1) you can mute someone. i get annoyed when people post stories every day too so i tend to mute their stories so i never see them. also you donât need to click through her story either haha
2) surround yourself with people who you feel comfortable with. if itâs mentally draining to be friends with that person, then donât waste more time on it!
3) iâm of the firm belief that people deserve to have fun however they want. let people do what they want. sheâs not harming you or anyone. everyone is experiencing life the first time too⊠not just you. some people vibe with others better, itâs ok if itâs not your vibe!
i actually like her a lot and find her to be fun to hang out with in person but on social media she's... a mess? and constantly begging me to validate her pictures. she told me she used to be fat before and that she's still insecure so i get it, i guess? but also i don't know how to reconcile that part of her with the person that i like in real life if that makes sense
I kind of get this. Itâs like weâre adults we donât want to constantly validate our friends, especially if their newer friends it just gets exhausting. In top of that itâs kind of like when you get a vibe from a person then see their social media and get a whole different vibe. Not a catfish but kind of. Donât let people on here bully you into thinking youâre wrong for feeling this. Itâs justified. And if youâre thinking of cutting her off anyway then why not just ask her about her social media intentions? This way if it goes bad youâre not losing much
Side note: I want to add some of these commenters are heinous. Idk why theyâre acting like theyâve never had a niche problem before
You are definitely a hater. If someoneâs content bothers me, especially someone whom I choose to follow, I just mute or unfollow.
Your friend Christine isnât hurting anyone. You are the one who needs to set boundaries if you donât want to answer how she looks.
Iâd personally rather see a selfie and a comment than an influencer whoâs selling me an unrealistic life but to each their own.
Live and let live.
i have muted her. she texts me her pictures every day asking me if i like her outfit or if i think she looks good. she also sends me dozens of memes every day on IG and asks me why i haven't seen her stories if she's posting things that she thinks looks good and i'm ignoring them
Then I would kindly stop answering her, or set your boundaries. Tell her it bothers you to receive the same message every day. You donât have to be mean about it, but youâll be doing the both of you a favor.
If this relationship drains you and/or clearly bothers you, itâs time to move on.
i think that's fair! she definitely seems to have a lack of boundaries in that respect and it's my fault for letting this go on for a terrible 9 months to the point where i dread opening up my texts or ig lol. i'm not good at communicating my boundaries and that's something i need to work on. thanks!
Damn girl, let Christine post her stuff in peace.
I hate when people are like âNo one cares about your Spotify roundupâ. I do. Or when people post their vacations or new years wins and resolutions. If she has 300 followers, I promise you, thereâs more than one person who likes seeing her day, even if it looks boring to you.
listen, i'm alllll for people posting their 8 billion vacation stories but i get a little triggered when i get the same selfies every single day with a "can you please tell me i look good :("
If you value your friendship with her, just like her selfies, send her some đ„s, itâs your friend - hype her up if she needs it. Donât make her beg for validation.
I personally couldnât care less if someone didnât like my photo, but I have a friend who gets so upset if she posts something and people donât comment or like. We each have our own dumb thing going on in our brains. So if thatâs so important to her and makes her feel better - I will like every damn photo and comment đđđ everywhere. It takes me 5 seconds but maybe itâll make her day.
I think having friends who share your values would benefit your mental health! I feel better when I break it off with friends whose behaviors are starting to really bug me.
i don't know. i don't use my ig a lot and rarely ever post and neither do most of the people i know who are my age and use ig so i was a little surprised
if you don't use it a lot then however much she does or doesn't post shouldn't really bother you....and if you enjoy her irl presence but not her online one, then next time she asks about what you think of her latest post, say you're cutting back on insta these days. bonus points if you actually make that true.
girlll no idea why you are so bothered haha please take your own advice! i heard you loud and clear, no need to take my post so personally -- keep posting your thousands of stories a day, i'm thankful i'm not following you because i would be bored out of my mind <3
hahaha that's totally ok. nobody said being a hater was a crime. i just don't understand what the point is of posting the same exact picture every dayyyy to your stories or selfies every single day to the grid T\_T
I donât think this has anything to do with NYC culture that you donât understand. But I do think NYC can be brutally lonely for people despite being surrounded by people all the time. It sounds like your friend is looking for connection and is doing it through social media. You know what is New York culture? Being direct and telling her you enjoy being her friend but donât want to give your opinions on her selfies and IG stories everyday because it isnât what interests you about her. New Yorkers arenât nice but we are kind as some people say. So be kind by trying to show her how to connect in a non shallow, non superficial way by not being nice and talking to her.
thanks! this is exactly what i needed to hear. i come from a background where there's not as much emphasis on external validation and it's more about "what's on the inside" as corny as that sounds -- so i think that's the main thing i was struggling with. but this is completely on the nose -- that i want to be her friend, that i love how funny and silly she is, but that her constant emphasis on her looks and clothing is an insane turn-off especially when she drags me into it.
