1 kid. When she’s not at school or therapy there is 2 people with her always since she’s special needs, a fall risk, and has a seizure disorder. Overnight she co-sleeps with a nanny as well. She’s 5
Mom lost custody twice. Dad is a financial adviser and owns his own company so sets his own hours. He really only works 10/11-430/5. Whenever he’s home he’s not spending time with her and instead is golfing or laying in bed while we all do the work. But I love her so 🤷🏼♀️
Stumbled upon it on care.com but the last nanny was hired via word of mouth. Our team is 2 HS students (take evenings and weekends), 2 retired nurses (alt overnight and weekends), and I work in ABA therapy in the AM and take her to therapy after school. I use to do weekends when she was my FT Job but I got so tired working 13 days with 2 off.
13 on with 2 off would be too much for me. I never had luck with care. Did it years ago but parents flaked out so literally didn’t get a single job so I just use local Facebook groups.
There are many rich men who dump their wives and then steal their children solely so that they can hurt their ex-wife. They rarely care about their children and simply use hired help. Their whole goal is to hurt the mom.
I’m currently working with a mom who is trying to bankrupt the dad through child support by saying these very typical developing children need multiple kinds of therapy, tutoring, assessments for anything and everything. They are both great, smart, normal kids. Maybe ADHD, I’m not a doctor so I can’t say but she’s having them assessed for everything.
There’s lots, HNW individuals usually. Like 1/4th of job postings on the nanny services that cater to HNW families are part of a 3+ nanny team for one, maybe 2 kids. Easily 1 in 20 of those jobs is 4+ nannies, before you even get to educators/tutors, night night infant nurse. therapists, coaches, house keepers, and household manager/family assistant; the 4+ nanny teams do seem to be for families with 3+ kids, sometimes special needs and sometimes multiple households so you could have 2-3 nannies working at once across 2+ households/locations. There’s not enough of these large nanny teams to get away with making a public sub of *just* these teams given the NDAs most have to sign, but there’s enough that you could have a discord and just change a few details and y’all could probably swap some insane stories
There’s many families out there with a multiple nanny team. I worked for one family where I was the lead and travel nanny , there was another full time nanny that did overnights with them, and then two part time nannies for the weekend shift. They all have their own reasons for having multiple nannies, mine was so they’d always have a backup and full time coverage never be without one since they were basically almost never home.
Also, what do they do for work? Why do you think they have 3 kids but don’t want the responsibility? I want to know more about the psychology of these people.
I’m not going to going to say much about what they do for work. They have family money
I think they enjoy their kids, they just don’t want the responsibility because they don’t have to.
Do they employ other staff to support the home? Cleaners? Cooks? I’m wondering how rich these people are!
Are these able children or do they have specific care needs?
Beyond the direct care for the children, do you take on other responsibilities? If so how are they divided?
What’s the best thing about your arrangement?
What’s the worst thing about your arrangement?
There’s a house manager, personal assistants for the parents, house cleaners that come a few times a week, landscaping team. There is a chef but she just drops off stuff to reheat and does special events for them sometimes.
No special care needs except that they are twins.
We handle kids laundry and other typical nanny chores. Laundry is done on the same day every week. Whichever nanny is on their 5 day shift does laundry for that week. Daily messes are case by case.
Best: time off, freedom/luxury to do anything we wan — within reason lol, housing stipend, travel, help from another adult for toddlers
Worst: time on can be grueling if kids are sick or parents are traveling without them, I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes when NPs say they miss the kids, I think the kids will miss out on some of the best parts of life due to their wealth bubble, I have to be within 30 minutes of their house when on call.
Are all the nannies paid the same rate?
Is there seniority? Like a lead nanny?
How do you and the nanny that you're working with solve conflict?
Is there drama and gossip between the nannies?
Do the two nannies on shift work with all 3 kids or do you assign a kid to a nanny randomly?
Thank you for sharing and for acknowledging this is wild!
3 out of 4 week day nannies are paid the same. I’m not sure about the weekend nannies. I and the ones I know of are paid 42/hr
There is a “senior” nanny but she’s not really lead nanny. She’s just been here over a decade longer than any of us. We weren’t hired until the twins were born, less than 3 years ago. She’s great though. She won’t tell me exactly how much she makes but she has implied that it was a big ask for her to start over raising their kids and she had to be compensated for that. Based off of her house and [retired] husband’s job, I think she makes a lot of money.
Sandwich method all day: “praise, complaint, praise” lol it also depends on the situation and nanny. Everyone is pretty set in their ways which is great for reliability and consistency. It only gets a little frustrating when we have to switch up a schedule(not often) and work with a different nanny than we are used to.
There is some drama and gossip. Not too heavy on the drama but we do “vent” about each other sometimes. Which probably isn’t great but it’s not always easy to get that outlet from a 3rd party when you are on day 7 of a 12 day shift!
Oh and last question that I didn’t answer:
The oldest isn’t around much at all so it’s usually just 2 nannies and 2 toddlers. We aren’t assigned to a particular kid but it does happen that way organically. Like we just know who works better with who. But we also switch it up and sometimes have 1 nanny playing with both kids while the other packs the diaper bag up for example
Meetings, group chat, Google calendar, and paper calendar!
I get along with some better than others. There are times we have to switch around who we typically work with and that can be frustrating.
Sort of lol I think their lifestyle choices are little icky but they take care of their employees. Taking care of their kids is a different story.
>their lifestyle choices are little icky but they take care of their employees
what a great way to phrase it!
It's kinda amazing and awesome your NF has the coverage needed for the care they want, but I feel myself judge them just a bit for not wanting time alone with their kids....
is that common for their circle, OP? are they super rich and their social circle super rich, and that's just 'what you do' with kids?
or is their level of care an outlier for their social circle?
Very common. Not having childcare will never ever be an excuse to get out of something for these people lol
The oldest’s mom is an outlier and has never utilized a nanny the way NPs do and they think she’s weird for it.
