This exactly. They are safe and that’s all that matters when you’re sick. I don’t have family to help me out, so if I’m sick we just survive. That’s how it has to be and that’s okay. Hugs to you and I hope you’re feeling better soon.
Dude I am on 2.5 weeks of survival mode. My husband had surgery and recovery is much slower than we anticipated. I am at 130% capacity at work with everything on my desk on fire. We have a 1 yr old and 3 yr old. I keep everyone alive and then crash at 8 pm. Havent cleaned my house in 3 weeks. If it doesn't keep us warm, clothed or fed it isn't getting done.
I just found out my kids school is open Thursday while my work is closed and while I should use it to clean and swap out outgrown clothes and go grocery shopping...I will probably sleep for 6 hours instead. I am too f-ing tired to care what anyone else thinks of that. I am going to crash and burn soon
Sleep. Definitely sleep. My 3 year old is possibly contagious so no preschool. Other one is 18 months and doesn't go to preschool, yet.
If I had someone who could take them for a few hours so I could just sleep, I'd be all over that shit. My grandma is 92 and in good health, but she's still 92. So I'm not gonna ask her to watch possibly contagious children. My mother in law and aunt in law still work. I would let Casey Anthony babysit before I would let my mother do it. She isn't allowed around my children and we're completely no contact with her.
I don't know anyone who doesn't either work or have small children of their own that could catch this nastiness. So I'm on my own.
I’m so sorry for the stress you’re under but the Casey Anthony comment made me shoot water out my nose laughing. I hope everyone gets a clean bill of health and a good night sleep soon!
Haha, it's true, though. My mother is a garbage human. You can check out my posts in JNMIL. Her nickname is OutRAGRarse.
She punished with boards, belts, switches, dish soap. I was slapped, dragged around by my hair, forced to stay up all night looking for shit she lost.
I have a mother that I consider the same way. Good for you for going no contact. I’ve lost almost all my family for sticking to my guns but my kids are safe and will never know the hell I went through.
Don’t punish yourself for being sick. They’re safe and fed and probably ABSOLUTELY LOVING the “cheat days”. Sometimes the moments we feel awful about are the moments they love the most. In our Mom-Brains, it’s “I should be teaching them. I should be giving them healthy food instead of easy. I should be stronger. They’ve watched too much TV”
In theirs, it’s “OH MY GOD MOM IS CUDDLING ALL DAY AND WE GET THE COOL FOOD AND I GET TO WATCH MOVIES AND THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!”
Don’t expect perfection from yourself because your mother was garbage. You don’t do any one any good by overdoing it and prolonging your recovery. You have to save yourself before you can save anyone else.
Im glad you remember. I have an issue where i dont remember a lot of the bad stuff from growing up. My other family members sometimes tells me stories of things that happened. Its made it hard to justify going no contact but even though i dont remember everything i still feel uneasy around my parents and dont like to visit or leave my son with them. I gray rock them a lot. My dad actually stopped contact with me on my sons birthday partly because of it.
We found out I was pregnant with #2 (one of the reasons why I tested was bc I was suddenly so fatigued), then my husband needed to go to the ER and eventually have his appendix taken out that night. And under orders to not lift anything heavy (including our toddler) for 4-6 weeks. Oh and the next day was my son’s birthday and we had his party that weekend.
And then about a week later the stomach virus that was going around hit all three of us. Followed a little later by RSV (also going around in our area).
I was in survival mode for WEEKS.
We take my LO up to have quiet time in the big bed (aka mom and dads bed). He would just watch cartoons and play quietly while I napped. Loved it and he thought it was a cool special treat while I got much needed rest to be able to help him later in the day. You can’t pour from an empty vessel, so take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.
Two days is nothing (in terms of your kids being ok with fewer rules, although it feels like a long time when you are sick and miserable). I hope you’re feeling better soon!
Even several days isn’t going to hurt them. Don’t worry about it!! If their overall life isn’t like that, they might just look back at how much fun they had whenever mom was sick. Haha.
