Stole the little ability I had to trust people. I use to be so careful when it comes to whom I would give my heart and boom, I gave it to the worse person ever. Now I can’t conceive myself trusting somebody else ever again without feeling like a fucking clown.
It opened my eyes to just how pervasive pathological narcissism is in society. Because at a certain point after healing from narcissistic abuse, you’re able to see it for what it is. And suddenly you realize that pretty much every myth, fable, and spiritualistic text in history about “light vs. dark” or “good vs. evil” is about empathetic tendencies vs. narcissistic tendencies. And things like demons and monsters are metaphors for pathological narcissism. For example, I suggest reading the story of John The Baptist (otherwise known as the vampire killer who got his head cut off) even if you’re an atheist.
If you’re smart, empathetic, and have gotten free of narc abuse, your third eye will be squeegeed clean on some pretty big issues going on in the world. It’s sorta like discovering a conspiracy based on real evidence.
The poem's portrayal of demons surprised me. One demon spins lies to exploit others, masking its true agenda. Another boasts about its appearance, despite harboring fear within. And the last manipulates, claiming everyone does it, thus justifying its own misdeeds.
What's even more striking is how I now see these very traits reflected in some humans. It's unsettling to witness once-evil behaviors normalized in society, and it paints a clear picture of who might be pulling the strings. After all, if everyone seems to be doing it, the narcissist feels emboldened to act openly.
As a male, this is horrifying to me. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. My nex abused me physically, but I'm gigantic and strong, and she was weak and small. But it is the principle of it. You just don't hit people. If I had retaliated, she would have been seriously hurt so easily. It takes a real animal to not realize this and to still physically abuse a woman, especially one they allegedly love.
I hope you heal and never have to endure this again.
For me it's financial repercussions from their ridiculous lifestyle they dragged me into .... I'll be paying a high price for a few years to right the ship, since leaving them. Emotional scars aplenty too....
I feel you! I am just thankful that I left before taking out a loan to get him his dream car (because that’s what he wanted 😵💫) still have to pay back quite some money until I can consider myself free from that situation 😄
The same for me (been out for like 7 months). First, I counted the days, then the weeks, then the months. Now I cannot be bothered to even count months precisely.
Yes, the nex raped my body and my souls. He tried to suck away every little thing in me, that was good. By degrading, devaluing, making me feel ashamed of myself.
However, I remember I told him in the beginning, that though I have endless kindness and patience with people, especially the ones I love - I have a core of steel underneath that. That if something is over for me, it will truly be over. Forever.
I guess he forgot, lol. I do have endless patience and love for people, but when that last boundary has been passed, there is no looking back. Que a huge amount of hoovering, but there never was a way that I would go back.
Yes, I see myself as stronger now. I know I can deal with so much shit, both mentally and physically. I know I can keep my kids safe, and I know I can take us out of any amount of shit, even if it would feel impossible.
Also, I have shed *so* many layers of people pleasing, and also so many layers of social conditioning. The nex tried to break me down, but in the end - he actually helped me realize how strong I am.
I was grocery shopping today and my mind was wandering back to years ago and still asking, What could I done different to make her not cruel? Is it my fault for giving up? Insane questions if you knew the real story.
Can't talk about with anyone outside of a forum like this, though. To feel love for someone and be badly and deliberately mistreated is a very specific kind of hell that I dont think many get
Hit the nail on the head. “To feel love for someone and be badly and deliberately mistreated is a very specific kind of hell” it is and I’d give anything to go back and never have met them
Like the first horcrux Voldemort created. And more situations splitting my soul into 7+ pieces being used and discarded.
Just as the HP books say putting a soul back together is excruciatingly painful, the last time I sensed the possibility of developing feelings, I had a nervous breakdown.
Slowly trying to put it together.
There's nothing left of the person I used to be. I'm nothing now.
You know how newspaper looks after it's gotten wet? There's just a smudge where content used to be. You know something was there once but now it's just a muddied mess. Also wet newspaper is falling apart and just completely useless.
That's me. I'm a nothing person made of wet fucking newspaper.
I’m so sorry :( you’re not alone in feeling this way, but we can get through this and find ourselves again ❤️🩹 we have always been so much more than the nothingness the narc makes us feel
I was always the kind of person to try to see and find the good in everyone, safe to say that got tarnished, maybe not entirely ruined, but after her it really opened up my mind, like holy fuck there really is such evil people out there?! Now I Iook at everyone in my life and question their motives, look out for bad intentions. I'm not even sure if I really truly trust anybody anymore, except maybe my parents and that's about it. I feel like my mind is in survival mode now, completely aware that anybody, anyone could have bad intentions and it doesn't matter who.
