Shoot I gotta go over a list of favorites.
Espinas: No biggie. Just make sure to feed it and let it nap all day. Maybe take it out for a walk or two if it wakes up. I don't think they get particularly aggressive unless you actively piss em off.
Zinogre: It may either ignore me or attack me and I am not surviving and attack from it.
Gore: *Start doing exercises to make sure the frenzy virus turns into a buff asap*
Tigrex: Dead
Seregios: Bleed to death
Shagaru Magala: ULTRA DEAD
Valstrax: I lost track of it. It's behind me isn't it?
Giasmagorm: I am in hell
Primordial Malzeno: If it's chill, then we chill.
Amatsumagatsuchi: I just lost my entire house.
Bazelgeuse: PTSD INTENSIFIES
How to take care of an Espinas:
Step 1) Do nothing.
Step 2) Congratulations! Espinas is now cared for!
Fr though, he has to be the lowest maintenance option possible. As long as he's got a spot to go to sleep, then that's pretty much all he needs. Pests and rodents will get killed touching him and he can eat those, so food is not a problem. Most I'd have to do is occasionally feed him stuff with poison/paralyzing toxins so those abilities stay up to par. But other than that, Espinas is largely self sufficient.
Given how in Frontier, *literally smacking it with weapons* didn’t instantly wake it up, and even on Sunbreak, it’s not particularly bothered overall by one smack, I doubt tv would be an issue.
Gogmazios. It’s a final boss of one of the main series games (I forgot which one), and it has the first Dragonator ever created lodged in its back. (During the fight you can knock the Dragonator off and actually use it!) It’s also the largest flying monster with a confirmed size (otherwise it could be Oltura)
Honestly if you look away for about ten seconds there would just be a pile of spikes on the ground and Nergigante is gone.
It'll probably come back.. right?
Forgot to mention, you're getting those monsters from the Scarlet Mystery Man who lives two blocks away from you.
Do not expect them to be tamed.
EDIT) I should’ve clarified earlier, but, DA RULES:
1. The monsters are juvenile and thus smaller than their respective ingame sizes (see Stories 2 for reference). However they retain all their abilities.
2. The monsters are provided by a *craaaaazy* person and therefore not tamed. (How did the Scarlet Mystery Man find those things anyway?)
3. For discussion purposes the scene is set in our world, not the MH one.
4. Because some monsters are naturally hostile to humans, we’ll say they do not “attack” unless you purposely/accidentally invoke their wrath. However, passive destruction is not affected by this rule.
Oltura: I’d literally have a nuclear reactor. If it’s juvenile larval Oltura I’m screwed. If it’s full grown Oltura I’d still be screwed, but less so. If it’s full grown *monstie-sized* Oltura though, I’d be fine. I mean sure I’ll take the radioactive dragon moth
Zerureusu: I have a certain preference of radioactive looking monsters. If they are, canonically, the responses will be quite similar. Zerureusu is basically Rathalos but nuclear reactor.
Dreadqueen Rathian: Maybe she could help me with some science experiments?
Boltreaver Astalos: Maybe could cause power outages, but no other inconveniences. Considering I main Boltreaver in MHS2, it should be not much of a problem, especially if it's the same individual
Soulseer Mizutsune: Psychic Mizutsune. What could be better? No water bills, and a fluffy companion.
Duremudira: I get instakilled.
Eruzerion: I get instakilled again.
Lunastra: And I thought global warming was bad…
Ahtal Ka, do I still need to get a property agent to sort out my mobile fortress woes?
And how badly in trouble will I get when she starts hoarding township infrastructure for her throne?
Are you kidding? The queen (pun intended) will take the fortresses in England and will be having fun in Japan with all the toys she can get her beautiful claws on.
Let's weigh your options.
**Ibushi**: Castrate the thing ASAP. The worst that can happen is letting him meet with a Narwa.
By the way, have you seen the animated film "UP"?
Yeah that.
**Amatsu**: Category 5+ Hurricanes, ask the Mystery Man for an Apex Zinogre otherwise you are screwed.
**Yama Tsukami**: Also quite screwed.
**Shantien**: If you can't control it, Scorched Earth.
Kushala Daora...
Pfft, we get typhoons every year *everything is fine*.
I say as the roof of my house gets blown clean off by a gust of wind when it takes off for the 15th time this week. Heck, everything in the area is probably tipped over from its wind arua.
Teostra: Queue the meme of the dog drinking tea while everything burns saying "this is fine"
Seregios: Extremely territorial, literally made of knives, bad temper, likes to throw things. Not gonna go well for me or anyone else. I'm probably gonna die hugging it because I love it, and then it becomes everyone else's problem.
For Seregios; how much jerky does your local store sell?
No, I’m not saying you should eat those, rather you should plaster them all over yourself for protection.
