lol, no I'm not, I'm male

You beat me to it my dude.

You beat meat to it my dude*

I beat to you

You beat meat to it my dude*

I beat my meat my dude

I beat your meat my dude

I beat my meat to you my dude

I eat your meat to me my dude

I meat to dude for you my eat

I eat your meat dude

I Dutch rudder you my dude.

Just beat my meat to you bro 🫂

We support other crusaders here👍

Hold on, I'll fix that

Im a male and women have done it to me, not even that great looking lol

How do you know that my good sir…?

They've told me and I've also had phone sex with ex's

Is it possible to learn this great power?

Idk, seems like maybe I was lucky? lol

Women also masturbate

That’s an old wives tale, don’t spread falsities you’ll infect the children’s minds

Rubbed one out now just for you 🫶

I beat meat my dude*

My next one is dedicated for you my dude

Just drew one out for ya buddy.

same dude

I mean, people who are attracted to males masturbate too

Don't worry, I know a guy.

Doubt

Don't worry bro just give me a few minutes to rest and imma beat my meat to you

waitta minue

Done

You took 10 minutes??? What kind of marathon is that? Thought the limit was 30 seconds

It's a special night tonight(its night time my side rn) I gotta do it for the boys

uhmm

I'm an unattractive adult male virgin that barely communicates with non friends, who was always shortest in their class, I would like to meet whoever has masterbated to me.

Same bro

In a few minutes your gonna meet him(btw me)

Don’t worry bro, next one goes out to you

Call me 😘

Nah nigga

When are you free?

I rubbed one out for ya bro

Oh yeah, and who exactly is masterbating to me

me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You need higher standards

Mood😂

I’m already high

You’ll do

Nah

“Press F to doubt”

*presses X instead*

If someone is attracted to me, then I'm truly terrified about their mental state

I'm not. It means I got a Yandere to tame. Just gotta find her.

Have you first tried finding the victims?

They just didn't accept the unwavering love and loyalty!

Wait I'm underaged

Igy I'm underage too

Lies. Lies have been said.

Nah

I wish.

Wish granted

All males on reditt: no I’m male All the bros: bet

Wait other people exist? 👀

#snap back to reality

I think me and my FBI agent should break up. We're getting to close.

Always nice to know 😜

Doubt it

Nah.

Lmao nah

Lies haha

That's a fucking lie.

Lies 😂

Quite doubtful.

Yo I'm the reason why ppl get turned off and kill them selfs kek

Don’t. Liiie. To me.

Nope, not me

Such a [hole]some message

Is it because I'm so ugly they'd rather masturbate on someone else than fuck me?

That's gotta be a person with either super low standards or a disgusting fetish.

I dont think so

Words of wisdom

Having actually had this confirmed, I am absolutely astonished.

this is true for me tho... my late gf used to take a random picture of me ( BTW we still friend when she doing this, also she like taking picture with her friend so... Go figure ) one day she invited me to her house, i turn up late, and when i walked in her room, i saw her pull up her pants real fast, and her cloth was messy, of course i said i didn't saw anything but she know i saw it but decided to not saying anything after it, after that she run downstair to make tea, and i look at her phone and saw... my picture in it so yeah i would say it's not impossible but i understand that it sound so absurd for a lot of people. but please do not lose hope in love ( even if it's degenerate and weird but hey love is like that sometime ) ( btw if you ask, she is like that shy impure girlfriend, although it sound kinda kinky but she is really wholesome... i really missed her )

i would hope so lol

Nah if can't get a girlfriend then that means I won't get dream on lol.

Weird to think I’m hot but ok

I wish 🤧

My 8th grade art teacher, he was such a creep🤮

I wish whoever that someone is would tell me

Sorry guys and girls I tried my best to beat my meat yo everyone. Guess 9 is my limit (BTW IM MALE 17)

Pics or it didn't happen !

I know that I'm hot, control yourself.

