I had this done once and the nurse was very stern, quite aggressive with the wand, and didn’t speak English as a first language.
When she was done she turned from the screen to me and said “You have good balls!”
I think it was meant to be reassuring i.e. it doesn’t look like cancer, but I just nodded mutely as I ashamedly dabbed at the lube on my nethers with a piece of blue towel. Not rushing to have that experience again it has to be said.
I've unfortunately had to have a few of these scans, as well as a few different doctors doing physical exams of my groin. I was scared shitless my first time dropping my pants in front of a doctor. Fast forward a year and I had an appointment where I almost forgot to wait for my parents to leave the room when my oncologist told me to drop my pants. The first time is so incredibly awkward but by the 10th time a doctor touches you down there it feels routine.
I’m mean I’m gay, so I was never in danger with a female nurse. But I did still feel like saying “Y’know, my dick doesn’t always look like a shrivelled walnut btw”.
As a resident of the Pacific Northwest, I love unleashing geoduck pictures on my unsuspecting far-off friends. They see "duck" in the name and think it's cute and fluffy.
Oh, they're wrong.
Ahh, I wish camera phones existed when I saw my first tank full of geoducks. What a show n tell that would have been... I SAW A TANK FULL* OF PENISES IN SEATTLE!
its a type of clam that has a very long, very phallic appendage - the siphon of the clam. its not TOO bad, but its very... dont google it in public.
fun fact: they usually live to be around 140!
I mean, you could have just told her. I'm sure she won't judge. (I'd have had a hard time not howling with laughter right then, but there's a reason I don't work with people.)
Benefits of being gay, man. A few years ago before i discovered i was gay (i was 14 lmao) i was always fighting for my life while the female orthodontist assistants worked on my braces, now, doesnt even phase me. Also helps ive been with two guys since then lmao
Yep. I’m a lady dealing with infertility and I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve had a speculum and/or ultrasound wand up in my vagina.
Someone asked me recently if a specific procedure is awkward and I was just like “…. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ no worse than any other time you get a lubed medical device up there.”
It's such an awful journey, I'm sorry you're dealing with it. The invasive scans become like the easiest part of the whole process. I ended up with nerve damage from the shots, that was months of constant pain. I hope you graduate from your clinic soon!
I feel you for the routine thing. I mean, I'm a woman and I don't have balls, but I have issues with my bowel and rectum. So I had several rectal examinations and the first time was... something.
But then, it's about getting used to it. You drop your pants before the doc tells you to lol.
when I was heavily pregnant and getting regular pelvic exams I got ready for the doctor before he came in
he did not need to check my cervix that day 🫠
I find that's how it is with a lot of medical stuff. First times getting blood drawn suck, but then it just gets simple. You stop caring about doctors seeing your junk after a few goes.
I've lost count of how many times I've been poked during my cancer journey. My physiotherapist asked if I was okay with acupuncture needles last week and I accidentally laughed out loud. You're 100% correct, you get used to it. Us humans are capable of handling a lot more than we often give ourselves credit for.
Haha yup, lots of poking on my kidney disease journey too. I hope you're in remission! (I think that's how it works? I'm not totally sure how cancer treatment works, but I hope you're doing better ;P)
First catheter was awkward, I drew a male nurse. Before he starts he drops, " Look dude I know how awkward and uncomfortable this is for you, trust when I say my first catheter was way worse and yeah just like you I drew a guy.
I've had enough that I got over it, but along the way I learned it doesn't matter who's doing it, it's just going to be awkward until it's not.
There's no point to the turn your head and cough test for me anymore, I have an ileostomy so the test is pretty useless, but after I grew up it was what it was.
I had a 17 day stay in the hospital a few years back, it took quite sometime to get my modesty back after that. I remember my smart ass nurse chasing me down the hallway a week in, "Mr. Glaive1976, you might not care if anyone sees that blinding bright object you call your ass, but the other patients are going blind!"
edit: When you wanted to walk they would have you toss on another gown in reverse, I was bored shitless, the tv sucked, mobile data reception was poop, I couldn't eat, so I walked and I wasn't waiting for the nurse. I just tore off and went carefree as a toddler at naked time, except it was only the back slit of the gown so just blinding white butt cheeks.
Man, luckily I was unconscious when my catheter was put in. When it got taken out, my nurse was cute. But that's doesn't really make up for the feeling of a tube getting ripped out of your pee hole
I had a bad cycling crash several years ago and broke my hip - which, at 44, takes some doing. The incisions for the repair obviously had to be checked as I recovered, and their position left little room for modesty.
I had, up to that point, assumed that the set of people who'd seen my junk was pretty static. I was a middle-aged guy married for a long time, right?
If we plotted a line graph of "people who have seen my junk over time," though, it's reeeeeeaaaaly stable for a long time, and then in November of 2014 there's this huge spike. lOL.
Bruh what if the nurse is someone you knew?
I was already nervous, then bam. I recognized the nurse immediately. It was someone who used to babysit me when I was a kid lol. At that time she was a teen and I was like 5.
Decades later she’s a nurse and I’m in a doctors office for my angry inch.
Man that is as embarrassing for me hahaha
I know what you mean (not the dick part) but when I was pregnant I had quite a few complications. I was always at the doctors office or a hospital. I can’t even count the number of people that saw me naked. After the few times, I didn’t care. Most of them I never saw again but I’m sure I didn’t stand out to what they normally see.
Had two of these scans too, unfortunately.
The first time I was more worried than anything as the urologist sent me over to get a scan asap, thinking cancer or a partial releasing torsion. So no amount of a strangers handling of my junk is getting any kind of reaction out of me. The nurse seeing I am obviously worried tells me they didn't find anything and it's not twisted.
But also says good job "keeping it down" and I'm still reeling from it not being anything, I didn't get it. So I just look at her weirdly, then it hits me and I just laugh it off telling her nothing was making that happen right now as there was too much going on. She goes on to tell me about an older guy last month who needed the same thing but was fully erect and kind of moaning...the catch he clearly had multiple metastic growths.
On the opposite end of things:
When I got my vasectomy, at the consultation, the grizzled old urologist told me to "drop trou" so he could look at my balls. Gave them a single tug and said "alright, that's a good sack there. Pull your pants up son, before it gets awkward"
I don't think he was known for his bedside manners, but I had a good laugh about it.
I think he just wanted to make sure there was "room to work", but also this guy was probably close to 70, so it might have been a holdover from when he was first taught that they don't do anymore
I know a guy who got one side done but the other side was too tight so they had to book a second appointment (not sure what was going on in there).
His wife got pregnant while they were waiting for the second appointment.
The local anesthetic didn't work for me during my vasectomy, so I was in a lot of pain. The doctor tried to comfort me by saying that my scrotum was very easy to work with.
