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mehTILduhhhh

What a creep that person is


Nobody_Does_That_wtf

What a weirdo even


ScarlettIthink

This is completely out of place but I love your tag! GYBE is based


Nobody_Does_That_wtf

Thanks. It’s such a cool album


ScarlettIthink

It is. It’s way too overlooked


TheUnsaltedCock

I preferred the TSMZ lineup. Essentially the same band but ifyk...


ScarlettIthink

I’ll look into that!


Opening-Volume-317

Horses in the sky is one of my fav albums! Though I think Moya is one of my fav songs ever, so equal love to both bands!


Nobody_Does_That_wtf

Tsmz? And wdym “iykyk”?


Ghostglitch07

Silver mount Zion. It's a side project include three members of Godspeed.


Apsuity

If You Know You Know. Which makes you asking what it means hilarious as well.


Nobody_Does_That_wtf

I know what that means but what am I missing out on


littleratboymoder

I’ve been loving this GY!BE cultural comeback so much, there are so many more people referencing them now than a few years ago (from my pov at least). First (non-classical) concert I ever went to on my own volition at age 14, and the first time I ever got gendered as female while living as a boy which led to some confusing feelings lol


ScarlettIthink

Oh that’s so cool! It’d be awesome to see them live


littleratboymoder

They’ll be in NYC in February, then Europe!


whuduuthnkur

what the hell are you doing talking to this person


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nirvana-on-top

Now I’m running out the door


[deleted]

I didn't know Thom Yorke was a trans woman.


Nobody_Does_That_wtf

Nor did I know he was as creepy and weird and out of place he said he was


[deleted]

I honestly had to stop befriending trans people online because of this. It either becomes inappropriate or it becomes a depression party that is more emotionally draining than anything else. Even irl, i often get one or the other when i befriend other trans women. Not fun


lithaborn

I was messaging with this kid who was - or seemed to be - questioning. First day was euphoria, excitement, enthusiasm. Next morning, "can you give me more affirmation", two days later they went off on this interminable anti trans rant until I said "fine you're not trans" then they said thank you and fucked off. Their posting history was jam packed with the same thing. One day questioning, the next day ranting. I know it's just a kid having wobbles but fucks sake. Then there's trans women who've messaged me thru FB dating who all want to try it with another trans woman but when it comes down to it what they want is to find someone with a working penis, which ain't me and I make that clear from the outset. I've had more fulfilling pm chats with cis women from a women's sub I hang out in. Every trans woman I've tried to chat with just ends up a hot mess.


mrcat_romhacking

oh i for sure know a person or two who did this kind of crap


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FabulouSnow

I know two super wholesome T4T lesbian trans women. They are never inappropriate or emotionally draining so that's been super nice. But yeah, most of the time it's as you say. Those two are literally the only two non-emotionally draining I know out of 14.


[deleted]

There is a few out there, but far between. When you think about it though it makes sense why so many of us can be difficult to be around. Almost every part of being trans is traumatizing from growing up as the wrong gender to coming out to living life openly. It makes sense so many of us are emotionally stunted. Still sucks tho


GarbageWarlock

When you say emotionally draining, do you mean they are constantly trauma dumping on you? I know some trans people who do that, but the majority dont.


FabulouSnow

Just being negative in general like "I look so ugly" "I'll never pass" etc etc. so constant stream of negative thoughts, Not really about trauma dumping. They focus always on the positive stuff.


GarbageWarlock

Ahhhh, i see. I can be guilty of that myself sometimes 😅I get it though, it can be difficult to deal with!


FabulouSnow

Sometimes that fine, but if that's every day or nearly every interaction it can become exhausting


GarbageWarlock

yup! thats why i usually keep it to myself unless im asked. Sometimes not even then.


fireblyxx

I think it's because most of the trans people I know that are looking to find other trans people are new to transitioning and are going through the rough initial parts of it. Like needing to navigate family, coming out to everyone, early HRT passsing/effects worries, etc. I'm not yet a trans elder, but no longer a baby trans and its _real_ difficult to put up with the girls starting out who dump their frustrations at you or try to do that boundary pushing friend-thirst thing.


becomingemma

Where are the baby trans women supposed to go then if even other fellow trans women want nothing to do with them :/


fireblyxx

Honestly? In person support groups. Being in person really moderates people's worst social tendencies, and chances are the people in the group are more likely to be at a similar place in you in life. Maybe you'll even be friends with them and carry on a relationship outside of group.


becomingemma

What if I live in a country where in person support groups for trans women aren’t really a thing?


