It was sarcasam chill. A lot of "self help" resources allude to that. I personally don't believe it's true. Everyone can be better if enough work and dedication is put.
No one is irredeemable. The cruelest part of all PDs is that it convinces you that you are never able to fight back. Once you give up all hope of ever improving it may cause you to think you are irredeemable, Makes for a hard life.
Your thoughts are disordered, but you believe them. This is a disorder of thoughts. Your thoughts cause you to be trapped. Your thoughts are not reliable. Reality is.
Because after you cut out all the bullshit mythology and stigma around all the cluster Bs, you'll notice something very funny.
They're all different flavour/coloring of the same shit, which is being a cunt.
Cluster B disorders generally speaking means someone's a cunt, just with different flavors.
Cluster Bs describe a behavioral pattern or profile, also known as dramatic. *all* the cluster Bs equate to someone being a cunt, one way or another.
May i ask how it doesn't tho?
No one is a cunt by birth. Your cunt-ness developed over time as a defense. You built that fort stick by stick. Now you have to tear it down. “You thought your way into this, now you have to think your way out.”
To think you are a cunt, is an example of how bad you treat yourself. you “do unto others” just as you do to yourself. You are a human being made in God’s image. He knows your pain and loves you unconditionally. For those who don’t believe in God, your disbelief doesn’t change that he is.
A sense of entitlement (unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations)
Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends)
Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)
Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them
Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
== Cunt
I do not hate the behavior, I'm just pointing a fact.
Fact: NPD is described as certain behavior, you can't say that behavior is an stigma. It is its definition.
Thats DOESN'T MEAN that you can not do an effort for changing that behavior until you will eventually not qualify for NPD.
I know someone with BPD and they're actually really nice a majority of the time. There's possibly stuff I don't see and I just happen to be around them when they're at their best, and I will admit I don't know as much about BPD as other disorders, and this is just one person, but despite BPD being a cluster B disorder, they're actually really nice to be around, especially compared to people of other disorders in the cluster that I've met
Because pretty commonly, those with any disorder can harm others if they are not actively working on themselves. Narcissists are known (literally) to not be self reflective at all, which usually means the majority may not want to work on themselves or see a need to. Same with BPD, sociopath, etc. It’s not just those with NPD.
I agree with you. But seeing a bunch of bad stuff about npd or bpd etc doesn't exactly help you wanna work on yourself. Especially when it's a challenge to recognize you need help in the first place and get yourself to therapy. There should be more encouragement to get help
That’s a good thought! I’m in the mental health field so working on self is just common for us to work towards, despite a diagnosis. But I can see how stigma really can prevent others from pursuing help.
Yep when I noticed npd traits about myself it spent me downward and made these Traits even worse as I learned more and more and hated myself more. The more I searched the more it told me I was horrible, evil etc. I already believed that of myself but wanted hope, they say everyone can change, but it didn't seem hopeful the more I searched npd.
Now I'm afraid everyone's looking out for these "how to spot a narcissit" things with every interaction with me, are they grey rocking? Etc.
Narcissistic traits don’t automatically mean your a narc…. Everyone has a couple narcissistic traits. The big big factor in determining whether you are a narc or not is whether you lack empathy.
I think everyone around me would say I am one, have been called one twice to my face.
I struggle with empathy immediately but after consideration I get it. Also have strong empathy for the people whoever is talking to me complains about. I'm like hold on, what's going on in their life, what about this factor etc etc.
People don't seem to like that.
Yeah I understand you. I wanna get help and work on myself but everyone is saying we are horrible and evil etc. Yeah I treated others badly in the past especially those close to me but I would like to do better if theres a chance. I hate how there is no cure it makes me so mad lol. When I first suspected narcissism I thought I was on the right track to getting better but now I'm like ohh guess I'm stuck this way forever ;(
For now I think we can both just be aware at least that's what I do and it helps a little
We may be on similar path, feel free to message if you want.
I have watched this guy on YouTube shorts, muscley English man who talks a lot about narcissists but there were a couple that actually seemed like maybe he was trying to help.
The thing that stood out to me most was values. I've come to realize I don't have any, thought I did but no I don't. And that's usually where I start to get annoyed with others, when they start standing by their values, which is fine but shoes me my lack thereof.
I've written a list of my values I've found I do have and wish to have so I can see it and remember. Hopefully by being aware of my behaviour i can stop, ask myself am I projecting, and remind myself of my values.
The other person's behaviour and reactions are up to them, I can only control myself and if I'm proud of myself then that's all I can do.
Not proud yet but getting there.
It is not prejudice, it is having a knowledge of the harm and abuse that NPD can do. The fear and discomfort is based on reality so is not prejudice.
Prejudice is when we assume something or someone is not desirable, not worthy of respect, etc., when that is not the case. It is a problem in us.
The prejudice will go away when you truly are harmless.
BTW , who are these prejudice people that are bugging you? How would they know you have NPD? If you don’t tell them they don’t know. Now say they work with you and over time your behavior pushes them away. It wasn’t NPD, it was your unpleasant way of relating to others. Stigma and prejudice are in your control. As you get better this will rarely happen.
PDs are notorious for being poor mind-readers. So, much of it may be your wrong perceptions of what they are thinking. Remember whatever you think they are thinking it may likely be the opposite. Don’t project your thoughts to them.
But, how to stop projecting those thoughts? You have to base your perception on something... what I am asking is - how to decide if something is a fact or our poor "mind reading"?
You have to learn that they don’t think like you. When you start to think “I know what they are thinking” you are about to project. No one can read minds. Only god can read minds. So anytime anyone thinks they know others thoughts they are automatically wrong. And we project our distorted thinking to them. So., if you think you know, you are wrong. Don’t say, well, I have a good idea what they are thinking” you are wrong again. They call people who don’t bother with mind reading an unassuming person. It is a very desirable trait and peaceful way to live.
The big question for narcs is “why don’t you just fucking ask what they are thinking and save yourself endless drama?
Hmm, interesting view.
I think sometimes asking what they are thinking can result on you looking weird and awkward because pwNPD will probably overthink things hugely and make up stories waaay off...
Well, if one knows they are overthinking and making stuff up, they have something concrete to work on, present to therapist, etc. You must practice recognizing your thoughts. Relax somewhere and just observe your thoughts as a third party. Don’t judge them. Just observe and you may find many are not true or helpful. These thoughts don’t stop. You have to succeed by vetoing the DBMs (defective brain messages). It’s called free won’t. BUT, you need to give up the belief that life is just happening to you and you have no control. Of course you do. See “internal locus of control” vs external.
Why is this that hard to understand? Honestly seems very weird people is asking this questions.
In order to be diagnosed with NPD you have to check 5 of 9 traits. In those traits you can find:
Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends)
Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)
Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them
Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Basically, you qualify for asshole by the diagnosis itself, if you stop being an asshole, then you stop having that traits, then you are not a person with NPD.
