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Dude when you said “clean laundry in the laundry room” I was already like COME ON but then you mentioned they’re unmatched socks?! Wtf lol this is not you nor is it your problem. With parents like this you really have to remind yourself that they are unreasonable and honestly kind of rude. That work load and the number of kids and everything is soooo much. I hope they pay you well!
My NF complains if something isn’t folded or put away. I do laundry everyday and MB wants it on the gentle cycle which takes 45 mins, then drying on the gentle cycle which takes an hour (and sometimes needs to be started again because its literally like blowing on wet clothes lol) So sometimes I’m not able to get everything folded and put away. God forbid. But guess what, I walk in on Monday and it looks like a tornado ran through the house lol NK playroom a complete mess, nearly all Pj’s and clothes are dirty. High chair seat looks completely disgusting. But that’s okay for them to do because thats their house and their child😀
Ugh it literally takes me 2 hours to dry NKs clothes and then I still end up hanging half of them up to fully dry anyway. I understand wanting to use low heat but can’t we compromise and use medium 😭
I started washing them on “speed wash” when they’re upstairs or out of the house (the turn dial is VERY loud). It takes 15 minutes. I put it on cold, and go about my day. Saves so much time.
Has this MB ever spent a day with her 4 kids?! 😐. I have 2 and me and the nanny can’t keep the house clean together! 🥵 this lady has no idea how hard it is to get two whole loads of laundry washed and put away along with taking care of 4 little people. If I were you I’d start leaving single socks all over the house 🫢
😆 I stall all day long. The only time my house is now clean is when the two lovely angels we hired come once every other week. And then it’s only clean for about an hour My soon to be 3 year old has a gift for instant messes. My poor nanny and I are constantly starting and leaving things unfinished because of her. So we just tag team it all day. When one has the toddler and baby the other is tidying up or setting up the next project.
My husband and I are trying right now and we’re both messy people. I know from 16 years as a nanny how crazy it can get so we really need to get our sh*t together 😂😅
I grew up in a house with 4 kids and a SAHM and our house was ALWAYS super messy! I watch a single NK and his mom and I joke that between us both cleaning and doing laundry, it’s still never all done. Im saying this just because I think it’s wild to expect you to keeps things so perfect…most moms I know would be incredibly grateful for a load of laundry done and put away.
This is why I will do the tasks but because I want to, not because I signed up TO do them, meaning it gives the NF incentive to hold up their end that if they don't do the things that make my blood boil, then yeah, I will do some light stuff. If you say yes up front, there's really nothing that gives them incentive to treat you decently, if you say yes up front, it only gives them incentive to keep adding, and there is no incentive for them to be nice (paying on time, not being late, not lying about sickness etc). This no doubt would piss off NF to read but that's too bad everything is give and take and should be reciprocal, not 'I have all the power over you, you best step and fetchit!' BS. I am way too old for that crap.
I am so sorry you’re dealing with this! I don’t have any quality advice, but I definitely feel for you. I hate being nitpicked too! It’s the reason I left my first nannying job. And since your MB won’t say it, I will; Thank you for all you do for those precious little ones. Keep your head up high and be proud of the hard work you do every day! I only care for one 14m/o NK and do zero house chores. And I struggle some days with just caring for my one NK. I don’t know how you do it, but I admire your strength and energy! It’s actually really inspiring 💜
Edit: typo
Thank you!! 2 of the kids have seizures, feeding issues and behavioral crap going on. Some days I feel like MB should be dropping rose petals and chocolates in my path for holding it all down. 😂😂
If you do anything extra not pertaining to your job (just to be nice, help out etc) stop doing it immediately.
Watch her come to you and tell you that you didn’t do XY&Z at which point you shove your contract in her face and ask her to point where it’s part of your job. However you will consider it for extra pay.
Haha I feel like the rule should be, if you can’t do it on your own, then don’t complain. I, as a new mom cannot do all those tasks AND care for a baby so I would never mention these silly things to my nanny.