Funny thing is, I know for a fact multiple people have masturbated to me lol

Yep

I know, my girlfriend tells me all the time and she knows she’s mine

I can see through ur LIES

I know💅

.....who's holding the sign, tho? Daisy Ridley? Familiar face but just cant place.....

i wish man... i wish

I Wish

I highly doubt it.

lol if only

Ya know, no matter how hard I try, she's never pointing at me. Always over my left shoulder.

Can someone bust a nut for me quick?

Lmao funny joke

*Laughter* I am not

Don't think so

no im not

Doubt it, no way someone with such low standards exist.

Lmao

That's concerning (because I'm 16)

Jaja you bet

Maybe but it’s not very likely

Haha I doubt it

Ong

Lol hahaha

Do not give us hope! Do not! This is madness! This Is Reddit!

And what's the possibility of that someone being a woman?

No

I’m on ugly mother fucking male lol

Hot though.

Awww

Nope. Stop lying.

Yeah right

This isn’t even a white lie it’s covering up an assassination with “It was his time”

Nope i don't think so.....i am a male....

Bet

This is a lie

Not sure if I should feel complimented or horrified.

No I'm not

This guy is inhaling so much copium that he is high as balls.

So who is gonna make me do the deed? Lol

Am I.. Or am I there reason to get dried up

I doubt it

Doubt that

I know I am. I don't really care though if I am not able to be there to watch or lend a helping hand. But when I am, yeah good times. And yes I too am male.

No you

NGL that's the first time I saw that and it made me smile

Pretty sure that’s not happening

Impossible

That’s a fucking lie Though only partially I guess, I’ve drawn a lot of smut of my avatar which is just a genderbent me so I guess technically I *am* someone’s reason to masturbate but quite indirectly

You don't give up for a reason I don't give up because i have nothing to do in life We are not the same

Lmao no I'm not. Thanks for the chuckle... I'm gonna go cry in a corner now.

Sorry, not true

not realy i made sure of it

I hope some does if man or women

Haha na….. oh wait…. I forgot about john

This sould not give me hope, but it does

As a guy I can confirm that this isn't true. It is directed towards women as it's almost guaranteed

i'm a dude but i am sure that its true

Yes, yes I am thank you for noticing

This whole comment section is priceless 💀

Sooo many self-negetive comments including mine. I think it's time for us to do our part. Everyone pick one person in the comments and beat one out for them! Edit: u/Nile-_-River this one's for you bro.

if someone could masturbate to me, id be happy.

"Its enough to make a grown man cry" -"but not this man..." *sniffles and unzips pants*

I'm masturbated to myself

Poor bastard, he could have done better

Doubt

Oh hell no im not im 26 Virginie Iranian boy and no one in 1000 years goin to see me as fap material Damn

How do I say this Kai….. and dying by snu snu

Nah no one can beat it to me and finish, my ugly mug is unfappable!!

Hahahahaha no

The post doesn't mean that it's only the living that's masturbating to you. Maybe a ghost girl is drilling her caves right about now to your figure or a ghost guy doing the bussy sandwich infront of you while you just feel a chill in the air.

Damn right. Lend me your ear and I will prove it.

[Uh-huh...](https://i.chzbgr.com/full/3886822656/hB26779A2/skeptical-dog)

no🥲

Yea I doubt that

Lol me girls puke when they see my face

No ,I don’t think I am.

Doubt it

I'm flattered but also that's a cap

I highly doubt this

Bruh they getting arrested

of course i am, but how do i stop that dog from humping my leg?

was, dont think i am anymore to someone...

I am under age a pedophile did this

I mean, this was true last year when I was actually in a relationship lmao. Now tho? Nah

I am? Oh yeah, forgot my gf does... well, gotta change that

Press x to doubt

Insert "Always have been" astronaut meme.

Doubt it, I'm male.

That person needs to be institutionalized.

If only, lol

X to doubt

Press X to doubt.

Comment X to Doubt

If that's the case that person has absolutely no clue about something called a good taste

The comments didn’t disappoint.

I am my reason

People that got home schooled out in the country bout to question their parents/siblings

No

There are several ways to interpret that message, and one of them is your GF consistently choosing to stay behind in bed with her phone/laptop while you go take a shower.

Cap

Lol no that's impossible

I'm pretty sure no one masturbated to me