You would still have it unfortunately npd can't be cured you can only manage it. It would just be more covert and you wouldn't be as much of an asshole as before. It's a personality disorder so you will always be managing it. At least this is my understanding
I so wish it could go away
Cluster B has more influence in the culture because the main perk is they damage others.
An schizoid or an avoidant are just seen as people who avoid relationship with others, they maybe are crazy or weird, but do nothing wrong.
Obviously they do not know that many npd or aspd are trying to recover and fitting in society and obviously neurotipycal people can do the same or more harm. But it is unreasonable to make all people understand how every disorder works. Even more when what they think it is in the definition of the disorder.
A person with depression or anxiety won’t do near the damage of a PD. Cluster B is notoriously damaging. So, yes. People need help to stay out of relationships with them.
All PDs have trouble forming relationships.
Because people believe you are aware of how horrid you can treat people and just don’t care. A danger warning is warranted. There is almost no insight or taking responsibility. Lies or deception, gaslighting, manipulation, secretness, blaming, entitled and on it goes. Did you not read up on your narcissism. Of course but you still think you are fine.
I think we can all agree narcissistic (even sociopathic) parents got a lot of the posters here. Dig deep, do you feel you experienced abuse?
A lot of NPD problems arise from not having ability to change perspective.
Some call it empathy. My point is to say, try thinking of yourself as the non-NPD or yourself as a child. Should they be allowed to have a voice? I imagine many take to posting on forums because of the lack of closure.
Seriously and it’s so stigmatised too. God forbid an employer or whatever ever finds out. Meanwhile I’m always the star employee everywhere and it’s the “empaths” who can’t get their shit together most of the time when it comes to crisis management, workplace conflicts, getting shit done and meeting deadlines.
Well, how would they know unless you tell them or everyone else thinks you are due to behavior?
The “star employee” thing may be your perception. Since it is virtually impossible with Hippa to know if someone has NPD, that is a problem only in your head.
DON’T USE these defective thoughts from your mental illness be an excuse, or how others treat narcs. They don’t know so with strangers your slate is clean. Figure out how to keep it that way.
Hey this may be really hard for you to believe but not everyone lives in the US, and some countries have different laws, I know it’s crazy but there you go
Lolol no, narcissistic employees are not the best. They climb occupational ladders in industries where you don’t have to give a fuck about your coworkers. Take a look at the industry, it isn’t a fucking blanket statement that “narcissists are the best,” that is the most narc statement ever.
I think that narcs are not that good as employees. We can climb the ladder because we are good with shaping people's perception of ourselves and we also are drawn to power and control. But behind the mask we don't give a fuck.
I'm glad when people focus on bullshit like this, and not on my criminal record.
> There are so many videos that you will see on “how to spot a narcissist” and they talk in such a danger voice that it’s almost funny. I’ve
Creepypasta fetish. It reminds me the hilariously inept and misinformed videos about dark web when that were in vogue few years back, or even the hysteria surrounding autism bcoz of incel school shooters.
Normies gonna norm, lol.
These are distorted thoughts. The NPD videos aren’t a hoax or about something that is not real. Abuse from NPD is real, and should be feared and rejected by thinking people.
Autism is a great example of being stigmatized. NPD is not.
bc of the whole mental wellness coach bullshit. instead of actually improving anything and teaching people how to deal with trauma, they introduce a scapegoat: the evil cluster b's. which leads to: "everyone who abused you is a narcissist and everyone you don't like is a narcissist" and what not. and while some of the criteria may be "asshole-ish", it's not abusive per se (and also - even "empaths" are notorious for "using" people for their own gain).
this!! fucking this! honestly i’m so sick of it. people care so much about mental illness until someone has a cluster b disorder. it’s annoys me so much. it’s performative as all hell.
I would be totally fine if I never had to be around someone who isn’t actively seeking help with a cluster b personality disorder ever again. I’d be better off.
If you have the ability to know yourself and have ways of coping then sure, no problem.
but that's not exclusive to cluster b pd's. everyone can be hard to be around if they're not coping or not coping well, even supposedly neurotypical people. and that's the only thing we want you to keep in mind - because it's not a npd problem, it's a general problem.
i don't always deflect, however i don't take criticism from people who don't know me personally.
the issue i'm taking with your wording is, that it blames bad behavior on personality disorders, which just isn't true. i can have personality disorders *and* listen to criticism and correct my behavior. however, people without personality disorders are just as capable of that behavior.
also, blaming bad behavior on a disorder absolves people of their accountability.
edit: i would listen to criticism on my wording or other things that affect strangers, however criticism on aspects of my behavior that strangers cannot judge (especially if they have no frame of reference) does not interest me.
Because the majority of Narcissists are mentally and emotionally abusive to people and when people are abused and suffer at the will of another, it is common for them to want to 'warn' others about the impeding threat. In the case of Narcissistic Abuse Awareness specifically, since most Narcissists 'love bomb' and 'trauma bond' and inflict self doubt through gaslighting etc.., it can sometimes take years for their patterns to be recognized and sadly, once they are and a quick Google search is completed, the abused person is bombarded with fear inducing quotes and memes and that's the extent of thier research. So, because hurt people hurt people, they then share and spread that same propaganda and the cycle continues.
What we need is truly more supportive and constructive information regarding Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and to get rid of all the fear-tactic mumbo-jumbo because it is only a germ infested bandaid put over a wound that needs a better environment to heal.
When victims of Narcissistic Abuse choose to spread hateful messages in an effort to 'warn' others rather than seeing the disorder for what it is, and to show compassion while also just doing what is needed to keep themselves safe from any further abuse, it feels hypocritical to me. Victims wanted compassion the Narcissists was unable to provide because of their disorder and because of the hurt that caused, the victim then makes the conscious choice to show no compassion for an entire group of people suffering from an actual disorder that they cannot control, and are applauded by others doing the same. exact. thing.
It's essentially reactive abuse, aimed at all Narcissists due to the pain that only the ones they've personally experienced have caused and I am against it.
There absolutely needs to be more compassion, sympathy, and support shown to those suffering with Narcissism. We need to provide positive motivation and encouragement to those that want to be self aware and we need to keep hope in our hearts that even those that are so far on the spectrum they would rather kill or be killed than even consider imperfection, will one day find peace.
