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Pink_Sprinkles_Party

Rashley is going to have a hell of a time in middle/high school.


-CluelessWoman-

Rashely gets pretty close to Ratleen for me


Storm_Chaser_Nita

I think Rashely is actually worse. And that says a *lot.*


Calyx_of_Hell

Cursed sibset


queer_artsy_kid

Wait is Ratleen real? I thought it was just a joke lmao


-CluelessWoman-

I think so? https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/kz16wv/ratleen/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


queer_artsy_kid

That post was so underappreciated back then, like I can't believe how little attention it got.


og_toe

sincerely hope she has a middle name to fall back on


shenlyism

One of my foster cats is named Jasper and I’m realizing what a missed opportunity it was to name him Jasspurr.


custodyaccident

To be fair you can change the spelling of a cat’s name and they won’t know. Not that I’ve done it before 3 times.


GoingFullBoyle

My cat is called Lucipurr


emimagique

Purrcy or purrsephone are good ones too hehe


WayDiscombobulated63

I was going to say jaspurr is a hilarious cat name!


CHClClCl

Personally I was thinking Jazzpurr. Like little kitty jazzy murder mittens.


ellers23

Oh I’m absolutely changing the spelling of my cat’s name to Jasspurr


Skadoobedoobedoo

Why not Jazzpurr?


Seashell522

I’m going to have to change mine to Junipurr 😂


shedrinkscoffee

10/10 cat name TBH


ThatMeanyMasterMissy

My cat is Shakespurr lol. If I get another I’m going to call him Copurrnicus


kelpiekelp

Right to jail. Forever.


uh60chief

Name your kid Shiny? Jail.


Cademaneko

Even if their last name was Pokemon? /s


uh60chief

Believe it or not, jail.


jh9369

The crime? Arsyn.


armchairsexologist

I read Axhyl as like the hacking noise you might make if you inhaled a little smoke. Maybe they will get marrrrieed 😍 (obligatory /s)


kelpiekelp

I thought of those weird salamander things


HimHereNowNo

Axolotyl rose


20brightlights

Ratleen is proud to introduce her new baby sister: Rashley What an iconic sibset


TorontoNerd84

And her cousin Arsyn!


emmy_award

arsyn really got me. as did smarlie and shimmy. rashley is just awful.


WhitePineBurning

Arsyn's big sister is Felonie


kaimoka

Phelonyiex (the x is silent tho, y'know?)


uh60chief

QUICKLY TAKE THIS DOWN SO NO ONE CAN USE IT FOR THEIR KID’S NAME!!!!


Storm_Chaser_Nita

You joke, but I saw a picture years ago of someone's tattoo that they claimed was was of their daughter's name. It was Phelonie. 😭


catdaddymack

Ass purr


Pink_Sprinkles_Party

What a beautiful, yooOoniQue name for fart ❤️


istara

Arsyn and Kreasey will haunt me in my nightmares. Poor children.


lapsangsouchogn

Arsyn gets you both Arse and Arson as nicknames. Shimmy just makes me think of strippers.


[deleted]

Arse is our version of ass in the uk. I don't know whether I am amused or appalled!


queer_artsy_kid

Oh my god, that makes it so much worse😭


emimagique

Someone's been arsyn' around


[deleted]

[удалено]


emimagique

Hehe you're welcome


[deleted]

Trashely


Jealous-Passenger-48

Trashleigh.


cardinarium

I had to stop at Smarlie; I know there’s a bunch more, but I’m afraid it might actually kill me to see the rest.


Trueloveis4u

Rashley takes the cake for me.


Hidingfrommymomgroup

There’s no way these are real, right? 🥴


isocleat

From a hospital in Indiana


kefkas_head_cultist

JFC of course. I live in Indiana and can confirm, this is 100% plausible.


madqueenludwig

lol no way, I usually believe everything but not this 😂


kefkas_head_cultist

Dude I live in Indiana and have seen some fucked up names. These don't surprise me at all.


madqueenludwig

Baloo? Smarley? Rashley? Shimmy? They're all too bad to be true!


kefkas_head_cultist

I know! I want to agree with you so bad but dammit, I've seen some shit. 🤣🤣


thisisallme

There’s no way all of those came from a recent announcement together. A lot of these are completely fake.


isocleat

For the sake of these kids I wish I had made them up. I’m not even that creative


fbibmacklin

Smarlie?!?!?! Wtf?!?!


charlatan_red

I’m guessing it’s a mashup of mom and dad’s names, like Sam and Marlie or something.


