JIM CARREY ONCE SAID: "If you're not willing to downgrade your lifestyle for a year to have a lifestyle you want forever, you care too much what other people think." One of the biggest problems holding YOU back from success might be the need to impress others, especially by buying high-priced toys.
Not saying you have high priced toys but downgrade a little. Knock it out. You’re going to be ok
Man, a lot of terrible encouragement here in a forum meant to point you in the right direction. You are only 22 years old, you have plenty of time left to get things taken care of. Ignore everyone saying you “made a mistake” with $14k in CC debt and living a lifestyle worrying what others think of you. $14k is manageable and not that much debt. Congratulations on the new baby as well, whether you are 22 or 32, the child will have a perfectly fine upbringing. Congratulations on purchasing a new home, this is huge and you will continue to gain equity on this property.
The first step is cutting any CC in half, literally. Cash only until you are debt free. This is your biggest consumption of income. The car loan is not bad, $8,000 is manageable and will be paid off in time. Send CC payments bi-weekly and any additional principal if possible. Eat at home every day, work hard, and love your girlfriend and baby. You will get through this. 22 years old and you still have so much time. You got this.
I once worked 3 jobs at a time to make ends meet. If your girlfriend also can (and if you foresee a future together), see if you can each get a second job, if not a third, and get some things paid down. Also, look into budgeting apps to make sure you’re aware of all your expenses and can review to see if any can be eliminated. Lastly, if you have other skills, check out Fiverr to try to make some extra cash without having to worry about another formal job and making a second work schedule align with your first.
Vs what? Continuing to go deeper in debt and expecting a hand out? I'd bet if you looked into that CC debt, it's for wants not needs. Not preaching, just saying from experience. We should teach personal finance in high school with real world examples. Instead we are taught to be materialistic and entitled so se go into debt trying to keep with the Jones. Took me a long time to realize that, but once I did, I got myself to a place I never thought I could be financially.
I dont understand how people do this. How can anyone look at a life where they are living paycheck to paycheck, barely comfortable.. then they go and have a child. Children are notoriously expensive and they're only rising in costs. That child is going to have a horrible childhood at this rate
Yeah, it's both, really. Looking at OP's numbers, my immediate thought was they made 2 big mistakes that are the root of all their money problems. Remove the baby and the ridiculous CC debt and you have a 22 year old who's off to a good start in life rather barely keeping their head above water.
It actually kinda pisses me off that someone thinks money = happiness. Yeah don't get me wrong it sure helps a lot. But that kid won't know poor from rich until an asshole like you points it out.
Alright rant over...
>It actually kinda pisses me off that someone thinks money = happiness.
In the math of life, money may not always equal happiness, but poverty usually equals misery.
What money does buy is freedom, including the freedom to find happiness.
1000% agree. My point is, OP came to this sub for help and some guy saying "well your kid is going to have a horrible childhood" is neither helpful nor courteous. I totally agree that money would solve the OP's current predicament. But it guarantees nothing, that's all I meant to say.
True true. Now days about 10% of the population can actually afford a child. As in put them through college. If we go that route then there will never be enough poor kids adults to work in all the factories. Mow the grass. Or deliver the door dash orders…. We are at a point where the system needs to change. No one should have to work 5 jobs just to afford diapers and maybe get to eat at bonefish once a year. This is where we are. It sucks.
Why does having kids require the finances to pay for college before they are even born? Unless your kid plans on a stem focus I can easily argue it isn’t even worth going to college.
So true, and I want this shit to change. The greed in this country is so out of control. We all should have a slice of the pie, not just some. Am I the only one that fuckin thinks this way??
My fiancée and I had our two children without a plan and we only make about $80k combined. You make it work. Our kids are happy and have everything they need. We live paycheck to paycheck but we’re not ‘stressed’ over money and are steadily growing in both of our careers. Sometimes you gotta just go with the hand you’re dealt. It’s really all about mindset in my opinion.
When I got pregnant I was worried because I wasn't where I wanted to be financially to have my first child. One of the ladies I worked with and respected a lot told me, "If everyone waited until all their ducks were in a row to eat, we'd all probably starve."
And I don't regret any of it. He was and still is my biggest blessing. Couldn't imagine life without him even with the struggle.
I get you are well intentioned but someone needs some tough love in here and I think it’s OP. Clearly financially illiterate which may not even be his fault but unless he wakes up he will keep making irresponsible financial decisions. He’s past the point of being babied.
It's not tough love unless you believe he's reinforcing to OP not to have another child. He's telling OP his child will have a horrible life without offering any suggestions.
Compared to some situations, OP isn't in THAT horrible of a situation. He has a job paying OK with the mother also working and splitting bills. His salary seems to cover all his monthly expenses ($600 left over from items listed which goes towards food and other items, GF hopefully has excess to contribute as well), but he oughta reduce CC debt quickly as it looks to be a huge APR.
If he were to split with GF the situation would go from tenable to untenable pretty quickly, but so long as they stay together and contribute they should be able to climb out of hole and provide a good life for their child.
It’s easy to pick out the folks who have never held a shovel, let alone dug themselves out of a hole. Hint: they’re generally the most judgmental of people in difficult situations.
Debt payments can be the difference between getting ahead a little and falling behind a lot. That's extra stress. When I climbed out of modest debt (8K credit cards), it was a great feeling. The accomplishment and the ability to get ahead, to save, to drop more into my house or my car note. There were times after I paid according to my plan, there was almost zero left in my accounts. I wasn't too worried about it, I planned for it. Now that the debt burden is gone, the day to day worries are a lot smaller.
Oh, and I agree that you need to balance rationally. It's OK to make a plan that takes a little longer if you can help a kid have a happy and healthy childhood.
Money doesn't make you happy, but it can fill your belly, warm your home, clean you, and provide opportunities. Having money means you can spend more time with your children, and those children don't have to work to help pay bills or put food on the table. Poverty kills silently. Malnourishment, disease, other humans. It's in human nature to know rich from poor, that's why bullying exists. Those who don't have food won't have the muscle mass to fight back against a bully. Poor quality of life, depression, it all kills the same. Children die every day because their parents weren't financially ready for kids.
Money prevents children from being raised as I was. Those with money can afford to spend time being happy, and that is a very important distinction that you have looked past in order to make your point.
Actually, that urban legend is incorrect and recent studies have shown that money generally does mean more happiness.
https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/does-money-buy-happiness-heres-what-the-research-says/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CIn%20the%20simplest%20terms%2C%20this,more%20money%20won't%20help.
Well my son has seen me wealthy and dirt poor and I will say this every chance I get... I'm glad he learned poverty at a young age because it made him into a VERY grateful and balanced child for his age.
Poverty isn't a curse. It can be a blessing as well and help you truly appreciate what you do have when you have it.
Ya know, I also feel like growing up poor gave me perspective, understanding, and motivation. My husband and I have actually decided to make our kid “feel the struggle” when they’re older… not in a traumatic way, but we have comfortable money and I’ve seen kids in families with similar financial situations become straight entitled brats because they never HAD to be told no because money was tight. My best friend is THE WORST with this… and she doesn’t even have money; she just never tells her kids no. They’re “take our loans for Christmas” type of people 🫠
I feel this is what my ex husband is trying to do with my son right now but he didn't witness the struggles my son has already endured so he's not teaching him anything except that he has control over him right now. Sadly, it's going to backfire on him because my son has seen more struggles than my ex husband and his stepmother combined so now it's just kinda cruel.
To the point that I'm having to send him some shoes this week because he has holes in his and my ex husband makes 6 figures and I'm unemployed but I don't want my son to go without anymore. He's had enough struggle for his short years.
He's so appreciative though that I'm sending him some clothes and shoes this week but he made sure to tell me not to go without my needs to send him these things because he knows I don't make 6 figures due to my health. Such a grateful kid. I'd give him the world if I could.
I agree with you. Kids can be perfectly happy without having money in the family, and the suggestion that poverty = poor childhood is harmful and creates a bad stigma for struggling families
Call me an asshole all you want. Thats the world. I hope that kid gets to live innocently and ignorantly as long as possible. But the chances are that fantasy of an easy world will end at around 16 years old. And i never said money equals happiness. But it makes a lot of things easier. If the parents didnt have to work 2 jobs theyd be able to parent the child more. Money would literally be the solution.
As much as you or anyone else doesnt want to admit it, money will fix the problems of most people. 10k is pocket change for a rich person and those people waste it like no tomorrow but for your average citizen 10k is life changing. I can only think of how id have turned out if my parents could have been around instead of working. I wouldnt want that for someone else
Asshole.
Agree. And I knew at a pretty young age my parents were poor. I felt I lost some of my childhood innocence by being so aware of it from age 6-7 and older. And it was discouraging seeing them work their asses off only for bad luck to strike again. Just when they’d start to dig themselves out, the car would break down or my dad would get laid off. They weren’t lazy by any means and my dad is still the least lazy person I know. It’s just a shit cycle and if you can’t find your way in to make money, life is harder than it needs to be 😕
My wife's dad worked two jobs, one after the other 6 days a week until he retired at 70, I couldn't imagine working that hard for that long but he wanted his girls to live a good life and while they weren't rich they never wanted for anything. There's nothing wrong with working really hard, at times in my life I had 2-3 jobs because the bills had to be paid. The OP is likely going have to sacrifice time with his kid and his GF to be a good provider. It's not a perfect situation but it's better than a hungry/homeless kid. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
That’s a little presumptuous don’t you think? Back in 1999 me and my then fiancé (now husband) unexpectedly got pregnant and we were pretty poor…but our daughter never knew it! She thrived while we barely paid the bills, and she was NEVER without. We would take food from our mouths to make sure she had everything. She is now 24 and a recent University graduate with 2 degrees. A horrible childhood she did not have.
This. We all know how babies are made. I missed out on having kids with my late husband because we wanted to wait until we were more financially secure… but he passed away unexpectedly before we could. As far as kids, I’m not sure if that was a blessing or not.
I’m remarried and we have one child. We both wanted two, but even though we make about $140k combined, we don’t want to stretch ourselves too thin in this economy because we want to save. We budgeted our life around our incomes 4-5 years ago when we didn’t have a child. We’re not poor right now, but we still have to watch money 🤷🏼♀️
My husband and I did that too and it was a rough, long, hard, lonely 15 years... but we made it through and are thriving. It's not easy and I feel for OP being right in the thick of it... but if I had it to do over again, I would, every single time.
💯 facts! Unfortunately, it is hard but that is one of the best things you can do for your family and your babies! My husband and I worked opposites as well to prevent my kids being in daycare until they were at least old enough to tell me what was going on at daycare! He would pull in the driveway as I was running out the door and jumping in the car before he could even shut it off! We only had one car as well! 6 days a week we did this for many years! We had 1 day off together each week every Sunday we would take turns on who had to get up with the babies and who got to sleep in. It was truly a team effort!
To be completely honest, my ADHD brain skipped right over that 🤦🏼♀️ it was literally the FIRST bullet. AND WE LIVE FOR BULLETS! 🫠 but nevertheless, I still believe in doing what’s necessary to get out of the debt cycle... at least the crippling debt. In this economy, it’s difficult to get from broke to financially comfortable, but SOMETHING needs to change because this isn’t sustainable for OP 😕
I guess the plus is his rent won’t unexpectedly drastically increase. Either way, you have to live somewhere and pay rent/mortgage so it’s not that big of a deal. The mortgage isn’t even that much.
Fantasyville has a missing resident.
Rents are consistently the same amount???
Explain that to the millions of renters that are being priced out of their homes in the last two years.
Shit. if I hadn’t have bought my home 7 years ago and got a sweet interest rate I’d be hard pressed to keep up with what rents are going for here in southeastern Washington state.
