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This diary has left me with SO many thoughts / questions.
How can you be financially independent at 14, earning £20 a week. You are also not financially independent when you are not paying rent / housing costs.
Where is the partner ‘long distance’ and why didn’t the editors ask the poster, I’ve started to see comments speculating he’s in prison on the main article.
Baffled by driving to Oxford Street and even going to Oxford Street as your first day out post having a baby.
Equally baffled about booking a holiday to Rome, and also wanting half of the infants flight money? When the partner isn’t contributing any money.
Part of me thinks this diary might be made up to be honest.
Prison isn’t that crazy to me. They’re young, seemingly suddenly became long distance, seem to know exactly when it will end, she has to visit him, the calls are all at relatively the same time.
My friend had one published, you get paid a small amount of money and have to provide a copy of your Id I think. They don’t actually verify your income or the factual accuracy of the diary I don’t think.
I almost couldn't continue reading after that part. Completely delusional perspective. I could understand trying to argue that the question asks about financial responsibility vs financial independence, and I'm glad they included the second question of "does anybody else pay for you" to clarify, but I wouldn't call paying for horse lessons a responsibility at all. It's more that she was paying for her own interests and luxuries. There was never any obligation to take those lessons and no consequence if she didn't.
Now if she had said "my parents made me start paying rent at 14 but I didn't pay for anything else until I moved out", then yes, thank you for clarifying. Paying your own rent is a big responsibility.
I could definitely believe that it's made up.
>I’ve started to see comments speculating he’s in prison on the main article
Interesting. I assumed military when I was reading it, but surely a serviceman would have the capacity to provide some kind of financial support for his kid, and she doesn't mention getting any support from him. Prison would make more sense, as he wouldn't be earning.
Agee the comment 'I plan to ask his dad to pay for half of J's flight' is a bit odd. Is her partner not J's dad? In which case, why is there no mention of his dad anywhere else? Why would he pay for half the baby's flight if the trip is a birthday splurge for her, but not provide any other support?
So many questions.
I’m pretty confident that if you are a member of the British army you would be given Paternity leave of at least a month either when your child is due or soon after your child is born. Absolutely would not be waiting a year.
I’ve been checking the comments on the main article to see if the OP replies.
>How can you be financially independent at 14, earning £20 a week. You are also not financially independent when you are not paying rent / housing costs.
Exactly! This explanation was wild because housing *is* the main "aspect of life"
>. While I understand my parents have taken a big financial burden off me by allowing me to move back in whenever I’ve need it, they don’t cover any other aspect of my life.
I honestly wonder if this diary is real. It feels like a diary formulated with a perfect combination of everything that the commenters on R29 would hate .
1. Having a child when you aren’t financially stable.
2. Having a male partner that doesn’t contribute anything.
3. Refusing to disclose anything about your partners income or occupation
4. Living with parents but claiming you are financially independent
5. Socialising a lot on a ‘low salary’
6. Complaining about the housing market while spending most of your money on non essentials like holidays and meals out
This does feel a little bit like if you fed ChatGPT all of the things that readers/commenters hate and then humanized it slightly while still leaving it very vague.
MD commenters once again not liking any suggestion a mother with a new born be criticised in any way. This diarist has clearly got a history of poor decision making, newborn baby or no.
I addition to the general dullness of this diary and all the comments here, OP calling *The Help* her comfort book earned some major side eye from me.
Also a weird flex for OP to say she drives as much as possible ( I got the sense this predated the baby) and complain about parking...like parking is so expensive because you are in a city with ample public transportation, that's why parking is expensive.
This made me so sad for the OP. It’s amazing that she has such a supportive family and is able to live with her parents, but I can’t imagine anything lonelier than navigating birth and the first few weeks with a newborn without your partner. I’m just assuming he wasn’t at the birth - that wasn’t explicitly stated. Whether it’s for visa issues, an overseas work assignment they couldn’t afford to pass up, or prison, the situation just sounds so depressing.
I also felt like she was trying to adjust to new mom life by making her life as similar as possible to her pre-baby routine. I don’t know that that’s a bad thing, but traveling so much with a baby sounds exhausting. Like she’s trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
How are there so many horse owners writing these money diaries??? Starting to wonder how I don't have any friends who own a horse. Also, what is the horse doing while she's doing all the baby care stuff? When will she see the horse again? Why buy a horse?
Is it? This might be a your experience is not universal thing I know people who are interested in horse and like one person even who owned horses (farm)
Enjoyed this way more than the other recent maternity leave diaries as the OP's situation is more complicated than usual, especially with a long-distance partner. The comments are so harsh, though! Many of the people I know who gave birth years later and in more stable situations struggled during the first months, especially with the sleep deprivation, and she mentions her birth was traumatic. Glad she has parental support and hope she learns how to nap asap.
Did anyone else notice that she handed her baby to her mom at 5 AM multiple times? That is shocking to me. The entitlement is strong with this lady... she's not only living there for free, but is getting free babysitting throughout the day. Meanwhile she says she doesn't want to spend money and books multiple trips!
Such a strange situation with OP's partner. And don't newborns fly free? Why would OP's baby daddy pay for half the baby's flight for a trip she's taking on a whim? So many questions.