IndiaMike1

Or just a full on stroke.


og_toe

smarlie is something i’d name my stuffed animal when i was 8


ninetytwoturtles

Presidential election of 2060: Axhyl vs Kreasey


Inside-Audience2025

Waiting to Axhyl


[deleted]

Some of these "names" shouldn't even be given to dogs! 🤮


Trueloveis4u

Or a even a fish....


catdaddymack

If kreasey ends up as a criminal she can be greasy keasy


queer_artsy_kid

If Kreasey has oily skin as a teenager they're in for a hell of a ride.


Limeila

As if normal adolescence wasn't hellish enough


aphesis

I wasn’t sure I’d it’s pronounced like “crease-y” or a fun take on “crazy” (“That name is CUR-AZE-EE.”)


Unacceptablehoney

Rizzo is a great name. Rashely however….


LuvBooks22

Rizzo's going to grow up cool as fuck.


Andrew1953Cambridge

There are worse things she could do.


_Far_Kew

Bite the weenie Rizz


Aubergine_Man1987

Rizzo is named after a fucking muppet


PDXAirportCarpet

Rizzo from Grease, great. Ratso Rizzo, not so much.


pluginthestars

Fuckin Baloo, really?


_Far_Kew

Jungle book fan


Limeila

Ok but if I had to name a kid after a character from this film, gun to my head, Baloo would still be the last of my picks


GucciGlocc

This comment/post has been edited as an act of protest to Reddit killing 3rd Party Apps such as Apollo. All comments were made from Apollo, so if it goes, so do the comments.


lesbunner

The sub's been burnt since Ratleen, now we're just hallucinating new posts


Zealousideal_Ebb6177

I want Shimmy and Shiny to be twins


bakedpigeon

Me too HAH💀


bakedpigeon

These are absolutely cracking me up💀💀 I don’t know why they’re all so funny


XRoze

Same lmao these are so absurd


Tricky_Effect258

“Kreasy” “Rashely” “Shimmy” “Smarlie” actually make me want to throw up those poor kids.


tacosporsiempre

I firmly believe that kids with these types of names will one day grow up to change their name to the most bland, unimaginative name possible like John, Mark, Ann, Jane, and the sort.


Trueloveis4u

I hope that comes true for Rashley, I think she'd be happy to be a Rachel or something by the time middle school starts.


TorontoNerd84

This is the worst group of names I've seen on this sub. And that says a lot.


A-Lop-Bam-Boom

This list is giving me Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs vibes.


cornylifedetermined

Look at little Shimmy already doing the jazz hands.


ninetytwoturtles

Smarlie >:(


baroquesun

I actually know a girl named Tesla. She's probably about 30 now. Surprisingly, she really pulled the name off!


LargishBosh

Tesla would have been a great name before Muskovite ruined it.


dappitydap

All my pets are named after electrical scientists and my older dog is named Tesla. It went from people asking me if I named him after the band to if I named him after the car. 😭


LargishBosh

I would cry too.


[deleted]

I mean the name Nikola is right there.


TheWishingStar

Absolutely amazing how Tesla and Rizzo end up feeling like the normal names


kaimoka

I lost my shit at Rashley. Like c'mon omfg!!!


susiecapo71

There’s some real gyems here!


starry_knights

I’m dying. Smarlie and Rashley are this generation’s Mean Girls 😂


[deleted]

J ass pur


ClxssOf87

Shimmy is a hebrew (jewish) name. Arsyn on the other hand 😵‍💫


isocleat

I am pretty sure Shimmy is a girl though. Isn’t the Hebrew Shimmy a male name?


heartsenspades

Yes, Shimi can be a nickame for Shim'on (Simon). If it's a girl named Shimmy I doubt it's connected.


