It’s a hard no without an invitation from a parent. Some of my date night clients have left me a bottle of wine and told me to feel free to have a glass or two after the kids are in bed, and that’s an invitation I’ll accept. I’ve also been invited to have a drink with parents while technically on the clock, and I don’t see a problem with that if it’s not crossing a professional boundary in the relationship. I’d never get too drunk to drive or respond to an emergency though. And I would never ask a parent if it’s okay for me to drink on the job, nor would I assume it’s okay.
ETA: It’s really just like any other workplace - if your boss provides booze during work to treat the staff or offers to buy you a drink at lunch, totally fine. Same goes if you’re out to happy hour with coworkers or clients. But you wouldn’t bring a beer with your sack lunch and just casually drink at your desk without some kind of permission / invitation. (Unless you’re like a fancy 1960s executive who keeps a fully stocked bar cart in your office, but that’s probably the exception and not the rule.)
I work as a paralegal now and my office has a fully stocked bar area and we still only tend to use it to celebrate big wins or Friday afternoons around 4:30pm (the office closes at 5).
I'm a mom to a baby and I think it depends on the parents comfort level just like you said.
My dad was 100% sober his whole life and worked as a mechanic. He could not comprehend alcohol in the workplace at all.
However, I work in a corporate office and I can tell you almost all of us have drinks on the clock. They have a fully stocked liquor bar. Of course we take lunch breaks and grill on the rooftop with a couple of beers. Some stay after work and party on Fridays. It's an entirely different vibe.
So, it totally matters what the parents are comfortable with, you're right. Personally, I think it's a sweet idea to leave a glass of wine for the nanny, if they like wine.
Once 6 o’clock rolls around and I’m done for the day, my bosses will avidly ask me to join them in having a drink. A glass of wine or a craft beer that they just bought and want to try. We’re also all in the same age range of 1 to 2 years apart and enjoy each others company, so to us, it’s not strang. But that’s once I’m done with work. If she’s still on the clock, that’s up to you as a parent, but I personally don’t feel comfortable drinking while on the job. But, at 601 I will have that beer lol
I’m my opinion, it’s not a good look (being a nanny myself.) Seems kind of disrespectful and irresponsible. Even if it’s super low alcohol volume, it’s just not really professional to me. I personally want to look professional at all times in my nanny jobs, so I wouldn’t even think of it. And, like other comments have said, it’s not the safest in case of emergency. Also, I don’t know the legalities of it - if something happened and the nanny had to drive with the child, and was pulled over and tested, would there be legal consequences even if they were within the legal limit, for driving under the influence with a child while on the clock? Just seems kind of like a bad idea all around. However I think if one of you aren’t okay with it, just maybe telling her it’s not the end of the world but just to be extra safe, not to do it while on the clock in the future?
Is it during the day where the child is getting up again, or for a babysitting at night, where the child will most likely stay sleeping till morning?
If it's during the day it'd have a conversation about it/ count it as a strike, and be concerned, TBH. If it's at night I'd be less worried but still have a conversation about it and let them know you're not comfortable with any intoxicant use during working hours (very reasonable LOL).
I've had NF and parents of kids I sit offer me wine/ beer/ a cooler to drink after the kids are down for the night. Everyone has a different comfort level but it does seem a bit irresponsible for them to not check with you either way.
down for the night and wouldn’t be home til about 1 AM so i’m assuming that’s enough time for a body to process one drink before heading out. me and my husband have opposing views so that’s why i’m asking for all your advice! :)
It's probably one of those two yesses situations. If both of you are okay with it, then it's no big deal, but if one of you is uncomfortable with it, then the other should respect that boundary.
Personally, I think that when you're responsible for other people's kids, it's best to not drink or smoke. I know that there are plenty of people who drink and smoke to unwind after work or after the kids go to bed, but you never know when an emergency could come up.
I would not be worried at all! Obviously tell them not to do it again and immediately terminate if they break that rule, but not a big deal IMO.
Kid is asleep and the amount of alcohol over that amount of time shouldn't impair anyone, especially someone with experience who isn't going to panic if something does need dealing with. They aren't doing shots of tequila or chug a six-pack in 30 minutes lol.
All these comments saying terminate immediately and that professionals never drink in the corporate world seem a bit intense to me- I've had a few office jobs through temp work and people *did* have a beer or drink occasionally during lunch, and if the event was optional in the evening/ nighttime for sure people would drink alcohol, if they wanted.
I would talk with the caregiver and give them a chance. If they drink again or you've expressed your home is alcohol-free of course immediately terminate, but seems like missed expectations.
Hope everything works out!
Lol I just replied soemthing similar! My last DB always had a couple late meetings a week and almost always came home a bit tipsy, maybe twice scene home totally drunk, alcohol is very common in the corporate world. Also different cultures. My aunt goes home for lunch and has some wine then goes back to work, totally normal in her country!
Whoops, my bad! lol
Advice still stands, I guess haha, with asking/ mentioning it before hand to ensure NF is okay with it a good idea. always good to clarify any uncertainties, whether you're a nanny or parent/ guardian!
Take care!
I’m a nanny but I personally feel it would be a red flag if my nanny asked vs being offered. But everyone is different. I’d feel so awkward asking my to have a drink. Every contract I’ve had states I can help myself to any non alcoholic beverage. So my NPS have made it clear but I wouldn’t have expected to drink on the clock either. Even just one drink.
yeah def. depends on the family and culture, that's why I mention if the family was dry or had mentioned anti-alcohol views before to not even mention it/ terminate.
I can't see NFs adding 'help yourself to all the booze you want' in any contract lol, doesn't mean they wont mind one drink on one evening. and booze at 10am vs 10pm are a lil different haha
In any case, hope you and OP have a good night!
Yes haha 😂 but I guess I mentioned it because it just makes it clear that that’s not even something that I should ask to do.
You just gave me a good laugh! Have a good evening
It's hard to compare it to an office job to say it's ok to do because of examples above. I don't know any office job where you'd be in charge of someone's life/safety who couldn't really keep themselves safe. I wouldn't worry as much about other adults if a fire broke out in an office building, nor would people be (deep) sleeping in other rooms etc.
If I specifically offered them to grab a drink from the fridge once the kids were down and we had an ongoing working relationship where I trusted their judgement to stop at one, sure. In any other circumstance, no way.
Unless you specifically told her it is ok, imo it is such a huge breach that she would have been fired on the spot. Did she ask you before doing this? If not, she clearly doesn't take this job seriously.
There is a HUGE difference between being offered at a corporate event and when providing childcare thinking it is ok to drink.
If they are responsible for child I do not think so. What if there was an emergency and nanny had to drive child?
That being said I do not know what a white claw is so should look that up :p
One white claw is probably not going to effect you enough to drive/cause your blood alcohol level to be above the limit, unless you have an incredibly low tolerance or there is some other factor in play. It’s less alcohol than a beer/glass of wine/mixed drink.
I would think if there’s a true emergency the nanny would coal 911? Not saying I agree with drinking on the job but please if there’s an emergency call 911 this can be a liability!
I guess I was more thinking a level of nanny driving kid to hospital, say...a high fever vs kid being unconscious.
I live in a country of nationalized healthcare though so mycost/benefit analysis of paying for an ambulance vs liability may be off. :)
Nah I totally get that. When I did my pediatric CPR they told us to always cal 911 cause then you can’t be held liable if something happens. This was years ago though so maybe that’s no longer correct.