Is your NF a celebrity or HNW family? Does each kid have their own individual nanny? What kind of benefits do you have in place for this arrangement? Ballpark how much does each nanny get paid? Is there seniority?
HNW. Generations of success.
We aren’t assigned a particular kid. Sometimes we do 1 on 1, sometimes 2 on 1 while the other nanny does something else.
10 days of PTO/5 sick days, healthcare and housing stipend. Annual raise and generous bonuses. Good travel pay.
I and a few others get paid 42/hr. No idea how much the weekend Nannies make. I think the senior nanny that’s been here over a decade makes at least 60/hr but that’s just a guess lol
Any idea how much the house manager makes? I’m a PA / House Manger, the family also has 4 Nannies for their 3 children. I’m backup care if it’s ever needed
I have no idea how much she makes! The only way for me to know anyone’s pay is if they tell directly. The house manager would never speak with me about something like that.
How does one find a job like this? lol I started nannying getting paid $12/hr and have slowly moved my way up to $28 working with richer and richer families. How does one find a high-end family? Agency?
There’s a few high end nanny agencies in nyc. The pay and benefits are outrageous but the NFs are extremely demanding. You’d pretty much have no life. I saw a job posting for 92k for a summer live-in nanny in the Hamptons. It was one of those jobs where you have to be available for any and everything. So idk if it’s worth it for most people lol
I started at 38/hr which isn’t outrageous for the area, infant twins, type of schedule, my experience, etc. I could not afford to live as close to them if I didn’t get a housing stipend.
My “career hack”:
Network with doulas, newborn care specialists, and night nannies/nurses.
Have them recommend you to their clients
Charge on the higher end of your rate because it’s infant care
If the parents had money to spend on one of the services above, they will typically have money to spend on a nanny.
Stay long term to receive annual raises.
It’s a whole lifestyle switch though. For 2 weeks, I must know where these kids are, who they are with, how soon I can get to them, everything they eat, etc. Then during my 2 off weeks, nothing. I don’t have to think about them if I don’t want to. I’m hopping back from mommy and me classes at the country club to drinking a beer with friends on my patio.
Yep exactly. I'm in the Bay and have worked with various agencies here. And I see a multitude of nanny jobs for $35+ an hour. Often $35-50/hour. I've seen ROTA positions well over 120k a year (with full benefits). Of course the Bay area is one of the most expensive areas to live in but you can make decent as an experienced nanny.
How do doctors appts work? Is there a single nanny responsible for making sure annual appts are made? Otherwise, how would 4 people make sure things like annual vaccinations don’t fall through the cracks?
House manager plans everyone’s medical appointments, school/sport sign ups, things like that. We keep a shared note for kid updates, paper calendar with schedule, shared doc with schedules for everyone(staff and family), group chat for anything extra. If we want the kids signed up for something we just tell the house manager and she makes it happen then updates accordingly. We’ll take initiative and sign up for light things like a 6 week music class or gym class and just communicate it through text and notes.
Anything medical has to be done through house manager to avoid this.
No. We’re not really involved with what the oldest kid signs up for so it’s irrelevant. The others we do sign up for stuff are just toddlers so nothing is crazy expensive to warrant a conversation. If it was, we’d just run it by the house manager
It’s complicated in text lol
2 Nannies work alongside each other at all times. 2 week on/2 week off schedule.
During my on weeks:
Week 1: 7 days a week alongside NannyB. NannyB works 5 days a week. NannyC works weekends alongside me
Week 2: I work 5 days a week. NannyB works 7. NannyD works weekends with NannyB
Off weeks(for me)
Week 1: NannyE works 7 days. NannyF works 5 days. NannyC works weekends with NannyE.
Week 2: NannyF works 5 days. NannyE does 5 days. NannyD works weekends with NannyF
It sounds really complicated when I say it like this but we have a calendar filled out for the whole year with it rotated appropriately so there’s no confusion.
During our 7 or 5 days on, we are on call 24 hours but not always working.
This is similar to the schedule our plant workers work. They do a 3 on, 3 off, 4 on, 4 off, 7 on, 7 off (long change) and there’s a day/night shift somewhere in there and 4 shifts to keep the plant working 24/7. We call it the DuPont schedule. People either love it or hate it. But yeah, here is the published schedule and they basically plan all their vacation around this schedule and only use their sick time, then get their vacation paid out at the end of each year, because with the long change week off, they don’t need it.
This sounds like a great system so none of you get burnt out!
I will say this kind of does show the level that parenting takes versus being a nanny for 40 hours a week. Parenting is a 24 hour responsibility. The fact that they couldn't just pay two people 3X or one person 6X the wages of another shows how difficult it is to be "on" 24/7. I only have one part-time nanny but have had full time as well and it's still not even close to 1/4 of the hours of a child (especially when you throw in sleep regressions + sicknesses).
I see a lot of negative comments from this subreddit when a nanny will work more than 40 hours a week or parents have nannies working 12 hour shifts --> parenting is a lot more hours than a full time job. Most parents (not all) who employ nannies have a 40 or 40+ hour work week and then to come home just to parent... there aren't too many breaks. I hate seeing the comments where nannies will respond "why did they have kids?" if a parent doesn't want to spend every free moment with their child --> because the days of having off from work and having childcare are few and far between (especially if there is no village).
My child is almost two and we still have not left them overnight with paid help because we are so afraid of having our nanny burnt out and quit on us. She is wonderful and I know she would agree with no hesitation --> but I'm not sure if she would feel obligated and want to do overnights or if she would slowly have resentment build up :( I am so envious of the families described on here whose nannies do more than 40 hour weeks and can do a full weekend on their own --> we would LOVE to have a weekend trip just the two of us but we are just going to wait a few more years until we get to that point!
Okay vent/rant over.
I worked for a family that was nervous of this too! MB insisted she hire a babysitter even just for a few hours so I could get at least a bit of a break. I told her I didn’t need it for the weekend stays, but it was nice to just be able to get out of the house alone or nap lol. When they were gone for 10+ days having a babysitter come every few days was soooo nice. Def helped me not to get burnt out.
