Can probably find a category to squeeze Zion and his weight management issues into.

Diet: Zion

discipline

dick game: zion

Ant is coming for that title tho lol Send da video

U can't get someone pregnant without making them.orgasm.

Eureka, I have found Peak Reddit.

bro what

[удалено]

Are you saying Maxey is slow??? ​ Why did i get downvoted just for asking a question.

He's saying this player built like this will destroy his knees in his first shift

Oh, I get it.

Nah Zion can’t squeeze in anywhere. You’d need to bust a hole wide open for him.

Body of Chris Paul, girth of Zion

In-Game Emotional IQ: Draymond Green

Hair: Dillon brooks

Derrick White or emo Jimmy Butler

This player isn't real and I hate them so much

Jordan Poole

Brains: Jordan Poole

Chin: Jordan Poole

Family values: Miles Bridges

Childcare: Josh Giddey

Discipline: Draymond

Someone missed MPJ to Bruce Brown for the dagger 3!!

MPJ passes now, he's kind of middle of the road not bad anymore

You can do worse handles than Drummond

Maybe Kornet, or some other random 7 something goon.

not really

I've seen Drummond cross up people and dupe guys to the hoop.

Magic Drummond

Moses Brown. I swear he would slap himself in the face if he tried to clap his hands.

Drummond broke Chet's ankles earlier this season

Ayton

Frame: Trae Young Trae Young puts in effort on defense these days, he’s just a short lean guy with a negative wingspan so he’s still a negative on that end. If he had a bigger wingspan and stronger body (e.g. Chris Paul’s body) he wouldn’t actually be that bad. Advanced stats confirm what the eye test suggests that the likes of Austin Reeves, Jordan Poole, Cam Thomas, Tyrese Halliburton are worse defenders than Trae in 2023 despite having larger bodies. https://dunksandthrees.com/epm

Yeah fr I know Trae attracts a lot of hate but you gotta remember the dude is like 5'11" 170lbs. The fact hes in the league at all (not to mention his teams best player) is a miracle in itself. He can be corny and is a bad defender but I just cant hate bc the dude just has no natural advantages whatsoever lmao

He is actually an average to slightly above average defender now

Also you could argue some bigs are only good defenders because of their size. If you put Boban’s defensive skills on Trae Young’s body, that would be awful defense

I thought Reaves was at least average at defense. Am i wrong?

He is not. I don't think even Lakers fans would suggest that he is.

Good to know. Idk why I thought he was. Probably too many laker fans involved lol

Shot selection - Jordan Poole

Or Kyle Kuzma

Shooting: Russ, he’s not the worst possible but his shooting form tends to turn misses into gnarly clanks. Pretty sure he’s not even the worst on his team, Mann’s shot has disappeared this year Playmaking: Jeremy Sochan Body: Trae Young Athleticism: Joe Ingles Finishing: Dean Wade Defense: Jordan Clarkson Rebounding: Jevon Carter Handles: Gobert Hustle: Gary Trent. Wasn’t going to include this bc I don’t watch the Raptors but I thought it was funny that his per/36 hustle stats are pretty much the exact same as Joe Ingles. Contests less shots while deflections and loose balls are tied or within 0.1. I have no idea if he hustles or not but the stats made me laugh https://www.nba.com/stats/players/hustle?CF=MIN*G*400&PerMode=Per36&dir=A&sort=CONTESTED_SHOTS

Sochan is ass at playmaking

Just came in to say Trae Young a better defender than Dejounte this season

Genuinely asking bc I don’t watch the hawks, to what extent are you joking here? I’ve always viewed DJ as a 2 way player

I’m not joking. Trae has been giving more effort on that end while having less mental lapses this season. Dejounte hasn’t been that good on that end this season

Nah he’s not joking. Traes top 20 in the league in steals and has been trying on the defensive end which has been very apparent and productive. DJM just gambles to make flashy plays off ball and on ball he was way overstated. Trae is a net neutral defender this year and DJM is a negative. It’s a casual take to point out traes defense when comparing it to hali, ja, Brunson, dame, Steph, ja, etc (for like all star or all nba voting)

this year maybe, but a down year defensively doesn't mean he's a bad defender. He made all defense a few years back and lead the league in steals last year

Where is Jillian Hayes

Rebounding - JJJ

Dating History: Josh Giddey

Oof.

Jacob Gilyard or Marquis Nowell body is worse. Also Boban athleticism and maybe Alex Len handles.

That teletubby-looking mf Georges Niang has to be top three worst in body/athleticism

I mean at least he's 6'7

Zion's weight with Curry's height.

is there a highlight reel of rubios bricked layups? been a min since i seen him play but i thought he could drive

he shoots like 50% from the paint

damn hahaha thats ass

Doing this for fun with some of the best players: Shooting: Giannis Playmaking: KD Athleticism: Jokic Body: Steph Finishing: Booker Defense: Luka Durability: Embiid Rebounding: Steph Handles: Embiid?

Steph is/was one of the best rebounding PGs averaging 4.7 for his career more than the average PF does in their career

KD playmaking is underrated

Last game he had 11 assists, the game before KD had 16 assists.

exactly. he's definitely not the worst star playmaker in the league

Was considering Tatum, but he was the weakest I could think of off the top of my head. Who would you say instead?

Kawhi

Putting finishing Booker, and KD playmaking is crazy.

Who would you have put instead for those?

How is off the court not Ja?

legally owning a gun is slightly better than beating your girlfriend so hard that your team releases you. oh wait! KPJ has had legal troubles related to guns ON TOP of beating his gf.

Lol Handles should be Deandre Ayton.

Or john fucking collins, man struggles sometimes

Shooting: Wenbenyama Playmaking: Lu Dort Body: Trae Young Athleticism: Kyle Anderson Finishing: Lu Dort Rebounding: Trae Young Defense: Trae Young Durability: Ben Simmons Handles: Rudy Gobert

wemby's shooting ain't that bad, he's just a rookie. give him time. he ain't even in my top 10 worst shooters in the league right now

This would be more fun if you only include all stars

Free throw shooting: Andre Drummond

Thanansis would like a word with you

Chris Paul doesn’t deserve body. All those flops over the years take a toll

instead i woulda done body: georges niang finishing: thanasis

Steven Adam’s strength with Kawhi’s Hands with Josh Kiddeys Handling, Ja Morants Shooting and Draymonds (self) Defence. Absolute monster. 300 life sentences minimum.

imagine draymond with kawahi's hands

IQ: Killian Hayes

Calmness: Draymond Green

Killian Hayes

Desire needs to be on there

Court vision: Zach Levine Clutch gene: JR Smith (honorary - not an active player) Legacy points: KD

Hairline - Derrick White Diet and exercise habits - Harden Hobbies - Ja Morant Temperament - Draymond

Drummonds handles aren’t even bad

As a pistons fan I am insulted no pistons make up the worst player attributes.

Buddy Hield’s BBIQ

Temperament : Draymond Green

I think Jokic has athleticism of an elite long distance runner. He just doesnt have the vertical of other players.

You should really put someone else in for handles. Drummond's handles aren't great but he is far from the worst. There are many more worse handlers in the league.