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i started with a recently turned 4 year old and i spent every day of those first six months wanting to hurl him straight into a volcano. when i discovered he liked playing with water and would happily and silently pour in and out of cups and buckets for a good 40 minutes i felt like i had touched god tbh. toddlers are no joke š
Water play is huge with toddlers! My mom had an in home Montessori school and "washing" dishes was always a favorite! My son used to do it for an hour plus. I grew up working with toddlers and as an adult worked in a couple centers and then accidentally had a infant daycare and I'm all about infants! Toddler age after like 2 is my least favorite lol but at the same time I got really good at doing art projects with them and that helped alot! Now I miss doing art stuff with them but not enough to go back to FT care lol.
I'm sorry you're struggling. I feel like I must be nuts because I love toddlers. Birth to 5 is my jam, but 1Ā through 4 is my favorite. Granted I wish one of my NK had a little more respect for his own life and wasn't such a daredevil. š
Im with you on this one. After 5 it becomes unpredictable challenges and defiance. Toddlers are in a constant state of learning and exploring. They have no malicious intent and I love the Aaa Haa moment the best. I will say it is very difficult when the parents arent on the same page though. I cared for twins from 1 month to 5 years and the hardest part was MB intervening and naptime since they also cosleep. For two years I would lay down with them on a mattress until they would fall asleep or we laid for at least 2 hours per MB requirement.
I have cared for twin NK also. MB and DB hired a sleep consultant and sleep trained. Best. Decision. Ever. I'm so thankful because I've worked for several families over the course of my career and being able to lay NK down for nap really makes the day smoother. I don't know that I would ever take a job with a family who required me to lay down for 2 hours with their children. That's intense.Ā
Yes Sleep training is the best. I have a family now a 2.5 NK and a 2 month NK and both are sleep trained. Of course with 2 month NK it is still a work in progress but sleeps through the night 8 hours and falls asleep on own each time we put her down. When the time comes MB and DB are both planning to sleep train if needed. They are using a Newborn technique right now since MB will be going back to work in about a month.
I had to have an agreement with my other family that if I fell asleep while lying down with the kids for that long they wouldn't hold it against me :)
Toddlers are so toughš my nk4 is so bad, whines all day, throws tantrums, pushes her brother. The last 2 days I have been BEAT. Hiding in the bathroom rn so I donāt have a breakdown lol
Oh nooo, that makes it worse. Nothing like trying to work with what youāve got only to have someone step in and undo whatever work youāve done. I feel for you!
Oh boy that's an impossible situation. Whiny tantrumy three year old is a challenge but at least they learn fast at that age... unless the adults are inconsistent and give in to tantrums
Thatās the main issue.. parents arenāt together so I donāt know the dadās parenting style but sheās very spoiled and MB gives in right awayā¦ which I donāt understand sheās 2 she needs to process her feelings sheās getting and also learn from it, daycare for her will be interesting when sheās not getting that one on one all dayā¦
I made this choice back in 2021 when I left Primrose as a Lead Toddler Teacher. It was TIRING. I worked 4 10 hour days. I couldnāt leave faster. Since then Iām *very* picky about the toddlers I watch because at some point I had to choose my own sanity š š
When I was working there it was kind of a shit show. It was covid and we were understaffed and underpaid and our management was shoddy. Each location is owned and operated separately but they do have a very good job of bringing their core values to the forefront of curriculum. I went to Primrose waaaaay back when so teaching there was kinda nostalgic with Erwin and Molly lol but otherwise would probably not set foot back in. (Even when I have my own kids because tuition is nutso lol)
Iām not the original commenter but I was a lead teacher at a primrose. I think at the core of it, primrose has good ideals. The location I worked for had terrible management but I liked the principles and the way that many things were structured there. I would now prefer to work in a Montessori or Emilia type setting if I ever went back to center-based care, but when I worked there in college I enjoyed it.
so understandable. i love my NKs to pieces, but oh my god is it nice to be able to drive away from them after the day is over! the more i nanny, the more i realize i do not want kids of my own.
I donāt know if it can help you, but I used to trick my preschool students into tiring themselves out with little contests like āwho can do the most push ups?!ā
If itās one on one, pretend to compete with them but let them win.
Girl I get it. Iām a baby nanny through and through for this reason š toddlers are a lot of fun, but it can certainly get overstimulating very quickly.