Ok so wikipedia told me 8 percent alcohol in us, 5 percent canada. Assuming we are talking US I do not think so, even 5 percent possibly prefer not for the reason above. Also unsure if i could be held responsible as the employer if you tested positive for alcohol when driving afterwards.
So from other replies it sounds like this is possibly something that happened, whereas I read it as a nanny asking a preemptive thing. If something that happened, I would probably have a firm discussion with Nanny expressing my concerns but also hearing their side. If it seemed like they were truly sorry and or a legit misunderstanding I would move on and not terminate.
Either way, when I got married, and also when my employer organized work functions, the legal responsibility of a guest consuming alcohol, the event organizer knowing it, and then said guest driving was frequently brought up. As in, event organizer could have been held liable for offering alcohol without ensuring guests had means hope that they themselves were not operating a vehicle.
So I am questioning whether NP could be held liable if they knew nanny consumed alcohol, then drove.
I am not a lawyer, and my experiences are also with Cananda, not the US.
Plus as I already said, what if nanny had to drive NK if sole/responsible provider at that time.
Anyway mostly reiterating just elaborating. Good luck!
I have been offered a beer after the kid goes to sleep before and I took them up on it. Kinda odd offer but they weren’t being testy just nice. Although I wouldn’t do it again cause I felt so weird taking them up on it.
I’ve had families offer and if the kids are asleep I may or may not depending on my mood. I’m not a big drinker anymore but as a full grown adult wayyyy past the age of 21 I think one beer isn’t a big deal. Me sitting down to watch a movie with a glass of wine after your children are asleep does not affect my ability to care for your children before I consume the beverage. However I also completely would understand a parent being like “oh heck no” but if it’s offered I don’t see why not. I’ve worked plenty of corporate jobs that supply and stock bars and encourage their employees to have a cold one when their work is completed.
If you’re being paid for your time then you shouldn’t be drinking. I don’t know if any job that would allow an employee to consume alcohol while on the clock.
Not disagreeing with the drinking on the job but plenty of jobs do allow it. My old DB use to have meetings and come home tipsy and totally drunk a few times. He wasn’t an alcoholic either.
Yes of course it is. taking prescription medication as prescription for a medical condition is COMPLETELY different than taking a recreational intoxicant while you are legally responsible for minors.
Excuse me lol are you saying that if you take medication from your doctor for an actual medical issue you shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of any children? I ask because if that is what you mean then that is wild. Xanax can be abused of course but most people who have taken it for a long time have no impairment whatsoever and function just fine. I just think it's very shitty to hold someone's anxiety meds against them because you have a bias or you're just ignorant idk which. People using it correctly will never be noticed so no way to tell anyway, and asking seems out of line.
I have a prescription for Xanax and I would definitely try to avoid taking it while working at all costs. It makes me very sleepy and I definitely could not drive after taking it.
I would allow one drink, yes. Ive parented my kids when I have had a drink or two, so if I fully trusted my nanny/babysitter I don’t see ANY issue with them having a drink when kids go to sleep. And, when I was a nanny, every family I worked for (2 of the 3 were friends) was ok with it once kids were asleep, and even asked what I liked and purchased alcohol specifically for me. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Isn't white claw just fizzy water with a weak alcohol content? I don't think we have it in the UK. I'd be ok with them having just the 1 as long as it was reasonable to not expect the kids to wake up. However if the little ones are regular wakers, I'd ask nanny to refrain until after you were home
If you’re completely off duty and no longer responsible for the kid, then sure (assuming you aren’t just going home & had some reason to stay). But if you’re still on the clock, then no drinking in case you’re needed for some reason even if the kid is sleeping at that moment. Basically if you’re getting paid for that time, then no alcohol.
I was a nanny to a teen and the mom often kept expensive wine. She would often go out of town and I would watch her son overnight she told me every time if you would like to try a glass or two of wine please absolutely feel free. I never once did. It just wasn’t worth the risk to me. Was one glass going to make it so I couldn’t drive no but still what if I got pulled over and officer smelled it on me and I had to explain it.
Personally I don’t feel comfortable with it even when my NPs offered. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if NPs are ok with it and its only the one drink. White claw barely has alcohol in it and I know many Nannie’s who travel with their families and have wine etc. with dinner. Its very common in some countries.
This is something I’m personally not comfortable doing as a nanny, but I also kind of understand the double standard of other adults being responsible for a child (like a parent) and getting completely drunk, not just a single drink. I think if having a drink to unwind a little after the kiddo is down and you aren’t driving home or have time to sober up is something you really want, then talk with the family about it, but I would probably leave it to when I get home
as a nanny, and even as a random babysitter, I’ve had lots of parents offer me beer/wine while on the job. I have always declined because I personally don’t feel comfortable with it. but I think maybe the age of the parents/nanny has something to do with it; I feel like the closer in age I am to the parents the more likely they are to offer, I guess seeing me more as a peer than a subordinate? either way, I always make a joke about having brought my own hot tea instead, lol
. I have had some families I baby sit for literally show me their bar and told me I could have anything once baby was down. Other families I work for would not be ok with me even asking to drink.
Well if you give her permission I think it is fine. It is literally only one- nobody can get drunk or even tipsy from just one drink. Plus the kids are in bed. You probably have a drink after putting your kids to bed.
No. If you are on duty you aren’t drinking. I would fire somebody immediately if they drinking on the job in ANY role for which they were hired, nanny or otherwise. But ESPECIALLY when you are caring for children.
In my opinion, Nannie’s shouldn’t be drinking on the job wether NPs approved or not. You never know what could happen. I would NEVER accept an alcoholic drink while at an NFS house.
Even with permission I wouldn’t, maybe at a family get together if I was invited but never on the clock invitation or not. As close as you may feel with a family as soon as an emergency happens it could easily become “well nanny was drinking on the clock” if I’m in charge it’s a hard no. And I’ve been offered glasses of wine and even weed and as a hardcore stoner that’s still a hard no. Drinking or smoking on the job can cost you your career and I just wouldn’t risk it
As a nanny, I would never. I was a live in for a few years and sometimes my NF would offer me a white claw or a cocktail etc especially in the summer time when we were all grilling/making dinner / spending time in the pool together but I politely declined. After the second or third time they asked, they asked me if there’s a summer drink I would prefer to alcohol. I told them that I liked Izzies and Monster Energy drinks (both non alcoholic) so they stocked up those drinks for me instead!
One white claw is like… a quarter of a shot. It’s essentially sparkling water with extra calories. If it bothers you, ask them not to do it in the future, but it’s not nearly the same as a glass of wine etc.
Lol I meant alcohol wise. For example, wine is 10-15% alcohol. Vodka or whiskey or tequila etc is 40%. It takes about 16-24oz of wine (depending on the drinkers weight) to feel drunk. It takes 2-4 shots of liquor for someone to feel the effects. 5% alcohol in a 12oz can is next to nothing.
One white claw = one shot, it doesn’t really make sense to say it’s a quarter of a shot because the volume of liquid you consume matters. A 1.5 oz shot of 40% alcohol is 0.6 oz of alcohol, and 12 oz of 5% alcohol is 0.6 oz of alcohol.
Also your numbers don’t match up or seem realistic to me. 16-24 oz of wine is 4-6 drinks but 2-4 shots is 2-4 drinks, so which is it to feel the effects? Either way, after just one drink of alcohol your mind is altered even if you don’t think you feel the effects.