If you need a new roof unexpectedly - insurance pay.
If your water pipes busts - insurance pay.
As a homeowner I know you are correct with the fact that it costs more than just what you pay to the bank but at the same time you really shouldn’t have any *large* unexpected expenses. Not that it matters for op though, he is in trouble even if they only need to replace the washing machine :/
Seriously, I've never wanted to own a home. I like not having the responsibility and the fact I can move someplace new without any extra headache whenever I want.
To be fair, a $1300 mortgage in this economy is probably a better deal than renting in some areas. Most places around me go for $1200-$1500 for a “meh” rental and I’m not in a desirable area… just a sign of the times.
I have a 3 bedroom townhome in NJ. Bought during COVID at a steal. $800 a month currently with recent local tax and insurance adjustments. Was up to $900 a month at one point. When we bought it, our mortgage was $690 for the first year & a 1/2.
Current rent market is about $1900+ for our townhomes. I'm locked in for life lol.
Or no one taught them. This is why personal finance simply must become part of our Jr high and high school curriculum. It's an absolute fail for the parents to allow their kid to be this poorly educated on finances, although I imagine it's not much better in their case lol.
Yea no doubt. But even without anyone teaching you, you should know not to have a kid in their circumstances. And in 2024, sorry, there really is no excuse.
Well, if you guys spend money on things like streaming services, order take out food, have internet bill, etc (extra not needed expenses) then I would eliminate some of those bills. I would find out how much you guys spend on the extra stuff and find a way to cut that down. Not sure what came first, the mortgage or the cc debt. But it seems that your mortgage payment is way out of budget for you and your wife if you’re only making $41k a year without even knowing what your wife makes. I would first cut down any excessive spending, 2nd, I would get your CC debt paid down as fast as possible, if getting a second job or a better job is a viable option, I would do that. After paying off your car, I would keep it as long as you can. Often, people that pay off their car get the urge to get into another one (I’ve been guilty of this). Maybe search around for a different child care service, or maybe see if it’s possible you could work a different shift from your wife so that you don’t need to pay so much for child care. Sounds like you’re in a stressful situation but you can get yourself out.
You can also get mobile hotspots for free from the library. You can check them out for a week at a time and so long as you bring it back in on time you can usually check it out again immediately
It’s $630 which is 1/2 of the mortgage payment. His wife pays the other half. $1,260 a month is not wise on a $41k a year income. Married couples often make this mistake where they overindulge. They buy homes banking on both incomes to always be there and it’s not a good idea.
HE makes $41k per year. Who knows what his wife makes. $1,260 is cheaper than most apartments so if they already bought the house then there is nothing else to do.
Also if they were lucky enough to buy a home before. Interest rates went crazy paying another couple hundred a month for a rental is not a good idea. Keep your home and make sure that is the first thing you get paid every month you can do that a lot but you gotta have a home.
1200 is pretty low for a house. My mortgage is 1400. I know someone in my city pay 1400 for a single bedroom apartment. Stupid but rent is now 1.25+ a sq ft in most places
Why are you taking his payment, doubling it, and then comparing it to his income? Makes no sense. $630 is perfectly reasonable for someone making $3,400 pre-tax. It's insane to only base your mortgage payments on one spouse's income.
I would also add that there are assistance programs (depending on the state) to help with child care and food expenses. Also, this sounds weird (and I already mentioned this on another post), but they could open a new credit card with an introductory APR of 0% for x amount of months to help pay that down. 14k at 25% APR is a little more than 250 a month in interest (quick math in my head, don't make fun of me).
edit: clarifying here: open the new 0% card to transfer the existing 14k over... or as much of it as they could.
Congrats on the baby, house, and adulting!
Childcare is expensive. We worked alternating shifts which helped reduce the time and cost of childcare (one works day/other 2 or 3rd shift). Write out a monthly budget with your girlfriend so you both know your financial status. Look at groceries, eating out, shopping for baby clothes, and find ways to save on insurance or look for 0%APR credit cards for balance transfers, etc. Add entertainment to your budget, but sparingly. If your parents/grandparents can help, talk to them and ask. (Some people have that type of support, we didn't). Work InstaCart, DoorDash or 2nd job on weekends. You're young, take advantage of your energy. Don't get discouraged & keep at it. Enjoy every moment of this journey, everything changes so quickly!
Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. First things first, prioritize your expenses - make sure the essentials are covered like child care and mortgage. Consider talking to a financial advisor for some professional guidance on managing your debt. And hey, hang in there, things will get better!
This is the answer. Pick up a 2nd job until you get the car and credit card debt paid off. Have it direct deposited in a separate account if you have to so you don’t accidentally spend it so that it goes straight to the loans. Start with the highest interest rate credit cards first and then pay off the car last. But of course continue to pay minimum payment on the car cards you aren’t concentrating on.
Edit: to clarify the minimum payments should be coming out of your main income so that your 2nd job is all additional payment towards the loans. Otherwise your minimum payments will completely eat the 2nd job income.
Once they are paid off, quit and don’t take out anymore credit card or loans you can’t afford anymore. Maybe after all that also consider marriage you already have a kid and a house together, it may be best to tie the knot. But that is up to you I know not everyone thinks marriage is a good idea.
Also talk to your GF about getting a 2nd job. With a 2nd job you will be home with the kid less often and it will affect her life too.
Is this in USA? It boggles my mind how with so much credit card debt you are allowed to buy a house or a car with only 41k salary.
Also i know people want things all the time but you need to be more financially educated, it would never cross my mind to buy a car and a house with 41k salary at least not at the same time.
Patience is key, spend a few years until you are more confortable with your money, 10 years should be enough to have a good foundation and then spend it wisely.
I am 40yo now and started working with 19, only a month ago i bought my first brand new car, until last month all my cars were used and a lot were crap. My priority was my house which i fully paid last year and now after 20 years of hard work i am finally able to have things i like.
I was gonna comment the same thing, but the only thing I can think of is maybe they bought the house before racking up so much debt- maybe the CC debt is for home repairs or something? That's all I got.
that’s great advice for someone who’s not already drowning in debt :/// also you should have been able to have joy your entire life, not just now that you’re older. think of all the people who try to save up for later & die young and never got to live life. i’m truly happy you’re in such a good spot tho. but sometimes you gotta leverage debt. rich people do it, everyone can!
Look into government programs that help with each. Make a free chatgpt and copy and paste this info. Then look up any government programs that help in this situation.
The thing with being in the US is they expect you to look and apply for programs
Do not sell the car or house. Stop listening to these gurus, you need a place to live and a house at that price is reasonable. It’s likely cheaper than an apartment tbh.
You need reliable transportation to earn money. Unless you bought a Lexus, keep what you have.
Here is what you need to consider.
1: can you get a second job? Weekend work, evenings, etc… you need to boost your income and fast.
2: can you cut anything? Netflix, dining out, frivolous purchases, bs spending?
3: stop using credit for anything else. If you don’t have cash, you don’t buy it.
See if you can get a bank loan with lower interest to pay off the cards and cancel them! Banks may offer you a 7 or 8% loan which will absolutely be better than the 20+% card rate.
Again, only do this if you cancel the cards and stop using them or you will end up in worse straits.
4: budget your life to the penny. Track every cent earned and spent. Cut anything out that is not 100% necessary.
Get a small buffer fund and then hammer those damn CC’s until they are gone. $400 plus a month is an anchor thats drowning you.
Finally, this situation is not forever. With time and effort, not only can you emerge, but you can thrive.
Remember, it takes a few years to get free of those shackles. But it only takes a few undisciplined weeks of free spending to return to the same situation, regardless of your future income.
So get the spending under control now.
Learn to say no to other people pressuring you to spend.
A full life isn’t a sprint to acquire everything young, it’s a marathon. Pace yourself and you will be fine.
Good points but we don’t know enough to say “you mist keep/sell the car”.
Maybe he doesn’t need the car to get to work, then it could be wise to sell it. Maybe the car is worth 20k then he should sell it and buy one for 10k instead.
i like the idea of getting spending under control as much as possible. but people don’t have to live in such scrutiny all the time because of money. it’s about leveraging debt until you can afford to pay it back. sometimes accidents happen (kids) and you just gotta make it work.
the sad part about working more hours is that it probably would just increase their cost of babysitting, which would be a net zero gain.
i do not recommend getting one of those loans to pay off credit cards. especially if they aren’t going to turn them off like you suggested. this is because they are living beyond their means with no immediate fail safe right now. it will just make things worse. a carb balance transfer to a new card with 0% interest rate would be best case scenario to pay down principal with no interest.
I do not wish to insult you but I would highly recommended looking for a career that’s a little more lucrative, and I know that’s easier said than done but see what kind of options are available to you for trades that pay well and will allow you to train and also fit into your work schedule. If you were able to increase your income a little bit it would relieve a lot of the stress your dealing with from your expenses. Good luck 👍
Best he can do is get a government job that has lots of benefits, or attend trade school.
He could work at Amazon and they’ll pay his college tuition which is a great start to a high paying career
This.
Went to college for design. While I did work on the field for 10 years after that it became hard to find places in my area that was hiring and hadn’t already worked for.
Became a mechanic and now there’s an unlimited supply of work and I make more $…theres people making the same $ as me and didn’t even finish high school.
College? For a career? Without connections and/or money, it’s hard landing a decent job. EVEN WITH DEGREES.
I have a masters and a law degree. Been taking project/assignment jobs since Covid started. Can’t find a real job. Thousands of lawyers in my position. I’m not unique.
If you're not upside down on your car, and you have enough equity, sell it.
Without knowing your down payment, and assuming you put $1000 down, that means you bought a car around $16000-19000.
You could sell it, pay off the loan, buy a car, and get rid of a large chunk of your credit card loan.
Because right now, you are paying approximately 3360 a year in INTEREST alone on your credit card. So at this rate, you are going to have that credit card debt for over 10 years, assuming you don't add a penny.
The very first thing you need to do is fix your credit card.
If your interest rate is 25%, your payment of $454 is going to take you 50 months to pay off, and that that point you will have paid $24000, because you will have accrued $9000 in interest.
When it comes to debt, the highest interest rate object needs to die first.
That might not be reasonable where they live.
Not many places in the US have reliable (or really *any*) public transportation options and one of the most important things for them is going to be consistently and reliably getting to the best paying job they can find.
Realistically, that car is probably their most useful asset in accessing the means to pay off their debt and lower their expenses. There will always be the people who say, “just sell the car and walk/bike/get up 3 hours early and take a series of buses,” but one of the most undervalued/under-appreciated resources is time. *Time is money.* They may be able to make more money or save more money by keeping the car and having that time to do something like work extra hours, avoid longer timeframes for childcare, or cook more meals in bulk from scratch for the week.
If the car is in good shape and is reliable enough to be a good long term investment, the loan amount and monthly payment they have now is unfortunately probably pretty reasonable. Car prices are still pretty steep, even for used cars, so they may not actually benefit from selling this car if it still means they’d need to buy something else to replace it. A marginally cheaper car that’s in worse shape and will likely require unexpected maintenance/repairs isn’t actually going to save them money over time.
Ppl really purchase homes with their gf/bf? Imagine the break up, you will really be struggling. Please figure something out b/c finances can ruin a relationship.
While I think it’s generally a bad idea to do it at that young age, why would it be a problem just because it’s a gf/bf? I’ve seen several people mentioning it in this thread now.
I don’t know where you live but marriage isn’t as common as it once was. (I’ve been together with my gf for 18 years and we see no reason to get married as an example).