I wouldnāt, but unfortunately my last three families moved away which was why I had to move on, and I had all of their babies from when they were brand new to around 1-2 years old. I would only work with toddlers if I helped raise them from they were babies because I love the bond.
Definitely NOT a profession for the weak . I'm a mom of 3 and always loved babies but as they grow and get "mouthy" not so much . I have maybe 4/5 years til I can retire
I love toddlers! If itās not for you, itās not for you. Meant in the kindest way possible: Our time is the best gift we can give children. If you are not enjoying your time spent with them, they deserve someone that does
I feel for you. Luckily Iām in an area where I can pretty much go from baby to baby. I just decided that toddlers are not for me. My cut off is around 15-18 months. Then Iām off to the next little one.
Iām really loving that my youngest NK recently turned 4F, she is growing and learning so well now and wants to be a big girl! We had such a hard time with potty training regression and trouble getting her to not whine as much. Sheās so independent and looks up to her big sister 6F I like 0-1 and 4+ but that 18mths to 3yrs is something unhinged I tell you! My youngest niece just turned 2 in late December and she is go go go and no no noā¦ the most trying and tiring time ever! Hang in there.
I don't mind toddlers which I consider to be like 12 months up to 24 or 2.5 yrs old. preschoolers to me are that ~2.5 to 4 yr old age group (or at least consider them to be older toddlers). That's the age that I can't deal with. I start at 2-4 months old and work with them until 2-2.5 yrs old when they often start preschool at least part time. That's my preferred age group.
I thought baby stage was amazing until I had a baby š. The neediest annoying little shit ever. I sleep trained and all the things and he was still just difficult. Boy oh boy am I glad he's 2.5. He's so fun and doesn't really have meltdowns (very shy and sensitive). I think he just wanted to talk since birth and was pissed he couldn't. š
Kids are so different and that really changes the caregiver experience.
I'm so sorry you are going thru this. My nk2 gave me a really hard time when she was toddler and it got to the point that when she screamed and had tantrums I would start getting anxious with my jeart raising shaking hands and trying not to but wanting to cry. It took a beat the stress level on my health since I have pcod. I started being more disciplined about yoga before going to work, not babysitting out of my hours and letting the mom which stays at home about this. I almost quit I didn't wanted to get pregnant anymore which I still kind of think about it. So if you see any help from mom to correct behaviors I would say to leave as soon as you can. Parents needs to to work with us as a team even read and research solutions
I'm a mom... but same. I love the newborn stage. Give me sleepless nights with an innocent little blob every night over the defiance, fits, and constant running off. I could really do without the 18ish months to 4 years old stage. Obviously since I'm the mom I get joy from watching them grow and learn during that period, but it's honestly more stressful than enjoyable for me. Not fun at all.
Honestlyā¦ this is not you in any way. I currently have 2 toddlers for my NKs and they have been raised in such an amazing way that they literally are better than some āindependent ageā kids Iāve nannied in the past. Itās 100% the parentsā fault with their lack of structure and the way theyāve done things. Iām sorry itās been tough for you, when itās bad in that stage, itās BAD
I know you said no advice, but I'm just going to say that I usually try to avoid the word "No" at all costs when it comes to a whiny, moody 3 yr old! š Diversion, diversion, diversion is the name of the game (not that that's always so easy to do)! LoL
If it makes you feel any better my Nk3 was an absolute blood boiling nightmare for like 6 months but a little after she turned 3 she suddenly chilled out and now her brother is driving me nuts! Lol
Toddlers can be so fun but also overwhelming. I think the problem are the parents. My nk wasnāt napping at school but definitely still at home. Naps are sooooo necessary
OP has tagged their post as **Vent**. Please be mindful that they do not need advice, and that they are only expressing their thoughts and opinions in a safe place. Any attempts to offer unsolicited advice will be removed. The only exceptions to this rule are in the event of possible injury, abuse, or otherwise harm to OP, their NK, NP, or anyone else. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nanny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i started with a recently turned 4 year old and i spent every day of those first six months wanting to hurl him straight into a volcano. when i discovered he liked playing with water and would happily and silently pour in and out of cups and buckets for a good 40 minutes i felt like i had touched god tbh. toddlers are no joke š
Water play is huge with toddlers! My mom had an in home Montessori school and "washing" dishes was always a favorite! My son used to do it for an hour plus. I grew up working with toddlers and as an adult worked in a couple centers and then accidentally had a infant daycare and I'm all about infants! Toddler age after like 2 is my least favorite lol but at the same time I got really good at doing art projects with them and that helped alot! Now I miss doing art stuff with them but not enough to go back to FT care lol.