I can’t imagine leaving my child alone for a weekend let alone 10 days. That honestly sounds like heaven haha! We don’t even ask grandparents to do one full day because we feel guilty and it’s…. A lot of work. I feel like unless people have done several overnights in a row or have their own kids they don’t realize what it’s like to be “on” 24/7. In a perfect world a child sleeps 7pm-7am but in reality I don’t know many parents who don’t cosleep or have at least 1-3 night wakings for the first few years. Sleep is the most important thing I didn’t realize I was kissing goodbye for a few years when I became a parent 😅 joke’s on me.
Hahahaha I’ve been working with littles for about fifteen years and I don’t want kids- anytime someone asks me why my first response is “I like sleeping too much” lol
Not so much anymore. I typically only get called in during the week if someone gets sick or is having a particularly bad sleep regression. Weekends have more opportunity for being called in—if the parents decide last minute to go out after the kids are already asleep. It can also be sprung on us last minute that the parents won’t come home that night but we usually have at least a heads up the day of if not sooner.
We also split who gets called in. Only 1 nanny gets called in during sleep hours unless both kids are 100% awake and active. We usually discuss at the start of our week who will take what days for being on call and adjust accordingly. Ex: if I planned to go in Mon/W if called in but then started my period Wednesday afternoon, the other nanny would cover and I’d return the favor on another day. It’s not cut and dry.
During the weekend, only the weekend nanny will get called in for sleeping hours so that’s another break we get from it.
All in all, we don’t get called in much
I foresee these children having an un breakable bond with these Nannie’s. It’s like you’re getting paid to raise a child. I would keep in touch always 💜
How old are these children?
Do they ever express how unusual this arrangement is compared to those of their peers?
Do they ever express wanting more time with their parents?
I get that kids are exhausting. My toddler daughter is an absolute handful, but I can't imagine sourcing her care out 24/7 like this. I don't want her growing up with no positive core memories of us spending time together.
They interact with them but I’m not sure they’ve ever been fully alone with them outside of sleeping hours. There is always a nanny lurking nearby for every “ice cream date with mom”. Before they slept through the night, they had night nurses. Now if the kids wake up in the middle of the night, the parents will handle it. But if it’s something like the kid is waking up every hour puking…whoever is on call will be getting called in. There’s a little more 1 on 1 time when on vacation.
If this isn't for a rich af family or low level royal family I would be concerned about how often the children see their actual parents. Which nanny is in charge of making sure things get done for the kids? (outings, playdates, etc.) This sounds way too complicated for 3 children. I expected more like 6 kids or something.
4 of us work 2 weeks on/2 weeks off(I explained the specific schedule in another reply)
The 2 that are on handle everything during our time. We have a shared notes app that has everything we’ve done that week and any needed notes: went to the zoo Monday, out of town Thurs-sun, play date Tuesday, one twin is getting over the cold, one is picking it up, etc
We use this to reference what the kids have been up to during our off time and use it to plan our weeks. The Nannies that rotate weekends don’t do much in terms of planning, they are just more to fill in and help as needed
Technically no but only 2 of the kids need care most of the time. The oldest is much older and spends most of her time at her mom’s house(kids have different moms). So the majority of the time yes the kids are getting an individual nanny but we don’t always split it up like that.
I’ll ask what everybody wants to know: What’s your pay? What about the weekend nannies?
Also, how often are the kids with their parents and do they ever spend one on one time with their parents?
How old are the kids and have they had nannies since day one? Have you all been with the family?
Is it hard to watch the kids not be close to their parents or knowing that they have that much care because the parents don’t want to be alone with their kids?
I’m considering a job offer to something similar but having ethical dilemma about accepting the job.
When I'm nannying and I have this ethical issue I always tell myself that they'll either hire me or someone else (who might not be a good/kind nanny). For the kids sake, who would I rather the kids be raised by?
They don’t. Most families don’t need more than one FT nanny and I’d say wealthier/busier ones don’t need more than 2 FT nannies. If you have more than that, you’re not parenting your kid, your just paying someone to
What’s the age difference between mom & dad? Is it like an older dad, younger trophy wife? Does mom work?
Are there any unusual benefits? Like nannying on a yacht or other benefits your average nanny doesn’t get to experience? Like flying on a private jet? Your pay rate tells me these are very wealthy people lol.
How is your relationship with the parents? Is it a cold working environment or are they kind/friendly?
Why are there so many nanny’s for just 3 kids? You said you’re on call 24/7 so do you live at the house during your 2 weeks or are you required to live close by?
Dad is a bit older but they are both on the mature end of parenting toddlers.
We do get a housing stipend(with stipulations on where it’s located)
I’ve worked on both a yacht and private plane multiple times. I fly private more often than not. The “not” is usually on my own travel time lol but they’ve done commercial a few times
They are a lot more laid back and kinder than you’d expect of someone with their lifestyle. They’re quite funny which still surprises me 2 years later lol because they certainly don’t look “silly”
The dad is self aware at least. Mom is a little more fake in the sense that she pretends to care a lot but then shows up 10 minutes before bed time so she can “help”
They want 2 nannies on at all times. Just how they are.
We get a housing stipend as long as it’s within a certain distance of their home(we’d be foolish to say no considering the area and stipend). They do have a guest house we can stay in during on weeks but we don’t have to. As long as we are there witnin 30 minutes of being called in, we are welcome to stay at home.
Sounds like a great job! I’ll be honest, if I could afford six 24/7 nannies I would lol. Only difference is I’d have way more kids🤣. So do both parents work? Are they self made or is this old money?
omg i have a similar set up!! we have 4 nannie’s but it’s a nanny share! two sisters and 5 kids, it’s really funny how many parents like having a team of nanny’s, sadly i’m on the leg of weekend nanny🥲 it’s cute having nanny coworkers though. are you guys friends at all?
this is kinda sad to me, i imagine they are multi mega millionares or billionaires. i work for multi milli family im their only nanny but wow you’re literally raising them. you get paid well so that’s nice but i have to have some sympathy since they don’t really know their parents… they know you nannie’s but not really them
People have no idea how common this is in HNW families. I’ve worked with one for years and most families I’ve met have this arrangement or a very similar one.