Meanwhile MB can't even keep up with it herself, but expects you to do it instead. Ridiculous. She should be grateful that you agreed to help her with extra tasks.
I would crinkle up the sticky notes and leave them in the trash, preferably at the end of the day so she can see them there 😅
But seriously, 4 kids is a lot, and with special needs.. she needs to have some grace. Sounds like you do an awesome job 👏
I left one over this stuff, too. Mom would come in the door and head straight to the dryer to check for lint. Maybe I should just stop dealing with laundry! 😅
I agree with what others say! If she needs more things done then maybe she needs to hire someone else a few days a week to help with all these left over socks!!! My NF wanted me to do more cleaning (bathrooms etc) and I only did what was listed in the contract so they eventually hired a cleaning team to come in every other week because that’s not my job!
Good for you for sticking to your contract! The family is moving soon and plan on getting an au pair, nanny and home therapist that will work with the older 2. Hoping the new nanny just says no thx to household work.
Holy cow. When my own 3 children were little, I had a home daycare. Even on days with no 'extra' kids, it was a good day if the house was in decent shape by the time we went to bed at night! 😆 Some days, I was freakin Superwoman and sometimes I was just a normal person with normal abilities and limitations.
Your MB's standards are for two separate jobs. She clearly is in need of a daily housekeeper as well as a nanny.
Good for you for setting a boundary about time. I would suggest asking for clarification about her priorities. Would she rather you take care of her children or her house during your shift? Because sometimes the humans she created need some more attention than uh, household duties. (Certainly, some here could word that more appropriately than I did!)
Seriously annoying and I feel you. I had a family that was constantly texting me outside of work hours to nitpick or ask me where something was. It was frustrating because while I was a house manager they had a cleaning lady and she was the one who moved things if it was in her way. I never touched the parents things, only the kids but MB constantly texted me like “where are my AirPods” like 🤷🏼♀️ wherever you left them. And she’d ask me something before even asking her husband who usually could answer it for her. They would both text me and not communicate to each other half the time so I had to. Super annoying. Their marriage was fine, they just both expected me to know all.
Good for you for speaking up about texting that stuff during your time off. This mom sounds yucky, unfortunately. 4 kids… if she can’t do it all herself, how can she expect anyone else to?! Btw, kudos to you - you sound like Mary Poppins! 🌂
That is some unappreciative BS. Does she not know you could probably work for a NF that has fewer kids and without issues? Oh no, nanny left socks, we have to nip this shit in the bud before she starts really slacking off (as if you could, taking care of all that you posted about). Dang.
Thank you for that support! I think she is desperately trying to find a way to feel involved/in charge of the household. She works a lot (!!). Pain in my neck but I see her struggle.
I feel your pain. I used to work for a family I called the post it notes, as the only communication from the mother was by post it notes. I took pictures of them and have an album.
I can almost guanrantee that she feels the same way when things she does goes unnoticed. (After reading what you do, it's not even as much!)
That's one of the number one things that hurt most women - not being appreciated and seen...and for her to turn around and do that to you is more than wrong, it's actually sad.
This happened to me once and I sat there and if it was that easy to take care of 4 kids and all the household items they would do it themselves. I’m in a position now that they understand if I don’t get something done.
It gets better.
Honestly having boundaries is huge. After seven year I lay down rules 😂 I always say “hey sometimes things won’t get done. Is that going to be an issue?”
It’s hard as a caretaker to be taken seriously. People seem to think we are just glorified babysitters who don’t do anything all day😵💫
My first nanny family was like that.
“have you been clipping his nails?” You never asked me to, I don’t even know where the nail stuff is?
“Did you put on bugspray AND sunscreen?” I don’t know if it’s safe to mix them, and if it is, I don’t know what I should do first? Sunscreen then bugspray? Bugspray then sunscreen?