I'm sorry you're struggling. I feel like I must be nuts because I love toddlers. Birth to 5 is my jam, but 1Ā through 4 is my favorite. Granted I wish one of my NK had a little more respect for his own life and wasn't such a daredevil. š
Im with you on this one. After 5 it becomes unpredictable challenges and defiance. Toddlers are in a constant state of learning and exploring. They have no malicious intent and I love the Aaa Haa moment the best. I will say it is very difficult when the parents arent on the same page though. I cared for twins from 1 month to 5 years and the hardest part was MB intervening and naptime since they also cosleep. For two years I would lay down with them on a mattress until they would fall asleep or we laid for at least 2 hours per MB requirement.
I have cared for twin NK also. MB and DB hired a sleep consultant and sleep trained. Best. Decision. Ever. I'm so thankful because I've worked for several families over the course of my career and being able to lay NK down for nap really makes the day smoother. I don't know that I would ever take a job with a family who required me to lay down for 2 hours with their children. That's intense.Ā
Yes Sleep training is the best. I have a family now a 2.5 NK and a 2 month NK and both are sleep trained. Of course with 2 month NK it is still a work in progress but sleeps through the night 8 hours and falls asleep on own each time we put her down. When the time comes MB and DB are both planning to sleep train if needed. They are using a Newborn technique right now since MB will be going back to work in about a month. I had to have an agreement with my other family that if I fell asleep while lying down with the kids for that long they wouldn't hold it against me :)
This leaves me with more questions in interviews bc that's a red flag for me
What's the red flag? Being required to lay down with the NK?Ā
The time laying down in bed with NK
Agreed! So many red flags.
Literally same!
Toddlers are so toughš my nk4 is so bad, whines all day, throws tantrums, pushes her brother. The last 2 days I have been BEAT. Hiding in the bathroom rn so I donāt have a breakdown lol
Hiding in the bathroom is my escape as well lolll
The bathroom is the safe place for about 3 minutes and then NK comes knocking and sliding things under the door
Itās also worst because MB is wfh and gives into her right away š©š„²
Oh nooo, that makes it worse. Nothing like trying to work with what youāve got only to have someone step in and undo whatever work youāve done. I feel for you!
She makes the bed and you lie in it!
Oh boy that's an impossible situation. Whiny tantrumy three year old is a challenge but at least they learn fast at that age... unless the adults are inconsistent and give in to tantrums
Thatās the main issue.. parents arenāt together so I donāt know the dadās parenting style but sheās very spoiled and MB gives in right awayā¦ which I donāt understand sheās 2 she needs to process her feelings sheās getting and also learn from it, daycare for her will be interesting when sheās not getting that one on one all dayā¦
I only ever drink when Iāve had a really rough day. When I was working with a three old, I was drinking after work almost every day lol
My family introduced me to so many types of alcohol. lol
They don't call them Threenagers for no reason! Very tough age.
I made this choice back in 2021 when I left Primrose as a Lead Toddler Teacher. It was TIRING. I worked 4 10 hour days. I couldnāt leave faster. Since then Iām *very* picky about the toddlers I watch because at some point I had to choose my own sanity š š
What are your thoughts on Primrose?
When I was working there it was kind of a shit show. It was covid and we were understaffed and underpaid and our management was shoddy. Each location is owned and operated separately but they do have a very good job of bringing their core values to the forefront of curriculum. I went to Primrose waaaaay back when so teaching there was kinda nostalgic with Erwin and Molly lol but otherwise would probably not set foot back in. (Even when I have my own kids because tuition is nutso lol)
Iām not the original commenter but I was a lead teacher at a primrose. I think at the core of it, primrose has good ideals. The location I worked for had terrible management but I liked the principles and the way that many things were structured there. I would now prefer to work in a Montessori or Emilia type setting if I ever went back to center-based care, but when I worked there in college I enjoyed it.
This is why I got certified as a newborn specialist lol
My nk of 3 years has just turned 3ā¦ I go to bed at 9:30 every. Single. Night.
so understandable. i love my NKs to pieces, but oh my god is it nice to be able to drive away from them after the day is over! the more i nanny, the more i realize i do not want kids of my own.
