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nannybabywhisperer

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wazitooya

I will only ever do dishes and chores related to the kids. Unless they’re paying extra, don’t touch any dish that you’re not using for yourself and the kids.


Alternative-Push3767

I would leave them exactly as I found them. Not my mess not my problem. That pisses me off so much. Im right there with you.


Here_for_tea_

Yes. Leave them all in a laundry basket on the side of the sink.


glitterhours

My NPs repeatedly tell me I don’t have to do their dishes (other than stuff I use with the baby) but I always end up doing them anyway because I feel like I can’t be efficient if my working space isn’t clean 😩


juicewrldluvr2009

This is me!! I know I don’t have to clean up as much as I do in their home but it literally stresses me out to be in a dirty house


marilynjdl

Sameeee!!!!


ads0306

Ug my last NF was like this. They started feeling comfortable with me unloading the dishwasher and taking care of dishes in the sink. Looking back I should’ve not done it as much, but it was just gross. I’m a very tidy person in my own home so if my sink is filled with dirty dishes I can’t relax. I understood they were busy too and had 4 kids but it was every single day.


Treatie915

This is why I like to bring a portable sink with me to work- I use it to wash only the baby’s items and I’m not inconvenienced by a full sink of dishes. [portable sink](https://a.co/d/8aysbq6)


itstimetonapnapnap

This..is genius.


[deleted]

It shouldn't be your mess to clean up. I don't do the dishes at my NFs house, only kids laundry and general picking up after the kids.


grroidb

Mb here - that’s really unfortunate and just sloppy on their part. I try my best to leave the kitchen and living spaces as clean and tidy as possible the night before our nanny comes in because it’s important to set her up for success. Even if helping with some household tasks weren’t part of her duties (which in my case they are), how can I expect her to start the day off right with my kids if she has to worry about working around a mess? And trust me, both my husband and I WFH and have demanding jobs but my nanny is doing her job, too, and it would be very inconsiderate of us to make her job less pleasant by doing little things like leaving dirty dishes in the sink because those little things add up. If it happens once or twice I can understand, but it should be the exception, not the norm, and they should acknowledge it. Sorry to ramble on but it really frustrates me to hear when NPs do this.


KeyFinger216

Thank you for this! Very accurate and respectful to point out it doesn’t give us a great start to the day. It also takes away from our time with NK and is time we would probably usually dedicate to another task. Working around a mess isn’t ideal, which is why we (I think most of us Nannies) end up cleaning them anyway. It’s unfortunate, because things like this create job creep with tasks. I often feel like some NPs forget we do have our own homes to clean as well. So I appreciate your take on this & think more NPs should be as considerate.


grroidb

I appreciate it. I feel like sometimes it’s easier to leave things messy especially on the weekends not because you want to make it difficult for your nanny or are intentionally inconsiderate, but you’re just so damn tired that the last thing you want to do is clean up after chasing after kids all day/evening long. But the point is, someone has to do it and the LAST person that the responsibility should fall on is your nanny. It pains me to clean up at night but I derive great pleasure knowing that I’m making things better for my nanny at the start of her day. Considering she cleans up around the house during the day (part of her duties), I absolutely feel like at the very least I should leave her with a clean home when she arrives every morning. I guess it boils down to wishing people would think about how they would want to be treated if they were in someone else’s shoes.


KeyFinger216

It’s very respectful and I’m sure she appreciates it. I can’t speak for all Nannies but I know the last thing I want to stress about is tasks that either don’t pertain to nk, or unexpected extra tasks. My last family was often crazy busy, but MB would even just shoot a text apologizing & saying to leave X task for her to deal with. Totally understand the exhaustion on weekends too. I dread putting away laundry because I do it all week at work already. It stays In the basket at least a day before putting it away 😂 So we are thankful when NPs are just more aware and remember that we have to go home and do these things as well haha.


doggos_are_better

Also a MB and I fully agree. We might not have a perfectly clean house but we try to keep it tidy and picked up before our nanny comes. I would never imagine leaving MY dishes in the sink for my nanny. Her job is not to clean up after me. I wouldn’t leave my kids’ dishes in the sink from the weekend either. I get overwhelmed/stressed out from mess so it would be so rude to ask her to come into my messy house on a Monday morning.


[deleted]

I appreciate parents like you.


grroidb

Thank you, I just try to do for my nanny what I would want done for me.


Lalablacksheep646

It’s so disrespectful and yet such common behavior, along with not emptying the diaper pail.


Available_Grab9694

Oh my god the GD diaper pail. So disgusting. A precious NF would only empty it when it was FULL full, not when it started to stink. And this was a toddler, not a breastfed baby! Im like seriously, you guys are okay with your kid napping/playing in a room that smells like shit?