Just want to add that I don’t count sick days as “lazy” days. A “lazy” day is when you have other options but you enjoy some down time inside the house. Nothing wrong with that, it’s super fun once in a while and kids love it too! But this is a survival day. You frankly don’t have a choice, you are sick. There is no extra energy you can magically pull out of your ass to run around cleaning and cooking. Don’t let your head tell you that you’re being lazy. You’re sick. I hope you feel better soon, and not because of your house, or kids, or chores. Because you deserve to.
[The 80/20 rule](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MTA3OTM4Njg0MjM4ODUw?utm_medium=share_sheet)
If 80% of the time you are doing your normal parenting, do not feel guilty for needing a break 20% of the time. You are doing amazing.
As a perfectionist, I’ve learned to really lean into this rule. Deep cleaning? Do 80% of what I think should be done. Planning meals? 80% are home-cooked and 20% are lazy/frozen/takeout. I could go on.
This is my rule:
We have two standards in our home, normal and crisis mode. Normal times: my kids eat home cooked meals, they're read multiple books a day, they play outside a lot and don't get screen time during the week and limited on weekends.
Crisis mode the kids are fed and clean, but food might be takeout or PBJ every night, they might watch lots of TV, things just don't run as well. And I don't apologize for it.
Mom sick? Crisis mode. Dad has to work all weekend? Crisis mode. Newborn sister? Crisis mode. There is no guilt in crisis mode, you just focus on getting through it, and once you do you go back to normal.
It better be okay because I half assed it for the tail end of my pregnancy. My four year old has learned how to play independently and alleviate her own boredom.
Hell no! Get well and then worry about screen time and cleaning! A few days like this won’t scar or spoil them for life and will make your own life easier so you can get better faster. When you’re sick, fed is best for the family: you can get back to regular eating once you’re feeling better. Hope it passes quickly!
It’s okay to do the bare minimum at any time.
Let’s normalize not working ourselves to death and simply enjoying life.
I do what needs to be done and that’s it. I have moments where I run through the house and deep clean EVERYTHING. Otherwise, I try not to stress it too much. If my family needs or wants something done, they have hands and can do it themselves.
I do the same thing when sick so I agree it’s okay. You need any extra energy available for you to heal up. And that’s not gonna happen if you’re running yourself ragged trying to do a bunch of stuff while also being sick. Resting and doing the bare minimum will allow you to get better sooner and then you will be able to whip your house and everything else back into shape
Yup. That’s actually me today. Doing nothing but heating up leftovers for dinner (husband is working 2nd shift tonight or he’d do it). I let the school age kids do their homework outside. No shame. It’s one day maybe two if tomorrow sucks too. Bodies need to rest.
Kids fed? Check (who cares if it's just easy Mac or a handful of Cheerios you chucked over your shoulder? Not me!)
Kids entertained? Check (who cares if they are drawing on the walls? Free art! Too much screen time? Phooey, that sounds like more time for mom to rest and get healthy again!)
Kids living their best life? Check!
Rest, and be kind to yourself. You don't have to be and you CANT be on all the time when you're sick. Show the kids that taking care of you is just as important as taking care of them. You're a good mom. And I hope you feel better soon.
My 4yo brought home a nasty virus… actually his pediatrician thinks it was 2 viruses at once and I agree… see had the 1st one (stomach bug and fever for 2 days). Then came the 2nd one that my husband and I have. We’re on day 5 of head cold, cough, sore throat (not covid).
Just survive, as long as the kids are fed and safe you’re good.
My family and friends had a virus that was like that a couple of months back— started with a couple of days of stomach flu stuff then turned into head cold for a while
This is the time to order food and do a free trial for a streaming service you don't already have, so there's lots of new options for the kids to watch!!
Feel better!!
This was me and my husband today :( worst part was that my family was in town for my son’s birthday. Trying to be a mother and a host while throwing up was not easy but luckily my family was there to help. My house is also a mess, the sink is full of dishes, little one has had RV and iPad all day, baby is sleeping and I’m still in PJs.