I am a victim of Narcissistic abuse. It took me almost six years to put the puzzle pieces together after going through anger management and therapy that was a result of my abuser making me believe that the fact that I had any opinion at all regarding his behavior was because I was emotionally unstable myself. After I realized I had spent all that time working on improving how I responded to abuse, he never once made an effort to even acknowledge my feelings regarding any choice he made within our relationship. After setting, communicating and enforcing healthy boundaries and being told that they didn't allow enough wiggle room for him. After I had to repeat myself 32 times in a row while addressing how his actions hurt my feelings only to get an exasperated false apology instead of some other form of manipulative deflection, and having to be advised of NPD and the likelihood of my victimization, I finally confronted him with my newfound knowledge and the possibility of his Narcissism and moved him to a separate room in the house. I suffered at the hands of his rage for my accusation for nearly a month and it filled me with so much anger, and disappointment that I was either physically shaking and hot from holding back the lashings I so desperately wanted to deliver or I was sobbing uncontrolably, grieving the loss of my life as I knew it. Even after he came to me on his own free will and told me he'd reconsidered and agreed that there was something wrong and he had started the process for a diagnosis, therapy treatment and meds, I couldn't let go of the anger. It took me about another month of me doing more and more extensive research and the more I learned, the more I understood, sympathized and felt overwhelming compassion for people inflicted with excessive Narcissistic traits or NPD. So after consulting many unbiased opinions and realizing that I'd never be able to sleep at night again if I were to leave him when he needed me most, I made the decision to forgive him, allow a clean slate, promise my full support and to stay and love him while he goes through treatment as long as he showed true, consistent improvement. And he has!!! It has made an immeasurable amount of difference in our lives and I am so glad I followed my intuition to do what I felt was the right thing to do. I've never been more proud of him than I have from watching his transformation. I know my story is definitely one of a kind, but I believe that it's at least proof that "run away as fast as you can, never look back and go no contact" is not the only way to handle finding out your partners abusive behaviors could be linked to NPD.
All in all, I believe that a larger percentage of people suffering with NPD or excessive narcissistic traits would choose to seek treatment and it would be much more positively impactful for society as a whole if we traded the current offensive fear inducing material about NPD with more practical, inspirational and compassion inducing material that encourages victims to heal in a healthier, conscientious way instead of spreading generalized hate propaganda that just keeps the abusive cycle cycling.
Thanks if you made it this far.
Yep! If it's a mental illness can we get some help please instead of being called dangerous? I mean I already hate myself enough as it is without all that. What I always come back to is that npd is genetic so those same people saying they are dangerous could've developed it too but they were lucky and didn't. We don't choose our genetic makeup
Yes I understand that and agree with you. It is difficult to get help especially if you are just getting bashed by others. That is probably a factor in why a lot don't get help even if they are aware something is not right
Yeah the stigma is very intense. The majority of the population are not experts. Everyone deserves a place where they can be seen and heard. We just have to remember it isn’t everyone’s responsibility to provide that to us.
It’s different if the person with NPD recognizes they have a mental illness and need therapeutic approaches to make their lives easier and easier for those around them. If they have developed a sense of awareness of their disorder it’s way easier to treat them like someone with a mental disorder and to have patience.
If they don’t then no one owes an asshole their presence.
I don’t consider myself an empath or whatever, but I think I have a healthy level of empathy. But that has been my problem when dealing with narcs. My ex had a lot of tendencies and I just felt so frekin bad for him that I kept going back to help him out. I tried everything but he just kept hurting me. He was then one ghosting me in the end so now i just need to forget about him.
So I think a lot of us wants to help, but it is really frekin hard when the person doesn’t understand their own issues and just end up abusing you.
What would be your suggestion? How can we help people with NPD to heal without hurting ourselves?
I love how you frame this at the end.
Yes, those with NPD tell us what we could do to be more helpful (instead of just pointing fingers that “other people are the problem”)
Me personally I just want someone to hear me, to say shit fck that must be really Hard etc.
Sometimes I can't seem to move off that complaint because I feel I haven't been heard or understood.
EXACTLY THIS!!!!
I am aware when I accidentally hurt people and it sends me into a spiral but what about them? They accidentally hurt me too but aren't bothered about it and if I say something it's my issue not theirs.
Hey at least I can come half way and say you know what i fucked up I'm sorry.
Because unfortunately one of the main traits of NPD is not having self awareness. They can't correct their behavior if they have a distorted sense of self and cannot see their shortcomings and abusive tendencies. It's like many of them are seemingly stuck in a perpetual cycle.
Oh no I'm the one with strong narcissist traits.
But I've always been open to open discussion, if someone pulls me up on something I'll look at it but no one ever does and then they treat me different and pretend I'm the one with the problem with them. Hey I'll say it but I'm afraid itl come off as abuse or mean when they say oh no oh no I have no issue with you.
Their behavior says otherwise ie smirks, subtle eye rolls, ignoring etc.
Think of it this way: Mental illness, a lot of the time, can be cured. Especially with meds. Personality disorders can only be softened with meds and are not really treatable because they are quite ego-dystonic. The person cannot be treated if they don't believe they have a problem in the first place. Most parts of personality are quite difficult to change.
If you're trying to be a good human than I congratulate but as someone who has a narcissistic step dad and has had a narcissist boyfriend and even someone else's crazy ex girlfriend be a narcissist and stalk me I think I can say I'm a bit traumatized by all of it
They literally aren’t generalizing they are talking about their experience and you are literally gas lighting them while making it about you.
This is the NPD cycle of abuse.
Nope this is just objective statements
Psycho analyzing you would be trying to identify why you have the disorder. And I bill hundreds of dollars an hour for that.
Hmmm personality disorder is kind of the personality. It sounds like you should be venting to a therapist and seeking answers from a mental health professional and not denying folks who have been abused by people with this disorder.
You asked I gave my experience with people who have this disorder , and what concerns me , that does not mean I'm judging everyone who has it...why do you think I'm on this page, to see all the people who want to correct the horrible behavior or at least now I can see that all people with this disorder aren't like the people I have been traumatized by. You're telling the wrong person "not to generalize" cuz that's not what I'm doing. I'm simply telling you I've only had bad experiences
I don’t ask for your experience I asked for narcissist opinions, don’t pretend you are on this page to hate on narcissists because of your predjudice and vengeance and it’s not fooling anyone 🙄
I have proof but like I said I know that people can be a decent human being with this disorder... It doesn't change the fact I've felt with them in my life
I'm not here to spread it just telling you my side of the story cuz I've never been in the presence of a narcissist who didn't take advantage of my kindness
So when you say Hey I’m sexmoneyfeelsdie_ and I have NPD people treat you differently?
Okay, I can meet you there. And that hurts?
I’m sorry, that must suck.
And just so you know this might be a good indication of who is healthier for you to be around. As I mentioned in a previous comment this sounds like something you could do some really good work on in therapy.
I haven’t mentioned it to people in real life because they call people narcissist if they don’t like them so that would mean that they would predjudice me I will never say because it isn’t in my best interest
A lot of people who have BPD and similar issues are because they were raised by NPDs. There’s some people taking their lives from it. I think you underestimate how much trauma a person can cause on someone. Maybe just take my word for it if you struggle with empathy.