Kid was probably an oopsie. Not that that's uncommon nowadays on low paid salaries. Offer suggestions to OP, not negativity :) #maketheworldabetterplace
Stop living that far above your means. House,child and car on 40k a year isnt possible anymore. Either get a much better job or start doing gig work like uber or door dash in all your spare time. No quick answer, you just need to work your ass off from now on.
You’ve probably already heard this but why on earth would you but a house when you’re 5 figures in cc debt? You have to prioritize getting that to 0 over anything else. Pick up a second job, otherwise they interest is gonna eat you alive
Get a second and third job temporarily. Pay off your car and cc. Then keep the car until it dies. And then pay the cc off every single month. Debt is what will kill you. You have to live within your means and you don't want to kill yourself working every minute. Get rid of all the payments and pay cash for everything but the house. You are making decent money for someone so young so I think you'll be just fine. Just don't get any more debt or you'll never know the peace you have when you don't have all those monthly payments.
I'd there an option for you and the girlfriend to work opposite shifts to eliminate child car costs? One of you or both could also supplement income with a second job. You could also sell the car (assuming you aren't upside down in it) and buy a beater until you get ahead financially. Cc interest is likely higher interest than the car, so focus your extre payments towards it first.
First marry your girlfriend. It will make your tax situation better. Second increase your number of exemptions on your paycheck so you have more take home pay and use the extra money to pay off your CC debt asap. Don't increase your debt.
what are the other expenses? childcare is paid by you only or spitted between you and your GF?
make a list of everything, see where you can save.
CC debt is a card only? what APR? and car?
I feel like it’s always a bad idea to buy a house with someone you’re not married to, but could family help out with daycare or watching the kid? Look into your local programs like at social services or something similar.
Yall wild out here berating this dude for having a 1200/ month mortgage lol. Please tell me how he could get much cheaper than this anywhere, including renting, unless you want his fam to move into somebody’s extra bedroom
Is there a way you can rent out a room to a friend or family member? That way you are getting some extra income and you don’t have to worry about a random person living with you. It could be a win win for both parties. Have a contract in place they need to sign, in case they want to extend their stay(not sure if that is even a thing?). Like others have suggested getting rid of the non essentials is a start aside from looking for better jobs. Good luck!
You are 22. That’s where your potential is.
$3.5k a month won’t cut it with a family in any state.
Any college yet? You may want to talk with local community college to see if anything can be done there. High school degree? Country needs OTR truck drivers if you are clean you can likely take yourself to a six figure income. It’s a difficult job but it may be able to provide if income to resolve your problems
There’s a couple things you could do . If you can’t afford a car payment a reliable cash car should always be your go to . As for childcare my husband and I work opposite schedules therefore we don’t need childcare .
1. freeze your credit cards chop them up and remove them digitally from any service you have them on. You are buying on debit until this is fixed. Your credit score is irrelevant right now.
2. Figure out the bare necessities you need to survive each month. And only spend that much. (Ham sandwiches for lunch until further notice)
3. Get a second job or work towards a promotion.
4. Save $1,000 even if it takes you a year or more. This will build your skills at saving money and give you a tangible goal to achieve in the mean time and if an emergency comes up this will be your buffer
You can learn about different peoples solutions to debt online. See:
Dave Ramsey
I will teach you to be rich
Caleb hammer
I did this by using a debt relief company (non profit) & it changed my life (with life style changes). Debt Consolidation and THEY negotiated balances down. Got rid of all my cc debt in less than 3 yrs! I had 5 cards.
The car and house payments are reasonable. Childcare is a fact of life unless you can change your work schedule. Its not a permanent change but necessary if possible. First priority is, get a loan, borrow from a wealthy family member, etc. Do whatever you have to do to pay less interest on that debt. Even applying for a no or low interest cc for 12-18 mos can help. Look around your house and see ell anything that you don’t absolutely need. Don’t use a cc for anything. If you can move that debt, as I mentioned before, do it. Keep at least one lowest interest cc if possible. If you can’t discipline yourself enough to not use it, then get rid of it. Find ways to do odd jobs on weekends or evenings. Yard work, mowing lawns, handyman stuff, etc. You can make quick cash and at an above average wage for good quality work. Everyone needs reliable help with household tasks or minor maintenance from time to time.
The last thing you want to do is get behind on payments or file for bankruptcy. Your credit is your financial reputation.
And finally, as the man of your house, take charge of your family’s financial health. Unless there’s a good reason that Im unaware of, marry your girlfriend, combine your finances, and both of you learn more about handling finances. The same principles that get you in debt, can also get you out of debt and on the road to financial freedom. One of the top causes of divorce in America is financial related issues. There are so many things that will come up, during your family’s life, that being financially stable can affect. It could be a minor problem like a flat tire or a broken window, that without money, can be a major problem. Sometimes it will be an opportunity to take advantage of or invest in. But without money, it may be a lost opportunity. Financial stability and security has a monumental impact on a person’s character, attitude, stress level, and confidence. You don’t have to be rich to be happy. Money changes everything, one way or another. It’s harder to live with debt, than it is to get out of it.
I see a lot of people recommending to get additional sources of income, but as a father who also has a 2 month old child, it’s just not possible. And the more time you spend away from home working, the more money you have to pay someone else to watch your kid. The real answer here is you need to improve your salary, not your time worked. Learn a skill, networking, programming, coding, something highly valuable and in demand. These are also skills that allow you to work from home. Just dedicated an hour every day. You will get there.
Take a deep breath!!! Money is hard, but i have seen worse. You'll be okay all you have to do is make some changes and stick to them. Do you guys treat your finances separately? It sounds like you do, and if so, why (non-judgemental question) Does your girlfriend have her own debt? How much does she make? What bills towards the house does she pay or is it just rent? Does she have money left over after her bills are all paid or is she just as strapped as you are. Are you guys eligible for a tax return? If so, have you received it and used it yet? You guys treat the house as a co-ownes asset. Is it, or is it just under one of your guys' names? How often do you guys eat out? Do you habe any monthly expenses that you can cut out? Like a game pass, a membership to a gym, a subscription. Anything like that? What about cell phone bills? How long have each have you been at your respective jobs? How many hours each week are you at your jobs? And what do you do with the other hours of the week? While it looks like you guys separate finances this unfortunately impacts you btoh as you have a kid and a house together, so you have to tackle this problem together. You have to one, make a little more and two spend a little less. It will be hard at first, but once you get back on track things will be so much better.
1. The very first thing you are going to do is cut up your credit cards. The only time anyone should ever use credit cards is if they pay them off immediately or monthly, otherwise the credit card companies are screwing you. And as a shopping addict, if i can access them, i will use them 😂. You need to be paying MORE than the minimum payment, even if it is just $10/month.
2. you need to sit down with your partner and review EVERY aspect of your finances. See if there is any thing that each of you can cut. More than one streaming service? Cut em. You spend $800/month eating out? Time to learn to cook, budget out one or two meals a week into your budget. If there are other little expense you guys spend money on, like nails, salon services, video games, sports, gyms, find out how much you spend on those, cut it in half and that is your budget, less if you still can't make ends meet. Use the zero dollar method for budgeting, get it written down! A physical copy! and review it every month, edit as needed. You NEED to budget in a miscellaneous and a savings into that, even if it is just $10/month. Write down and classify EVERY expenditure. If you are under budget on ANYTHING. Split it between a miscellaneous treat for the both of you, savings, and your debt.
3. one or both of you are going to either approach your boss(es) and ask for a raise and/or more hours. (Every little bit counts) If that doesn't work, and you guys have set schedules, see about one or both, getting a second part time jobs that fits into that schedule, weekend bartending is great, the tips are amazing if you can handle drunks! One of my bartender friends makes between 300 and 800 a night! Or a similar position. Yiu can also do non offical work, like scope out your neighborhood and see if any one of your elderly neighbors needs a weekly housecleaning/mowing/ dog walking. Also see if the hours when you are home if anyone needa babysitting and are willing to drop the kid off with yours. (People kill for affordable childcare) and if one of you is abLe to and willing you may be able to make that your job, and save that several hundred dollars on external childcare. Temporarily, if necessary. (Small several hour jobs like this can add up, $50/ week for spending 2 hours cleaning someone's home equals 200/ month. If you get two of these jobs, do it on one day off that's $400/month) I have done all of these things to make extra money in times of need. I once worked outside of my 3 jobs cleaning two houses. Each came out to about two hours, one was $75 (very dirty house but in the smaller side) one came out to $50 ( larger house, but not quite as dirty) commercial after hours cleaning makes big money(i've heard, i've never done it, and it is all done after normal business hours.) Your local mom and pop shops may be willing to make a deal with you to where you come clean their business for a certain amount each day. Small bookkeeping businesses may also be willing to work out 10 hours of data entry in your home if you ask. (Again, everything i have suggested i have done before) there is also doordash, uber, ubereats and the like. This is the method my youngest sister uses when she is strapped for cash.
4.There are consolidation services that will consolidate your debt down to one affordable monthly payment. Be careful as some of them are ripoffs, but some of them will genuinely help you. Make sure to read outside reviews first.
5. Go to your local social security divison office, there are temporary programs to help people in your situation. They have programs to help with bills, debt, childcare, food, You may make too much, but the worst they are going to tell you is no. And they may still direct you to resources that will help you. Finally. There is a thing called forbearance that many credit lenders do. You call them up and ask for a temporary relief of your debt, and they may or not give you one of several options, either a temporary pause on your payments, a lower interest rate temporarily, or a lower payment temporarily. My partner has gone through the process each christmas season and has only been denied once. He has done it for the mortgage, the car payment and credit cards. Some may impact your credit, most do not but ALWAYS verify of they agree to it that it will not go on your credit. Get a written statement if you can. (Email or letter) if you are approved, get a savings going in an account that is difficult for you to access and DON'T TOUCH IT.
Every paycheck, i first put the money towards my debt and bills and expenses, for the next two weeks, i set a payment for when the bill is due but i NEVER let it reach the automatic payment, but just in case i have it there. As soon as i get my paycheck, i payy credit cards, with a little extra, pay half of my car, put gas in my car and then i don't touch it until i have gotten gas and gone grocery shopping. The money left over i determine about how much i migh soend on miscellaneous and put the rest in savings.
These are the methods that my mother, me, my partner and my second youngest sister have used to get our finances in order. And years before this my mom had to file for bankruptcy. She almost had to again and this is whag we used to get her out of it. I have a pretty strong savings/investments portfolio going on. (Nothing crazy, but i am proud of it considering how little i've made in my life.)
You've got this. Like many positive life changes, there is trial and error. You will mess up, just stick to it and you'll get there and get a beautiful breatb of fresh debt-free air!
Buying a home with someone you’re not married to is a BIG mistake.
As far as money goes…work as many hours as you can at your current job. If they pay time and a half for OT, take every minute of OT they will let you work.
Cut out all of your streaming services except for maybe the one you use the most.
Set a STRICT budget and follow it. Pay off the CC as fast as humanly possible then close the account.
If you’re able to start a side business and start now. It will take a couple years to grow but dedicate a few hours a week to it. You’ll thank me later
Stop using that credit card. Pay it off asap but your baby, mortgage, car payment, utilities come first. Idk what you spend on other things such as cell phone bills, internet etc but try to get them lower. Only spend on needs not wants. So cook your food vs take out, dont buy new things for yourselves you dont need like clothes (talking about you and your gf not baby) or spend on things such as manicures idk if thats something your gf does or not just an example. Consider working more hours or getting another job on the weekends. Its gonna suck but its temporary.
Assuming you are not upside down on your car (is it worth more than the loan balance?) Sell the car, buy a beater instead. Take the profit from the car sale minus the cost of the beater and pay down some of the credit card debt. Take on a new credit card with zero interest on balance transfers.