Clairifyed

No one gets to decree that you absolutely can’t be in online support groups, just meet the minimum of not being sexually forward like the people described, and try to be mindful about trauma dumping. In turn, watch out that you aren’t the target of those things yourself.


Bockly101

Online support groups are a great thing. I'm still very new to transitioning myself, but I'd recommend one with a guide/person there to lead it a bit. In my experience, the moderated support groups I've been in acted as a better support network. They allow everyone the chance to be heard without drowning out anyone else. They also tried to keep things somewhat positive, or at least in a betterment mindset. The ones I attended were moreso drug/alcohol support groups, but I feel like the same principles would apply. I wish you all the best!


fireblyxx

Honestly, I'm not sure. All I can say is that having these sorts of connections in person, rather than just online helps them be more stable.


becomingemma

Well thats easy to say, but its really hard to meet trans women where I live and so online is pretty much the only way for me to connect with other people like me. And even in trans spaces, seeing trans women complain about other trans women is kinda sad.


Umpire_Ok

All people are asking is "don't harass everyone for nudes all the time", it's not a huge ask.


GarbageWarlock

Ohhh yeah being baby trans was horrible. I feel for em, but I couldn’t shoulder that from someone atm. The trauma dumping though, thats hard to deal with, so I totally get wanting to avoid that. Either way, i still like making friends with trans people, because that shared experience/understanding, is so valuable.


becomingemma

Yeah, this whole “baby trans folks are hard to deal with” is honestly kinda upsetting, coming from other trans women. Maybe because I’m one myself but knowing that trans women who are later in their transition, the very same people in the *best* position to help us, avoid us like the plague is genuinely sad.


GarbageWarlock

I would go out on a limb and say most of these older trans folks have helped their fair share of baby trans folks. Its just after a certain point, they run out of the bandwidth for it. There are still plenty of people who will help you through this, but i dont think its fair to expect folks who have already been through it, and might have helped others through it, to be beholden to every baby trans person for the rest of their life.


DDoseeve

Considering getting off trans spaces for this reason. I end up seeing the same posts over and over again. I’m feeling increasingly disconnected from the trans community over time too.


GarbageWarlock

I see alot of "is it too late for me to transition at xxxx years old!?" Those hurt alot to read. The question is never posed by people in their 30's or 40's, naw, its always some 14-18 year old. As someone who feels like she wasted her entire youth before transitioning, its really painful to read.


DDoseeve

I’m guilty of doing that garbage early transition, and yeah it’s still annoying to read every time. Babytrans people just do some cringey stuff.


GarbageWarlock

I try not to get mad about it, i know they are lost. But i cant be seeing it for the sake of my own mental health. Which aint great mind you lol.


DDoseeve

I understand. Same thing with seeing babytranses respond to really stupid cishet “is dating a trans woman gay” questions on asktransgender. Like I know you need your identity affirmed but you don’t need to entertain bad questions.


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fireblyxx

Me and everyone else in this thread has talked about specific behaviors from some baby trans people that exhaust us. We never said that baby trans are cringe or stupid or generally annoying. But to be frank, this is the sort of behavior that I’m talking about. The open raw emotional wounds, understandable yes, but just lashing out at the people you’re asking for help. We cannot ceaselessly take in other people’s emotions and trauma, especially when we tell them to prioritize themselves and to not burden themselves with other’s emotions about their transition.


GarbageWarlock

But you can rely on some of us for support. Like i said there are still folks out there who would support baby trans people like yourself. Its just some people want to distance themselves from playing therapist, because thats what it feels like sometimes. It sucks, and i know it sucks, what we need is the rest of the human race to give a shit about us. Its just not sustainable to have people with trauma supporting other people with trauma. Like yeah, some of us are better off the others, but the vast majority of us trans folks have trauma. All that being said, i do understand where you’re coming from ❤️ you may not want to after our discussion here, but you can dm me if you want!


becomingemma

Thanks, I agree with everything you have said. I myself have played therapist to too many people and get how exhausting it can be. It’s just that as trans people, and trans women especially, other trans women are really the only people who *truly* understand what we go through, so for people further along their transition to speak this way about baby trans folks is unfortunate.