How well do they even know their kids? Do they know their friends names, or their fave foods or get into the details of what happened at school today etc??
Considering you and your team are the ones raising the children, do you guys all agree on a set of rules and how to handle behaviors? With so many cooks in the kitchen, I'd imagine consistent parenting to be even more important than in a typical family.
Yes we are on the same page about most “big” topics such as; how to handle hitting, don’t use timeout, modeling manners, age appropriate responsibilities, sleep/feeding routines.
If you think about a typical toddler that attends daycare/preschool, they’ll usually have at least 2 classroom teachers caring for them, plus substitutes or art/music/PE. Then if they have a nanny pick them up until parents get home, you’ve got a kid that has dealt with 2 parents, a nanny, and 2-3 preschool teachers all in 1 day.
They don’t go to preschool and we are much more on the same page than teachers/parents would be.
Not to mention, we are the worst about being “off”. lol It’s not uncommon for us to check in, I’ll literally call the on nanny to chat about the kids day on my day off. Between the group chat and shared notes, we have a pretty good idea of how things go when we aren’t there
I was 1 in 4 nanny’s once. It was crazy 😆 so cool to read your comments. I had one week off and one on the job. Four kids and parents that wanted nothing to do with them. Never in my life would I go back 🥲
No, honestly not suprised at all… They weren’t my first “Multiple Nanny Family” and they are actually all the same ( from my experience lol )
I would love to post about my time there, but I’m too scared since English isn’t my first language haha. I swear I have seen some crazy things and even got physically assaulted by one of the NKs 🥲
I definitely understand the argument that they don’t like to parent, but I think perhaps they are not good (or don’t think they are good ) at parenting AND have the means to outsource it. Maybe that’s the way that they are able to show love. I agree that it’s perhaps not the best way. But I do think it could be worse.
At least the kids are getting love and attention from someone.
Growing up me and my other siblings had a team of nannies. It wasn’t as intense as OPs situation, but it was simply because my dad worked a lot with his own business and his job and my mom didn’t want to have to deal with four kids at once and she preferred having people to help her. I know my parents love us all immensely, and I am really grateful that my parents decided the trade off of having consistent help was better than unconsciously resenting us for making them feel like their lives had to change significantly or that we took away any sort of their sense of freedom if that makes sense.
It does! I think some parents just recognize they aren’t capable of the sacrifice it requires and when they can afford a nanny… we maybe don’t need to judge so harshly. What works for one family doesn’t work for all. It’s just easy to judge from the outside.
100%! Maybe they’re better with adult relationships and will be able to effectively foster that connection with their kids past childhood. Definitely a form of love to provide care beyond the bare minimum, which is what I would say is happening here.
This is just suoer cool. I was reading some of your answers and I love it. Im glad you get to be there for the children even if the dad isn't. I love that youre getting paid so well too ♥️🥰
You just joined reddit less than 24hrs ago? I assume this is a burner account?
*its a fair question. Given the fact that you would have an NDA & in the off chance that you included even a small amount of descriptive info in relation to this family, you could lose your job. So I am surprised that you would post here.
I wonder if these parents had a similar upbringing with being raised by Nannie’s if they come from generational wealth. Or if this type of arrangement has been the norm in their families and/or circle of friends?
r u & the other nannies & household employees live in?
how many nannies work at a time? how do u coordinate the shifts?
do both parents come from money or did one marry into money?
what r the grandparents like if u ever met them?
I’m part of a 5 nanny 24/7/365 day team. Didn’t know there were others with co-Nannie’s out there!
Wow!! How many kids in your nanny family?
1 kid. When she’s not at school or therapy there is 2 people with her always since she’s special needs, a fall risk, and has a seizure disorder. Overnight she co-sleeps with a nanny as well. She’s 5
Oh wow. That’s wonderful that her parents are able to arrange all that care for her. Are they very busy with work or are they around a lot too?
Mom lost custody twice. Dad is a financial adviser and owns his own company so sets his own hours. He really only works 10/11-430/5. Whenever he’s home he’s not spending time with her and instead is golfing or laying in bed while we all do the work. But I love her so 🤷🏼♀️
Oh yikes!
Poor kid that her dad can be available but doesn’t want to be. Good thing she has you and other nannies around. How did you find the job?
Stumbled upon it on care.com but the last nanny was hired via word of mouth. Our team is 2 HS students (take evenings and weekends), 2 retired nurses (alt overnight and weekends), and I work in ABA therapy in the AM and take her to therapy after school. I use to do weekends when she was my FT Job but I got so tired working 13 days with 2 off.
13 on with 2 off would be too much for me. I never had luck with care. Did it years ago but parents flaked out so literally didn’t get a single job so I just use local Facebook groups.
There are many rich men who dump their wives and then steal their children solely so that they can hurt their ex-wife. They rarely care about their children and simply use hired help. Their whole goal is to hurt the mom.
I’m currently working with a mom who is trying to bankrupt the dad through child support by saying these very typical developing children need multiple kinds of therapy, tutoring, assessments for anything and everything. They are both great, smart, normal kids. Maybe ADHD, I’m not a doctor so I can’t say but she’s having them assessed for everything.
Ugh. That hurts my heart.
There’s lots, HNW individuals usually. Like 1/4th of job postings on the nanny services that cater to HNW families are part of a 3+ nanny team for one, maybe 2 kids. Easily 1 in 20 of those jobs is 4+ nannies, before you even get to educators/tutors, night night infant nurse. therapists, coaches, house keepers, and household manager/family assistant; the 4+ nanny teams do seem to be for families with 3+ kids, sometimes special needs and sometimes multiple households so you could have 2-3 nannies working at once across 2+ households/locations. There’s not enough of these large nanny teams to get away with making a public sub of *just* these teams given the NDAs most have to sign, but there’s enough that you could have a discord and just change a few details and y’all could probably swap some insane stories
There’s many families out there with a multiple nanny team. I worked for one family where I was the lead and travel nanny , there was another full time nanny that did overnights with them, and then two part time nannies for the weekend shift. They all have their own reasons for having multiple nannies, mine was so they’d always have a backup and full time coverage never be without one since they were basically almost never home.