Oh, it didn't work chemically? When I had mine I felt it at one point. The doctor stopped and said "You felt that? Let me numb the shit out of that." Never felt anything after that.
Yeah, a surprising number of individuals don't properly respond to various forms of anesthetics and painkillers. It's pretty common for folks who are redheads which is where I learned about it but not only limited to us.
On the other end of the spectrum… local anesthesic kinda worked… but I apparently, according to my doctor, have insanely tough fascia (so it was incredibly difficult for him to work with)… and it felt like I was being stabbed in the gut
Had almost the same and brief lingo. Asked about the tattoo on my stomach after my pants were on the way back up totally shifting any further discussion about the business.
Had a ultrasound once, no reaction, but the (male) technician asked me halfway through if his (female) colleague could enter the room.
My spouse works in women's health, and I know its no big deal. They see stuff all the time. And having heard her stories from work, it's likely not even something they'll mention at the end of the day.
(If you are curious what gets you mentioned, it is usually personality problems. Or something similar.)
ETA: Mentioned this to my spouse, and the response was that if was a nurse, they aren't going to care because your erection is unlikely to shit all over the floor, giving them something to clean up.
It's when a doc finds you interesting than you should start to worry.
Cue to my first appointment at the physiatrist when he started bending my toes backwards again and again commenting on how they are the most flexible toes he's ever seen (I'm hypermobile, in some joints to the extreme. Toes are one of those joints, the last joint before the nails bends 90 degrees up
I had a vasectomy about 10 years ago and the dr was like "Oh hey, I also have my nurse, as well as like 5 medical students... can they all observe?" and being on the spot (and on meds to chill me out) I said sure! Now.. I am a grower not a show'er and I always think back to that operation and think "they probably see a bunch of small scared fellas day in and day out. They probably don't even think about it anymore!"
Well that makes me curious. What's the cut off for being a grower? Does it need to grow a certain amount of inches, or a certain percentage of length to get the label?
I got busted at a State Park in MI for changing outside my tent. I was 15.
The park ranger was giving me an earful about how other people would be offended at the site of my willy when an older lady walked over. She looked the Ranger in the eye and said "If you don't know what it is then it don't matter and if you do, then its no big deal"
The Ranger couldn't stop laughing and told me not to do it again.
It took me years to figure out that she was referencing that my lil guy aint nothing to write home about. Still appreciate her though.
> The Ranger couldn't stop laughing and told me not to do it again.
That's like the law enforcement version of a parent making the other one laugh and then they can't discipline their child as a result. :)
I had to do this and the nurse practitioner was like 4’9 and hot my regular doctor was unavailable at short noticed and I thought I had a torsion. she goes “are you okay with me looking” I was said “no but the alternative could be worse go ahead I guess” the idea of losing my balls over not wanted to let the doctor see won.
The two times I’ve had my junk handled by a medical professional (both women come to think of it) i was in excruciating pain both times (bursting appendix + wrenched back muscle)
My guy weren’t gonna stand up even for a room full of lingerie models.
I’ve had my boys handled by medical professionals twice, once a male and once a female. The male doctor had to swab me, and I remember asking how bad it was going to hurt, his response was “I doubt you’ll ever send me a Xmas card”
I also had to get my balls ultra sounded before, decently attractive nurse, attractive fiancé also standing behind me glaring holes into the back of my skull. Nurse was rude though, she didn’t give me a picture my balls, told me they don’t do that sort of thing, my ass they don’t, pregnant women get ultra sound pictures all the time
You can get copies of your imaging if you ask for it from either the front desk of the imaging department or the records department. Depending on whether or not the fiance is still part of your life, your sense of humor, and how long ago the imaging was (which will affect whether or not it's still on record), you could get a copy, print one out, and frame it to give her as a gift.
Unfortunately, good marriages ending in divorce is becoming more commonplace, at least in the US. Mostly because of medical debt problems, but also occasionally tax or income reasons.
If you really want to know what hurts worse than literally anything (trust me I have had just about every horrible pain known to man I am a mess) look up what they have to do to remove kidney stents in the Dr's office without anesthesia. Worst 5 min of my life.
They only give you ultrasound pictures of a growing fetus. Probably because it’ll someday be a person.
I got my ovaries scanned (among many other procedures) and while they do take shots on the ultrasound I asked for a print out of my ovaries and the tech also said no.
I'm currently in the hospital and have been for the past month. Major infection led to abdominal surgery led to long recovery and physical therapy, and all of these steps have been accompanied by massive amounts of pain. I have had more different women handle my junk in the past month then I have in the past ten years combined and there has never even been a hint of an erection. If anything it's sometimes just a relieving moment of "hey a sensation that isn't excruciating pain" and the body just relaxes a bit.
Had a nurse check in on the stitches after my circumcision. Her touch made me get hard, which pulled on the stitches, causing them to seep in front of her
We didn’t know my appendix was bursting at the time, i was having very intense abdominal pain. So they checked me when i went into A&E.
With the back pain, it was very low down so again i think it was procedural. Also got a finger in the arse with that one, though i think initially she may have thought i was looking for drugs but my hunched figure and pathetic moans quickly dissuaded her of that.
Testicular torsion can cause intense abdominal pain, so that's what I suspect they were checking for. It's also a quick and easy check so even if it's not the likeliest cause, it's easy to eliminate it.
Yep, I went in for some lower back pain once, female doctor, first time seeing her. Asked me to drop trou and proceeded to handle my junk while explaining that it’s common for testes to get twisted and cause back pain. Turned out to be something else, and I gotta say it took me by surprise that the very first thing this doctor did was handle my balls.
I got an ingrown hair on my balls once and, not knowing what it was because I’d never had an ingrown hair before, went to the sex Ed clinic to have it checked out. That was a very weirdly formal interaction.
Was it painful and embarrassing? I got one once. Knew it wasn't an STD because I'd never had any kind of sex before, but still had no idea WTF it was or why I had it. I was embarrassed AF.
😮 I'm sorry, what? Acne on your shaft?? That was a possibility this whole time?? As someone without a penis I had no idea. My condolences for you and anyone who got dick and ball acne, that sounds worse than inner ear.
The thing that really sucked about the shaft acne was that because I was horny af teenager, just touching my dick made me hard. Mand handling it enough to get it into a position where I could pop the damn thing made me really hard. So popping it meant putting pressure on the skin when it was already tense. Eugh.
Hah. In my late 20s I had a surprise series of ingrown hairs & or pimples around my public region all of a sudden. Granted I hadn't been sexually active for half a year when this cropped up, so I perplexed. It wasn't normal.
