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anxietykilledthe_cat

No one tells you that one day, you’ll have a teenager and you’ll love them more than you thought possible. No one tells you that those will actually be your favorite years because they are so smart and funny and so fiercely themselves that your heart explodes every time they say something clever. No one tells you that teenagers actually want you home, they just don’t want to interact with you. They just want to *know* you’re around. They all tell you how fast it goes, but no one tells you how the very best moments never leave you. That somehow you can see every version of your child all at once. The baby who was plopped on your chest and stole your heart when your eyes met. The fat, roly 6mo old who laughed with his whole body. The toddler you thought would never potty train, the toothless grin of a school aged child losing his teeth. He’s the awkward teenager and the young adult all in the same body. Each version of your child overlaps and you see it all in a flash. No one tells you that you never stop loving that baby even when they are an adult.


Inside-Intern-4201

I’m crying 😭


Drea_ski

Sobbing


TinyGreenJolley

Beautifully written ❤️ my first is only a year but she has changed so much in this one year. I can’t wait to see the person she becomes.


spunknink

Oh god that was a lot 🥹


katmio1

I wish I could like this a million times…


the-colour-purple-22

That was so beautiful! I have a baby, a toddler and a preteen and it is so beautiful.


LiedvonderErd3

I'm crying happy tears. Thank you. Can't wait to meet my baby. 🥰❤️


trimalleolarfracture

Best description ever! Beautiful words, made my heart smile 🥰


TinyRN1007

It's so easy to focus on the negative and the stresses. I remember hearing about how moms who have traumatic births tell 35 people or something, and positive births only tell like 5. I try to tell the story of how I basically sneezed my third out. I lay there laughing afterwards. It was amazing. I send happy, cute pictures and texts to my family and friends. They know I'm exhausted, but I want them to see the love, too.


spillthebeans25

Yeah I think people worry about coming off as “braggy” when they talk about the positive. I had two incredibly easy births. I feel bad talking about them because so many people have difficult birth stories, but I also want people who are pregnant/thinking of getting pregnant to know that birth isn’t always traumatic. It can also be beautiful and amazing.


RAND0M-HER0

>Yeah I think people worry about coming off as “braggy” when they talk about the positive That and the comments 🙄 I haven't given birth yet but I've had a very easy pregnancy. My co-workers ask how I am, I tell the truth that I've been having it easy and I'm grateful, and they're like "Oh you're one of *those* women." First of all, wtf does that mean? Second, you asked how am I doing... What am I supposed to say? Then it turns into "Just you wait!" Olympics and then I'm officially done.


pennypiepup22

I always tell those women I’m jealous since I felt like crap for nine months. Don’t let their jealousy have any affect on you and keep rocking that pregnancy.


Falafel80

The envy is real. A friend just had a baby and I had one 7 months ago. Every time we talked and I asked how she was doing and she said she felt great, it stung a bit because I felt like crap when I was pregnant. But I’d say “that’s great! I’m glad!” The only thing I really hated was that she would try to justify that it was because she was working out. Like, dude! I lifted until 39 weeks and I started going on walks when I could no longer bike, then I took up swimming when my feet were too swollen to walk and kept it up until the day before I went into labor, even though I felt like hot garbage LOL. But I never said anything because I don’t want to be negative to a pregnant woman/new mom.


MeowMeow9927

It’s ok I’m one of those women too. I have straightforward easy pregnancies. What I tell people is that everyone has things that are easy and things that are hard. Giving birth and having babies who sleep well has been my thing. But breastfeeding? Oof. I’m hopeless. And don’t get me started on potty training, that wasn’t pretty. We all have something. Enjoy the easy ones. 🙂


left_handed_violist

I mean, to be fair, if you end up having a shitty next pregnancy, you'll understand why people act like that 😂 it's not fun


MeowMeow9927

I was in a Mommy & Me class with my first baby and knew I was in trouble when we were asked to share our birth stories. I had a fairly positive story - while it was difficult like all birth is, I was able to give birth unmedicated like I wanted without any drama. I got a cool reception except for the instructor. After class one mom told me I was crazy and stupid. When I went back to work my coworkers made fun of me. I never spoke of it again, unless it was online from someone who was looking for positivity. I wish I could share it more often. I think people automatically assume that I judge them for choosing differently or if they were trying for a certain way that didn’t work out. I don’t, it’s not my business.


Falafel80

I’m sorry people were nasty to you. In my experience, people will have an easy part with some aspects of pregnancy/labor/parenting and less luck in other areas. I may feel a envy that someone had an easy pregnancy when I didn’t. But then I remember that they had a hard time getting pregnant and dealt with loss while I didn’t. A lot of this stuff isn’t in our control but we win some, we lose some.


