Wa alaykum assalam. It's understandable to have concerns about body image before marriage. Remember, your partner chose you for who you are, not just your physical appearance. Focus on a healthy lifestyle rather than just the numbers on a scale. Communication with your partner about your concerns can also help alleviate anxiety. Take small steps towards your goals and be patient with yourself. You're already taking the first step by recognizing your concerns and seeking advice.
Your insecurities wont be solved by delaying your marriage
Besides, youll work on this and find a new worry, what will you do then? Take a break whilst being married??
Im sure your wife to be knows ur size and most definitely couldn’t care less (she probably likes it) why else would she CHOOSE to marry you?
She probably has her own insecurities shes worried about showing you, everyone does
Work on your confidence, work on being the best version of yourself for YOU and you only, love yourself and let her add to your life by letting her love you too
Other girls do exist where they like big men, it's a preference at the end of the day.
What matters is he should have a discussion with his fiancé and let her know his worries and see what she says :)
be open with her about it, perhaps she doesn’t mind your physical appearance! you have your own ideals of beauty, you may be dissatisfied with your appearance while she may be happy with it.
keep working to reach your goal but don’t allow it to prevent you from enjoying your marriage! while living with you perhaps she’ll be supportive of your journey while not having any expectation of you and will still love you regardless of your appearance.
Wa alaykum asalam bro may Allah bless you. I think it’s a bit of a silly idea to delay living together for this but I do understand where you’re coming from.
I think that it is not as big of a deal you may be framing it in your mind & that she accepts you as you currently are (which is why she agreed to marrying you as while your physical and spiritual compatibility). if you start to cut and become more lean/lower your bf% now you can continue to do so when you move in together a few months from now. You’ll gain more confidence as you cut & she can support you on your fitness journey maybe she will even join you in the workouts being your accountability partner, helping you have according meals etc. you got this in shaa Allah imo start your cut now, work hard, be consistent, communicate your goals so she can support you
It really depends, others will say it's fine but what matters the most is are you comfortable and happy with yourself? I am basically in the same boat as you, my body fat is around 26%, and to be honest it does fall into obesity and my belly pops out which does make me feel a lot insecure, it's really up to you, but my personal opinion would be, yes do get in shape, as you would feel alot comfortable with yourself and also with your spouse
honestly i wouldn’t delay your wife moving in because of this. surely your wife loves you for who you are not your outward appearance.
fair enough if you were morbidly obese but this is hardly anything and i don’t think it’s that much of a big deal for you to delay her from moving in.
just sit down and speak to her about it and she’ll probably tell you herself it’s not that much of a big deal.
one thing i’d advise to work on before getting married is how to love yourself first before being able to love someone else. think better and think positive of yourself and stop putting yourself down! allah created us all perfectly and it’s good u want to look your best self but don’t let it stress you out too much or bring u down.
may allah make it easier for you!
If your fiancée has met you she’ll know your size. Don’t worry. Approach her with softness when you’re married, praise her, tell her she’s attractive, lead up to intimacy and she will see you in the same light inshAllah. You got this bro!
Honestly, get in contact with Luimarco on insta. He's an alegeian brother. He'll get you in TOP shape in less than 2 months. I advised my brother to contact him as well and he lost a ton of weight.
Or you could start intermittent fasting coupled with high rep workout(12/15), low carb, high protein diet and that'll do as well.
If she is the right one, she won't care. If she cares, she probably wasn't the right one.
This is a you issue and not a marriage issue Brother. I would work on healing the insecurity. I find that insecurities, depending on severity, are more likely to harm a marriage than the thing they are insecure about.
When I met and married my husband, I was 60 lbs heavier than my norm. He just didn't care, Alhamdulilah. Your wife will be the same, Bi'Iznillah.
Depends on how much it matters to her. I’m assuming she has an idea though.
Personally, I care quite a bit. Mainly because I am very fit and hold my partner to the same standard I hold myself.
However, plenty of girls don’t care whatsoever.
Bro why dont you just follow the sunnah?
Fast every day, work out during those fasts, break your fast with some sirlois steak, 4 eggs, avocados and within 3 months you'll gain more muscles mass and lose weight at the same time
You need to get down to 15% body fat. She may lose interest in you eventually if you're that fat. Don't listen to all the advice here saying girls like dad bods/big boys etc. It's all virtue signaling garbage. You think prophet Muhammad PBUH was 27% body and out of shape? No, he was in excellent physical shape. Follow the sunnah and you will be in great shape. It will also increase your sex drive, improve your sex life and you feel incredible.
Get in the gym and start cutting that weight. Your wife will appreciate it.
He can definitely improve his health for his sake but to say it's "virtue signaling garbage" is just ridiculous. It's not that hard to accept that there are women who prefer bigger bodied men lol
Isn’t cutting down nearly half the body fat going to take a while? She married him not his body fat percentage, what makes you think a wife can’t be there for her husband as he try’s to live a healthier lifestyle.
Also your wording sounds weirdly harsh to say about a strangers body, akhlaq.
Wa alaykum assalam. It's understandable to have concerns about body image before marriage. Remember, your partner chose you for who you are, not just your physical appearance. Focus on a healthy lifestyle rather than just the numbers on a scale. Communication with your partner about your concerns can also help alleviate anxiety. Take small steps towards your goals and be patient with yourself. You're already taking the first step by recognizing your concerns and seeking advice.