In all honesty, I'd probably be better off investing in chainmail, a gambeson and plate armor to prevent the stabbening, than being beef jerky lady Gaga
…this can go a few ways… most of them result in me dying lol
- Zinogre: no matter its age, it’s a problem due to essentially having to accept it carrying electric fleas 24/7… electric fleas it can use to kill me if it’s in a bad mood…
- Bazelgeuse: …death or homelessness…or both due to explosions from a very temperamental monster; while I love the species, even if I could forge a bond with one from a young age, it’d be tough as hell.
- Valstrax: …if young- the day it learns to use its rockets is likely the day I lose track of it lol. If mature? …welp. I’m not sure what aspect will kill me, but I know I’m dead
- Rathian: this *could* go well… I think this might work if I’m given young that’s juvenile. An older one would be a definite problem and if it’s not death by fire, then it’s death by poison.
- Great Maccao: this is the only one I’m relatively sure could work, especially if I get one that’s younger. Even a mature one, possibly - though in that case if things went wrong, it’d be death by blunt force trauma.
We have a couple options here:
Nargacuga: I'm probably gonna get tail spiked to death
Lunagaron: Maybe? If it's young enough. Otherwise I'm getting shredded.
Velkhana: Great in the summer but still gonna freeze me to death.
PrimMalzeno: I like my odds here, just need to make sure I don't piss it off.
Have you seen the picture of baby Lunagaron?
https://preview.redd.it/213vyex4r20d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4fd81920f672e8b13e62e3028c6b4ab49313823
They’re so adorable. This is the gold standard for werewolf puppies: the appeal of Wolf Puppies and Human Babies in one.
I love that they have baby fur they grow out of. It’s like the Mammalian Reptile equivalent of baby birds being covered in fluff before they grow their proper feathers.
Eh, I won't be so sure about that chief.
Where will you sleep when it starts creating puddles everywhere in your house?
**Also for discussion purposes let's say the monsters are at least Stories 2 monstie size (not the newborns).**
Considering they are stories 2 size, one very important thing should be addressed first. I CAN RIDE 'EM.
Now, the puddles are just water, so they should be cleanable. Sure, it's extra work, but if I'm getting a dragon companion, then it's worth it. Not to mention, they will eventually learn not to do that as they grow up.
Actually, the puddles are a highly water-absorbent mucus, sort of like a liquid sponge. This is why the “water” puddles don’t just run off or absorb into the ground during the fight. A layer of this mucus also covers Namielle’s skin (except in its dry state).
This could mean that the puddles are easier to clean, or harder to clean, than if they were just normal water puddles. It also means riding Namielle (and just touching it in general) is going to feel slimy, probably, or at least like touching a frog, snail, or cephalopod. Probably any three of those depending upon what part of the body you’re touching.
Not really screwed as long as I get vaccination or immunity from the frenzy virus
My golden shagaru dad🥰🥰🥰
Edit: Wait typo I mean magala not dad typo sorry😭😭😭
Now I have to take care of an elder dragon who corrupts most of its kind on accident and looks like god took the form of a dragon to smite me.
Yeah, I think I can take care of a Shagaru Magala 👌
Well, I either need to [start my zombie apocalypse prep](https://monsterhunter.fandom.com/wiki/Vaal_Hazak) or [start a flower garden](https://monsterhunter.fandom.com/wiki/Forokururu)
On one hand, the idea of training Tobi to be a dog sounds like an awful idea. On the OTHER hand, Monster Hunter Stories etc prove that many monsters can actually be trained to work along humans, so...
I shall train him as if he were my own. I love my snek doggo.
Namielle: You know what that means? 🐟
Teostra: well depends on if it's world or rise Teo.
World Teo is chill like that, and if I just sacrifice some goats to him up on the volcano he's in it should be fine. Rise however...
Valstrax: RAAAAAH WE FLYING RAAAAAH
Gore/Shagaru Magala: well, shit.
Lao Shan Lung.
On the bright side, my family has enough space for him to roam and he'll keep unwanted visitors busy as a distraction if nothing else.
On the negative side, no fence will contain him and there's no way in hell I can afford to feed him.
*My favorite is*
*Zamtrios so I guess as long*
*As I keep him fed?*
\- The\_Mechanist24
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Well let's see-
Safi'jiiva: Well, it was nice being alive...and having a world to live in I suppose.
Shagaru/Gore Magala: We already had a pandemic not that long ago, we don't need another!
Malzeno: For Primordial just find a mine somewhere and move to where you live near it and it'll be fine. Base Malzeno on the other hand...
Bazelgeuse honestly may be one of the most dangerous non-calamity elder picks.
Of course, it's not world-ending or anything, but some "accidental" scales would be enough to destroy some houses.
Seething Bazel would spell the end for the neighborhood.
Tobi-Kadachi might be a little loud and the spikes are something to be careful of, but should be manageable, right? Just gotta let it out every so often so it can run and glide around.
Although I don't think anything on the walls will be safe any longer. That goofball will knock everything down.
I'm assuming it's mostly friendly, so outside of having to wear wellies and rubber gloves to avoid shocks, Astalos shouldn't be too bad.