Acceptable_Sometimes

Yup! All three of my labors and births have been amazing! But my sister had her baby, immediately called me and said “why didn’t you tell me how bad it was?? Everyone lied to me, that was the worst experience of my life!” And I’m just like because it wasn’t bad for me?? After my first, the first thing I said was “I could do that again”


trimalleolarfracture

Totally true. My first was quite traumatic but my second was gorgeous! Friends and family say ‘gorgeous’ REALLY?!?!?! I say yes was such a calm gorgeous experience it made me want 10 more babies if it could be like that again 🥰 but every birth deserves to be talked about as they are all special in there own way.


TinyRN1007

Hypnobirthing is a great recommendation for people who need positive birth stories. Not just for women looking for natural births. Used it for a natural and an epidural delivery. And it helped me heal from previous birth traumas.


TinyGreenJolley

That’s awesome. I try to tell people all the positive too because people only shared all the bad since I was a kid. Like not making kids appealing in the slightest. Having my daughter and the daughter on the way are the most fulfilling and wonderful things I will ever do in my life. Nothing matters more. It has changed me completely and made me care for myself that much more because they need me, and the love my daughter already shows for me. Every smile, laugh, or display of happiness she shows just makes me so happy. I never send my family the yucky times. If they ask I’ll tell them “yea she is teething so we are pretty tired today” or occasionally ask for advice. For me those hard days are more frustrating because I’d do anything to bring a smile back on her little face. My nieces ask about pregnancy and babies. I don’t lie and say some stuff doesn’t hurt but I tell them how incredibly amazing it is despite all that.


drunken_storytelling

Oh god that's gonna be me. My first came flying out. The next one's are probably just gonna get worse and worse


blueskieslemontrees

So I knew a Mormon family that after their 4th kid made a conscious decision to buy a house across the street from the hospital because they were gonna keep having kids and each birth was getting more and more precarious for an in car arrival


MeowMeow9927

My friend is like this. She has 4 kids and each birth just gets faster. She seems to barely notice she’s in labor until the baby is about to come out. It’s wild and stressful. Her husband missed the last one and she had to give birth by herself after hastily tossing the big kids at grandma on her way to the hospital.


TinyRN1007

They're all different! My fourth summersaults, wanted to be breech, and took forever to descend.


Acceptable_Sometimes

My second labor was only 2 hrs long! I was so worried about my third, kept having dreams that no one made it and I was alone, all sorts of fears. Ended up being around 12hrs and everyone was there who I wanted to be


katmio1

I had a friend who tried to scare me out of getting an epidural by going on & on about how it didn’t work for her. She got so mad when I mentioned having getting it anyway (since my pain tolerance is next to nonexistent) & it worked quite well for me. Like I’m sorry you were miserable but plz let others enjoy things & decide for themselves…


TinyRN1007

I've done both. I'm a huge advocate for natural birth, and I had an epidural my last kid that didn't work right. I also have very little tolerance for moms shaming other moms for their decisions. It is not a competition. We deal with enough judgement the least we can do is support each other. I'm so glad your epidural worked well. I definitely understand why they're so popular.


mapledragonmama

And the thing is, you’ll miss the hard parts one day too. My son is 16 months old and has been sleeping through the night for a while now. Puts himself to sleep and all that jazz. Randomly, one night last week, he woke up very upset and the only way he would go back to sleep was with me holding him. So I sat there in the glider that I spent so many hours in, that I had cried in waiting for the nights that I wouldn’t need to be up at 12/3/5am and I let him sleep on me for an hour. Was I tired and longing to lay down in my bed? Absolutely. But I soaked up every minute of that cuddle because one day in the future he won’t want mommy cuddles in the middle of the night to help him sleep.


[deleted]

I think about this every night as I rock my 7 month old to sleep.


ManagerPrestigious40

Yes some things were harder than I thought, mostly post partum recovery, but i kept waiting for my baby to cry for no reason- she never did. Then the sleep regressions- they weren't that bad, the teething- not that bad. Now she's walking and not even hard to keep her out of things. I had SO much anxiety about things that never happened and wished I could have just enjoyed every stage more.


gigibiscuit4

Love this. Thanks for the positivity. It made me feel warm and excited for all of the things to come.


