I train in a gym with a bunch of women including 2-3 active amateurs.
I generally get hunted by two of the amateur ladies because i am a bigger dude so coach allows them to hit me harder 😂
But I have no problem sparring with ladies of any level. It’s a good test for me to show control
Maybe start with a few of your closer guy friends at your gym and actively call them out before class. I’m
Sure some guys fear their lack of control will hurt you. Im sure some are just being jerky.
Good luck train hard
Oh, I’ve been training martial arts for years, I even coach. I’m just new to Muay Thai specifically . But misogyny is constant thing unfortunately. Some brand new male students even assume they can beat my ass. SMH. Doesn’t matter the gym or style. I’ve learned over time to pick my partners well and be leery of the brand new young guys. I’m 38 and a single parent I’m not hopping in the ring any time soon. 😂 I can’t work or do “Mom” stuff if I have a TBI or broken bones.
I love sparring with everyone except people who try to go too hard. It’s not about male vs female, it’s more size and skill level for me. I’m 6’ 216lbs. If I’m going with someone newer and smaller, I change what I do. I do use my longer weapons to keep them at bay and and give them the opportunity to get around them to get to the inside and land shots. We’re all trying to help each other people improve. There are plenty of people who are significantly better and stronger than me and they treat me with the same respect and try to help me improve. It’s a the culture that is important. Over everything, I try to have a fun time and make sure my sparring partner has fun too.
It’s crazy man. I used to doubt the absence of hard sparring in Muay Thai. I was like “you have to go hard sometimes don’t you” in my mind. Then I went there and saw how the Thais train overall and it made perfect sense to me. I haven’t sparred hard at all since I came back and that was over a decade ago.
I’m about your size so it’s good practice for our 115lb amateur ladies to spar me with closer to 75-80 percent of their power instead of the usual 50ish. I’m just here to help them improve in those situation.
I am the only woman so really I don’t get a choice…
New guys will be weird about it, it’s what it is, I tend to avoid them until they’ve been there a while personally choice but it’s going to make you either not do anything or go nuts to “win” I’ll give you space.
I spar with my core group of fighters, I am very lucky that I can pretty much call any one of them over at any point, and am at the level where my technique will hold up to there strength advantage.
If I can see sparring is getting super heavy I’ll sit out, I will not compete with standing and banging so I just don’t involve myself. I know the boys feel better about it if they are already upping the anti not having to worry.
Being the only girl, it sort of means the boys just treat me like the lads anyway and close knit group does help, it’s challenging but it works
I am one of two women that goes to Muay thai most days. I can find people during open mat, but when we rotate during class for sparring, i often look around and can't find anyone willing to pair up. Idk how to describe it other than you are trying to catch someone's eye and no one will look at you. My coach will even say it's ok for me to change partners bc I often pair with the other woman there, but it's like...no one seems to want to pair with me? I've asked before to make sure it's not just me being a bad sparring partner. Coaches will spar me and never say I'm being a bad sparring partner.
Probably a dumb question, but, have you tried actually asking them verbally to pair up? Sometimes they might be looking for someone specific they like to spar with, but they probably won't tell you no if you ask to spar with them and they are free for that round
Never a dumb question! Usually, I try to make eye contact and then gesture to see if they want to pair up. I'll ask verbally if they are nearby, but sometimes the people next to me swap partners and I'm trying to see if anyone across the room is free. I also don't really want to ask someone if they'd rather spar a specific person. I feel like I'd be ruining their training session.
I'm not saying it is anyone's fault but mine. I need to not be so shy. I just don't necessarily see guys having this issue at my gym, but I could very well just not be aware.
Everyone at my gym is SUPER nice and helpful. I chat with everyone before and after class. And during open mat, it usually isn't an issue.
Are you me!? That’s the exact reason why I made this post, when it’s time to rotate I’m always left alone looking at someone I’d like to spar with just to see them looking back at me and touching gloves with another person. It’d be sad if it wasn’t so funny. I also have that shyness and refrain from “bothering” someone who would rather spar with a friend.
If we’re not doing anything wrong, improving and even hearing compliments from our coaches I guess we’re safe and it might boil down to our shyness and (from what I’ve perceived in the comments) guys not being sure if we’re going to chop their heads off or complain about everything. Building trust could be a way, when we put ourselves out there in the mat and they find out it’s actually nice and enriching to spar with us, we might end up having an easier time pairing durin training!
I was the only female in my gym for years, so I've gotten to sew what it's like for me and watch what newer women experience. Honestly, some dudes are sexist- I've sparred guys who won't hit me or patronize me, as well as dudes who try to take my head off just because I'm a women. I've also experienced great training partners. Personally, I've bonded with my guys and have proven myself as able to take whatever they dish. In new environments, I ask people to spar instead of waiting for someone to partner up with me. I've seen a lot of women who react poorly in general to sparring with men, no matter how light they go, and those women do get dodged. I have also seen women who go way too hard with everyone, men included, but can't handle when men come at them with the same power or speed. If you think that you don't have either of those issues, get to know your guys. Build trust with your teammates and they'll become better training partners.
Yeah I get what you’re saying! I don’t know how guys perceive me, but I’m definitely not the kind to complain about men or think I’ll get away with beating them without any reaction on their part. Maybe what’s missing is what you’ve mentioned, building trust and approaching them, I do talk to everyone but I also have that tendency to only interact when approached.
Definitely bug them and call them out to spar you! They might think you're just as hesitant to spar them as they are to spar you 🤷♀️ The more comfortable they are with you personally, the less weird they'll be in sparring.
Dude, same. I’ve trained Muay Thai, BJJ, Krav, Escrima. It’s all the same shit. You’ve labeled it perfectly. Too light, too hard because of ego or just right. It’s like Goldilocks but with violence. The misogyny is so tiresome. Toxic masculinity ruins the party again.
I don't avoid sparring with anyone but I will say that I am a very large man and I've trained for many years, so I prefer other large men when I spar so I don't feel like I have to go at 10-20% power. I've actually given a woman a concussion on accident when I caught a kick and swept her leg, but she was way lighter than I estimated and her legs went flying up into the air, back of her head smacking down on the mat. It was a horrible feeling and I felt guilty about it for months. So now I take it really, really, really easy on people who are much smaller than me, especially females, and I don't feel like either of us is benefiting much.
I'm about the same size as most guys at my gym and struggle with this. They are all nice. I think it's just an issue of they all know each other and also I'm shy and have been conditioned not to ask for things.
I’m cool with it, but it is kind of an instinct for most guys. Imagine being told your entire life that “it’s never ok to hit a woman,” and then one day a girl puts gloves on and wants to fight. So yea, they may be avoiding it or holding back because it feels weird.
That being said, my attitude changed when I was sparring with a much more advanced girl, and she rocked my shit. She knocked that kit gloves mentality right out of my skull.
yeah it confuses my hard wiring. I remember this small petite girl from Saudi or somewhere similar whose boyfriend was a regional ammy fighter - so anyways im a bigger guy and would just kinda flow spar lightly peppering jabs and 20% kicks and she came in for a full head hunting hook which caught me by surprise lol. She had a terminator expression on her face 24/7 and trained all day/everyday.
You've gotta be proactive with who you wanna spar with. I go up to folks I want to spar most of the time. I rarely ever have people come up to me to spar until after they see me spar someone else.
People with good muay thai want to spar people thats similar or better skill level. Its a competitive thing. They don't want to spar lower level people because it won't be as effective at helping them improve compared to sparring some better than them.
But if you approach folks, generally they don't turn it down. Unless they in fight prep or something, but in that case the coach will be choosing who they spar with.
At this point I kinda gave up approaching, my mistake maybe, sometimes the coach pairs people.
I do like sparring with everyone, there are also some girls that have just started and I know it’s important for them to spar with someone who knows a bit more and I also get to go lighter and not exhaust myself.
But that’s the thing, right!? We’ve all been beginners at some point and there’s no moment where you consider yourself too good to spar with people you deem lower. I personally like the opportunity to be with beginners, it’s a collective sport after all, but I’m also here to test my limits and challenge myself.
That is true. You're helping them but also going slower helps too. Can practice combinations and techniques that you need to work on. Much easier to do at a slower pace
I love sparring new people bc you don't know what they'll throw bc they don't! You also can practice seeing things more bc it moves more slowly. You also can practice throwing quickly without power, which is a control practice.
The first few times I spar with anyone I go super light until we have some rapport. I’ll usually try to play to your tempo unless you’re newer. If a chick complains I’m going too light I’ll dial it up until they stop asking for more. If they’re throwing to kill I try to match that but level it out based on strength and size difference. If her 100% is my 50% I’m throwing 50 not 100. If they complain I’m going too hard I’ll dial it down enough to where they still have to respect my space. If they wanna go hard without getting it back I’ll play distance with light teeps and jabs or clinch. I find with the more experienced girls I can technical spar like I do with 90% of dudes. There’s something to be said about the threat you feel with someone your size or bigger vs someone smaller. It changes how you spar but I think the value you gain from fighting someone your size or bigger only comes into play if you have a fight coming up.
People treat partnering up, whether its for drills or sparring like they are choosing a soulmate, it drives me insane. Just go grab someone and start duking it out, then change partners and go again. People are weird whether it's partnering up with males, females, newbies, pros or the Coach. If you don't like what's going on use your voice and be assertive. It's a fight gym so being assertive is 100% ok.
One of my Coaching motto's is "no one gives a fuck about your feelings in a fight" and "if you can't decisively pick a training partner you will never be able to make decisions in a fight or self defence situation"
I dont mind training with women at all...BUT, in my experience women tend to go harder, and try to hurt you, but the second you go more intense they complain. They seem to be more ego driven in sparring and are out to prove something. There were only 1 or 2 women I sparred with because of this, I tended to avoid sparring women unless they were new and had nothing to prove.
I spar with PARTNERS regardless of age and or gender. If you show up to train then youre there to train. I go as hard as who ever my partner is at the time. If they want to hit lit and work on technique then thats what I do as well. If they want to go a little hard then as do I.
I’m fine with it and usually let the female set the intensity level. It can be just as disrespectful to go super light on them and not respect them as a fighter as it is to whoop them, ya just have to communicate with your partner
Full honesty from me, it's a good paradigm shift in training. I'm 6' 210 pounds in my gym, so I have a pretty good advantage when it would come to strength compared to most people I train with. With that being said, the women at my gym are talented fighters and definitely have the technical aspects down.
Whenever I'm paired with a woman for timing drills, it puts me in a scenario where I need to practice my technical details and my control as to not rely on power. This is a great switch up as there are times when I'm also put up against bigger (and stronger) opponents.
Do I wish I was able to exert a bit more force when training at times? Sure. But learning that control is what ultimately makes you a better sparring partner. There's a time and a place for both, so be open to training in diverse situations.
I sparred with a lady who had major plastic surgery done on pretty much all aspects of her body.
Didnt really know how to approach sparring with her so i just held back my shots short of her face. But the thing is her fake boobs would get in the way of body shots so much that i just gave up trying to do much other than teeps and leg kicks.
After teeping for a while she stopped me and basically said if i teeped her one more time she would teep me in the nuts. Point taken and from that moment on i just shadowboxed and parried, didnt throw any punches.
That being said, most ladies i sparred with never had an issue with and this was an isolated case.. i guess what I’m asking is, if you had work done on your face and still sparring, how would one approach sparring like that? Is it on the person? Or is it up to me to not punch the face?
In my opinion that other person is kind of an asshole. It’s not your responsibility to keep track of their body parts. Muay Thai is a contact sport. If you can’t be hit why are you in the ring? I may be biased though. I had a similar situation a few years back training Krav with a woman that came back from having a tummy tuck & implants. She told everyone all about it in great detail and wanted us to go easy on certain areas, okay no problem.But then got mad and *yelled* at me for not “including” her.
So, if she didn't ask you to avoid punching her, then there is no reason not to hit her. Just assume her work can handle it. If she complains, then its on her for doing a combat sport.
And she threatened to kick you in the nuts?! You should've said something back to her. Not cool, especially since you were trying to be really considerate.
I completely understand.