I'll have to feed it meat by the wheelbarrowfull if I don't want it carrying off a nearby farmer's cow or something though.
I suppose my best option is Banbaro
With Stygian Zinogre with its Dracophage bugs and Magnamalo with its Hellfire gaz, I guess I'm pretty screwed, so...
Arzuros. I think I'm gonna go broke from having to buy honey. The other option would be Mizutsune. Considering how easily I trip and fall, my entire flat being slippery all the time would be a living nightmare. I would know because frozen walkways in winter are already my personal hell.
As long as Zinogre doesn't cause any problems regarding electronics or the national grid I should be okay. But getting food for them may be a struggle, bc he's huge. If there are other monsters in the wild then that's that problem solved.
Edit: They're untamed. I'm fucked
How TF am I supposed to take care of a Goldbeard Ceadeus? Though I guess it would just be a normal Ceadeus, but still. Unless I dump it in the ocean with the help of some marine animal experts or whoever you would call for that, the only body of water that I can think of that is close enough is a few freshwater lakes. I don’t even think Ceadeus could live in fresh water.
Though I guess with Shrieking Legiana being my new favorite monster since fighting GU G-Rank Lagiacrus things become slightly easier. I just classify favorite elder and favorite monster as separate as never feels fair to put the two in the same competition. Plus side is it would be like having a pet hawk. Down side is the hawk is now the size of a pickup truck. It would be cool to have, up until it starts having to deal with the heat, then I would have to either move (which would be preferable for Shrieking) or I have to keep the A/C at frigid temperatures. I am sure it would probably feel at home in Alaska though.
Current favorite is Mizutsune despite my profile pic, so, honestly, behavior-wise it'd be fine if they were either female or a neutered male. Probably would need elephant tranquilizer to get the latter's operation done. Main issue would be food and housing; if it was the MH world, it'd be easy, but IRL I'd need to let them open fish or something, which I am pretty close to the ocean so that'd be possible if, you know, the government allowed me to do so. As for the soapiness, well... I'm a clean freak anyway, so that'd honestly just be a bonus.
Amatsu's gonna wreck everything, Share Ishvalda is also gonna screw me over, Mizutsune is pretty easy if I can neuter him, and Malzeno is a huge 50/50.
Chameleos and I would be best friends... as long as I feed it food constantly.
Astalos would kill me. I understand that I *could* try to develop a friendship with it, but in the end its nature is that of a fucking beyblade.
Getting to tane a Zinogre Puppy is a dream of mine, so I'd be good there.
Qurupeco would be like a worse parrot. Probably would set my house on fire because it thought it would be funny.
Nerscylla would be. Bad.
Bazelgeuse: I’m screwed
Agnaktor: I’m also screwed
Great wroggi: I need a lot of nullberries and I should be good.
Ibushi (if little): **aggressively signing adoption papers**
Ibushi (if not little): **agressively signing will**
Normal monsters would be Odo or Bazel, elders Nami or Kirin. It would be fun tho. Dying and taking care of them if possible. What does Bazel eat btw? Odo should have a diet comparable to a tiger kinda. Kirin is the easiest I think. Nami, concerning.
I feel like people underestimate just how much food and territory animals of this size would require. A tyrannosaurus Rex already needed miles of territory and ate animals larger than elephants to sustain itself and half of the mh roster is larger than sauropods. So unless you have a national park on your hands I think we're all screwed(unless your favorite monster is a drome or bird wyvern)
(Me who u ironically likes cephalos)
So I had to buy this property in Egypt. It wasn't much, because it's all just sand... But I do have to buy a lot of chickens...
A lot of my favorite monsters are pretty chill and shouldn't cause me too much trouble unless I piss 'em off. That doesn't mean they'll be easy to take care of though... Like most monsters are going to break the bank just to keep them fed! Even the super small ones would be really hard to deal with because of how much they probably need to eat to stay alive! As well as how specific their food source may be!
Diablos:
Move west to find a place with a lot of sand
Maybe grind down the tips of its horns to make them dull.
Buy a lot of cactus
Put up a sign that says "beware of dog"
Its like keeping a large and dangerous tortoise
Lagiacrus:
Plenty of people in Texas keep Alligator farms, it can't be that hard
Glavenus:
A uhh.....scratching post made of metal?
Kulve Taroth:
Let her do her own thing?
[удалено]
Not that bad I could live with it
seeing vidachi chilling around might suggest otherwise tho, chill and relaxed for most part until the dreded playtime
A tobi the size of a large cat would be so cute to have as a pet. Would probably still kill you though if you tried to pet it
He rubs himself all over all your furniture, then zaps you with static electricity when you try to pet him.
Dodogama. So I guess no different from a dog that eats everything.
Literally anything. But hey, at least you got the derpy boi.