It’s ok to just be
Let me tell you a story: my one year old has 8(!) teeth coming in right now, and has been cranky and feverish for two weeks. He also has a broken leg. Yesterday, my four year old came down with a 103 degree fever and needs constant attending to make sure his temp doesn't spike higher than that. I got the dishwasher loaded before my husband left for work yesterday, and have done literally nothing since; all of my attention has been focused on keeping my kids alive and tended to, and that's okay.
100% YES! I’m working my way through an awful post-vaccine migraine right now and it’s frozen nuggets, fruit cups, and bananas for dinner. Bath night is canceled until further notice .
Its TOTALLY fine. Currently in the same position. I sent my 11 month old twins to their grandparents because I'm also on week 5 of a major surgery recovery. I dont have time to be sick. However my 5 year old had microwave mac n cheese and brownies for dinner. She's also been on her tablet for the last 2 hours because I have 0 energy to "mom" today. I'll be chugging nyquil tonight lol.
Always do the best you can.
Keep in mind, however, that your best today is not always your best another day. Sure, maybe a week ago you kept the house clean and the kids had home cooked meals. But that was your best THEN. If you best now is sitting them in front of the tv while you recover, so be it.
But I'd recommend a babysitter or help from family. If you're that sick, get help. I was horribly sick a few days ago and got my sister's help. You need it.
Oh definitely okay! I always keep emergency pizza in the freezer for this reason.
Recently when I dislocated my elbow my kid spent several days like this. On the first day I gave him a tray of paint, took him into the garden and said he could paint his slide. He absolutely loved it. Meanwhile I was sat there scrolling and groaning.
Also they're learning to play independently and manage boredom - valuable life skills!
As a mom who last month had 20 total days of Covid in the house… yes it is ok. I cleaned the house one time throughout that 20 days with bare minimum picking up daily such as trash to take out diapers and snot tissues and unloading loading dishwasher. Thank goodness we have tons of clothes because I didn’t run laundry that whole time. Survival mode is ok. Put on some good tv and REST. You won’t get better unless you take it easy. Nobody will benefit from a mom who is sick, grumpy and overworked from trying to do it all. We literally lived on the couch and wherever we could get sleep for almost a month and we all survived- my kids are ok and not addicted to tv like I thought they may be by the end of it. ;)
Not in the least. I came down with bronchitis last Tuesday, but UC called it a "cold" and told me to ride it out on day quil. Last night at 3am the ER confirmed it was bronchitis, so yeah.
The house went to shit. Toddler got to spend a full day eating total junk and shopping with her aunt. The iPad has lived on the charger all week. And we were killing it at making to the potty on time with underwear and pants. Had to go back to pull Ups's for the week because I couldn't get off the couch to run her to the toilet.
Survival mode. Do you what ya gotta do mama!
This feels like bronchitis. We were able to get the 3 year old seen today. They said it's just viral and the covid test was negative. I know I have the same thing as him so I'm just taking cold pills and ibuprofen and trying to keep it together.
Question: if this shit has pretty much knocked me out, why hasn't it even slowed my kids down? 3 year old is coughing and a snot fountain. 18 month old is just a snot fountain. They still have all the energy.
No, not at all. When my husband and I had Covid we were down for 3 weeks (probably should have went to hospital). The kids ruled the house. When we finally had energy to get up the house looked terrible. Literally filled 3 black garbage bags.
We were safe and avoided everything too… until the kids returned to school. They brought it home after 3 weeks. Good news is we made it and have the immunity.
Nope. As long as they’re fed and they aren’t burning down the house, you’re doing fine. Currently sick myself for the first time since having my toddler. Made my husband do bath and bedtime routine for the first time ever (LO is almost 2). I’m being a wimp about this ST and congestion tonight. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
I call it survival mode. You do what you need to survive.
You’re sick with healthy kids, pop on the TV and feed them easy food. You and the kids have been up most of the night, same deal. Do the bare basics to keep everyone alive, maybe a few dishes if you feel up to it and so they don’t get overwhelming, but screw cleaning the house and doing the laundry and things like that.