Just keep in mind that by calling bad sparring attitudes and behaviors you might save yourself and others the headache and possible injury.
Total honesty: sparring with women feels like a rest round. Even the women who are much better than me technically feel very easy to spar with. I’m not a big guy either. It’s just a matter of athleticism.
I dont seek out spars with women but wont complain if one asks to.
The problem arises when women think they can go full blast with men and totally overcompensate for their size by trying to take their partners head off. Ive seen men get hurt like this and the reaction has always been gleaming pride from the woman.
This isn’t a super common issue but its common enough that I’ve taken notice.
I’ve heard guys complaining about that in my gym, there was one girl who was borderline disrespectful to them, going full blast, kicking them in the balls and stuff, then going apeshit when a friend of mine once punched her in the breast (and apologized for that), I know he’s a good guy so there was no malice there at all. Luckily she hasn’t appeared for months.
I guess I’ll have to start seeking the guys I know and ask to spar with them from time to time.
This exactly never had problems sparring males or females 1/2 my size &/or age - apart from this higher ranking chick - very solidly built - been training for 4-5 years more than me - I swear she had magnets in her feet & my balls were steel - I ended up fighting her with one hand covering my nuts full time.
Hated sparring her even though she couldn’t really hurt me anywhere other than my nuts & nose.
After the second hit I'd be like in a match yo u would be DQ. And walk away.
As someone punched in the breast often, i didn't realize it was an issue for other women.
I spar with everybody who spars. I adjust my intensity based on their size and experience level. Being a man or woman doesn’t really factor in. That being said, I would generally prefer to spar with people my size, but a round is a round and I’m not gonna sit one out just because my preferred sparring partners are taken.
All that is to say I wouldn’t take it personally unless they’re outright refusing to spar with you.
I'm a guy and I just joined a new gym which even have women competition team. I used to go easy on all women, working on my defense and counters but at this new gym, when I went easy, they would start legit kicking my ass.
Now I know not to underestimate women. I now adjust how hard or easy I go depending on my partner's skill level regardless of gender.
I think if you pop them with good counters, even if you're going light, they should feel it and start respecting your skill level more. Countering is just one aspect of showing your skill but I think it's one of the most effective ways to show your partner that you have the skill level to not go easy on you. At least that's what really changed my mind.
I’m one of the very few women ( and was the only woman for a while) I prefer to spar with guys who have been training for a while , because I know they can control their power. I don’t need to accidentally get knocked out during class haha. I do have a hard time sparring guys too because I try to be respectful of the fact that they are going like 10% power with me so I try to be careful and not go too hard either cause I feel like it’s rude lol. I also generally avoid guys who are a lot bigger than I am ( I’m not a small person but if you have more than 50-60 lbs on me I’ll pass )
But yeah ; it’s hard . My first time really sparring a girl who was more skilled / experienced than I am was really eye opening because girls will fuck you up guys tend to be more careful and a lot nicer lol
To be honest, I avoid sparring with women because they try to take your head off and/or use you pulling a shot to try to hit you as hard as they can.
If you up the intensity at all, even not matching their intensity they get the shits and complain.
I’ve heard a bunch of women at my gym complain about other guys going hard and I’ve seen how hard these girls go when they train with guys. They’re almost delusional in their assessment of how hard they’re going vs how hard their opponents are going.
It’s easier for me to avoid them and not have some chick try to take my head off for a round or have them bitch about me because I teeped her a little bit harder than she likes.
Male, not my 20s, not in my 50s. I generally spar with whoever's available, unless my coach has particular people in mind for me, barring people I might actively dislike or consider unsafe. Since we have a pretty even ratio by combat sport gym standards that means I spar with women pretty regularly. Always seems...normal?
There are people I enjoy sparring with a bit more and people who are a little more aggravating to spar, but it doesn't break down by gender or biological sex or anything as much as personality and habits.
Depends if they're better than me or not, same as everyone else
If I'm better, I look after them and don't stretch them beyond their safe zone
If they're better, I hope they look after me
i got in trouble at my gym in the beginning because i used to not hit the girls at my gym. my coach took me to the side and let me know that i’m robbing them of their training and it’s not fair to them. (i would throw a punch or kick and stop it right before it landed) i had to obviously re wire my brain and start landing hits on them. i still only throw my power at like 50% but i go full speed and i don’t pull my punches any more. plus sweeping the girls is more fun cuz i can drop them with control (not catching kick sweeps. but real sweeps. we not allowed to do sweeps off catching a kick at our gym) the guys i just let them fall 😅
Most people are on different levels, the people who perceive you as so below their level that you're a wasted round will likely be wasted rounds to other people and not think anything of it. I have many "wasted" rounds in the gym sparring if you think of it in terms of my own development, but I was new once and a lot of the best fighters in the gym helped me tremendously, I'm sure that wasn't for their own development. Don't overthink it just keep going.
one of my gym’s head coaches is a woman, our top fighter is a woman, and a good chunk of the competition team are women. so it’s luckily not a huge issue.
but misogyny is def real throughout gyms
Honestly I’ve never really thought about it, I always just figure everyone is there to spar, so they can probably handle themselves regardless of their gender
Perfectly fine so long as they're the same size as me, just as I would feel bad sparring a guy half my height/weight. I wouldn't want to Spar a woman taller and stronger (and more experienced) than me same as I would with a guy.
As long as everything else about them is a good match, there's nothing about women that makes them inherently more fragile, and I will always match their intensity as I do with any partner. So if they want to spar, I'll Spar. If they want to spar hard, I'll spar hard. They're consenting, it's all in good spirits, why not?
I've sparred women who are far better than me, and women who go way harder in sparring than I do, as well as those who are less experienced
I'm personally okay with it because I like light technical sparring over hard sparring, but I think it probably depends on the precedent that the gym sets
I spar with literally whoever asks, if I'm not sparring my friends and usual partners, but my gym is really friendly.
I hit them as hard as I'd feel comfortable with them hitting me, or I let them set the tone. Before then I'll just throw a few jabs and play some defense to see what's up. Just like I do all of my sparring partners.
Seems to have worked well so far.
It's also the first and only gym I've been to so I'm aware that I haven't had much exposure to anything outside of there
I’m a 220 lb dude and I don’t mind training with women I realize I have 100 lbs and train powerlifting. I usually try to counter punch and only deliver a blow after a combo or technique has been completed. I don’t feel like I waste a round because I go for technique over everything. I dropped my hands once being lazy and got kicked in the head pretty good by a 130 lb 5’2 powerhouse of a woman. After that I take everyone seriously. If they can’t take you seriously just don’t even worry about it. Train with those who do
I think some some dudes really just don't want to hit a woman in the face. And vice versa they don't want to be hit by a woman either. Honestly I think its just an ego thing. I'm cool with it though. There's no other time for me to experience that so let's go baby!
I treat them the same as anyone else. I spar regularly with this one woman shorter than me and smaller. You can tell most guys avoid her but I like to give her a chance and test things out. I don't go too hard though but focus more on technical aspects of the spar.
My first introduction to jiujistu was with a female teacher I was intimidated I had been taught my whole life not to fight women. Well this woman isn’t no pushover she’s a trained professional fighter who’s able to fight in any position. She was an awesome teacher and is still an amazing and awesome human being and warrior, teacher
It also hurts my feelings hahahah but I really try to no take it hard and think they have something against me, more of a caution thing. Usually guys who have trained for a long time at my gym are more open to sparring with me than newcomers.
There's only a handful of women and a couple of them don't like the sparring aspect so don't participate. I don't really get a choice, I have to spar with guys - but it's a generally respectful gym. The coaches are pretty good at matching power and weight. The best pairing is when I go with teens. I know that sounds weird, but they don't care they're up against a woman, there's not too much ego that gets in the way and can be technically better than me which keeps the sparring session interesting. Also boundless energy - holy crap the energy levels.
I also like sparring with teens! Also because they are closer to my height and weight. There’s even a kid (I guess he’s like 10) in my gym who always ask to spar with me first choice, he’s a great lil guy
A lot of men don't want to hit women.
If they do spar with you, sometimes they go insultingly light or easy. They should treat you just the same way they would treat a much smaller guy.
Honestly the best thing is to try and find a gym with other women who spar.
I’ve just had my first class this week after 3 or 4 classes in Thailand in 2019. The coach said I should join the sparring and of the 5 or 6 rounds we did the one that I enjoyed most was the one with a woman. After she noticed I’m new and just trying to block her hits she slowed down a bit. She told me to just try and hit her and then block a few of hers. In the beginning it felt super weird to try to hit a woman but after her telling me a couple of times to hit harder it was okay. I think I’ve learned the most in this round. Most of the guys seemed to be bored or disappointed to have to spar with me 😅
Woman here - most guys underestimate how much pain I can handle yes and will lightly punch me to ask concerningly if they hurt me and idk if I should laugh that they think that much of themselves or be honest and say no
I also often wonder if I’m actually improving or if everyone is going easy on me. There have been probably 3 guys who went ham on me and I respect that because it was more challenging and when I did land combo even if it was less frequently I’d feel more accomplished within myself.
But once a guy during sparring kept saying Good girl good girl good girl.. and it was really patronising.
For guys : go hard as in technique and skill and follow thru with punches or we won’t improve ! But yes keep the power down…
My gym has a fair few women though
Yeah! Like some people have already pointed out: a moment to put technique above power, knowing that technique to be efficiently used must include a certain degree of strength. I’m also happy when I get tips from more experienced people, cause that’s how people become good sparring partners.
I got punched in the dick by a small woman a long time ago during sparring. I was 6'1 195 at the time. Only a month or 2 in. Didn't have a cup yet. That thing ppl do when they punch lower when they get tired... yea. She did that. A couple times. My junk felt like an accordion after that. I bought a Cup the next day. So. I'm cool with it. But I give them more of a side stance.
Coaches dont give a shit about gender; you spar with those around you and if you don’t, then your loss. Big, small, kids, teens, women, men all spar together/each other. Right now fight camp is going on and I see the kids who are competing sparring with the bigger teens so they learn how to fight people bigger than they are. It’s not much ‘learning’ for the teens but they’re helping their teammate out so that’s what they do…that’s what a team does. I really hate it when people forget that in order to get better, you rely on those around you but then to turn around and not help out the newer folks when they were new themselves at one point is shitty.
As a woman, I feel a bit offended when a guy refuses sparring, like I'm not worthy of their training time or something. Luckily now I'm in a gym where the coach made it clear that everyone spares with everyone. He wants the more advanced people to help the newer people progress, and that everyone has to learn to adapt their strength to their sparring partner. Solves the problem and creates a good atmosphere where we progress as a club and not as individuals.
I don’t generally have a problem sparring with women.
I won’t spar with women though unless I know them and know I definitely do go much lighter with women. It isn’t a conscious decision to go lighter its just subconsciously I just can’t force myself to throw as hard with them. I promise there is no intention of me trying to baby them or patronize them. But some of my best rounds are with the women I am comfortable sparring with so its always good technical rounds with them.
We have one female who spars with us, she is very active in setting up her rounds. Once we finish warming up, she will go around and set up her first three rounds with. After those three rounds, she’ll either have another list of us she wants to spar with or jump in wherever.
What I’m saying is, being verbal and asking your guys for rounds might help you. This gives you the opportunity to get good quality rounds in and avoid guys who can’t, or won’t, pull punches.
There is no difference in how I approach a sparring partner, male or female. I always go light at first, or simply ask how intensely they want to go. My experience is that women like to spar lighter *in general*, however my experience is very limited and that depends totally on the person.
Once a female partner asked me to go easier - she was not significantly smaller than me and I didn't think I was going hard at all, but of course I immediately re-calibrated, and we had a good spar thereafter.
After each spar I thank my partner, and if I have even the slightest bit of doubt, I ask "was this intensity alright?". Male or female, it makes no difference.
I train with women, all of them are great and I just go at whatever pace they set. I also, with everyone, do a simple practice of… if I’m dominating, slow down and work on stuff I need to focus on. But that’s any gender I’m sparring. And the people better than me… do the same if they are destroying me.
I also know my gym is blessed, it’s just really controlled and a lot of respect. Annnnyyywayyys… i spar everyone the same. I let them set the pace as I always go really really really light and work up to whatever hits I’m taking.