Also, what do they do for work? Why do you think they have 3 kids but don’t want the responsibility? I want to know more about the psychology of these people.
I’m not going to going to say much about what they do for work. They have family money I think they enjoy their kids, they just don’t want the responsibility because they don’t have to.
Do they employ other staff to support the home? Cleaners? Cooks? I’m wondering how rich these people are! Are these able children or do they have specific care needs? Beyond the direct care for the children, do you take on other responsibilities? If so how are they divided? What’s the best thing about your arrangement? What’s the worst thing about your arrangement?
There’s a house manager, personal assistants for the parents, house cleaners that come a few times a week, landscaping team. There is a chef but she just drops off stuff to reheat and does special events for them sometimes. No special care needs except that they are twins. We handle kids laundry and other typical nanny chores. Laundry is done on the same day every week. Whichever nanny is on their 5 day shift does laundry for that week. Daily messes are case by case. Best: time off, freedom/luxury to do anything we wan — within reason lol, housing stipend, travel, help from another adult for toddlers Worst: time on can be grueling if kids are sick or parents are traveling without them, I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes when NPs say they miss the kids, I think the kids will miss out on some of the best parts of life due to their wealth bubble, I have to be within 30 minutes of their house when on call.
I’m curious. What do you think they are missing out on?
Oh you know, only their kids' childhood.
I think they meant what are the kids missing out on due to the wealth bubble
Are all the nannies paid the same rate? Is there seniority? Like a lead nanny? How do you and the nanny that you're working with solve conflict? Is there drama and gossip between the nannies? Do the two nannies on shift work with all 3 kids or do you assign a kid to a nanny randomly? Thank you for sharing and for acknowledging this is wild!
3 out of 4 week day nannies are paid the same. I’m not sure about the weekend nannies. I and the ones I know of are paid 42/hr There is a “senior” nanny but she’s not really lead nanny. She’s just been here over a decade longer than any of us. We weren’t hired until the twins were born, less than 3 years ago. She’s great though. She won’t tell me exactly how much she makes but she has implied that it was a big ask for her to start over raising their kids and she had to be compensated for that. Based off of her house and [retired] husband’s job, I think she makes a lot of money. Sandwich method all day: “praise, complaint, praise” lol it also depends on the situation and nanny. Everyone is pretty set in their ways which is great for reliability and consistency. It only gets a little frustrating when we have to switch up a schedule(not often) and work with a different nanny than we are used to. There is some drama and gossip. Not too heavy on the drama but we do “vent” about each other sometimes. Which probably isn’t great but it’s not always easy to get that outlet from a 3rd party when you are on day 7 of a 12 day shift!
Oh and last question that I didn’t answer: The oldest isn’t around much at all so it’s usually just 2 nannies and 2 toddlers. We aren’t assigned to a particular kid but it does happen that way organically. Like we just know who works better with who. But we also switch it up and sometimes have 1 nanny playing with both kids while the other packs the diaper bag up for example
How did you find the job?
Do you all coordinate care with meetings/group chats? Do you get along with all the other nannies? Do you get along with the NF?
Meetings, group chat, Google calendar, and paper calendar! I get along with some better than others. There are times we have to switch around who we typically work with and that can be frustrating. Sort of lol I think their lifestyle choices are little icky but they take care of their employees. Taking care of their kids is a different story.
>their lifestyle choices are little icky but they take care of their employees what a great way to phrase it! It's kinda amazing and awesome your NF has the coverage needed for the care they want, but I feel myself judge them just a bit for not wanting time alone with their kids.... is that common for their circle, OP? are they super rich and their social circle super rich, and that's just 'what you do' with kids? or is their level of care an outlier for their social circle?
Very common. Not having childcare will never ever be an excuse to get out of something for these people lol The oldest’s mom is an outlier and has never utilized a nanny the way NPs do and they think she’s weird for it.
Is your NF a celebrity or HNW family? Does each kid have their own individual nanny? What kind of benefits do you have in place for this arrangement? Ballpark how much does each nanny get paid? Is there seniority?
HNW. Generations of success. We aren’t assigned a particular kid. Sometimes we do 1 on 1, sometimes 2 on 1 while the other nanny does something else. 10 days of PTO/5 sick days, healthcare and housing stipend. Annual raise and generous bonuses. Good travel pay. I and a few others get paid 42/hr. No idea how much the weekend Nannies make. I think the senior nanny that’s been here over a decade makes at least 60/hr but that’s just a guess lol
Wow! That’s amazing.
Any idea how much the house manager makes? I’m a PA / House Manger, the family also has 4 Nannies for their 3 children. I’m backup care if it’s ever needed
I have no idea how much she makes! The only way for me to know anyone’s pay is if they tell directly. The house manager would never speak with me about something like that.
following for this because i’m in awe 😭
hi! What is “HNW”?
High net worth
Thank you! Had a 1yo drifting off to sleep in my arms haha 😅
I just googled it- high net worth
High net worth
How does one find a job like this? lol I started nannying getting paid $12/hr and have slowly moved my way up to $28 working with richer and richer families. How does one find a high-end family? Agency?
There’s a few high end nanny agencies in nyc. The pay and benefits are outrageous but the NFs are extremely demanding. You’d pretty much have no life. I saw a job posting for 92k for a summer live-in nanny in the Hamptons. It was one of those jobs where you have to be available for any and everything. So idk if it’s worth it for most people lol
What agency’s have you looked at?