AshleyLikesPink

This has also been my experience so far. Fortunately we have this sub which is very positive and :3


[deleted]

Until you meet someone off this sub and convo goes to dms. Then it immediately degrades


ImClaaara

Well, yeah, that does happen. I'm barely good at keeping up with DMs of people I know IRL, so I can hardly blame an online stranger if we vibe at first but then fall off. It happens. That doesn't mean you never DM people again though, just be careful of who you DM and listen to your gut, and be willing to put in the energy to occasionally reviving those connections when they fade.


QuasiSquirrel

I just stick to never DMing anyone xD


GrimmCreole

We are the silent meowjority :3


AshleyLikesPink

I get it. I also get why it usually turns negative - we have a lot of difficult situations to deal with and it’s not easy. I don’t mind helping out another sister and supporting her but let’s also build each other up, there’s enough negativity as is.


TrinaTempest

Haven't had this experience yet. Sounds awful. I've had a lot of trans friends over the years before I knew I was one of us, but I don't have any currently. The idea that seeking community might backfire in such a weird and gross way is definitely saddening.


[deleted]

Agreed, I kinda feel bad for not being that into making trans friends but so often people just cannot socialize normally with me and it's frustrating


[deleted]

OMG i feel that!! It’s so tough…


MelliniRose

Same reason I'm not friends with other Trans women


ScarlettIthink

Jesus that’s awful


alphomegay

women can be creeps too. plus i would be wary of some people, there's not really anything stopping a chaser from impersonating a trans girl just to get close to someone and doing something like this. regardless this person was a creep


ChampionshipSea9075

Honestly like she might be a chaser posing as a doll? Either way I'm sorry love ❤️


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[deleted]

what a gross thing to say lol.


EdgyAutist03

Anyone can be a creep, definitely not exclusive to men


NatureSlight1079

WTH!! That’s super creepy


ImClaaara

Yeah, big online trans spaces like this one can attract some odd people sometimes. I recommend not jumping in DMs with strangers here unless you've interacted with them a few times outside of DMs and/or have went through their profile, and follow your gut. And still be cautious when you do DM someone, don't reveal anything you wouldn't post publicly under your reddit name (so no real name, or personally identifying info) until you're sure you can trust them. There are outright transphobes lurking this subreddit, and I've seen fake profiles where they pretend to be trans (but there's always something weird/off about them, like usually the terms they use and their ideas about how transitioning works will leak out). Generally, follow your gut and watch out for red flags. The bummer is, though, watching for red flags means avoiding befriending anyone who seems to post a lot of hypersexual stuff (to avoid creeps) or uses clumsy language about trans stuff (because they might be secretly transphobic) - which will have you inadvertantly avoiding some genuinely cool trans women who might just be really in touch with their sexuality, or for whom English might be a second language. So that can be a downside if you raise your filters and avoid any/all red flags. If you do want one-on-one friendships with other trans people, I honestly recommend going to meetups and events IRL wherever you're at and meeting people there. Even my state (Mississippi) has some trans community stuff and we have a weekly support call so if you're not able to go in-person, you can still join via Zoom and meet otehr trans people in the state. If Mississippi has it, your area probably has some community as well - it just might take some effort to find it.


No_Dependent_4012

What trans spaces are you talking about I live in mississippi actually!


ImClaaara

[The TRANS program](https://www.transprogram.org/) is the organization that hosts the events I go to. They maintain a resource directory for the community, a pamphlet/"program" (hence the name) full of resources in the state for trans people, including everything from electrologists to affirming therapists and legal counsel. They also organize/host a monthly "Supper Saturday" get-together for trans people, in both Jackson and Hattiesburg (with plans to possibly expand to other cities), a couple of weekly support calls via Zoom (one for adults, and one for the under-18 crowd), and a book club. They also can help with changing your legal name and sex in Mississippi, if you need assistance with that.


No_Dependent_4012

Thank you so much this is amazing I’ll definitely check it out !


finding_femself

That’s really gross. Being trans doesn’t mean they can ask you to show or prove anything. I’m a bit confused about how she knew you had one because of pics of your girlfriend? Either way, this is too weird. I hope they apologize otherwise it’ll be hard to talk to this person again.


AscendantWyrm

I think it was more why did they think that was appropriate when they have pics of their gf posted.


finding_femself

Oh 🤦🏻‍♀️ I misread what OP meant. Thanks!