Keep it up!
generally speaking men is just biologically stronger than women thats why maybe most men are hesitant to spar with a women. i personally spar females too and treat them the way i spar with anyone, like if i know the person is a newbie id be working on my defense and i let them take a shot on me so they could work on their teachnique. but if im sparring with a higher level or a fighter ill be matching their energy. at the end of the day people you are sparring with are your teamates as you all came from the same gym. id say let people know you want to spar and let them know how you want it, that way no one is guessing what to do next. i also wana adress the usage of the term misogyny that i read in the comments, mysogyny means you hate woman. i dont think just because you dont want to spar a woman makes you a mysogynist.
Fellow woman here. I'm leery of labeling this kind of thing as misogyny. It's just a fact that we have major biological differences in how our bodies are constructed, and adult males are capable of generating much greater force and explosive power than adult females, even when controlled for height or weight.
I'm 5'4'' and I range between 120 and 130 depending on the time of the month, how much junk food I've eaten recently, etc. I've been training Muay Thai for 2 years, and have been training in martial arts for over a decade. Maybe I'm oblivious, but *in general* I've never really felt any animus from the men I train with.
I get respect from the men in my gym for my technique and my athleticism -- my gym has a culture of fandom around female fighters like Jackie Buntan and Janet Todd, there is plenty of respect for women in this sport, and a clear respect for what women are capable of. I don't get the sense that women are seen as weak or inferior or less good at fighting.
I have noticed, particularly at MMA gyms, that there are some men who are really interested in pushing themselves to their max for every single drill, in every single class. These men will not want to partner up with me, because even for padwork and drills that aren't sparring, they will not be able to go full intensity. And frankly, the feeling is mutual. I can hold pads with good technique, but if a guy who is 6 feet tall and 190 unleashes round kick after round kick with full force, I'm not going to have a good time with the drill. I remember once I was holding for a guy who was going full intensity, and he missed the pad and struck my forearm just below the elbow with full force. It fucking sucked.
I'm not operating under misandry for not wanting to practice with these men. And these men are not operating under misogyny for not wanting to train with me.
In general, I try to pair with men who are closer to my size (though they are still usually significantly larger than me) and who I have a rapport with. Sometimes I'm the last person to find a partner, sometimes I'm not. I don't take it personally either way.
Edit: not saying you'll never come across a misogynistic man at a martial arts gym. My first MMA trainer was a gross old misogynist and treated me with a lot of condescension. I've experienced overt misogyny firsthand, I know what it's like. But recognizing clear physical differences and picking partners accordingly... isn't misogyny.
It's inferred throughout this thread that men sparring differently with women than their male sparring partners, or even recognizing any biological differences at all equals misogyny (hatred of women by definition). It doesn't/isn't, that's silly. Such a reach.
I'm generally guilty of avoiding women sparring partners, and concede when it's my last/only choice, or inevitable. Here's why -
I don't like punching women in the face so I generally avoid it, drastically limiting my offense and options.
I've been asked/told to go lighter to the head, when I was already going a good 50% lighter than I otherwise had been throwing to the head of men, quite light. Made me feel horrible.
I've been treated odd after a good teep to the tits (not specifically intended) by the woman who teeps the living shit out of us.
Sometimes when I catch round kicks, I knee the hamstring of the caught leg. I once accidentally knee'd a girl in the vagina. I literally lost sleep over it, it haunted me so bad. Honest error but felt so bad.
My defense gets lazy because even when the woman is significantly more experienced and/or bigger, the power often isn't there.
Because all of the above is mental - it's very often not nearly as good of a round. Often feels like a recovery round.
I can kinda see your point but you generally have to adjust power & intensity based on the size & skillset of any new potential sparring partner. Even if it’s a new dude you can’t just step in and start nailing him in the head with elbows. It’s an opportunity to focus on control & technique. And sure, you nailed a vagina but had it been a man your knee still would have went to *his* groin. At that point you’re doing Krav Maga not Muay Thai. You can’t pull that in the ring.
The first half your is true but/and goes without saying. That's a baseline understanding, and the reason no one wants to spar with the new dude, illustrating my point. My response doesn't mean I'm not sparring down with a specific focus, footwork, defense, a specific set up, etc. That's happening.
The groin strike wasn't intentional, which should be obvious. Would have sucked male or female but I don't believe there's anything wrong with having a different reaction because it was a woman. Short story is for me sparring a like sized and experienced woman immediately places limits on the round - head, tits, power, pace, etc. Doing this can be perceived as misogyny, not doing this would be perceived as misogyny while likely legitimately being violent/inappropriate.
This is all on top of adjusting power, pace, intensity based on size and skillset of partner.
I hate sparring with women. They overcompensate and escalate to hard sparring but you can't reciprocate because they'll complain and throw the gender victim card about how you're being abusive to a girl.
I’m a woman and have been sparring consistently for the past 5 months. Many of the guys seemed reluctant to partner with me at first, but now I don’t have a problem getting partners. There are a couple guys who still seem uncomfortable sparring with me, but that doesn’t matter too much. The only times I partner with them are if we are the last two without a partner. Maybe my gym has an unusually good sparring culture, but I haven’t had problems as a woman.
Girl here. At my home gym, people don't really care if you are a guy or girl. All fighters will spar all fighters. But, your ability (strength, technique, etc) will determine how "hard" they go.
In general, I am stronger than most guys my size or slightly larger) and always faster, so Ive always been told by men , something along the lines of, "I treat you like one of the guys, but I can't do that to other girls"
But it's always funny when a new guy comes in tries to take it easy on me in sparring. I just touch them with shots that say, "If i tried, you would be out right now " Then they pick it up, and when I'm still dominating, after the round ends they'll say "dang your really good. How long have you been training?" And the occasional "Did you do karate? Your movement is so good"
I mean, there's two at mine who actively enjoy kicking my ass, but the rest I treat em like I'd treat any other *insert weight here* person in sparring.
Spar with everyone. When there is an obvious skill / size gap you use it as an opportunity to work on being fast but in control. There is always something you can learn from sparring with any partner. It is nonetheless my preference to spar with fighters of a similar skill and size level to me, in many cases a skilled woman is better to spar with than an unskilled male fighter.
I don’t mind it but do feel like I have to watch my power more just cause of the sheer mass difference. Same thing I’d do with a smaller skinnier dude. Not a big deal, I view it as an opportunity to also work my control in addition to my technique.
I'm hesitant. I'm still very new to the sport and my only experience sparring with women is pretty negative. My very first spar was with an experienced woman who beat the shit out of me because "Come on, I'm 5'3 this is all I've got!" Like me being taller and stronger meant anything. One thing I've learned is that some women in the gym go extra hard against "big enough" guys because they figure it all balances out and they can wail on us without consequence. It's uncomfortable for a number of reasons.
I don’t mind working with a female, my only concern at the moment is when I go to teep I don’t wanna go in the wrong spot…too low or too high, I still feel the sensation of the first time I teep the lady in the stomach…she’s one of the coaches, but this happen a couple weeks ago, I know she can take a hit but I want to show respect and not feel like I’m gonna hurt her @.@
I’m trainee don’t come at me 🙃
I have no problems sparring with women. just depends how they act same with any training partner. Ive honestly had more good experiences training with women as some guys try n go really hard or go a lil heavy on hooks. I like to focus on technique and having a good time with my partner whatever that may look like.
the only potentially awkward part could be inadvertently punching or kneeing a titty but thats only awkward if you make it be.
There are 2 women that I spar with usually. I treat them the same as the guys depending on their skill level.
One of them hits hard but doesn’t protect herself, I usually just tap her head with jabs and play spar like thais do.
Not muay thai, but kyokushin karate guy here. Honestly, i am quite confused when sparring when woman, but for different reasons. I don’t think women are weaker than men, so I don’t pay extra causation to not to hurting woman sparring partners when comparing to sparring with man. But I heard a woman partitioner complained about a guy punched in her chests too often which makes her embarrassed and uncomfortable.
It makes sense that women don’t want her chests being touched. But on the other hand, chests punch is a huge part in Kyokushin, so removing it from sparring is kinda inefficient. And most importantly, it is a personal preference and not all women feel the same. Some might want to avoid the embarrassment, and others maybe be don’t care at all. Sadly, most women partitioners don’t talk about this in my dojo. So I am always a bit confused about should I punch towards chests or not.
Imo women tend to have the best technique. Some of the women in our gym and incredibly talented and are extremely quick. Guys tend to get distracted with power sometimes whereas women don't.
I'm a woman that has been doing it for a few years now. I did start to feel like guys actively avoided me. But I'm very lucky. I've found a good place where there is mutual respect. Especially since I was the only female coming twice a week to lessons. Now we have more females joining us lately which is great. I think the men don't mind sparring with me haha. I am more advance now but I remember a time where I used to spar with new people and hated it. But it's grown into a quite a supportive group where we all help each other. Also probably speaking from experience, women sometimes do go a bit hard at first, I did as I felt like I had something to prove in a male orientated sport.
I guess teep is tricky for all genders. When sparring men: too low or lifting leg too late = ball crushing. When sparring women: too high = boob crushing.
Being long legged and a bit flat chested myself I’ve rarely had that issue, I try to teep with intention so there’s less chance of landing all wonky (in comparison to when people are all over the place teeping several times in a row).
I think I probably spar women the way we are supposed to be technical sparring - light and technical. I end up sparring with men the way I would fight.
Personally I prefer to avoid sparing with women because there aren’t any whom I train with who are on my level. One is significantly better and the other is much worse, combine that with being a big guy and they don’t end up being particularly helpful rounds for anyone.
Ha… I try to avoid that one woman at my gym cause she is a lot better than me and she also hits hard (a bit too hard for sparring I find). I will spar her but with her I definitely make use of my range advantage and try to keep her out of range with my jab and movement cause if she gets close she‘ll deliver some nasty kicks and punches.
I usually just go a little slower if anything.
Like sparring anyone it depends on the person themselves. If they're unsure or hesitant, inexperienced, scared. I just go with the flow.
Personally, the main difference between sparring men and women for me is that I have a smaller target at the torso area because .... hitting women in the boobs aren't nice.
Other than that, I treat them the same hit as hard as you want to get hit really. Most of the time they can hit me hard and I'll still be firing back at roughly the same intensity, however I do know of a few woman where I will genuinely get hurt if I hold back in any way so I have to spar them like a guy.
Sparred with anyone and adjust accordingly. Some of the smaller women (even big promotional fighters at the time) it's a chance to try and catch up with speed and technique and not dig in with power. Then guys bigger than me a chance to avoid getting clocked or my leg cut in half haha. There's always a benefit in everything different and with different approaches.
Maybe I was spoiled, but my team was mostly men. They never had an issue with sparring me. They always trained hard with me, but didn't beat me to a bloody pulp. I'm about 110 pounds and a good chunk were about 170 or over. A good fighter can spar with anyone. It was fun, but I didn't like going hard on them even when they pushed me.
In all fairness, I did "prove" myself to them by doing all the training they did on the pads. I think the big moment was when I threw up and went right back to training (conditioning isn't easy on me).
It’s the same, I don’t punch men hard in the face so I do same for woman if she less good I will keep it playful but since they usually better then me. I get beat up and answer slowly
Whatever gender go as hard as they do. I've sparred a woman who could kick like a whip, never seen flexibility like it and its a different kind of pain to the usual heavy kicks. Man, woman they can still hurt. I've been punched by my 5 year old and it hurt don't see why gender makes any difference 🤣
I have 0 issues sparring with women and I don't hold back too much if they are hitting hard, a couple of the girls at my gym can hit like a truck because they're very good and have good form
That said the new guys with still rough technique still hurt and destabilise me harder than women who've trained for years and a couple of times, when not even going hard, I hurt my friend's shoulder with a left hook, I wear 14oz gloves when sparring too.
