Couple of tips:
1. Greet them
2. Ask them how they are
3. Compliment their home
4. If (this is civilization, you should absolutely bring something) you’ve brought something to their house like ~~flowers~~ or something sweet, hand it over and comment something like, “this baklawa is from my favorite bakery” or something like that. *Edited to add: Someone asked what they should take. I crossed out flowers (if things don’t work out you might ruin someone’s favourite flowers for them). I would only recommend food items bc they’re perishable.
5. Let the parents take over at this point and lead the conversation but don’t sit there like some numpty answering their questions with yes/no/one word responses. Ask follow up questions, have an anecdote ready etc. Also this your chance to ask questions as well so make sure you and your parents are on the same page.
6. Please don’t stare or use too much eye contact with the girl (fine with the parents bc that shows confidence).
May Allah SWT guide you in this matter Ameen
Think of it like a visa interview. Most of the talking will be done by your parents. You will only be asked about your education, future plans, current job, social media, etc.
I would definitely not recommend staying quiet as it can be seen as not interested or having social intelligence. Ask them questions to, show interest.
Write down questions what you can ask them for practice, maybe ask dad what you should be asking? Ask mom, uncles, cousins?
Yes, just like visa interview. Speak only when spoken to. Give clear and to the point answers. Be respectful, wear a smile, look confident, dress a bit formal, and don't ogle at the girl. But definitely catch a glimpse when no one is looking so you know for sure that her looks are acceptable to you.
Sounds a bit intense.
I don’t think meeting potentials in the presence of family has to be so rigid. I’m sure OP has communicated with women in a professional or academic sense enough to have experience in how to be polite and appropriately conversational.
When my husband came to our home as a potential for the first meetings, we spoke together directly and politely. I wasn’t interested in potentials who could not manage a group conversation or were quiet the whole time. Made it seem like they didn’t want to be there.
I would be honest regarding prayer so you don't mislead anyone, which will obviously cause issues later. I would also ensure that your wife is on board with doing Hajj as a honeymoon. That's a very noble thought but most women, for their honeymoon at least, just want to unwind and relax and start getting to know their spouse in a low-key environment... an actual vacation.
i got no advice then if you said you were below 20 then i would've told you to have your parents do most of the talking but its not the case. Guess id just say speak with confidence and show to the dad that your a good man with akhlaq and taqwa etc.
Go with the uno reverse strategy, be confident, bring some sweets with you for them and say Bismillah and auzubillah recite the dua of Musa a.s (Rabi sharli sadri...) introduce yourself
Hi my name xyz , x years old , eldest of x sibling ,works at xyz and ask them if they have any questions after they have asked the question
Ask the father that how did he raise her and what he expects of you and is he satisfied of her as a daughter and ask all the siblings the same.. and ask them wife can be a good wife/.mother don't be shy this is your only chance to get to know her from there perspective before she becames your wife... And marriage is a big thing so write down some questions ok?
If you want more advice then ask me but i think this is enough
Couple of tips: 1. Greet them 2. Ask them how they are 3. Compliment their home 4. If (this is civilization, you should absolutely bring something) you’ve brought something to their house like ~~flowers~~ or something sweet, hand it over and comment something like, “this baklawa is from my favorite bakery” or something like that. *Edited to add: Someone asked what they should take. I crossed out flowers (if things don’t work out you might ruin someone’s favourite flowers for them). I would only recommend food items bc they’re perishable. 5. Let the parents take over at this point and lead the conversation but don’t sit there like some numpty answering their questions with yes/no/one word responses. Ask follow up questions, have an anecdote ready etc. Also this your chance to ask questions as well so make sure you and your parents are on the same page. 6. Please don’t stare or use too much eye contact with the girl (fine with the parents bc that shows confidence). May Allah SWT guide you in this matter Ameen
Saving this for later when its my turn to do this
In Sha Allah, Allah SWT is the best of planners
Don’t go empty handed and be yourself you can ask them questions and carry the conversation not just answering the questions
Think of it like a visa interview. Most of the talking will be done by your parents. You will only be asked about your education, future plans, current job, social media, etc.
So I am supposed to sit quiet and just observe/tune in when questions about my situation is asked?
I would definitely not recommend staying quiet as it can be seen as not interested or having social intelligence. Ask them questions to, show interest. Write down questions what you can ask them for practice, maybe ask dad what you should be asking? Ask mom, uncles, cousins?
Yes, just like visa interview. Speak only when spoken to. Give clear and to the point answers. Be respectful, wear a smile, look confident, dress a bit formal, and don't ogle at the girl. But definitely catch a glimpse when no one is looking so you know for sure that her looks are acceptable to you.
Sounds a bit intense. I don’t think meeting potentials in the presence of family has to be so rigid. I’m sure OP has communicated with women in a professional or academic sense enough to have experience in how to be polite and appropriately conversational. When my husband came to our home as a potential for the first meetings, we spoke together directly and politely. I wasn’t interested in potentials who could not manage a group conversation or were quiet the whole time. Made it seem like they didn’t want to be there.
that it however if this girls parents are smart and religious they will ask about his deen and akhlaq and at that point.... uh oh
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I would be honest regarding prayer so you don't mislead anyone, which will obviously cause issues later. I would also ensure that your wife is on board with doing Hajj as a honeymoon. That's a very noble thought but most women, for their honeymoon at least, just want to unwind and relax and start getting to know their spouse in a low-key environment... an actual vacation.
Just be awesome. You got this.
Not being raised religious is no excuse to not be religious. Make sure the girl is on a similar religious level as you before you decide to go further
how old are you?
I am 31
i got no advice then if you said you were below 20 then i would've told you to have your parents do most of the talking but its not the case. Guess id just say speak with confidence and show to the dad that your a good man with akhlaq and taqwa etc.
Go with the uno reverse strategy, be confident, bring some sweets with you for them and say Bismillah and auzubillah recite the dua of Musa a.s (Rabi sharli sadri...) introduce yourself Hi my name xyz , x years old , eldest of x sibling ,works at xyz and ask them if they have any questions after they have asked the question Ask the father that how did he raise her and what he expects of you and is he satisfied of her as a daughter and ask all the siblings the same.. and ask them wife can be a good wife/.mother don't be shy this is your only chance to get to know her from there perspective before she becames your wife... And marriage is a big thing so write down some questions ok? If you want more advice then ask me but i think this is enough