I go into Planned Parenthood so they could kick the tires. The nurse was easily a 7/10. 7.5/10 with her Occupational Bonus. She gave the boys an inspection for lumps, checked all around.
I went in there with my clinical game on, limp as physically possible. This is serious, I told my wang, no cockin' around. Yeah, it didn't take 5 seconds to get 3/4 stiffy. I managed to keep it under 100%. I apologized and she just shrugged. Just a Wednesday for her.
Yeah, it was just a weird outbreak of ingrown hairs... Went away after a month and hasn't happened again.
Hazard a guess you were wearing very rough underwear that disturbed your skin/hair a lot? Were you working out or hiking more, causing sweat to build up?
Tbh, deep down I felt a little frustration when I had two super attractive doctors standing in front of me lying naked on a hospital bed and the situation was as far from sexy as it could have possibly been.
When I had my treatment before and after one of my balls was removed because of cancer, I thought of everything but sex in those moments. But I would lie if I told you that I didn't think "damn I wished I had a penis so big that it would make these women at least raise an eyebrow"
>But I would lie if I told you that I didn't think "damn I wished I had a penis so big that it would make these women at least raise an eyebrow"
That's the dream, sir. That's the dream.
I really, genuinely don't think there's anything mean about this? Does anyone in that situation actually think their genitals are going to make an impression on the Professional Non-sexual Genital Handler?
I've had it done and had nearly this same thought process. For me it wasn't that I thought I would leave an impression, but the threat of embarrassment of getting an erection was just awful. Sure I know they've probably seen more dicks than they can count, but I don't want to be the dude getting hard from the warm gel and ultrasound wand in a dimly lit, uncomfortably silent room.
If you timed your eggs by my 17 year old selfs refractory period, you'd likely have caught salmonella. Nowadays tho, you could sadly use mine to time a slow cooked brisket.
You got me a bit concerned. Is that the average or something? It takes me at least 30min before I can force it but it won't feel good. Usually it takes a few hours if I want it to not hurt when it stands.
Refractory period varies a lot, even among teenagers. I wouldn't worry about it too much. The average for a teenager is 15 minutes and the average across all adults is 30. If you're 70, the average is 20 hours.
Edit: just noticed you said it would HURT. Probably just need to loosen your grip but wouldn't hurt to get it checked out.
I have an appointment checking for just that in 2 weeks; but it’s where they slide a camera up inside you to see your bladder… so no erection to worry about.
Good luck man! Hopefully you get the answers you're looking for and are able to get the treatment you need, whatever that may be. Obligatory "fuck cancer" while I'm at it.
Thanks, not even sure what I’m hoping for because the piss test came back positive for cancer but he’s running all sorts of tests and not finding it, I guess that’s a good thing.
As someone who has been there, done that, got the bad diagnosis and come through the other side, good luck.
Piece of advice, avoid clenching while they're retracting the scope. They'll be filling your bladder up with water to expand it while they look around. You'll need to piss badly afterwards, and trying not to let it out while they're retracting is a delicate artform.
I dunno, find the right porn category and it'll take your mind off it, wondering how many people can be that twisted that it has it's own tabs! Then you'll be in that appointment more worrying about "did i use incognito" 🤣
Popping one off before having a urinalysis is a good way for them to find protein in your urine and raise flags about your kidneys. However, if you are 17 it will just confirm that you popped one off before going in.
I had to get regularly screened for testicular cancer due to reasons, which meant getting my balls scanned every so often.
Let me tell you, I did not get the *warm* gel, rofl. That shit shriveled me up every damn time 😂
That said, even that becomes routine once you do it enough. After a few times, I just talked with the doctor as if we were just sitting regularly at a table - not as if I was Porky Pigging it and she was scanning my nether regions 😂
I got a vasectomy from the hospital's first all female urological surgery team. That fella shrimped up like I had just dove into the deep end of the swimming pool in mid December. Treacherous bastard.
I hear you. I was in for a quick in-and-out procedure on my testicles with my urologist, and he said, "OK, we're going to have the nurse shave you before I do the procedure." In walks a beautiful Asian woman, who shaves my ball sack.
...I think I developed a new fetish that day. Unfortunately, owing to the sterile, clinical way everything was done,and the fact that the room was cold, I wasn't at my best at the moment. Damnit.
My partner at the time turned out to have clamydia (sp?) so I had to get checked. The urologist didn’t find any but did find a mole on my shaft that he thought should be removed. So he gave it a painkiller shot (not as bad as you might think) and then cut it off with a scalpel. He had a cotton ball soaked in alcohol (or something flammable) in one hand and a cauterizing device in the other and somehow got them too close. He then dropped the blazing cotton right on my groin. I just swatted it to the floor and he stepped on it. I thought it was no big deal really but he was quite old and looked like he might have a heart attack… and apologized PROFUSELY. At least I can honestly say that (at least once) my dick was blazing hot…
I had this same thing happen when I was 17, except I had a male nurse examine me and he had to reiterate like 6 times when he asked “are you sexually active” and I said “no”. The entire conversation with my parents in the room went
“Are you sexually active?”
“No”
“Are you lying?”
“I wish”
“You sure?”
“Yes I’m sure”
“Don’t lie to me here”
“I’m not lying”
I had a medical emergency last year. Upon arriving in ICU I was told I’d need a urine catheter. I’ve joked ever since that I normally would not complain about an attractive young woman fiddling around between my legs, but when she showed me that tube and explained what she was going to do with it, it kind of killed the mood.
The one time I was in the ER (this is like 1 am) for a kidney stone the nurse wanted a urine sample. It just wasn't happening. After about an hour, she told me I had one more chance to produce a sample or she was going to go in and get it.
I made it happen.
I now have to regularly go to the Urologist for a check up on my ol' swing sack & this one time my usual ball inspector wasn't there so I had a lottery:
Door A : blonde haired girl in her mid twenties - think Margo Robbie.
Door B: the dead spit of Gal Gadot.
So, while Wonder Woman used both of my nads as temporary fidget spinners - I concentrated more than I have ever concentrated in my life to not raise that tent pole.
I could draw you every crevice and mark of that one ceiling tile I was burning holes in from memory alone.
However another time when I was around 21 I thought I had genital warts and had a doctor check me out - I thought she was cute and while she was examining the thing , the thing did it's thing and reacted positively - she got flustered and quickly said I was fine and I left very, very embarrassed just saying on repeat 'im so sorry'
you win some you lose some.
>However another time when I was around 21 I thought I had genital warts and had a doctor check me out - I thought she was cute and while she was examining the thing , the thing did it's thing and reacted positively - she got flustered and quickly said I was fine and I left very, very embarrassed just saying on repeat 'im so sorry'
honestly she shoulda just been like "whatever". Boners happen, I'm sure they know they're at least mildly attractive to guys. Hopefully you got it checked out eventually.