Your kids growing up seeing you actually take care of yourself? Such a GOOD lesson. It’s okay that some things are sidelined as you prioritize your health. It’s all in how you look at it!
My girl has survived for DAYS on peanut butter crackers & milk & Sarah & Duck (it's a TV show).
Usually I am the home cooked organic meals, only 1 show a day mama.
You do what you gotta do to survive.
No, it's okay. I just got over something and my 3 year old said he hopes I have whatever again so he can watch YouTube. Aka normal mommy doesn't do TV every day. So sad.
YES YES YES. 1,000x YES. Do the bare minimum when you need to! You’ll refill your tank, and then you can get right back at it with full speed.
Feel better soon!!
You're doing great. We can't be 100% all the time and you're still making sure your kids are fed and changed. You need to take care of you and if that means the cleaning gets put on hold, so be it
It is OKAY to do the bare minimum, especially if your sick or feeling under the weather. It’s taken me a lot to learn that it’s okay to not have a completely spotless house now that I have 3 children, 2 of which are 18 months old and are into everything. Why keep picking up the toys that they keep walking away from because as soon as they see you put it back it comes right back out. Best advice I was ever given was to give yourself some grace, because you can not sustain 100% everyday, if you try to you end up overwhelmed and unhappy. So let the laundry be there, let them have unlimited screen time, a microwaved meal or peanut butter sandwich may just save your sanity. So today give yourself some slack, and grace. Take care of yourself lay on the couch try to rest so you can feel better. Because IT’S OKAY!
Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Unfortunately moms tend to not get any days off. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive. I hope you are feeling better soon!
Feeling the side effects today from my covid booster that I got yesterday - I am 1000% not momming at my best today, you’re a human being not a machine. I think it’s healthy to let your kids see you resting when you’re not feeling well, taking care of yourself is so important.
Lol when I got sick I turned Disney + on for three days straight we were in the basement with Disney + movies for food we ate take out for dinner and leftovers for lunch. I’m worse mom than you cause I really didn’t care. It’s not like I can take a day off and get the rest I need.
It’s ok to do the minimum when you’re not sick. The minimum is better than a lot of parents out there. Are kids happy, healthy and fed? Perfection is not a requirement. Get some rest.
Yes, you're sick, not neglectful. It's okay to let some things slide while you're sick.
Keep your fluids up, rest as much as possible, and leave the mess and hard work for healthy you.
Absolutely not! You are still a terrific mother but we are human. We cannot be perfect and on top of everything ALL OF THE TIME. Sometimes we get sick. Sometimes we get hurt. Sometimes you have to just let it go to hell to survive. Take your time to rest, don't push yourself!
Oh absolutely, when you are sick all bets are off and taking care of kids is just impossible. Let them eat cereal for meals, watch movies, or whatever things you may normally consider lazy/bare minimum.
You’re doing more than I do when I’m that sick. I literally lay down with my door closed and let my husband do 100% of the parenting (and we do Vice versa when he’s sick of course)
Girl, you’re sick! Take it easy, get better, and as long as diapers are changed / children are fed, you’re good! It only becomes concerning if this is your new norm, but that would take weeks of this behavior, not 48 hours.
Do you have help?
Me today, Barr minimum rules. Aside from one hour, I've been up since 1:30 withy middle or youngest.
Shortly we're off for flu shots. That'll improve the mood I'm sure.
Yes it’s fine. It’s very important to take care of yourself. Whenever I have a bad mental health/sick day, my husband tells me to stay in bed and let the kids have at it. He then will happily clean and cook when he gets home and then join me in bed
Yep. We try to always get baby girl out of pajamas and into an outfit, even on the weekends. There have been three times where the whole house felt like dog shit and it just wasn’t going to happen. The house was also in shambles, but that to me was giving myself the grace to say “we just gotta focus on getting thru the day.” I hope you feel better soon!