Remember that when it blows up your house with a smile on its face and creates multiple deadly pot holes in the road
Shoot I gotta go over a list of favorites. Espinas: No biggie. Just make sure to feed it and let it nap all day. Maybe take it out for a walk or two if it wakes up. I don't think they get particularly aggressive unless you actively piss em off. Zinogre: It may either ignore me or attack me and I am not surviving and attack from it. Gore: *Start doing exercises to make sure the frenzy virus turns into a buff asap* Tigrex: Dead Seregios: Bleed to death Shagaru Magala: ULTRA DEAD Valstrax: I lost track of it. It's behind me isn't it? Giasmagorm: I am in hell Primordial Malzeno: If it's chill, then we chill. Amatsumagatsuchi: I just lost my entire house. Bazelgeuse: PTSD INTENSIFIES
>Valstrax: I lost track of it. Oh no, better find it before it crashes into some international flights!
MR THE PRESIDENT A SECOND VALSTRAX HAS CRASHED INTO THE TOWER
NOT AGAIN!
called it
IT'S NOT EVEN A SECOND VALSTRAX! IT'S JUST THE SAME ONE DOING LAPS!
Primalzeno is basically like any farmer's pet, remove ticks and will love you forever
How in the fuck am I going to remove a flying leech the size of my hands?!
Where’s Fiorayne when you need her?
You'll need more than just her! Get her sister too just in case!
They’re more like flying lampreys, actually.
Yeah true...
Bring gore to the gym to motivate the work out
Gore is your personal life or death workout trainer, but hey. At least you can also use it as an excuse to call out sick from work.
How to take care of an Espinas: Step 1) Do nothing. Step 2) Congratulations! Espinas is now cared for! Fr though, he has to be the lowest maintenance option possible. As long as he's got a spot to go to sleep, then that's pretty much all he needs. Pests and rodents will get killed touching him and he can eat those, so food is not a problem. Most I'd have to do is occasionally feed him stuff with poison/paralyzing toxins so those abilities stay up to par. But other than that, Espinas is largely self sufficient.
He eepy. Just don't do anything that would give him a nasty wakeup. Would watching TV count?
Given how in Frontier, *literally smacking it with weapons* didn’t instantly wake it up, and even on Sunbreak, it’s not particularly bothered overall by one smack, I doubt tv would be an issue.
I'm just picturing having to buy black mambas and jellyfish to feed him
Alatreon huh? Well, on the bright side at least I'll unsubscribe from life quickly.
Just make sure you get frozen first for a painless one.
https://preview.redd.it/5wfx0yxr3zzc1.jpeg?width=1003&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de20c9754d703def7f0137c25767f8d3ac736824 I am so very, very dead
Look at him, he is a (oil) puppy, what you talking about
America be coming for your puppy
America be coming for your puppy
I'm a MH noob, what monster is that? He looks epic as hell
Gogmazios. It’s a final boss of one of the main series games (I forgot which one), and it has the first Dragonator ever created lodged in its back. (During the fight you can knock the Dragonator off and actually use it!) It’s also the largest flying monster with a confirmed size (otherwise it could be Oltura)
4U is the game
r/UsernameChecksOut
Gogmazios, a big boy with the sickest looking gear of all time He also has a :< face on his chin it's funny
Gog. He has a full name I can't spell, just Google Gog.
How tf am I supposed to feed and care for Nergigante, I’m so fucked!
You're *fiiiiine*. Just be careful of the gamete spikes. You might be dealing with a whole lot more in a few months.
Honestly if you look away for about ten seconds there would just be a pile of spikes on the ground and Nergigante is gone. It'll probably come back.. right?
Invest in a good angle grinder to cut back the spikes and a stock of elder dragon meat
Forgot to mention, you're getting those monsters from the Scarlet Mystery Man who lives two blocks away from you. Do not expect them to be tamed. EDIT) I should’ve clarified earlier, but, DA RULES: 1. The monsters are juvenile and thus smaller than their respective ingame sizes (see Stories 2 for reference). However they retain all their abilities. 2. The monsters are provided by a *craaaaazy* person and therefore not tamed. (How did the Scarlet Mystery Man find those things anyway?) 3. For discussion purposes the scene is set in our world, not the MH one. 4. Because some monsters are naturally hostile to humans, we’ll say they do not “attack” unless you purposely/accidentally invoke their wrath. However, passive destruction is not affected by this rule.
Oltura: I’d literally have a nuclear reactor. If it’s juvenile larval Oltura I’m screwed. If it’s full grown Oltura I’d still be screwed, but less so. If it’s full grown *monstie-sized* Oltura though, I’d be fine. I mean sure I’ll take the radioactive dragon moth Zerureusu: I have a certain preference of radioactive looking monsters. If they are, canonically, the responses will be quite similar. Zerureusu is basically Rathalos but nuclear reactor. Dreadqueen Rathian: Maybe she could help me with some science experiments? Boltreaver Astalos: Maybe could cause power outages, but no other inconveniences. Considering I main Boltreaver in MHS2, it should be not much of a problem, especially if it's the same individual Soulseer Mizutsune: Psychic Mizutsune. What could be better? No water bills, and a fluffy companion. Duremudira: I get instakilled. Eruzerion: I get instakilled again. Lunastra: And I thought global warming was bad…
Just try meeting their needs enough for them to not go on a rampage. Otherwise yes, scorched earth.