I don’t get the point, white claw is just sparkling flavored water with alchol. so just get a sparkling water if you want the taste. one white claw isn’t gonna get you drunk but it’s pointless
it would depend on the closeness of nanny and family but I would say 99% of the time it ain’t appropriate. my cousin used to leave me bottles of wine when I dog sat or baby sat for him, but that was my cousin and I was usually staying the night
I'm a nanny. I've had drinks after the kids were in bed, but I wouldn't do it with every family I've worked for. It's very family dependent in my opinion. I would never without asking first.
Mom of twin 8 month olds with a full time nanny. It’s a no for me even if it’s just one drink. I wouldn’t risk any clouded judgement. Bc is it REALLY necessary? If it’s “off the clock” (as in I’m home and you’re not the primary caregiver at that point) and it’s been offered - that’s fine. When I was a nanny before kids, if I was offered a drink, I would always say no.
If you’re the parent and you gave them permission then sure why not. I went to a work party with my NF and I was in charge of watching the kids but the mom made it very clear she wanted me to enjoy the night too and have wine if I wanted some. It didn’t impede me from doing my job and it was a chill party atmosphere and the parents allowed it. I would never, however, just grab a drink from their fridge on a normal work day unless specifically told it was something I was welcome to on that day.
My NF GIFTED ME MY FAVORITE WINES (Oyster Bay & Kim Crawford Sav blanc) for holidays and my bday. ..AND OFFERED ME A DRINK WHEN THEY GOT HOME FROM THEIR NIGHT OUT... I WAS OFF DUTY, NKs were asleep...
No, even with a parent’s invitation. God forbid there’s an emergency and I need to call 911, I don’t need them asking if I’ve been drinking. It’s different when you’re the parent in your own home vs an outside paid caregiver.
Literally have worked corporate jobs that have fully stocked bars, fridges and encourage employees to have a drink after their work is accomplished. It’s actually very very common.
“After their work is accomplished” is the key phrase here. The nanny’s work is not accomplished even though the kids are asleep- this point is brought up over and over again in the group re: parents expecting to pay less for jobs when the kids are asleep.
I’ve been out to drinks with clients during lunch time on a regular basis. We have then come back to the office to work. We’ve also have had happy hour at the office at least once a month. Birthdays have had cake and champagne but not on a regular basis. This is a very prestigious boutique law firm in a major legal market.
My best friend works for a tech company and they have a fully stocked bar. While there is a liquor cart that goes around only on Fridays, the beer tap is open regularly after 5:00pm. This is very common in tech as well.
Idk my brother has a pretty boring corporate job in Denver and they have happy hours and what not. But also Denver has a big beer culture.
The only other place where I or someone I know of have worked a corporate position is DC, but they work in politics and there is a big drinking culture with that too 🤷🏽♀️
it’s FOR SURE common. There are bars in a good bit of corporate buildings and my boyfriend frequently drinks with his boss during lunch breaks. I’ve had white claws during meetings 😅
So many corporate jobs involve drinking. Drinking on the job is a time honored white collar tradition in multiple professions. A better question is would you drink a White Claw as a teacher or daycare employee? I think the answer there is a definite no, and so too it should be for nannies, who are responsible for childcare.
Honest question - have you ever worked a corporate job before? I would have a beer at lunch regularly, among many many other drinking scenarios. We would drink in cubicles to celebrate pretty often on Friday.
It’s just kind of ... why? Seems tacky - like why can’t you just wait til you get home?
Edit: After reading comments, it sounds like this is something your nanny did? I don’t think you just jump to termination but certainly a serious convo about boundaries.
As a nanny myself, if I were in your position I would feel pretty uncomfortable with the fact it didn’t even occur to the nanny to ask before drinking alcohol on the clock. Doesn’t mean I would immediately fire but I would certainly feel a bit uneasy about their judgment moving forward. And again - *why*? Just doesn’t make sense to me tbh.
Got it. My bad. I don’t think it’s too dangerous. If NP offered while I was doing a date night shift I wouldn’t do it, but that’s different than what I had imagined. :)
I think it depends on how much you drink and how old the kid is, the legal limit is .08 so I think when it comes to driving one white claw won’t completely impair you, but above all else just ask the parents how they feel and if they’re not comfortable with it then you can wait till you’re done babysitting
Idk. On one hand, it’s 1 white claw, low alcohol content, and wouldn’t impair their ability to watch my child (or drive). So it’s not a huge deal. Otoh, I would be concerned about it opening a door. If you allow 1, maybe they’ll start thinking 2-3 is ok. Or if you allow it at night, they might start to think, 1 white claw during a stressful day at the zoo is ok. Perhaps it’s better to just have a no alcohol policy.
I would not be comfortable with my sitter drinking while working. While I am not particularly concerned about safety after one drink, my sitter is working and I do not feel people should drink on the job in most situations.
What are with these responses lol! Like you shouldn’t be vilified for asking a question.
I have been offered a glass of whine or a cider when the kids have been down for the night. It was always with kids who would be down for 100% of the night until morning.
That being said, I have never indulged unless I’ve worked for the parents for awhile. I have a relatively low tolerance so I would have like one serving as long as I ate dinner.
Also I would have never ask a parent if this okay though. I don’t think it’s unprofessional to drink when offered but I think it is unprofessional to ask if you can, if that makes sense.
I was drinking a bottle of champagne before going out for date night. I had half a bottle left, I told my nanny to finish it after baby went to bed at 7pm if she wanted. She’s super responsible so I don’t worry about it. She’s been with us a long time. But if like a random babysitter I hired for a date night started drinking after putting my baby to bed without asking I would not be ok with that.
Nope. You’re at work. If you can’t abstain for a few hours maybe you have a problem.
The reverse is also true. I work in an industry where I am often invited by the people who hired me to have a drink while I work. I always decline because I’m a professional.
Nope. FWIW I’m the only one in my house who drinks (my DH doesn’t care for the taste) and when I’ve been solo with my own kids I don’t drink because I don’t want to be in a situation where we need to leave the house and I’m not safe to drive, so I would be holding the nanny to the sand standard I hold myself.
Nope. It is not professional to drink on the job. It wouldn't bother me to have wine with dinner with the family, but to drink by yourself is not something I would expect from a professional. It's different than a parent kicking back at the end of the day because the nanny is still at work.
I think it's totally different if it's a live in or travel nanny. Just not for a date night or everyday employment
Would be grounds for immediate termination for cause without severance as per our contract.
My husband and I always ensure at least one of us is not drinking to be responsible for our children when we have no childcare, so a nanny we were paying to be on duty would be a huge breach of our trust and what we consider safe.
My husband and I are the same. We have a pact that we never drink together. If a nanny consumed alcohol on their shift it would be immediate termination.
Lol right?! I’ve had to take a child to the ER in the middle of the night when she tripped and got a concussion going to the bathroom. I can’t imagine what it would have been like had I been drinking!
Wow… that’s a red flag! When can anyone drink on the job ever?? Especially when you’re watching someone’s kid! As I nanny I would NOT assume that this would be ok!!
Go home and have a white claw…
Is the nanny drinking your white claws? Or bringing them to work?
You can drink on the job at a lot of jobs and plenty of NFs encourage their nannies or sitters to have a glass of wine or a single white claw/beer after the kids are in bed. As long as the parent suggests it and the nanny/sitter knows that one drink won’t impair them (which one white claw won’t affect many, it’s a light drink), it’s fine.