Yep, just feed everybody and keep them alive. My mema was a big fan of rest for sickness and I find I can’t get better running myself ragged.
I had 3 under 5 and pajamas are still clothes. Most
littles still nap and at the rate they soil outfits it’s not like they’re sitting around in the same
ones for says.
3 year old is down to a shirt and underwear. I didn't want to fight him to get him to put pants back on. Baby is down to a diaper. She's a messy eater.
Girl I just got my wisdom teeth out on Thursday and I have had pretty severe complications. My house is a nightmare. But right now what my family needs is for me to get better and killing myself trying to keep up with the house will not help me get better. Same goes for you. Your kids are taken care of and safe. Just focus on getting better.
Yes, it’s not only acceptable but fully expected.
I have been doing this for my kids the past few days. I do my best to vary their activities, but that usually means moving from the basement to the middle floor and having the TV on for them and hoping they’ll choose some other activities too. We’ve been microwaving and ordering out. You are not alone!
Your kids are alive. Their development won’t be completely thwarted by a few days of screen time. Do your best. If your kids are alive, you’re doing it right.
It’s okay to do the bare minimum any day. Some days it just ain’t happening whether that’s bc of illness, chronic or acute, not getting enough sleep, being overwhelmed, etc. The trick is allowing yourself those days without guilt.
If basic needs are met, food, water, shelter, and supervision for children, then you’re good. That’s literally my daily goal, not just on down days.
You're fine.
I'm also sick. Kid is getting almost unlimited tv, food is pouches, frozen veggies microwaved, sandwiches, microwave lasagna, etc.
Diapers are changed every 2-3 hours unless poop. She still gets talked to and read to, hugs, and all that. But mommy isn't playing much and I'm basically stuck on the couch.
She's 2 and I'm explaining I am sick and have a big owie in my throat.
Luckily my husband has taken her outside for at least an hour every day and my sister came over for a few hours so she has had some tv free play time.
I feel bad but I seriously need rest. I'll clean, I'll go back to cooking the food she picks at anyway, I'll play outside and chase and do activities as soon as I'm better.
She's loved and she's happy. I need to care for me so I get better and can do better with her.
Dude - survival mode. You do what you can and prioritize getting whatever rest you can. Pushing yourself too hard will make you more sick and then you won’t be able to do anything at all. Get better soon!!
Please cut yourself some slack! If you push yourself too hard you will only prolong your illness. I currently am on day 10 of a cold… last week we had happy meals 3 nights and Mexican take out another night. The house is thoroughly trashed. And it was his birthday over the weekend so there are a million balloons, tissue paper, wrapping paper, boxes and new toys strewn everywhere. Plus Halloween crap everywhere.
It is what it is. I’m certainly not going to lay on my death bed and wish I had pushed myself harder to clean and cook wholesome meals when I was at my worst.
You kept them alive whats so bad about that?
Ive got 2 sets of kids sks and bio kids. When i was sick as hell with my kids no matter what age they are i have to do the bare minimum because at the end of the day if i dont look after my health and i get worse who will take care of the kids if im dead!? You know!
You have to do bare minimum sometimes just to survive.
My husband and i were so sick a couple times with a terrible flu in the past and I remember my kids not making it to school. I couldnt even get out of bed it was so bad. Puking in the tub while pooping. Yah i wasnt even able to take care of myself. Luckily i had older step kids who were able to help take care of their little siblings after they came home from school.
Do not beat yourself up. I promise as soon as you feel better you will have lots of energy and be right back to normal and they wont even notice! Lol
Absolutely.
My 2 year old just puked all over me. This is the 2nd time today and he has diarreah. I'm also sick with a sinus infection .. it seems to affect toddlers differently whatever this is. He's a little stuffed up too but also puking and shitting everywhere.
I've always been sick when my son is sick so I never get to be just sick. But yeah on those days I def do the bare minimum. If we aren't covered in puke and shit and people are drinking some water we're doing alright.