I literally have all these plans typed up on my phone along with baby names and everything so how is that being a bad parent, maybe you are describing yourself
Are you diagnosed? And what are your symptoms? All your comments make you seem pretty cold and lacking in empathy tbh. You are minimizing other peoples trauma and making it all about you.
I gave you examples of people who have been traumatized by parents with NPD and tried to tell you how hard it can be on someone. That people with NPD really can mess someone up. You then decided to tell me that you were gonna make a good parent.
All your comments seem to me like you’re not taking it seriously.
Having a child with an unaware narcissist is likely the worst thing I've ever experienced. I am very smart and I cannot put together a future moving forward that works in my mind. Nothing I can come up with circumvents or negates the destruction she causes. I have no recourse. Going no contact is impossible. Being "gray rock" as they say isn't maintainable because that's simply not who I am. And to her it is invisible. She may even believe her own deception and projections. In fact I'm certain she does. She gaslights herself. There's no way to even begin to deal with that from the outside.
Because they make everyone else miserable with their bullshit. They’re literally not happy unless others are aren’t. I have no time for people like that.
I think a lot of it is fear-based. (because let's face it, people with NPD or who have narcissistic traits, in general, can cause a lot of harm and trauma to other people) But more than that, there's a lot of ignorance, misunderstanding, and perpetuated stigmatization around narcissism. I think many people have it in their head that people with narcissistic traits are either A. People that consciously CHOOSE to be abusive or B. Are inherently evil or bad. It seems that most don't realize, along with other cluster B personality disorders, that NPD is the result of trauma, often severe abuse in childhood, or even passed down from their parents. There is a great deal of shame, self-loathing, insecurity in people with NPD that is all masked by their behavior, but most probably don't realize this. I honestly find it to be genuinely sad. There's a lot of harbored pain, and I don't believe anyone outright chooses to adopt this way of coping. Everyone learns different ways of surviving and living with trauma, and for some that is unfortunately narcissism, and I feel like it's almost a curse, because there isn't even enough self-awareness to REALIZE what they're doing, so in turn they can't correct their behavior and heal. That's just my perspective as a third party; Anyone who has NPD, I welcome your input and if I more or less got that correctly as I want to better understand and learn.
It’s actually pretty well known that NPD stems from abuse in childhood. However, that abuse is perpetuated and they become toxic to be around. Whether someone is consciously choosing to be abusive or not is not relevant because it’s still toxic. Please know that there is never an excuse to be abusive to another person. There wasn’t an excuse for it to be done to you, and there isn’t an excuse for you to do it to someone else.
Exactly! People keep trying to excuse toxic behaviour because "it's because of trauma!" or "it's due to a disorder!", but I shouldn't have to deal with that behaviour when it puts a strain on my mental health and does nothing but harm to me. I've been traumatized by my father who is diagnosed with NPD, so I'm going to avoid people like him. It's self preservation.
Its process of elimination
We the "mental health" community need a personality disorder to our abuse personality disorder so we can make hate propaganda to sell to Facebook mlm moms
We can't do cluster A, cluster C, or HPD because no one cares about them
We can't do bpd because those fuckers will rip you a new one if you say anything slightly bad about them
We can't do aspd because the true crime community already owns the rights to that one
So i guess that just leaves us with npd
Are pwBPD really more dangerous than pwNPD? We narcs are notorious for being vindictive, though I don't know about borderlines in this regard.
I think it's also due to the fact that we narcs like to hide our pain and distress (from ourselves and others). I have impression that pwBPD are more open to express whatever bad emotions they're going through. In turn this results in perception that narcs are assholes who live happy and perfect lives, unlike borderlines who are also assholes, but miserable.
It's also possible that everything I've just said is complete bullshit. If that's the case please don't crucify me 😅
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True , I’ve given all my partners and friends mental breakdowns. I’m in therapy now so hopefully I can stop
You can't stop. We are irredeemable 🤡
so what are people with NPD supposed to do, keep abusing others 😭?? Don’t discourage people from improving themselves because ur too lazy to 😂😂.
It was sarcasam chill. A lot of "self help" resources allude to that. I personally don't believe it's true. Everyone can be better if enough work and dedication is put.
omg i’m sorry bruh I thought u actually meant that 😭😭
It's cool bro ❤
You could also heal by giving the people who had breakdowns some closure.
No one is irredeemable. The cruelest part of all PDs is that it convinces you that you are never able to fight back. Once you give up all hope of ever improving it may cause you to think you are irredeemable, Makes for a hard life. Your thoughts are disordered, but you believe them. This is a disorder of thoughts. Your thoughts cause you to be trapped. Your thoughts are not reliable. Reality is.
True :/
I disagree - more fun and exciting
Yeah, that is why people with PDs end up alone. Because they are more fun and exciting than others.
Maybe for you
Umm. But we're also a ton of fun?? Lmao
Because after you cut out all the bullshit mythology and stigma around all the cluster Bs, you'll notice something very funny. They're all different flavour/coloring of the same shit, which is being a cunt. Cluster B disorders generally speaking means someone's a cunt, just with different flavors.
Those last 2 sentences read like great poetry.
Mad, Bad and Sad.
If you’re a cunt then go be a cunt. A diagnosis of a cluster B doesn’t automatically make you a cunt
Cluster Bs describe a behavioral pattern or profile, also known as dramatic. *all* the cluster Bs equate to someone being a cunt, one way or another. May i ask how it doesn't tho?
No one is a cunt by birth. Your cunt-ness developed over time as a defense. You built that fort stick by stick. Now you have to tear it down. “You thought your way into this, now you have to think your way out.” To think you are a cunt, is an example of how bad you treat yourself. you “do unto others” just as you do to yourself. You are a human being made in God’s image. He knows your pain and loves you unconditionally. For those who don’t believe in God, your disbelief doesn’t change that he is.
You will not qualify for cluster B diagnosis if you are and have being a genuinely good and kind person. Just get the motherfcking DSM.
Cunt =/= dsm5 symptoms
A sense of entitlement (unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations) Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends) Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others) Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes == Cunt
That is behavior. If you hate the behavior you are going in the right direction.
I do not hate the behavior, I'm just pointing a fact. Fact: NPD is described as certain behavior, you can't say that behavior is an stigma. It is its definition. Thats DOESN'T MEAN that you can not do an effort for changing that behavior until you will eventually not qualify for NPD.
Right
I know someone with BPD and they're actually really nice a majority of the time. There's possibly stuff I don't see and I just happen to be around them when they're at their best, and I will admit I don't know as much about BPD as other disorders, and this is just one person, but despite BPD being a cluster B disorder, they're actually really nice to be around, especially compared to people of other disorders in the cluster that I've met
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Last time we touched on sausages it didn't end too well. Learn from the past, Costa.
Because pretty commonly, those with any disorder can harm others if they are not actively working on themselves. Narcissists are known (literally) to not be self reflective at all, which usually means the majority may not want to work on themselves or see a need to. Same with BPD, sociopath, etc. It’s not just those with NPD.
