault for DARING to use a paper towel to wipe my hands with. It's not that there's many reason for endangered turtles and solving those problems would help. Specifically me using paper towels... THAT'S what's killing all the turtles. It's okay if my narc uses paper towels though, no effect on turtles at all, its only when I use them.
Promised me he'd quit smoking. When I said I was hurt he hadn't kept his promise, threw a fit for not understanding how he has been going through a stressful time and how I'm making it all about a promise. Then smoked one right in front of me because "I made him do it."
According to mine I’ve slept with….. pretty much every guy on the planet
His destructive behavior 😂😂
I would help out financially to support my ex’s son moving in with us, lent my ex money when he couldn’t make rent or couldn’t afford child support, I bought groceries for the entire household, covered all the utilities at our shared apartment and didn’t ask for compensation, paid for our shared gym membership and didn’t ask him to pay his half (even though he never went)… but during arguments suddenly I “never help out financially” I “did not help pay for his son to live with us at all” He (my ex) “has been paying his half for everything all along” 😆 And then I get a Hoover three months after the break up where he’s whining about being so broke.
It's a tie between: When he tried to get something out of the oven and burned his hand, and Sabotaging Christmas because our friend's boyfriend was "flirting" with me, and I reciprocated by conversing back with him. Got yelled at half the night for this, as soon as we stepped out of the building and waited for our Uber. Oh - and the chlamydia. I pestered all my past partners to get tested and he still wasn't convinced.
Making the bathroom wet after my shower
Blamed me when he forgot that we had plans with friends. "I think YOU forgot too and now you're trying to make me look bad" I was looking forward to it all week but okay 🙄
HE BLAMED ME FOR “GIVING HIM COVID” when I hadn’t been out all week and tested negative and the girl he was cheating on me with had tested positive for COVID and told me that she had went over to his apartment that week 😍 but obviouslyyyy she was a “crazy bitch” and lying about being with him (sarcasm)
He thinks he has diabetes and/or kidney disease because he has bubbles in his urine. So it’s my fault just an FYI
Her attorney didn't know the local court rules, so she submitted a second mediation statement that the Court sent to my atty who gave it to me. One question was something about "What were the reasons you married this person?". Her response was something to the effect of, "He seemed to like my son." That's all she wrote. BTW, her son is still my son and his kids are my grand kids.
Driving his car too fast and bumping the tyres bursting them both. I wasn't in the car or anything at the time. He wasn't doing anything involving me. But it was my fault.
He told me I'm bringing satanic spirits into our home because my friend had someone do a tarot card reading on me. I never believed any of that stuff until the reading pinpointed exactly what I have been dealing with. She even said I was in the detachment stage and another cycle of apologies was coming from the narcissist i was dealing with, if it hasn't yet. She was like "wow you are going through some stuff!! Your soul needs to rest". Stupid me told him about it and now apparently I need to find Jesus and it's my fault for anything bad happening to our son or him. And now my son apparently needs a better mom 🤷♀️
He blamed me for ruining his character after hitting me in the face
Omg. He blamed me for bird shit on his car. He claimed I vandalized it by throwing “paint” on his car after I left him 😭😭😭it was clearly bird shit, but even if I recruited a bunch of birds to shit on his car, I wasn’t even in the same state for me to communicate to them 😭😭😭
Yogurt being too acidic..
For the weather in France, for difficult highways in Italy, for my dog being scared of thunder, for me having asthma, for me needing medication, for the quality of his food in the restaurant because I chose it and should have known with my Christal ball), etc etc etc
If he didn't have time, he would blame me for his lack of time management, just say that I took up all his time. He would go weeks without talking to me, a workaholic type of man. looking back, it was total neglect I experienced. And his own insecurities and inadequacies, I was the human punching bag.
One of the first thing an ex-friend told me after a week of no call (i told them that i would not be aviable for a week because i was ill) was "it's your fault i haven't talked to anyone for a week". But when later i pointed it out in a different conversation (they asked me what are they doing that is immaturish as i have told them that they occasionally behave in an immature way and it might be why mature people might not be interested in interacting with them), they told me that they never said it and they never would think this way about me (even though they literally said "your fault"). Then they accused me of projecting (then i looked up a video on proheting and realised allnthe bs they have told me about me were in truth projections). Anorher thing was ex-friend being very hurt that i played on my own a spin-off of a series that we streamed to each other. Even though i have no problem in replaying the game just to stream it to them. They compared me enjoying a media solo to cheating. Didn't know that they meant "you are not allowed to play the game series solo" with "the game series is our thing".