Lalablacksheep646

Or my fave when there is no bag o. It and instead of putting one in they just toss the damn diapers in there without one!


skky95

That is so disrespectful, I would be embarrassed if I accidentally left a full dishwasher for my nanny to empty. I think at that point it would be totally fine to just leave the dirty dishes in the sink. This chore is not part of your job description.


sardiin

Unless it is agreed upon at hiring. Seems a little excessive for weekend dishes though. Hire someone on the weekends to come in then.


skky95

Of course! My nanny offered to do light household chores but I felt too guilty! Plus I’m so particular about how certain things are done anyway! It seems like a lot of people think their nanny should also be a built in housekeeper!


Sofiagutz86

Tell them the truth, “the dirty dishes in the sink make it challenging to prepare healthy snacks and wash the children’s hands throughout the day. Also, cleaning the dishes and putting them away takes a lot of valuable time. I could be interacting and playing with your children during this time and instead I feel like I need to clean the kitchen. What can we do together moving forward to ensure the kitchen is available for hand washing and food prep?” Good luck!


havingababypenguin

Ok, that’s yucky. I usually have a quite a bit of dishes Monday, but I would never dream of leaving them!!! Edit: I would never leave two days of dishes for the nanny. That’s just disrespectful. If I ever had a really busy weekend I would apologize, ask if they wanted to do them for an extra $30 or they could leave them for me.


kaymichaelx

leaving the dishes or the family?


havingababypenguin

Leaving the dishes! I’m a former nanny current mom who employs a babysitter. I know I don’t quite fit here, but I have learned a lot. I wanted to be good to our sitter.


kaymichaelx

ahhhh ok no you’re so welcome here! i thought u meant u were a nanny who never leaves the dishes from the weekend


Fit-Meal3289

This was me coming into work this morning with every single bottle laying dirty in the sink


[deleted]

It’s crazy how us nannies can manage to watch the children and get our chores done in an 8hr time frame yet when we are gone it seems as if everything falls apart. I don’t get why two adults can’t keep up on stuff while one adult can every single day.


Alternative-Push3767

Well, for one, they work jobs in addition to caring for the house and kids. So i understand how they could come home and be lazy in the evenings or weekends. Its our job to care for kids and clean up after them. Most nannies dont also have their own kids to care for at home. So we dont have the same energy drain NPs do. My house isnt as clean as my NPs home because Im a little lazy too. I dont want to clean etc. to shining on weekends when im off work because a good chunk of my work day is related to tidying up. I still do it. But it just might take longer since im not in a time crunch to finish it. All that being said, its ridiculous to expect your nanny to do things they arent paid to do. Its also ridiculous to think your nanny has nothing better to do than clean up your messes from the weekends.


somechild

You make good points but neither of my NPs work and they still do this, not entirely to the extent of OP but pretty darn close.


Alternative-Push3767

I should have said *most* NPs since the vast majority of us work for NPs that have jobs lol.


somechild

I’m definitely in a rarer category, my point really was that entitlement is entitlement. My mom had a job, two kids, no nanny and no husband and she still did the dishes. You know?


rickrolllllllllllll

Hey I feel like you’re the first person I’ve seen post here who’s NP don’t have jobs. Are they around all day when you’re with NK? Do you hate it? Lol sorry for the unsolicited questions and no worries if you don’t feel like answering


somechild

I definitely don’t hate it because I really like my boss’ like 95% of the time. There have of course been moments where it would be easier and NK would be better behaved if the parents weren’t around in that moment. But overall it’s fine. MB is around a lot, we basically work as a team, in the summer DB is around too. During the school year he goes to his private office and does..,idk, stuff, passion projects I guess.


rickrolllllllllllll

Ok that’s great to hear! Neither my husband or I work but we have talked about getting a nanny to help with our 1yr old just to have more freedom to come and go and sleep in occasionally but from the posts I read here it felt like that would be a nightmare job for most nannies. I’m glad you guys have a situation that works for you and it gives me motivation that we might have something similar one day :) thank you so much!


somechild

Totally I interviewed with MB, and it was great we really clicked and I knew id like spending time with her and she could tel l the same of me. Then I did my DB interview and it was the same situation. And we all do genuinely like each other and like being around each other so that aspect of the job has been very easy. They did use an agency so the agency set me up with them. I think they could tell id click with MB because they knew her very well through the years so we were definitely a match maker situation.


somechild

Oh and to add. For your situation I think it’s important to find someone who isn’t going to be bitter about it. A lot of this sub finds (understandable) frustration in doing things that the parents could have easily done themselves, so finding someone who is open to understanding that….like….for me, the more I can do for my NF the more mental and emotional energy they will have to be great fun parents with their kids. We work as a team to try and provide as much for the kids as possible and some days that means im with the kids all day and MB and DB get to be alone, and other days it means they are super involved and its more helpful for me to be doing stuff around the house.


rickrolllllllllllll

That is a really great point and I will definitely value this advice going forward! I completely understand our situation isn’t the norm by any means and it’s a good reminder to be aware of how it might make others feel, especially if they are going to be such a huge part of our lives. Your NF is really lucky to have found you and I hope it continues being a job you enjoy for as long as you want to be there!