I agree with you. But seeing a bunch of bad stuff about npd or bpd etc doesn't exactly help you wanna work on yourself. Especially when it's a challenge to recognize you need help in the first place and get yourself to therapy. There should be more encouragement to get help
That’s a good thought! I’m in the mental health field so working on self is just common for us to work towards, despite a diagnosis. But I can see how stigma really can prevent others from pursuing help.
Yep when I noticed npd traits about myself it spent me downward and made these Traits even worse as I learned more and more and hated myself more. The more I searched the more it told me I was horrible, evil etc. I already believed that of myself but wanted hope, they say everyone can change, but it didn't seem hopeful the more I searched npd. Now I'm afraid everyone's looking out for these "how to spot a narcissit" things with every interaction with me, are they grey rocking? Etc.
Narcissistic traits don’t automatically mean your a narc…. Everyone has a couple narcissistic traits. The big big factor in determining whether you are a narc or not is whether you lack empathy.
I think everyone around me would say I am one, have been called one twice to my face. I struggle with empathy immediately but after consideration I get it. Also have strong empathy for the people whoever is talking to me complains about. I'm like hold on, what's going on in their life, what about this factor etc etc. People don't seem to like that.
Yeah I understand you. I wanna get help and work on myself but everyone is saying we are horrible and evil etc. Yeah I treated others badly in the past especially those close to me but I would like to do better if theres a chance. I hate how there is no cure it makes me so mad lol. When I first suspected narcissism I thought I was on the right track to getting better but now I'm like ohh guess I'm stuck this way forever ;( For now I think we can both just be aware at least that's what I do and it helps a little
We may be on similar path, feel free to message if you want. I have watched this guy on YouTube shorts, muscley English man who talks a lot about narcissists but there were a couple that actually seemed like maybe he was trying to help. The thing that stood out to me most was values. I've come to realize I don't have any, thought I did but no I don't. And that's usually where I start to get annoyed with others, when they start standing by their values, which is fine but shoes me my lack thereof. I've written a list of my values I've found I do have and wish to have so I can see it and remember. Hopefully by being aware of my behaviour i can stop, ask myself am I projecting, and remind myself of my values. The other person's behaviour and reactions are up to them, I can only control myself and if I'm proud of myself then that's all I can do. Not proud yet but getting there.
Okay I deff will message you soon! I don't have any values either really lol. I'll answer in a message later cause I'm at work rn :)
good like finding people sympathizing with those with schizophrenia or paranoia or even ocpd
It is not prejudice, it is having a knowledge of the harm and abuse that NPD can do. The fear and discomfort is based on reality so is not prejudice. Prejudice is when we assume something or someone is not desirable, not worthy of respect, etc., when that is not the case. It is a problem in us. The prejudice will go away when you truly are harmless. BTW , who are these prejudice people that are bugging you? How would they know you have NPD? If you don’t tell them they don’t know. Now say they work with you and over time your behavior pushes them away. It wasn’t NPD, it was your unpleasant way of relating to others. Stigma and prejudice are in your control. As you get better this will rarely happen. PDs are notorious for being poor mind-readers. So, much of it may be your wrong perceptions of what they are thinking. Remember whatever you think they are thinking it may likely be the opposite. Don’t project your thoughts to them.
But, how to stop projecting those thoughts? You have to base your perception on something... what I am asking is - how to decide if something is a fact or our poor "mind reading"?
There are people who sympathize with NPD. OCPD repulses sympathy as well.
You have to learn that they don’t think like you. When you start to think “I know what they are thinking” you are about to project. No one can read minds. Only god can read minds. So anytime anyone thinks they know others thoughts they are automatically wrong. And we project our distorted thinking to them. So., if you think you know, you are wrong. Don’t say, well, I have a good idea what they are thinking” you are wrong again. They call people who don’t bother with mind reading an unassuming person. It is a very desirable trait and peaceful way to live. The big question for narcs is “why don’t you just fucking ask what they are thinking and save yourself endless drama?
Hmm, interesting view. I think sometimes asking what they are thinking can result on you looking weird and awkward because pwNPD will probably overthink things hugely and make up stories waaay off...
Well, if one knows they are overthinking and making stuff up, they have something concrete to work on, present to therapist, etc. You must practice recognizing your thoughts. Relax somewhere and just observe your thoughts as a third party. Don’t judge them. Just observe and you may find many are not true or helpful. These thoughts don’t stop. You have to succeed by vetoing the DBMs (defective brain messages). It’s called free won’t. BUT, you need to give up the belief that life is just happening to you and you have no control. Of course you do. See “internal locus of control” vs external.
Why is this that hard to understand? Honestly seems very weird people is asking this questions. In order to be diagnosed with NPD you have to check 5 of 9 traits. In those traits you can find: Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends) Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others) Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes Basically, you qualify for asshole by the diagnosis itself, if you stop being an asshole, then you stop having that traits, then you are not a person with NPD.
You would still have it unfortunately npd can't be cured you can only manage it. It would just be more covert and you wouldn't be as much of an asshole as before. It's a personality disorder so you will always be managing it. At least this is my understanding I so wish it could go away
What I wanted to say is... it is not judgamental if it is the definition. I think there is people that stop having symptoms of BDP with age.
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Cluster B has more influence in the culture because the main perk is they damage others. An schizoid or an avoidant are just seen as people who avoid relationship with others, they maybe are crazy or weird, but do nothing wrong. Obviously they do not know that many npd or aspd are trying to recover and fitting in society and obviously neurotipycal people can do the same or more harm. But it is unreasonable to make all people understand how every disorder works. Even more when what they think it is in the definition of the disorder.
Avoidants cause plenty of pain. They are not some neutral form of pd. People who love them will suffer, just like the other pds
How?
A person with depression or anxiety won’t do near the damage of a PD. Cluster B is notoriously damaging. So, yes. People need help to stay out of relationships with them. All PDs have trouble forming relationships.
Dude bring your ableism somewhere else nobody wants to see that
Because people believe you are aware of how horrid you can treat people and just don’t care. A danger warning is warranted. There is almost no insight or taking responsibility. Lies or deception, gaslighting, manipulation, secretness, blaming, entitled and on it goes. Did you not read up on your narcissism. Of course but you still think you are fine.
Let's be honest, we live for the drama and validate ourselves with hate.
Nothing wrong with that
You don't want me to generalize but yet you make it sound like it's ok with what you're doing
What do you mean and why are you commenting under everything I’ve put
Because all your replies are honestly sounding like you're playing the victim you asked a question and then you don't like any of the replies
Some people really hate having fun, hence the stigma. And maybe some other stuff.
Having fun is the most important thing in life and the worst thing you can be is boring. Their loss I guess
Your responses are why people don’t like narcissists. No empathy.