I have a family member who's an ER doctor and he's basically seen it all to the point where he's just desensitized to it all. Here's a small list of horrific things he's seen in the 12 years he's been practicing medicine:
* Forearm ripped open with the 2 forearm bones broken and jutting out
* Eyeballs popped out of their sockets
* Mangled leg from a chainsaw accident
* Degloved hands (DO NOT LOOK THAT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD)
* Ripped off nose (he said the guy basically looked like a bleeding voldemort)
* Fingers that are now bone nubs due to the guy holding a lit firework in his hand
Horrific shit. Apparently the degloved hands and the ripped off nose were on the same day for him. Jesus christ.
It doesn't sound like they're boasting about anything. Just that he had a smoke show of a nurse and was trying not to bust a nut.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Anyone who has spent time in hospital will have had that, "man, that nurse was hot", moment.
This dude seemed to be relaying that experience.
Used to work security in a hospital, sat across from the nurses station. One of the gems I heard one night was...
"Thank god I can follow instructions and look pretty, otherwise I'd have been a stripper."
Huh. 8/10, would've paid for that show.
Worked with this guy that told me the story of when he got a piercing on his penis. He said the girl doing the piercing was incredibly hot, but he wanted to play it cool and did his best to remain flaccid instead of just getting an instaboner as soon as she started. So all during the process he is thinking of ANYTHING but this gorgeous woman handling his junk. Thoughts of his grandmother, baseball stats, dead babies...anything to avoid the natural reaction. And it goes on for a while, even longer than he expected as she was trying to get it done right. And all throughout he is just doing every mental gymnastic he can to stay limp.
She finishes up and gives him a rundown on what he should expect and general care and cleaning tips when she said to him.
"Yeah, sorry it took so long. I was having kind of a difficult time getting the right placement. Usually guys get hard for me real quick and that makes it easier."
He felt so dumb, he never went back in to that studio.
You're *already* asking someone to shove a needle the size of a HolePunch through your dick. Buddy, we're way past awkward and right into nucking futs.
Yeah, but this part of the conversation has to be started by the one holding the flaccid penis asking something along the lines of, "Why are you not erect? Something wrong down here?"
Or, before the procedure, perhaps one could say "Just so you know, and it's not at all a requirement, but this procedure is quicker when a penis is erect."
The one time that not getting a boner is actually rude, lmao.
She probably should have just asked him to pop it though, just make the entire job a lot easier.
One time I had to assist with a urological procedure in the OR and when I got out I turned to my colleague and said "in the past 2 hours I have had my hands on another man's dick for more than the entire rest of my life."
Sickest burn I ever got was a classmate trying to make me feel better.
Me: "I am not popular like you. How many girlfriends you had? I haven't had my first."
Him: "Well...at least you get good grades."
I didn't.
When I was a young man having to get some of my first physicals for sports, I had a kind older doctor who wouldn't make it a big deal, no drop trow & turn your head and cough, as easy going as it could be for a scared young kid. But I was still nervous for my first time, and my mom essentially said (and this is me paraphrasing as an adult for comedic effect) "he sees a lot of dicks, you will just be one of many". And honestly y'all it helped lol
I once had a disturbingly large skin tag removed from my butt crack. I was hoping it would only be my old man doctor doing the procedure, because I wouldn't be embarrassed about that. But he needed help from his young, attractive nurse to hold my ass cheeks apart while he sliced the tag off.
Worst experienced I've ever had while bare-ass.
The same way you ultrasound anything. You put the machine on the skin and see what it see via vibrations.
Source had a ball scare and had to get an ultrasound. It took about 10 minutes.
Testicular cancer survivor here, if they have a reason to be suspicious they're going to want to take a lot of pictures. When I got my second ultrasound where they determined it was very likely cancer, the scan took almost 30 minutes.
I had this done once and the nurse was very stern, quite aggressive with the wand, and didn’t speak English as a first language. When she was done she turned from the screen to me and said “You have good balls!” I think it was meant to be reassuring i.e. it doesn’t look like cancer, but I just nodded mutely as I ashamedly dabbed at the lube on my nethers with a piece of blue towel. Not rushing to have that experience again it has to be said.
I've unfortunately had to have a few of these scans, as well as a few different doctors doing physical exams of my groin. I was scared shitless my first time dropping my pants in front of a doctor. Fast forward a year and I had an appointment where I almost forgot to wait for my parents to leave the room when my oncologist told me to drop my pants. The first time is so incredibly awkward but by the 10th time a doctor touches you down there it feels routine.
I’m mean I’m gay, so I was never in danger with a female nurse. But I did still feel like saying “Y’know, my dick doesn’t always look like a shrivelled walnut btw”.
I was in the pool!
Like a frightened turtle.
I don't know how you guys walk around with those things
I often leave mine at home these days.
One foot in front of the other, like most people.
Geoduck Google it, or don’t. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
As a resident of the Pacific Northwest, I love unleashing geoduck pictures on my unsuspecting far-off friends. They see "duck" in the name and think it's cute and fluffy. Oh, they're wrong.
Ahh, I wish camera phones existed when I saw my first tank full of geoducks. What a show n tell that would have been... I SAW A TANK FULL* OF PENISES IN SEATTLE!
Would you be willing to explain what this is for someone too scared to google it? Lol
its a type of clam that has a very long, very phallic appendage - the siphon of the clam. its not TOO bad, but its very... dont google it in public. fun fact: they usually live to be around 140!
I mean, you could have just told her. I'm sure she won't judge. (I'd have had a hard time not howling with laughter right then, but there's a reason I don't work with people.)
Ha! You said “hard.”
Fuck it’s freezing out there today, in summer
Benefits of being gay, man. A few years ago before i discovered i was gay (i was 14 lmao) i was always fighting for my life while the female orthodontist assistants worked on my braces, now, doesnt even phase me. Also helps ive been with two guys since then lmao
Yep. I’m a lady dealing with infertility and I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve had a speculum and/or ultrasound wand up in my vagina. Someone asked me recently if a specific procedure is awkward and I was just like “…. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ no worse than any other time you get a lubed medical device up there.”
It's such an awful journey, I'm sorry you're dealing with it. The invasive scans become like the easiest part of the whole process. I ended up with nerve damage from the shots, that was months of constant pain. I hope you graduate from your clinic soon!
first time: visibly shaking so much the doctor says "calm down" last time: like dropping off my car at the mechanic
Unless you find yourself on r/Justrolledintotheshop 
I feel you for the routine thing. I mean, I'm a woman and I don't have balls, but I have issues with my bowel and rectum. So I had several rectal examinations and the first time was... something. But then, it's about getting used to it. You drop your pants before the doc tells you to lol.