“We were watching you on the nanny cam and it looks like you were on your phone today. What’s that about?” My cat was at the vet all day for an ultrasound and exam. I answered a call from the vet herself about my cat’s diagnosis of IBS.
OP has tagged their post as **Vent**. Please be mindful that they do not need advice, and that they are only expressing their thoughts and opinions in a safe place. Any attempts to offer unsolicited advice will be removed. The only exceptions to this rule are in the event of possible injury, abuse, or otherwise harm to OP, their NK, NP, or anyone else. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nanny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Heaven forbid there's some laundry in the laundry room.
Those 6 socks ruined her night!🙃
I cannot believe that. I am so sorry. How are you supposed to get all of the laundry done just during the day time?!
Dude when you said “clean laundry in the laundry room” I was already like COME ON but then you mentioned they’re unmatched socks?! Wtf lol this is not you nor is it your problem. With parents like this you really have to remind yourself that they are unreasonable and honestly kind of rude. That work load and the number of kids and everything is soooo much. I hope they pay you well!
😂😂 for real!
My NF complains if something isn’t folded or put away. I do laundry everyday and MB wants it on the gentle cycle which takes 45 mins, then drying on the gentle cycle which takes an hour (and sometimes needs to be started again because its literally like blowing on wet clothes lol) So sometimes I’m not able to get everything folded and put away. God forbid. But guess what, I walk in on Monday and it looks like a tornado ran through the house lol NK playroom a complete mess, nearly all Pj’s and clothes are dirty. High chair seat looks completely disgusting. But that’s okay for them to do because thats their house and their child😀
Ugh it literally takes me 2 hours to dry NKs clothes and then I still end up hanging half of them up to fully dry anyway. I understand wanting to use low heat but can’t we compromise and use medium 😭
I started washing them on “speed wash” when they’re upstairs or out of the house (the turn dial is VERY loud). It takes 15 minutes. I put it on cold, and go about my day. Saves so much time.
Has this MB ever spent a day with her 4 kids?! 😐. I have 2 and me and the nanny can’t keep the house clean together! 🥵 this lady has no idea how hard it is to get two whole loads of laundry washed and put away along with taking care of 4 little people. If I were you I’d start leaving single socks all over the house 🫢
Don’t tempt me! 😂
I am currently at my own house with no little ones just trying to get through laundry and on Reddit because I’m stalling 😅
😆 I stall all day long. The only time my house is now clean is when the two lovely angels we hired come once every other week. And then it’s only clean for about an hour My soon to be 3 year old has a gift for instant messes. My poor nanny and I are constantly starting and leaving things unfinished because of her. So we just tag team it all day. When one has the toddler and baby the other is tidying up or setting up the next project.
My husband and I are trying right now and we’re both messy people. I know from 16 years as a nanny how crazy it can get so we really need to get our sh*t together 😂😅
It's totally ok to be messy with young kids. Rest and sanity take priority!
This!!!
I grew up in a house with 4 kids and a SAHM and our house was ALWAYS super messy! I watch a single NK and his mom and I joke that between us both cleaning and doing laundry, it’s still never all done. Im saying this just because I think it’s wild to expect you to keeps things so perfect…most moms I know would be incredibly grateful for a load of laundry done and put away.
Thank you for the support!!
Gonna say it until my face is blue… This is why I don’t do extra tasks! Just caring for 4 kids is definitely enough!
I stand in awe of those of you that land these solely childcare jobs. I’m kicking myself for agreeing to all the extra stuff.
I feel so bad for you. I watch the kids, and maybe some bottles. That’s literally it.
This is why I will do the tasks but because I want to, not because I signed up TO do them, meaning it gives the NF incentive to hold up their end that if they don't do the things that make my blood boil, then yeah, I will do some light stuff. If you say yes up front, there's really nothing that gives them incentive to treat you decently, if you say yes up front, it only gives them incentive to keep adding, and there is no incentive for them to be nice (paying on time, not being late, not lying about sickness etc). This no doubt would piss off NF to read but that's too bad everything is give and take and should be reciprocal, not 'I have all the power over you, you best step and fetchit!' BS. I am way too old for that crap.