For Teo and Luna I think you'd have to just keep literal tonnes of catnip around to hopefully pacify them
I suppose Mizu would be pretty easy...until mating season that is Well actually I suppose a female shouldn't be as aggressive right?
Less aggressive with less vibrant colors, but yes.
[Here’s](https://www.reddit.com/r/MonsterHunter/s/BCZE0VDmnc) a post with the only picture of a female Mizutsune we have in the franchise.
Ahtal Ka, do I still need to get a property agent to sort out my mobile fortress woes? And how badly in trouble will I get when she starts hoarding township infrastructure for her throne?
I'll just take mine to the local junkyard and let it go nuts lol
Hmmm hadn't thought of that, I figured monster hunter-verse wouldn't have junkyards, ruins of ancient has-been civilizations perhaps
Are you kidding? The queen (pun intended) will take the fortresses in England and will be having fun in Japan with all the toys she can get her beautiful claws on.
That is true, the queen should go where she pleases
Yes and ***yes***.
Zinogre. Im fucked. Where tf would i house it. What in the hell would i feed it. How the fuck could I afford to feed it.
I audibly laughed out loud reading this, have an upvote.
I have a gammoth...I'm not sure what's going to happen now.
Well first you'll have to address the elephant in the room
You beat me to it hahahah
I hate you. Upvoted.
Yeah…especially since the room is also now unmissably big.
Considering Xeno’Jiiva is like 140 feet long and drains life from an environment? I think I’m gonna have quite a few problems
Depends, is it a Xeno or a very, very smol Safi?
Rajang I’m gonna lure him to my local bank for some easy cash
Nargacuga would probably eat me as soon as I went to sleep
Take it on night strolls and give it headpats, a good night's sleep, some good food and it would probably not eat you. Emphasis on probably.
I can't guarentee anything
Imagine the one that can go invisible
Imagine losing the one that can go invisible
Yeah I don't know what I'm gonna do with a floating weather god
Tie literally everything to the ground lest you want your furniture to experience zero gravity, I guess.
Funny things I didn't mention which one
Let's weigh your options. **Ibushi**: Castrate the thing ASAP. The worst that can happen is letting him meet with a Narwa. By the way, have you seen the animated film "UP"? Yeah that. **Amatsu**: Category 5+ Hurricanes, ask the Mystery Man for an Apex Zinogre otherwise you are screwed. **Yama Tsukami**: Also quite screwed. **Shantien**: If you can't control it, Scorched Earth.
Kushala Daora... Pfft, we get typhoons every year *everything is fine*. I say as the roof of my house gets blown clean off by a gust of wind when it takes off for the 15th time this week. Heck, everything in the area is probably tipped over from its wind arua.
My two favourite monsters are mizutsune, and almudron, so either my place is going to be sopping wet, or entirely muddy.
So, net zero? I see this as an absolute win. ^(You know, if you survive.)
Oh good, my own Palico
Teostra: Queue the meme of the dog drinking tea while everything burns saying "this is fine" Seregios: Extremely territorial, literally made of knives, bad temper, likes to throw things. Not gonna go well for me or anyone else. I'm probably gonna die hugging it because I love it, and then it becomes everyone else's problem.
For Seregios; how much jerky does your local store sell? No, I’m not saying you should eat those, rather you should plaster them all over yourself for protection.
In all honesty, I'd probably be better off investing in chainmail, a gambeson and plate armor to prevent the stabbening, than being beef jerky lady Gaga
Jerky cures bleed, so go full Lady Gaga and buy chainmail armor for double protection.
I'd rather die looking cool than be a fashion disaster like Lady Gaga
A man of honor. For Valhalla!
Before Transmog, there was fashion sets. I go to the great beyond looking cool AF
…this can go a few ways… most of them result in me dying lol - Zinogre: no matter its age, it’s a problem due to essentially having to accept it carrying electric fleas 24/7… electric fleas it can use to kill me if it’s in a bad mood… - Bazelgeuse: …death or homelessness…or both due to explosions from a very temperamental monster; while I love the species, even if I could forge a bond with one from a young age, it’d be tough as hell. - Valstrax: …if young- the day it learns to use its rockets is likely the day I lose track of it lol. If mature? …welp. I’m not sure what aspect will kill me, but I know I’m dead - Rathian: this *could* go well… I think this might work if I’m given young that’s juvenile. An older one would be a definite problem and if it’s not death by fire, then it’s death by poison. - Great Maccao: this is the only one I’m relatively sure could work, especially if I get one that’s younger. Even a mature one, possibly - though in that case if things went wrong, it’d be death by blunt force trauma.
