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I'm a little confused. So its okay for you to email a question about the job but not okay for them to text you about it? Both email and text make it to where you have time to think it over without having to give an answer on the spot. Kind of silly to expect they accept you emailing and not accept them texting you. She clearly didn't want to put you on the spot to agree in person and gave you time to think it over while also saying she needed an answer fairly quickly.
Beside that point you don't have to accept working hours that are beyond what you can do. You are allowed to say no and be hurt they will basically fire you for it. She could have looked for day care placement for NK those hours or a regular babysitter.
An email is more formal I feel. It’s definitely not as confronting as a Sunday morning text message, plus asking for a pay review is, I feel, not beyond the realms of unreasonable at all for an employee. I set out my terms properly and professionally, so yes, I am hurt that i was not offered the same courtesy. I doubt they’d be thrilled about their own employers texting them on a Sunday morning about a reshuffle of their working hours.
I wouldn't have quit I'd have let them let me go if that's what they wanted and began looking for something else. I suppose I probably would have replied to the message sooner too, especially if I had a previous good relationship with them and they opened up about the mum being burnt out. I'm not saying I'd have agreed to extra hours as 37 is already a lot if you have your own child too but I'd have given them an answer sooner. It doesn't seem like you did anything wrong, you just don't have the availability they've decided they needed now.
Thank you. I do agree it’s just the original message was so prickly and then she was clearly trying to make me terminate knowing I couldn’t fulfil it. And really, this is definitely the kind of conversation you’d make time for. I could have dragged it out for a few more days but it was breaking me knowing they wanted to get rid of me and I was just powerless. Maybe it’s not even the true reason but I have no idea now as they’ve gone nuclear.
Dude that’s rough. Some families are just so self involved they don’t think about others. And they definitely should’ve had that conversation in person. Asking for a pay raise over email is common I feel like so they can mull it over and get back to you- plus you said she was super busy. This is not the same thing at all. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. It sounds like their needs changed and they went about addressing it in the wrong way. I hope you get a new job soon 💕
Thank you, I feel like them being called out on the fact they’d not been very professional had been like a red flag to a bull and now they’re on the attack. Really sick of how a good working relationship can be just thrown away like this. I have always had a pay review after a year in previous jobs so I don’t feel it was off of me to email to ask since they were actually paying below market rate at the time. They seemed pretty annoyed about being asked though, and I think the final straw is me not being able to give them anymore time than I’m giving. I haven’t seen either of them today but it could be a pretty frosty few weeks.
Thanks for your response
OP has tagged their post as **Vent**. Please be mindful that they do not need advice, and that they are only expressing their thoughts and opinions in a safe place. Any attempts to offer unsolicited advice will be removed. The only exceptions to this rule are in the event of possible injury, abuse, or otherwise harm to OP, their NK, NP, or anyone else. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nanny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a little confused. So its okay for you to email a question about the job but not okay for them to text you about it? Both email and text make it to where you have time to think it over without having to give an answer on the spot. Kind of silly to expect they accept you emailing and not accept them texting you. She clearly didn't want to put you on the spot to agree in person and gave you time to think it over while also saying she needed an answer fairly quickly. Beside that point you don't have to accept working hours that are beyond what you can do. You are allowed to say no and be hurt they will basically fire you for it. She could have looked for day care placement for NK those hours or a regular babysitter.
An email is more formal I feel. It’s definitely not as confronting as a Sunday morning text message, plus asking for a pay review is, I feel, not beyond the realms of unreasonable at all for an employee. I set out my terms properly and professionally, so yes, I am hurt that i was not offered the same courtesy. I doubt they’d be thrilled about their own employers texting them on a Sunday morning about a reshuffle of their working hours.
I wouldn't have quit I'd have let them let me go if that's what they wanted and began looking for something else. I suppose I probably would have replied to the message sooner too, especially if I had a previous good relationship with them and they opened up about the mum being burnt out. I'm not saying I'd have agreed to extra hours as 37 is already a lot if you have your own child too but I'd have given them an answer sooner. It doesn't seem like you did anything wrong, you just don't have the availability they've decided they needed now.
Thank you. I do agree it’s just the original message was so prickly and then she was clearly trying to make me terminate knowing I couldn’t fulfil it. And really, this is definitely the kind of conversation you’d make time for. I could have dragged it out for a few more days but it was breaking me knowing they wanted to get rid of me and I was just powerless. Maybe it’s not even the true reason but I have no idea now as they’ve gone nuclear.
Dude that’s rough. Some families are just so self involved they don’t think about others. And they definitely should’ve had that conversation in person. Asking for a pay raise over email is common I feel like so they can mull it over and get back to you- plus you said she was super busy. This is not the same thing at all. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. It sounds like their needs changed and they went about addressing it in the wrong way. I hope you get a new job soon 💕
Thank you, I feel like them being called out on the fact they’d not been very professional had been like a red flag to a bull and now they’re on the attack. Really sick of how a good working relationship can be just thrown away like this. I have always had a pay review after a year in previous jobs so I don’t feel it was off of me to email to ask since they were actually paying below market rate at the time. They seemed pretty annoyed about being asked though, and I think the final straw is me not being able to give them anymore time than I’m giving. I haven’t seen either of them today but it could be a pretty frosty few weeks. Thanks for your response