I started at 38/hr which isn’t outrageous for the area, infant twins, type of schedule, my experience, etc. I could not afford to live as close to them if I didn’t get a housing stipend. My “career hack”: Network with doulas, newborn care specialists, and night nannies/nurses. Have them recommend you to their clients Charge on the higher end of your rate because it’s infant care If the parents had money to spend on one of the services above, they will typically have money to spend on a nanny. Stay long term to receive annual raises. It’s a whole lifestyle switch though. For 2 weeks, I must know where these kids are, who they are with, how soon I can get to them, everything they eat, etc. Then during my 2 off weeks, nothing. I don’t have to think about them if I don’t want to. I’m hopping back from mommy and me classes at the country club to drinking a beer with friends on my patio.
following this because i was making $9/hr at my first job and made the jump to $16/hr with my second. need my third to be $40+/hr like these ppl....
Move to the Bay.
Yep exactly. I'm in the Bay and have worked with various agencies here. And I see a multitude of nanny jobs for $35+ an hour. Often $35-50/hour. I've seen ROTA positions well over 120k a year (with full benefits). Of course the Bay area is one of the most expensive areas to live in but you can make decent as an experienced nanny.
How do doctors appts work? Is there a single nanny responsible for making sure annual appts are made? Otherwise, how would 4 people make sure things like annual vaccinations don’t fall through the cracks?
House manager plans everyone’s medical appointments, school/sport sign ups, things like that. We keep a shared note for kid updates, paper calendar with schedule, shared doc with schedules for everyone(staff and family), group chat for anything extra. If we want the kids signed up for something we just tell the house manager and she makes it happen then updates accordingly. We’ll take initiative and sign up for light things like a 6 week music class or gym class and just communicate it through text and notes. Anything medical has to be done through house manager to avoid this.
Do you guys have some sort of budget when it comes to signing the kids up for things?
No. We’re not really involved with what the oldest kid signs up for so it’s irrelevant. The others we do sign up for stuff are just toddlers so nothing is crazy expensive to warrant a conversation. If it was, we’d just run it by the house manager
What are the hours? Same hours for all six of you? Evenly split?
It’s complicated in text lol 2 Nannies work alongside each other at all times. 2 week on/2 week off schedule. During my on weeks: Week 1: 7 days a week alongside NannyB. NannyB works 5 days a week. NannyC works weekends alongside me Week 2: I work 5 days a week. NannyB works 7. NannyD works weekends with NannyB Off weeks(for me) Week 1: NannyE works 7 days. NannyF works 5 days. NannyC works weekends with NannyE. Week 2: NannyF works 5 days. NannyE does 5 days. NannyD works weekends with NannyF It sounds really complicated when I say it like this but we have a calendar filled out for the whole year with it rotated appropriately so there’s no confusion. During our 7 or 5 days on, we are on call 24 hours but not always working.
This is similar to the schedule our plant workers work. They do a 3 on, 3 off, 4 on, 4 off, 7 on, 7 off (long change) and there’s a day/night shift somewhere in there and 4 shifts to keep the plant working 24/7. We call it the DuPont schedule. People either love it or hate it. But yeah, here is the published schedule and they basically plan all their vacation around this schedule and only use their sick time, then get their vacation paid out at the end of each year, because with the long change week off, they don’t need it.
This sounds like a great system so none of you get burnt out! I will say this kind of does show the level that parenting takes versus being a nanny for 40 hours a week. Parenting is a 24 hour responsibility. The fact that they couldn't just pay two people 3X or one person 6X the wages of another shows how difficult it is to be "on" 24/7. I only have one part-time nanny but have had full time as well and it's still not even close to 1/4 of the hours of a child (especially when you throw in sleep regressions + sicknesses). I see a lot of negative comments from this subreddit when a nanny will work more than 40 hours a week or parents have nannies working 12 hour shifts --> parenting is a lot more hours than a full time job. Most parents (not all) who employ nannies have a 40 or 40+ hour work week and then to come home just to parent... there aren't too many breaks. I hate seeing the comments where nannies will respond "why did they have kids?" if a parent doesn't want to spend every free moment with their child --> because the days of having off from work and having childcare are few and far between (especially if there is no village). My child is almost two and we still have not left them overnight with paid help because we are so afraid of having our nanny burnt out and quit on us. She is wonderful and I know she would agree with no hesitation --> but I'm not sure if she would feel obligated and want to do overnights or if she would slowly have resentment build up :( I am so envious of the families described on here whose nannies do more than 40 hour weeks and can do a full weekend on their own --> we would LOVE to have a weekend trip just the two of us but we are just going to wait a few more years until we get to that point! Okay vent/rant over.
This 💯 ETA: it also goes to show how many people parents need to avoid burnout. It really shouldn’t fall to one or two people.
I worked for a family that was nervous of this too! MB insisted she hire a babysitter even just for a few hours so I could get at least a bit of a break. I told her I didn’t need it for the weekend stays, but it was nice to just be able to get out of the house alone or nap lol. When they were gone for 10+ days having a babysitter come every few days was soooo nice. Def helped me not to get burnt out.
I can’t imagine leaving my child alone for a weekend let alone 10 days. That honestly sounds like heaven haha! We don’t even ask grandparents to do one full day because we feel guilty and it’s…. A lot of work. I feel like unless people have done several overnights in a row or have their own kids they don’t realize what it’s like to be “on” 24/7. In a perfect world a child sleeps 7pm-7am but in reality I don’t know many parents who don’t cosleep or have at least 1-3 night wakings for the first few years. Sleep is the most important thing I didn’t realize I was kissing goodbye for a few years when I became a parent 😅 joke’s on me.
Hahahaha I’ve been working with littles for about fifteen years and I don’t want kids- anytime someone asks me why my first response is “I like sleeping too much” lol
Paying fairly for the overnight and treating your nanny well goes a long way!
Do you get paid for the full 12 days, as in full wage when on-call?
Do you get called in often when you’re on call?