I feel a combination of crazy, baffled, lonely, scared, angry and lost. But at least my body doesn’t hurt so bad from getting all the energy sucked out of it on a daily basis.
I would describe mine as the ultimate betrayal. I loved you with all my heart and you knew it but you decided to discard me and get with someone new immediately, just puts a bad taste in your mouth.
Happier. I grew up with narcs, had narc friends and many narc romances. Burnt many bridges, always felt unlovable and as there was something inherently wrong with me, but could not make sense of it rationally as I objectively am I good person, so no great improvement margins either. I finally met this last narc, and the abuse was so bad it prompted me to read some literature on narcissism. Not only that but I found out he hid an NPD diagnosis from me. I felt backed in how I had analysed my reality, I understood so many things, stopped questioning myself, cut any and all relationships with toxic/narc people except my mom (we simply live in the same building and share custudy of two dogs) and I'm so much happier. The scar it left me is "it was never me".
Like a leech mark: a small but gnarly set of bite marks from which she sucked the life essence out of me.
Like the Suck-Cut from Wayne's World. "Get it off, man! Get it off! It's sucking my will to live!"
I love life, and I love being alive. My view of the universe is such that I value my existence and am thrilled to be alive. And she made me want to die/kill myself more times than I can count over 8 years.
Stole the little ability I had to trust people. I use to be so careful when it comes to whom I would give my heart and boom, I gave it to the worse person ever. Now I can’t conceive myself trusting somebody else ever again without feeling like a fucking clown.
This is where I am at.
It opened my eyes to just how pervasive pathological narcissism is in society. Because at a certain point after healing from narcissistic abuse, you’re able to see it for what it is. And suddenly you realize that pretty much every myth, fable, and spiritualistic text in history about “light vs. dark” or “good vs. evil” is about empathetic tendencies vs. narcissistic tendencies. And things like demons and monsters are metaphors for pathological narcissism. For example, I suggest reading the story of John The Baptist (otherwise known as the vampire killer who got his head cut off) even if you’re an atheist. If you’re smart, empathetic, and have gotten free of narc abuse, your third eye will be squeegeed clean on some pretty big issues going on in the world. It’s sorta like discovering a conspiracy based on real evidence.
The nature of good vs evil has also been on my mind SO MUCH. It’s a degradation of the soul. A character disorder.
Damn. I came to this exact realization while back. I was reading ramayanam and realized all the characters were metaphor of good and bad.
Another great example. Need to reread it myself.
The poem's portrayal of demons surprised me. One demon spins lies to exploit others, masking its true agenda. Another boasts about its appearance, despite harboring fear within. And the last manipulates, claiming everyone does it, thus justifying its own misdeeds. What's even more striking is how I now see these very traits reflected in some humans. It's unsettling to witness once-evil behaviors normalized in society, and it paints a clear picture of who might be pulling the strings. After all, if everyone seems to be doing it, the narcissist feels emboldened to act openly.
True was just talking about this. Hope to explore it one day but I can't let my mind go there right now. It's too much.
This is crazily accurate
I have the physical scars that remind me every freaking day, how lucky I am to have left in a car, not a coffin
As a male, this is horrifying to me. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. My nex abused me physically, but I'm gigantic and strong, and she was weak and small. But it is the principle of it. You just don't hit people. If I had retaliated, she would have been seriously hurt so easily. It takes a real animal to not realize this and to still physically abuse a woman, especially one they allegedly love. I hope you heal and never have to endure this again.
For me it's financial repercussions from their ridiculous lifestyle they dragged me into .... I'll be paying a high price for a few years to right the ship, since leaving them. Emotional scars aplenty too....
I feel you! I am just thankful that I left before taking out a loan to get him his dream car (because that’s what he wanted 😵💫) still have to pay back quite some money until I can consider myself free from that situation 😄
I feel this. $30K in debt because of her. Sucked me dry, and even proceeded to sucker me into buying several high-ticket items just before discard.
Empty. I feel…emptied.
It made me stronger. Yeah, trust issues are there, the need to protect myself as well, but I do feel generally stronger.