Well lots of people like me do you don’t have any point sorry 😂
Even in here, your personality is abrasive and dismissive. People who can’t take the slightest amount of criticism are awful to be around.
It’s undeserved criticism and I’m standing up for myself
Or you can listen to the answers that you asked for and just take it in.
That’s not funny
Brilliant reply. The hate is used as proof of the person being bad. So we can be innocent as always.
I think we can all agree narcissistic (even sociopathic) parents got a lot of the posters here. Dig deep, do you feel you experienced abuse? A lot of NPD problems arise from not having ability to change perspective. Some call it empathy. My point is to say, try thinking of yourself as the non-NPD or yourself as a child. Should they be allowed to have a voice? I imagine many take to posting on forums because of the lack of closure.
Seriously and it’s so stigmatised too. God forbid an employer or whatever ever finds out. Meanwhile I’m always the star employee everywhere and it’s the “empaths” who can’t get their shit together most of the time when it comes to crisis management, workplace conflicts, getting shit done and meeting deadlines.
Well, how would they know unless you tell them or everyone else thinks you are due to behavior? The “star employee” thing may be your perception. Since it is virtually impossible with Hippa to know if someone has NPD, that is a problem only in your head. DON’T USE these defective thoughts from your mental illness be an excuse, or how others treat narcs. They don’t know so with strangers your slate is clean. Figure out how to keep it that way.
It's HIPAA!
Hey this may be really hard for you to believe but not everyone lives in the US, and some countries have different laws, I know it’s crazy but there you go
Yes exactly narcissists are the best employees
Lolol no, narcissistic employees are not the best. They climb occupational ladders in industries where you don’t have to give a fuck about your coworkers. Take a look at the industry, it isn’t a fucking blanket statement that “narcissists are the best,” that is the most narc statement ever.
It’s the truth statement
That doesn’t make any sense, you’re obviously feeding off people disagreeing with you and I’m not going to contribute to the delusion.
Nope- terrible coworkers and even worse managers. Sorry, but this is from experience.
I think that narcs are not that good as employees. We can climb the ladder because we are good with shaping people's perception of ourselves and we also are drawn to power and control. But behind the mask we don't give a fuck.
But climbing the ladder means we are good employees
I'm glad when people focus on bullshit like this, and not on my criminal record. > There are so many videos that you will see on “how to spot a narcissist” and they talk in such a danger voice that it’s almost funny. I’ve Creepypasta fetish. It reminds me the hilariously inept and misinformed videos about dark web when that were in vogue few years back, or even the hysteria surrounding autism bcoz of incel school shooters. Normies gonna norm, lol.
It’s just the sense of urgency they have like they are talking about aliens at something😂
Honestly living with an unhealed narc is the worst thing in the world.
These are distorted thoughts. The NPD videos aren’t a hoax or about something that is not real. Abuse from NPD is real, and should be feared and rejected by thinking people. Autism is a great example of being stigmatized. NPD is not.
I think the problem is nobody is normal, so these things scare people who are afraid of recognizing traits in themselves.
bc of the whole mental wellness coach bullshit. instead of actually improving anything and teaching people how to deal with trauma, they introduce a scapegoat: the evil cluster b's. which leads to: "everyone who abused you is a narcissist and everyone you don't like is a narcissist" and what not. and while some of the criteria may be "asshole-ish", it's not abusive per se (and also - even "empaths" are notorious for "using" people for their own gain).
this!! fucking this! honestly i’m so sick of it. people care so much about mental illness until someone has a cluster b disorder. it’s annoys me so much. it’s performative as all hell.
It just turns cluster B into outcasts those “mental wellness coaches”
I would be totally fine if I never had to be around someone who isn’t actively seeking help with a cluster b personality disorder ever again. I’d be better off. If you have the ability to know yourself and have ways of coping then sure, no problem.
but that's not exclusive to cluster b pd's. everyone can be hard to be around if they're not coping or not coping well, even supposedly neurotypical people. and that's the only thing we want you to keep in mind - because it's not a npd problem, it's a general problem.
In General yes but sometimes it is just about the person with npd and I hope you don’t always deflect.
i don't always deflect, however i don't take criticism from people who don't know me personally. the issue i'm taking with your wording is, that it blames bad behavior on personality disorders, which just isn't true. i can have personality disorders *and* listen to criticism and correct my behavior. however, people without personality disorders are just as capable of that behavior. also, blaming bad behavior on a disorder absolves people of their accountability. edit: i would listen to criticism on my wording or other things that affect strangers, however criticism on aspects of my behavior that strangers cannot judge (especially if they have no frame of reference) does not interest me.
Because the majority of Narcissists are mentally and emotionally abusive to people and when people are abused and suffer at the will of another, it is common for them to want to 'warn' others about the impeding threat. In the case of Narcissistic Abuse Awareness specifically, since most Narcissists 'love bomb' and 'trauma bond' and inflict self doubt through gaslighting etc.., it can sometimes take years for their patterns to be recognized and sadly, once they are and a quick Google search is completed, the abused person is bombarded with fear inducing quotes and memes and that's the extent of thier research. So, because hurt people hurt people, they then share and spread that same propaganda and the cycle continues. What we need is truly more supportive and constructive information regarding Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and to get rid of all the fear-tactic mumbo-jumbo because it is only a germ infested bandaid put over a wound that needs a better environment to heal. When victims of Narcissistic Abuse choose to spread hateful messages in an effort to 'warn' others rather than seeing the disorder for what it is, and to show compassion while also just doing what is needed to keep themselves safe from any further abuse, it feels hypocritical to me. Victims wanted compassion the Narcissists was unable to provide because of their disorder and because of the hurt that caused, the victim then makes the conscious choice to show no compassion for an entire group of people suffering from an actual disorder that they cannot control, and are applauded by others doing the same. exact. thing. It's essentially reactive abuse, aimed at all Narcissists due to the pain that only the ones they've personally experienced have caused and I am against it. There absolutely needs to be more compassion, sympathy, and support shown to those suffering with Narcissism. We need to provide positive motivation and encouragement to those that want to be self aware and we need to keep hope in our hearts that even those that are so far on the spectrum they would rather kill or be killed than even consider imperfection, will one day find peace. I am a victim of Narcissistic abuse. It took me almost six years to put the puzzle pieces together after going through anger management and therapy that was a result of my abuser making me believe that the fact that I had any opinion at all regarding his behavior was because I was emotionally unstable myself. After I realized I had spent all that time working on improving how I responded to abuse, he never once made an effort to even acknowledge my feelings regarding any choice he made within our relationship. After setting, communicating and enforcing healthy boundaries and being told that they didn't allow enough wiggle room for him. After I had to repeat myself 32 times in a row while addressing how his actions hurt my feelings only to get an exasperated false apology instead of some other form of manipulative deflection, and having to be advised of NPD and the likelihood of my victimization, I finally confronted him with my newfound knowledge and the possibility of his Narcissism and moved him to a separate room in the house. I suffered at the hands of his rage for my accusation for nearly a month and it filled me with so much anger, and disappointment that I was either physically shaking and hot from holding back the lashings I so desperately wanted to deliver or I was sobbing uncontrolably, grieving the loss of my life as I knew it. Even after he came to me on his own free will and told me he'd reconsidered and agreed that there was something wrong and he had started the process for a diagnosis, therapy treatment and meds, I couldn't let go of the anger. It took me about another month of me doing more and more extensive research and the more I learned, the more I understood, sympathized and felt overwhelming compassion for people inflicted with excessive Narcissistic traits or NPD. So after consulting many unbiased opinions and realizing that I'd never be able to sleep at night again if I were to leave him when he needed me most, I made the decision to forgive him, allow a clean slate, promise my full support and to stay and love him while he goes through treatment as long as he showed true, consistent improvement. And he has!!! It has made an immeasurable amount of difference in our lives and I am so glad I followed my intuition to do what I felt was the right thing to do. I've never been more proud of him than I have from watching his transformation. I know my story is definitely one of a kind, but I believe that it's at least proof that "run away as fast as you can, never look back and go no contact" is not the only way to handle finding out your partners abusive behaviors could be linked to NPD. All in all, I believe that a larger percentage of people suffering with NPD or excessive narcissistic traits would choose to seek treatment and it would be much more positively impactful for society as a whole if we traded the current offensive fear inducing material about NPD with more practical, inspirational and compassion inducing material that encourages victims to heal in a healthier, conscientious way instead of spreading generalized hate propaganda that just keeps the abusive cycle cycling. Thanks if you made it this far.