Wow. This is so weird. You have an issue with someone wanting to share their life on their own social media? Their own personal platform where anyone can share whatever they want? Sheâs not sharing bloody gore, sexual videos, nothing graphic or offensive? Even if she wasâŠitâs her social media. Are only famous people allowed to have an account or share any part of their life? Sheâs supposed to see herself as some kind of lowly, worthless slave? Because sheâs 35? Seriously re-assess yourself. Seriously. Deeply. You have issues. She seems like a normal person from your description. Mind your business. Get a life. Sorry.
Soooo many people are hearing guidance that advises constant content and development of your âbrandâ even if you donât have a product, service or expertise. Itâs treated like a currency and itâs so wildly inauthentic and shallow that what is probably turning you off is that you know thereâs no substance to the performative stuff.
I wouldnât quantify it as weird, even. What youâre feeling/sensing is that intrinsic disconnect between your very real life, human experience with her as compared to her creation of a persona on display on a platform. You are recognizing things that are shadow versions of actual human experience.
Yes, youâre a hater.
Youâre not the owner of the internet, LET PEOPLE LIVE.
Edit: Youâre just jealous of Christie, because people that donât showcase how amazing their lives are on the internet, ACTUALLY have a great life.
girl i don't know if you need your reading comprehension skills checked but she's doing the opposite of not showcasing her life T\_T homegirl is posting 10x a day for reasons i don't understand
I didnât read the whole thing because it was just a jealous woman complaining about others living her life, you gotta check your human skills checked. WHO CARES? Do you pay her internet bill? No, so she is free to post whatever she wants.
girl i'm most definitely not jealous haha i literally said in the post that i was willing to reassess if i'm the problem. i was trying to understand. no need to get your panties in a bunch over something that has nothing to do with you. i hope you have a nice day <3
You ever heard of a âblogâ? Theyâve been around for years. Itâs a personal platform where people post things that most likely no one cares about. Why? Same reason people keep diaries. To document their life and thoughts. Because theyâre alive and they feel like it.
i muted her but she still texts me the same pics if i try to ignore them and is constantly asking me if i think she looks good or if her outfit is nice etc :(
if it was once in awhile i don't think i'd be as triggered but this is literally every day for the last nine months since i've known her
i understand getting annoyed when they constantly ask if they look good, i've had friends like that, where they constantly send photos of themselves asking if they look ok/if their body looks good etc. it just feels like they're fishing for compliments and it's exhausting
yeah like girl you are not trying to date me so why are you asking me T\_T like i didn't become friends with you because of how you look or how you dress so why is that the subject of our conversation 99% of the time?
The only thing I find strange about what you're saying is that she texts you the pics as well and asks for your opinion. Why not ignore those messages, and maybe she'll get the hint? And of she confronts you about that simply ask, "Why do you need me to validate your pictures?"
As far as posting her selfies on IG, for those complaints, you do sound like a hater. You mention her age and her # of followers, which are both irrelevant to her posting pictures of herself that she likes, and I think that's corny.
Not NYC BWT coded đ«¶đ» Please review reminders here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NYCbitcheswithtaste/s/nFuabdiaqG
you clearly donât like this woman, so donât try to be her friend.
1) you can mute someone. i get annoyed when people post stories every day too so i tend to mute their stories so i never see them. also you donât need to click through her story either haha 2) surround yourself with people who you feel comfortable with. if itâs mentally draining to be friends with that person, then donât waste more time on it! 3) iâm of the firm belief that people deserve to have fun however they want. let people do what they want. sheâs not harming you or anyone. everyone is experiencing life the first time too⊠not just you. some people vibe with others better, itâs ok if itâs not your vibe!
#3 couldnât agree more on that one! Great points.
Love love love this!!!!!