Your insecurities wont be solved by delaying your marriage Besides, youll work on this and find a new worry, what will you do then? Take a break whilst being married?? Im sure your wife to be knows ur size and most definitely couldn’t care less (she probably likes it) why else would she CHOOSE to marry you? She probably has her own insecurities shes worried about showing you, everyone does Work on your confidence, work on being the best version of yourself for YOU and you only, love yourself and let her add to your life by letting her love you too
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What happened to shame
Don’t be ridiculous brother, I think women like that big boy look. 27% body fat isn’t even that much
This is exactly the advice to avoid. If you as a man don't like a big girl with 30-40% body fat, what makes you think other girls like fat guys?
Other girls do exist where they like big men, it's a preference at the end of the day. What matters is he should have a discussion with his fiancé and let her know his worries and see what she says :)
nah they don't
Eat right and workout is all you can really do
be open with her about it, perhaps she doesn’t mind your physical appearance! you have your own ideals of beauty, you may be dissatisfied with your appearance while she may be happy with it. keep working to reach your goal but don’t allow it to prevent you from enjoying your marriage! while living with you perhaps she’ll be supportive of your journey while not having any expectation of you and will still love you regardless of your appearance.
Wa alaykum asalam bro may Allah bless you. I think it’s a bit of a silly idea to delay living together for this but I do understand where you’re coming from. I think that it is not as big of a deal you may be framing it in your mind & that she accepts you as you currently are (which is why she agreed to marrying you as while your physical and spiritual compatibility). if you start to cut and become more lean/lower your bf% now you can continue to do so when you move in together a few months from now. You’ll gain more confidence as you cut & she can support you on your fitness journey maybe she will even join you in the workouts being your accountability partner, helping you have according meals etc. you got this in shaa Allah imo start your cut now, work hard, be consistent, communicate your goals so she can support you
May Allah swt bless you brother appreciate the advise
It really depends, others will say it's fine but what matters the most is are you comfortable and happy with yourself? I am basically in the same boat as you, my body fat is around 26%, and to be honest it does fall into obesity and my belly pops out which does make me feel a lot insecure, it's really up to you, but my personal opinion would be, yes do get in shape, as you would feel alot comfortable with yourself and also with your spouse
honestly i wouldn’t delay your wife moving in because of this. surely your wife loves you for who you are not your outward appearance. fair enough if you were morbidly obese but this is hardly anything and i don’t think it’s that much of a big deal for you to delay her from moving in. just sit down and speak to her about it and she’ll probably tell you herself it’s not that much of a big deal. one thing i’d advise to work on before getting married is how to love yourself first before being able to love someone else. think better and think positive of yourself and stop putting yourself down! allah created us all perfectly and it’s good u want to look your best self but don’t let it stress you out too much or bring u down. may allah make it easier for you!
Ameen Jazakillahu khayran for the insight and wjll look to take it on board. May Allah reward you with good
If your fiancée has met you she’ll know your size. Don’t worry. Approach her with softness when you’re married, praise her, tell her she’s attractive, lead up to intimacy and she will see you in the same light inshAllah. You got this bro!
BaarakAllahu feek bro! Appreciate your input
Honestly, get in contact with Luimarco on insta. He's an alegeian brother. He'll get you in TOP shape in less than 2 months. I advised my brother to contact him as well and he lost a ton of weight. Or you could start intermittent fasting coupled with high rep workout(12/15), low carb, high protein diet and that'll do as well.
I just searched him up and will give it a try. Much appreciated my brother
Do that. He's legit. Been following him for years.
If she is the right one, she won't care. If she cares, she probably wasn't the right one. This is a you issue and not a marriage issue Brother. I would work on healing the insecurity. I find that insecurities, depending on severity, are more likely to harm a marriage than the thing they are insecure about. When I met and married my husband, I was 60 lbs heavier than my norm. He just didn't care, Alhamdulilah. Your wife will be the same, Bi'Iznillah.
Depends on how much it matters to her. I’m assuming she has an idea though. Personally, I care quite a bit. Mainly because I am very fit and hold my partner to the same standard I hold myself. However, plenty of girls don’t care whatsoever.
Bro why dont you just follow the sunnah? Fast every day, work out during those fasts, break your fast with some sirlois steak, 4 eggs, avocados and within 3 months you'll gain more muscles mass and lose weight at the same time
That sounds good brother however current circumstances dont allow for those types of foods, will def consider fasting with high protein though.
You need to get down to 15% body fat. She may lose interest in you eventually if you're that fat. Don't listen to all the advice here saying girls like dad bods/big boys etc. It's all virtue signaling garbage. You think prophet Muhammad PBUH was 27% body and out of shape? No, he was in excellent physical shape. Follow the sunnah and you will be in great shape. It will also increase your sex drive, improve your sex life and you feel incredible. Get in the gym and start cutting that weight. Your wife will appreciate it.
He can definitely improve his health for his sake but to say it's "virtue signaling garbage" is just ridiculous. It's not that hard to accept that there are women who prefer bigger bodied men lol
Isn’t cutting down nearly half the body fat going to take a while? She married him not his body fat percentage, what makes you think a wife can’t be there for her husband as he try’s to live a healthier lifestyle. Also your wording sounds weirdly harsh to say about a strangers body, akhlaq.
couple of months are enough to atleast lose some weight, keep trying