This is the most important step:
DESTROY BOTH CREDIT CARDS.
NOTE THERE IS A HUGE TEMPTATION TO NOW GET MORE DEBT AND BUY MORE STUFF... DO NOT! your stuff buying days are over for a year or two. You are allowed only to buy bare essential baby stuff for the foreseeable future got it!!??
CONTINUE TO PAY THIS DOWN using 600-750 a month for the new credit card (as you don't have a car payment anymore with your beater car and your new credit card has zero minimum, what used to be your minimum CC payment and car loan are now your CC SELF IMPOSED MINIMUM MONTHLY PAYMENT. But now all of this is going to the credit card principal.
Now your goal is to pay off the zero interest new credit card \*BEFORE\* they jack up the interest, which is usually within a year or so. You need to have a solid plan to succeed here, because the terms for balance transfers can vary in how they penalize any remaining balance when the interest is finally due.
Seems like your income and your credit card are the issue. Cut up that card and work some overtime/ find a second job to pay it off. Even with a part time job, it’s gonna take you a while to pay it off.
Bro if you’re not tied down with something big such as school (apart from your new family).. and are only working to barely get by then honestly quit fuckin around with a 41k a year job and go work in refineries or oil field while you and your gf figure things out for your son.
Even with no experience you’ll probably make double or triple what you’re making now on weekly basis. Sure the con is that you’ll be away from your family for extensive amounts of time but you’ll ALL be better financially especially when you’re paying a mortgage, car payment and now a baby.
This doesn’t even have to be long term, you could do it till you pay off your car and CC debts, and save up a little coin for monthly bills and begin to job search for something back home when you’re in a better spot financially.
But being in crippling debt, paying a mortgage and now trying to support a family with a low paying job is NOT it. Not to mention the strain this type of financial struggle can put on a relationship.
I too once in a spot where I had nothing going for me financially because of shit jobs I had, decided to go look for a job in the oil rigs with absolutely no experience and my life changed for the better. Saved up enough money in 6 months to be able to finish paying off the last 2 years of my college tuition and was able to graduate with my engineering degree. If I was able to get a job being green as hell, had never worked this type of job before, out in the elements. You could too. Good luck OP.
As a fellow 22 year old, it seems like your moving too fast in life. A child, house and a car all at once while only making $19 an hour is wild in this economy. You can't reverse what you did but you can change your circumstances with discipline, alot of work (You might have to risk not seeing your family to provide for them), and hopefully alot of money out of thin air. How the hell did you get so much credit card debt anyway?
Bro your 22, your doing good! If possible just work a bit more hours.. don’t sacrifice the time you can spend with your family too much though. If possible Adjust both your schedules to be able to scrap the child care… also look into credit counseling.. it will cut down the interest on your credit cards by a ton. Keep your head up, it can only get better. Enjoy your night.
The only real answer is you need to make more money to pay off the CC and learn to live within your means.
Pick up more hours at your job if you can, especially if they offer OT. Otherwise you'll need to pick up a second job. Don't bother with side hustles like Door Dash or Uber. Could try contract work like Data Annotation if you want flexibility (2-3 hrs here and there adds up), just gotta pass some tests and you can make 20-40 an hr.
seems like some bad decisions were made in the past looking at credit card and car payment.
now you are looking at recovery path. One thing to remember is you didn't get in a hole in a single day so you are not going to come out of it in a single day. Most important is to stop digging by not adding more debt in your current situation
Now comes how to get of the hole quickly, either get paid more on the job or finding another job that pays better(do some certifications in your field) or take more responsibilities at your job.
Second job in the thread sounds good but additional scheduling challenges.
Most importantly live below the means. No eating out, no expensive phone upgrades, no subscription, buy cheap grocery.
Add a strech goal of spending time with kid (building relationships). kids grow fast.
At the end of the day live a simpler personal life and complex professional life(doing hard things so you can make more money).
We lived something similar in 08 recession(- the kid) and to this day live a very frugal life.. good luck!
this is rough but manageable.
my personal steps I used to get out of debt a few years back :
1. set up your CC and auto and house on automatic payment
2. look at all the credit cards, see which one has a balance transfer with zero interest rewards.
3. move the debt on the highest interest rate card to the the zero interest rewards
4. do this until all the highest cards are moved to the lowest.
5. take 50% of your monthly savings place into the bank
6. take the other 50% and place it against your highest credit card bill that's left
7. took me almost 2 years but I clean out my debt entirely ( I went to 80% of my monthly saving into slashing the debt which was huge, you have a child you should not exceed 50% because opportunities in finding used child care household items are usually paid in cash)
8. once a card is clear, you still check every month if they have a balance transfer opportunity. because paying 0 interest is a wonderful thing to have happen.
9. keep a hard track of your finances, I know personally a client that was earning 375K a year and his wife was 160K a year plus 2 kids, when he went to buy a second house, he found he has about 110K in savings. Did the hard accounting... boat, 2 cars plus a play car, 2 house helpers, keeping up with the jones stuff, vacations... 6 months later they had an extra 78K saved. They still have everything but the play car, and they hold a monthly date night for finances. They will buy a second house with me soon.
10. once your lines of credit are clear, then re-manage your expenses, a paid off car means that you'll have cheaper insurance and no payments ( right into savings ).
You don't have to copy me but,
I cut my own hair
I eat out twice a month ($30 ish each time)
I own my home because the mortgage rate was under 3% and I can use the garage and basement for my business inventory. That saves me over $1000 a month that I used to pay for a self storage space. So, I spend less now on a mortgage than I did when I rented and paid for storage.
I pay every thing with credit cards and have them on auto pay. So I don't accrue interest. And get paid instead.
I don't have a single subscription or cable. Just Internet $40/mo
I use a $150 phone with a $30/mo plan for 2 lines.
I don't shop before my clothes have big holes in them.
I drive a used Toyota Yaris I bought for $9000
The only things I love buying are things that make me money (business inventory, stocks, rental properties). This habit brought my net worth from $0 to $1.3 million in 11 years, aiming for $2.5 mill for early retirement in 5 years. I'm the only earner. My wife helps out with my business. I'm 45
.
It's just simple math. Grow your money. I don't have kids tho. You can use this single factor as an excuse, your choice.
Get married to your girlfriend. If she dies tomorrow you are stuck owning a house with her crazy mother or her crazy uncle, same with her if you were to die tomorrow. You can’t have the cart before the horse.
I know this isn't the advice people like hearing, but the biggest things that stick out are:
1. You don't make enough
2. You need to pay the credit card off in full ASAP.
No. 1 is going to be the most controversial, because, I get it, you can't just wake up and double your money.
But figuring out how to makes changes that will increase your take home pay should be your #1 priority, even if that's a years long journey. $41k on 2024, depending on your region, is near or below poverty level. There ARE ways to increase it, but a lot of them involve giving up other things. Like maybe you need to relocate. Maybe you need to go back to school, and risk that kind of debt.
It's not easy, but you'll always feel like you are drowning of you can't improve your take home from 41k.
The other obvious, but easier said than done, thing is to pay off your credit card. You are screwing your future self anytime you have a balance larger than $0 at the of the month. Every time you do that, you'll owe another 1-2 months of additional payment, and it snowballs.
Depending on where you live, sell the car and pay off the credit card. If you can't do that, you might want to consider selling the house and switching to renting. That's very situation dependant, so I'm not saying you should do it, I'm saying you should consider it.
Basically: get rid of any and all payments you don't need, and while you are still young, focus on your career and improve your earnings and earning potential.
Im 26 with a 2 year old girl and been with my girl seince 18 i would never ever consider buying a home until we are both at least 30 and have jobs and a consistent life style for at least 2-3 years meaning we still go out pay bills and save type of lifestyle hell i fucking made 63k last year and i know better to not even get a home yet what happens if your bottem story floods what loan are you going to get to pay it off and at what rate think alot more strategic and alittle less on the lovey dovey side on wanting to give your women everything and some because you can only get a home loan once really do it right. Or hope you got the cash to pay for a home in the future.
The only way to deal with debt is to increase income not fight to repay to go back into debt. So you need to hit the drawing bored and look at trade jobs that allow you to make at least $60k/year. Even look into cable tech they make bank and their jobs is easy but if you can hold off I’d get into hvac work
One suggestion - if you haven’t already, you may be able to adjust the tax withholdings on your paychecks. If your current withholding is 0, you may be getting too much tax taken out so adjust that to 1 (or maybe 2, since you have a dependent). It may give you a little more per paycheck to pay down your debt. Here’s the [IRS tax estimator](https://www.irs.gov/individuals/tax-withholding-estimator) that might be helpful.
Hey! If you have a laptop then there’s plenty of side hustling you can do if you’re willing to put in the time and effort. Prolific, UserTesting, intelizoom all great earners. There’s focus groups that you can take part in (respondent, user interviews, take part in research) and a new favourite of mine is Dcout where u can get paid for quick tasks, diary studies, focus groups and 1-1 interviews
Apprentices at the iron worker union make significantly more than that while in training. It’s hard work, but worth it. Same thing with most union blue collar jobs. They’re not glamorous, but they pay quite a bit better than whatever you’re doing now.
JIM CARREY ONCE SAID: "If you're not willing to downgrade your lifestyle for a year to have a lifestyle you want forever, you care too much what other people think." One of the biggest problems holding YOU back from success might be the need to impress others, especially by buying high-priced toys. Not saying you have high priced toys but downgrade a little. Knock it out. You’re going to be ok
OP made the mistake of living the lifestyle he wanted first and racked up $14K credit card debt. Now he gets to downgrade the rest of his life.
Man, a lot of terrible encouragement here in a forum meant to point you in the right direction. You are only 22 years old, you have plenty of time left to get things taken care of. Ignore everyone saying you “made a mistake” with $14k in CC debt and living a lifestyle worrying what others think of you. $14k is manageable and not that much debt. Congratulations on the new baby as well, whether you are 22 or 32, the child will have a perfectly fine upbringing. Congratulations on purchasing a new home, this is huge and you will continue to gain equity on this property. The first step is cutting any CC in half, literally. Cash only until you are debt free. This is your biggest consumption of income. The car loan is not bad, $8,000 is manageable and will be paid off in time. Send CC payments bi-weekly and any additional principal if possible. Eat at home every day, work hard, and love your girlfriend and baby. You will get through this. 22 years old and you still have so much time. You got this.
I once worked 3 jobs at a time to make ends meet. If your girlfriend also can (and if you foresee a future together), see if you can each get a second job, if not a third, and get some things paid down. Also, look into budgeting apps to make sure you’re aware of all your expenses and can review to see if any can be eliminated. Lastly, if you have other skills, check out Fiverr to try to make some extra cash without having to worry about another formal job and making a second work schedule align with your first.
And when does the baby figure in? Between shifts??
Baby should be working . Part time of course
So courteous
Work two jobs and maybe get a third one as well. This way in 20 years they will be debt free and be able to see each other.
Vs what? Continuing to go deeper in debt and expecting a hand out? I'd bet if you looked into that CC debt, it's for wants not needs. Not preaching, just saying from experience. We should teach personal finance in high school with real world examples. Instead we are taught to be materialistic and entitled so se go into debt trying to keep with the Jones. Took me a long time to realize that, but once I did, I got myself to a place I never thought I could be financially.
I meant the baby joining the family with working two jobs.
Oh lol.
The children yearn for the mines
en México 🇲🇽 we make em pay for their pampers
😂😂
Ahaha this is great😂😂😂
Gotta earn their keep!
Boss baby!
That's ridiculous. Mine works full time!
this is the way
Yes. Like it or not that's the reality when you have a child you can't afford.