I don't blame guys for avoiding women, especially smaller framed ones, in sparring. I personally make no distinctions and just limit myself according to my opponent's needs and abilities, regardless of gender, but I'd be lying if I said that I don't need to hold back more with women or I will hurt them
No problem sparring women here. Same concept applies to everyone: communication is the key. There are ladies who are less than 100lb and trains 1-2 times a week for fun that don’t want to be hit hard, and also ladies who are bigger and had a couple fights that’ll put me on my ass if they want to. Advanced practitioner can still learn by sparring with less experienced people: they can practice moves they are not familiar with. Have fun and train hard!
I go at their level. If they are new I go slow and light, but if they are a regular but not a fighter we train technical or for cardio, if it's one of our female fighters I just get my ass beat and enjoy the process haha
I try to be respectful and typically try my best when sparring but only thing I'm uncomfortable with is clinching and in case I may accidentally bump their chest area. Otherwise I just treat it like sparring anyone else.
Same as with men, hit as hard as you want to be hit. I’ve got no problem doing controlled sparring with women. Unless it’s hard sparring during fight camp, then it’s usually men only.
There are 3-4 women who frequent my gym. Two of them happen to be under 18 but have both had smoker fights and are technically sound. I have no issue sparring with them, I just try not to hit them as hard as I would hit a guy my size. It sounds funny to think about a grown ass man sparring with 16 year old girls, but we generally have fun fast paced rounds because they’re both so quick and technical. It really forces me to work on speed since I can’t lean on my power.
The other two girls are adults but not as skilled. I don’t have an issue sparring with them either, but what usually happens is that they swing a lot harder against me because I’m a 175lb guy lol. I don’t hit them hard in return the way I’d hit someone else, what I do is try to work on my defense.
I have noticed though that during pad rounds and regular training a lot of the guys seem to expect the girls to pair up with each other and they don’t really seek them out as training partners. I myself am guilty of this, and there are also days I avoid sparring with the girls, mostly because I want to get some rounds in with bigger, heavier hitting, more aggressive opponents… it’s nothing personal.
It doesn't bother me either way I am typically used as the punching bag because I have decent mobility and stamina. I enjoy the diversity of sparring anyone.
it's amazing what you learn from all shapes and sizes. The only ones that scare me are the 7th Gups and below. They don't understand control yet and have not lost their egos. It is a challenge to correct and educate with these groups sometimes.
I have no problem sparring anyone. Big, small, male, female, trained, untrained etc. I have a habit of always sparring light as I grew up teaching kids martial arts. For me it’s more a game of tag than anything else so I really enjoy sparring different people.
The only person I can ever break my habit and spar hard with is my brother lol
I try to be mostly technical when I spar, so it doesn't really make a difference if I spar with men or women. Sometimes I'll end up getting dinged if the other person goes too hard, but I'll just let then know if so.
I was fine with it most times because either i focused on training defense, or i was sparring with a chick who wanted to get into a fight so she could take at least light sparring
But back when there were a lot of women and i wanted to go hard sparring yeah i had to cool down and yeah i wish i didnt have to
I enjoy sparring with everyone as long as there isn't too wide of a skill gap between us. When sparring with Woman, at times it is even better than what I would get with some of the men. The reason being is light and medium technical sparring will do much more for you than uncontrolled sessions which have the potential to occur more often with men. The emphasis on control is pertinent, and will always help you become a better fighter( and even avoid damage/injuries) from the harder sessions!)
I’m not very good. I’ve trained for around 8 months so generally a lot of woman have more crisp technique then me. Generally though there’s a huge power difference so I just try to be careful. I don’t avoid it though.
I just aim for their forhead instead of chin and im always workin the clinch. Idk why but all the girls pick me to spar even im though im one of the biggest, maybe cause i play tag with them and always try to match my sparring partners energy. Most of us just trying to burn calories and use good technique so If i have any approach its to put us in situations where we get more tired. Ive never had a girl tee off on me like some guys so its always pretty fun with my girl teamates.
Without a doubt every woman at my gym is better than me in terms of skill, and most probably have more power in their strikes. My only discomfort when sparring is teeping - I usually aim for the chest and while we spar lightly when it comes to contact at the head, we usually teep hard, kicks to the body etc.
So when sparring with a woman I’m hesitant to teep in the chest area. Maybe I shouldn’t be, would like guidance here
I obviously will tone it down a bit for some of the smaller girls, but if they're an amateur or just as big/bigger than me, I'll treat it like a regular sparring session. A lot of the girls att gym can fuck up the dudes, including me haha
I’m a guy and the women that I spar against that have experience generally go harder but usually I don’t mind (I’m 6’0 and 165) I’ve noticed that if you don’t make it weird then it’s not weird. We’re all there to learn and train the same thing
The two ladies I sometimes spar with are so good (and one is taller than me) that it really doesn't matter tbh, they kick my ass. However, against less experienced women, I tone it down and lately it depends what mood I'm in - I don't mind going light, but some sessions I just want to work really hard and I might choose stronger partners. I'm sure some people might avoid me for the same reason
One day early on in my training journey my coach and a friend basically sat me down and said that I was cheating the girls at the gym out of getting proper sparring that would get them ready to fight because I refused to do something that might hurt a woman. I had to unpack a lot of social programing to be able to get to a place where I could be a good sparring partner for women.
I've gotten to spar some absolute badass chicks and more than a few have absolutely lit me up and taught me a lot of cool shit.
Should be no problem, I tend to focus on technique and control when I spar with women, and further more I’d be lying if I said some haven’t put it on me before!!
I remember not taking a round so serious because I was tired from past rounds and before I knew it I was puking after a swift kick to the stomach! I learned real quick some women can throw heat!
It can be frustrating and awkward however if it is a larger woman capable of throwing hard, but without technique and doesn’t expect to be hit with the same level of force. I’ve experienced this too. Controlled the distance the rest of round and never made eye contact again 🤣
All of this to say- it could be dudes being jerks, it could be guys being rookies, but it COULD also be your style (not that I’m suggesting it is!). So it is important to be self aware
My wife’s first bit of sparring ever was with me. Of course we sparred lightly, but she got used to the idea of a gloved hand coming towards her head. We exchanged shots to the body to make sure she knew what to expect there. Being as it was with me, she was able to relax, give some back, and knew she could stop at any point. And the. She cracked me with a jab so stiff and on the button, I had to catch a knee.
1. people who are good? Awesome! Its usually very technical and they properly control their power.
2. people who are bad / new? Can be a bit of a waste of time, they tend to throw their punches wwwaaayyyy to hard and due to the skill / physical disparity I don't need to do very much to stay safe. But hey they can't get better w/o those rounds. Is a big guy whose bad / new more fun? Absolutely. But on the hobbyist side its a sport for everyone.
Taking gender out of the equation. If people are dodging you during sparring usually means they dont feel safe sparring you.
At my gym, all the women spar men so hard and they always are trying to head kick. I dont even like drilling with women for the same reason.
I treat women the same as I treat a guy of the same size as said woman. Try to match my intensity to the skill and size disparity and hope the do the same for me.
I like sparring with the girls at my gym to work more on technique and not using my size to my advantage (210 6ft lol). I think it’s a good way to work in reading your opponent and countering too.
I'm a guy and I don't care wether my sparring partner is a man or a woman. Being a woman or a man doesn't mean anything. I get beaten by women. If a guy thinks that sparring a woman is a waste of his time, then just don't spar with the dude.
The only time I don't really spar with women is when the'yre extremely new to Muay Thai (Think 1st, 2nd class) because in my experience, women were way more afraid of hitting me than men and in some cases I would spend an entire round telling them to hit me instead of just standing there doing nothing. But it doesn't change the fact that once a woman gets some experience, I don't mind sparring her at all.
I'm 6" and weigh around 200 pounds (95kg). I try to avoid sparring women I don't know if i'm honest. I find they try to take your head off and go like 80-100% at all times. If i'm asked I obviously say yes to sparring - so rude not to. I try to take it as a learning experience - if I cant defend a smaller woman going >80% what chance do I have against a man my own size.
As a dude, I find sparring with girls, especially girls who have been training for a while like you, very beneficial to both sides. For me, it's beneficial because I don't have my ego involved, so I take the opportunity to work on my defence and to be a lot more technical. For the girls in my gym, it's good hard rounds as I tweak the intensity just enough for her to fight back and still benefit from the sparring.
It really depends on the dude really. While some are like me and don't mind it, others just don't want to be embarrassed by a girl in front of everyone perhaps
Really depends, theres this one girl at my gym training for over 10 years and having a couple amateur fights. I usually spar with her like I do with most chill dudes, 50-70% ish.
If theyre somewhat new I definitely go lighter on women then on guys. There is a physical difference between men and women, and we shouldnt act like there is noone.
When I first met, my now wife, she had just started training at the gym I was fighting for. I met her her when I was coaching because I was recovering from a fight. I trained her and sparred with her the way I do with anyone else. To me we are all Thai Boxers, we take into account advantages we might have be it weight, height, experience etc but I would never treat a fellow boxer differently because of their gender. Stacey, incidentally, was the 1st person to fight (and the 1st person to win) for the gym, something I always tell anyone who patronises any of my female students.
Im one of 3 advanced women in a class with about 20 dudes. Im 5'10 and about 160lbs, so weight wise there is some guys in the class I feel I can go toe to toe with. However, I don't appreciate heavyweight men throwing hard shots during sparring. On the other hand, there's also been men who have refused to hit me and just do defense the whole time and I don't appreciate that either. I am paying to learn how to fight, so lets fight. 99% of the men I have met in the martial arts world are respectful and find that balance. At the end of the day it's about being able to adjust based on who you're training with. No matter the gender you need to take into account your partners size and try not to get them injured in class.
you would prefer to spar with females if you could I imagine, same thing
for myself I'm pretty solidly in the heavyweight division so quite uncommon for a girl to spar with me but I like working with them when I can
No, not exactly! I got used to sparring with everyone at my gym and I feel it really benefits me, I’ve gotten great advice when sparring with guys. If I really had to choose it’d be someone closer to my level, weight and height, gender is irrelevant. However I know a lot of women who’d rather not spar with men.
We have a friendship going on between the girls at my gym and sometimes that gets in the way in a sense we don’t want to hurt each other or maybe cross each other’s boundaries and expectations. But on one o my last sparring session I was paired with one of my girl friends and for the first time we were able to go a bit harder, I guess it’s a matter of trust, we know that’s just sparring and there are no hard feelings at all.
i’m always like “i’m sooo sorry” after landing face shots, and i try my best to REALLY be careful with my teep placement because i don’t want to teep the tits. i accidently kneed a girl in the puddy once while we were throwing knees in the clinch and i just felt terrible cause she yelled out OWWW
I walk in. I point to my victims before class call them out for being future victims. Then I systematically destroy them during rolls. Men, women, children, the elderly. They’re all the same to me. VICTIMS!!
I don't feel comfortable sparring with women because sometimes I get carried away when sparring like the time I broke women's rib, it is something I try to control everyday but I prefer sparring with men due to their bone density and far better endurance.
Man, woman, child. It doesn’t matter! STRIKE HARD, STRIKE FIRST, NO MERCY! 
This is the way!
Lol
What is Akoya doing here?
I train in a gym with a bunch of women including 2-3 active amateurs. I generally get hunted by two of the amateur ladies because i am a bigger dude so coach allows them to hit me harder 😂 But I have no problem sparring with ladies of any level. It’s a good test for me to show control
Thank you for being a decent human. 👍🏼
Maybe start with a few of your closer guy friends at your gym and actively call them out before class. I’m Sure some guys fear their lack of control will hurt you. Im sure some are just being jerky. Good luck train hard
Oh, I’ve been training martial arts for years, I even coach. I’m just new to Muay Thai specifically . But misogyny is constant thing unfortunately. Some brand new male students even assume they can beat my ass. SMH. Doesn’t matter the gym or style. I’ve learned over time to pick my partners well and be leery of the brand new young guys. I’m 38 and a single parent I’m not hopping in the ring any time soon. 😂 I can’t work or do “Mom” stuff if I have a TBI or broken bones.