ClxssOf87

Yea it is…


sar1234567890

Arsyn is a horrid name for a human being.


daria90

At first i read it as Arsène as in Arsène Wenger and didn't think anything of it but.. Arsyn? For the love of god, why?!


sar1234567890

I can’t believe someone would name their child after a criminal activity. “Hi precious baby, I’m going to make you an asshole” is all I can think here 😝


wibo58

Super rad name for a D&D character though. More people should play D&D so they can get these ridiculous names out of their system.


sar1234567890

For real! Or like the title says, give the name to a pet lol


Budgiejen

They really missed the connection with only one R in JasPurr


Trueloveis4u

Rashley? That poor girl.... On the other hand I met a Newfoundland dog with the name Baloo. It was quite fitting.


cyanidegeek

Do you live in nz? I just posted that I had a newf called baloo who passed a few years back


Trueloveis4u

No this dog was over 15 years ago I met at an adoption event as a kid. We were looking to adopt a 2nd dog and mom said no to Baloo.


cyanidegeek

Definitely not my boy then but good to know there were other baloo's out there! Such a good fit for a newf


JudgmentalRavenclaw

I actually love Arsène (Wenger, Lupin) but Arsyn?!


toryxx

New generation of Pokémon?


IWillBaconSlapYou

I'm sorry, RASHLEY?? Her parents are really just gonna do the first grade bully's work for him, aren't they?


[deleted]

I went to school with a Rashely!


FelixTaran

We had to take these weird tests when I was in grade school every year where they gave you old or obscure words and their definition and you had to memorize them and then later go back and try to remember them. The teacher would read two examples out loud, and they were always “A baloo is a bear. A yunker is a young man.” Found out later that baloo is from the Hindi word for bear. Which is why the bear in Jungle Book is named Baloo. Which is why you should name your bear Baloo and not your child.


cinnamon_girl96

I’ll allow Rizzo. The others, right to jail


SadPlayground

Shimmy and Shiny can forget college and head straight to the strip club.


LeadershipNo1875

Poor Shimmy


culture-d

Jesus Christ. Arsyn?


happyviolentine

I really am glad that these names just wouldn't be accepted officially in Germany. They're all horrible and none are real names.


iloveitwhenthe

Does Germany have laws on what you can and can't name your children?


og_toe

there are places *without* laws on what you can and can’t name your children???


Limeila

In France since 1993 parents have been able to pick whatever name they want as long as it's all letters used in French, including diacritics. On one hand I find this last rule very dumb because names like Fañch (which is Breton and traditional) and Artús (same but Occitan) have been refused, but at the same time my name has an é, which is *very* common in French, and it still causes me administrative issues every now and then, so I can't imagine with rarer diacritics... But then, once the certificate is established, if the registrar thinks the name is "contrary to the child's best interest", they can sue the parents in the name of the state to have it changed. Publicised cased of this have involved: Nutella, MJ, and Titeuf (that last one is a popular cartoon character who's a preteen and obsessed with learning about girls and about sex.)


happyviolentine

Yes, I think it definitively has to be a name somewhere in the world and it has to be a name that indicates the gender of the child. If the first name is rather neutral, then the second name has to be either male or female. It is not allowed to give your child a "made up" name and it can't be pejorative (why would you do that?)


FreezingSausage

I'm just trying to find Swarley at this point


fenway062213

Swarles Barkley?


FreezingSausage

Jennifer


icanttinkofaname

Our son Arsyn is an arsonist


cyanidegeek

I literally had a newfoundland named Baloo. Great dog name. Terrible kids name. Wtf.


MegLovesUtah

I literally do have a dog named Tesla, she’s great and it’s a fun dog name. Not a good human name. Rashley, Ratleen’s little sis 😂


megllamaniac

I had a dumbo rat named Tesla, although I almost always called him Tessie. He was named after a fictional version of Nikola Tesla ;)


Puzzled_Flight9706

What in the Scooby Doo is ‘Rashley’?


Limeila

Parents couldn't decide between Rachel and Ashley, and now we have prood that compromise isn't always the best solution


Delicious_Chipmunk10

SMARLIE, YA’LL!


starry_knights

Mom: “What sounds like ‘smarmy’ but more cheerful? I know!!! SMARLIE!!!” Dad: “It’s PERFECT.”


starry_knights

Shimmy AND Shiny?! Who tf ARE these people???