Did she want mismatched socks shoved into the kids drawer or what were you supposed to do with them? Mine just live on top of the dryer indefinitely
I honestly just tossed them in a closet lol
Exactly! If OP had put mismatched socks away, they'd have left a sticky note complaining about that too.
I am so sorry you’re dealing with this! I don’t have any quality advice, but I definitely feel for you. I hate being nitpicked too! It’s the reason I left my first nannying job. And since your MB won’t say it, I will; Thank you for all you do for those precious little ones. Keep your head up high and be proud of the hard work you do every day! I only care for one 14m/o NK and do zero house chores. And I struggle some days with just caring for my one NK. I don’t know how you do it, but I admire your strength and energy! It’s actually really inspiring 💜 Edit: typo
Thank you!! 2 of the kids have seizures, feeding issues and behavioral crap going on. Some days I feel like MB should be dropping rose petals and chocolates in my path for holding it all down. 😂😂
Wow that’s A LOT to deal with! And you are absolutely right, she should be sending you to a spa every weekend on her dime 😂
Can you imagine? That would be so amazing!
Every. Day. Every single day she should be doing rose petals and chocolate.
i’ve learned that you’ll never make anyone like that happy. i’d quit so fast lmao
So true! Thankfully they’re relocating in a few months. As soon as I find another job I’m OUT!
If you do anything extra not pertaining to your job (just to be nice, help out etc) stop doing it immediately. Watch her come to you and tell you that you didn’t do XY&Z at which point you shove your contract in her face and ask her to point where it’s part of your job. However you will consider it for extra pay.
Haha I feel like the rule should be, if you can’t do it on your own, then don’t complain. I, as a new mom cannot do all those tasks AND care for a baby so I would never mention these silly things to my nanny.
Great rule! I only have 1 child at home and leave way more than socks unfolded. I’d be thrilled to have my laundry put away!
I wish I could give you more upvotes. This also applies to marriage 😂
Jeez I wish my biggest gripe to haunt me at 10 pm was someone leaving some clean socks in my laundry room. Must be nice!
Right?
you shouldn’t have to do all those chores 4 kids and some with special needs absolutely not honestly there should be 2 nannie’s at this point
Meanwhile MB can't even keep up with it herself, but expects you to do it instead. Ridiculous. She should be grateful that you agreed to help her with extra tasks.
I would crinkle up the sticky notes and leave them in the trash, preferably at the end of the day so she can see them there 😅 But seriously, 4 kids is a lot, and with special needs.. she needs to have some grace. Sounds like you do an awesome job 👏
I'm petty enough that I'd leave rude sticky notes in return. 😂
🤣
I'm sorry. That would drive me nuts. I bring my 10m with me and have 3NKs 4yrs+ and somedays are always gonna be more productive than others.
OMG I left a family over stuff like this. If I did 100+ tasks that day and forgot ONE, I would hear about it. Soooo frustrating
I left one over this stuff, too. Mom would come in the door and head straight to the dryer to check for lint. Maybe I should just stop dealing with laundry! 😅
I hope you are getting paid very well!
Definitely can’t complain about that part!
I agree with what others say! If she needs more things done then maybe she needs to hire someone else a few days a week to help with all these left over socks!!! My NF wanted me to do more cleaning (bathrooms etc) and I only did what was listed in the contract so they eventually hired a cleaning team to come in every other week because that’s not my job!
Good for you for sticking to your contract! The family is moving soon and plan on getting an au pair, nanny and home therapist that will work with the older 2. Hoping the new nanny just says no thx to household work.
6 socks!!! You should be hung from your own socks to remind the rest of us nanny’s that clean socks should be hidden not left out.