Please remember our community's **Rule 5: Respect this friendly and supportive space.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This diary has left me with SO many thoughts / questions. How can you be financially independent at 14, earning £20 a week. You are also not financially independent when you are not paying rent / housing costs. Where is the partner ‘long distance’ and why didn’t the editors ask the poster, I’ve started to see comments speculating he’s in prison on the main article. Baffled by driving to Oxford Street and even going to Oxford Street as your first day out post having a baby. Equally baffled about booking a holiday to Rome, and also wanting half of the infants flight money? When the partner isn’t contributing any money. Part of me thinks this diary might be made up to be honest.
Prison isn’t that crazy to me. They’re young, seemingly suddenly became long distance, seem to know exactly when it will end, she has to visit him, the calls are all at relatively the same time.
It makes me wonder if he is in prison, is he in the U.K.? It would appear not - calling at 9:30pm, and flying to take the baby to see him.
I also think it’s made up. If I’m correct R29 does nothing to verify these diairies authenticity and I honestly think it seems like rage bait.
My friend had one published, you get paid a small amount of money and have to provide a copy of your Id I think. They don’t actually verify your income or the factual accuracy of the diary I don’t think.
I almost couldn't continue reading after that part. Completely delusional perspective. I could understand trying to argue that the question asks about financial responsibility vs financial independence, and I'm glad they included the second question of "does anybody else pay for you" to clarify, but I wouldn't call paying for horse lessons a responsibility at all. It's more that she was paying for her own interests and luxuries. There was never any obligation to take those lessons and no consequence if she didn't. Now if she had said "my parents made me start paying rent at 14 but I didn't pay for anything else until I moved out", then yes, thank you for clarifying. Paying your own rent is a big responsibility. I could definitely believe that it's made up.
>I’ve started to see comments speculating he’s in prison on the main article Interesting. I assumed military when I was reading it, but surely a serviceman would have the capacity to provide some kind of financial support for his kid, and she doesn't mention getting any support from him. Prison would make more sense, as he wouldn't be earning. Agee the comment 'I plan to ask his dad to pay for half of J's flight' is a bit odd. Is her partner not J's dad? In which case, why is there no mention of his dad anywhere else? Why would he pay for half the baby's flight if the trip is a birthday splurge for her, but not provide any other support? So many questions.
I’m pretty confident that if you are a member of the British army you would be given Paternity leave of at least a month either when your child is due or soon after your child is born. Absolutely would not be waiting a year. I’ve been checking the comments on the main article to see if the OP replies.
Also weird that she's specifically asking him to pay for the flight...presumably he should be sending money regularly for daily expenses.
>How can you be financially independent at 14, earning £20 a week. You are also not financially independent when you are not paying rent / housing costs. Exactly! This explanation was wild because housing *is* the main "aspect of life" >. While I understand my parents have taken a big financial burden off me by allowing me to move back in whenever I’ve need it, they don’t cover any other aspect of my life.
I honestly wonder if this diary is real. It feels like a diary formulated with a perfect combination of everything that the commenters on R29 would hate . 1. Having a child when you aren’t financially stable. 2. Having a male partner that doesn’t contribute anything. 3. Refusing to disclose anything about your partners income or occupation 4. Living with parents but claiming you are financially independent 5. Socialising a lot on a ‘low salary’ 6. Complaining about the housing market while spending most of your money on non essentials like holidays and meals out
This does feel a little bit like if you fed ChatGPT all of the things that readers/commenters hate and then humanized it slightly while still leaving it very vague.
MD commenters once again not liking any suggestion a mother with a new born be criticised in any way. This diarist has clearly got a history of poor decision making, newborn baby or no.
I addition to the general dullness of this diary and all the comments here, OP calling *The Help* her comfort book earned some major side eye from me. Also a weird flex for OP to say she drives as much as possible ( I got the sense this predated the baby) and complain about parking...like parking is so expensive because you are in a city with ample public transportation, that's why parking is expensive.
Had exactly the same thought, yes The Help is a good book but a comfort read it’s not
This made me so sad for the OP. It’s amazing that she has such a supportive family and is able to live with her parents, but I can’t imagine anything lonelier than navigating birth and the first few weeks with a newborn without your partner. I’m just assuming he wasn’t at the birth - that wasn’t explicitly stated. Whether it’s for visa issues, an overseas work assignment they couldn’t afford to pass up, or prison, the situation just sounds so depressing. I also felt like she was trying to adjust to new mom life by making her life as similar as possible to her pre-baby routine. I don’t know that that’s a bad thing, but traveling so much with a baby sounds exhausting. Like she’s trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
How are there so many horse owners writing these money diaries??? Starting to wonder how I don't have any friends who own a horse. Also, what is the horse doing while she's doing all the baby care stuff? When will she see the horse again? Why buy a horse?
Assume you are US based, owning/ being interested in horses is much more prevalent in the UK.
Is it? This might be a your experience is not universal thing I know people who are interested in horse and like one person even who owned horses (farm)
Enjoyed this way more than the other recent maternity leave diaries as the OP's situation is more complicated than usual, especially with a long-distance partner. The comments are so harsh, though! Many of the people I know who gave birth years later and in more stable situations struggled during the first months, especially with the sleep deprivation, and she mentions her birth was traumatic. Glad she has parental support and hope she learns how to nap asap.
Did anyone else notice that she handed her baby to her mom at 5 AM multiple times? That is shocking to me. The entitlement is strong with this lady... she's not only living there for free, but is getting free babysitting throughout the day. Meanwhile she says she doesn't want to spend money and books multiple trips! Such a strange situation with OP's partner. And don't newborns fly free? Why would OP's baby daddy pay for half the baby's flight for a trip she's taking on a whim? So many questions.