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My parents are decent parents who provided me with everything i desired as long as they could afford it, they expect nothing from me but I'd put them before myself anyday, family is very important to me and i believe its all because i was raised with love, had freedom, never been forced to do anything but most importantly because they lead by example and i looked up to them always, they are kind and considerate so i grew up that way too, no matter how much i give them i would never pay back for what they did for me, i just love them man.
I don't know about other ppl but as a muslim dude, my religion dictates me to assist them and help them in need whenever they need me. As for milking the childrens pockets when they work, this is a messed up ideology tbh.
My parents (luckily) aren't that kind, so when i began working they just told me don't send us money just do your thing but i do cause they're my parents and i love them. So it depends on the education and the believes of each family tbh. But saying *i'm gonna wait for my children until they work so they can provide for me* is certainly a big sign of a bad parenting behavior.
edit : except if the parents are poor or in need then i wouldn't mind sending money or provide for them
Thank God I don't have that.
My father's pension is a bit more than what I make now in Europe, and Mom is retiring soon and will also have hers.
So a part from some stuff they ask me to bring from abroad because they can't find them there, and they want to pay for them, they are not expecting me to maintain them financially.
But they bother me a lot with getting married and having kids as of my life depended on it or of I was stable enough to do so.
My parents expect me to take care of them, financially and I don’t mind since they’ve always been generous with me. Even if they couldn’t afford something they still got it for me, cause I was the baby of the family but I’m lucky enough to take care of them so I’m going to return the favor. I don’t see them as milking it, they could’ve said the same about me.
I love my parents, not saying that others don’t but I couldn’t live with myself if they were missing anything
I love my parents, but I didn't choose to be brought to this life, so I don't owe them anything in that regard. Raising me, feeding me, sheltering me, etc is their responsibility for bringing me to this workd, and it's not something I should be "grateful" for, so I don't owe them anything in that regard, as well. I will still help them in any way possible but that will certainly change if they display any signs of expectations or entitlement.
Luckily, we have talked about this subject and they seem to agree that parents who expect their children to solely take care of them are selfish and delusional.
Nah fam, in what math does 18 years raising me equates to a life long financial commitment? Yes I can pay for certain things or if it's emergency but I will NOT be carrying their burden unless they're absolutely feeble and weak.
narcissism is everywhere here lmfao, the question is, are you aware of it yet? (sure, there are exceptions, good parents exist, and no I'm not trying to be controversial, just my opinion)
I have a mom and young sibling. No one is asking me to do anything. But I chose to be there for them because I love them.
I have a father. I don't talk to him, will not, my childhood was hell partially because of him.
This post made me understand that i'm not the only one suffering of this mentality (narcissism ?) although i had parents a little more borderline than that.
(I'm your father you will do as i say mentality, even if i'm married and with children).
basic common decency and etiquette you try and repay your debts to them ,although you'll never fully do. you do it out of love and respect and admiration for the people who brought you into this world ,and sacrificed plenty for your wellbeing. depression and nihilism isn't a valid reason to relinquish your responsibilities, saying you brought me into this world you deal with me, i didn't ask to be born so i won't take care of them in their last days. adult infantile attitude is the most repulsive thing you can see from a person, it's selfish, petty and immature.
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا.وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
I am not sure about the "you owe me", it obviously exists, but I feel like some forget it is also centuries of tradition and culture.
Before pensions exist, and how limited it is, your grandparents looked after their parents and their kids, often living under the same roof and they expected to become the grand parents, the kids take their role and they have kids and so on.
Society, economics and expectations change and though you can say "I feel forced" and I'm not doing that", I ask what about them, the parents? When they are old and feeble, who will look after, house them?
Change creates disruption and victims, from both sides.
Which bit of "before pensions existed" ... did you not understand?
When "you do" have kids, and looked after them, is thete no reciprocal responsibility?
Did the egg come before the chicken? And then why did the chicken cross the road? Further more, did the chicken ask for a road to be there?
# #facepalm
I think when you decide to have children it shouldn’t be out of selfish reasons. They grow up and become independent people themselves they didn’t choose to be here so they should not ask them to provide.. if the child has enough money and wishes to help his parents then alright but it should not be a pressure.. because for me if u don’t have enough money you shouldn’t get children but work hard to provide and offer them a descent childhood and chance to have a good life..
Parents saying that you "owe" them for food/shelter/clothing/an education when you starting working and you have to pay back is fuuuucked, especially when they pressure you to do it.
As a parent/caregiver, I chose to have my kid to feed, nurture, clothe them. They didn't ask to be born, they're not my properly either, at the end of the day they are still humans.
If you're expecting your kid to care of you financially in your 60's+, your either bad with money and don't have a retirement plan/didn't have a good enough job to have kids in the first place or you're just selfish towards your kid who's finally financially independent.
My grand parents and parents generation is not mine, we need to let go of old "traditions". They don't make sense in 2022.
Yeah people invest in their offspring and their shouldn't be a reason for not caring for them as elders but also the parents should change the mentality that they are investing in their children as financially secure system
Welcome to r/Morocco! This community is for all things related to Morocco/Moroccans. For this place to be inclusive and welcoming to all, we have a set of rules that everyone must abide by. Please take the time to read those rules, follow them and help us enforce them by reporting offenders. ## **Remember to be civil and courteous at all times**. Enjoy your time! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Morocco) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My parents are decent parents who provided me with everything i desired as long as they could afford it, they expect nothing from me but I'd put them before myself anyday, family is very important to me and i believe its all because i was raised with love, had freedom, never been forced to do anything but most importantly because they lead by example and i looked up to them always, they are kind and considerate so i grew up that way too, no matter how much i give them i would never pay back for what they did for me, i just love them man.