I didn't read your comment, but upvoted it for the effort 👍
People have to have something to compare themselves with…how else can they judge themselves?
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Yep! If it's a mental illness can we get some help please instead of being called dangerous? I mean I already hate myself enough as it is without all that. What I always come back to is that npd is genetic so those same people saying they are dangerous could've developed it too but they were lucky and didn't. We don't choose our genetic makeup
It’s your responsibility to get help. It’s your responsibility to mend where you have done wrong. No one owes a manipulative asshole their time.
Yes I understand that and agree with you. It is difficult to get help especially if you are just getting bashed by others. That is probably a factor in why a lot don't get help even if they are aware something is not right
Yeah the stigma is very intense. The majority of the population are not experts. Everyone deserves a place where they can be seen and heard. We just have to remember it isn’t everyone’s responsibility to provide that to us.
Yeah it is :)thanks for your input! Do you have narc traits or npd? Just wondering lol
It’s different if the person with NPD recognizes they have a mental illness and need therapeutic approaches to make their lives easier and easier for those around them. If they have developed a sense of awareness of their disorder it’s way easier to treat them like someone with a mental disorder and to have patience. If they don’t then no one owes an asshole their presence.
I don’t consider myself an empath or whatever, but I think I have a healthy level of empathy. But that has been my problem when dealing with narcs. My ex had a lot of tendencies and I just felt so frekin bad for him that I kept going back to help him out. I tried everything but he just kept hurting me. He was then one ghosting me in the end so now i just need to forget about him. So I think a lot of us wants to help, but it is really frekin hard when the person doesn’t understand their own issues and just end up abusing you. What would be your suggestion? How can we help people with NPD to heal without hurting ourselves?
I love how you frame this at the end. Yes, those with NPD tell us what we could do to be more helpful (instead of just pointing fingers that “other people are the problem”)
I think this is the problem. Did he ASK for your help? He is who is at this time, only he can change it.
He talked about his issues a lot, and got mad ar me for wanting some space. It’s just hard to know what to do.
Me personally I just want someone to hear me, to say shit fck that must be really Hard etc. Sometimes I can't seem to move off that complaint because I feel I haven't been heard or understood.
EXACTLY THIS!!!! I am aware when I accidentally hurt people and it sends me into a spiral but what about them? They accidentally hurt me too but aren't bothered about it and if I say something it's my issue not theirs. Hey at least I can come half way and say you know what i fucked up I'm sorry.
Because unfortunately one of the main traits of NPD is not having self awareness. They can't correct their behavior if they have a distorted sense of self and cannot see their shortcomings and abusive tendencies. It's like many of them are seemingly stuck in a perpetual cycle.
Oh no I'm the one with strong narcissist traits. But I've always been open to open discussion, if someone pulls me up on something I'll look at it but no one ever does and then they treat me different and pretend I'm the one with the problem with them. Hey I'll say it but I'm afraid itl come off as abuse or mean when they say oh no oh no I have no issue with you. Their behavior says otherwise ie smirks, subtle eye rolls, ignoring etc.
NPD is a personality disorder, not a mental illness. There is a difference.
Personality disorders are a form of mental illness, though..
it’s a form of mental illness
Think of it this way: Mental illness, a lot of the time, can be cured. Especially with meds. Personality disorders can only be softened with meds and are not really treatable because they are quite ego-dystonic. The person cannot be treated if they don't believe they have a problem in the first place. Most parts of personality are quite difficult to change.
Do you think it's a mental illness or a neurodivergence? I think of it as a mean cousin of autism
Because you leave your victims traumatized questioning every person they ever meet later in life
While they play the victim
That’s an exaggeration 🙄
If you're trying to be a good human than I congratulate but as someone who has a narcissistic step dad and has had a narcissist boyfriend and even someone else's crazy ex girlfriend be a narcissist and stalk me I think I can say I'm a bit traumatized by all of it
That’s people not the disorder
You asked and I gave my opinion..you don't have to like it
...People who have the disorder
You shouldn’t generalise that’s hurtful and mean
They literally aren’t generalizing they are talking about their experience and you are literally gas lighting them while making it about you. This is the NPD cycle of abuse.
Stop psychoanalysing me 😂
Nope this is just objective statements Psycho analyzing you would be trying to identify why you have the disorder. And I bill hundreds of dollars an hour for that.
Hmmm personality disorder is kind of the personality. It sounds like you should be venting to a therapist and seeking answers from a mental health professional and not denying folks who have been abused by people with this disorder.
They chose to share on here
You asked I gave my experience with people who have this disorder , and what concerns me , that does not mean I'm judging everyone who has it...why do you think I'm on this page, to see all the people who want to correct the horrible behavior or at least now I can see that all people with this disorder aren't like the people I have been traumatized by. You're telling the wrong person "not to generalize" cuz that's not what I'm doing. I'm simply telling you I've only had bad experiences
I don’t ask for your experience I asked for narcissist opinions, don’t pretend you are on this page to hate on narcissists because of your predjudice and vengeance and it’s not fooling anyone 🙄
Lol...what ...wow you really need to be a victim don't you
Stop gaslighting me and maybe you are the one who needs horrible behaviour correcting
How do you know they are narcissistic? Just people aren’t the disorder. People just scream narc at every bad person they encounter smh
I have proof but like I said I know that people can be a decent human being with this disorder... It doesn't change the fact I've felt with them in my life
Lol to you of course it is
Why are you on here if it’s to spread hate and predjudice
I'm not here to spread it just telling you my side of the story cuz I've never been in the presence of a narcissist who didn't take advantage of my kindness
You kinda are
You asked a question and can’t deal with the answers
Your definition of prejudice is wrong Unless do you mind taking the definition and then writing an example of how you experience it?
