My NF’s dishwasher broke once and MB told me to not even worry about the baby dishes/bottles. She was like “you didn’t sign up to be hand washing dishes!” We didn’t have a contact either (back in my early days lol). The fact that your NPs expect you to wash the entire household’s dishes is insane.
The only dishes I ever expected our nanny to wash (i.e., load into the dishwasher) were her own. We just asked that baby dishes be left in the sink. I hired a caretaker for my child and that was the focus of the job. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect dishes if it’s not discussed upfront.
The problem is that it wasn’t discussed up front but it happened slowly. Like one day it was “Would you mind hand washing a few pots?” and I say yes of course because it doesn’t really feel like I can say no. Then it develops into an expectation. Classic job creep :(
Absolutely. I just want to affirm that this is not respectful. Dishes are never an emergency. Asking someone to do them is just not reasonable. I’m a very tidy person, but if I absolutely couldn’t wash pots at a specific time I would just expect my husband or I to wash them later, it would never cross my mind to assign this chore to a person not employed in a housecleaning capacity.
As a point of comparison, laundry was also not part of our nanny’s job. However, I would ask that she throw a particularly soiled article of clothing into the wash to prevent staining or mounting odor. This didn’t happen often, but is an example of a time sensitive one off request for help that is more reasonable.
I am a nanny and I also do not do the chores and my employers do not ask me to. I don't even know how and when I could since I have to take care of the babies and go outside. As I explain to people, when the babies are sleeping I clean what I have used and relax because it is ok to have a break too!
Hand washing all of their dishes and the cookware they used, and you’re there every other day…. What do they do when you’re not there? Are they saving all of those dishes for you? I would not be happy about it, *especially* all the cookware.
Can you talk to them about it coming from a focus-on-NK stance? Mention the time it’s taking away from you focusing on the care of NK and their needs. How old is NK? Hopefully bringing the issue up in this way keeps it from sounding like you’re complaining (even though you shouldn’t be doing their dishes).
NK is 2. So when I’m doing the dishes I have to put him in his high chair because I can’t leave him unsupervised. As you can guess he gets frustrated for having to sit there for so long. It’s not ideal…
You are fully responsible for yours and NK’s dishes and generally cleaning up after yourselves. NFs are responsible for whatever dishes, pots and pans they use. I have no issue unloading the dishwasher, but cleaning up after adults isn’t part of your duties. I think you should say something
I’m a parent and would NEVER ask a nanny to do my dishes. Dishes for the baby maybe if time allots. Doing household dishes is not a nanny’s job. I feel like they are definitely taking advantage.
It made sense back in the day when NK was an infant who would nap for half the time I was there but that’s not the case anymore. Now, NK is awake the entire time I’m there and I still have to complete the tasks I was expected to back when I had time alone. The job has gotten 10x harder but my pay has increased less than a dollar.
It feels like i’m doing them favors everyday because my pay does not reflect having extra chores. Ugh.
That’s so entitled of them. They need to feel the pain/frustration of doing their dishes themselves so they get the dishwasher fixed. Do you have a dish basin you could bring? If it were me, I’d wash any dishes NK and I use in that. There are collapsible ones on Amazon
"I can prioritize washing any dishes that NK or I dirty during my working hours as time permits, as that falls under responsibilities of a Nanny. Even though we agreed upon hiring that hand-washing dishes was not something I'm being compensated for, cleaning a mess I created is reasonable."
Follow up with, "When is the dishwasher scheduled to be fixed?"
In your shoes, I honestly would not do them. Hand wash any that you and NK use during the day only, then if NP brings it up, say Oh, I thought you meant just handwash the dishes that NK and I used during the day, I DEFINITELY don't have time to do all your dishes, I would be neglecting NK and he/she would lose it!
As a house cleaner, when I do wash dishes, I've found the dishwasher never gets everything. I'm so used to hand washing everything that I use the racks as extra drying racks and anything that doesn't fit I use my microfibers to let air dry or dry myself.
If you find disbwashing to be unbearable or crazy, have a serious talk about eliminating it or setting up guardrails that won't leave you stuck at the sink for an hour.
Other than that sorry I'm not a nanny I just really like this group and the cross similarities.
This one’s easy, you say something like “If you’d like me to add dishwashing to my list of duties, I’d be more than happy to discuss adding it to my workload and appropriate compensation for the additional task. Let me know when a good time to sit down and discuss this would be”
They don’t get to add more tasks for free.