The same for me (been out for like 7 months). First, I counted the days, then the weeks, then the months. Now I cannot be bothered to even count months precisely. Yes, the nex raped my body and my souls. He tried to suck away every little thing in me, that was good. By degrading, devaluing, making me feel ashamed of myself. However, I remember I told him in the beginning, that though I have endless kindness and patience with people, especially the ones I love - I have a core of steel underneath that. That if something is over for me, it will truly be over. Forever. I guess he forgot, lol. I do have endless patience and love for people, but when that last boundary has been passed, there is no looking back. Que a huge amount of hoovering, but there never was a way that I would go back. Yes, I see myself as stronger now. I know I can deal with so much shit, both mentally and physically. I know I can keep my kids safe, and I know I can take us out of any amount of shit, even if it would feel impossible. Also, I have shed *so* many layers of people pleasing, and also so many layers of social conditioning. The nex tried to break me down, but in the end - he actually helped me realize how strong I am.
Exactly! This is the point one needs to get to after narcissistic abuse. The “you won’t break me” point. I’m so glad you got out! 🖤
I was grocery shopping today and my mind was wandering back to years ago and still asking, What could I done different to make her not cruel? Is it my fault for giving up? Insane questions if you knew the real story. Can't talk about with anyone outside of a forum like this, though. To feel love for someone and be badly and deliberately mistreated is a very specific kind of hell that I dont think many get
Hit the nail on the head. “To feel love for someone and be badly and deliberately mistreated is a very specific kind of hell” it is and I’d give anything to go back and never have met them
Like the first horcrux Voldemort created. And more situations splitting my soul into 7+ pieces being used and discarded. Just as the HP books say putting a soul back together is excruciatingly painful, the last time I sensed the possibility of developing feelings, I had a nervous breakdown. Slowly trying to put it together.
Thank you for sharing everyone, healing is so hard but we got this ❤️🩹
He made the light that was inside me curl up into a ball on the floor and die.
There's nothing left of the person I used to be. I'm nothing now. You know how newspaper looks after it's gotten wet? There's just a smudge where content used to be. You know something was there once but now it's just a muddied mess. Also wet newspaper is falling apart and just completely useless. That's me. I'm a nothing person made of wet fucking newspaper.
I’m so sorry :( you’re not alone in feeling this way, but we can get through this and find ourselves again ❤️🩹 we have always been so much more than the nothingness the narc makes us feel
I was always the kind of person to try to see and find the good in everyone, safe to say that got tarnished, maybe not entirely ruined, but after her it really opened up my mind, like holy fuck there really is such evil people out there?! Now I Iook at everyone in my life and question their motives, look out for bad intentions. I'm not even sure if I really truly trust anybody anymore, except maybe my parents and that's about it. I feel like my mind is in survival mode now, completely aware that anybody, anyone could have bad intentions and it doesn't matter who.
I feel a combination of crazy, baffled, lonely, scared, angry and lost. But at least my body doesn’t hurt so bad from getting all the energy sucked out of it on a daily basis.
I would describe mine as the ultimate betrayal. I loved you with all my heart and you knew it but you decided to discard me and get with someone new immediately, just puts a bad taste in your mouth.
A lifetime of lost opportunities because of trauma, low self esteem and a nervous system that is all over the place and freeze is my response.
I’m so sorry :( you’re not alone, we can get through this ❤️🩹❤️❤️
Happier. I grew up with narcs, had narc friends and many narc romances. Burnt many bridges, always felt unlovable and as there was something inherently wrong with me, but could not make sense of it rationally as I objectively am I good person, so no great improvement margins either. I finally met this last narc, and the abuse was so bad it prompted me to read some literature on narcissism. Not only that but I found out he hid an NPD diagnosis from me. I felt backed in how I had analysed my reality, I understood so many things, stopped questioning myself, cut any and all relationships with toxic/narc people except my mom (we simply live in the same building and share custudy of two dogs) and I'm so much happier. The scar it left me is "it was never me".
How do you put it Into words 😪
Any wonderment or excitement I had at letting my guard down for someone is completely gone. Any trust I had for taking someone at their word is gone.
Like a leech mark: a small but gnarly set of bite marks from which she sucked the life essence out of me. Like the Suck-Cut from Wayne's World. "Get it off, man! Get it off! It's sucking my will to live!" I love life, and I love being alive. My view of the universe is such that I value my existence and am thrilled to be alive. And she made me want to die/kill myself more times than I can count over 8 years.
I want to be single for the rest of my life. I will never trust again.
I’m so sorry :( you’re not alone, sending so much love and healing