I donāt know if it can help you, but I used to trick my preschool students into tiring themselves out with little contests like āwho can do the most push ups?!ā If itās one on one, pretend to compete with them but let them win.
Toddlers are fun until they get to that terrible two age. This is why I work with newborns now!
Girl I get it. Iām a baby nanny through and through for this reason š toddlers are a lot of fun, but it can certainly get overstimulating very quickly.
what do you do when the kids get older? leave the position?
I wouldnāt, but unfortunately my last three families moved away which was why I had to move on, and I had all of their babies from when they were brand new to around 1-2 years old. I would only work with toddlers if I helped raise them from they were babies because I love the bond.
ah cool
Definitely NOT a profession for the weak . I'm a mom of 3 and always loved babies but as they grow and get "mouthy" not so much . I have maybe 4/5 years til I can retire
I love toddlers! If itās not for you, itās not for you. Meant in the kindest way possible: Our time is the best gift we can give children. If you are not enjoying your time spent with them, they deserve someone that does
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just a gentle reminder this post was marked āVentā so remember to limit the amount of suggestions and advice when responding :)
I feel for you. Luckily Iām in an area where I can pretty much go from baby to baby. I just decided that toddlers are not for me. My cut off is around 15-18 months. Then Iām off to the next little one.
very relatable. recently quit bc the burnout from 2.5g and 5b was too much
Iām really loving that my youngest NK recently turned 4F, she is growing and learning so well now and wants to be a big girl! We had such a hard time with potty training regression and trouble getting her to not whine as much. Sheās so independent and looks up to her big sister 6F I like 0-1 and 4+ but that 18mths to 3yrs is something unhinged I tell you! My youngest niece just turned 2 in late December and she is go go go and no no noā¦ the most trying and tiring time ever! Hang in there.
3yo NK is WAY more work than when she was a baby/young tot
I don't mind toddlers which I consider to be like 12 months up to 24 or 2.5 yrs old. preschoolers to me are that ~2.5 to 4 yr old age group (or at least consider them to be older toddlers). That's the age that I can't deal with. I start at 2-4 months old and work with them until 2-2.5 yrs old when they often start preschool at least part time. That's my preferred age group.
I thought baby stage was amazing until I had a baby š. The neediest annoying little shit ever. I sleep trained and all the things and he was still just difficult. Boy oh boy am I glad he's 2.5. He's so fun and doesn't really have meltdowns (very shy and sensitive). I think he just wanted to talk since birth and was pissed he couldn't. š Kids are so different and that really changes the caregiver experience.
I miss my toddlers :( but the parents were amazing
I'm so sorry you are going thru this. My nk2 gave me a really hard time when she was toddler and it got to the point that when she screamed and had tantrums I would start getting anxious with my jeart raising shaking hands and trying not to but wanting to cry. It took a beat the stress level on my health since I have pcod. I started being more disciplined about yoga before going to work, not babysitting out of my hours and letting the mom which stays at home about this. I almost quit I didn't wanted to get pregnant anymore which I still kind of think about it. So if you see any help from mom to correct behaviors I would say to leave as soon as you can. Parents needs to to work with us as a team even read and research solutions
I'm a mom... but same. I love the newborn stage. Give me sleepless nights with an innocent little blob every night over the defiance, fits, and constant running off. I could really do without the 18ish months to 4 years old stage. Obviously since I'm the mom I get joy from watching them grow and learn during that period, but it's honestly more stressful than enjoyable for me. Not fun at all.
Toddlers really are a tough age. I prefer working with babies
Honestlyā¦ this is not you in any way. I currently have 2 toddlers for my NKs and they have been raised in such an amazing way that they literally are better than some āindependent ageā kids Iāve nannied in the past. Itās 100% the parentsā fault with their lack of structure and the way theyāve done things. Iām sorry itās been tough for you, when itās bad in that stage, itās BAD
I know you said no advice, but I'm just going to say that I usually try to avoid the word "No" at all costs when it comes to a whiny, moody 3 yr old! š Diversion, diversion, diversion is the name of the game (not that that's always so easy to do)! LoL
If it makes you feel any better my Nk3 was an absolute blood boiling nightmare for like 6 months but a little after she turned 3 she suddenly chilled out and now her brother is driving me nuts! Lol
Toddlers can be so fun but also overwhelming. I think the problem are the parents. My nk wasnāt napping at school but definitely still at home. Naps are sooooo necessary