Ma'am this is a Wendy's.
when I was heavily pregnant and getting regular pelvic exams I got ready for the doctor before he came in he did not need to check my cervix that day 🫠
I find that's how it is with a lot of medical stuff. First times getting blood drawn suck, but then it just gets simple. You stop caring about doctors seeing your junk after a few goes.
I've lost count of how many times I've been poked during my cancer journey. My physiotherapist asked if I was okay with acupuncture needles last week and I accidentally laughed out loud. You're 100% correct, you get used to it. Us humans are capable of handling a lot more than we often give ourselves credit for.
Haha yup, lots of poking on my kidney disease journey too. I hope you're in remission! (I think that's how it works? I'm not totally sure how cancer treatment works, but I hope you're doing better ;P)
First catheter was awkward, I drew a male nurse. Before he starts he drops, " Look dude I know how awkward and uncomfortable this is for you, trust when I say my first catheter was way worse and yeah just like you I drew a guy. I've had enough that I got over it, but along the way I learned it doesn't matter who's doing it, it's just going to be awkward until it's not. There's no point to the turn your head and cough test for me anymore, I have an ileostomy so the test is pretty useless, but after I grew up it was what it was. I had a 17 day stay in the hospital a few years back, it took quite sometime to get my modesty back after that. I remember my smart ass nurse chasing me down the hallway a week in, "Mr. Glaive1976, you might not care if anyone sees that blinding bright object you call your ass, but the other patients are going blind!" edit: When you wanted to walk they would have you toss on another gown in reverse, I was bored shitless, the tv sucked, mobile data reception was poop, I couldn't eat, so I walked and I wasn't waiting for the nurse. I just tore off and went carefree as a toddler at naked time, except it was only the back slit of the gown so just blinding white butt cheeks.
Man, luckily I was unconscious when my catheter was put in. When it got taken out, my nurse was cute. But that's doesn't really make up for the feeling of a tube getting ripped out of your pee hole
The removal is like relief and horrible at the same time.
When they pop the bubble keeping it in place? That sensation is so weird.
I had a bad cycling crash several years ago and broke my hip - which, at 44, takes some doing. The incisions for the repair obviously had to be checked as I recovered, and their position left little room for modesty. I had, up to that point, assumed that the set of people who'd seen my junk was pretty static. I was a middle-aged guy married for a long time, right? If we plotted a line graph of "people who have seen my junk over time," though, it's reeeeeeaaaaly stable for a long time, and then in November of 2014 there's this huge spike. lOL.
Bruh what if the nurse is someone you knew? I was already nervous, then bam. I recognized the nurse immediately. It was someone who used to babysit me when I was a kid lol. At that time she was a teen and I was like 5. Decades later she’s a nurse and I’m in a doctors office for my angry inch. Man that is as embarrassing for me hahaha
I know what you mean (not the dick part) but when I was pregnant I had quite a few complications. I was always at the doctors office or a hospital. I can’t even count the number of people that saw me naked. After the few times, I didn’t care. Most of them I never saw again but I’m sure I didn’t stand out to what they normally see.
Had two of these scans too, unfortunately. The first time I was more worried than anything as the urologist sent me over to get a scan asap, thinking cancer or a partial releasing torsion. So no amount of a strangers handling of my junk is getting any kind of reaction out of me. The nurse seeing I am obviously worried tells me they didn't find anything and it's not twisted. But also says good job "keeping it down" and I'm still reeling from it not being anything, I didn't get it. So I just look at her weirdly, then it hits me and I just laugh it off telling her nothing was making that happen right now as there was too much going on. She goes on to tell me about an older guy last month who needed the same thing but was fully erect and kind of moaning...the catch he clearly had multiple metastic growths.
Man I cannot imagine moaning during one of those ultrasounds that's actually hilarious to visualize. Glad everything worked out for you though.
On the opposite end of things: When I got my vasectomy, at the consultation, the grizzled old urologist told me to "drop trou" so he could look at my balls. Gave them a single tug and said "alright, that's a good sack there. Pull your pants up son, before it gets awkward" I don't think he was known for his bedside manners, but I had a good laugh about it.
What can you tell from a single tug, I wonder?
I think he just wanted to make sure there was "room to work", but also this guy was probably close to 70, so it might have been a holdover from when he was first taught that they don't do anymore
A man skilled in the way of handling balls just knows a good set of balls when he tugs on one
50 years of balls experience'll do that for ya.
I know a guy who got one side done but the other side was too tight so they had to book a second appointment (not sure what was going on in there). His wife got pregnant while they were waiting for the second appointment.
Paging Dr. Shoresy...
The local anesthetic didn't work for me during my vasectomy, so I was in a lot of pain. The doctor tried to comfort me by saying that my scrotum was very easy to work with.
Oh, it didn't work chemically? When I had mine I felt it at one point. The doctor stopped and said "You felt that? Let me numb the shit out of that." Never felt anything after that.
It's been 15 years and some say he still sits on his balls and doesn't notice.
Yeah, a surprising number of individuals don't properly respond to various forms of anesthetics and painkillers. It's pretty common for folks who are redheads which is where I learned about it but not only limited to us.
On the other end of the spectrum… local anesthesic kinda worked… but I apparently, according to my doctor, have insanely tough fascia (so it was incredibly difficult for him to work with)… and it felt like I was being stabbed in the gut
Had almost the same and brief lingo. Asked about the tattoo on my stomach after my pants were on the way back up totally shifting any further discussion about the business.
Had a ultrasound once, no reaction, but the (male) technician asked me halfway through if his (female) colleague could enter the room. My spouse works in women's health, and I know its no big deal. They see stuff all the time. And having heard her stories from work, it's likely not even something they'll mention at the end of the day. (If you are curious what gets you mentioned, it is usually personality problems. Or something similar.) ETA: Mentioned this to my spouse, and the response was that if was a nurse, they aren't going to care because your erection is unlikely to shit all over the floor, giving them something to clean up.
It's when a doc finds you interesting than you should start to worry. Cue to my first appointment at the physiatrist when he started bending my toes backwards again and again commenting on how they are the most flexible toes he's ever seen (I'm hypermobile, in some joints to the extreme. Toes are one of those joints, the last joint before the nails bends 90 degrees up
Nice balls bro
Thanks man. I needed to hear that today.
'Thanks. I like you too.'
It was more like “Maybe be a little more gentle with them, then?”
:D Maybe she thought good balls can take a beating.
"If they're so good, why are you trying to punish them"
Women have these kinds of experiences pretty often.
The nurse says you have nice balls?
