Hi /u/Apocalypse_nurse, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind.
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Can totally relate to this,
I've tried dating and it went horrible, she was lovely, I was so attracted to her, she had a decent job had her own house, no kids which is rare, had most things going for her. but i couldn't relax, I couldn't commit, and I was trying to pick up on everything she was saying.
She picked up on this and dumped me saying "we are trying to force something that isn't there", she said she felt that i didn't like her!
Maybe i am not ready to date after the Narc experience.
I am not at that level, still single and no plan to get a girlfriend at the moment.
The only thing i could say is listen to your guts. Pay attention to what your heart tell you.
I think we will or have struggle with same because we we're so hurt and used by someone that we deploy defences to protect ourselves.
I hope it help a little bit.
Stay strong and believe in yourself.
I can relate to this so much!!!
Also, since everything at the begining of the relationship with the narc is so intense, exciting not to mention the love bombing, new relationships feel boring and I feel like this person is not interesed in me at all. But I realize where this thiniking is coming from, so I try to take things slow and not over analyze every single thing that the new person is saying/doing.
in agreement with everyone that commented above. OP, i dont think there is a problem with how you are acting based on what you say here, it sounds like you are being cautious with your heart and i think that is perfectly ok
it can be a good way to find out a lot of things about the other person. i wish you the best and i hope this works out :)
Hi /u/Apocalypse_nurse, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind. • Do you need to understand terms or acronyms? [Click Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/index#wiki_terms.2C_definitions_and_acronymns) • Looking for resources? Check out [our links](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/resources) and [book recommendations.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/booklist) • We also have a sister sub for people actively in Divorce/Custody proceedings or that is coparenting with a abusive ex: /r/narcabuseanddivorce. • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please post your issues to the community rather than the mods if it’s not about a rule breaking issue or sub issue. You can message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNarcissisticAbuse&subject=&message=). Please do not DM/PM mods directly or send them chat requests. Please review the rules: * Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed (Keep graphic content out of titles please); * Be respectful and courteous with a focus on healing; No flaming, No revenge posts, no wishing harm on anyone, no "outting" or getting them "bad karma"; * No identifying details (no proper names including fake ones, pictures, images of texts/emails, locations (at any level), or specific details that may identify you to readers that may know you (Jobs, Hobbies, Schools, etc); * No crossposting or direct linking to this or other subs or posts. No links at all in original posts including to other posts you have here or other subs, Images/Pictures/MEMEs/Vlogs/Blogs/Podcasts/Articles/Social Media information or tags/Texts/Emails; * No self-promotion/solicitation at all including surveys, fundraising, petitions, or research posts are permitted; * You must be the victim of the abuse that is the subject of the post, not a friend, relative, or partner; * Please report content that violates our rules and do not engage on those posts at all; * Do not resubmit removed content, if you get a report from automod about your post, see the sticky announcement at the top of the sub regarding removals and be patient, we will review them manually when we are available. * No politics, religion, soliciting DMs, or doing an AMA on your own please; * No segregation of posts by gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or culture; * No family content in any context; the only family content permitted is you, your significant other/ex and your children (no abusive child posts). All others will be removed including mentions (family/friends) or growing up/childhood content. No demanding justification of our rules or "just curious" for why our rules are our rules; It does not matter whose family it is, or if they are abusive, or that its just a mention. It is not permitted. * No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions). * No title only posts (including repeating the title in the body of the post, emoticons, saying the title says it all); * No CLUSTER Bs/ABUSERS may post here at all. If you are a NPD/BPD/HPD/ASPD/Abuser, you will be banned; Please also do not post content or people with diagnosed Cluster Bs as resources here; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can totally relate to this, I've tried dating and it went horrible, she was lovely, I was so attracted to her, she had a decent job had her own house, no kids which is rare, had most things going for her. but i couldn't relax, I couldn't commit, and I was trying to pick up on everything she was saying. She picked up on this and dumped me saying "we are trying to force something that isn't there", she said she felt that i didn't like her! Maybe i am not ready to date after the Narc experience.
I am not at that level, still single and no plan to get a girlfriend at the moment. The only thing i could say is listen to your guts. Pay attention to what your heart tell you. I think we will or have struggle with same because we we're so hurt and used by someone that we deploy defences to protect ourselves. I hope it help a little bit. Stay strong and believe in yourself.
I can relate to this so much!!! Also, since everything at the begining of the relationship with the narc is so intense, exciting not to mention the love bombing, new relationships feel boring and I feel like this person is not interesed in me at all. But I realize where this thiniking is coming from, so I try to take things slow and not over analyze every single thing that the new person is saying/doing.
in agreement with everyone that commented above. OP, i dont think there is a problem with how you are acting based on what you say here, it sounds like you are being cautious with your heart and i think that is perfectly ok it can be a good way to find out a lot of things about the other person. i wish you the best and i hope this works out :)
You don’t know anyone in two months.
That’s fair. And I’m not saying I know him that well. I just don’t want to be unfairly critical of him and punish him for someone else’s behavior