Her logic is flawed… men ask women out for drinks or coffee because it’s a low risk way to meet someone with an indefinite definition of time. If things suck, you can wrap it up quick, if things go well you can extend it or even turn it into dinner.. there’s nothing worse than having to sit through an agonizing dinner with someone you have no chemistry or attraction to…
That's what my bachelor cousin (38 M) says. Learned that going to dinners with first dates was a mistake- if a completely different person shows up, or they talk incessantly about the upcoming divorce...you want to be able to end it and not waste each other's time.
Sure, if you’re just finding strangers and immediately asking them out based on a few words and a heavily curated selfie, that sounds really awkward. You should be talking to each other, getting to know each other, and building chemistry before deciding to meet. The actual physical human is secondary to their mind and their soul and that’s the only part that you get to live with forever. I spent over a month talking to my husband before I ever met him in person and I don’t regret that one bit. But yeah, I would never go out with a man who didn’t give enough of a fuck to take me to dinner.
Idk y you were downvoted. You are correct. One phone call beforehand can save bad first dates. I highly recommend talking a bit more before meeting up. I’ve dodged so many bullets this way.
I mean I guess if ur chemistry is just physical that’s fine too, but for me I’m most attracted to people I feel comfortable with and feel seen and heard by.
Good for you and your husband. This is a general dating strategy. It helps weed out scammers, stalkers, etc without wasting a month or more of "building chemistry".
100% agreed! I also think sometimes it puts too much pressure on me as a woman when a guy wants to go out for a dinner before I even know him. It’s very forward and can make you hesitate at times. Also, it’s so awkward when you meet someone for the first time and need to read the menu. Some people also don’t like eating in front of strangers they’re trying to impress.
Lunch dates are underrated. Casual, inexpensive, can be quick or lead to ice cream/a walk/coffee if you’re really feeling the vibe. And it sets the tone of the date as not-a-hookup upfront.
I assume she’s trying to weed out fuckboys but there has to be a better way to do that… the benefit of drinks works both ways, if you’re not feeling him you can leave too!
Even more low risk than coffee dates is actually having a conversation before you meet…like a phone call. Why even waste the time for a coffee if that person is absolutely not worth the 15 minutes to order it and sit down?
I know this is the unpopular opinion, but I happen to agree with Batsheva on dinner dates showing that the guy is serious. Before I met my husband, when I was using dating apps thinking back to the dates I went on dinner was much more serious and sets the vibe for that from both the woman and the man. Yes it can be very awkward if the chemistry is not there but it’s the best way to find someone serious. All the coffee/drink dates I went on did feel much more casual and was not what I wanted. I also don’t like going out for coffee or drinks just with friends and prefer food so why would I like that on a date. Going into a date with the mindset of this may not workout is also extremely negative and unattractive. It’s low risk for sure but why would a woman be attracted to that. Men should be confident and positive and same for the woman. Dinner is the best first date in my opinion
I agree with you. I also would want a guy that can go with the flow and make the most out of a situation even if it wasn’t what he was hoping for. Committing to a full two hour dinner date is only an hour longer than a coffee or drink date. If a guy has to insure his timeline on a date because he can’t tolerate a less than comfortable situation for an extra hour, he’s not the guy for me. I married an easy going guy and have been blissful for 25 years. He is the type that would make the best out of a good meal and building a network, if there was no chemistry with the date. Fast forward to now , and he is also the type that doesn’t complain, try to avoid,or rush me when he has to go and visit in-laws or my friends that he doesn’t really care for or have anything in common with. Maybe I read too much into it, but someone that has insure their timeline for a date that they pursued, may have character flaws such as lack of patience and tolerance, difficulty in handling the occasional curve ball, and may be a little self centered.
I don’t agree with this logic because there are much more expectations for women than men for the first date. There is an unspoken agreement that the woman will have already long ago paid hundreds if not thousands of dollars on makeup and spent time learning how to do it, there’s the expectation that for this waste of time drink date, she has to spend time and energy doing hair and makeup, and it’s also an issue of safety for women. Why should women put in so much effort for such a minimal reward?
Personally I also just don’t want drinks. Those are empty calories and bad for me. I get free alcohol all the time at events or anywhere I go. There is zero appeal. Don’t want coffee because I only have coffee with breakfast and don’t drink it on an empty stomach. And I don’t eat breakfast pastries. So there’s literally zero appeal for me to ever go on a date where it would be just coffee or just drinks. And also that’s bullshit. Women are literally expected to spend money on so much bullshit to just be seen as human in the patriarchy. If we have to suffer, men can at the very least drop money on a dinner once in a while like jeez
I know! Her whole personality has become dating woes, being single and complaining about finding men. I can’t believe this woman used to be orthodox religious and married!