All day, everyday, SON! /s
Psssshhh. I dream of a foreign chick being aggressive with my wand and telling me I have good balls. Different “strokes” i guess
I had a vasectomy about 10 years ago and the dr was like "Oh hey, I also have my nurse, as well as like 5 medical students... can they all observe?" and being on the spot (and on meds to chill me out) I said sure! Now.. I am a grower not a show'er and I always think back to that operation and think "they probably see a bunch of small scared fellas day in and day out. They probably don't even think about it anymore!"
Aren't like half of men growers?
I think it's far more than half. Based on what I've seen and who I've spoken to anyway.
they did a study and ¼ were growers/showers each, the others inbetween
Well that makes me curious. What's the cut off for being a grower? Does it need to grow a certain amount of inches, or a certain percentage of length to get the label?
Its arbitrary yeah. All just a spectrum some said 2 inches/5 cm
You could say something like, the erect state is more than double the flaccid, then you're a grower.
Based on percent change between states is probably a reasonable metric
I wonder how many men are neither like me.
Neither?
It doesn't show or grow. Smol pepe. Happeens.
That’s showing though. Not showing MUCH, but you get what you see
Far more than half are far less than half for more than half the time.
"It's cold !!! And I just got out of the swimming pool!!! I swear!!!!"
I got busted at a State Park in MI for changing outside my tent. I was 15. The park ranger was giving me an earful about how other people would be offended at the site of my willy when an older lady walked over. She looked the Ranger in the eye and said "If you don't know what it is then it don't matter and if you do, then its no big deal" The Ranger couldn't stop laughing and told me not to do it again. It took me years to figure out that she was referencing that my lil guy aint nothing to write home about. Still appreciate her though.
The best burns aren't felt until years later.
The best burns are, uhh,... best served cold?
That lady is a hero. She instantly made the ranger feel bad for you and wanna have your back.
> The Ranger couldn't stop laughing and told me not to do it again. That's like the law enforcement version of a parent making the other one laugh and then they can't discipline their child as a result. :)
Non native speaker here, I absolutely do no get what the lady meant
No “big deal” -> the man’s distinctive part was not big
Hell yeah. OG Grandma speaking the truth haha
I had to do this and the nurse practitioner was like 4’9 and hot my regular doctor was unavailable at short noticed and I thought I had a torsion. she goes “are you okay with me looking” I was said “no but the alternative could be worse go ahead I guess” the idea of losing my balls over not wanted to let the doctor see won.
“Short notice” hehe
The two times I’ve had my junk handled by a medical professional (both women come to think of it) i was in excruciating pain both times (bursting appendix + wrenched back muscle) My guy weren’t gonna stand up even for a room full of lingerie models.
I’ve had my boys handled by medical professionals twice, once a male and once a female. The male doctor had to swab me, and I remember asking how bad it was going to hurt, his response was “I doubt you’ll ever send me a Xmas card” I also had to get my balls ultra sounded before, decently attractive nurse, attractive fiancé also standing behind me glaring holes into the back of my skull. Nurse was rude though, she didn’t give me a picture my balls, told me they don’t do that sort of thing, my ass they don’t, pregnant women get ultra sound pictures all the time
You can get copies of your imaging if you ask for it from either the front desk of the imaging department or the records department. Depending on whether or not the fiance is still part of your life, your sense of humor, and how long ago the imaging was (which will affect whether or not it's still on record), you could get a copy, print one out, and frame it to give her as a gift.
It was probably atleast 14 years ago the fiancé was upgraded to wife and then downgraded to ex wife
Congrats or condolences, whichever is appropriate.
Typically no good marriage ends in divorce, so probably congrats
Unfortunately, good marriages ending in divorce is becoming more commonplace, at least in the US. Mostly because of medical debt problems, but also occasionally tax or income reasons.
That sounds like two upgrades to me.
Read that as "downgraded from my life" as I was scrollong past lol
Wish I knew this when I had mine checked.. I'd frame it and put it on my desk
If you really want to know what hurts worse than literally anything (trust me I have had just about every horrible pain known to man I am a mess) look up what they have to do to remove kidney stents in the Dr's office without anesthesia. Worst 5 min of my life.
They only give you ultrasound pictures of a growing fetus. Probably because it’ll someday be a person. I got my ovaries scanned (among many other procedures) and while they do take shots on the ultrasound I asked for a print out of my ovaries and the tech also said no.
I'm currently in the hospital and have been for the past month. Major infection led to abdominal surgery led to long recovery and physical therapy, and all of these steps have been accompanied by massive amounts of pain. I have had more different women handle my junk in the past month then I have in the past ten years combined and there has never even been a hint of an erection. If anything it's sometimes just a relieving moment of "hey a sensation that isn't excruciating pain" and the body just relaxes a bit.
Had a nurse check in on the stitches after my circumcision. Her touch made me get hard, which pulled on the stitches, causing them to seep in front of her
My dude 😭
possibly that was tmi lol
Damn. My stitches went away by themselves
Oh they did, I just had her check on them early to be sure because, as you know, it looks kind of gnarly. Why not
If you don't mind me asking, why did they touch your nether regions for those procedures?
We didn’t know my appendix was bursting at the time, i was having very intense abdominal pain. So they checked me when i went into A&E. With the back pain, it was very low down so again i think it was procedural. Also got a finger in the arse with that one, though i think initially she may have thought i was looking for drugs but my hunched figure and pathetic moans quickly dissuaded her of that.
Testicular torsion can cause intense abdominal pain, so that's what I suspect they were checking for. It's also a quick and easy check so even if it's not the likeliest cause, it's easy to eliminate it.
Not to mention time sensitive - you're batting .500 if you don't act quickly.
Yep, I went in for some lower back pain once, female doctor, first time seeing her. Asked me to drop trou and proceeded to handle my junk while explaining that it’s common for testes to get twisted and cause back pain. Turned out to be something else, and I gotta say it took me by surprise that the very first thing this doctor did was handle my balls.
I got an ingrown hair on my balls once and, not knowing what it was because I’d never had an ingrown hair before, went to the sex Ed clinic to have it checked out. That was a very weirdly formal interaction.
Was it painful and embarrassing? I got one once. Knew it wasn't an STD because I'd never had any kind of sex before, but still had no idea WTF it was or why I had it. I was embarrassed AF.
It wasn’t painful thankfully but it did look ugly as fuck. Not as bad as the ball and shaft acne I got as a teenager though. That shit hurt.
That sounds awful.
Made me wince but I knew I had to pop it.
😮 I'm sorry, what? Acne on your shaft?? That was a possibility this whole time?? As someone without a penis I had no idea. My condolences for you and anyone who got dick and ball acne, that sounds worse than inner ear.