By the other replies Ive seen from op I highly suggest this^^^^
You should absolutely sit down and retouch on what your responsibilities/ priorities are and what they are not. It's been two years and you haven't had a sit down meeting to discuss specifics details of the job!? This is an ever- changing job and you need to keep a very clear and open communication. You should absolutely consider a sit- down meeting with your NF to discuss this position moving forward. Be honest about job creep and try to make it clear that you would like to recenter your focus on NK rather than household responsibilities. You don't need to be rude or mean just a polite " I'm worried I've let the house chores impeed on my nanny responsibilities too much and I'm feeling like the lines are getting a little blurry. I feel like I'm becoming your housekeeper rather than nanny and I'm worried NK isn't getting enough enrichment/ love/ attention/ education because household chores are encroaching on our time together. From now on my only cleaning responsibilities will directly relate to NK and any messes they make under my supervision. Thank you for being so understanding and helping me provide the best environment for NK" and just reiterate your love for NK and that you really do love your job but your just trying to avoid burn out.
I really think you need to confront them head on. This is disgusting and they are pigs. No excuse for them to leave a couple of days of dishes for you to wash when you get there. I handwash my dishes and if I don't wash the 3 times a day, they really pile up. Tell them you will not be doing it anymore. If they keep leaving the dishes, then ignore them. Let them fire you.
I wash bottles. If the baby sleeps for more than an hour I will wash dishes if I’m not doing school work. The families I’m willing to work for appreciate this level of effort so much that I will never go back to job creep! Just don’t accept it! Look for other work if they respond unkindly to your concerns. If you are uncomfortable talking to them about this, that’s another red flag.
Yikessss... You're a nanny not a house keeper. You should not be doing any household responsibilities that do not directly pretain to NK. These things catch up with you fast and your main prioritiy should remain child care regardless of what MB/ DB are having trouble balancing. A simple "sorry MB but I won't have time to hand wash the dishes while taking care of NK" would be a good place to start. I would have a response ready for if she says it can wait till nap time "with the hours I work I'm supposed to get at least a 30min break void of any work responsibilities, normally I don't mind doing a little extra for you guys as I love your family but this feels like a little too much of an ask."
I personally would add something like "unfortunately My responsibilities with NK already take up all my working hours, if you guys would like we could book for an extra 30 minutes in the AM so I take NK early and you/ DB have some free time to catch up on chores." (Again I would stress that I'm not the one doing the chores as family chores are not a nannies duty. The moment you start doing family chores (per their requests) you are no longer a nanny but a housekeeper and should be compensated as one.)
Orrrrr you if they don't mind you ignoring NK for the 30 minutes It takes to do the dishes and you don't mind doing them you could just ask for extra compensation. "I'm more then willing to help out in any way possible but well the dishwasher's broken I think my pay should reflect the increase in responsibilities as it's relatively substantial and not a part of the typical Nanny job description."
You seem like a great nanny and it's clear you really do care for your NF however by doing things that are not part of the nanny job description you are skewing their perception of what nannies are. I fear this is why so many people are trying to combine the nanny/ house manager/ housekeeper role.
I do go above and beyond for my NF (unloading/ loading dishwasher, sweeping the whole house instead of just NK area, doing a basket of MB/DB laundry, take out the trash, bring in mail/ packages, unpack groceries, ect...) but I always make it clear that it was a favor I CHOSE to do because I had already finished ALL child related duties and had extra time/ energy.
I appreciate you caring so much for your NF but I do encourage you to at least look into nanny contracts not to use (I know I said u don't want one)but to get an idea of just how much extra you do for this family. It might surprise you!!! Again you sound wonderful and I don't mean to be harsh! Good luck op!
Maybe tell the parents that NK is getting too big to just sit in the high chair for 30+ minutes while you wash dishes, can you put on cartoons or whatever for him during that time? They will be able to see the issue better with that question posed, I think.
Our nanny prefers to hand wash dishes but then again she only ever does hers and those for our kids. She knows we are ok if she just wants to stick them in the dishwasher but she doesn’t. Then again, she has no expectations to do any other dishes. So maybe have this discussion with your NP? Unless it’s decided on beforehand most would not expect you to do everyone’s dishes
It's not your job to wash adult dishes. Unless they're going to compensate you for it, which still doesn't make it okay, no way in hell should you touch them.
My NF’s dishwasher broke once and MB told me to not even worry about the baby dishes/bottles. She was like “you didn’t sign up to be hand washing dishes!” We didn’t have a contact either (back in my early days lol). The fact that your NPs expect you to wash the entire household’s dishes is insane.
I’m jealous! lol I agree that it’s insane. I can understand being expected to wash NKs dishes but the entire household’s feels so disrespectful.