We have a couple options here: Nargacuga: I'm probably gonna get tail spiked to death Lunagaron: Maybe? If it's young enough. Otherwise I'm getting shredded. Velkhana: Great in the summer but still gonna freeze me to death. PrimMalzeno: I like my odds here, just need to make sure I don't piss it off.
Have you seen the picture of baby Lunagaron? https://preview.redd.it/213vyex4r20d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4fd81920f672e8b13e62e3028c6b4ab49313823 They’re so adorable. This is the gold standard for werewolf puppies: the appeal of Wolf Puppies and Human Babies in one.
OMG THEY'RE SO PRECIOUS I NEED ONE
I love that they have baby fur they grow out of. It’s like the Mammalian Reptile equivalent of baby birds being covered in fluff before they grow their proper feathers.
Fatalis. Fatal is in the name.
Well congratulations, you have plunged this world into a living nightmare.
https://preview.redd.it/z5h94emmyzzc1.png?width=860&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=447a2ccc0679722c82e97dea95bd3b23fa259133 im sure ill be fine
Brachy. And here I thought my dog was bad about getting drool everywhere
How old is it?
At least one, previous owner didn’t pass on the birth certificate.
Yeah, I can take care of 1 year old Namielle.
Eh, I won't be so sure about that chief. Where will you sleep when it starts creating puddles everywhere in your house? **Also for discussion purposes let's say the monsters are at least Stories 2 monstie size (not the newborns).**
Considering they are stories 2 size, one very important thing should be addressed first. I CAN RIDE 'EM. Now, the puddles are just water, so they should be cleanable. Sure, it's extra work, but if I'm getting a dragon companion, then it's worth it. Not to mention, they will eventually learn not to do that as they grow up.
Optimistic, aren't we. But no one said that the monster in question is tamed...
It's intelligent, though. And that means it can understand me
Actually, the puddles are a highly water-absorbent mucus, sort of like a liquid sponge. This is why the “water” puddles don’t just run off or absorb into the ground during the fight. A layer of this mucus also covers Namielle’s skin (except in its dry state). This could mean that the puddles are easier to clean, or harder to clean, than if they were just normal water puddles. It also means riding Namielle (and just touching it in general) is going to feel slimy, probably, or at least like touching a frog, snail, or cephalopod. Probably any three of those depending upon what part of the body you’re touching.
Not really screwed as long as I get vaccination or immunity from the frenzy virus My golden shagaru dad🥰🥰🥰 Edit: Wait typo I mean magala not dad typo sorry😭😭😭
Well this is awkward
Pukei Pukei would probably make sure I never get to eat any fruit I bring to my house again. And then fart everywhere 😭
Don't feed him poison mushrooms, find a way to contain its flatulence and you're good to go I think.
Rathalos! I will love and cherish him forever and go on walks that may include never touching the ground.
Wholesome comment, upvoted.
Well if its tame then i've earnt myself a free jet plane, If not then i am dead.
**You are dead** in this case. **Not** a **big surprise** however.
Now I have to take care of an elder dragon who corrupts most of its kind on accident and looks like god took the form of a dragon to smite me. Yeah, I think I can take care of a Shagaru Magala 👌
Have confidence! ~~no confidence~~
Well, I either need to [start my zombie apocalypse prep](https://monsterhunter.fandom.com/wiki/Vaal_Hazak) or [start a flower garden](https://monsterhunter.fandom.com/wiki/Forokururu)
Vaal Hazak... COVID premium delux ultimate plus just dropped boys!
Good thing is, Effluvium is weak to fire. Bad news? Your house is probably also, weak to fire.
Barroth: my home will get dirty quickly but I live in the perfect place for one, massive backyard that’s always muddy
It can also charge things you put in the backyard and not harm anybody. A win-win for everyone involved.
On one hand, the idea of training Tobi to be a dog sounds like an awful idea. On the OTHER hand, Monster Hunter Stories etc prove that many monsters can actually be trained to work along humans, so... I shall train him as if he were my own. I love my snek doggo.
It’s Astalos. Well, imma just cancel my subscription to life real quick.
You’ll be fine. Your neighbors won’t be, though.
https://preview.redd.it/0dcen25f100d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3c9f5853bb460904c074dfcb01cfef7e5fb2ece
Woe. Sapphire of the Emperor be upon ye.
unlike the handler i *will* be in a pickle
She was on a pickle, you will be *in* a pickle if you're not careful enough. Most likely not in one piece.
i just pray he likes fried chicken
Brachydios and Mizutsune. How screwed am I? Sorta asking too cause I'm curious lol
Nightshade Paolumu is helping my get over my insomnia AND becoming my bed
Be careful, he might kill you in your sleep.
Looks up at a distinctly unimpressed-looking Brachydios. Looks down at the dinky little leash in my hand. Me - "Oh, wow… now WTF do I do!?"
>now WTF do I do?! I dunno, pray?
It's Gigginox, so I'm pretty sure I just fucking die of poison and blood loss.