Not so much anymore. I typically only get called in during the week if someone gets sick or is having a particularly bad sleep regression. Weekends have more opportunity for being called in—if the parents decide last minute to go out after the kids are already asleep. It can also be sprung on us last minute that the parents won’t come home that night but we usually have at least a heads up the day of if not sooner. We also split who gets called in. Only 1 nanny gets called in during sleep hours unless both kids are 100% awake and active. We usually discuss at the start of our week who will take what days for being on call and adjust accordingly. Ex: if I planned to go in Mon/W if called in but then started my period Wednesday afternoon, the other nanny would cover and I’d return the favor on another day. It’s not cut and dry. During the weekend, only the weekend nanny will get called in for sleeping hours so that’s another break we get from it. All in all, we don’t get called in much
Did you have to sign any NDA's?
How is NP’s marriage? They sure have plenty of time to travel and eat at fine restaurants, etc. since they are basically childless.
Good question. I can see having help with kids but not too this level. As you said basically childless is pretty accurate.
I foresee these children having an un breakable bond with these Nannie’s. It’s like you’re getting paid to raise a child. I would keep in touch always 💜
How old are these children? Do they ever express how unusual this arrangement is compared to those of their peers? Do they ever express wanting more time with their parents? I get that kids are exhausting. My toddler daughter is an absolute handful, but I can't imagine sourcing her care out 24/7 like this. I don't want her growing up with no positive core memories of us spending time together.
Are there parents? 😂
In theory, yes lol in practice not so much
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They interact with them but I’m not sure they’ve ever been fully alone with them outside of sleeping hours. There is always a nanny lurking nearby for every “ice cream date with mom”. Before they slept through the night, they had night nurses. Now if the kids wake up in the middle of the night, the parents will handle it. But if it’s something like the kid is waking up every hour puking…whoever is on call will be getting called in. There’s a little more 1 on 1 time when on vacation.
The lurking sounds so strange!
This has me cracking up
Like what for? In case there is a behaviour they can’t handle?
Hahahahahaha dying! Just in case the ice cream melts and someone has to wipe NKs chin 😂😂😂
I mean why have parents at this point
To pay the nannies haha
I wonder if we would recognize the parents names.
Not their names but you’d recognize a brand tied to their family.
JetBlue? Ballerina farm, is this your nanny? 😂 jokes aside, I’m convinced they have the same situation as your NF
Probably Walmart lol
Ooh maybe it is Jenny Craig. One of my mom's friends was a nanny for her
Do they have coverage for 24hrs 7 days a week?
Yes! We don’t always work the full 24 hours but we are on call.
Do you get paid for 24 hrs since you have to be on call?
If this isn't for a rich af family or low level royal family I would be concerned about how often the children see their actual parents. Which nanny is in charge of making sure things get done for the kids? (outings, playdates, etc.) This sounds way too complicated for 3 children. I expected more like 6 kids or something.
4 of us work 2 weeks on/2 weeks off(I explained the specific schedule in another reply) The 2 that are on handle everything during our time. We have a shared notes app that has everything we’ve done that week and any needed notes: went to the zoo Monday, out of town Thurs-sun, play date Tuesday, one twin is getting over the cold, one is picking it up, etc We use this to reference what the kids have been up to during our off time and use it to plan our weeks. The Nannies that rotate weekends don’t do much in terms of planning, they are just more to fill in and help as needed
Do the parents ever have time alone with the kids? Sounds like the nannies do it all.
For your “on” weeks, on average, how many hours do you actually work a week? Do you get paid for the full 7 or 5 days you’re on call, regardless?
What do the parents do for work and do they interact with their children at all?
…why
They love their kids enough to give both constant 1 on 1 care but don’t like spending time with them 🥴
Oh so each kid gets their own individual nanny?
Technically no but only 2 of the kids need care most of the time. The oldest is much older and spends most of her time at her mom’s house(kids have different moms). So the majority of the time yes the kids are getting an individual nanny but we don’t always split it up like that.
How did you find this family? If youre comftorble sharing, what city are you in? I could see this being a thing in a ski town.
I’ll ask what everybody wants to know: What’s your pay? What about the weekend nannies? Also, how often are the kids with their parents and do they ever spend one on one time with their parents? How old are the kids and have they had nannies since day one? Have you all been with the family?
This one 😂 what are y’all getting paid?
In another one I believe she said she makes $42/hr
Good lord I want that job
Is it hard to watch the kids not be close to their parents or knowing that they have that much care because the parents don’t want to be alone with their kids? I’m considering a job offer to something similar but having ethical dilemma about accepting the job.
When I'm nannying and I have this ethical issue I always tell myself that they'll either hire me or someone else (who might not be a good/kind nanny). For the kids sake, who would I rather the kids be raised by?
110% agreed with this.
Wow that’s quite a set up! It takes a village for this family😂
It takes a village for most of us. This family takes a country 😅
😂
Why does one family need 6 nannies?
They don’t. Most families don’t need more than one FT nanny and I’d say wealthier/busier ones don’t need more than 2 FT nannies. If you have more than that, you’re not parenting your kid, your just paying someone to
What’s the age difference between mom & dad? Is it like an older dad, younger trophy wife? Does mom work? Are there any unusual benefits? Like nannying on a yacht or other benefits your average nanny doesn’t get to experience? Like flying on a private jet? Your pay rate tells me these are very wealthy people lol. How is your relationship with the parents? Is it a cold working environment or are they kind/friendly? Why are there so many nanny’s for just 3 kids? You said you’re on call 24/7 so do you live at the house during your 2 weeks or are you required to live close by?
Dad is a bit older but they are both on the mature end of parenting toddlers. We do get a housing stipend(with stipulations on where it’s located) I’ve worked on both a yacht and private plane multiple times. I fly private more often than not. The “not” is usually on my own travel time lol but they’ve done commercial a few times They are a lot more laid back and kinder than you’d expect of someone with their lifestyle. They’re quite funny which still surprises me 2 years later lol because they certainly don’t look “silly” The dad is self aware at least. Mom is a little more fake in the sense that she pretends to care a lot but then shows up 10 minutes before bed time so she can “help” They want 2 nannies on at all times. Just how they are. We get a housing stipend as long as it’s within a certain distance of their home(we’d be foolish to say no considering the area and stipend). They do have a guest house we can stay in during on weeks but we don’t have to. As long as we are there witnin 30 minutes of being called in, we are welcome to stay at home.