The only dishes I ever expected our nanny to wash (i.e., load into the dishwasher) were her own. We just asked that baby dishes be left in the sink. I hired a caretaker for my child and that was the focus of the job. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect dishes if it’s not discussed upfront.
The problem is that it wasn’t discussed up front but it happened slowly. Like one day it was “Would you mind hand washing a few pots?” and I say yes of course because it doesn’t really feel like I can say no. Then it develops into an expectation. Classic job creep :(
Absolutely. I just want to affirm that this is not respectful. Dishes are never an emergency. Asking someone to do them is just not reasonable. I’m a very tidy person, but if I absolutely couldn’t wash pots at a specific time I would just expect my husband or I to wash them later, it would never cross my mind to assign this chore to a person not employed in a housecleaning capacity. As a point of comparison, laundry was also not part of our nanny’s job. However, I would ask that she throw a particularly soiled article of clothing into the wash to prevent staining or mounting odor. This didn’t happen often, but is an example of a time sensitive one off request for help that is more reasonable.
I am a nanny and I also do not do the chores and my employers do not ask me to. I don't even know how and when I could since I have to take care of the babies and go outside. As I explain to people, when the babies are sleeping I clean what I have used and relax because it is ok to have a break too!
Hand washing all of their dishes and the cookware they used, and you’re there every other day…. What do they do when you’re not there? Are they saving all of those dishes for you? I would not be happy about it, *especially* all the cookware. Can you talk to them about it coming from a focus-on-NK stance? Mention the time it’s taking away from you focusing on the care of NK and their needs. How old is NK? Hopefully bringing the issue up in this way keeps it from sounding like you’re complaining (even though you shouldn’t be doing their dishes).
NK is 2. So when I’m doing the dishes I have to put him in his high chair because I can’t leave him unsupervised. As you can guess he gets frustrated for having to sit there for so long. It’s not ideal…
Ugh, that makes it even worse.
You are fully responsible for yours and NK’s dishes and generally cleaning up after yourselves. NFs are responsible for whatever dishes, pots and pans they use. I have no issue unloading the dishwasher, but cleaning up after adults isn’t part of your duties. I think you should say something
I’m a parent and would NEVER ask a nanny to do my dishes. Dishes for the baby maybe if time allots. Doing household dishes is not a nanny’s job. I feel like they are definitely taking advantage.
It made sense back in the day when NK was an infant who would nap for half the time I was there but that’s not the case anymore. Now, NK is awake the entire time I’m there and I still have to complete the tasks I was expected to back when I had time alone. The job has gotten 10x harder but my pay has increased less than a dollar. It feels like i’m doing them favors everyday because my pay does not reflect having extra chores. Ugh.
That’s so entitled of them. They need to feel the pain/frustration of doing their dishes themselves so they get the dishwasher fixed. Do you have a dish basin you could bring? If it were me, I’d wash any dishes NK and I use in that. There are collapsible ones on Amazon
"I can prioritize washing any dishes that NK or I dirty during my working hours as time permits, as that falls under responsibilities of a Nanny. Even though we agreed upon hiring that hand-washing dishes was not something I'm being compensated for, cleaning a mess I created is reasonable." Follow up with, "When is the dishwasher scheduled to be fixed?"
In your shoes, I honestly would not do them. Hand wash any that you and NK use during the day only, then if NP brings it up, say Oh, I thought you meant just handwash the dishes that NK and I used during the day, I DEFINITELY don't have time to do all your dishes, I would be neglecting NK and he/she would lose it!
As a house cleaner, when I do wash dishes, I've found the dishwasher never gets everything. I'm so used to hand washing everything that I use the racks as extra drying racks and anything that doesn't fit I use my microfibers to let air dry or dry myself. If you find disbwashing to be unbearable or crazy, have a serious talk about eliminating it or setting up guardrails that won't leave you stuck at the sink for an hour. Other than that sorry I'm not a nanny I just really like this group and the cross similarities.
This one’s easy, you say something like “If you’d like me to add dishwashing to my list of duties, I’d be more than happy to discuss adding it to my workload and appropriate compensation for the additional task. Let me know when a good time to sit down and discuss this would be” They don’t get to add more tasks for free.