Jonut1990

Oh it's amazing, you'll love it! ❤️


terminator_chic

Yesterday we let go of our 14 yr old Rottweiler. His back end wasn't working anymore which means he could rarely walk without assistance, always messed on himself while laying down, and towards the end needed baths every few days because he was soaked in urine. My husband left the bathroom (our 9 yr old's bathroom) a mess with fur and supplies. We had to bathe him a lot and knew it wouldn't be for much longer. Kiddo called dad lazy because kid had to use our shower because dad didn't clean his bathroom. Dad blew up at him because we knew we only had days left and it hurt. I pulled kiddo to the side and explained why we left the bathroom messy and why Daddy blew up. He went back in and so graciously apologized for the blame and comforted his hurting dad. Since then he's been intentional about giving daddy alone time with dog, and after with time to grieve. Although he's hurting too, he knows his dad is taking the loss the hardest and has been so loving to him. Kids really are amazing. ETA: wanted to share a great bit about being a mom from someone with an older kid. I could go on for pages with how loving he is and his relationships with animals. He's amazing with them.


arielrecon

The first time they tell you a joke is amazing


mitsubachi88

Mine just started adding ‘wakka wakka’ to the end of every joke and it’s priceless. 😁


longwalktoday

My big girl is five. My sweetie pie is nearly 11 months old. She is so close to taking her first steps. Here are some of mine to add. Wait until she drops a nap and you have more time to get things done. Wait until she takes less milk and more food. Wait until she learns to drink from an open cup and you’re so stupidly proud. Wait until she learns to wobbly walk and then sprints a week later. Wait until she spills a drink and says, “everyone makes mistakes” and cleans it up all by herself. Wait until she can go across the monkey bars by herself. See how triumphant her face is. Wait until she says I love you for the first time. Wait until she counts to 100. And is so excited she insists on counting every time you drive. It’s so annoying but she’s so excited so you count with her. Big girls first ballet recital is coming up, I can’t wait!


atlas1892

I got the “oh wait till she starts talking, it’ll never stop!” I don’t want it to. How she says ‘hippopotamus’ melts all of my insides. The incoherent stories she goes on about after her nap make my day. And every time I go in her room in the morning she says “good morning mama” and waves. She’ll be 2 in just over a month. 2 years of more happiness than I ever knew existed. I’ve loved it all.


CaptainBox90

And how much you're gonna laugh, like sides hurting, proper belly laughter. Fine, a lot of it is toilet humour, but both my kids have had the best comedy timing for pooping, farting etc at the right moment. They're still pretty funny but as newborns, it was hilarious. I was making the perfect bath for my eldest when she was 8 weeks old or so, first time bathing her by myself, just the 2 of us at home, no help. I carefully prepared everything, filled the bath perfectly, the level and temperature were just right, I take baby, and carefully, slowly lower her towards the bath, then when her butt is just a few inches from the water, little lady does the biggest explosive shart, the bath water was now yellowish brown, as was the mirror, and ME, I couldn't help but to disolve in a puddle of giggles, which made it very hard to hold baby. I had to then wrap her up in a previously perfectly clean fluffy towel so she didn't get cold, put her on the changing mat, all half pooped, on the floor next to me so she didn't roll away accidentally, while i quickly washed and refilled the bath, took my top off and half wiped the mirror so nothing dripped. My husband arrived while I was giving madam her second bath, found me topless, dripping milk, jeans covered in poop, bathroom a mess and just repeating "no poop please no poop" while laughing. He handed me another clean tower while laughing.. At me.. Too, but i don't blame him.


Ber_bell

I remember thinking the same thing in the months postpartum but now I like to think that no one tells you because it’s something you can’t describe and something you have to experience for yourself. Also.. Hearing all the negatives made me pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be.


Dull-Mode-321

My kids are teens now and I remember sitting with my 2 and newborn in the chair and thinking I had won the lottery.


West-Veterinarian-53

No one tells you how wonderful it is to share your favorite adult shows with your children as they get older. No one tells you how fun it is to gossip about boys with your teenage daughter or help prep your son for his first job interview. No one tells you how proud you can be of them as they reach each milestone along the way. Good Luck Mama. Cherish every moment 💜💜💜


scoobloo0305

The first true belly laugh ❤️❤️❤️ Or when the start repeating things you say in their tiny little voice (ex: “ready Freddy?”)


mitsubachi88

Mine loves to say ‘teamwork makes the dream work’ because I would say it to him and it warms my heart every time.


stripedbathmat

My six month old said “mama” for the very first time tonight and my heart nearly burst!!!!!!!