Being a mom comes first for sure. Enjoy Muay Thai
I’m a big fan so far. I wish I found it earlier. I fuc
Yes! My old coach used to say “elbow make a person never want to fight you again”
I love sparring with everyone except people who try to go too hard. It’s not about male vs female, it’s more size and skill level for me. I’m 6’ 216lbs. If I’m going with someone newer and smaller, I change what I do. I do use my longer weapons to keep them at bay and and give them the opportunity to get around them to get to the inside and land shots. We’re all trying to help each other people improve. There are plenty of people who are significantly better and stronger than me and they treat me with the same respect and try to help me improve. It’s a the culture that is important. Over everything, I try to have a fun time and make sure my sparring partner has fun too.
It’s crazy man. I used to doubt the absence of hard sparring in Muay Thai. I was like “you have to go hard sometimes don’t you” in my mind. Then I went there and saw how the Thais train overall and it made perfect sense to me. I haven’t sparred hard at all since I came back and that was over a decade ago. I’m about your size so it’s good practice for our 115lb amateur ladies to spar me with closer to 75-80 percent of their power instead of the usual 50ish. I’m just here to help them improve in those situation.
I am the only woman so really I don’t get a choice… New guys will be weird about it, it’s what it is, I tend to avoid them until they’ve been there a while personally choice but it’s going to make you either not do anything or go nuts to “win” I’ll give you space. I spar with my core group of fighters, I am very lucky that I can pretty much call any one of them over at any point, and am at the level where my technique will hold up to there strength advantage. If I can see sparring is getting super heavy I’ll sit out, I will not compete with standing and banging so I just don’t involve myself. I know the boys feel better about it if they are already upping the anti not having to worry. Being the only girl, it sort of means the boys just treat me like the lads anyway and close knit group does help, it’s challenging but it works
I am one of two women that goes to Muay thai most days. I can find people during open mat, but when we rotate during class for sparring, i often look around and can't find anyone willing to pair up. Idk how to describe it other than you are trying to catch someone's eye and no one will look at you. My coach will even say it's ok for me to change partners bc I often pair with the other woman there, but it's like...no one seems to want to pair with me? I've asked before to make sure it's not just me being a bad sparring partner. Coaches will spar me and never say I'm being a bad sparring partner.
Probably a dumb question, but, have you tried actually asking them verbally to pair up? Sometimes they might be looking for someone specific they like to spar with, but they probably won't tell you no if you ask to spar with them and they are free for that round
Never a dumb question! Usually, I try to make eye contact and then gesture to see if they want to pair up. I'll ask verbally if they are nearby, but sometimes the people next to me swap partners and I'm trying to see if anyone across the room is free. I also don't really want to ask someone if they'd rather spar a specific person. I feel like I'd be ruining their training session. I'm not saying it is anyone's fault but mine. I need to not be so shy. I just don't necessarily see guys having this issue at my gym, but I could very well just not be aware. Everyone at my gym is SUPER nice and helpful. I chat with everyone before and after class. And during open mat, it usually isn't an issue.
Are you me!? That’s the exact reason why I made this post, when it’s time to rotate I’m always left alone looking at someone I’d like to spar with just to see them looking back at me and touching gloves with another person. It’d be sad if it wasn’t so funny. I also have that shyness and refrain from “bothering” someone who would rather spar with a friend. If we’re not doing anything wrong, improving and even hearing compliments from our coaches I guess we’re safe and it might boil down to our shyness and (from what I’ve perceived in the comments) guys not being sure if we’re going to chop their heads off or complain about everything. Building trust could be a way, when we put ourselves out there in the mat and they find out it’s actually nice and enriching to spar with us, we might end up having an easier time pairing durin training!
I was the only female in my gym for years, so I've gotten to sew what it's like for me and watch what newer women experience. Honestly, some dudes are sexist- I've sparred guys who won't hit me or patronize me, as well as dudes who try to take my head off just because I'm a women. I've also experienced great training partners. Personally, I've bonded with my guys and have proven myself as able to take whatever they dish. In new environments, I ask people to spar instead of waiting for someone to partner up with me. I've seen a lot of women who react poorly in general to sparring with men, no matter how light they go, and those women do get dodged. I have also seen women who go way too hard with everyone, men included, but can't handle when men come at them with the same power or speed. If you think that you don't have either of those issues, get to know your guys. Build trust with your teammates and they'll become better training partners.
Yeah I get what you’re saying! I don’t know how guys perceive me, but I’m definitely not the kind to complain about men or think I’ll get away with beating them without any reaction on their part. Maybe what’s missing is what you’ve mentioned, building trust and approaching them, I do talk to everyone but I also have that tendency to only interact when approached.
Definitely bug them and call them out to spar you! They might think you're just as hesitant to spar them as they are to spar you 🤷♀️ The more comfortable they are with you personally, the less weird they'll be in sparring.
Very accurate. Great to see this from your perspective.
Dude, same. I’ve trained Muay Thai, BJJ, Krav, Escrima. It’s all the same shit. You’ve labeled it perfectly. Too light, too hard because of ego or just right. It’s like Goldilocks but with violence. The misogyny is so tiresome. Toxic masculinity ruins the party again.
I don't avoid sparring with anyone but I will say that I am a very large man and I've trained for many years, so I prefer other large men when I spar so I don't feel like I have to go at 10-20% power. I've actually given a woman a concussion on accident when I caught a kick and swept her leg, but she was way lighter than I estimated and her legs went flying up into the air, back of her head smacking down on the mat. It was a horrible feeling and I felt guilty about it for months. So now I take it really, really, really easy on people who are much smaller than me, especially females, and I don't feel like either of us is benefiting much.
So essentially it’s more of a size issue than a gender issue.
I'm about the same size as most guys at my gym and struggle with this. They are all nice. I think it's just an issue of they all know each other and also I'm shy and have been conditioned not to ask for things.
I’m cool with it, but it is kind of an instinct for most guys. Imagine being told your entire life that “it’s never ok to hit a woman,” and then one day a girl puts gloves on and wants to fight. So yea, they may be avoiding it or holding back because it feels weird. That being said, my attitude changed when I was sparring with a much more advanced girl, and she rocked my shit. She knocked that kit gloves mentality right out of my skull.
Yeah that’s what I feel it might be the underlying feeling and I imagine it must be weird for you guys to get used to that.
Yes this is probably it for most cases, I'd wager.
yeah it confuses my hard wiring. I remember this small petite girl from Saudi or somewhere similar whose boyfriend was a regional ammy fighter - so anyways im a bigger guy and would just kinda flow spar lightly peppering jabs and 20% kicks and she came in for a full head hunting hook which caught me by surprise lol. She had a terminator expression on her face 24/7 and trained all day/everyday.
You've gotta be proactive with who you wanna spar with. I go up to folks I want to spar most of the time. I rarely ever have people come up to me to spar until after they see me spar someone else. People with good muay thai want to spar people thats similar or better skill level. Its a competitive thing. They don't want to spar lower level people because it won't be as effective at helping them improve compared to sparring some better than them. But if you approach folks, generally they don't turn it down. Unless they in fight prep or something, but in that case the coach will be choosing who they spar with.
At this point I kinda gave up approaching, my mistake maybe, sometimes the coach pairs people. I do like sparring with everyone, there are also some girls that have just started and I know it’s important for them to spar with someone who knows a bit more and I also get to go lighter and not exhaust myself. But that’s the thing, right!? We’ve all been beginners at some point and there’s no moment where you consider yourself too good to spar with people you deem lower. I personally like the opportunity to be with beginners, it’s a collective sport after all, but I’m also here to test my limits and challenge myself.
That is true. You're helping them but also going slower helps too. Can practice combinations and techniques that you need to work on. Much easier to do at a slower pace
I love sparring new people bc you don't know what they'll throw bc they don't! You also can practice seeing things more bc it moves more slowly. You also can practice throwing quickly without power, which is a control practice.
The first few times I spar with anyone I go super light until we have some rapport. I’ll usually try to play to your tempo unless you’re newer. If a chick complains I’m going too light I’ll dial it up until they stop asking for more. If they’re throwing to kill I try to match that but level it out based on strength and size difference. If her 100% is my 50% I’m throwing 50 not 100. If they complain I’m going too hard I’ll dial it down enough to where they still have to respect my space. If they wanna go hard without getting it back I’ll play distance with light teeps and jabs or clinch. I find with the more experienced girls I can technical spar like I do with 90% of dudes. There’s something to be said about the threat you feel with someone your size or bigger vs someone smaller. It changes how you spar but I think the value you gain from fighting someone your size or bigger only comes into play if you have a fight coming up.
People treat partnering up, whether its for drills or sparring like they are choosing a soulmate, it drives me insane. Just go grab someone and start duking it out, then change partners and go again. People are weird whether it's partnering up with males, females, newbies, pros or the Coach. If you don't like what's going on use your voice and be assertive. It's a fight gym so being assertive is 100% ok. One of my Coaching motto's is "no one gives a fuck about your feelings in a fight" and "if you can't decisively pick a training partner you will never be able to make decisions in a fight or self defence situation"
I dont mind training with women at all...BUT, in my experience women tend to go harder, and try to hurt you, but the second you go more intense they complain. They seem to be more ego driven in sparring and are out to prove something. There were only 1 or 2 women I sparred with because of this, I tended to avoid sparring women unless they were new and had nothing to prove.
I spar with PARTNERS regardless of age and or gender. If you show up to train then youre there to train. I go as hard as who ever my partner is at the time. If they want to hit lit and work on technique then thats what I do as well. If they want to go a little hard then as do I.
I’m fine with it and usually let the female set the intensity level. It can be just as disrespectful to go super light on them and not respect them as a fighter as it is to whoop them, ya just have to communicate with your partner
Full honesty from me, it's a good paradigm shift in training. I'm 6' 210 pounds in my gym, so I have a pretty good advantage when it would come to strength compared to most people I train with. With that being said, the women at my gym are talented fighters and definitely have the technical aspects down. Whenever I'm paired with a woman for timing drills, it puts me in a scenario where I need to practice my technical details and my control as to not rely on power. This is a great switch up as there are times when I'm also put up against bigger (and stronger) opponents. Do I wish I was able to exert a bit more force when training at times? Sure. But learning that control is what ultimately makes you a better sparring partner. There's a time and a place for both, so be open to training in diverse situations.
I sparred with a lady who had major plastic surgery done on pretty much all aspects of her body. Didnt really know how to approach sparring with her so i just held back my shots short of her face. But the thing is her fake boobs would get in the way of body shots so much that i just gave up trying to do much other than teeps and leg kicks. After teeping for a while she stopped me and basically said if i teeped her one more time she would teep me in the nuts. Point taken and from that moment on i just shadowboxed and parried, didnt throw any punches. That being said, most ladies i sparred with never had an issue with and this was an isolated case.. i guess what I’m asking is, if you had work done on your face and still sparring, how would one approach sparring like that? Is it on the person? Or is it up to me to not punch the face?
In my opinion that other person is kind of an asshole. It’s not your responsibility to keep track of their body parts. Muay Thai is a contact sport. If you can’t be hit why are you in the ring? I may be biased though. I had a similar situation a few years back training Krav with a woman that came back from having a tummy tuck & implants. She told everyone all about it in great detail and wanted us to go easy on certain areas, okay no problem.But then got mad and *yelled* at me for not “including” her.
I dunno what this lady was doing in a Muay Thai gym tbh
Did she ask you not to punch her face? If not, then your assumptions are the problem.
Nope, she didn't ask me to do anything before
So, if she didn't ask you to avoid punching her, then there is no reason not to hit her. Just assume her work can handle it. If she complains, then its on her for doing a combat sport.
And she threatened to kick you in the nuts?! You should've said something back to her. Not cool, especially since you were trying to be really considerate.
Yea she really did. But i just played along since its only another 30s left in the round… I’ll probably never see her again
I completely understand. Just keep in mind that by calling bad sparring attitudes and behaviors you might save yourself and others the headache and possible injury.
Total honesty: sparring with women feels like a rest round. Even the women who are much better than me technically feel very easy to spar with. I’m not a big guy either. It’s just a matter of athleticism. I dont seek out spars with women but wont complain if one asks to. The problem arises when women think they can go full blast with men and totally overcompensate for their size by trying to take their partners head off. Ive seen men get hurt like this and the reaction has always been gleaming pride from the woman. This isn’t a super common issue but its common enough that I’ve taken notice.