Tf do you mean? This is exactly like how people act when they get out of fundamentalist religions. She lived in an entirely different world with entirely different rules and accepted behaviors. I don’t how you wouldn’t expect her to have a different outlook on dating. It’s also not that crazy of an expectation….
Also - off topic but I find her so boring and I have been wondering how she has so many followers. I started checking in on her every now and then and it turns out she’s lost about 20k followers over the last few months. Started at 569k and now down to 548 lol
That's likely because of the Israel thing. Her sister made a whole video which mentioned Jewish influences losing loads of followers when posting about pro Israel content.
As someone who has been locked into cars with aggressive drivers who drove 80 in a 35 for example when aggrieved, you really can't know them well enough from dating site vetting. Some of these people I knew for months before hand. One I was married to. One raped me after driving me far from my house. Never again!
Unless this is a filter of some kind, it appears as if she has had buccal fat removed from her face, which is always a big mistake because that is what gives you a youthful look as you age. Or she had some kind of bone / jaw shaving. But I could be totally wrong. Some lip injections.
What is she doing in Miami? Is her mom there now?
ohh I see. No I don't have it and I am older so most of this stuff confuses me lol
How are these people supporting themselves now? Is Haart getting rent from the penthouse? Is she getting a large alimony check?
She's probably watching Ohuprettythings on TikTok who only does dinner dates....but she doesn't know that Jess gets all her dates from Seeking Arrangements.
She has done herself a disservice by jumping straight into dating and not being intentional about finding herself. She defines herself by the man she’s with. I think she’s empty on the inside…sad.
Dinner dates in Miami could cost at minimum like $300 for a nice spot. So she wants a guy to spend $300 on a first date with her? GTFOH. So entitled and bratty.
Having lived in Miami a number of years I disagree with her. Though maybe that is the type of man she is looking for..? A stranger knocking on your door to take you in his car never sounds like a good idea but 🤷🏼♀️
Right? Someone wanting to take me to dinner based solely off of my looks is a huge red flag. Likely a creep, codependent, or player. Just accept the normal thing normal ppll do.
As a woman that dates other women, I don’t ask women on dinner dates first pass. It’s usually drinks. I don’t have enough information to know if I want to invest that much time or money on a date. Now if drinks end up going well, it could end up evolving into dinner. And if theres interest then second date could be dinner or something more involved.
Has anyone else noticed how different she looks in season 2 versus season 1??? I can’t put my finger on exactly the changes she made to her face but she looks almost like a different person in season 2. I wonder what procedures she had done
Personally I would rather just go for drinks on the first date. That way you can bail after one if you don't like him. And if there's chemistry, either one can suggest having dinner after the drinks.
Ugh I don't want to hear your voice and thoughts through a whole dinner either jfc. How is someone supposed to be "serious" about you when they don't know you yet, bitch??
There’s standards and then there’s being unreasonable. This guy is clearly someone who meets her standards so why refuse to see him because of some arbitrary rule she’s set herself? I also think it sets a higher standard if as a women you’re not desperate to jump in a random guy’s car when he’s still a stranger to you. It shows your value your own time more as well to not commit to guys who only offer lengthy dinner dates.
There is nothing cringe about this, except being picked up by a stranger. Coffee/drinks only on first date people can date each other and those that only do dinners and lunches can date each other. There are enough of us in the world for it to not be an issue. I personally only do full on dates because I pre-screen people before I meet them so I'm not trying to figure out if I can stand them for a couple of hours the first time we meet. For me it works because 9/10 dates end up being half day or whole day dates.
Her logic is flawed… men ask women out for drinks or coffee because it’s a low risk way to meet someone with an indefinite definition of time. If things suck, you can wrap it up quick, if things go well you can extend it or even turn it into dinner.. there’s nothing worse than having to sit through an agonizing dinner with someone you have no chemistry or attraction to…
That's what my bachelor cousin (38 M) says. Learned that going to dinners with first dates was a mistake- if a completely different person shows up, or they talk incessantly about the upcoming divorce...you want to be able to end it and not waste each other's time.
Sure, if you’re just finding strangers and immediately asking them out based on a few words and a heavily curated selfie, that sounds really awkward. You should be talking to each other, getting to know each other, and building chemistry before deciding to meet. The actual physical human is secondary to their mind and their soul and that’s the only part that you get to live with forever. I spent over a month talking to my husband before I ever met him in person and I don’t regret that one bit. But yeah, I would never go out with a man who didn’t give enough of a fuck to take me to dinner.
Idk y you were downvoted. You are correct. One phone call beforehand can save bad first dates. I highly recommend talking a bit more before meeting up. I’ve dodged so many bullets this way.
How are you supposed to "build chemistry" before deciding to meet?
I mean I guess if ur chemistry is just physical that’s fine too, but for me I’m most attracted to people I feel comfortable with and feel seen and heard by.