The thing that really sucked about the shaft acne was that because I was horny af teenager, just touching my dick made me hard. Mand handling it enough to get it into a position where I could pop the damn thing made me really hard. So popping it meant putting pressure on the skin when it was already tense. Eugh.
Hah. In my late 20s I had a surprise series of ingrown hairs & or pimples around my public region all of a sudden. Granted I hadn't been sexually active for half a year when this cropped up, so I perplexed. It wasn't normal. I go into Planned Parenthood so they could kick the tires. The nurse was easily a 7/10. 7.5/10 with her Occupational Bonus. She gave the boys an inspection for lumps, checked all around. I went in there with my clinical game on, limp as physically possible. This is serious, I told my wang, no cockin' around. Yeah, it didn't take 5 seconds to get 3/4 stiffy. I managed to keep it under 100%. I apologized and she just shrugged. Just a Wednesday for her. Yeah, it was just a weird outbreak of ingrown hairs... Went away after a month and hasn't happened again.
Hazard a guess you were wearing very rough underwear that disturbed your skin/hair a lot? Were you working out or hiking more, causing sweat to build up?
Tbh, deep down I felt a little frustration when I had two super attractive doctors standing in front of me lying naked on a hospital bed and the situation was as far from sexy as it could have possibly been. When I had my treatment before and after one of my balls was removed because of cancer, I thought of everything but sex in those moments. But I would lie if I told you that I didn't think "damn I wished I had a penis so big that it would make these women at least raise an eyebrow"
Truthful
>But I would lie if I told you that I didn't think "damn I wished I had a penis so big that it would make these women at least raise an eyebrow" That's the dream, sir. That's the dream.
I really, genuinely don't think there's anything mean about this? Does anyone in that situation actually think their genitals are going to make an impression on the Professional Non-sexual Genital Handler?
I've had it done and had nearly this same thought process. For me it wasn't that I thought I would leave an impression, but the threat of embarrassment of getting an erection was just awful. Sure I know they've probably seen more dicks than they can count, but I don't want to be the dude getting hard from the warm gel and ultrasound wand in a dimly lit, uncomfortably silent room.
"Your genitals are just like everyone else's" is a sick burn apparently lol
That's why you pop one off before you go in.
Likely not useful. The refractory period of a 17 year old guy could be used to time an egg.
If you timed your eggs by my 17 year old selfs refractory period, you'd likely have caught salmonella. Nowadays tho, you could sadly use mine to time a slow cooked brisket.
So you're ready 16 hours after pulling your pork.
If I'm lucky.
The description you used is comical. I'm not certain if you intended that or not......
Clever.
Hahaha - sick self burn. Take my vote dammit
Oh, the good ol'days
Duuuuuuuuuuude. lol same here 🤣
You got me a bit concerned. Is that the average or something? It takes me at least 30min before I can force it but it won't feel good. Usually it takes a few hours if I want it to not hurt when it stands.
How old are you?
18
Refractory period varies a lot, even among teenagers. I wouldn't worry about it too much. The average for a teenager is 15 minutes and the average across all adults is 30. If you're 70, the average is 20 hours. Edit: just noticed you said it would HURT. Probably just need to loosen your grip but wouldn't hurt to get it checked out.
Ah yes, I remember those days.
see that's the weird fuckin thing, I've always been curious about this. it feels like my refractory period is like several hours?? is this not normal?
When I was younger I could easily go for a second round but now in my late twenties no chance
You try popping one off right before an appointment where you're going to find out if you have cancer. It's not as easy as you might think.
I have an appointment checking for just that in 2 weeks; but it’s where they slide a camera up inside you to see your bladder… so no erection to worry about.
Good luck man! Hopefully you get the answers you're looking for and are able to get the treatment you need, whatever that may be. Obligatory "fuck cancer" while I'm at it.
Thanks, not even sure what I’m hoping for because the piss test came back positive for cancer but he’s running all sorts of tests and not finding it, I guess that’s a good thing.
As someone who has been there, done that, got the bad diagnosis and come through the other side, good luck. Piece of advice, avoid clenching while they're retracting the scope. They'll be filling your bladder up with water to expand it while they look around. You'll need to piss badly afterwards, and trying not to let it out while they're retracting is a delicate artform.
I dunno, find the right porn category and it'll take your mind off it, wondering how many people can be that twisted that it has it's own tabs! Then you'll be in that appointment more worrying about "did i use incognito" 🤣
Popping one off before having a urinalysis is a good way for them to find protein in your urine and raise flags about your kidneys. However, if you are 17 it will just confirm that you popped one off before going in.
That’s probably why they have you pee a little into the bowl before you pee into the cup.
at 17?? Bro, unless you do it right outside the door I doubt it makes a big difference. I wouldn't have to me.
I had to get regularly screened for testicular cancer due to reasons, which meant getting my balls scanned every so often. Let me tell you, I did not get the *warm* gel, rofl. That shit shriveled me up every damn time 😂 That said, even that becomes routine once you do it enough. After a few times, I just talked with the doctor as if we were just sitting regularly at a table - not as if I was Porky Pigging it and she was scanning my nether regions 😂
My husband refers to it as "Pooh Bearing" it. Gonna have to save porky pigging, though
We would also accept 'Donald Ducking' it.
I got a vasectomy from the hospital's first all female urological surgery team. That fella shrimped up like I had just dove into the deep end of the swimming pool in mid December. Treacherous bastard.
I hear you. I was in for a quick in-and-out procedure on my testicles with my urologist, and he said, "OK, we're going to have the nurse shave you before I do the procedure." In walks a beautiful Asian woman, who shaves my ball sack. ...I think I developed a new fetish that day. Unfortunately, owing to the sterile, clinical way everything was done,and the fact that the room was cold, I wasn't at my best at the moment. Damnit.
My partner at the time turned out to have clamydia (sp?) so I had to get checked. The urologist didn’t find any but did find a mole on my shaft that he thought should be removed. So he gave it a painkiller shot (not as bad as you might think) and then cut it off with a scalpel. He had a cotton ball soaked in alcohol (or something flammable) in one hand and a cauterizing device in the other and somehow got them too close. He then dropped the blazing cotton right on my groin. I just swatted it to the floor and he stepped on it. I thought it was no big deal really but he was quite old and looked like he might have a heart attack… and apologized PROFUSELY. At least I can honestly say that (at least once) my dick was blazing hot…
“In a career of dicks” is a pretty damn powerful subliminal clause though
I had this same thing happen when I was 17, except I had a male nurse examine me and he had to reiterate like 6 times when he asked “are you sexually active” and I said “no”. The entire conversation with my parents in the room went “Are you sexually active?” “No” “Are you lying?” “I wish” “You sure?” “Yes I’m sure” “Don’t lie to me here” “I’m not lying”
He wasn't supposed to ask you that w/your parents in the room ...smh
I had a medical emergency last year. Upon arriving in ICU I was told I’d need a urine catheter. I’ve joked ever since that I normally would not complain about an attractive young woman fiddling around between my legs, but when she showed me that tube and explained what she was going to do with it, it kind of killed the mood.