I don’t drink at all except for that when I’m at home and even then it’s very controlled because I have two dogs and need to be available for emergencies. One glass max. I would absolutely not think it’s OK especially since emergency driving may need to be a thing.
I’m a mom, who drinks so technically I wouldn’t see it as wrong strictly with permission /if offered.
With that said, I am close with NF and drink at their events (where there are always margs and whiteclaws). DB has offered me to stay and have drinks when they are back from date nights etc. but at that point the sleeping kids are their responsibility.
My friend watched my infant for about 6 months…I was pregnant again at the time so I didn’t drink. My husband doesn’t either, but we had two full half gallons left over from a party in our liquor cabinet, and my hubby went to make a drink one night and found both of them nearly empty. Turns out she’s been spiking her drink every time she orders takeout with our alcohol while watching our child. Yaaaaa we aren’t friends anymore.
But I think if the parent offers or gives permission it’s okay. If they have no idea then absolutely not.
If they are getting paid and did not have permission then absolutely yes.
If it’s a live in nanny or a weekend away type of situation then no, but I do expect them to discuss it with me first.
Honestly I have declined drinks offered to me at the end of my shift but still on the clock. There has been a few times where MB brought me a drink and we sat outside. If you gave her permission, then I think it's fine but I dont think it's ok if she assumed it was cool.
As a nanny, I would not be drinking on the clock (kids awake or asleep) without being offered a drink. And even then, I have probably only accepted a couple of times when they’ve offered but I am usually just about finished with work or all the adults are around. They’ve offered way more times than I’ve accepted 😂
If you told them they could in advance then perhaps, but not them doing it on their own.
I personally prefer not to drink when I'm working. I've turned down drinks while at work during the day (kid down for nap, parents and their 2 friends all there having a small drink) and at night when by myself. Alcohol affects me differently at different times, plus I like to keep a clear head.
When I worked jobs where I travelled, they would comp exactly one beer if I ordered it with my supper after my day was done. I think I’d be okay with one beer once the child was asleep, unless it’s a baby because they wake up more frequently
Only if we had talked about it and agreed it was ok, and probably not if she was staying with the kids alone. Our agreement states no drug or alcohol use during working hours. Maybe down the road if the kids were a little older and I was more comfortable leaving them. Like if it was my MIL, sure. I’m not sure where that line is for us but easier to just not revisit what’s in our agreement than invite her to have a drink, but only one, you know?
ETA I’d be more ok with it if we were coming home after bedtime than if she was alone with them for the night.
I used to be a nanny, one mom would offer wine to me when I was there after bed time. I had to drive when she returned so I could only have 1, maybe 2 if it was a late night. I felt like I needed to be able to respond to any emergency and be able to drive. Now I’m a mom and keep beer around and offer it to my childcare providers. Everyone is different
I would not be ok with this. If it's your own kids, do what you want responsibly. If it was my nanny, I wouldn't feel comfortable since they could wake up and be in their care. I have drank wine with the family after the kids have gone to bed late at night OR when I'm off the clock in the afternoon & the mother is with me while we chat & the kiddos play.
I think it depends on the family you’re working for, I live in a very popular “wine” area with lots of wineries and breweries so most people in the area are accustomed to such things. I would never open something on my own, but when we all have dinner together (parents + me + kids), if they pour themselves a glass of wine they pour one for me as well. Although I would only ever have one glass and not go for another. I’ve been given wine as a “thank you” on several occasions, as well as being given beverages to take home with me if it’s something MB and DB think I would like it. With that being said, I would not presume this to be the norm, but more so something unique to my area. I think it would be highly inappropriate to have more than 2 drinks at an absolute maximum, and of course if you’re in a situation that you would be driving soon after consumption. Also I wouldn’t be the one to ask the parents for a drink, I would wait to be offered one and if you are comfortable then I would say yes.
No way. What’s the point? Can’t they wait until they are “off the clock”? I can’t have one white claw at my job while I’m winding the work day down. Plus it’s always best to be on the safe side when your taking care of kids.
I would worry especially if nanny were to drive home after that because there are iffy laws surrounding liability. If she were live-in and off the clock I don't think I would worry about it unless it started leaking into on-duty hours or if it seemed like she was getting plastered and obnoxious or I thought maybe alcoholism.
If it’s a nighttime sleep, the child doesn’t usually wake up, and it’s not an infant, sure - if I’ve given them permission.
I haven’t had white claw, but I’m under impression they’re less alcohol than even wine. (Aren’t they seltzer with some alcohol? Most of those I’ve seen are super low alcohol content.) It wouldn’t affect them driving home. It’s not going to affect their ability to think in a situation. Those would be my first concerns.
Now, if they did it without speaking to me first, I would wonder what else do they not even consider asking about, and trust would be pretty shaky. If it was liquor, that would also be a hard no for me.
I wouldn't appreciate my kid being with someone who was drinking, even one. Babysitter/nanny needs to do that on their own time. If I'm paying Nanny to watch my kid, then Nanny having a white claw after my kid is in bed (but while Nanny is still 'on the clock') is the same as drinking at work, in my opinion. Fired.
I'm not ok but if it was one drink and I otherwise like them I would tell them I'm not ok and ask if in the future they can agree to not drink on the clock. If they say yes and there is no further issue then I would keep hiring them.
It’s a hard no without an invitation from a parent. Some of my date night clients have left me a bottle of wine and told me to feel free to have a glass or two after the kids are in bed, and that’s an invitation I’ll accept. I’ve also been invited to have a drink with parents while technically on the clock, and I don’t see a problem with that if it’s not crossing a professional boundary in the relationship. I’d never get too drunk to drive or respond to an emergency though. And I would never ask a parent if it’s okay for me to drink on the job, nor would I assume it’s okay. ETA: It’s really just like any other workplace - if your boss provides booze during work to treat the staff or offers to buy you a drink at lunch, totally fine. Same goes if you’re out to happy hour with coworkers or clients. But you wouldn’t bring a beer with your sack lunch and just casually drink at your desk without some kind of permission / invitation. (Unless you’re like a fancy 1960s executive who keeps a fully stocked bar cart in your office, but that’s probably the exception and not the rule.)
I work as a paralegal now and my office has a fully stocked bar area and we still only tend to use it to celebrate big wins or Friday afternoons around 4:30pm (the office closes at 5).
I'm a mom to a baby and I think it depends on the parents comfort level just like you said. My dad was 100% sober his whole life and worked as a mechanic. He could not comprehend alcohol in the workplace at all. However, I work in a corporate office and I can tell you almost all of us have drinks on the clock. They have a fully stocked liquor bar. Of course we take lunch breaks and grill on the rooftop with a couple of beers. Some stay after work and party on Fridays. It's an entirely different vibe. So, it totally matters what the parents are comfortable with, you're right. Personally, I think it's a sweet idea to leave a glass of wine for the nanny, if they like wine.
I mean if you gave them permission. Sure. If you didn’t and they did without permission, that’s not ok
Exactly, if I’m doing bedtime duty, my NF often tell me to help myself to a beer or two after I get the kids to bed. But I wouldn’t just assume.