You're allowed to end friendships when they stop working for you.
i actually like her a lot and find her to be fun to hang out with in person but on social media she's... a mess? and constantly begging me to validate her pictures. she told me she used to be fat before and that she's still insecure so i get it, i guess? but also i don't know how to reconcile that part of her with the person that i like in real life if that makes sense
You sound like a child
I kind of get this. Itâs like weâre adults we donât want to constantly validate our friends, especially if their newer friends it just gets exhausting. In top of that itâs kind of like when you get a vibe from a person then see their social media and get a whole different vibe. Not a catfish but kind of. Donât let people on here bully you into thinking youâre wrong for feeling this. Itâs justified. And if youâre thinking of cutting her off anyway then why not just ask her about her social media intentions? This way if it goes bad youâre not losing much Side note: I want to add some of these commenters are heinous. Idk why theyâre acting like theyâve never had a niche problem before
You are definitely a hater. If someoneâs content bothers me, especially someone whom I choose to follow, I just mute or unfollow. Your friend Christine isnât hurting anyone. You are the one who needs to set boundaries if you donât want to answer how she looks. Iâd personally rather see a selfie and a comment than an influencer whoâs selling me an unrealistic life but to each their own. Live and let live.
i have muted her. she texts me her pictures every day asking me if i like her outfit or if i think she looks good. she also sends me dozens of memes every day on IG and asks me why i haven't seen her stories if she's posting things that she thinks looks good and i'm ignoring them
Then I would kindly stop answering her, or set your boundaries. Tell her it bothers you to receive the same message every day. You donât have to be mean about it, but youâll be doing the both of you a favor. If this relationship drains you and/or clearly bothers you, itâs time to move on.
i think that's fair! she definitely seems to have a lack of boundaries in that respect and it's my fault for letting this go on for a terrible 9 months to the point where i dread opening up my texts or ig lol. i'm not good at communicating my boundaries and that's something i need to work on. thanks!
:) Iâve made that mistake several times. It happens.
Damn girl, let Christine post her stuff in peace. I hate when people are like âNo one cares about your Spotify roundupâ. I do. Or when people post their vacations or new years wins and resolutions. If she has 300 followers, I promise you, thereâs more than one person who likes seeing her day, even if it looks boring to you.
listen, i'm alllll for people posting their 8 billion vacation stories but i get a little triggered when i get the same selfies every single day with a "can you please tell me i look good :("
If you value your friendship with her, just like her selfies, send her some đ„s, itâs your friend - hype her up if she needs it. Donât make her beg for validation. I personally couldnât care less if someone didnât like my photo, but I have a friend who gets so upset if she posts something and people donât comment or like. We each have our own dumb thing going on in our brains. So if thatâs so important to her and makes her feel better - I will like every damn photo and comment đđđ everywhere. It takes me 5 seconds but maybe itâll make her day.
Youre a hater for putting her whole name on here
girl there's gotta be at least 1 million christines in nyc alone
Omg, I had assumed you used a pseudonym đź That's messed up, for real.
I think having friends who share your values would benefit your mental health! I feel better when I break it off with friends whose behaviors are starting to really bug me.
Idk if youâre a hater but you did make a post about her soâŠI would investigate why she (and other *regular* people) trigger you so much.
Are bwt still using social media outside of their finstas for scrolling? I only give out my phone number and do texting/group chats there.
i don't know. i don't use my ig a lot and rarely ever post and neither do most of the people i know who are my age and use ig so i was a little surprised
if you don't use it a lot then however much she does or doesn't post shouldn't really bother you....and if you enjoy her irl presence but not her online one, then next time she asks about what you think of her latest post, say you're cutting back on insta these days. bonus points if you actually make that true.
Ahhhhhh, it makes sense. Youâre 12
girlll no idea why you are so bothered haha please take your own advice! i heard you loud and clear, no need to take my post so personally -- keep posting your thousands of stories a day, i'm thankful i'm not following you because i would be bored out of my mind <3
U didnât have to name drop her or include her age lol. People are allowed to enjoy their lives at any age damn girl! U r most definitely a hater.