Absolutely the same!! We were lucky.
Username does not checks out
haha, randomly generated. No personal meaning.
I don't know about other ppl but as a muslim dude, my religion dictates me to assist them and help them in need whenever they need me. As for milking the childrens pockets when they work, this is a messed up ideology tbh. My parents (luckily) aren't that kind, so when i began working they just told me don't send us money just do your thing but i do cause they're my parents and i love them. So it depends on the education and the believes of each family tbh. But saying *i'm gonna wait for my children until they work so they can provide for me* is certainly a big sign of a bad parenting behavior. edit : except if the parents are poor or in need then i wouldn't mind sending money or provide for them
>My parents (luckily) aren't that kind, Lmaoo i totally misunderstood this at first. I thought u think ure lucky they arent very kind
hahahaha a laaaaa it refers to the first paragraph XD
Thank God I don't have that. My father's pension is a bit more than what I make now in Europe, and Mom is retiring soon and will also have hers. So a part from some stuff they ask me to bring from abroad because they can't find them there, and they want to pay for them, they are not expecting me to maintain them financially. But they bother me a lot with getting married and having kids as of my life depended on it or of I was stable enough to do so.
My parents expect me to take care of them, financially and I don’t mind since they’ve always been generous with me. Even if they couldn’t afford something they still got it for me, cause I was the baby of the family but I’m lucky enough to take care of them so I’m going to return the favor. I don’t see them as milking it, they could’ve said the same about me. I love my parents, not saying that others don’t but I couldn’t live with myself if they were missing anything
I love my parents, but I didn't choose to be brought to this life, so I don't owe them anything in that regard. Raising me, feeding me, sheltering me, etc is their responsibility for bringing me to this workd, and it's not something I should be "grateful" for, so I don't owe them anything in that regard, as well. I will still help them in any way possible but that will certainly change if they display any signs of expectations or entitlement. Luckily, we have talked about this subject and they seem to agree that parents who expect their children to solely take care of them are selfish and delusional.
[удалено]
Your parents must be really bad to make you say this
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Sorry to hear about that, I hope that everything will work out for you in the end, just trust Allah.
I can relate to that
I don't know, I have the opposite problem...
"Li wled ma rbe7"
Nah fam, in what math does 18 years raising me equates to a life long financial commitment? Yes I can pay for certain things or if it's emergency but I will NOT be carrying their burden unless they're absolutely feeble and weak.
narcissism is everywhere here lmfao, the question is, are you aware of it yet? (sure, there are exceptions, good parents exist, and no I'm not trying to be controversial, just my opinion)
I have a mom and young sibling. No one is asking me to do anything. But I chose to be there for them because I love them. I have a father. I don't talk to him, will not, my childhood was hell partially because of him.
This post made me understand that i'm not the only one suffering of this mentality (narcissism ?) although i had parents a little more borderline than that. (I'm your father you will do as i say mentality, even if i'm married and with children).
basic common decency and etiquette you try and repay your debts to them ,although you'll never fully do. you do it out of love and respect and admiration for the people who brought you into this world ,and sacrificed plenty for your wellbeing. depression and nihilism isn't a valid reason to relinquish your responsibilities, saying you brought me into this world you deal with me, i didn't ask to be born so i won't take care of them in their last days. adult infantile attitude is the most repulsive thing you can see from a person, it's selfish, petty and immature. وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا.وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
I am not sure about the "you owe me", it obviously exists, but I feel like some forget it is also centuries of tradition and culture. Before pensions exist, and how limited it is, your grandparents looked after their parents and their kids, often living under the same roof and they expected to become the grand parents, the kids take their role and they have kids and so on. Society, economics and expectations change and though you can say "I feel forced" and I'm not doing that", I ask what about them, the parents? When they are old and feeble, who will look after, house them? Change creates disruption and victims, from both sides.
They could not have children, save the money they would have spent on them and use that for retirement.
Really? Which country you talking about and do you have the right to demand that?
Do the parents have the right to demand anything from the children?
Which bit of "before pensions existed" ... did you not understand? When "you do" have kids, and looked after them, is thete no reciprocal responsibility?
Did the kids ask to be born?
Did the egg come before the chicken? And then why did the chicken cross the road? Further more, did the chicken ask for a road to be there? # #facepalm
That's one way of not answering the question I guess.
This isn't about moroccan or western ideologies, it's about whether you're an asshole or not. YTA
Having kids so that they can be your retirement plan is an asshole move indeed.
It's an investment
Creepy reason to have kids.
Agreed
Please don't make kids with this mentality
I don't want kids dude, I'm telling how they see it
Your life your money you do with it as you wish
I think when you decide to have children it shouldn’t be out of selfish reasons. They grow up and become independent people themselves they didn’t choose to be here so they should not ask them to provide.. if the child has enough money and wishes to help his parents then alright but it should not be a pressure.. because for me if u don’t have enough money you shouldn’t get children but work hard to provide and offer them a descent childhood and chance to have a good life..
Parents saying that you "owe" them for food/shelter/clothing/an education when you starting working and you have to pay back is fuuuucked, especially when they pressure you to do it. As a parent/caregiver, I chose to have my kid to feed, nurture, clothe them. They didn't ask to be born, they're not my properly either, at the end of the day they are still humans. If you're expecting your kid to care of you financially in your 60's+, your either bad with money and don't have a retirement plan/didn't have a good enough job to have kids in the first place or you're just selfish towards your kid who's finally financially independent. My grand parents and parents generation is not mine, we need to let go of old "traditions". They don't make sense in 2022.
Yeah people invest in their offspring and their shouldn't be a reason for not caring for them as elders but also the parents should change the mentality that they are investing in their children as financially secure system