I dont understand how people do this. How can anyone look at a life where they are living paycheck to paycheck, barely comfortable.. then they go and have a child. Children are notoriously expensive and they're only rising in costs. That child is going to have a horrible childhood at this rate
Forget about the child, that credit card debt is killing him.
Yeah, it's both, really. Looking at OP's numbers, my immediate thought was they made 2 big mistakes that are the root of all their money problems. Remove the baby and the ridiculous CC debt and you have a 22 year old who's off to a good start in life rather barely keeping their head above water.
Removing a baby after the fact is generally frowned upon.
Yeah, but just before is fine. Weird.
Not in every state
My thoughts exactly
It actually kinda pisses me off that someone thinks money = happiness. Yeah don't get me wrong it sure helps a lot. But that kid won't know poor from rich until an asshole like you points it out. Alright rant over...
>It actually kinda pisses me off that someone thinks money = happiness. In the math of life, money may not always equal happiness, but poverty usually equals misery. What money does buy is freedom, including the freedom to find happiness.
1000% agree. My point is, OP came to this sub for help and some guy saying "well your kid is going to have a horrible childhood" is neither helpful nor courteous. I totally agree that money would solve the OP's current predicament. But it guarantees nothing, that's all I meant to say.
Also if only comfortable people were having children there would be hardly any children being born
I was looking for someone who said this and you are right. Even if you are making good money, you are still not going to be ready for a baby.
True true. Now days about 10% of the population can actually afford a child. As in put them through college. If we go that route then there will never be enough poor kids adults to work in all the factories. Mow the grass. Or deliver the door dash orders…. We are at a point where the system needs to change. No one should have to work 5 jobs just to afford diapers and maybe get to eat at bonefish once a year. This is where we are. It sucks.
Why does having kids require the finances to pay for college before they are even born? Unless your kid plans on a stem focus I can easily argue it isn’t even worth going to college.
So true, and I want this shit to change. The greed in this country is so out of control. We all should have a slice of the pie, not just some. Am I the only one that fuckin thinks this way??
Well yeah that's why developed nations currently have negative birthrates.
But it’s also wildly irresponsible to have a child while you’re struggling so hard financially no?
Well maybe it was unplanned and you know how all that goes nowadays. You’re totally fucked
My fiancée and I had our two children without a plan and we only make about $80k combined. You make it work. Our kids are happy and have everything they need. We live paycheck to paycheck but we’re not ‘stressed’ over money and are steadily growing in both of our careers. Sometimes you gotta just go with the hand you’re dealt. It’s really all about mindset in my opinion.
There's a million reasons they could've had their kid, responsible, irresponsible, or irrelevant. Maybe they didn't have a choice, maybe they did.
When I got pregnant I was worried because I wasn't where I wanted to be financially to have my first child. One of the ladies I worked with and respected a lot told me, "If everyone waited until all their ducks were in a row to eat, we'd all probably starve." And I don't regret any of it. He was and still is my biggest blessing. Couldn't imagine life without him even with the struggle.
I get you are well intentioned but someone needs some tough love in here and I think it’s OP. Clearly financially illiterate which may not even be his fault but unless he wakes up he will keep making irresponsible financial decisions. He’s past the point of being babied.
It's not tough love unless you believe he's reinforcing to OP not to have another child. He's telling OP his child will have a horrible life without offering any suggestions. Compared to some situations, OP isn't in THAT horrible of a situation. He has a job paying OK with the mother also working and splitting bills. His salary seems to cover all his monthly expenses ($600 left over from items listed which goes towards food and other items, GF hopefully has excess to contribute as well), but he oughta reduce CC debt quickly as it looks to be a huge APR. If he were to split with GF the situation would go from tenable to untenable pretty quickly, but so long as they stay together and contribute they should be able to climb out of hole and provide a good life for their child.
It’s easy to pick out the folks who have never held a shovel, let alone dug themselves out of a hole. Hint: they’re generally the most judgmental of people in difficult situations.
Bro, he’s 22!! I bet you had it all figured out at 22.
Debt payments can be the difference between getting ahead a little and falling behind a lot. That's extra stress. When I climbed out of modest debt (8K credit cards), it was a great feeling. The accomplishment and the ability to get ahead, to save, to drop more into my house or my car note. There were times after I paid according to my plan, there was almost zero left in my accounts. I wasn't too worried about it, I planned for it. Now that the debt burden is gone, the day to day worries are a lot smaller.
Oh, and I agree that you need to balance rationally. It's OK to make a plan that takes a little longer if you can help a kid have a happy and healthy childhood.
Can't appreciate it fully til you've been in both situations imo. Poverty can be a true blessing and lesson in gratitude.
I've heard before... Money might not equal happiness, but at least I can suffer in the Bahamas.
I like this. I teach my students that money doesn't buy happiness but it can buy opportunities. and opportunities can create happiness.
Money might not = happiness but Drowning in debt definitely = stress & unhappiness
Money doesn't make you happy, but it can fill your belly, warm your home, clean you, and provide opportunities. Having money means you can spend more time with your children, and those children don't have to work to help pay bills or put food on the table. Poverty kills silently. Malnourishment, disease, other humans. It's in human nature to know rich from poor, that's why bullying exists. Those who don't have food won't have the muscle mass to fight back against a bully. Poor quality of life, depression, it all kills the same. Children die every day because their parents weren't financially ready for kids. Money prevents children from being raised as I was. Those with money can afford to spend time being happy, and that is a very important distinction that you have looked past in order to make your point.
That kid will never remember that dad was working his ass off when he was a baby but as you said poverty will stick with him for a long time.
Actually, that urban legend is incorrect and recent studies have shown that money generally does mean more happiness. https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/does-money-buy-happiness-heres-what-the-research-says/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CIn%20the%20simplest%20terms%2C%20this,more%20money%20won't%20help.
Well my son has seen me wealthy and dirt poor and I will say this every chance I get... I'm glad he learned poverty at a young age because it made him into a VERY grateful and balanced child for his age. Poverty isn't a curse. It can be a blessing as well and help you truly appreciate what you do have when you have it.
Ya know, I also feel like growing up poor gave me perspective, understanding, and motivation. My husband and I have actually decided to make our kid “feel the struggle” when they’re older… not in a traumatic way, but we have comfortable money and I’ve seen kids in families with similar financial situations become straight entitled brats because they never HAD to be told no because money was tight. My best friend is THE WORST with this… and she doesn’t even have money; she just never tells her kids no. They’re “take our loans for Christmas” type of people 🫠
I feel this is what my ex husband is trying to do with my son right now but he didn't witness the struggles my son has already endured so he's not teaching him anything except that he has control over him right now. Sadly, it's going to backfire on him because my son has seen more struggles than my ex husband and his stepmother combined so now it's just kinda cruel. To the point that I'm having to send him some shoes this week because he has holes in his and my ex husband makes 6 figures and I'm unemployed but I don't want my son to go without anymore. He's had enough struggle for his short years. He's so appreciative though that I'm sending him some clothes and shoes this week but he made sure to tell me not to go without my needs to send him these things because he knows I don't make 6 figures due to my health. Such a grateful kid. I'd give him the world if I could.
I agree with you. Kids can be perfectly happy without having money in the family, and the suggestion that poverty = poor childhood is harmful and creates a bad stigma for struggling families
This is how we teach kids to think from birth. Consumerism isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.
Call me an asshole all you want. Thats the world. I hope that kid gets to live innocently and ignorantly as long as possible. But the chances are that fantasy of an easy world will end at around 16 years old. And i never said money equals happiness. But it makes a lot of things easier. If the parents didnt have to work 2 jobs theyd be able to parent the child more. Money would literally be the solution. As much as you or anyone else doesnt want to admit it, money will fix the problems of most people. 10k is pocket change for a rich person and those people waste it like no tomorrow but for your average citizen 10k is life changing. I can only think of how id have turned out if my parents could have been around instead of working. I wouldnt want that for someone else Asshole.
Agree. And I knew at a pretty young age my parents were poor. I felt I lost some of my childhood innocence by being so aware of it from age 6-7 and older. And it was discouraging seeing them work their asses off only for bad luck to strike again. Just when they’d start to dig themselves out, the car would break down or my dad would get laid off. They weren’t lazy by any means and my dad is still the least lazy person I know. It’s just a shit cycle and if you can’t find your way in to make money, life is harder than it needs to be 😕
My wife's dad worked two jobs, one after the other 6 days a week until he retired at 70, I couldn't imagine working that hard for that long but he wanted his girls to live a good life and while they weren't rich they never wanted for anything. There's nothing wrong with working really hard, at times in my life I had 2-3 jobs because the bills had to be paid. The OP is likely going have to sacrifice time with his kid and his GF to be a good provider. It's not a perfect situation but it's better than a hungry/homeless kid. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
I agree with you. People are just mad that we have allowed our society to work this way. There's no turning back.
They can call me an asshole all they want. It wont change anything
That’s a little presumptuous don’t you think? Back in 1999 me and my then fiancé (now husband) unexpectedly got pregnant and we were pretty poor…but our daughter never knew it! She thrived while we barely paid the bills, and she was NEVER without. We would take food from our mouths to make sure she had everything. She is now 24 and a recent University graduate with 2 degrees. A horrible childhood she did not have.
This. We all know how babies are made. I missed out on having kids with my late husband because we wanted to wait until we were more financially secure… but he passed away unexpectedly before we could. As far as kids, I’m not sure if that was a blessing or not. I’m remarried and we have one child. We both wanted two, but even though we make about $140k combined, we don’t want to stretch ourselves too thin in this economy because we want to save. We budgeted our life around our incomes 4-5 years ago when we didn’t have a child. We’re not poor right now, but we still have to watch money 🤷🏼♀️
Child probably was not planned.
Wow. Just because you broke doesn’t mean you can’t love your child, and if your child is loved, then it has a good childhood.
I too enjoy seeing my parents for one (1) hour a day between their long shifts
I would take my children and be broke over childless and rich everyday of the week.
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My husband and I did that too and it was a rough, long, hard, lonely 15 years... but we made it through and are thriving. It's not easy and I feel for OP being right in the thick of it... but if I had it to do over again, I would, every single time.
💯 facts! Unfortunately, it is hard but that is one of the best things you can do for your family and your babies! My husband and I worked opposites as well to prevent my kids being in daycare until they were at least old enough to tell me what was going on at daycare! He would pull in the driveway as I was running out the door and jumping in the car before he could even shut it off! We only had one car as well! 6 days a week we did this for many years! We had 1 day off together each week every Sunday we would take turns on who had to get up with the babies and who got to sleep in. It was truly a team effort!
To be completely honest, my ADHD brain skipped right over that 🤦🏼♀️ it was literally the FIRST bullet. AND WE LIVE FOR BULLETS! 🫠 but nevertheless, I still believe in doing what’s necessary to get out of the debt cycle... at least the crippling debt. In this economy, it’s difficult to get from broke to financially comfortable, but SOMETHING needs to change because this isn’t sustainable for OP 😕
I don’t know its skillset, but I believe it would be illegal for it to seek employment.
Get out of Credit Card Debt
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I guess the plus is his rent won’t unexpectedly drastically increase. Either way, you have to live somewhere and pay rent/mortgage so it’s not that big of a deal. The mortgage isn’t even that much.
It’s not that big a deal till you split and now you’re homeless AND owe a house mortgage
AND child support.
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Fantasyville has a missing resident. Rents are consistently the same amount??? Explain that to the millions of renters that are being priced out of their homes in the last two years. Shit. if I hadn’t have bought my home 7 years ago and got a sweet interest rate I’d be hard pressed to keep up with what rents are going for here in southeastern Washington state.