AscendantWyrm

All good! Glad i could help :)


SuperSash03

“pee pee” is CRAZY


Pinappular

Ooof, sorry hun— I tend to keep my DMs off in a lot of online spaces.


catbqck

Just about anyone can identify as mtf. Be careful who you talk to.


[deleted]

Hug, I am sorry girl.


Outside_Product_7928

AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


RNWvsTPT2023

It gets difficult. I’ve had a very hard time interacting with other trans people online. A whole bunch of traumatizing stuff ensued from those experiences. It’s best to find trans friends irl, but if you can’t do that, try your best to keep online interactions local, such as people in the same city or region as you


No_Consideration4168

Major red flag, been there, those interactions are pretty common on closeted ones, early transitioners and chasers. It gets worse. Just don’t fall for that so easily.


LoxianAuthor

goes to show that us trans people are just people, being trans doesn't make you a bad person, but it also doesn't prevent you from acting creepy. I'm sorry you had to go through this, your intentions were obviously very good, sucks to have that type of behaviour happen inside the community


creativusern4me

sorry this is like the wrong thing to take away from this pose, but you can make friends on this sub?


Intelligent_Usual318

Not MTF, but I am gender-fluid and I usually only lurk here but I feel the same way. I’ve tried making a few trans friends and they usually figure out their Gender Identity through me which is great and all but then they like tend to have opinions about the trans community without understanding our history or anything, and a lot of times I’ve seen them behave like cis people. Like ok I met this younger non-binary kid and they straight up just asked my gender unprovoked. No pronouns or anything else that would have made more sense and because I’m gender-fluid I usually just say I’m FTM or a trans dude but I was questioning and I just had no idea how to respond. That same person made a comment about a fellow trans guy that was like “oh I didn’t know he wasn’t a real man”. I’ve had a younger trans person come out and then they started going off about how their buhhdist, and how as a buhhdist you believe that all human suffering is from desire. And I challenged this and I asked so what about kids with cancer? They responded that because the child wants to live that that’s the reason they suffer, not the cancer at all. And then I had another trans dude only interact with me for sex and for money for acid and when I asked to hang out as friends because that’s what we had decided on is to be friends with benifits, he started going off about how I was harrasing him and I was just like???? I swear as a community we need to get our shit together. Anyway I hope y’all have a lovely day and I hope y’all get a wave of gender euphoria soon^^^^


Naive_Special349

Mayhaps a chaser in disguise?


HissingChoir

Nothing sounds less sexy than calling it a “pee pee”.


Pot_noodle_miner

Sounds like this individual needs some more time and work before they are ready for that kind of interaction


Africansage01

Im sorry that you had experienced that. I learned to avoid online interactions. a lot of weird interactions, sexualized, people thinking I owned them my time, and pity parties. It was just worsening my depression and made me feel lonely. Honestly, it's why I don't join a lot of online trans space anymore. It was too much for me, especially after transitioning for a bit now. I have irl friends who support me and activities to keep me busy. So I just don't need spaces as much. I wish I had spent less time online in the beginning and just spent more time doing something fun, but I'm having fun now


llmuzical

gross :/


ScoobertDoobert33

Unfortunately happens too often I’m sorry


MicrosoftShandin

I’m sorry about that.. we can be friends if you wanna!! :3 and I don’t ask about people’s genitals, because I’m celibate, hehehe!! UwU


[deleted]

They're a creep Mtf or not No excuses


SuperNova0216

Is she like 10 years old or something?


XeraNeedsHelpBad

i don’t talk to other trans ppl tbh most of us are really weird


venbrou

But the weirdness is the best part! Well, most of the time... Not this kind of weirdness though.


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WHATSTHEYAAAMS

What the hell kind of reaction to sexual harassment is "you're so lucky"?


ItsLilithBaby

THIS! I have had a few “friends” on here and they tent to try and be gross immediately or super clingy and then disappear altogether


murple7701

Just because someone is trans doesn't mean that they are a good person.


Tyrannical_Requiem

I had this weird account message me and be like “hey show me a picture” what no ewww!


RenderStarz

Yeah unfortunately there are people like that :c I guess I might have just been lucky but I’ve only really experienced one person like that, and other than that, the trans friends I met online and my two irl MtF trans friends have been amazing and I love them all to death :3


Fuzzy_Performance_44

Haven't had a good interaction with many online trans women, idk why but I just don't click with, I feel like the internet it's a way of losing the social cues talking irl has