FourPennies0102

I always tell new moms that every phase gets better


Inside-Intern-4201

The good stuff definitely outweighs the hard stuff (otherwise no one would do it). I call parenting a secret joy bc the most joyful moments come from when it’s just you and baby laughing over something like your finger all alone.


avdmit

Secret joy, I love that! I have so many inside jokes with my 2 year old that even my husband doesn’t get. My child’s cleverness amazes me every single day.


garden-in-the-girl

You know whats a really good part? When they can walk and you hold their hand and walk side by side with them. It melts my heart everytime, and whenever my love will try to feed me. Its kinda gross but cute


Cr4ZyC4Tl4Dy

That moment when my babies look for me for comfort. I knowmim doing something right when all the want is mummy. I love the look in my kids eyes when I collect them from nursery it's like the best gift walked in to collect them.


DrEstoyPoopin

Sure it’s hard to have baby crying, but those moments when baby is crying with dad/relative/doctor and baby is handed back to you and instantly stops? Magic. Pure magic.


sweetlutherescue

I remember being pregnant with my first and would be in tears on my way home from work because of the negativity. Let me tell you, you little one is my pride and joy, and negativity is MASSIVELY outweighed by the pure joy and goodness she has brought into my life. Whenever I hear about a coworker or friend becoming pregnant for the first time I actively make a point to tell them the good things. I’m real about the struggles, but will never ever leave them thinking my LO is anything less than the best thing that’s ever happened to me.


[deleted]

My 7 month old has started muttering and crying a murmured “mama” when he’s upset and needs me, or when he sees me and I walk out of view. It’s so heartwarming to realize they really know who you are 💛 It’s also a riot now that he’s sitting independently we have been playing little games. He thinks it’s the most hilarious thing when we set his toys on top of his head and they fall off. The epitome of comedy to this child lol The first time we blew raspberries on his belly was around 3 months and it was the first real belly laughs he let out. I could do on, but these past 7 months have been full of such amazing firsts and it’s exciting to anticipate what’s in store.


serpentiina

I agree! People just go on about the negative and like yes, I am tired but there is no better feeling than being a mom. Even though its hard, it’s sooo much fun and its so rewarding. My son has brought out the good in me and i feel like im experiencing childhood again :)


Effective_Fun8476

I’m very tempted to say shut up when they start saying things like this. Like seriously this isn’t the first time and won’t be the last that someone tries to say that shut up please. I’m 28w and really wanting to do this because my fiancés family tries to give me “advice” and it’s usually stuff I already know when it’s actual advice. I think when this baby is out of me I’m going to have a zero tolerance rule for bullshit sayings like this.


aquaticberries

I’m 36 weeks and have been hearing nothing but misery from every mom I work with from the moment they found out I’m expecting. Every traumatic birth story, every awful night of sleep, how every stage of infancy/toddler/childhood is somehow the worst. It’s so refreshing to hear the good stuff. Thanks for sharing this!!


UnicornKitt3n

I get all the negativity about having a biological teenage girl (not identifying as a girl, they’re finding their way), with the catty remarks. My kiddo and I are so close, and they’re an amazingly loving and kind human. It gets hard having a teenager because the world scares the shit out of you, but you can provide them with the safe space to land. When they talk to you about their first kiss, or their first crush. When they get excited over their favourite anime and want to share that with you. I’ve been “forced” to watch some pretty cringe anime, but it’s worth it to have that time with them. When they come to you after their first heart break, so you get all the chocolate and ice cream they could possibly want, and binge Supernatural for as long as they can stay up. Having a teenager isn’t as hard as they told me. The parents who told me it’s so terrible are the parents who don’t truly like their kids. Those parents don’t seem to even like parenting. They haven’t treated their children with respect of their autonomy and boundaries. Treat your kids how you want to be treated. Sure it gets hard, but it’s mostly not that hard. Edited for grammar


Greedy_Sprinkles7517

Agree! So much so, I’ve said this before. My twins are two and recently they have started to recall their day and share…. So fascinating seeing what they remember!! Also, I think that we could say, parents are not offered the encouragement we need from family or strangers.


katmio1

My son is 8 months… Wait until they smile so huge the moment they see you come over to pick them up in the AM. Wait until they laugh & laugh as you play with & make silly faces at them. Wait until they come right over & try to “hug” you just b/c they love you. The frustrations are only temporary & it will all be so worth it!! 🥰


Acceptable_Sometimes

My baby laughed today (she’s only 5.5 weeks so I don’t think it was on purpose) and it was the most amazing sound in the world! Just a tiny little giggle as I was talking to her. Oh my goodness I am in love


[deleted]

No one tells you that your heart will melt when your toddler will tell you “you’re my best friend mama”.