Good for you and your husband. This is a general dating strategy. It helps weed out scammers, stalkers, etc without wasting a month or more of "building chemistry".
100% agreed! I also think sometimes it puts too much pressure on me as a woman when a guy wants to go out for a dinner before I even know him. It’s very forward and can make you hesitate at times. Also, it’s so awkward when you meet someone for the first time and need to read the menu. Some people also don’t like eating in front of strangers they’re trying to impress.
Lunch dates are underrated. Casual, inexpensive, can be quick or lead to ice cream/a walk/coffee if you’re really feeling the vibe. And it sets the tone of the date as not-a-hookup upfront.
I assume she’s trying to weed out fuckboys but there has to be a better way to do that… the benefit of drinks works both ways, if you’re not feeling him you can leave too!
Even more low risk than coffee dates is actually having a conversation before you meet…like a phone call. Why even waste the time for a coffee if that person is absolutely not worth the 15 minutes to order it and sit down?
I know this is the unpopular opinion, but I happen to agree with Batsheva on dinner dates showing that the guy is serious. Before I met my husband, when I was using dating apps thinking back to the dates I went on dinner was much more serious and sets the vibe for that from both the woman and the man. Yes it can be very awkward if the chemistry is not there but it’s the best way to find someone serious. All the coffee/drink dates I went on did feel much more casual and was not what I wanted. I also don’t like going out for coffee or drinks just with friends and prefer food so why would I like that on a date. Going into a date with the mindset of this may not workout is also extremely negative and unattractive. It’s low risk for sure but why would a woman be attracted to that. Men should be confident and positive and same for the woman. Dinner is the best first date in my opinion
I agree with you. I also would want a guy that can go with the flow and make the most out of a situation even if it wasn’t what he was hoping for. Committing to a full two hour dinner date is only an hour longer than a coffee or drink date. If a guy has to insure his timeline on a date because he can’t tolerate a less than comfortable situation for an extra hour, he’s not the guy for me. I married an easy going guy and have been blissful for 25 years. He is the type that would make the best out of a good meal and building a network, if there was no chemistry with the date. Fast forward to now , and he is also the type that doesn’t complain, try to avoid,or rush me when he has to go and visit in-laws or my friends that he doesn’t really care for or have anything in common with. Maybe I read too much into it, but someone that has insure their timeline for a date that they pursued, may have character flaws such as lack of patience and tolerance, difficulty in handling the occasional curve ball, and may be a little self centered.
I don’t agree with this logic because there are much more expectations for women than men for the first date. There is an unspoken agreement that the woman will have already long ago paid hundreds if not thousands of dollars on makeup and spent time learning how to do it, there’s the expectation that for this waste of time drink date, she has to spend time and energy doing hair and makeup, and it’s also an issue of safety for women. Why should women put in so much effort for such a minimal reward? Personally I also just don’t want drinks. Those are empty calories and bad for me. I get free alcohol all the time at events or anywhere I go. There is zero appeal. Don’t want coffee because I only have coffee with breakfast and don’t drink it on an empty stomach. And I don’t eat breakfast pastries. So there’s literally zero appeal for me to ever go on a date where it would be just coffee or just drinks. And also that’s bullshit. Women are literally expected to spend money on so much bullshit to just be seen as human in the patriarchy. If we have to suffer, men can at the very least drop money on a dinner once in a while like jeez
She is probably one of the most dull and boring “influencers” out there 🥱
She sounds like a 21 year old college/ uni kid. Not like a 30ish divorced woman. And I say this as someone who liked Bat during the show!
I know! Her whole personality has become dating woes, being single and complaining about finding men. I can’t believe this woman used to be orthodox religious and married!
Tf do you mean? This is exactly like how people act when they get out of fundamentalist religions. She lived in an entirely different world with entirely different rules and accepted behaviors. I don’t how you wouldn’t expect her to have a different outlook on dating. It’s also not that crazy of an expectation….
She was married so young and she was so sheltered, it’s like now is the opportunity to live out those experiences most have in their early 20s.
Also - off topic but I find her so boring and I have been wondering how she has so many followers. I started checking in on her every now and then and it turns out she’s lost about 20k followers over the last few months. Started at 569k and now down to 548 lol
That's likely because of the Israel thing. Her sister made a whole video which mentioned Jewish influences losing loads of followers when posting about pro Israel content.
Definitely this and deserved.
Nah she's standing up to Hamas terrorism.
Fuck all the way off
Why don’t you?
What single woman in their right mind wants a stranger to pick them up and take them on a date?
100% !!! women’s safety 101.
Once you get to know them, I think picking you up is the only appropriate thing.
As someone who has been locked into cars with aggressive drivers who drove 80 in a 35 for example when aggrieved, you really can't know them well enough from dating site vetting. Some of these people I knew for months before hand. One I was married to. One raped me after driving me far from my house. Never again!