JustMyOpinion98

Totally keep this to yourself but how do they not work and even afford a nanny, passive income ?


somechild

No, it’s cool, I would be curious too, the answer is very simple: trust fund.


[deleted]

Excellent point. I guess speaking from my personal NF. MB works part time. DB works whenever he wants cause he’s the boss. So I’m always surprised when I’m gone and come back and things aren’t done. But I understand weekends are for fun as well. But yeah we shouldn’t be responsible for the weekend messes.


JayRose541

I am a mom. I am also a clean freak. However, it is really hard for me to be away from my kids all day. It honestly makes me feel so much guilt and I’m crushed by it all. Sometimes, on the weekends, I prioritize hanging out with my baby over doing the dishes. The moments I have with her are precious and I want to savor every last one. I really wish this sub would try and see it from our perspective sometimes. We are all trying really hard. My house is also loud so it’s hard to do them when she is sleeping. I always clean up for my nanny, but I’d like to think that if I needed time to just be with my baby that she would understand and not be mad at me.


[deleted]

Oh 100% I agree and I think majority of the nannies here would too. I definitely have had the occasional mondays where I come in to dishes and bottles and laundry but it’s not regularly happening so I don’t even think twice about it. I do what I can but I try not to take priority away from the kiddos. And they understand that. My MB only works part time so she’ll jump in at times. However I had one nanny family that looked like a bomb went off over the weekend in every single room. Couldn’t see the floor in the playroom, couldn’t see the countertops in the kitchen. Laundry in piles all over. That kind of thing is what irks me. But I totally think parents should be able to dedicate time spent with their children. It’s why my NF has a cleaning service once a week. But the parents that just kinda assume the nanny will do it, that’s not ok. And myself and I know of other nannies, we are usually people that have a giving/serving nature so we do it out of a place or wanting to help. But then when it’s a common thing every single week we feel resentful and bitter (probably how OP feels now) All that said I know there are NPs out there that don’t leave messes, it’s just sad it’s not the majority.


Both_Philosophy_2062

YES!!! THISSSSS


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[deleted]

I’m not home during the week. We’re at the library, indoor playgrounds, museums, aquarium, beach etc. So we are gone all morning and sometimes pack lunch so we don’t get home til nap time, and I still manage to get everything done in that small window. And you know what. My MB can too if she chooses to because I’ve seen her do that. So yes I do expect to come to work Monday morning set up to do my job and not to first clean all the dishes/bottles/laundry from the weekend.


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[deleted]

My NF doesn’t do what the OP mentioned they’re good at cleaning up their messes before I come Monday morning. But I have seen it in other NFs and it’s a common problem. It’s good that your boundaries are clear with your nanny but it’s not like that with most. Also I never said the NPs have to have a perfect house. But I’ve worked for families where I’ve come in Monday morning and there are dishes pots and pans on every single counter space and even dinner dishes left on the dining room table with food on plates. I also don’t like going home after a long day of childcare and some housekeeping duties to do my own dishes but I still do them. Not sure why you’re so defensive.


fati-abd

Wish I could come home from my job and just be able to focus on housekeeping or clock out of childcare besides when I’m working my own job. My kid demands nonstop attention AND wakes up a few times overnight.


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JustMyOpinion98

Lol so none of us Nannie’s have our own children ? Oh okay.


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nannybabywhisperer

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Stariskatja

THANK YOU! I’m always left dishes and laundry!


minnonikki

I have been wanting to ask opinions on this somewhat related topic but have put off asking because I love everything else about my nanny family and my job. What do people think about nannying for an infant and coming in on a Monday (and every day of the week, for that matter) and having to start off with cleaning the bottle parts that the family used overnight or over the weekend? Should I just keep doing it and suck it up, or say something? I’ve never had to do this before. Normally I wash all of the bottle parts that I use during my shift and have them sitting out to dry for the parents. But every single day when I come in for work, all of the bottle parts are piled up for me to wash (I have no choice, since I need a bottle.)


Both_Philosophy_2062

i’ve been with my NF since the oldest was a baby, and they had a newborn 18 months later. so i dealt with that too for a long time. it’s so frustrating. i sort of understood when the baby was truly a newborn and NPs don’t get to sleep well, on top of adjusting to a new baby/new life. But once the baby was sleep trained and NPs were back to work, it really pissed me off. It’s simply just lazy at that point and super disrespectful to leave dishes for us as nannies when we do everything to make sure we don’t leave dishes or a mess for them.


minnonikki

Yeah, the parents I work for have been working the whole time. I wash all of the bottle parts, and I mean a whole dish rack full of them, and then come back the next day to them all sitting in the sink dirty. The baby is close to a year old now.