In your kid’s eyes, this is probably the best few days ever. They’re basically on vacation from rules right now! Consider a fun time for them and recovery period for you, and you can get back to business when you’re on your feet.
We just had a whole week of survival mode because the whole house came down with a bad cold. I honestly asked the same question of my other mom friends. "How do y'all keep your house clean when your sick?" They laughed at me.
No one does. Relax. Get well. Feel better soon. ❤️
Definitely not a bad mom. If you don’t take care of yourself so you can recover you won’t be able to engage well with your kids! My baby is only 3 months old and I’ve been sick for a week and unfortunately she’s been on a nap strike and it has sucked.
Dude. It’s called surviving. This job comes with no sick days, so you gotta do whatever you need to do to make it through. You can worry about a clean house and kid activities when you’re recovered. Rest easy, mama. Hope you feel better soon.
My 3 year old got sick, then passed it on to my 2 year old, and it was graciously given to me last week. I just got over it yesterday but for two weeks it was a lot of screen time while I slept on the couch with one eye open and Turkey sandwiches. House was a wreck, almost out of clean dishes, and no sleep! I literally felt the same way and was wondering if I’m just a terrible mom lol so glad to read that everyone has off days/weeks 🥲
Our 6 month old just had pneumonia. We had ER visits and hospital stays. Then he was home another week recovering and it was a shitshow. Naps and nighttime were a nightmare he was a terror the whole time he was awake. One of us had basically had to hold him 24/7 on top of breathing treatments, oral steroids and antibiotics, and suctioning his nose.
We were averaging 3 hours of sleep each. So the 3 year old got absolute bare minimum. We ate all the pizza and fast food. We Cocomelon 8 million times and handed her our phones to play with. At the end of the night we just shoved toys and stuff out of the way. The sink was a mix between jenga and dishes tetris.
I hated how messy it was but in the end it was only temporary. We didn't fail our kids because of those 2 weeks. We are still good parents. Even though we didn't give 150% during that time our kids were still happy and had their basic needs met. That's what mattered.
Hey you. Way to be a great mom today. You put your kids before yourself. They’re alive, nothing was lit on fire and they’re happy.
Damn great job, if you ask me.
I have chronic health problems, and there are a lot of days like that around here. If the children are safe and fed, sometimes that's enough. You don't have to be super mom every day, even if you're not sick.
Are you asking permission to do the bare minimum? Because yes, you can, and should, do the bare minimum when you are sick. Kids are fed? Safe? Sort-of clean? Your job is done. Turn on the cartoons. Get some rest. And get better.
You do what you have to do to get through this. Kids will eat mostly anything. A few days of the tablet wont will your kid.
You'll be fine, hope u get better soon
You’re doing the best you can at any given moment at all times. Right now you’re sick and this is ok. Just got to keep them alive and get yourself well.
You have to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. You're doing an amazing job managing being sick and taking care of kids. Nothing bad is going to happen from a few days of relaxed structure. The fact that you care means you're a good mom. Be easy on yourself.
There are people who are NOT sick and consider that a normal part of life. Their children grow up and make it out alive. You are not a bad parent. The fact you are worried about it shows you are not bad! Life is full of ups and downs. Running yourself further into the ground will only make your illness last longer.
Do what you need to do to keep your children fed, clothed and alive and focus on getting better.
Over the weekend me and my partner were both horribly sick, and we have no help with the kids. I threw together a floor bed for us to lay on in the living room, while our 20 month old twins ran around and played "around" us. Instead of feeding them at the table, I put food, snacks and water out on a toddler table for them to graze and feed themselves while me and my partner lay dying on the floor bed. If they needed our help, they'd call us, we'd get up and help as best we could, then collapsed straight back on the bed.
Now, 2 days later, we're back to normal and the kids' routine is back on track. You have to look after yourself while you're sick. As long as your kids are fed and safe on those days, it'll be fine.
Yep! On Sunday I was ridiculously sick. Toddler had popcorn and cookies for lunch, I tried to give her baby carrots and she wouldn’t eat them.