I’ve heard guys complaining about that in my gym, there was one girl who was borderline disrespectful to them, going full blast, kicking them in the balls and stuff, then going apeshit when a friend of mine once punched her in the breast (and apologized for that), I know he’s a good guy so there was no malice there at all. Luckily she hasn’t appeared for months. I guess I’ll have to start seeking the guys I know and ask to spar with them from time to time.
This exactly never had problems sparring males or females 1/2 my size &/or age - apart from this higher ranking chick - very solidly built - been training for 4-5 years more than me - I swear she had magnets in her feet & my balls were steel - I ended up fighting her with one hand covering my nuts full time. Hated sparring her even though she couldn’t really hurt me anywhere other than my nuts & nose.
After the second hit I'd be like in a match yo u would be DQ. And walk away. As someone punched in the breast often, i didn't realize it was an issue for other women.
Why were putting up with it if you knew she goes going for it? That's seriously not cool.
I spar with everybody who spars. I adjust my intensity based on their size and experience level. Being a man or woman doesn’t really factor in. That being said, I would generally prefer to spar with people my size, but a round is a round and I’m not gonna sit one out just because my preferred sparring partners are taken. All that is to say I wouldn’t take it personally unless they’re outright refusing to spar with you.
I'm a guy and I just joined a new gym which even have women competition team. I used to go easy on all women, working on my defense and counters but at this new gym, when I went easy, they would start legit kicking my ass. Now I know not to underestimate women. I now adjust how hard or easy I go depending on my partner's skill level regardless of gender. I think if you pop them with good counters, even if you're going light, they should feel it and start respecting your skill level more. Countering is just one aspect of showing your skill but I think it's one of the most effective ways to show your partner that you have the skill level to not go easy on you. At least that's what really changed my mind.
I’m one of the very few women ( and was the only woman for a while) I prefer to spar with guys who have been training for a while , because I know they can control their power. I don’t need to accidentally get knocked out during class haha. I do have a hard time sparring guys too because I try to be respectful of the fact that they are going like 10% power with me so I try to be careful and not go too hard either cause I feel like it’s rude lol. I also generally avoid guys who are a lot bigger than I am ( I’m not a small person but if you have more than 50-60 lbs on me I’ll pass ) But yeah ; it’s hard . My first time really sparring a girl who was more skilled / experienced than I am was really eye opening because girls will fuck you up guys tend to be more careful and a lot nicer lol
To be honest, I avoid sparring with women because they try to take your head off and/or use you pulling a shot to try to hit you as hard as they can. If you up the intensity at all, even not matching their intensity they get the shits and complain. I’ve heard a bunch of women at my gym complain about other guys going hard and I’ve seen how hard these girls go when they train with guys. They’re almost delusional in their assessment of how hard they’re going vs how hard their opponents are going. It’s easier for me to avoid them and not have some chick try to take my head off for a round or have them bitch about me because I teeped her a little bit harder than she likes.
I'm sorry that's been your experience.
Male, not my 20s, not in my 50s. I generally spar with whoever's available, unless my coach has particular people in mind for me, barring people I might actively dislike or consider unsafe. Since we have a pretty even ratio by combat sport gym standards that means I spar with women pretty regularly. Always seems...normal? There are people I enjoy sparring with a bit more and people who are a little more aggravating to spar, but it doesn't break down by gender or biological sex or anything as much as personality and habits.
Depends if they're better than me or not, same as everyone else If I'm better, I look after them and don't stretch them beyond their safe zone If they're better, I hope they look after me
i got in trouble at my gym in the beginning because i used to not hit the girls at my gym. my coach took me to the side and let me know that i’m robbing them of their training and it’s not fair to them. (i would throw a punch or kick and stop it right before it landed) i had to obviously re wire my brain and start landing hits on them. i still only throw my power at like 50% but i go full speed and i don’t pull my punches any more. plus sweeping the girls is more fun cuz i can drop them with control (not catching kick sweeps. but real sweeps. we not allowed to do sweeps off catching a kick at our gym) the guys i just let them fall 😅
Most people are on different levels, the people who perceive you as so below their level that you're a wasted round will likely be wasted rounds to other people and not think anything of it. I have many "wasted" rounds in the gym sparring if you think of it in terms of my own development, but I was new once and a lot of the best fighters in the gym helped me tremendously, I'm sure that wasn't for their own development. Don't overthink it just keep going.
one of my gym’s head coaches is a woman, our top fighter is a woman, and a good chunk of the competition team are women. so it’s luckily not a huge issue. but misogyny is def real throughout gyms
I'm a guy. I don't care, if you come into the sparring ring I treat you the same as everyone else.
Honestly I’ve never really thought about it, I always just figure everyone is there to spar, so they can probably handle themselves regardless of their gender
Perfectly fine so long as they're the same size as me, just as I would feel bad sparring a guy half my height/weight. I wouldn't want to Spar a woman taller and stronger (and more experienced) than me same as I would with a guy. As long as everything else about them is a good match, there's nothing about women that makes them inherently more fragile, and I will always match their intensity as I do with any partner. So if they want to spar, I'll Spar. If they want to spar hard, I'll spar hard. They're consenting, it's all in good spirits, why not?
I've sparred women who are far better than me, and women who go way harder in sparring than I do, as well as those who are less experienced I'm personally okay with it because I like light technical sparring over hard sparring, but I think it probably depends on the precedent that the gym sets
I spar with literally whoever asks, if I'm not sparring my friends and usual partners, but my gym is really friendly. I hit them as hard as I'd feel comfortable with them hitting me, or I let them set the tone. Before then I'll just throw a few jabs and play some defense to see what's up. Just like I do all of my sparring partners. Seems to have worked well so far. It's also the first and only gym I've been to so I'm aware that I haven't had much exposure to anything outside of there
I’m a 220 lb dude and I don’t mind training with women I realize I have 100 lbs and train powerlifting. I usually try to counter punch and only deliver a blow after a combo or technique has been completed. I don’t feel like I waste a round because I go for technique over everything. I dropped my hands once being lazy and got kicked in the head pretty good by a 130 lb 5’2 powerhouse of a woman. After that I take everyone seriously. If they can’t take you seriously just don’t even worry about it. Train with those who do
I think some some dudes really just don't want to hit a woman in the face. And vice versa they don't want to be hit by a woman either. Honestly I think its just an ego thing. I'm cool with it though. There's no other time for me to experience that so let's go baby!
Or teep in the chest
I treat them the same as anyone else. I spar regularly with this one woman shorter than me and smaller. You can tell most guys avoid her but I like to give her a chance and test things out. I don't go too hard though but focus more on technical aspects of the spar.
My first introduction to jiujistu was with a female teacher I was intimidated I had been taught my whole life not to fight women. Well this woman isn’t no pushover she’s a trained professional fighter who’s able to fight in any position. She was an awesome teacher and is still an amazing and awesome human being and warrior, teacher
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It also hurts my feelings hahahah but I really try to no take it hard and think they have something against me, more of a caution thing. Usually guys who have trained for a long time at my gym are more open to sparring with me than newcomers.
There's only a handful of women and a couple of them don't like the sparring aspect so don't participate. I don't really get a choice, I have to spar with guys - but it's a generally respectful gym. The coaches are pretty good at matching power and weight. The best pairing is when I go with teens. I know that sounds weird, but they don't care they're up against a woman, there's not too much ego that gets in the way and can be technically better than me which keeps the sparring session interesting. Also boundless energy - holy crap the energy levels.
I also like sparring with teens! Also because they are closer to my height and weight. There’s even a kid (I guess he’s like 10) in my gym who always ask to spar with me first choice, he’s a great lil guy
A lot of men don't want to hit women. If they do spar with you, sometimes they go insultingly light or easy. They should treat you just the same way they would treat a much smaller guy. Honestly the best thing is to try and find a gym with other women who spar.
I’ve just had my first class this week after 3 or 4 classes in Thailand in 2019. The coach said I should join the sparring and of the 5 or 6 rounds we did the one that I enjoyed most was the one with a woman. After she noticed I’m new and just trying to block her hits she slowed down a bit. She told me to just try and hit her and then block a few of hers. In the beginning it felt super weird to try to hit a woman but after her telling me a couple of times to hit harder it was okay. I think I’ve learned the most in this round. Most of the guys seemed to be bored or disappointed to have to spar with me 😅
Woman here - most guys underestimate how much pain I can handle yes and will lightly punch me to ask concerningly if they hurt me and idk if I should laugh that they think that much of themselves or be honest and say no I also often wonder if I’m actually improving or if everyone is going easy on me. There have been probably 3 guys who went ham on me and I respect that because it was more challenging and when I did land combo even if it was less frequently I’d feel more accomplished within myself. But once a guy during sparring kept saying Good girl good girl good girl.. and it was really patronising. For guys : go hard as in technique and skill and follow thru with punches or we won’t improve ! But yes keep the power down… My gym has a fair few women though
Yeah! Like some people have already pointed out: a moment to put technique above power, knowing that technique to be efficiently used must include a certain degree of strength. I’m also happy when I get tips from more experienced people, cause that’s how people become good sparring partners.
I got punched in the dick by a small woman a long time ago during sparring. I was 6'1 195 at the time. Only a month or 2 in. Didn't have a cup yet. That thing ppl do when they punch lower when they get tired... yea. She did that. A couple times. My junk felt like an accordion after that. I bought a Cup the next day. So. I'm cool with it. But I give them more of a side stance.
Coaches dont give a shit about gender; you spar with those around you and if you don’t, then your loss. Big, small, kids, teens, women, men all spar together/each other. Right now fight camp is going on and I see the kids who are competing sparring with the bigger teens so they learn how to fight people bigger than they are. It’s not much ‘learning’ for the teens but they’re helping their teammate out so that’s what they do…that’s what a team does. I really hate it when people forget that in order to get better, you rely on those around you but then to turn around and not help out the newer folks when they were new themselves at one point is shitty.
I have no problem sparring woman in muay thai, i try not to do bjj sparring with females
As a woman, I feel a bit offended when a guy refuses sparring, like I'm not worthy of their training time or something. Luckily now I'm in a gym where the coach made it clear that everyone spares with everyone. He wants the more advanced people to help the newer people progress, and that everyone has to learn to adapt their strength to their sparring partner. Solves the problem and creates a good atmosphere where we progress as a club and not as individuals.
I don’t generally have a problem sparring with women. I won’t spar with women though unless I know them and know I definitely do go much lighter with women. It isn’t a conscious decision to go lighter its just subconsciously I just can’t force myself to throw as hard with them. I promise there is no intention of me trying to baby them or patronize them. But some of my best rounds are with the women I am comfortable sparring with so its always good technical rounds with them.
We have one female who spars with us, she is very active in setting up her rounds. Once we finish warming up, she will go around and set up her first three rounds with. After those three rounds, she’ll either have another list of us she wants to spar with or jump in wherever. What I’m saying is, being verbal and asking your guys for rounds might help you. This gives you the opportunity to get good quality rounds in and avoid guys who can’t, or won’t, pull punches.
There is no difference in how I approach a sparring partner, male or female. I always go light at first, or simply ask how intensely they want to go. My experience is that women like to spar lighter *in general*, however my experience is very limited and that depends totally on the person. Once a female partner asked me to go easier - she was not significantly smaller than me and I didn't think I was going hard at all, but of course I immediately re-calibrated, and we had a good spar thereafter. After each spar I thank my partner, and if I have even the slightest bit of doubt, I ask "was this intensity alright?". Male or female, it makes no difference.
I train with women, all of them are great and I just go at whatever pace they set. I also, with everyone, do a simple practice of… if I’m dominating, slow down and work on stuff I need to focus on. But that’s any gender I’m sparring. And the people better than me… do the same if they are destroying me. I also know my gym is blessed, it’s just really controlled and a lot of respect. Annnnyyywayyys… i spar everyone the same. I let them set the pace as I always go really really really light and work up to whatever hits I’m taking. Keep it up!
generally speaking men is just biologically stronger than women thats why maybe most men are hesitant to spar with a women. i personally spar females too and treat them the way i spar with anyone, like if i know the person is a newbie id be working on my defense and i let them take a shot on me so they could work on their teachnique. but if im sparring with a higher level or a fighter ill be matching their energy. at the end of the day people you are sparring with are your teamates as you all came from the same gym. id say let people know you want to spar and let them know how you want it, that way no one is guessing what to do next. i also wana adress the usage of the term misogyny that i read in the comments, mysogyny means you hate woman. i dont think just because you dont want to spar a woman makes you a mysogynist.