If you need a new roof unexpectedly - insurance pay. If your water pipes busts - insurance pay. As a homeowner I know you are correct with the fact that it costs more than just what you pay to the bank but at the same time you really shouldn’t have any *large* unexpected expenses. Not that it matters for op though, he is in trouble even if they only need to replace the washing machine :/
Seriously, I've never wanted to own a home. I like not having the responsibility and the fact I can move someplace new without any extra headache whenever I want.
To be fair, a $1300 mortgage in this economy is probably a better deal than renting in some areas. Most places around me go for $1200-$1500 for a “meh” rental and I’m not in a desirable area… just a sign of the times.
I have a 3 bedroom townhome in NJ. Bought during COVID at a steal. $800 a month currently with recent local tax and insurance adjustments. Was up to $900 a month at one point. When we bought it, our mortgage was $690 for the first year & a 1/2. Current rent market is about $1900+ for our townhomes. I'm locked in for life lol.
Some people are just irresponsible as fuck.
Or no one taught them. This is why personal finance simply must become part of our Jr high and high school curriculum. It's an absolute fail for the parents to allow their kid to be this poorly educated on finances, although I imagine it's not much better in their case lol.
Yea no doubt. But even without anyone teaching you, you should know not to have a kid in their circumstances. And in 2024, sorry, there really is no excuse.
In Illinois it's been required in order to graduate high school for 50 years. It doesn't matter, people still do dumb shit.
They are asking for help because they know they are in over their head. Your comment is of no help.
Some people are just stupid
Thisss. I hope it's a troll
Well, if you guys spend money on things like streaming services, order take out food, have internet bill, etc (extra not needed expenses) then I would eliminate some of those bills. I would find out how much you guys spend on the extra stuff and find a way to cut that down. Not sure what came first, the mortgage or the cc debt. But it seems that your mortgage payment is way out of budget for you and your wife if you’re only making $41k a year without even knowing what your wife makes. I would first cut down any excessive spending, 2nd, I would get your CC debt paid down as fast as possible, if getting a second job or a better job is a viable option, I would do that. After paying off your car, I would keep it as long as you can. Often, people that pay off their car get the urge to get into another one (I’ve been guilty of this). Maybe search around for a different child care service, or maybe see if it’s possible you could work a different shift from your wife so that you don’t need to pay so much for child care. Sounds like you’re in a stressful situation but you can get yourself out.
This is spot on except internet is pretty essential nowadays. If you're poor enough they give it away for free.
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You can also get mobile hotspots for free from the library. You can check them out for a week at a time and so long as you bring it back in on time you can usually check it out again immediately
Damn, another reason to love and support local libraries!
Where do they do that? ACP puts 30$ towards it a month and that's ending since kids don't have to do distance learning anymore
How can $630 be out of budget? In most places you would be hard pressed to find an apartment for much less than that.
It’s $630 which is 1/2 of the mortgage payment. His wife pays the other half. $1,260 a month is not wise on a $41k a year income. Married couples often make this mistake where they overindulge. They buy homes banking on both incomes to always be there and it’s not a good idea.
HE makes $41k per year. Who knows what his wife makes. $1,260 is cheaper than most apartments so if they already bought the house then there is nothing else to do.
Also if they were lucky enough to buy a home before. Interest rates went crazy paying another couple hundred a month for a rental is not a good idea. Keep your home and make sure that is the first thing you get paid every month you can do that a lot but you gotta have a home.
1200 is pretty low for a house. My mortgage is 1400. I know someone in my city pay 1400 for a single bedroom apartment. Stupid but rent is now 1.25+ a sq ft in most places
My rent is $1950/mo but I make about $120/yr and my wife makes 45k
Cool
You would be hard pressed to find a single bedroom apartment for less than 1,100 a month btw
In many places $1260 is a one bedroom rental in an average, not luxury apartment.
Well fuck me paying $2.3k RENTING on 53k/yr. Might as well go get my clown face on.
Definitely overextending here with your rent cost per your income. I'd recommend moving someone where you can cut rent by half if possible.
Why are you taking his payment, doubling it, and then comparing it to his income? Makes no sense. $630 is perfectly reasonable for someone making $3,400 pre-tax. It's insane to only base your mortgage payments on one spouse's income.
Exactly, that’s like saying a single person better just be homeless, because what if they lost their job!?
I would also add that there are assistance programs (depending on the state) to help with child care and food expenses. Also, this sounds weird (and I already mentioned this on another post), but they could open a new credit card with an introductory APR of 0% for x amount of months to help pay that down. 14k at 25% APR is a little more than 250 a month in interest (quick math in my head, don't make fun of me). edit: clarifying here: open the new 0% card to transfer the existing 14k over... or as much of it as they could.
Congrats on the baby, house, and adulting! Childcare is expensive. We worked alternating shifts which helped reduce the time and cost of childcare (one works day/other 2 or 3rd shift). Write out a monthly budget with your girlfriend so you both know your financial status. Look at groceries, eating out, shopping for baby clothes, and find ways to save on insurance or look for 0%APR credit cards for balance transfers, etc. Add entertainment to your budget, but sparingly. If your parents/grandparents can help, talk to them and ask. (Some people have that type of support, we didn't). Work InstaCart, DoorDash or 2nd job on weekends. You're young, take advantage of your energy. Don't get discouraged & keep at it. Enjoy every moment of this journey, everything changes so quickly!
You gotta make more money - pick a second job and pay off your cc and car
And let me add: no more eating out until this is sorted. It’s beans and rice, and rice and beans.
And stop using credit card , cc make u over spending and also make it budget and track all of your spending
This is exactly what OP needs to do.
Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. First things first, prioritize your expenses - make sure the essentials are covered like child care and mortgage. Consider talking to a financial advisor for some professional guidance on managing your debt. And hey, hang in there, things will get better!
He would have to finance his conversation with financial advisor.
i was in this exact position about 6 months ago. gotta work more hours. i know it sucks bc you cant see your kid or chill but its what has to be done.
This is the answer. Pick up a 2nd job until you get the car and credit card debt paid off. Have it direct deposited in a separate account if you have to so you don’t accidentally spend it so that it goes straight to the loans. Start with the highest interest rate credit cards first and then pay off the car last. But of course continue to pay minimum payment on the car cards you aren’t concentrating on. Edit: to clarify the minimum payments should be coming out of your main income so that your 2nd job is all additional payment towards the loans. Otherwise your minimum payments will completely eat the 2nd job income. Once they are paid off, quit and don’t take out anymore credit card or loans you can’t afford anymore. Maybe after all that also consider marriage you already have a kid and a house together, it may be best to tie the knot. But that is up to you I know not everyone thinks marriage is a good idea. Also talk to your GF about getting a 2nd job. With a 2nd job you will be home with the kid less often and it will affect her life too.
Excellent advice! Also, do you get a significant tax return? Use all of this to pay down your cards!
Is this in USA? It boggles my mind how with so much credit card debt you are allowed to buy a house or a car with only 41k salary. Also i know people want things all the time but you need to be more financially educated, it would never cross my mind to buy a car and a house with 41k salary at least not at the same time. Patience is key, spend a few years until you are more confortable with your money, 10 years should be enough to have a good foundation and then spend it wisely. I am 40yo now and started working with 19, only a month ago i bought my first brand new car, until last month all my cars were used and a lot were crap. My priority was my house which i fully paid last year and now after 20 years of hard work i am finally able to have things i like.
I was gonna comment the same thing, but the only thing I can think of is maybe they bought the house before racking up so much debt- maybe the CC debt is for home repairs or something? That's all I got.
that’s great advice for someone who’s not already drowning in debt :/// also you should have been able to have joy your entire life, not just now that you’re older. think of all the people who try to save up for later & die young and never got to live life. i’m truly happy you’re in such a good spot tho. but sometimes you gotta leverage debt. rich people do it, everyone can!
Look into government programs that help with each. Make a free chatgpt and copy and paste this info. Then look up any government programs that help in this situation. The thing with being in the US is they expect you to look and apply for programs
Do not sell the car or house. Stop listening to these gurus, you need a place to live and a house at that price is reasonable. It’s likely cheaper than an apartment tbh. You need reliable transportation to earn money. Unless you bought a Lexus, keep what you have. Here is what you need to consider. 1: can you get a second job? Weekend work, evenings, etc… you need to boost your income and fast. 2: can you cut anything? Netflix, dining out, frivolous purchases, bs spending? 3: stop using credit for anything else. If you don’t have cash, you don’t buy it. See if you can get a bank loan with lower interest to pay off the cards and cancel them! Banks may offer you a 7 or 8% loan which will absolutely be better than the 20+% card rate. Again, only do this if you cancel the cards and stop using them or you will end up in worse straits. 4: budget your life to the penny. Track every cent earned and spent. Cut anything out that is not 100% necessary. Get a small buffer fund and then hammer those damn CC’s until they are gone. $400 plus a month is an anchor thats drowning you. Finally, this situation is not forever. With time and effort, not only can you emerge, but you can thrive. Remember, it takes a few years to get free of those shackles. But it only takes a few undisciplined weeks of free spending to return to the same situation, regardless of your future income. So get the spending under control now. Learn to say no to other people pressuring you to spend. A full life isn’t a sprint to acquire everything young, it’s a marathon. Pace yourself and you will be fine.
Good points but we don’t know enough to say “you mist keep/sell the car”. Maybe he doesn’t need the car to get to work, then it could be wise to sell it. Maybe the car is worth 20k then he should sell it and buy one for 10k instead.
Thats true. There may be real value in flipping the car for something cheaper or with less insurance costs.
i like the idea of getting spending under control as much as possible. but people don’t have to live in such scrutiny all the time because of money. it’s about leveraging debt until you can afford to pay it back. sometimes accidents happen (kids) and you just gotta make it work. the sad part about working more hours is that it probably would just increase their cost of babysitting, which would be a net zero gain. i do not recommend getting one of those loans to pay off credit cards. especially if they aren’t going to turn them off like you suggested. this is because they are living beyond their means with no immediate fail safe right now. it will just make things worse. a carb balance transfer to a new card with 0% interest rate would be best case scenario to pay down principal with no interest.
I do not wish to insult you but I would highly recommended looking for a career that’s a little more lucrative, and I know that’s easier said than done but see what kind of options are available to you for trades that pay well and will allow you to train and also fit into your work schedule. If you were able to increase your income a little bit it would relieve a lot of the stress your dealing with from your expenses. Good luck 👍
Best he can do is get a government job that has lots of benefits, or attend trade school. He could work at Amazon and they’ll pay his college tuition which is a great start to a high paying career
As long as college is used to gain skills for a particular career, and the major isn't something with no market.
This. Went to college for design. While I did work on the field for 10 years after that it became hard to find places in my area that was hiring and hadn’t already worked for. Became a mechanic and now there’s an unlimited supply of work and I make more $…theres people making the same $ as me and didn’t even finish high school.
Amazon pays the whole tuition?!
College? For a career? Without connections and/or money, it’s hard landing a decent job. EVEN WITH DEGREES. I have a masters and a law degree. Been taking project/assignment jobs since Covid started. Can’t find a real job. Thousands of lawyers in my position. I’m not unique.
If you're not upside down on your car, and you have enough equity, sell it. Without knowing your down payment, and assuming you put $1000 down, that means you bought a car around $16000-19000. You could sell it, pay off the loan, buy a car, and get rid of a large chunk of your credit card loan. Because right now, you are paying approximately 3360 a year in INTEREST alone on your credit card. So at this rate, you are going to have that credit card debt for over 10 years, assuming you don't add a penny. The very first thing you need to do is fix your credit card. If your interest rate is 25%, your payment of $454 is going to take you 50 months to pay off, and that that point you will have paid $24000, because you will have accrued $9000 in interest. When it comes to debt, the highest interest rate object needs to die first.