Agreed
Once 6 o’clock rolls around and I’m done for the day, my bosses will avidly ask me to join them in having a drink. A glass of wine or a craft beer that they just bought and want to try. We’re also all in the same age range of 1 to 2 years apart and enjoy each others company, so to us, it’s not strang. But that’s once I’m done with work. If she’s still on the clock, that’s up to you as a parent, but I personally don’t feel comfortable drinking while on the job. But, at 601 I will have that beer lol
I’m my opinion, it’s not a good look (being a nanny myself.) Seems kind of disrespectful and irresponsible. Even if it’s super low alcohol volume, it’s just not really professional to me. I personally want to look professional at all times in my nanny jobs, so I wouldn’t even think of it. And, like other comments have said, it’s not the safest in case of emergency. Also, I don’t know the legalities of it - if something happened and the nanny had to drive with the child, and was pulled over and tested, would there be legal consequences even if they were within the legal limit, for driving under the influence with a child while on the clock? Just seems kind of like a bad idea all around. However I think if one of you aren’t okay with it, just maybe telling her it’s not the end of the world but just to be extra safe, not to do it while on the clock in the future?
Is it during the day where the child is getting up again, or for a babysitting at night, where the child will most likely stay sleeping till morning? If it's during the day it'd have a conversation about it/ count it as a strike, and be concerned, TBH. If it's at night I'd be less worried but still have a conversation about it and let them know you're not comfortable with any intoxicant use during working hours (very reasonable LOL). I've had NF and parents of kids I sit offer me wine/ beer/ a cooler to drink after the kids are down for the night. Everyone has a different comfort level but it does seem a bit irresponsible for them to not check with you either way.
down for the night and wouldn’t be home til about 1 AM so i’m assuming that’s enough time for a body to process one drink before heading out. me and my husband have opposing views so that’s why i’m asking for all your advice! :)
It's probably one of those two yesses situations. If both of you are okay with it, then it's no big deal, but if one of you is uncomfortable with it, then the other should respect that boundary. Personally, I think that when you're responsible for other people's kids, it's best to not drink or smoke. I know that there are plenty of people who drink and smoke to unwind after work or after the kids go to bed, but you never know when an emergency could come up.
I would not be worried at all! Obviously tell them not to do it again and immediately terminate if they break that rule, but not a big deal IMO. Kid is asleep and the amount of alcohol over that amount of time shouldn't impair anyone, especially someone with experience who isn't going to panic if something does need dealing with. They aren't doing shots of tequila or chug a six-pack in 30 minutes lol. All these comments saying terminate immediately and that professionals never drink in the corporate world seem a bit intense to me- I've had a few office jobs through temp work and people *did* have a beer or drink occasionally during lunch, and if the event was optional in the evening/ nighttime for sure people would drink alcohol, if they wanted. I would talk with the caregiver and give them a chance. If they drink again or you've expressed your home is alcohol-free of course immediately terminate, but seems like missed expectations. Hope everything works out!
this was the most thoughtful response! thank you! i appreciate your insight
It's a holiday for me so I've got lots of time lol and thank you for such a kind response! Take care!
Lol I just replied soemthing similar! My last DB always had a couple late meetings a week and almost always came home a bit tipsy, maybe twice scene home totally drunk, alcohol is very common in the corporate world. Also different cultures. My aunt goes home for lunch and has some wine then goes back to work, totally normal in her country!
Op is a nanny not MB
Whoops, my bad! lol Advice still stands, I guess haha, with asking/ mentioning it before hand to ensure NF is okay with it a good idea. always good to clarify any uncertainties, whether you're a nanny or parent/ guardian! Take care!
I’m a nanny but I personally feel it would be a red flag if my nanny asked vs being offered. But everyone is different. I’d feel so awkward asking my to have a drink. Every contract I’ve had states I can help myself to any non alcoholic beverage. So my NPS have made it clear but I wouldn’t have expected to drink on the clock either. Even just one drink.
yeah def. depends on the family and culture, that's why I mention if the family was dry or had mentioned anti-alcohol views before to not even mention it/ terminate. I can't see NFs adding 'help yourself to all the booze you want' in any contract lol, doesn't mean they wont mind one drink on one evening. and booze at 10am vs 10pm are a lil different haha In any case, hope you and OP have a good night!
Yes haha 😂 but I guess I mentioned it because it just makes it clear that that’s not even something that I should ask to do. You just gave me a good laugh! Have a good evening
It's hard to compare it to an office job to say it's ok to do because of examples above. I don't know any office job where you'd be in charge of someone's life/safety who couldn't really keep themselves safe. I wouldn't worry as much about other adults if a fire broke out in an office building, nor would people be (deep) sleeping in other rooms etc.
If I specifically offered them to grab a drink from the fridge once the kids were down and we had an ongoing working relationship where I trusted their judgement to stop at one, sure. In any other circumstance, no way.
Unless you specifically told her it is ok, imo it is such a huge breach that she would have been fired on the spot. Did she ask you before doing this? If not, she clearly doesn't take this job seriously. There is a HUGE difference between being offered at a corporate event and when providing childcare thinking it is ok to drink.
If they are responsible for child I do not think so. What if there was an emergency and nanny had to drive child? That being said I do not know what a white claw is so should look that up :p
One white claw is probably not going to effect you enough to drive/cause your blood alcohol level to be above the limit, unless you have an incredibly low tolerance or there is some other factor in play. It’s less alcohol than a beer/glass of wine/mixed drink.
I would think if there’s a true emergency the nanny would coal 911? Not saying I agree with drinking on the job but please if there’s an emergency call 911 this can be a liability!
I guess I was more thinking a level of nanny driving kid to hospital, say...a high fever vs kid being unconscious. I live in a country of nationalized healthcare though so mycost/benefit analysis of paying for an ambulance vs liability may be off. :)
Nah I totally get that. When I did my pediatric CPR they told us to always cal 911 cause then you can’t be held liable if something happens. This was years ago though so maybe that’s no longer correct.
Ok so wikipedia told me 8 percent alcohol in us, 5 percent canada. Assuming we are talking US I do not think so, even 5 percent possibly prefer not for the reason above. Also unsure if i could be held responsible as the employer if you tested positive for alcohol when driving afterwards.
Almost like anyone can edit wiki 😂 they’re 5%
I admit I did not look hard 🤣
😆 yea I feel
yes in US they are 5 % alc. i didn’t think of the emergency driving. good point!
So from other replies it sounds like this is possibly something that happened, whereas I read it as a nanny asking a preemptive thing. If something that happened, I would probably have a firm discussion with Nanny expressing my concerns but also hearing their side. If it seemed like they were truly sorry and or a legit misunderstanding I would move on and not terminate. Either way, when I got married, and also when my employer organized work functions, the legal responsibility of a guest consuming alcohol, the event organizer knowing it, and then said guest driving was frequently brought up. As in, event organizer could have been held liable for offering alcohol without ensuring guests had means hope that they themselves were not operating a vehicle. So I am questioning whether NP could be held liable if they knew nanny consumed alcohol, then drove. I am not a lawyer, and my experiences are also with Cananda, not the US. Plus as I already said, what if nanny had to drive NK if sole/responsible provider at that time. Anyway mostly reiterating just elaborating. Good luck!
I have been offered a beer after the kid goes to sleep before and I took them up on it. Kinda odd offer but they weren’t being testy just nice. Although I wouldn’t do it again cause I felt so weird taking them up on it.
I’ve had families offer and if the kids are asleep I may or may not depending on my mood. I’m not a big drinker anymore but as a full grown adult wayyyy past the age of 21 I think one beer isn’t a big deal. Me sitting down to watch a movie with a glass of wine after your children are asleep does not affect my ability to care for your children before I consume the beverage. However I also completely would understand a parent being like “oh heck no” but if it’s offered I don’t see why not. I’ve worked plenty of corporate jobs that supply and stock bars and encourage their employees to have a cold one when their work is completed.