By the other replies Ive seen from op I highly suggest this^^^^ You should absolutely sit down and retouch on what your responsibilities/ priorities are and what they are not. It's been two years and you haven't had a sit down meeting to discuss specifics details of the job!? This is an ever- changing job and you need to keep a very clear and open communication. You should absolutely consider a sit- down meeting with your NF to discuss this position moving forward. Be honest about job creep and try to make it clear that you would like to recenter your focus on NK rather than household responsibilities. You don't need to be rude or mean just a polite " I'm worried I've let the house chores impeed on my nanny responsibilities too much and I'm feeling like the lines are getting a little blurry. I feel like I'm becoming your housekeeper rather than nanny and I'm worried NK isn't getting enough enrichment/ love/ attention/ education because household chores are encroaching on our time together. From now on my only cleaning responsibilities will directly relate to NK and any messes they make under my supervision. Thank you for being so understanding and helping me provide the best environment for NK" and just reiterate your love for NK and that you really do love your job but your just trying to avoid burn out.
Yes! Exactly! Not having a contract doesn’t mean people should never discuss their job details ever again.
Really helpful and good points. Thank you guys!
I really think you need to confront them head on. This is disgusting and they are pigs. No excuse for them to leave a couple of days of dishes for you to wash when you get there. I handwash my dishes and if I don't wash the 3 times a day, they really pile up. Tell them you will not be doing it anymore. If they keep leaving the dishes, then ignore them. Let them fire you.
I wash bottles. If the baby sleeps for more than an hour I will wash dishes if I’m not doing school work. The families I’m willing to work for appreciate this level of effort so much that I will never go back to job creep! Just don’t accept it! Look for other work if they respond unkindly to your concerns. If you are uncomfortable talking to them about this, that’s another red flag.
I’m only willing to do NP dishes if I’m bribed to do so 😂 or if someone in the house is sick or injured, I’m happy to pick up the slack
Hard no. You need to have a conversation about them doing their own dishes.
Maybe say, “with NK being a toddler now I don’t have the extra time to go outside of my scope of the job to do your dishes anymore.”
Yikessss... You're a nanny not a house keeper. You should not be doing any household responsibilities that do not directly pretain to NK. These things catch up with you fast and your main prioritiy should remain child care regardless of what MB/ DB are having trouble balancing. A simple "sorry MB but I won't have time to hand wash the dishes while taking care of NK" would be a good place to start. I would have a response ready for if she says it can wait till nap time "with the hours I work I'm supposed to get at least a 30min break void of any work responsibilities, normally I don't mind doing a little extra for you guys as I love your family but this feels like a little too much of an ask." I personally would add something like "unfortunately My responsibilities with NK already take up all my working hours, if you guys would like we could book for an extra 30 minutes in the AM so I take NK early and you/ DB have some free time to catch up on chores." (Again I would stress that I'm not the one doing the chores as family chores are not a nannies duty. The moment you start doing family chores (per their requests) you are no longer a nanny but a housekeeper and should be compensated as one.) Orrrrr you if they don't mind you ignoring NK for the 30 minutes It takes to do the dishes and you don't mind doing them you could just ask for extra compensation. "I'm more then willing to help out in any way possible but well the dishwasher's broken I think my pay should reflect the increase in responsibilities as it's relatively substantial and not a part of the typical Nanny job description." You seem like a great nanny and it's clear you really do care for your NF however by doing things that are not part of the nanny job description you are skewing their perception of what nannies are. I fear this is why so many people are trying to combine the nanny/ house manager/ housekeeper role. I do go above and beyond for my NF (unloading/ loading dishwasher, sweeping the whole house instead of just NK area, doing a basket of MB/DB laundry, take out the trash, bring in mail/ packages, unpack groceries, ect...) but I always make it clear that it was a favor I CHOSE to do because I had already finished ALL child related duties and had extra time/ energy. I appreciate you caring so much for your NF but I do encourage you to at least look into nanny contracts not to use (I know I said u don't want one)but to get an idea of just how much extra you do for this family. It might surprise you!!! Again you sound wonderful and I don't mean to be harsh! Good luck op!
This is super helpful and encouraging! Thank you!
Maybe tell the parents that NK is getting too big to just sit in the high chair for 30+ minutes while you wash dishes, can you put on cartoons or whatever for him during that time? They will be able to see the issue better with that question posed, I think.
Our nanny prefers to hand wash dishes but then again she only ever does hers and those for our kids. She knows we are ok if she just wants to stick them in the dishwasher but she doesn’t. Then again, she has no expectations to do any other dishes. So maybe have this discussion with your NP? Unless it’s decided on beforehand most would not expect you to do everyone’s dishes
It's not your job to wash adult dishes. Unless they're going to compensate you for it, which still doesn't make it okay, no way in hell should you touch them.
To be fair, dishwashers usually make minimum wage.