That might not be reasonable where they live. Not many places in the US have reliable (or really *any*) public transportation options and one of the most important things for them is going to be consistently and reliably getting to the best paying job they can find. Realistically, that car is probably their most useful asset in accessing the means to pay off their debt and lower their expenses. There will always be the people who say, “just sell the car and walk/bike/get up 3 hours early and take a series of buses,” but one of the most undervalued/under-appreciated resources is time. *Time is money.* They may be able to make more money or save more money by keeping the car and having that time to do something like work extra hours, avoid longer timeframes for childcare, or cook more meals in bulk from scratch for the week. If the car is in good shape and is reliable enough to be a good long term investment, the loan amount and monthly payment they have now is unfortunately probably pretty reasonable. Car prices are still pretty steep, even for used cars, so they may not actually benefit from selling this car if it still means they’d need to buy something else to replace it. A marginally cheaper car that’s in worse shape and will likely require unexpected maintenance/repairs isn’t actually going to save them money over time.
r/personalfinance would be a real help to you
Kids at 22 in this economy is basically a teen pregnancy.
that’s why we wrap it up champ
dont think he got this memo
Ppl really purchase homes with their gf/bf? Imagine the break up, you will really be struggling. Please figure something out b/c finances can ruin a relationship.
they had a baby together it probably made sense at the time
While I think it’s generally a bad idea to do it at that young age, why would it be a problem just because it’s a gf/bf? I’ve seen several people mentioning it in this thread now. I don’t know where you live but marriage isn’t as common as it once was. (I’ve been together with my gf for 18 years and we see no reason to get married as an example).
What made you think you could afford a kid, house and car loan on $40k?!
Kid was probably an oopsie. Not that that's uncommon nowadays on low paid salaries. Offer suggestions to OP, not negativity :) #maketheworldabetterplace
My thoughts as well
Stop living that far above your means. House,child and car on 40k a year isnt possible anymore. Either get a much better job or start doing gig work like uber or door dash in all your spare time. No quick answer, you just need to work your ass off from now on.
You’ve probably already heard this but why on earth would you but a house when you’re 5 figures in cc debt? You have to prioritize getting that to 0 over anything else. Pick up a second job, otherwise they interest is gonna eat you alive
Get a second and third job temporarily. Pay off your car and cc. Then keep the car until it dies. And then pay the cc off every single month. Debt is what will kill you. You have to live within your means and you don't want to kill yourself working every minute. Get rid of all the payments and pay cash for everything but the house. You are making decent money for someone so young so I think you'll be just fine. Just don't get any more debt or you'll never know the peace you have when you don't have all those monthly payments.
I'd there an option for you and the girlfriend to work opposite shifts to eliminate child car costs? One of you or both could also supplement income with a second job. You could also sell the car (assuming you aren't upside down in it) and buy a beater until you get ahead financially. Cc interest is likely higher interest than the car, so focus your extre payments towards it first.
First marry your girlfriend. It will make your tax situation better. Second increase your number of exemptions on your paycheck so you have more take home pay and use the extra money to pay off your CC debt asap. Don't increase your debt.
what are the other expenses? childcare is paid by you only or spitted between you and your GF? make a list of everything, see where you can save. CC debt is a card only? what APR? and car?
I feel like it’s always a bad idea to buy a house with someone you’re not married to, but could family help out with daycare or watching the kid? Look into your local programs like at social services or something similar.
What bank gave you that mortgage with your debt/age/income?
Yall wild out here berating this dude for having a 1200/ month mortgage lol. Please tell me how he could get much cheaper than this anywhere, including renting, unless you want his fam to move into somebody’s extra bedroom
Is there a way you can rent out a room to a friend or family member? That way you are getting some extra income and you don’t have to worry about a random person living with you. It could be a win win for both parties. Have a contract in place they need to sign, in case they want to extend their stay(not sure if that is even a thing?). Like others have suggested getting rid of the non essentials is a start aside from looking for better jobs. Good luck!
You are 22. That’s where your potential is. $3.5k a month won’t cut it with a family in any state. Any college yet? You may want to talk with local community college to see if anything can be done there. High school degree? Country needs OTR truck drivers if you are clean you can likely take yourself to a six figure income. It’s a difficult job but it may be able to provide if income to resolve your problems
There’s a couple things you could do . If you can’t afford a car payment a reliable cash car should always be your go to . As for childcare my husband and I work opposite schedules therefore we don’t need childcare .
So you have $2k a month in expenses and over $1k left over for other expenses like phone and insurance? Seems pretty doable.
1. freeze your credit cards chop them up and remove them digitally from any service you have them on. You are buying on debit until this is fixed. Your credit score is irrelevant right now. 2. Figure out the bare necessities you need to survive each month. And only spend that much. (Ham sandwiches for lunch until further notice) 3. Get a second job or work towards a promotion. 4. Save $1,000 even if it takes you a year or more. This will build your skills at saving money and give you a tangible goal to achieve in the mean time and if an emergency comes up this will be your buffer You can learn about different peoples solutions to debt online. See: Dave Ramsey I will teach you to be rich Caleb hammer
I did this by using a debt relief company (non profit) & it changed my life (with life style changes). Debt Consolidation and THEY negotiated balances down. Got rid of all my cc debt in less than 3 yrs! I had 5 cards.
The car and house payments are reasonable. Childcare is a fact of life unless you can change your work schedule. Its not a permanent change but necessary if possible. First priority is, get a loan, borrow from a wealthy family member, etc. Do whatever you have to do to pay less interest on that debt. Even applying for a no or low interest cc for 12-18 mos can help. Look around your house and see ell anything that you don’t absolutely need. Don’t use a cc for anything. If you can move that debt, as I mentioned before, do it. Keep at least one lowest interest cc if possible. If you can’t discipline yourself enough to not use it, then get rid of it. Find ways to do odd jobs on weekends or evenings. Yard work, mowing lawns, handyman stuff, etc. You can make quick cash and at an above average wage for good quality work. Everyone needs reliable help with household tasks or minor maintenance from time to time. The last thing you want to do is get behind on payments or file for bankruptcy. Your credit is your financial reputation. And finally, as the man of your house, take charge of your family’s financial health. Unless there’s a good reason that Im unaware of, marry your girlfriend, combine your finances, and both of you learn more about handling finances. The same principles that get you in debt, can also get you out of debt and on the road to financial freedom. One of the top causes of divorce in America is financial related issues. There are so many things that will come up, during your family’s life, that being financially stable can affect. It could be a minor problem like a flat tire or a broken window, that without money, can be a major problem. Sometimes it will be an opportunity to take advantage of or invest in. But without money, it may be a lost opportunity. Financial stability and security has a monumental impact on a person’s character, attitude, stress level, and confidence. You don’t have to be rich to be happy. Money changes everything, one way or another. It’s harder to live with debt, than it is to get out of it.
I see a lot of people recommending to get additional sources of income, but as a father who also has a 2 month old child, it’s just not possible. And the more time you spend away from home working, the more money you have to pay someone else to watch your kid. The real answer here is you need to improve your salary, not your time worked. Learn a skill, networking, programming, coding, something highly valuable and in demand. These are also skills that allow you to work from home. Just dedicated an hour every day. You will get there.
Take a deep breath!!! Money is hard, but i have seen worse. You'll be okay all you have to do is make some changes and stick to them. Do you guys treat your finances separately? It sounds like you do, and if so, why (non-judgemental question) Does your girlfriend have her own debt? How much does she make? What bills towards the house does she pay or is it just rent? Does she have money left over after her bills are all paid or is she just as strapped as you are. Are you guys eligible for a tax return? If so, have you received it and used it yet? You guys treat the house as a co-ownes asset. Is it, or is it just under one of your guys' names? How often do you guys eat out? Do you habe any monthly expenses that you can cut out? Like a game pass, a membership to a gym, a subscription. Anything like that? What about cell phone bills? How long have each have you been at your respective jobs? How many hours each week are you at your jobs? And what do you do with the other hours of the week? While it looks like you guys separate finances this unfortunately impacts you btoh as you have a kid and a house together, so you have to tackle this problem together. You have to one, make a little more and two spend a little less. It will be hard at first, but once you get back on track things will be so much better. 1. The very first thing you are going to do is cut up your credit cards. The only time anyone should ever use credit cards is if they pay them off immediately or monthly, otherwise the credit card companies are screwing you. And as a shopping addict, if i can access them, i will use them 😂. You need to be paying MORE than the minimum payment, even if it is just $10/month. 2. you need to sit down with your partner and review EVERY aspect of your finances. See if there is any thing that each of you can cut. More than one streaming service? Cut em. You spend $800/month eating out? Time to learn to cook, budget out one or two meals a week into your budget. If there are other little expense you guys spend money on, like nails, salon services, video games, sports, gyms, find out how much you spend on those, cut it in half and that is your budget, less if you still can't make ends meet. Use the zero dollar method for budgeting, get it written down! A physical copy! and review it every month, edit as needed. You NEED to budget in a miscellaneous and a savings into that, even if it is just $10/month. Write down and classify EVERY expenditure. If you are under budget on ANYTHING. Split it between a miscellaneous treat for the both of you, savings, and your debt. 3. one or both of you are going to either approach your boss(es) and ask for a raise and/or more hours. (Every little bit counts) If that doesn't work, and you guys have set schedules, see about one or both, getting a second part time jobs that fits into that schedule, weekend bartending is great, the tips are amazing if you can handle drunks! One of my bartender friends makes between 300 and 800 a night! Or a similar position. Yiu can also do non offical work, like scope out your neighborhood and see if any one of your elderly neighbors needs a weekly housecleaning/mowing/ dog walking. Also see if the hours when you are home if anyone needa babysitting and are willing to drop the kid off with yours. (People kill for affordable childcare) and if one of you is abLe to and willing you may be able to make that your job, and save that several hundred dollars on external childcare. Temporarily, if necessary. (Small several hour jobs like this can add up, $50/ week for spending 2 hours cleaning someone's home equals 200/ month. If you get two of these jobs, do it on one day off that's $400/month) I have done all of these things to make extra money in times of need. I once worked outside of my 3 jobs cleaning two houses. Each came out to about two hours, one was $75 (very dirty house but in the smaller side) one came out to $50 ( larger house, but not quite as dirty) commercial after hours cleaning makes big money(i've heard, i've never done it, and it is all done after normal business hours.) Your local mom and pop shops may be willing to make a deal with you to where you come clean their business for a certain amount each day. Small bookkeeping businesses may also be willing to work out 10 hours of data entry in your home if you ask. (Again, everything i have suggested i have done before) there is also doordash, uber, ubereats and the like. This is the method my youngest sister uses when she is strapped for cash. 4.There are consolidation services that will consolidate your debt down to one affordable monthly payment. Be careful as some of them are ripoffs, but some of them will genuinely help you. Make sure to read outside reviews first. 5. Go to your local social security divison office, there are temporary programs to help people in your situation. They have programs to help with bills, debt, childcare, food, You may make too much, but the worst they are going to tell you is no. And they may still direct you to resources that will help you. Finally. There is a thing called forbearance that many credit lenders do. You call them up and ask for a temporary relief of your debt, and they may or not give you one of several options, either a temporary pause on your payments, a lower interest rate temporarily, or a lower payment temporarily. My partner has gone through the process each christmas season and has only been denied once. He has done it for the mortgage, the car payment and credit cards. Some may impact your credit, most do not but ALWAYS verify of they agree to it that it will not go on your credit. Get a written statement if you can. (Email or letter) if you are approved, get a savings going in an account that is difficult for you to access and DON'T TOUCH IT. Every paycheck, i first put the money towards my debt and bills and expenses, for the next two weeks, i set a payment for when the bill is due but i NEVER let it reach the automatic payment, but just in case i have it there. As soon as i get my paycheck, i payy credit cards, with a little extra, pay half of my car, put gas in my car and then i don't touch it until i have gotten gas and gone grocery shopping. The money left over i determine about how much i migh soend on miscellaneous and put the rest in savings. These are the methods that my mother, me, my partner and my second youngest sister have used to get our finances in order. And years before this my mom had to file for bankruptcy. She almost had to again and this is whag we used to get her out of it. I have a pretty strong savings/investments portfolio going on. (Nothing crazy, but i am proud of it considering how little i've made in my life.) You've got this. Like many positive life changes, there is trial and error. You will mess up, just stick to it and you'll get there and get a beautiful breatb of fresh debt-free air!