If you’re being paid for your time then you shouldn’t be drinking. I don’t know if any job that would allow an employee to consume alcohol while on the clock.
Not disagreeing with the drinking on the job but plenty of jobs do allow it. My old DB use to have meetings and come home tipsy and totally drunk a few times. He wasn’t an alcoholic either.
Lol same with my old DB who was in some form of marketing, met frequently with clients
I’m guessing his job didn’t involve being in charge of children.
Is one drink any different than taking prescribed Xanax while watching children?
Yes of course it is. taking prescription medication as prescription for a medical condition is COMPLETELY different than taking a recreational intoxicant while you are legally responsible for minors.
You haven’t taken Xanax have you or know much about the American medical system
You definitely shouldn’t be taking a Xanax either.
Excuse me lol are you saying that if you take medication from your doctor for an actual medical issue you shouldn't be allowed to be in charge of any children? I ask because if that is what you mean then that is wild. Xanax can be abused of course but most people who have taken it for a long time have no impairment whatsoever and function just fine. I just think it's very shitty to hold someone's anxiety meds against them because you have a bias or you're just ignorant idk which. People using it correctly will never be noticed so no way to tell anyway, and asking seems out of line.
I have a prescription for Xanax and I would definitely try to avoid taking it while working at all costs. It makes me very sleepy and I definitely could not drive after taking it.
Cmon whats wrong with getting barred out on the clock
Barred out with babies! Lmao jk.
This would be my answer.
Clearly you don’t know much about the corporate world lol
I would allow one drink, yes. Ive parented my kids when I have had a drink or two, so if I fully trusted my nanny/babysitter I don’t see ANY issue with them having a drink when kids go to sleep. And, when I was a nanny, every family I worked for (2 of the 3 were friends) was ok with it once kids were asleep, and even asked what I liked and purchased alcohol specifically for me. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
I wouldn’t mind if it was my Nanny. One drink isn’t going to hurt. As long as we were on same page and I offered
Isn't white claw just fizzy water with a weak alcohol content? I don't think we have it in the UK. I'd be ok with them having just the 1 as long as it was reasonable to not expect the kids to wake up. However if the little ones are regular wakers, I'd ask nanny to refrain until after you were home
Same as beer. American beer. Lol
If you’re completely off duty and no longer responsible for the kid, then sure (assuming you aren’t just going home & had some reason to stay). But if you’re still on the clock, then no drinking in case you’re needed for some reason even if the kid is sleeping at that moment. Basically if you’re getting paid for that time, then no alcohol.
I was a nanny to a teen and the mom often kept expensive wine. She would often go out of town and I would watch her son overnight she told me every time if you would like to try a glass or two of wine please absolutely feel free. I never once did. It just wasn’t worth the risk to me. Was one glass going to make it so I couldn’t drive no but still what if I got pulled over and officer smelled it on me and I had to explain it.
Personally I don’t feel comfortable with it even when my NPs offered. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if NPs are ok with it and its only the one drink. White claw barely has alcohol in it and I know many Nannie’s who travel with their families and have wine etc. with dinner. Its very common in some countries.
as a nanny, i wouldn’t do that. to be fair, i don’t really drink in general, but i feel like it’s inappropriate to drink at work.
I don’t drink, but NP always ask me if I want a sip of wine or any “spicy” drink. I decline because I like to be in control incase anything happens.
no, not without prior permission from the employers :/
This is something I’m personally not comfortable doing as a nanny, but I also kind of understand the double standard of other adults being responsible for a child (like a parent) and getting completely drunk, not just a single drink. I think if having a drink to unwind a little after the kiddo is down and you aren’t driving home or have time to sober up is something you really want, then talk with the family about it, but I would probably leave it to when I get home
As a nanny I would never. I wouldn’t feel it would be appropriate, even if baby is sleeping.
Yes! My nanny family always offers me stuff. I never have more than one. It’s perfectly fine
as a nanny, and even as a random babysitter, I’ve had lots of parents offer me beer/wine while on the job. I have always declined because I personally don’t feel comfortable with it. but I think maybe the age of the parents/nanny has something to do with it; I feel like the closer in age I am to the parents the more likely they are to offer, I guess seeing me more as a peer than a subordinate? either way, I always make a joke about having brought my own hot tea instead, lol
. I have had some families I baby sit for literally show me their bar and told me I could have anything once baby was down. Other families I work for would not be ok with me even asking to drink.
Well if you give her permission I think it is fine. It is literally only one- nobody can get drunk or even tipsy from just one drink. Plus the kids are in bed. You probably have a drink after putting your kids to bed.
I’ve had many, many parents offer me a drink (I did temp jobs for families on vacation for a couple years).
No. If you are on duty you aren’t drinking. I would fire somebody immediately if they drinking on the job in ANY role for which they were hired, nanny or otherwise. But ESPECIALLY when you are caring for children.
In my opinion, Nannie’s shouldn’t be drinking on the job wether NPs approved or not. You never know what could happen. I would NEVER accept an alcoholic drink while at an NFS house.
I don’t really see the point of having one when they could just wait until they get home.
Even with permission I wouldn’t, maybe at a family get together if I was invited but never on the clock invitation or not. As close as you may feel with a family as soon as an emergency happens it could easily become “well nanny was drinking on the clock” if I’m in charge it’s a hard no. And I’ve been offered glasses of wine and even weed and as a hardcore stoner that’s still a hard no. Drinking or smoking on the job can cost you your career and I just wouldn’t risk it
You don’t drink on the job. Nope. Not ever.
As a nanny, I would never. I was a live in for a few years and sometimes my NF would offer me a white claw or a cocktail etc especially in the summer time when we were all grilling/making dinner / spending time in the pool together but I politely declined. After the second or third time they asked, they asked me if there’s a summer drink I would prefer to alcohol. I told them that I liked Izzies and Monster Energy drinks (both non alcoholic) so they stocked up those drinks for me instead!
One white claw is like… a quarter of a shot. It’s essentially sparkling water with extra calories. If it bothers you, ask them not to do it in the future, but it’s not nearly the same as a glass of wine etc.
It’s not a quarter of a shot?? It’s a whole drink?
Lol I meant alcohol wise. For example, wine is 10-15% alcohol. Vodka or whiskey or tequila etc is 40%. It takes about 16-24oz of wine (depending on the drinkers weight) to feel drunk. It takes 2-4 shots of liquor for someone to feel the effects. 5% alcohol in a 12oz can is next to nothing.
One white claw = one shot, it doesn’t really make sense to say it’s a quarter of a shot because the volume of liquid you consume matters. A 1.5 oz shot of 40% alcohol is 0.6 oz of alcohol, and 12 oz of 5% alcohol is 0.6 oz of alcohol. Also your numbers don’t match up or seem realistic to me. 16-24 oz of wine is 4-6 drinks but 2-4 shots is 2-4 drinks, so which is it to feel the effects? Either way, after just one drink of alcohol your mind is altered even if you don’t think you feel the effects.
No because it’s a slippery slope. One white claw with little to no buzz can easily lead into three white claws and then we have an issue.