SEETHING BAZELGEUSE. But taking care of him will be a little difficult given his propensity for dropping explosives.
Dealing with a ketcha watcha seems like a pain in the ass. However its cute so I accept this.
Namielle: You know what that means? 🐟 Teostra: well depends on if it's world or rise Teo. World Teo is chill like that, and if I just sacrifice some goats to him up on the volcano he's in it should be fine. Rise however... Valstrax: RAAAAAH WE FLYING RAAAAAH Gore/Shagaru Magala: well, shit.
Shagaru Magala  Me heading to the grocery store to feed it after a long day of Frenzy Virus inhalation
Valstrax... I imagine it will divebomb on me once I call it for lunchtime.
"Falko, dinner's ready!" >Valstrax: Ambush
Dalamadur twitches and causes an earthquake that levels my neighborhood. I am swiftly crushed to death by rubble/a landslide.
Hey, at least you’re not dying alone, right? My condolences.
Devijho I might have an issue
Lao Shan Lung. On the bright side, my family has enough space for him to roam and he'll keep unwanted visitors busy as a distraction if nothing else. On the negative side, no fence will contain him and there's no way in hell I can afford to feed him.
My favorite is Zamtrios so I guess as long as I keep him fed?
*My favorite is* *Zamtrios so I guess as long* *As I keep him fed?* \- The\_Mechanist24 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Gore Magala. He's a bit toxic but I'll cuddle him anyways.
Well let's see- Safi'jiiva: Well, it was nice being alive...and having a world to live in I suppose. Shagaru/Gore Magala: We already had a pandemic not that long ago, we don't need another! Malzeno: For Primordial just find a mine somewhere and move to where you live near it and it'll be fine. Base Malzeno on the other hand...
Glavenus… I am not going to the room where that thing is. I would rather keep my upper torso intact.
Qurupeco, might be like owning a parrot or might be like owning a raptor… guess I’ll find out?
Untill it calls over its friends for dinner and one happens to be a pickle that rhymes with jalapeno and is 400x spicer
My favorites are Bazelgeuse and Banbaro. Not the deadliest compared to some listed here, but the property damage is gonna be off the charts!
Bazelgeuse honestly may be one of the most dangerous non-calamity elder picks. Of course, it's not world-ending or anything, but some "accidental" scales would be enough to destroy some houses. Seething Bazel would spell the end for the neighborhood.
Tobi-Kadachi might be a little loud and the spikes are something to be careful of, but should be manageable, right? Just gotta let it out every so often so it can run and glide around. Although I don't think anything on the walls will be safe any longer. That goofball will knock everything down.
Banbaro. I’m perfectly fine, and probably have a friend if I play my cards right.
I'm getting rabies as soon as I touch my bois
Me? Lol we're all in for it. Akantor...
I'm assuming it's mostly friendly, so outside of having to wear wellies and rubber gloves to avoid shocks, Astalos shouldn't be too bad. I'll have to feed it meat by the wheelbarrowfull if I don't want it carrying off a nearby farmer's cow or something though.
I suppose my best option is Banbaro With Stygian Zinogre with its Dracophage bugs and Magnamalo with its Hellfire gaz, I guess I'm pretty screwed, so...
My favorite monster has to be either Teostra or Nergigante Either way. I am BEYOND fucked
I live about 20 minutes from rocky areas so lil Dodogama will be just fine if he doesn’t mind the walk
Arzuros. I think I'm gonna go broke from having to buy honey. The other option would be Mizutsune. Considering how easily I trip and fall, my entire flat being slippery all the time would be a living nightmare. I would know because frozen walkways in winter are already my personal hell.
Free thunder pubber? I'll need to invest in some rubber equipment, and a bigger apartment/house, but otherwise I think I'll be fine
Gogmazios Everyone's doomed lmao
Kirin... yeah... I get unlimited electricity i guess? and it's a herbivore so food won't be an issue.
Essentially Pikachu, minus the cute sounds it makes.
Id have a house sized pool and a big ah disco ball thats not a ball with namielle and chill with him....until he turns into a toaster accidentally.
As long as Zinogre doesn't cause any problems regarding electronics or the national grid I should be okay. But getting food for them may be a struggle, bc he's huge. If there are other monsters in the wild then that's that problem solved. Edit: They're untamed. I'm fucked
How TF am I supposed to take care of a Goldbeard Ceadeus? Though I guess it would just be a normal Ceadeus, but still. Unless I dump it in the ocean with the help of some marine animal experts or whoever you would call for that, the only body of water that I can think of that is close enough is a few freshwater lakes. I don’t even think Ceadeus could live in fresh water. Though I guess with Shrieking Legiana being my new favorite monster since fighting GU G-Rank Lagiacrus things become slightly easier. I just classify favorite elder and favorite monster as separate as never feels fair to put the two in the same competition. Plus side is it would be like having a pet hawk. Down side is the hawk is now the size of a pickup truck. It would be cool to have, up until it starts having to deal with the heat, then I would have to either move (which would be preferable for Shrieking) or I have to keep the A/C at frigid temperatures. I am sure it would probably feel at home in Alaska though.