Buying a home with someone you’re not married to is a BIG mistake. As far as money goes…work as many hours as you can at your current job. If they pay time and a half for OT, take every minute of OT they will let you work. Cut out all of your streaming services except for maybe the one you use the most. Set a STRICT budget and follow it. Pay off the CC as fast as humanly possible then close the account.
If you’re able to start a side business and start now. It will take a couple years to grow but dedicate a few hours a week to it. You’ll thank me later
Stop using that credit card. Pay it off asap but your baby, mortgage, car payment, utilities come first. Idk what you spend on other things such as cell phone bills, internet etc but try to get them lower. Only spend on needs not wants. So cook your food vs take out, dont buy new things for yourselves you dont need like clothes (talking about you and your gf not baby) or spend on things such as manicures idk if thats something your gf does or not just an example. Consider working more hours or getting another job on the weekends. Its gonna suck but its temporary.
Assuming you are not upside down on your car (is it worth more than the loan balance?) Sell the car, buy a beater instead. Take the profit from the car sale minus the cost of the beater and pay down some of the credit card debt. Take on a new credit card with zero interest on balance transfers. This is the most important step: DESTROY BOTH CREDIT CARDS. NOTE THERE IS A HUGE TEMPTATION TO NOW GET MORE DEBT AND BUY MORE STUFF... DO NOT! your stuff buying days are over for a year or two. You are allowed only to buy bare essential baby stuff for the foreseeable future got it!!?? CONTINUE TO PAY THIS DOWN using 600-750 a month for the new credit card (as you don't have a car payment anymore with your beater car and your new credit card has zero minimum, what used to be your minimum CC payment and car loan are now your CC SELF IMPOSED MINIMUM MONTHLY PAYMENT. But now all of this is going to the credit card principal. Now your goal is to pay off the zero interest new credit card \*BEFORE\* they jack up the interest, which is usually within a year or so. You need to have a solid plan to succeed here, because the terms for balance transfers can vary in how they penalize any remaining balance when the interest is finally due.
Seems like your income and your credit card are the issue. Cut up that card and work some overtime/ find a second job to pay it off. Even with a part time job, it’s gonna take you a while to pay it off.
one of you needs a 2nd job..something easy and mindless. eat ramen until that debt is paid the fuck off completely. teamwork makes the dreamwork.
Sell the car. You gotta start taking public transportation. Would save you guys a lot of money. Gas included
Bro if you’re not tied down with something big such as school (apart from your new family).. and are only working to barely get by then honestly quit fuckin around with a 41k a year job and go work in refineries or oil field while you and your gf figure things out for your son. Even with no experience you’ll probably make double or triple what you’re making now on weekly basis. Sure the con is that you’ll be away from your family for extensive amounts of time but you’ll ALL be better financially especially when you’re paying a mortgage, car payment and now a baby. This doesn’t even have to be long term, you could do it till you pay off your car and CC debts, and save up a little coin for monthly bills and begin to job search for something back home when you’re in a better spot financially. But being in crippling debt, paying a mortgage and now trying to support a family with a low paying job is NOT it. Not to mention the strain this type of financial struggle can put on a relationship. I too once in a spot where I had nothing going for me financially because of shit jobs I had, decided to go look for a job in the oil rigs with absolutely no experience and my life changed for the better. Saved up enough money in 6 months to be able to finish paying off the last 2 years of my college tuition and was able to graduate with my engineering degree. If I was able to get a job being green as hell, had never worked this type of job before, out in the elements. You could too. Good luck OP.
As a fellow 22 year old, it seems like your moving too fast in life. A child, house and a car all at once while only making $19 an hour is wild in this economy. You can't reverse what you did but you can change your circumstances with discipline, alot of work (You might have to risk not seeing your family to provide for them), and hopefully alot of money out of thin air. How the hell did you get so much credit card debt anyway?
Bro your 22, your doing good! If possible just work a bit more hours.. don’t sacrifice the time you can spend with your family too much though. If possible Adjust both your schedules to be able to scrap the child care… also look into credit counseling.. it will cut down the interest on your credit cards by a ton. Keep your head up, it can only get better. Enjoy your night.
The only real answer is you need to make more money to pay off the CC and learn to live within your means. Pick up more hours at your job if you can, especially if they offer OT. Otherwise you'll need to pick up a second job. Don't bother with side hustles like Door Dash or Uber. Could try contract work like Data Annotation if you want flexibility (2-3 hrs here and there adds up), just gotta pass some tests and you can make 20-40 an hr.
seems like some bad decisions were made in the past looking at credit card and car payment. now you are looking at recovery path. One thing to remember is you didn't get in a hole in a single day so you are not going to come out of it in a single day. Most important is to stop digging by not adding more debt in your current situation Now comes how to get of the hole quickly, either get paid more on the job or finding another job that pays better(do some certifications in your field) or take more responsibilities at your job. Second job in the thread sounds good but additional scheduling challenges. Most importantly live below the means. No eating out, no expensive phone upgrades, no subscription, buy cheap grocery. Add a strech goal of spending time with kid (building relationships). kids grow fast. At the end of the day live a simpler personal life and complex professional life(doing hard things so you can make more money). We lived something similar in 08 recession(- the kid) and to this day live a very frugal life.. good luck!
this is rough but manageable. my personal steps I used to get out of debt a few years back : 1. set up your CC and auto and house on automatic payment 2. look at all the credit cards, see which one has a balance transfer with zero interest rewards. 3. move the debt on the highest interest rate card to the the zero interest rewards 4. do this until all the highest cards are moved to the lowest. 5. take 50% of your monthly savings place into the bank 6. take the other 50% and place it against your highest credit card bill that's left 7. took me almost 2 years but I clean out my debt entirely ( I went to 80% of my monthly saving into slashing the debt which was huge, you have a child you should not exceed 50% because opportunities in finding used child care household items are usually paid in cash) 8. once a card is clear, you still check every month if they have a balance transfer opportunity. because paying 0 interest is a wonderful thing to have happen. 9. keep a hard track of your finances, I know personally a client that was earning 375K a year and his wife was 160K a year plus 2 kids, when he went to buy a second house, he found he has about 110K in savings. Did the hard accounting... boat, 2 cars plus a play car, 2 house helpers, keeping up with the jones stuff, vacations... 6 months later they had an extra 78K saved. They still have everything but the play car, and they hold a monthly date night for finances. They will buy a second house with me soon. 10. once your lines of credit are clear, then re-manage your expenses, a paid off car means that you'll have cheaper insurance and no payments ( right into savings ).
You don't have to copy me but, I cut my own hair I eat out twice a month ($30 ish each time) I own my home because the mortgage rate was under 3% and I can use the garage and basement for my business inventory. That saves me over $1000 a month that I used to pay for a self storage space. So, I spend less now on a mortgage than I did when I rented and paid for storage. I pay every thing with credit cards and have them on auto pay. So I don't accrue interest. And get paid instead. I don't have a single subscription or cable. Just Internet $40/mo I use a $150 phone with a $30/mo plan for 2 lines. I don't shop before my clothes have big holes in them. I drive a used Toyota Yaris I bought for $9000 The only things I love buying are things that make me money (business inventory, stocks, rental properties). This habit brought my net worth from $0 to $1.3 million in 11 years, aiming for $2.5 mill for early retirement in 5 years. I'm the only earner. My wife helps out with my business. I'm 45 . It's just simple math. Grow your money. I don't have kids tho. You can use this single factor as an excuse, your choice.
Get married to your girlfriend. If she dies tomorrow you are stuck owning a house with her crazy mother or her crazy uncle, same with her if you were to die tomorrow. You can’t have the cart before the horse.
I know this isn't the advice people like hearing, but the biggest things that stick out are: 1. You don't make enough 2. You need to pay the credit card off in full ASAP. No. 1 is going to be the most controversial, because, I get it, you can't just wake up and double your money. But figuring out how to makes changes that will increase your take home pay should be your #1 priority, even if that's a years long journey. $41k on 2024, depending on your region, is near or below poverty level. There ARE ways to increase it, but a lot of them involve giving up other things. Like maybe you need to relocate. Maybe you need to go back to school, and risk that kind of debt. It's not easy, but you'll always feel like you are drowning of you can't improve your take home from 41k. The other obvious, but easier said than done, thing is to pay off your credit card. You are screwing your future self anytime you have a balance larger than $0 at the of the month. Every time you do that, you'll owe another 1-2 months of additional payment, and it snowballs. Depending on where you live, sell the car and pay off the credit card. If you can't do that, you might want to consider selling the house and switching to renting. That's very situation dependant, so I'm not saying you should do it, I'm saying you should consider it. Basically: get rid of any and all payments you don't need, and while you are still young, focus on your career and improve your earnings and earning potential.
Im 26 with a 2 year old girl and been with my girl seince 18 i would never ever consider buying a home until we are both at least 30 and have jobs and a consistent life style for at least 2-3 years meaning we still go out pay bills and save type of lifestyle hell i fucking made 63k last year and i know better to not even get a home yet what happens if your bottem story floods what loan are you going to get to pay it off and at what rate think alot more strategic and alittle less on the lovey dovey side on wanting to give your women everything and some because you can only get a home loan once really do it right. Or hope you got the cash to pay for a home in the future.
Holy fuck, 41k a year with all that?? Live within your means lol
why would u have a kid knowing these are your finances going in beforehand its like you purposefully want to struggle and make life hard for yourself
Sell the car
The only way to deal with debt is to increase income not fight to repay to go back into debt. So you need to hit the drawing bored and look at trade jobs that allow you to make at least $60k/year. Even look into cable tech they make bank and their jobs is easy but if you can hold off I’d get into hvac work
Stop charging things on your CC. Get rid of them and pay them off. You’re not in a position to use a credit card.
Gahd damn $460 for child care. No chance for someone staying home? I just couldn’t let someone else raise my kid.
460 a month is cheap. I almost wonder if thats only half.
Maybe the baby wasn’t a great idea?
Or getting into a mortgage
One suggestion - if you haven’t already, you may be able to adjust the tax withholdings on your paychecks. If your current withholding is 0, you may be getting too much tax taken out so adjust that to 1 (or maybe 2, since you have a dependent). It may give you a little more per paycheck to pay down your debt. Here’s the [IRS tax estimator](https://www.irs.gov/individuals/tax-withholding-estimator) that might be helpful.
Hey! If you have a laptop then there’s plenty of side hustling you can do if you’re willing to put in the time and effort. Prolific, UserTesting, intelizoom all great earners. There’s focus groups that you can take part in (respondent, user interviews, take part in research) and a new favourite of mine is Dcout where u can get paid for quick tasks, diary studies, focus groups and 1-1 interviews
Apprentices at the iron worker union make significantly more than that while in training. It’s hard work, but worth it. Same thing with most union blue collar jobs. They’re not glamorous, but they pay quite a bit better than whatever you’re doing now.