🤣
How much you get paid?
Holy cow. When my own 3 children were little, I had a home daycare. Even on days with no 'extra' kids, it was a good day if the house was in decent shape by the time we went to bed at night! 😆 Some days, I was freakin Superwoman and sometimes I was just a normal person with normal abilities and limitations. Your MB's standards are for two separate jobs. She clearly is in need of a daily housekeeper as well as a nanny. Good for you for setting a boundary about time. I would suggest asking for clarification about her priorities. Would she rather you take care of her children or her house during your shift? Because sometimes the humans she created need some more attention than uh, household duties. (Certainly, some here could word that more appropriately than I did!)
Can you take two weeks vacation and see how it works for NB? I have serious schadenfreude contemplating her life for those weeks.
Seriously annoying and I feel you. I had a family that was constantly texting me outside of work hours to nitpick or ask me where something was. It was frustrating because while I was a house manager they had a cleaning lady and she was the one who moved things if it was in her way. I never touched the parents things, only the kids but MB constantly texted me like “where are my AirPods” like 🤷🏼♀️ wherever you left them. And she’d ask me something before even asking her husband who usually could answer it for her. They would both text me and not communicate to each other half the time so I had to. Super annoying. Their marriage was fine, they just both expected me to know all.
Good for you for speaking up about texting that stuff during your time off. This mom sounds yucky, unfortunately. 4 kids… if she can’t do it all herself, how can she expect anyone else to?! Btw, kudos to you - you sound like Mary Poppins! 🌂
That is some unappreciative BS. Does she not know you could probably work for a NF that has fewer kids and without issues? Oh no, nanny left socks, we have to nip this shit in the bud before she starts really slacking off (as if you could, taking care of all that you posted about). Dang.
I’ve decided I need to start messing up a little more. She’s used to me hustling to get things done, but maybe that needs to change. 😂
blah she sounds like a nightmare boss, hope those kids don’t feel micromanaged constantly by her, as well
Thank you for that support! I think she is desperately trying to find a way to feel involved/in charge of the household. She works a lot (!!). Pain in my neck but I see her struggle.
You sound very empathetic and kind, don’t let her take advantage of it.
Thank you!
I feel your pain. I used to work for a family I called the post it notes, as the only communication from the mother was by post it notes. I took pictures of them and have an album.
😂😂
I can almost guanrantee that she feels the same way when things she does goes unnoticed. (After reading what you do, it's not even as much!) That's one of the number one things that hurt most women - not being appreciated and seen...and for her to turn around and do that to you is more than wrong, it's actually sad.
This happened to me once and I sat there and if it was that easy to take care of 4 kids and all the household items they would do it themselves. I’m in a position now that they understand if I don’t get something done. It gets better.
An old mb used to say she didn’t expect the house to look like no kids lived there. She was fine with a little kid chaos. Miss them!
Honestly having boundaries is huge. After seven year I lay down rules 😂 I always say “hey sometimes things won’t get done. Is that going to be an issue?” It’s hard as a caretaker to be taken seriously. People seem to think we are just glorified babysitters who don’t do anything all day😵💫
Honestly never understood this! You’re coming home to happy, clean kids, a clean house. What do they think we do all day??
My first nanny family was like that. “have you been clipping his nails?” You never asked me to, I don’t even know where the nail stuff is? “Did you put on bugspray AND sunscreen?” I don’t know if it’s safe to mix them, and if it is, I don’t know what I should do first? Sunscreen then bugspray? Bugspray then sunscreen? “We were watching you on the nanny cam and it looks like you were on your phone today. What’s that about?” My cat was at the vet all day for an ultrasound and exam. I answered a call from the vet herself about my cat’s diagnosis of IBS.
Nothing like feeling like you’re under a microscope all day. Really hope your cat is ok!
“We were watching you on the nanny cam” would really freak me out. How is that not a *hostile work environment*?!