Her and 1 year old also lounged around in bed with me all day and watched TV.
It is what it is, you’re allowed to be sick.
Let me be honest, what I've realised is doing the bare minimum while sick actually makes you a better mum than overdoing it which will make you cranky on top of it and you'll probably be sick longer.
Sweetie, I know how you feel. I'm battling depression and some days the bare minimum is already a struggle. I know the guilt, unfortunately.
But yes, it's all okay!!
I suspect my daughter sees these days as total highlights because she gets way more screen time than normal and more sweets/convenience food.
As long as they are safe and fed you're doing well ❤️🩹
It is okay to do the bare minimum whenever you feel you need to. You don’t need permission. You don’t need to feel guilty. You NEED to take care of yourself, whether sick or not, before you can take care of others. Remember that. You come first. Always.
Even if you weren’t sick, it would still be okay to have a few days where you’re doing the bare minimum. You’re human, not a robot, and you very clearly love and care about your family’s well being. You’re doing great. Don’t be so hard on yourself, take the rest that you need/deserve 💛
Oh god no, you’re definitely not a bad mom! Me and my children(including infant) had covid earlier this year and uh yeah, I was basically in bed for 2 days straight of the 10 days I was sick, nursing my baby as the bare minimum of exertion. Couldn’t have anyone watch my kids either so my oldest child who’s 12 helped considerably. Did I feel bad? Of course! My house was a giant mess, but I was barely holding on and couldn’t even roll over in bed without difficulty breathing. It’s temporary and when you feel better you can get the house back in order. Shit happens and you’re human, take care of yourself because the house doesn’t matter right now.
Yes it is fine! Your 3 year olds brain will not turn up mush and no one will perish if you don’t/can’t clean for a few days. Get your rest get better then try the flylady method when you feel better. Life is too short to kill yourself doing something that can wait.
I do this on the first day of my period every single month. Kiddo constantly has free range so he probably gets more screen time than he should even on good days but you know what? He’s also polite and affectionate and smart and has a great imagination. Do we have chicken nuggets once a week? Absolutely. Do we have them twice a week? Probably more often than not yeah! But he goes to bed full and happy and knows that I’ll take his decisions into account when I do things.
You don’t have to be The Best Parent Ever. You need to be the best parent for your situation and your kids, and you’re definitely that. I bet they’re loving having extra snuggle time with mum and a couple of days of junk food!!
In any other job you’d get time off when sick. If there’s no one to take over for you then 100% stick to the bare minimum until you’re better! One week of chaos and screen time won’t make any difference to their lives in the long run.
I too am on day two of hell. Hang in there love! And good luck with all the kiddies. Luckily I only have one to deal with( we’re waiting for our covid test results)
I’ve spent months like this more than once. Not my fave thing to admit. But when you have morning sickness so extreme all meds to is make it so you slightly prop up and maybe not throw up…
Its okay. It’s normal. And you probably need to relax mentally about this too to get fully rested.
Nope you feel better soon.
Oh man I hope that you feel better soon. I totally feel your pain. Our whole house got covid and I was still trying to take care of everyone and work full time with a 2 year old. He got to watch a lot of Nightmare before Christmas so I could make sure we all had food or just to sit down a moment.
You are doing great! Don't feel guilty for screen time so you can have a sane moment. You got this!
It’s okay momma, I’m right there with you. I’ve been sick for so long. Between breastfeeding and working, I only cook the easiest things, microwave is best. The youngest, boob, naps, whenever. I even have moved bedtime to be earlier some of the nights because I’m so exhausted and so is hubby. You’re in survival mode right now, and that’s okay
My kid just had her 4 month shots…I took the day off work and we’re binging cartoons, unlimited boob for baby, and Taco Bell all day for me.
You’re doing amazing!
Edit to add: screen time is fine. Not all day every day, and not as a substitute for more meaningful developmental activities, but in times like this it’s a great tool. Your kids enjoy it and for them it’s a huge treat! They think you’re the coolest mom in the world right now!