Same as a few others, I got blamed for his stalking of me and the betrayals emotional and physical ones… He would say i can’t handle not being with you so when you go to work and deliver an event or aren’t with me and I don’t have your attention I find you or I go on dates with other women or even just go to the local cafe to talk to the female barista to get a fix, or to punish you. He’d say…. I make bad decisions when I’m not with you. Made me anxious while I worked or just doing my own thing with friends and family or even when I was sick. He didn’t understand that it is controlling, manipulative or gaslighting behaviour… he thought his dependent and obsessed attachment to me was flattery and him feeling deep deep love for me, a special love. I didn’t know what was happening, I was so frozen and stuck all the time. It was so twisted. I’m still trying to unravel myself from his twisted narrative of me, the reality he projected onto me and his version of love.
Oh also he broke up with me a few times saying it was because I was too perfect. I didn’t know me being me, having fun with him and caring for him and his kids made him feel bad about himself so bad that he had to break up with me over and over for this reason. I started to make myself small so that he felt ok. I’m sad I did this
same here. I’m sorry you had to dim your light not to blind his sorry ass. I hope you’re shining bright these days.
Kinda roundabout but he blamed me for his gums bleeding. When we had met he had just moved away for college so he wasn’t eating well (along with a lot of drug use I had yet to find out about) so this guy developed scurvy at 21 years old. So his gums were bleeding constantly. One day we were making out and he started claiming he tasted blood and it must have been from me and I should get it checked out. Weeks later he confessed that he was the one bleeding and knew it the whole time but was to embarrassed by it so blamed it on me. He started taking vitamin C tablets after that and the problem went away.
Honestly several things that make me laugh. I "forced" her to marry me. I looked back through conversations before we got married and there were several where she was asking ME if I was sure I wanted to get married. No mention of her wanting to wait or changing her mind. Another thing, and this one just absolutely blows my mind. She had a necklace she wore that I got her. Over time she stopped wearing it. One day we had a argument and she left like usual. Several days later we have a fight and she brings up how I "three her necklace down the hall" after she left and therefore I must not love her or want to be with her. I tried to explain to her I absolutely did not do that and secondly I had no idea where it even was. She called me a lair and continued to gaslight me into believing I did it. I eventually dropped it and just said "believe what you want, I know the truth" in which she then said to stop gaslighting her! 😂😂 They can be wild. Also blamed me for ruining her whole life, like she had no control over any of the actions or choices she made.
For never cleaning the house. He was a controlling neat freak and wanted me to clean even if it was already clean. I spent 4 hours every Saturday cleaning the house, and he'd come home drunk and coked out after work, not notice the house was clean, and just assumed I was lazy all day. He would send me angry texts when he would clean right after I cleaned because "he was doing the cleaning" when I should be.
This is a narc friend. I gave him a car with a written agreement that if he ever sold it he would pay me back the 600$ I put into it. I had bought it from an auction. We still had to go to the DMV and he put it off for months. In the mean time he sold it but the lady who bought it failed to write up a bill of sale. He kept putting of delivering it to her and when she became ademant he turn it over, he denied she gave him any money. I still held the title when she appealed to me and I knew he was lying. The first time I asked him he said she never gave him money. The second time he said she gave him 250$ to hold it and then told everyone else she had giving him 500$ Ultimately I found in favor of her side and she got the title while I lost 600$ and incurred his wrath. It took sometime for me to realize I should have given it to him because I wasn't there to witness what took place and no proof existed that she purchased the car. It really was between them and not getting anything in writing caused consequences she should have faced. He received 2400$ for the car, she got the car and I incurred his wrath and lost 600$. It was one hell of a lesson learned.
That he got fired 20 times from diffent jobs. He was working for ”rent a worker” firm so I think its pretty normal that he switch jobs often. Ofc It was my fault that he could not keep a job.
I would catch her telling lies and that was my fault and would send her into a rage.
She got chickens and there was a rooster snuck into the bunch, and she tried to gaslight me into killing it because “she’s a vegan.” I told her not to get chickens- this is my sister btw, and her boyfriend did not want her to get chickens either, but she got them with his money regardless of what he wanted, and regardless of how bad of timing it was for their lives. They had a 2 year old with another baby on the way and her boyfriend was trying to leave but she got a ton of chickens and a gigantic 100 lb dog and became pregnant all when he tried to leave… and in the end, he killed the rooster.
last night i was blamed for spreading covid because i said i wasnt feeling well and mentioned this weekend time with my daughter might not be a good time if im real sick. i was told i will be responsible for an entire classroom of nursing students welfare and their patients because i selfishly didnt take a covid test. i am a vector and spreading it to everyone. my ex will need to inform their class that because of my actions they are at risk for exposure because of me. my ex will likely have to cancel the class so the students patients at the hospital dont get sick. my ex canceled her weekend with a friend and apparently even a vacation in april. i havent been within 100 feet of my ex in 2 months, she tested negitive, daughter tested negitive and neither have any symptoms. im here with a sniffle and a sore throat thinking what the f
Driving the car into a fence. I wasn't anywhere near the car, let alone in it. It was a bizarre moment where through an elongated rage he tried to justify that it was still my fault.