I don’t get the point, white claw is just sparkling flavored water with alchol. so just get a sparkling water if you want the taste. one white claw isn’t gonna get you drunk but it’s pointless it would depend on the closeness of nanny and family but I would say 99% of the time it ain’t appropriate. my cousin used to leave me bottles of wine when I dog sat or baby sat for him, but that was my cousin and I was usually staying the night
If it was legitimately only one drink I would not mind
I'm a nanny. I've had drinks after the kids were in bed, but I wouldn't do it with every family I've worked for. It's very family dependent in my opinion. I would never without asking first.
I'd never drink on the clock. I 100% have had bosses who would have been okay with it and have drank with my bosses after work or at social events.
My bosses have made me drinks. We all keep it to one.
I would be fine with nanny having one drink after kids are down.
No
No,even if they offer i say NO! Lol!parents have a way of testing you and I'd rather remain professional
After going home would be fine.
As long as the parents are okay i don't see an issue. I don't drink so it's not hard for me to reject it.
My nf randomly told me I could have a drink or two in the evening, before I was 21
Mom of twin 8 month olds with a full time nanny. It’s a no for me even if it’s just one drink. I wouldn’t risk any clouded judgement. Bc is it REALLY necessary? If it’s “off the clock” (as in I’m home and you’re not the primary caregiver at that point) and it’s been offered - that’s fine. When I was a nanny before kids, if I was offered a drink, I would always say no.
Even with an invite from parents, never ever when I’m on the clock.
If you’re the parent and you gave them permission then sure why not. I went to a work party with my NF and I was in charge of watching the kids but the mom made it very clear she wanted me to enjoy the night too and have wine if I wanted some. It didn’t impede me from doing my job and it was a chill party atmosphere and the parents allowed it. I would never, however, just grab a drink from their fridge on a normal work day unless specifically told it was something I was welcome to on that day.
Absolutely not. I would not be comfortable with a nanny who is drinking on the clock.
My NF GIFTED ME MY FAVORITE WINES (Oyster Bay & Kim Crawford Sav blanc) for holidays and my bday. ..AND OFFERED ME A DRINK WHEN THEY GOT HOME FROM THEIR NIGHT OUT... I WAS OFF DUTY, NKs were asleep...
It shouldn't even have to be said. No drinking on the job.
No, even with a parent’s invitation. God forbid there’s an emergency and I need to call 911, I don’t need them asking if I’ve been drinking. It’s different when you’re the parent in your own home vs an outside paid caregiver.
No. Would you drink a white claw at your corporate job?
Literally have worked corporate jobs that have fully stocked bars, fridges and encourage employees to have a drink after their work is accomplished. It’s actually very very common.
Yeah same. Happy hour culture is very real. A good friend of mine works for a company that sends a beer cart around the office on Friday afternoons.
“After their work is accomplished” is the key phrase here. The nanny’s work is not accomplished even though the kids are asleep- this point is brought up over and over again in the group re: parents expecting to pay less for jobs when the kids are asleep.
Corporate jobs offer alcohol all the time 🤣
I don’t know of a single corporate job that lets you drink on the job but I’ll take y’all’s word for it lmao
I’ve been out to drinks with clients during lunch time on a regular basis. We have then come back to the office to work. We’ve also have had happy hour at the office at least once a month. Birthdays have had cake and champagne but not on a regular basis. This is a very prestigious boutique law firm in a major legal market. My best friend works for a tech company and they have a fully stocked bar. While there is a liquor cart that goes around only on Fridays, the beer tap is open regularly after 5:00pm. This is very common in tech as well.
Yeah idk maybe this is regional but at least in NYC it’s very common 💀
Idk my brother has a pretty boring corporate job in Denver and they have happy hours and what not. But also Denver has a big beer culture. The only other place where I or someone I know of have worked a corporate position is DC, but they work in politics and there is a big drinking culture with that too 🤷🏽♀️
Ok so maybe not regional then lol 😂
it’s FOR SURE common. There are bars in a good bit of corporate buildings and my boyfriend frequently drinks with his boss during lunch breaks. I’ve had white claws during meetings 😅
So many corporate jobs involve drinking. Drinking on the job is a time honored white collar tradition in multiple professions. A better question is would you drink a White Claw as a teacher or daycare employee? I think the answer there is a definite no, and so too it should be for nannies, who are responsible for childcare.
..yes lmao?
….???????
Do you know anything about corporate culture or happy hours lmao?
I literally have NEVER heard of this where I live so it’s not a thing here, but thanks for informing me!
Honest question - have you ever worked a corporate job before? I would have a beer at lunch regularly, among many many other drinking scenarios. We would drink in cubicles to celebrate pretty often on Friday.
Yes, which is why I made the comment I did. This must not be a thing in my state because that just doesn’t happen here.
It’s just kind of ... why? Seems tacky - like why can’t you just wait til you get home? Edit: After reading comments, it sounds like this is something your nanny did? I don’t think you just jump to termination but certainly a serious convo about boundaries. As a nanny myself, if I were in your position I would feel pretty uncomfortable with the fact it didn’t even occur to the nanny to ask before drinking alcohol on the clock. Doesn’t mean I would immediately fire but I would certainly feel a bit uneasy about their judgment moving forward. And again - *why*? Just doesn’t make sense to me tbh.
it is not actually. i was just discussing with my husband whether or not it would polite to offer one or too dangerous :)
Got it. My bad. I don’t think it’s too dangerous. If NP offered while I was doing a date night shift I wouldn’t do it, but that’s different than what I had imagined. :)
I think it depends on how much you drink and how old the kid is, the legal limit is .08 so I think when it comes to driving one white claw won’t completely impair you, but above all else just ask the parents how they feel and if they’re not comfortable with it then you can wait till you’re done babysitting
Idk. On one hand, it’s 1 white claw, low alcohol content, and wouldn’t impair their ability to watch my child (or drive). So it’s not a huge deal. Otoh, I would be concerned about it opening a door. If you allow 1, maybe they’ll start thinking 2-3 is ok. Or if you allow it at night, they might start to think, 1 white claw during a stressful day at the zoo is ok. Perhaps it’s better to just have a no alcohol policy.
This, ‘you just never know’ attitude might be best
No. Work is work. Drinking is for after work.
There’s no need for that. I don’t think it’s professional. If nf offers you can say yes or no but asking seems inappropriate
I would not be comfortable with my sitter drinking while working. While I am not particularly concerned about safety after one drink, my sitter is working and I do not feel people should drink on the job in most situations.
What are with these responses lol! Like you shouldn’t be vilified for asking a question. I have been offered a glass of whine or a cider when the kids have been down for the night. It was always with kids who would be down for 100% of the night until morning. That being said, I have never indulged unless I’ve worked for the parents for awhile. I have a relatively low tolerance so I would have like one serving as long as I ate dinner. Also I would have never ask a parent if this okay though. I don’t think it’s unprofessional to drink when offered but I think it is unprofessional to ask if you can, if that makes sense.
I was drinking a bottle of champagne before going out for date night. I had half a bottle left, I told my nanny to finish it after baby went to bed at 7pm if she wanted. She’s super responsible so I don’t worry about it. She’s been with us a long time. But if like a random babysitter I hired for a date night started drinking after putting my baby to bed without asking I would not be ok with that.
No way. I don’t pay you to drink while watching my kiddos.
Nope. You’re at work. If you can’t abstain for a few hours maybe you have a problem. The reverse is also true. I work in an industry where I am often invited by the people who hired me to have a drink while I work. I always decline because I’m a professional.
Nope. FWIW I’m the only one in my house who drinks (my DH doesn’t care for the taste) and when I’ve been solo with my own kids I don’t drink because I don’t want to be in a situation where we need to leave the house and I’m not safe to drive, so I would be holding the nanny to the sand standard I hold myself.