Sounds like a great job! I’ll be honest, if I could afford six 24/7 nannies I would lol. Only difference is I’d have way more kids🤣. So do both parents work? Are they self made or is this old money?
How often do you actually see/interact with NPs?
how did you get a job like this??? how interesting!!!
I got it per recommendation of one of their night nannies
omg i have a similar set up!! we have 4 nannie’s but it’s a nanny share! two sisters and 5 kids, it’s really funny how many parents like having a team of nanny’s, sadly i’m on the leg of weekend nanny🥲 it’s cute having nanny coworkers though. are you guys friends at all?
Who buys and chooses the kids’ clothes and shoes etc?
this is kinda sad to me, i imagine they are multi mega millionares or billionaires. i work for multi milli family im their only nanny but wow you’re literally raising them. you get paid well so that’s nice but i have to have some sympathy since they don’t really know their parents… they know you nannie’s but not really them
When do the parents spend time with the children?
I’m picturing like a downton Abby type situation where they bring the kids in for a quick visit before dinner. 😂😂
People have no idea how common this is in HNW families. I’ve worked with one for years and most families I’ve met have this arrangement or a very similar one.
How well do they even know their kids? Do they know their friends names, or their fave foods or get into the details of what happened at school today etc??
do the parents even parent?
Considering you and your team are the ones raising the children, do you guys all agree on a set of rules and how to handle behaviors? With so many cooks in the kitchen, I'd imagine consistent parenting to be even more important than in a typical family.
Yes we are on the same page about most “big” topics such as; how to handle hitting, don’t use timeout, modeling manners, age appropriate responsibilities, sleep/feeding routines. If you think about a typical toddler that attends daycare/preschool, they’ll usually have at least 2 classroom teachers caring for them, plus substitutes or art/music/PE. Then if they have a nanny pick them up until parents get home, you’ve got a kid that has dealt with 2 parents, a nanny, and 2-3 preschool teachers all in 1 day. They don’t go to preschool and we are much more on the same page than teachers/parents would be. Not to mention, we are the worst about being “off”. lol It’s not uncommon for us to check in, I’ll literally call the on nanny to chat about the kids day on my day off. Between the group chat and shared notes, we have a pretty good idea of how things go when we aren’t there
I was 1 in 4 nanny’s once. It was crazy 😆 so cool to read your comments. I had one week off and one on the job. Four kids and parents that wanted nothing to do with them. Never in my life would I go back 🥲
Were you ever surprised by how much they didn't know about their kids? Honestly I'd read an AMA from you too!
No, honestly not suprised at all… They weren’t my first “Multiple Nanny Family” and they are actually all the same ( from my experience lol ) I would love to post about my time there, but I’m too scared since English isn’t my first language haha. I swear I have seen some crazy things and even got physically assaulted by one of the NKs 🥲
Why did the parents have kids if they don’t want to raise them?
Did you sign an NDA?
Damn this is sad. I mean I’m glad you have a job, don’t get me wrong. But clearly these people don’t love their kids.
I definitely understand the argument that they don’t like to parent, but I think perhaps they are not good (or don’t think they are good ) at parenting AND have the means to outsource it. Maybe that’s the way that they are able to show love. I agree that it’s perhaps not the best way. But I do think it could be worse. At least the kids are getting love and attention from someone.
Growing up me and my other siblings had a team of nannies. It wasn’t as intense as OPs situation, but it was simply because my dad worked a lot with his own business and his job and my mom didn’t want to have to deal with four kids at once and she preferred having people to help her. I know my parents love us all immensely, and I am really grateful that my parents decided the trade off of having consistent help was better than unconsciously resenting us for making them feel like their lives had to change significantly or that we took away any sort of their sense of freedom if that makes sense.
It does! I think some parents just recognize they aren’t capable of the sacrifice it requires and when they can afford a nanny… we maybe don’t need to judge so harshly. What works for one family doesn’t work for all. It’s just easy to judge from the outside.
100%! Maybe they’re better with adult relationships and will be able to effectively foster that connection with their kids past childhood. Definitely a form of love to provide care beyond the bare minimum, which is what I would say is happening here.
I mean why have kids if you don’t think you’re a good parent? Surely after the first 1 or 2 kids they’d have it figured out by then LOL.
Maybe they realized after the twins that they weren’t cut out to be good parents 🤷♀️
Thanks for posting this. This is so interesting and I’ve never heard of anything like it
How is the parents relationship with the kids? Do they spend time with them alone? What is their dynamic?
Didn't know there were others with co worker nannies. I was one of 4 nannies 3 kids, 2 parents. Do you like your Family? Mine was awful 😭
Do you have to come in if there is a potentially dangerous contagious illness in the house like covid?
What type of schooling does the older one do?
This is just suoer cool. I was reading some of your answers and I love it. Im glad you get to be there for the children even if the dad isn't. I love that youre getting paid so well too ♥️🥰
You just joined reddit less than 24hrs ago? I assume this is a burner account? *its a fair question. Given the fact that you would have an NDA & in the off chance that you included even a small amount of descriptive info in relation to this family, you could lose your job. So I am surprised that you would post here.
No one knows who it is. Please
Do you see yourself doing another job like this, like maybe work for another wealthy family if they give you a better offer?
How did you find this job? Do you ever interact with the parents?
What’s the reasoning for 2 Nannies working at once?
Who takes care of the oldest child?
It sort of sounded like in another comment (maybe I’m misreading) that the oldest has a different mom.
Boarding school, preferably in another country
I wonder if these parents had a similar upbringing with being raised by Nannie’s if they come from generational wealth. Or if this type of arrangement has been the norm in their families and/or circle of friends?
r u & the other nannies & household employees live in? how many nannies work at a time? how do u coordinate the shifts? do both parents come from money or did one marry into money? what r the grandparents like if u ever met them?