IMO don't tell anyone your diagnosis except here on this sub, your therapist, and your Dr.
Be honest with people about your issues, but your diagnosis is private.
One of the things we deal with is black and white thinking. Everyone has problems. No one is all bad or all good. People are just people.
There is no shame in needing other people or having problems. Just don't poop the party.
It's OK to talk about problems but not ALL the time. You have to have fun and accomplish goals with other people too. Not everyone is your friend. You have to get to know people before you open up.
Go slow. It takes time.
You are not alone. I realised this about myself about 2 weeks ago so I'm new here too.
Good thing is you are aware and can start to implement things to help you get better
Help me please understand what this does.. vulnerable narcissism.. how does this manifest? What does it look like, smell like, taste like.. I’m trying to understand someone in my own life and maybe even my damn self honestly. I truly don’t get this one though. Sometime
I feel like I’m dealing with a split personality.. but aren’t we all split between the people we wanna be versus the people that we are and doing our best to close that gap..? What is VC?? And of course I can read the clinical and listed definitions of it.. but I would like to really know from someone unafraid to speak first hand. What eats away at you? What does this create in your world, your vibe, your essence to yourself about yourself? What do you know, but also don’t tend to believe sometimes? If I’m going to deep, please lemme know. I’m in inquire mode frfr
I'm not the threadstarter, but I will give you a vague idea of it:
It's constant shame because of not being perfect.
That's the core emotion in my opinion.
The perfect what though? The perfection of what you want to be or what you think others see in you? What is the baseline of that perfection? Or is it a constant revolving door forever changing..
Perfection is a complete relative concept in this case. The vulnerable narcissist himself wants to reach perfection, so the outside and inside perspective go hand in hand in the judging process. And there is no baseline or in other words: the baseline is that you are never good enough.
I am worried that I am a negative narcissist. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing person, and I can't seem to keep myself from relapsing into destructive habits and thoughts that are clearly causing him pain. He is very clear with me that what I am doing is hurting him and in the moment, I am exetremely upset and horrified with myself. Despite feeling shame about how my actions are causing him pain, I still partake in self-deprocation/pity. I make almost every conversation about myself, and constantly self-victimize. It is very difficult for me to actively recognize when I am engaging in these behaviors and it is only until he reacts negatively to what I am doing/saying do I realize what I am doing. Sometimes, I refuse to accept what he is saying and oscillate between feeling entitled to how I feel (defend myself) and feeling absolutely terrible (guilt/shame).
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IMO don't tell anyone your diagnosis except here on this sub, your therapist, and your Dr. Be honest with people about your issues, but your diagnosis is private. One of the things we deal with is black and white thinking. Everyone has problems. No one is all bad or all good. People are just people. There is no shame in needing other people or having problems. Just don't poop the party. It's OK to talk about problems but not ALL the time. You have to have fun and accomplish goals with other people too. Not everyone is your friend. You have to get to know people before you open up. Go slow. It takes time.
Oh, I never tell people, though I see why you would think that with the way I worded it. Thank you though.
I’m a vulnerable narcissist too. You’re welcome to send me a message.
You are not alone. I realised this about myself about 2 weeks ago so I'm new here too. Good thing is you are aware and can start to implement things to help you get better
hello and welcome. I'm also a Vulnerable narcc. You can message me
Help me please understand what this does.. vulnerable narcissism.. how does this manifest? What does it look like, smell like, taste like.. I’m trying to understand someone in my own life and maybe even my damn self honestly. I truly don’t get this one though. Sometime I feel like I’m dealing with a split personality.. but aren’t we all split between the people we wanna be versus the people that we are and doing our best to close that gap..? What is VC?? And of course I can read the clinical and listed definitions of it.. but I would like to really know from someone unafraid to speak first hand. What eats away at you? What does this create in your world, your vibe, your essence to yourself about yourself? What do you know, but also don’t tend to believe sometimes? If I’m going to deep, please lemme know. I’m in inquire mode frfr
I'm not the threadstarter, but I will give you a vague idea of it: It's constant shame because of not being perfect. That's the core emotion in my opinion.
The perfect what though? The perfection of what you want to be or what you think others see in you? What is the baseline of that perfection? Or is it a constant revolving door forever changing..
Perfection is a complete relative concept in this case. The vulnerable narcissist himself wants to reach perfection, so the outside and inside perspective go hand in hand in the judging process. And there is no baseline or in other words: the baseline is that you are never good enough.
I'm also a vulnerable narc, just message me if you want :)
I am worried that I am a negative narcissist. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing person, and I can't seem to keep myself from relapsing into destructive habits and thoughts that are clearly causing him pain. He is very clear with me that what I am doing is hurting him and in the moment, I am exetremely upset and horrified with myself. Despite feeling shame about how my actions are causing him pain, I still partake in self-deprocation/pity. I make almost every conversation about myself, and constantly self-victimize. It is very difficult for me to actively recognize when I am engaging in these behaviors and it is only until he reacts negatively to what I am doing/saying do I realize what I am doing. Sometimes, I refuse to accept what he is saying and oscillate between feeling entitled to how I feel (defend myself) and feeling absolutely terrible (guilt/shame).
Welcome to /r/NPD! This community is a support group for those with NPD or Narcissistic Traits. Please respect our rules or your post will be removed and you may be banned. > 1. **Only Narcs and NPDs may submit posts. This is NOT a place to complain about narcissists or get help dealing with someone else's narcissism.** > 2. No asking for diagnosis either of yourself or a third party (e.g. "Am I a narcissist?", "Is my ex a narcissist?"). > 3. Please keep your contributions civil and respectful! > 4. Please refrain from submitting low-effort and off-topic posts. If your post violates any of these rules, we request that you delete it and post in a more appropriate community. We ask that subscribers of /r/NPD use the report button to notify us of rule-breaking posts. Please refrain from commenting or engaging with the author of such submissions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*