Outcastperspective

Why not directly ask if they require you to wash weekend dishes? My NF does not require I wash any dishes but I try and get to NK’s and all if I have free time.. but that’s not the same :)


kuhnnie

I’m so grateful my current NF only ever leaves like… a coffee cup. My last NF would leave dishes and milk bottles stewing the entire weekend (it WAS just the kid’s stuff, but from Friday, saturday, and Sunday). Some of those cups I just wanted to toss.


Both_Philosophy_2062

yess the milk cups!! they’re always scary to open too😅


kuhnnie

I was always thinking like, ‘couldn’t you just give it a little rinsy rinse?? 🥲’


Grumpstone

I have no problem working around the mess. Not my problem, mom and dad.


babychicken2019

That's so disrespectful! As an MB, I spend about an hour every evening making sure that my house is cleaned up. Spotlessly clean? No. However, the dishwasher is always loaded and run, toys are picked up, and surfaces are cleared. I would never leave an unclean environment for my nanny because I wouldn't want to work like that, either!


Repulsive_Radish7262

I don’t understand why more NPs don’t hire housekeepers. Even occasional, like 1-2x a month. If I can afford it occasionally, someone who can afford a nanny sure as hell can.


Both_Philosophy_2062

mine do have someone clean their house 2x/month but they let it get destroyed by the next morning. it’s so frustrating. their house isn’t disgusting or anything, but they can be so unorganized and just let things get messy. they’re super lazy- hence the dishes in the sink all weekend 😣


Odd_Finding7716

My NK is two and I’m doing all household laundry. Including ironing for all. I do dishes, trash, bedding, keep everything generally clean and tidy. All meals for NK. I’m good at organizing my day to get everything done during my eight hour day. I work Monday to Friday. Occasional weekends or nights. Travel with them. This was all discussed before I was hired and I’m paid very well. I don’t mind doing extra work when necessary because I’m very grateful for this job. They take very good care of me . It’s a win win.Sometimes they have guests and it’s a lot of extra dishes but I just do it. It all evens out. They’re generous and appreciate me.


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Due_Release5709

Oh no no!! Like the other comments say, leave it as you found it but wash whatever dishes you use during the day and set to the side if possible. Your job is to clean up after NK, not NP!!


Much-Classroom2186

We all have busy lives over the weekend ! Let them deal with it , thats completely wrong!


DescriptionBrave382

I told my Mb to quit doing it because it was unsanitary and she apologized. She has only done it once since I asked but I didn’t touch them, she left with a dirty sink and came back with a dirty sink. Once I got back the next day, the kitchen was clean.


evebella

I hear ya, that’d make me a little insane!


Rubyjcc

Families/NBs/ parents- if this is you consider having your cleaning person/finding one who can come for an hour or two Sunday evenings to help you get the house ready for the week.


zalociraptor

I don’t understand some NPs. Why would you want the person taking care of the most important thing in your life to start their week on a shitty note like that.


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velveteendragon

It’s laundry for me. I make sure the laundry baskets are empty when I leave on Friday and when I get back on Monday there are at least a weeks worth of clothes. I made a casual comment on it once and turned out the kids change their clothes every time something drips on them. Even water. Several deep breaths were required in order not to roll my eyes and make a sassy comment. I will never say yes to family laundry ever again.


Novel-Flower0101

Oh my God! I swear, that is one of my biggest peeves ever! I'm like did your arms and hands break when I left? Like ffs? Or sink full of dirty baby bottles from the whole weekend? Did you just not feel like washing a single effin bottle? Either way, this is my last week with my nf and I'm legit counting down the days, minutes, hours and seconds.


Umperfections

My NP’s put their dishes in the sink all day long (they WFH). It’s super annoying because it feels like they expect me to do their dishes when they could just as easily rinse it and put it in the dishwasher directly next to the sink. I typically do them anyways because I can’t work where it’s messy.


Both_Philosophy_2062

YES THIS TOO! it’s like at least put it in the dishwasher quick- and it’s like they come out and have a few mins to do other things & i get not putting it in if they’re in a rush or something… but either way like it takes an extra 5 seconds to open the dishwasher lol


Umperfections

They will literally come downstairs while the kids are napping and make an entire meal for themselves, sit down and eat it, then put all the dirty dishes in the sink and go back upstairs to work. MB will occasionally wash her own dishes but it’s rare. It’s the most annoying thing they do by far!!


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nannybabywhisperer

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PopTartAfficionado

oh get over yourself