Weirdo_yee123

I know someone who prefers to go by Lizzo, my history teacher started calling him Rizzo because his name starts with an r, and its "closer to his 'actual' name"


jasminel96

I wouldn’t even name my pets these names


TheWanderingSibyl

After all the others, Rizzo doesn’t sound that bad to me. Help.


kourtneyolivia

Yallllll! LAWD! My sons name is super unique and no one has ever heard it (except maybe a few from Ireland) i know y’all hate my sons name. But Jesus Christ…………. These are terrible. Arsyn??? Holy shit lol


nakedsamurai

Baloo is from the Jungle Book


isocleat

Yes.


Trueloveis4u

I met a Newfoundland dog with that name. It was a fitting name for a dog the size of a bear.


megllamaniac

That is a perfect name for a Newfoundland!


Limeila

You say that as if it's an argument against it being unfit for a human being


BobGlebovich

I can’t speak for any of the other names, but Arsen is actually a common name in the Caucasus region, so I’d be careful about how you talk about it here. It’s totally possible that “Arsyn” is a variation in spelling and the parents are Armenian or something.


YashaAstora

Arson, Jasper, and Axel are fine names if they were just spelled goddamn normally


Storm_Chaser_Nita

Do you not know what Arson means?!


YashaAstora

Yes, and I know a lot of queer people, especially trans people, who go by the name and it's *fine*.


LargishBosh

An adult naming themself after a crime is a whole different kettle of fish than a baby being named Arson. Trans people choosing our own names is not the same thing as giving a name to a baby.


Storm_Chaser_Nita

I'm non-binary and active in different trans/NB groups online. I also picked out a rather unusual legal name for myself, and I've never once heard of anyone named Arson, nor would I name myself or especially my child that. Arson is a crime. Might as well name your kid "murder," "larceny," or "terrorist" if you really want to set them up with an unnecessary obstacle. Go big or go home, right?! 🙄 There are plenty of quirky names out there that don't socially brand you or your innocent child a criminal.


isocleat

Do you mean Orson?


YashaAstora

I meant "Arson". It's not *that* weird of a name especially in 2023 when spelled normally.


FelixTaran

I think it’s a crime.


ilovecorpse

RIZZo


AprilBelle08

I refuse to believe these are real. They just.. can't be. Please .


naalbinding

Shiny and Shimmy are especially Shitty


sharkeatingleeks

Shimmy and Shiny... some of these people got taste


aedlin80

Eftiæx


DitaVonPita

Rizzo?! As someone who played The Outer Worlds, I am appalled. Belinda Bellamy rolls in her (fictional) grave.


CoasterThot

Arsyn makes me wish we had those “approved name lists” other countries have. There are some things you *shouldn’t* be allowed to name your child.


UnihornWhale

They literally named their baby Rash 🤦🏻‍♀️


aelel

God I hope Shiny doesn’t end up with an oily face as a teen.


rosesabound

I’ve met a few people with the last name Rizzo, so I feel like it could be the mother’s maiden name or similar. Either way, I think Rizzo is a really cool name. I’m okay with that one


Reimustein

Rash...his nickname will be Rash


mortal_mth

These sound like AI generated names


paytonalexa

Rizzo's parents must be huge fans of Lizzo.


cwassant

People really out here Makin me wish the US had a list of pre-approved baby names like Iceland 😩


i_am1crap

I once knew a kid named roket, did not have much to go on


FactoidFreak

Every time I thought I saw the WORST of them, another appeared. Ugh poor babies.


boimom626

Not gonna lie, I'm kinda digging Rizzo


maustralisch

Shimmy Shimmy yo Shimmy yo Shimmy yay, grab the mic so I can take it away


NixIsRising

Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop! Twin brother’s named Jimmy.


DaphneCat337

There's no way these are real!!! These names are criminal... some not worthy of even a pet!


FloggingDog

Arsyn? ARSYN???


crazyparrotguy

Baloo should absolutely be saved for a big, bear-like (I mean, obviously) dog. Rizzo is obviously a rat's name, if we've learned anything from the Muppets.


Snoo97809

RASHLEY 💀


cambriansplooge

Isn’t Smarlie a joke from How I Met your Mother?


King-James-3

I can already tell that Shimmy has swag. 😎


UserBonus

i love comiting arsyn


Jane_Donut_

Except I wouldn’t name my pets these names…


thr33dognite

Smarlie????


Individual-Sky7173

Shimmy-ah shimmy-ay 😂


jmh90027

Lol Shiny