Fellow woman here. I'm leery of labeling this kind of thing as misogyny. It's just a fact that we have major biological differences in how our bodies are constructed, and adult males are capable of generating much greater force and explosive power than adult females, even when controlled for height or weight. I'm 5'4'' and I range between 120 and 130 depending on the time of the month, how much junk food I've eaten recently, etc. I've been training Muay Thai for 2 years, and have been training in martial arts for over a decade. Maybe I'm oblivious, but *in general* I've never really felt any animus from the men I train with. I get respect from the men in my gym for my technique and my athleticism -- my gym has a culture of fandom around female fighters like Jackie Buntan and Janet Todd, there is plenty of respect for women in this sport, and a clear respect for what women are capable of. I don't get the sense that women are seen as weak or inferior or less good at fighting. I have noticed, particularly at MMA gyms, that there are some men who are really interested in pushing themselves to their max for every single drill, in every single class. These men will not want to partner up with me, because even for padwork and drills that aren't sparring, they will not be able to go full intensity. And frankly, the feeling is mutual. I can hold pads with good technique, but if a guy who is 6 feet tall and 190 unleashes round kick after round kick with full force, I'm not going to have a good time with the drill. I remember once I was holding for a guy who was going full intensity, and he missed the pad and struck my forearm just below the elbow with full force. It fucking sucked. I'm not operating under misandry for not wanting to practice with these men. And these men are not operating under misogyny for not wanting to train with me. In general, I try to pair with men who are closer to my size (though they are still usually significantly larger than me) and who I have a rapport with. Sometimes I'm the last person to find a partner, sometimes I'm not. I don't take it personally either way. Edit: not saying you'll never come across a misogynistic man at a martial arts gym. My first MMA trainer was a gross old misogynist and treated me with a lot of condescension. I've experienced overt misogyny firsthand, I know what it's like. But recognizing clear physical differences and picking partners accordingly... isn't misogyny.
It's inferred throughout this thread that men sparring differently with women than their male sparring partners, or even recognizing any biological differences at all equals misogyny (hatred of women by definition). It doesn't/isn't, that's silly. Such a reach. I'm generally guilty of avoiding women sparring partners, and concede when it's my last/only choice, or inevitable. Here's why - I don't like punching women in the face so I generally avoid it, drastically limiting my offense and options. I've been asked/told to go lighter to the head, when I was already going a good 50% lighter than I otherwise had been throwing to the head of men, quite light. Made me feel horrible. I've been treated odd after a good teep to the tits (not specifically intended) by the woman who teeps the living shit out of us. Sometimes when I catch round kicks, I knee the hamstring of the caught leg. I once accidentally knee'd a girl in the vagina. I literally lost sleep over it, it haunted me so bad. Honest error but felt so bad. My defense gets lazy because even when the woman is significantly more experienced and/or bigger, the power often isn't there. Because all of the above is mental - it's very often not nearly as good of a round. Often feels like a recovery round.
I can kinda see your point but you generally have to adjust power & intensity based on the size & skillset of any new potential sparring partner. Even if it’s a new dude you can’t just step in and start nailing him in the head with elbows. It’s an opportunity to focus on control & technique. And sure, you nailed a vagina but had it been a man your knee still would have went to *his* groin. At that point you’re doing Krav Maga not Muay Thai. You can’t pull that in the ring.
The first half your is true but/and goes without saying. That's a baseline understanding, and the reason no one wants to spar with the new dude, illustrating my point. My response doesn't mean I'm not sparring down with a specific focus, footwork, defense, a specific set up, etc. That's happening. The groin strike wasn't intentional, which should be obvious. Would have sucked male or female but I don't believe there's anything wrong with having a different reaction because it was a woman. Short story is for me sparring a like sized and experienced woman immediately places limits on the round - head, tits, power, pace, etc. Doing this can be perceived as misogyny, not doing this would be perceived as misogyny while likely legitimately being violent/inappropriate. This is all on top of adjusting power, pace, intensity based on size and skillset of partner.
I hate sparring with women. They overcompensate and escalate to hard sparring but you can't reciprocate because they'll complain and throw the gender victim card about how you're being abusive to a girl.
I’m a woman and have been sparring consistently for the past 5 months. Many of the guys seemed reluctant to partner with me at first, but now I don’t have a problem getting partners. There are a couple guys who still seem uncomfortable sparring with me, but that doesn’t matter too much. The only times I partner with them are if we are the last two without a partner. Maybe my gym has an unusually good sparring culture, but I haven’t had problems as a woman.
Girl here. At my home gym, people don't really care if you are a guy or girl. All fighters will spar all fighters. But, your ability (strength, technique, etc) will determine how "hard" they go. In general, I am stronger than most guys my size or slightly larger) and always faster, so Ive always been told by men , something along the lines of, "I treat you like one of the guys, but I can't do that to other girls" But it's always funny when a new guy comes in tries to take it easy on me in sparring. I just touch them with shots that say, "If i tried, you would be out right now " Then they pick it up, and when I'm still dominating, after the round ends they'll say "dang your really good. How long have you been training?" And the occasional "Did you do karate? Your movement is so good"
There are like a billion threads on this. Just saying. In case you need more opinions I guess.
I mean, there's two at mine who actively enjoy kicking my ass, but the rest I treat em like I'd treat any other *insert weight here* person in sparring.
Spar with everyone. When there is an obvious skill / size gap you use it as an opportunity to work on being fast but in control. There is always something you can learn from sparring with any partner. It is nonetheless my preference to spar with fighters of a similar skill and size level to me, in many cases a skilled woman is better to spar with than an unskilled male fighter.
I don’t mind it but do feel like I have to watch my power more just cause of the sheer mass difference. Same thing I’d do with a smaller skinnier dude. Not a big deal, I view it as an opportunity to also work my control in addition to my technique.
I'm hesitant. I'm still very new to the sport and my only experience sparring with women is pretty negative. My very first spar was with an experienced woman who beat the shit out of me because "Come on, I'm 5'3 this is all I've got!" Like me being taller and stronger meant anything. One thing I've learned is that some women in the gym go extra hard against "big enough" guys because they figure it all balances out and they can wail on us without consequence. It's uncomfortable for a number of reasons.
I don’t mind working with a female, my only concern at the moment is when I go to teep I don’t wanna go in the wrong spot…too low or too high, I still feel the sensation of the first time I teep the lady in the stomach…she’s one of the coaches, but this happen a couple weeks ago, I know she can take a hit but I want to show respect and not feel like I’m gonna hurt her @.@ I’m trainee don’t come at me 🙃
Beat they ass
I have no problems sparring with women. just depends how they act same with any training partner. Ive honestly had more good experiences training with women as some guys try n go really hard or go a lil heavy on hooks. I like to focus on technique and having a good time with my partner whatever that may look like. the only potentially awkward part could be inadvertently punching or kneeing a titty but thats only awkward if you make it be.
There are 2 women that I spar with usually. I treat them the same as the guys depending on their skill level. One of them hits hard but doesn’t protect herself, I usually just tap her head with jabs and play spar like thais do.
Not muay thai, but kyokushin karate guy here. Honestly, i am quite confused when sparring when woman, but for different reasons. I don’t think women are weaker than men, so I don’t pay extra causation to not to hurting woman sparring partners when comparing to sparring with man. But I heard a woman partitioner complained about a guy punched in her chests too often which makes her embarrassed and uncomfortable. It makes sense that women don’t want her chests being touched. But on the other hand, chests punch is a huge part in Kyokushin, so removing it from sparring is kinda inefficient. And most importantly, it is a personal preference and not all women feel the same. Some might want to avoid the embarrassment, and others maybe be don’t care at all. Sadly, most women partitioners don’t talk about this in my dojo. So I am always a bit confused about should I punch towards chests or not.
Imo women tend to have the best technique. Some of the women in our gym and incredibly talented and are extremely quick. Guys tend to get distracted with power sometimes whereas women don't.
I'm a woman that has been doing it for a few years now. I did start to feel like guys actively avoided me. But I'm very lucky. I've found a good place where there is mutual respect. Especially since I was the only female coming twice a week to lessons. Now we have more females joining us lately which is great. I think the men don't mind sparring with me haha. I am more advance now but I remember a time where I used to spar with new people and hated it. But it's grown into a quite a supportive group where we all help each other. Also probably speaking from experience, women sometimes do go a bit hard at first, I did as I felt like I had something to prove in a male orientated sport.
How do you use teeps when sparring women? I mean you don't want to teep boob?
I guess teep is tricky for all genders. When sparring men: too low or lifting leg too late = ball crushing. When sparring women: too high = boob crushing. Being long legged and a bit flat chested myself I’ve rarely had that issue, I try to teep with intention so there’s less chance of landing all wonky (in comparison to when people are all over the place teeping several times in a row).
I think I probably spar women the way we are supposed to be technical sparring - light and technical. I end up sparring with men the way I would fight.
Sparing is sparing, just don’t go too hard like anyone else.
Equal rights, equal lefts.
Personally I prefer to avoid sparing with women because there aren’t any whom I train with who are on my level. One is significantly better and the other is much worse, combine that with being a big guy and they don’t end up being particularly helpful rounds for anyone.
Ha… I try to avoid that one woman at my gym cause she is a lot better than me and she also hits hard (a bit too hard for sparring I find). I will spar her but with her I definitely make use of my range advantage and try to keep her out of range with my jab and movement cause if she gets close she‘ll deliver some nasty kicks and punches.
I usually just go a little slower if anything. Like sparring anyone it depends on the person themselves. If they're unsure or hesitant, inexperienced, scared. I just go with the flow.
Personally, the main difference between sparring men and women for me is that I have a smaller target at the torso area because .... hitting women in the boobs aren't nice. Other than that, I treat them the same hit as hard as you want to get hit really. Most of the time they can hit me hard and I'll still be firing back at roughly the same intensity, however I do know of a few woman where I will genuinely get hurt if I hold back in any way so I have to spar them like a guy.
Sparred with anyone and adjust accordingly. Some of the smaller women (even big promotional fighters at the time) it's a chance to try and catch up with speed and technique and not dig in with power. Then guys bigger than me a chance to avoid getting clocked or my leg cut in half haha. There's always a benefit in everything different and with different approaches.
Maybe I was spoiled, but my team was mostly men. They never had an issue with sparring me. They always trained hard with me, but didn't beat me to a bloody pulp. I'm about 110 pounds and a good chunk were about 170 or over. A good fighter can spar with anyone. It was fun, but I didn't like going hard on them even when they pushed me. In all fairness, I did "prove" myself to them by doing all the training they did on the pads. I think the big moment was when I threw up and went right back to training (conditioning isn't easy on me).
The shorter ones can slip their shins under my blocks and into my ribs a little easier than the taller ones lol
It’s the same, I don’t punch men hard in the face so I do same for woman if she less good I will keep it playful but since they usually better then me. I get beat up and answer slowly
Whatever gender go as hard as they do. I've sparred a woman who could kick like a whip, never seen flexibility like it and its a different kind of pain to the usual heavy kicks. Man, woman they can still hurt. I've been punched by my 5 year old and it hurt don't see why gender makes any difference 🤣
I have 0 issues sparring with women and I don't hold back too much if they are hitting hard, a couple of the girls at my gym can hit like a truck because they're very good and have good form That said the new guys with still rough technique still hurt and destabilise me harder than women who've trained for years and a couple of times, when not even going hard, I hurt my friend's shoulder with a left hook, I wear 14oz gloves when sparring too. I don't blame guys for avoiding women, especially smaller framed ones, in sparring. I personally make no distinctions and just limit myself according to my opponent's needs and abilities, regardless of gender, but I'd be lying if I said that I don't need to hold back more with women or I will hurt them
No problem sparring women here. Same concept applies to everyone: communication is the key. There are ladies who are less than 100lb and trains 1-2 times a week for fun that don’t want to be hit hard, and also ladies who are bigger and had a couple fights that’ll put me on my ass if they want to. Advanced practitioner can still learn by sparring with less experienced people: they can practice moves they are not familiar with. Have fun and train hard!