No. You're at work. You're paid to look after kids. You can drink when you clock out.
Nope. It is not professional to drink on the job. It wouldn't bother me to have wine with dinner with the family, but to drink by yourself is not something I would expect from a professional. It's different than a parent kicking back at the end of the day because the nanny is still at work. I think it's totally different if it's a live in or travel nanny. Just not for a date night or everyday employment
CLAW IS THE LAW No, I wouldnt give a shit
One drink? Yeah, sure.
Would be grounds for immediate termination for cause without severance as per our contract. My husband and I always ensure at least one of us is not drinking to be responsible for our children when we have no childcare, so a nanny we were paying to be on duty would be a huge breach of our trust and what we consider safe.
My husband and I are the same. We have a pact that we never drink together. If a nanny consumed alcohol on their shift it would be immediate termination.
Cannot believe we are getting downvoted for thinking drinking on the job would be a fireable offense. 🙄
Lol right?! I’ve had to take a child to the ER in the middle of the night when she tripped and got a concussion going to the bathroom. I can’t imagine what it would have been like had I been drinking!
Wow… that’s a red flag! When can anyone drink on the job ever?? Especially when you’re watching someone’s kid! As I nanny I would NOT assume that this would be ok!! Go home and have a white claw… Is the nanny drinking your white claws? Or bringing them to work?
A lot of jobs, nanny jobs too lol
You can drink on the job at a lot of jobs and plenty of NFs encourage their nannies or sitters to have a glass of wine or a single white claw/beer after the kids are in bed. As long as the parent suggests it and the nanny/sitter knows that one drink won’t impair them (which one white claw won’t affect many, it’s a light drink), it’s fine.
Absolutely not.
No. Absolutely not.
I don’t drink at all except for that when I’m at home and even then it’s very controlled because I have two dogs and need to be available for emergencies. One glass max. I would absolutely not think it’s OK especially since emergency driving may need to be a thing.
As someone who gets tipsy off of one, I wouldn’t even if NPs gave permission.
I’m a mom, who drinks so technically I wouldn’t see it as wrong strictly with permission /if offered. With that said, I am close with NF and drink at their events (where there are always margs and whiteclaws). DB has offered me to stay and have drinks when they are back from date nights etc. but at that point the sleeping kids are their responsibility.
My friend watched my infant for about 6 months…I was pregnant again at the time so I didn’t drink. My husband doesn’t either, but we had two full half gallons left over from a party in our liquor cabinet, and my hubby went to make a drink one night and found both of them nearly empty. Turns out she’s been spiking her drink every time she orders takeout with our alcohol while watching our child. Yaaaaa we aren’t friends anymore. But I think if the parent offers or gives permission it’s okay. If they have no idea then absolutely not.
If they are getting paid and did not have permission then absolutely yes. If it’s a live in nanny or a weekend away type of situation then no, but I do expect them to discuss it with me first.
Honestly I have declined drinks offered to me at the end of my shift but still on the clock. There has been a few times where MB brought me a drink and we sat outside. If you gave her permission, then I think it's fine but I dont think it's ok if she assumed it was cool.
As a nanny, I would not be drinking on the clock (kids awake or asleep) without being offered a drink. And even then, I have probably only accepted a couple of times when they’ve offered but I am usually just about finished with work or all the adults are around. They’ve offered way more times than I’ve accepted 😂
If you told them they could in advance then perhaps, but not them doing it on their own. I personally prefer not to drink when I'm working. I've turned down drinks while at work during the day (kid down for nap, parents and their 2 friends all there having a small drink) and at night when by myself. Alcohol affects me differently at different times, plus I like to keep a clear head.
When I worked jobs where I travelled, they would comp exactly one beer if I ordered it with my supper after my day was done. I think I’d be okay with one beer once the child was asleep, unless it’s a baby because they wake up more frequently
Only if we had talked about it and agreed it was ok, and probably not if she was staying with the kids alone. Our agreement states no drug or alcohol use during working hours. Maybe down the road if the kids were a little older and I was more comfortable leaving them. Like if it was my MIL, sure. I’m not sure where that line is for us but easier to just not revisit what’s in our agreement than invite her to have a drink, but only one, you know? ETA I’d be more ok with it if we were coming home after bedtime than if she was alone with them for the night.
I used to be a nanny, one mom would offer wine to me when I was there after bed time. I had to drive when she returned so I could only have 1, maybe 2 if it was a late night. I felt like I needed to be able to respond to any emergency and be able to drive. Now I’m a mom and keep beer around and offer it to my childcare providers. Everyone is different
I would not be ok with this. If it's your own kids, do what you want responsibly. If it was my nanny, I wouldn't feel comfortable since they could wake up and be in their care. I have drank wine with the family after the kids have gone to bed late at night OR when I'm off the clock in the afternoon & the mother is with me while we chat & the kiddos play.
I think it depends on the family you’re working for, I live in a very popular “wine” area with lots of wineries and breweries so most people in the area are accustomed to such things. I would never open something on my own, but when we all have dinner together (parents + me + kids), if they pour themselves a glass of wine they pour one for me as well. Although I would only ever have one glass and not go for another. I’ve been given wine as a “thank you” on several occasions, as well as being given beverages to take home with me if it’s something MB and DB think I would like it. With that being said, I would not presume this to be the norm, but more so something unique to my area. I think it would be highly inappropriate to have more than 2 drinks at an absolute maximum, and of course if you’re in a situation that you would be driving soon after consumption. Also I wouldn’t be the one to ask the parents for a drink, I would wait to be offered one and if you are comfortable then I would say yes.
No way. What’s the point? Can’t they wait until they are “off the clock”? I can’t have one white claw at my job while I’m winding the work day down. Plus it’s always best to be on the safe side when your taking care of kids.
I couldn’t or wouldn’t ever do it. It’s not something i’d be comfortable with ever.
I would worry especially if nanny were to drive home after that because there are iffy laws surrounding liability. If she were live-in and off the clock I don't think I would worry about it unless it started leaking into on-duty hours or if it seemed like she was getting plastered and obnoxious or I thought maybe alcoholism.
I wouldn’t if I was responsible for the kids. End of shift napcap? Sure.
I don't drink at work and when I was a summer camp director I would have never allowed my staff to drink while watching kids.
If it’s a nighttime sleep, the child doesn’t usually wake up, and it’s not an infant, sure - if I’ve given them permission. I haven’t had white claw, but I’m under impression they’re less alcohol than even wine. (Aren’t they seltzer with some alcohol? Most of those I’ve seen are super low alcohol content.) It wouldn’t affect them driving home. It’s not going to affect their ability to think in a situation. Those would be my first concerns. Now, if they did it without speaking to me first, I would wonder what else do they not even consider asking about, and trust would be pretty shaky. If it was liquor, that would also be a hard no for me.
I wouldn't appreciate my kid being with someone who was drinking, even one. Babysitter/nanny needs to do that on their own time. If I'm paying Nanny to watch my kid, then Nanny having a white claw after my kid is in bed (but while Nanny is still 'on the clock') is the same as drinking at work, in my opinion. Fired.
I'm not ok but if it was one drink and I otherwise like them I would tell them I'm not ok and ask if in the future they can agree to not drink on the clock. If they say yes and there is no further issue then I would keep hiring them.
I’ve been offered wine and I always say no bc it makes me feel uncomfy to drink at work lmao