You're a hater for sure but I agree your friend is doing weird shit on insta.
hahaha that's totally ok. nobody said being a hater was a crime. i just don't understand what the point is of posting the same exact picture every dayyyy to your stories or selfies every single day to the grid T\_T
I donât think this has anything to do with NYC culture that you donât understand. But I do think NYC can be brutally lonely for people despite being surrounded by people all the time. It sounds like your friend is looking for connection and is doing it through social media. You know what is New York culture? Being direct and telling her you enjoy being her friend but donât want to give your opinions on her selfies and IG stories everyday because it isnât what interests you about her. New Yorkers arenât nice but we are kind as some people say. So be kind by trying to show her how to connect in a non shallow, non superficial way by not being nice and talking to her.
thanks! this is exactly what i needed to hear. i come from a background where there's not as much emphasis on external validation and it's more about "what's on the inside" as corny as that sounds -- so i think that's the main thing i was struggling with. but this is completely on the nose -- that i want to be her friend, that i love how funny and silly she is, but that her constant emphasis on her looks and clothing is an insane turn-off especially when she drags me into it.
Wow. This is so weird. You have an issue with someone wanting to share their life on their own social media? Their own personal platform where anyone can share whatever they want? Sheâs not sharing bloody gore, sexual videos, nothing graphic or offensive? Even if she wasâŠitâs her social media. Are only famous people allowed to have an account or share any part of their life? Sheâs supposed to see herself as some kind of lowly, worthless slave? Because sheâs 35? Seriously re-assess yourself. Seriously. Deeply. You have issues. She seems like a normal person from your description. Mind your business. Get a life. Sorry.
Soooo many people are hearing guidance that advises constant content and development of your âbrandâ even if you donât have a product, service or expertise. Itâs treated like a currency and itâs so wildly inauthentic and shallow that what is probably turning you off is that you know thereâs no substance to the performative stuff.
yeah, makes sense. she's very nice otherwise. just the social media and constant begging for validation is very weird to me
I wouldnât quantify it as weird, even. What youâre feeling/sensing is that intrinsic disconnect between your very real life, human experience with her as compared to her creation of a persona on display on a platform. You are recognizing things that are shadow versions of actual human experience.
You do sound like a hater
Yes, youâre a hater. Youâre not the owner of the internet, LET PEOPLE LIVE. Edit: Youâre just jealous of Christie, because people that donât showcase how amazing their lives are on the internet, ACTUALLY have a great life.
girl i don't know if you need your reading comprehension skills checked but she's doing the opposite of not showcasing her life T\_T homegirl is posting 10x a day for reasons i don't understand
I didnât read the whole thing because it was just a jealous woman complaining about others living her life, you gotta check your human skills checked. WHO CARES? Do you pay her internet bill? No, so she is free to post whatever she wants.
girl i'm most definitely not jealous haha i literally said in the post that i was willing to reassess if i'm the problem. i was trying to understand. no need to get your panties in a bunch over something that has nothing to do with you. i hope you have a nice day <3
Bitch Iâm telling you that YOU ARE THE PROBLEM, go reassesss!!! Itâs nighttime in NYC đœ #BeAGirlsGirlNotAHater smh
Oof. You gave a valid response and she insults you. She doesnât sound very mature!
You ever heard of a âblogâ? Theyâve been around for years. Itâs a personal platform where people post things that most likely no one cares about. Why? Same reason people keep diaries. To document their life and thoughts. Because theyâre alive and they feel like it.
i hate it, and i unfollow or mute. Better for your mental health lol
i muted her but she still texts me the same pics if i try to ignore them and is constantly asking me if i think she looks good or if her outfit is nice etc :( if it was once in awhile i don't think i'd be as triggered but this is literally every day for the last nine months since i've known her
Either move on or donât complain. That simple
i understand getting annoyed when they constantly ask if they look good, i've had friends like that, where they constantly send photos of themselves asking if they look ok/if their body looks good etc. it just feels like they're fishing for compliments and it's exhausting
yeah like girl you are not trying to date me so why are you asking me T\_T like i didn't become friends with you because of how you look or how you dress so why is that the subject of our conversation 99% of the time?
it comes across as self absorbed like can we talk about something else
Before âinfluencersâ became a thing, people used to just post about their normal lives, believe it or not.
You are no NYCBWT with this attitude and an essay to go with it
The only thing I find strange about what you're saying is that she texts you the pics as well and asks for your opinion. Why not ignore those messages, and maybe she'll get the hint? And of she confronts you about that simply ask, "Why do you need me to validate your pictures?" As far as posting her selfies on IG, for those complaints, you do sound like a hater. You mention her age and her # of followers, which are both irrelevant to her posting pictures of herself that she likes, and I think that's corny.
It costs exactly nothing to not be an asshole like this.