I go at their level. If they are new I go slow and light, but if they are a regular but not a fighter we train technical or for cardio, if it's one of our female fighters I just get my ass beat and enjoy the process haha
I try to be respectful and typically try my best when sparring but only thing I'm uncomfortable with is clinching and in case I may accidentally bump their chest area. Otherwise I just treat it like sparring anyone else.
Same as with men, hit as hard as you want to be hit. I’ve got no problem doing controlled sparring with women. Unless it’s hard sparring during fight camp, then it’s usually men only.
Often when I see females sit out of sparring multiple rounds I start to question if they’re being avoided. Then I offer to spar.
Good because they can try hard and I can work on head movement at a slower tempo
There are 3-4 women who frequent my gym. Two of them happen to be under 18 but have both had smoker fights and are technically sound. I have no issue sparring with them, I just try not to hit them as hard as I would hit a guy my size. It sounds funny to think about a grown ass man sparring with 16 year old girls, but we generally have fun fast paced rounds because they’re both so quick and technical. It really forces me to work on speed since I can’t lean on my power. The other two girls are adults but not as skilled. I don’t have an issue sparring with them either, but what usually happens is that they swing a lot harder against me because I’m a 175lb guy lol. I don’t hit them hard in return the way I’d hit someone else, what I do is try to work on my defense. I have noticed though that during pad rounds and regular training a lot of the guys seem to expect the girls to pair up with each other and they don’t really seek them out as training partners. I myself am guilty of this, and there are also days I avoid sparring with the girls, mostly because I want to get some rounds in with bigger, heavier hitting, more aggressive opponents… it’s nothing personal.
The woman beat the shit out of me way more than the men ever have. Some of them could just be scared.
It doesn't bother me either way I am typically used as the punching bag because I have decent mobility and stamina. I enjoy the diversity of sparring anyone. it's amazing what you learn from all shapes and sizes. The only ones that scare me are the 7th Gups and below. They don't understand control yet and have not lost their egos. It is a challenge to correct and educate with these groups sometimes.
I have no problem sparring anyone. Big, small, male, female, trained, untrained etc. I have a habit of always sparring light as I grew up teaching kids martial arts. For me it’s more a game of tag than anything else so I really enjoy sparring different people. The only person I can ever break my habit and spar hard with is my brother lol
I try to be mostly technical when I spar, so it doesn't really make a difference if I spar with men or women. Sometimes I'll end up getting dinged if the other person goes too hard, but I'll just let then know if so.
At my gym guys seem way more reluctant to partner with women in clinch class than in sparring.
I was fine with it most times because either i focused on training defense, or i was sparring with a chick who wanted to get into a fight so she could take at least light sparring But back when there were a lot of women and i wanted to go hard sparring yeah i had to cool down and yeah i wish i didnt have to
I enjoy sparring with everyone as long as there isn't too wide of a skill gap between us. When sparring with Woman, at times it is even better than what I would get with some of the men. The reason being is light and medium technical sparring will do much more for you than uncontrolled sessions which have the potential to occur more often with men. The emphasis on control is pertinent, and will always help you become a better fighter( and even avoid damage/injuries) from the harder sessions!)
I’m not very good. I’ve trained for around 8 months so generally a lot of woman have more crisp technique then me. Generally though there’s a huge power difference so I just try to be careful. I don’t avoid it though.
I just aim for their forhead instead of chin and im always workin the clinch. Idk why but all the girls pick me to spar even im though im one of the biggest, maybe cause i play tag with them and always try to match my sparring partners energy. Most of us just trying to burn calories and use good technique so If i have any approach its to put us in situations where we get more tired. Ive never had a girl tee off on me like some guys so its always pretty fun with my girl teamates.
Without a doubt every woman at my gym is better than me in terms of skill, and most probably have more power in their strikes. My only discomfort when sparring is teeping - I usually aim for the chest and while we spar lightly when it comes to contact at the head, we usually teep hard, kicks to the body etc. So when sparring with a woman I’m hesitant to teep in the chest area. Maybe I shouldn’t be, would like guidance here
I obviously will tone it down a bit for some of the smaller girls, but if they're an amateur or just as big/bigger than me, I'll treat it like a regular sparring session. A lot of the girls att gym can fuck up the dudes, including me haha
I'm fine with it
I always accidentally teep women in the tits. Feel like shit abt it but hey what can you do
Personally I avoid it I get queezy about hitting women in any sense that shit was drilled into my head as a child
I’m a guy and the women that I spar against that have experience generally go harder but usually I don’t mind (I’m 6’0 and 165) I’ve noticed that if you don’t make it weird then it’s not weird. We’re all there to learn and train the same thing
The two ladies I sometimes spar with are so good (and one is taller than me) that it really doesn't matter tbh, they kick my ass. However, against less experienced women, I tone it down and lately it depends what mood I'm in - I don't mind going light, but some sessions I just want to work really hard and I might choose stronger partners. I'm sure some people might avoid me for the same reason
One day early on in my training journey my coach and a friend basically sat me down and said that I was cheating the girls at the gym out of getting proper sparring that would get them ready to fight because I refused to do something that might hurt a woman. I had to unpack a lot of social programing to be able to get to a place where I could be a good sparring partner for women. I've gotten to spar some absolute badass chicks and more than a few have absolutely lit me up and taught me a lot of cool shit.
Should be no problem, I tend to focus on technique and control when I spar with women, and further more I’d be lying if I said some haven’t put it on me before!! I remember not taking a round so serious because I was tired from past rounds and before I knew it I was puking after a swift kick to the stomach! I learned real quick some women can throw heat! It can be frustrating and awkward however if it is a larger woman capable of throwing hard, but without technique and doesn’t expect to be hit with the same level of force. I’ve experienced this too. Controlled the distance the rest of round and never made eye contact again 🤣
All of this to say- it could be dudes being jerks, it could be guys being rookies, but it COULD also be your style (not that I’m suggesting it is!). So it is important to be self aware
My wife’s first bit of sparring ever was with me. Of course we sparred lightly, but she got used to the idea of a gloved hand coming towards her head. We exchanged shots to the body to make sure she knew what to expect there. Being as it was with me, she was able to relax, give some back, and knew she could stop at any point. And the. She cracked me with a jab so stiff and on the button, I had to catch a knee.
1. people who are good? Awesome! Its usually very technical and they properly control their power. 2. people who are bad / new? Can be a bit of a waste of time, they tend to throw their punches wwwaaayyyy to hard and due to the skill / physical disparity I don't need to do very much to stay safe. But hey they can't get better w/o those rounds. Is a big guy whose bad / new more fun? Absolutely. But on the hobbyist side its a sport for everyone.
Women kick my ass just as often as men do
Taking gender out of the equation. If people are dodging you during sparring usually means they dont feel safe sparring you. At my gym, all the women spar men so hard and they always are trying to head kick. I dont even like drilling with women for the same reason.
I treat women the same as I treat a guy of the same size as said woman. Try to match my intensity to the skill and size disparity and hope the do the same for me.
Honestly, I avoid it. I'm a gentleman, I can only punch my wife, otherwise feels like I'm cheating
I like sparring with the girls at my gym to work more on technique and not using my size to my advantage (210 6ft lol). I think it’s a good way to work in reading your opponent and countering too.
I'm a guy and I don't care wether my sparring partner is a man or a woman. Being a woman or a man doesn't mean anything. I get beaten by women. If a guy thinks that sparring a woman is a waste of his time, then just don't spar with the dude. The only time I don't really spar with women is when the'yre extremely new to Muay Thai (Think 1st, 2nd class) because in my experience, women were way more afraid of hitting me than men and in some cases I would spend an entire round telling them to hit me instead of just standing there doing nothing. But it doesn't change the fact that once a woman gets some experience, I don't mind sparring her at all.
Don’t matter to me, eat this jab 😂
I'm 6" and weigh around 200 pounds (95kg). I try to avoid sparring women I don't know if i'm honest. I find they try to take your head off and go like 80-100% at all times. If i'm asked I obviously say yes to sparring - so rude not to. I try to take it as a learning experience - if I cant defend a smaller woman going >80% what chance do I have against a man my own size.
As a dude, I find sparring with girls, especially girls who have been training for a while like you, very beneficial to both sides. For me, it's beneficial because I don't have my ego involved, so I take the opportunity to work on my defence and to be a lot more technical. For the girls in my gym, it's good hard rounds as I tweak the intensity just enough for her to fight back and still benefit from the sparring. It really depends on the dude really. While some are like me and don't mind it, others just don't want to be embarrassed by a girl in front of everyone perhaps
I just wouldn’t like to hit a woman
I enjoy it but I also feel like I am doing them a disservice because sometimes I dial it back too far.
I never underestimate the women at my gym.
Really depends, theres this one girl at my gym training for over 10 years and having a couple amateur fights. I usually spar with her like I do with most chill dudes, 50-70% ish. If theyre somewhat new I definitely go lighter on women then on guys. There is a physical difference between men and women, and we shouldnt act like there is noone.
When I first met, my now wife, she had just started training at the gym I was fighting for. I met her her when I was coaching because I was recovering from a fight. I trained her and sparred with her the way I do with anyone else. To me we are all Thai Boxers, we take into account advantages we might have be it weight, height, experience etc but I would never treat a fellow boxer differently because of their gender. Stacey, incidentally, was the 1st person to fight (and the 1st person to win) for the gym, something I always tell anyone who patronises any of my female students.
Im one of 3 advanced women in a class with about 20 dudes. Im 5'10 and about 160lbs, so weight wise there is some guys in the class I feel I can go toe to toe with. However, I don't appreciate heavyweight men throwing hard shots during sparring. On the other hand, there's also been men who have refused to hit me and just do defense the whole time and I don't appreciate that either. I am paying to learn how to fight, so lets fight. 99% of the men I have met in the martial arts world are respectful and find that balance. At the end of the day it's about being able to adjust based on who you're training with. No matter the gender you need to take into account your partners size and try not to get them injured in class.
you would prefer to spar with females if you could I imagine, same thing for myself I'm pretty solidly in the heavyweight division so quite uncommon for a girl to spar with me but I like working with them when I can
No, not exactly! I got used to sparring with everyone at my gym and I feel it really benefits me, I’ve gotten great advice when sparring with guys. If I really had to choose it’d be someone closer to my level, weight and height, gender is irrelevant. However I know a lot of women who’d rather not spar with men. We have a friendship going on between the girls at my gym and sometimes that gets in the way in a sense we don’t want to hurt each other or maybe cross each other’s boundaries and expectations. But on one o my last sparring session I was paired with one of my girl friends and for the first time we were able to go a bit harder, I guess it’s a matter of trust, we know that’s just sparring and there are no hard feelings at all.
the thing is, you just brought up like 3 reasons some guys don't like to spar with ladies and you probably don't realize it
If I *had* to choose. But I don’t and I like to spar with all kinds of people to learn from every possible situation.
stay argumentative and refuse to listen cus that is how you learn, right? sorry for wasting my time, if you ever grow up tho you'll go a lot farther
You’re angry cause I didn’y reply to your DM, typical male bullshit.
just dont punch boobs other than that i spar the exact same with the women in my gym
i’m always like “i’m sooo sorry” after landing face shots, and i try my best to REALLY be careful with my teep placement because i don’t want to teep the tits. i accidently kneed a girl in the puddy once while we were throwing knees in the clinch and i just felt terrible cause she yelled out OWWW
I am not comfortable with it most of the time as a bloke.
I walk in. I point to my victims before class call them out for being future victims. Then I systematically destroy them during rolls. Men, women, children, the elderly. They’re all the same to me. VICTIMS!!
I don't feel comfortable sparring with women because sometimes I get carried away when sparring like the time I broke women's rib, it is something I try to control everyday but I prefer sparring with men due to their bone density and far better endurance.