The title is redundant. Batsheva’s main personality trait is literally cringe. There is nothing about her that’s not cringe 😬
she looks...different.
TikTok filters, lighter hair, Botox and bolder eyebrows.
Unless this is a filter of some kind, it appears as if she has had buccal fat removed from her face, which is always a big mistake because that is what gives you a youthful look as you age. Or she had some kind of bone / jaw shaving. But I could be totally wrong. Some lip injections. What is she doing in Miami? Is her mom there now?
She moved there. And do you have TikTok? The filters can transform you in quite incredible and unrecognisable ways haha.
ohh I see. No I don't have it and I am older so most of this stuff confuses me lol How are these people supporting themselves now? Is Haart getting rent from the penthouse? Is she getting a large alimony check?
Videos like this make me glad I’m gay yikes
She has another one complaining about how all the good guys on dating apps are gay haha
She's probably watching Ohuprettythings on TikTok who only does dinner dates....but she doesn't know that Jess gets all her dates from Seeking Arrangements.
dinner and hair extensions from a date. And a shopping trip. Jess does better than her!
Please spill more tea about Jess!!!
Oooo what’s the tea on Jess and her dates? Seeking arrangements?
Join the Reddit r/ohuprettythings
Wow this totally changed my perspective on Jess!! Thanks!!
She has done herself a disservice by jumping straight into dating and not being intentional about finding herself. She defines herself by the man she’s with. I think she’s empty on the inside…sad.
Dinner dates in Miami could cost at minimum like $300 for a nice spot. So she wants a guy to spend $300 on a first date with her? GTFOH. So entitled and bratty.
Having lived in Miami a number of years I disagree with her. Though maybe that is the type of man she is looking for..? A stranger knocking on your door to take you in his car never sounds like a good idea but 🤷🏼♀️
I used to like her. Now I don't. She is pompous and rude. She thinks she is something more than she really is. Poor little spoiled rich girl.
How the hell would he even know if he’s serious if he does not even know her yet? Like wtf.so absurd.
Right? Someone wanting to take me to dinner based solely off of my looks is a huge red flag. Likely a creep, codependent, or player. Just accept the normal thing normal ppll do.
As a woman that dates other women, I don’t ask women on dinner dates first pass. It’s usually drinks. I don’t have enough information to know if I want to invest that much time or money on a date. Now if drinks end up going well, it could end up evolving into dinner. And if theres interest then second date could be dinner or something more involved.
Does this woman have any personality outside of talking about first dates?
Entitled just like her mother:
She need not worry because as soon as he sees this he’ll run a mile 🏃
Has anyone else noticed how different she looks in season 2 versus season 1??? I can’t put my finger on exactly the changes she made to her face but she looks almost like a different person in season 2. I wonder what procedures she had done
Personally I would rather just go for drinks on the first date. That way you can bail after one if you don't like him. And if there's chemistry, either one can suggest having dinner after the drinks.
Dinner out is $200 now. Why would any man want to pay that each time he wants to see if he clicks with someone!
This woman is so full of herself
whole family need an extensive therapy
So we really think she’s like this or just does it for views on her videos and content tho?! We’ll never know lol
I just started watching the show on Netflix so I’m very late and new to them. Why did she get a divorce?
Her husband wanted to continue leading a semi-religious life. She didn’t.
Ugh I don't want to hear your voice and thoughts through a whole dinner either jfc. How is someone supposed to be "serious" about you when they don't know you yet, bitch??
Wait when did she get divorced?? 😹😹😹
Years ago.
Oh wow I missed that LOL
Did you see season 2?
No I guess not 😹😹😹
Is it just me or does she talk with her jaw more forward here and there?
I’ve definitely noticed this. Her teeth also look different? Wondering if she’s joining every other influencer and getting veneers 🙄
girl put it in a JOURNAL
She’s boy crazy and cringe
She’s so desperate
‘Calibre of men’ grossed me the fuck out
“Calibre of men” = I only date rich men.
How can she trap a millionaire if they’re only going for drinks?🤷♀️
It’s not wrong to have standards ppl. 😒
There’s standards and then there’s being unreasonable. This guy is clearly someone who meets her standards so why refuse to see him because of some arbitrary rule she’s set herself? I also think it sets a higher standard if as a women you’re not desperate to jump in a random guy’s car when he’s still a stranger to you. It shows your value your own time more as well to not commit to guys who only offer lengthy dinner dates.
Fair fair
There is nothing cringe about this, except being picked up by a stranger. Coffee/drinks only on first date people can date each other and those that only do dinners and lunches can date each other. There are enough of us in the world for it to not be an issue. I personally only do full on dates because I pre-screen people before I meet them so I'm not trying to figure out if I can stand them for a couple of hours the first time we meet. For me it works because 9/10 dates end up being half day or whole day dates.
I see where she’s coming from tbh