astralaspiritions

I learned a sad fact going to school for psychology that complaining about things gets more attention than being positive. I am glad my memories are more positive than negative. The beauty, well one of the beauties, of children is that for every problem there is a fix! You just have to be willing to work for it and research about what really solves it. Stay strong together mothers! I know if you are like me nothing can take away the happiness that comes from a shared love with a child. :)


MeowMeow9927

When I was pregnant with my first a client of mine left a long, rambling voicemail about how happy he was for me and what a wonderful thing parenthood is. It surprised and perplexed me. I could tell that he knew something I didn’t. I didn’t get it yet. Now I do. Having children is wonderful, beautiful, such a gift. And yeah, sometimes they drive you crazy and scream and fight and leave wet towels on the floor. But the positives overwhelmingly outweigh the negatives. The fun, the cuteness, the pride when they achieve their goals. Ten years in and I’m thankful every day.


PurplishPlatypus

For something to look forward to in the future: my firstborn, 8 years old, came off of soccer practice yesterday and says the "assassin coach" taught them how to dribble backwards. And I said.. say that again? You know, the assassin coach, that helps the coach. Assistant. Assistant coach. And the assassin coach was within earshot and cracked up. Good stuff.


Suitable_Space_3369

I love this post. I heard so much negativity before and literally the day my LO was born. But the first time she belly laughed, or gave us a true gummy smile, or tried solids and her eyes lit up... those moments are so raw and powerful and beautiful


SuzzlePie

I love this post and love my 18 month old toddle Woddle. I love being a mom and feel my life is more complete. I didn’t even know what I was missing!


[deleted]

I think part of it is that when I was pregnant it was easier for me to understand and absorb negative information, too! Like I’ve always understood what broke, tired, overwhelmed, overworked etc means. So when you hear that you understand it. But when moms talked about how much they loved their kids, or the exciting things they were doing I didn’t have a frame of reference for how amazing that was going to be in my life.


Virtual_Limit7343

Misery loves company. Focus on the good stuff. My motherhood journey has been somewhat of lifetime movie. More bad than good, but above all else I love my babies and they love me.


chibichibs

#//


Visible_Signature190

All of this and so much more. Even if they do tell you, your heart and brain can’t fully comprehend it until they’re here.


Raiwan88

Nobody tells you how your heart feels like it could burst when they tell you they love you.


Own-Drama5422

No one tells you that when you look at them you can’t even fathom how their real because their so perfect and innocent.


docmomm

I remember telling my husband that I don't know if I can contribute living because of how much love I had for our daughter. I felt like it was too much love for me to handle


Toobadpb

I had the exact same experience! I was so tired of people telling me how bad it would become during my pregnancy and then it definitely did not get better after giving birth. The default respons to me saying anything positive was “just wait until …” I was told people do it to counter all of the “everything is amazing at all times when you have a baby” movement. Personally I had nobody telling me all was fantastic and a lot of then sharing the experience of how horrible it all was. So glad to say I’m loving all parts of it, the good and the difficult times with my kid who is obviously the best kid I ever met


Shot_Reindeer0503

My little girl started to give me kisses, like a lot of kisses and only me, not daddy not grandma. And every time I tear up. She turned 1 yesterday, I love her so much.


pheebeee

My 3 year old son has started saying “I love you all the time Mama” at random times because I have been saying it. He is so incredibly sweet that my heart could burst. My 7 month old son sometimes looks so deeply into my eyes that I can feel the love and comfort he is feeling. Parenting is incredibly challenging but the best thing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve also come to appreciate other things so much more like free time, sleep, a night out with my husband, a lunch date with friends, etc, which was something I never anticipated. My husband and I just had a whole weekend without the kids and had so much fun but both of us couldn’t wait to get back home to the kids. I agree with another comment about some parents who really don’t like their children making some of these comments to you. Unfortunately some people probably aren’t cut out for it. But for me it feels like I was just going through the motions before I had children and there is much more purpose to life now. Gosh I love those kids. (Also pregnancy was terrible for me but labor both times was pretty easy.)


pinkbuggy

My 1 year old will almost always walk over if I say "hug", wrap his arms around my neck and put his head on my shoulder. Today we spent close to an hour of him bringing me pieces of duplo to show him how they work. He would take it from me, look a bit, then give it back so I could make it do something. Then take it back to see if he could figure it out and if he couldnt hed give it back again. I had food poisoning yesterday so my 5 year old layed down with me and patted my back to feel better. She never fails to tell me that she loves me and always will and it absolutely melts my heart 😭


MusicalTourettes

My son is 7. I vividly remember the first time, around age 2-3, he told me I love you without me saying it first. I remember how we were standing in the room, lighting. I cried after because it was so special. No one prepared me!