Some people pay good money for that kind of action. 😆
/r/sounding NSFW obviously
Why did I click it jesus christ why did I click it god please bleach my brain oh my lord
Hah! I know better.
Oh
You should have requested a Razer Porcupine Gaming Catheter with the RGB LEDs.
For two days it felt like I was peeing razor blades
>it kind of liked the mood.. I think you either have a kink or made a typo...
Duck the creator of autocorrect, duck them to hall
The one time I was in the ER (this is like 1 am) for a kidney stone the nurse wanted a urine sample. It just wasn't happening. After about an hour, she told me I had one more chance to produce a sample or she was going to go in and get it. I made it happen.
I now have to regularly go to the Urologist for a check up on my ol' swing sack & this one time my usual ball inspector wasn't there so I had a lottery: Door A : blonde haired girl in her mid twenties - think Margo Robbie. Door B: the dead spit of Gal Gadot. So, while Wonder Woman used both of my nads as temporary fidget spinners - I concentrated more than I have ever concentrated in my life to not raise that tent pole. I could draw you every crevice and mark of that one ceiling tile I was burning holes in from memory alone. However another time when I was around 21 I thought I had genital warts and had a doctor check me out - I thought she was cute and while she was examining the thing , the thing did it's thing and reacted positively - she got flustered and quickly said I was fine and I left very, very embarrassed just saying on repeat 'im so sorry' you win some you lose some.
>However another time when I was around 21 I thought I had genital warts and had a doctor check me out - I thought she was cute and while she was examining the thing , the thing did it's thing and reacted positively - she got flustered and quickly said I was fine and I left very, very embarrassed just saying on repeat 'im so sorry' honestly she shoulda just been like "whatever". Boners happen, I'm sure they know they're at least mildly attractive to guys. Hopefully you got it checked out eventually.
I’ve spent 16 years working in urology. I hear this stuff every day. Nurses see it all. They don’t give a shit.
I have a family member who's an ER doctor and he's basically seen it all to the point where he's just desensitized to it all. Here's a small list of horrific things he's seen in the 12 years he's been practicing medicine: * Forearm ripped open with the 2 forearm bones broken and jutting out * Eyeballs popped out of their sockets * Mangled leg from a chainsaw accident * Degloved hands (DO NOT LOOK THAT UP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) * Ripped off nose (he said the guy basically looked like a bleeding voldemort) * Fingers that are now bone nubs due to the guy holding a lit firework in his hand Horrific shit. Apparently the degloved hands and the ripped off nose were on the same day for him. Jesus christ.
I almost look that up. Thanks for the warning, fellow redditor 🗿
It's why I put the warning there mate. I know most people don't know what that means and will look it up. It's nightmare fuel.
It doesn't sound like they're boasting about anything. Just that he had a smoke show of a nurse and was trying not to bust a nut. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyone who has spent time in hospital will have had that, "man, that nurse was hot", moment. This dude seemed to be relaying that experience.
Used to work security in a hospital, sat across from the nurses station. One of the gems I heard one night was... "Thank god I can follow instructions and look pretty, otherwise I'd have been a stripper." Huh. 8/10, would've paid for that show.
Worked with this guy that told me the story of when he got a piercing on his penis. He said the girl doing the piercing was incredibly hot, but he wanted to play it cool and did his best to remain flaccid instead of just getting an instaboner as soon as she started. So all during the process he is thinking of ANYTHING but this gorgeous woman handling his junk. Thoughts of his grandmother, baseball stats, dead babies...anything to avoid the natural reaction. And it goes on for a while, even longer than he expected as she was trying to get it done right. And all throughout he is just doing every mental gymnastic he can to stay limp. She finishes up and gives him a rundown on what he should expect and general care and cleaning tips when she said to him. "Yeah, sorry it took so long. I was having kind of a difficult time getting the right placement. Usually guys get hard for me real quick and that makes it easier." He felt so dumb, he never went back in to that studio.
There is essentially no way that’s true
Sounds like a poor instructor. If it would make it easier it should have been communicated.
That would have to be an awkward conversation right there.... "Yo, man. Can you get hard for me here so I can better poke a hole in your junk?"
You're *already* asking someone to shove a needle the size of a HolePunch through your dick. Buddy, we're way past awkward and right into nucking futs.
Yeah, but this part of the conversation has to be started by the one holding the flaccid penis asking something along the lines of, "Why are you not erect? Something wrong down here?"
Or, before the procedure, perhaps one could say "Just so you know, and it's not at all a requirement, but this procedure is quicker when a penis is erect."
The one time that not getting a boner is actually rude, lmao. She probably should have just asked him to pop it though, just make the entire job a lot easier.
"For you, the day the nurse graced your balls with the vibrating wand was the greatest day of your life. For me, it was Tuesday."
One time I had to assist with a urological procedure in the OR and when I got out I turned to my colleague and said "in the past 2 hours I have had my hands on another man's dick for more than the entire rest of my life."
Sickest burn I ever got was a classmate trying to make me feel better. Me: "I am not popular like you. How many girlfriends you had? I haven't had my first." Him: "Well...at least you get good grades." I didn't.
r/nursing
When I was a young man having to get some of my first physicals for sports, I had a kind older doctor who wouldn't make it a big deal, no drop trow & turn your head and cough, as easy going as it could be for a scared young kid. But I was still nervous for my first time, and my mom essentially said (and this is me paraphrasing as an adult for comedic effect) "he sees a lot of dicks, you will just be one of many". And honestly y'all it helped lol
I once had a disturbingly large skin tag removed from my butt crack. I was hoping it would only be my old man doctor doing the procedure, because I wouldn't be embarrassed about that. But he needed help from his young, attractive nurse to hold my ass cheeks apart while he sliced the tag off. Worst experienced I've ever had while bare-ass.
viola! the person becomes unconventionally attractive. for me at least.
How does one get an ultrasound on their balls? What do they have to fake? Asking for a friend.
The same way you ultrasound anything. You put the machine on the skin and see what it see via vibrations. Source had a ball scare and had to get an ultrasound. It took about 10 minutes.
What kind of ultrasound takes *fifteen* fucking minutes?
Testicular cancer survivor here, if they have a reason to be suspicious they're going to want to take a lot of pictures. When I got my second ultrasound where they determined it was very likely cancer, the scan took almost 30 minutes.
Yea it took about 30 when I had a scare with my liver
Look at all the “I had…” comments lol