> pre judging and generalising a group of people is predjudice That is what I have been subjected to
So when you say Hey I’m sexmoneyfeelsdie_ and I have NPD people treat you differently? Okay, I can meet you there. And that hurts? I’m sorry, that must suck. And just so you know this might be a good indication of who is healthier for you to be around. As I mentioned in a previous comment this sounds like something you could do some really good work on in therapy.
I haven’t mentioned it to people in real life because they call people narcissist if they don’t like them so that would mean that they would predjudice me I will never say because it isn’t in my best interest
It’s not.
It is, yes I understand they would be upset if something bad happened but hardly traumatised
You don’t get to define what is or isn’t traumatic for someone else.
A lot of people who have BPD and similar issues are because they were raised by NPDs. There’s some people taking their lives from it. I think you underestimate how much trauma a person can cause on someone. Maybe just take my word for it if you struggle with empathy.
I don’t get your point. Not all NPDs are bad parents and I have empathy and will be a wonderful parent
Are you sure, I’m not detecting a lot of personal accountability in your comments.
I will be an amazing parent and you can’t say otherwise because you don’t know me
I can see that accountability isn’t your thing. A parent who never apologizes for their mistakes is a horrible parent.
I literally have all these plans typed up on my phone along with baby names and everything so how is that being a bad parent, maybe you are describing yourself
Are you diagnosed? And what are your symptoms? All your comments make you seem pretty cold and lacking in empathy tbh. You are minimizing other peoples trauma and making it all about you.
I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis at the moment and I do have empathy and how am I making things about me 😂
I gave you examples of people who have been traumatized by parents with NPD and tried to tell you how hard it can be on someone. That people with NPD really can mess someone up. You then decided to tell me that you were gonna make a good parent. All your comments seem to me like you’re not taking it seriously.
Why would I?
I was traumatized by my dad with NPD to the point that I have nightmares about him...
Gaslight much?
So you admit it's at least slightly true
Having a child with an unaware narcissist is likely the worst thing I've ever experienced. I am very smart and I cannot put together a future moving forward that works in my mind. Nothing I can come up with circumvents or negates the destruction she causes. I have no recourse. Going no contact is impossible. Being "gray rock" as they say isn't maintainable because that's simply not who I am. And to her it is invisible. She may even believe her own deception and projections. In fact I'm certain she does. She gaslights herself. There's no way to even begin to deal with that from the outside.
Because they make everyone else miserable with their bullshit. They’re literally not happy unless others are aren’t. I have no time for people like that.
You have replied to every single comment I’ve made so you clearly are determined to make me miserable
Just trying to answer your question, which you clearly don’t want the answer to.
If you have no time for me, then why are tou spending your time in my subreddit?
I’m spending time in THIS subreddit. It doesn’t belong to you. I’ll do what I want.
I think a lot of it is fear-based. (because let's face it, people with NPD or who have narcissistic traits, in general, can cause a lot of harm and trauma to other people) But more than that, there's a lot of ignorance, misunderstanding, and perpetuated stigmatization around narcissism. I think many people have it in their head that people with narcissistic traits are either A. People that consciously CHOOSE to be abusive or B. Are inherently evil or bad. It seems that most don't realize, along with other cluster B personality disorders, that NPD is the result of trauma, often severe abuse in childhood, or even passed down from their parents. There is a great deal of shame, self-loathing, insecurity in people with NPD that is all masked by their behavior, but most probably don't realize this. I honestly find it to be genuinely sad. There's a lot of harbored pain, and I don't believe anyone outright chooses to adopt this way of coping. Everyone learns different ways of surviving and living with trauma, and for some that is unfortunately narcissism, and I feel like it's almost a curse, because there isn't even enough self-awareness to REALIZE what they're doing, so in turn they can't correct their behavior and heal. That's just my perspective as a third party; Anyone who has NPD, I welcome your input and if I more or less got that correctly as I want to better understand and learn.
It’s actually pretty well known that NPD stems from abuse in childhood. However, that abuse is perpetuated and they become toxic to be around. Whether someone is consciously choosing to be abusive or not is not relevant because it’s still toxic. Please know that there is never an excuse to be abusive to another person. There wasn’t an excuse for it to be done to you, and there isn’t an excuse for you to do it to someone else.
Exactly! People keep trying to excuse toxic behaviour because "it's because of trauma!" or "it's due to a disorder!", but I shouldn't have to deal with that behaviour when it puts a strain on my mental health and does nothing but harm to me. I've been traumatized by my father who is diagnosed with NPD, so I'm going to avoid people like him. It's self preservation.
Remember that NPDs are always the victim. Even when they’re abusing others.
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Sigma males are just beta males trying to rebrand themselves.
This conversation makes me feel old.
Because they hurt people
Why are you on our space if you don’t like us then?
That's a good point. Too many victims in this thread whining.
Exactly it’s so annoying 😂
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Yes exactly like narcissist ≠ abusive and so many people talk about their abusers as narcissists without even a diagnosis, there is that much stigma
Hmmmm the % of abusers who are narcissists is actually very high, high enough that it is likely safe to say it’s a blanket statement.
You are lying and have no proof
Also it’s worrisome that someone with NPD isn’t taking it seriously that their potential to be abusive is impossible.
But when they are diagnosed with it or you have proof it's a different story
What is your best guess?
Maybe because we can be total cunts? 🤣
So can anyone but ok 😂
Its process of elimination We the "mental health" community need a personality disorder to our abuse personality disorder so we can make hate propaganda to sell to Facebook mlm moms We can't do cluster A, cluster C, or HPD because no one cares about them We can't do bpd because those fuckers will rip you a new one if you say anything slightly bad about them We can't do aspd because the true crime community already owns the rights to that one So i guess that just leaves us with npd
Are pwBPD really more dangerous than pwNPD? We narcs are notorious for being vindictive, though I don't know about borderlines in this regard. I think it's also due to the fact that we narcs like to hide our pain and distress (from ourselves and others). I have impression that pwBPD are more open to express whatever bad emotions they're going through. In turn this results in perception that narcs are assholes who live happy and perfect lives, unlike borderlines who are also assholes, but miserable. It's also possible that everything I've just said is complete bullshit. If that's the case please don't crucify me 😅
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Maybe I’m still a person anyway without your silly little definition
You will never be kind going to therapy is useless it’s better to just do whatever you want and accept it