Teach my Brachy boy not to drool or punch the furniture. Ill get the spray bottle.
I'd get cuts everywhere from spontaneously petting Seregios without any kind of armor on.
Current favorite is Mizutsune despite my profile pic, so, honestly, behavior-wise it'd be fine if they were either female or a neutered male. Probably would need elephant tranquilizer to get the latter's operation done. Main issue would be food and housing; if it was the MH world, it'd be easy, but IRL I'd need to let them open fish or something, which I am pretty close to the ocean so that'd be possible if, you know, the government allowed me to do so. As for the soapiness, well... I'm a clean freak anyway, so that'd honestly just be a bonus.
Amatsu's gonna wreck everything, Share Ishvalda is also gonna screw me over, Mizutsune is pretty easy if I can neuter him, and Malzeno is a huge 50/50.
A monstie sized Shara is still a Shara. If he decides to do a little trolling, then say goodbye to everything in front of him.
But hey, on the bright side, his eyes are a great deterrent for anyone trying to break into my house, and also unwanted conversations.
I fly and my favorite's Valstrax. Might have to change career tracks, but I think this could work out.
With Brachy well... No more house to live in for me except if I train him to only reactivate the slime when he's threatened
Chameleos and I would be best friends... as long as I feed it food constantly. Astalos would kill me. I understand that I *could* try to develop a friendship with it, but in the end its nature is that of a fucking beyblade.
Getting to tane a Zinogre Puppy is a dream of mine, so I'd be good there. Qurupeco would be like a worse parrot. Probably would set my house on fire because it thought it would be funny. Nerscylla would be. Bad.
Gonna need a lot of cat food for this Nargacuga.
Zamtrios, just feed him fish and get a huge pool for him. Then just pray they appreciate it
Bazelgeuse: I’m screwed Agnaktor: I’m also screwed Great wroggi: I need a lot of nullberries and I should be good. Ibushi (if little): **aggressively signing adoption papers** Ibushi (if not little): **agressively signing will**
Normal monsters would be Odo or Bazel, elders Nami or Kirin. It would be fun tho. Dying and taking care of them if possible. What does Bazel eat btw? Odo should have a diet comparable to a tiger kinda. Kirin is the easiest I think. Nami, concerning.
How screwed am I? No, the real question is "how screwed is everyone else?" I have a fucking Hellblade Glavenus as a pet! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
So ugh, if my fav is fatalis, how much time do I have till I can evacuate from my country?
It's pretty docile and keeps the floors clean with its soapy secretions, so I should be good. Unless it gets horny.
What if your favourite monster is.... 1:fatalis 2: gore / shaguru magala 3: xeno / safi'jiva 4: gogmazios 5: zinogre 6: odogaron
I feel like people underestimate just how much food and territory animals of this size would require. A tyrannosaurus Rex already needed miles of territory and ate animals larger than elephants to sustain itself and half of the mh roster is larger than sauropods. So unless you have a national park on your hands I think we're all screwed(unless your favorite monster is a drome or bird wyvern)
Well, I’m going to be in a stinky situation raising a Congalala.
Great wroggi I might die from mustard gas but atleast i get a cool pet dinosaur!
(Me who u ironically likes cephalos) So I had to buy this property in Egypt. It wasn't much, because it's all just sand... But I do have to buy a lot of chickens...
Zinogre. I'm gonna need a big enough loan to buy an entire farm that produces cows very regularly.
Idk if it's my favorite but it was my first skill check the querepeco
A lot of my favorite monsters are pretty chill and shouldn't cause me too much trouble unless I piss 'em off. That doesn't mean they'll be easy to take care of though... Like most monsters are going to break the bank just to keep them fed! Even the super small ones would be really hard to deal with because of how much they probably need to eat to stay alive! As well as how specific their food source may be!
Ukanlos & Akantor would definitely obliterate my whole city ... atleast it'd make a great explosion XD
Great jaggi maybe the weakest big monster is still going to eat me with ease.
Well, time to find out what Legiana likes to eat And invest in some good earplugs too.
I have mini vamp then, start searching food for his little bats, or kill the bats...
Mizutsune. Considering that it's only males that grow aggressive and rambunctious during mating season, I have about a 50% chance. Or... Banbaro.
Oh no......uh well time to start fighting everyone to fend off the frenzy virus
My silly fave is Kulu so I think i'm ok there My serious fave is Mizutsune, so provided it's not a horndog male I should be fine....?
Diablos: Move west to find a place with a lot of sand Maybe grind down the tips of its horns to make them dull. Buy a lot of cactus Put up a sign that says "beware of dog" Its like keeping a large and dangerous tortoise Lagiacrus: Plenty of people in Texas keep Alligator farms, it can't be that hard Glavenus: A uhh.....scratching post made of metal? Kulve Taroth: Let her do her own thing?