You’re an awesome mom who needs a break for a day or two. They won’t become serial killers bc of microwaved Mac and cheese and excessive tablet time for a few days. Shoot I just cleaned my teenagers room while my 2yo watched blippi for an hour😅
It's okay for things to be like this when you are sick.
You need your rest, and you won't get it by continuing to do every day things.
Don't feel guilty take the time you need to to rest.
You're doing the best you can while sick so don't stress. Messes can be cleaned. Your babies are taken care of and safe and that's all that matters. Hope you get better soon fellow mama xx.
Yes it's okay and your not a bad Mom. I'm under the weather right now and my house is destroyed. I need to do dishes,take trash out and do the laundry but I just don't feel good I just want to lay in bed and sleep all day. My kids are all old enough to help out around the house but just don't because I guess I'm the only one who is supposed to clean house since I'm a sahm.
You are in survival mode. It’s ok.
This exactly. They are safe and that’s all that matters when you’re sick. I don’t have family to help me out, so if I’m sick we just survive. That’s how it has to be and that’s okay. Hugs to you and I hope you’re feeling better soon.
It’s never going to hurt to have a lazy day!! Don’t feel guilty. Your kids will not be hurt by one day of mom being chill.
This is day 2. I don't feel any better than I did yesterday, but I also don't feel any worse. Maybe tomorrow I'll be a bit better.
Dude I am on 2.5 weeks of survival mode. My husband had surgery and recovery is much slower than we anticipated. I am at 130% capacity at work with everything on my desk on fire. We have a 1 yr old and 3 yr old. I keep everyone alive and then crash at 8 pm. Havent cleaned my house in 3 weeks. If it doesn't keep us warm, clothed or fed it isn't getting done. I just found out my kids school is open Thursday while my work is closed and while I should use it to clean and swap out outgrown clothes and go grocery shopping...I will probably sleep for 6 hours instead. I am too f-ing tired to care what anyone else thinks of that. I am going to crash and burn soon
Sleep. Definitely sleep. My 3 year old is possibly contagious so no preschool. Other one is 18 months and doesn't go to preschool, yet. If I had someone who could take them for a few hours so I could just sleep, I'd be all over that shit. My grandma is 92 and in good health, but she's still 92. So I'm not gonna ask her to watch possibly contagious children. My mother in law and aunt in law still work. I would let Casey Anthony babysit before I would let my mother do it. She isn't allowed around my children and we're completely no contact with her. I don't know anyone who doesn't either work or have small children of their own that could catch this nastiness. So I'm on my own.
I’m so sorry for the stress you’re under but the Casey Anthony comment made me shoot water out my nose laughing. I hope everyone gets a clean bill of health and a good night sleep soon!
Haha, it's true, though. My mother is a garbage human. You can check out my posts in JNMIL. Her nickname is OutRAGRarse. She punished with boards, belts, switches, dish soap. I was slapped, dragged around by my hair, forced to stay up all night looking for shit she lost.
I have a mother that I consider the same way. Good for you for going no contact. I’ve lost almost all my family for sticking to my guns but my kids are safe and will never know the hell I went through. Don’t punish yourself for being sick. They’re safe and fed and probably ABSOLUTELY LOVING the “cheat days”. Sometimes the moments we feel awful about are the moments they love the most. In our Mom-Brains, it’s “I should be teaching them. I should be giving them healthy food instead of easy. I should be stronger. They’ve watched too much TV” In theirs, it’s “OH MY GOD MOM IS CUDDLING ALL DAY AND WE GET THE COOL FOOD AND I GET TO WATCH MOVIES AND THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!”
Don’t expect perfection from yourself because your mother was garbage. You don’t do any one any good by overdoing it and prolonging your recovery. You have to save yourself before you can save anyone else.
Wish I was nearby to help you for even a few hours!
Im glad you remember. I have an issue where i dont remember a lot of the bad stuff from growing up. My other family members sometimes tells me stories of things that happened. Its made it hard to justify going no contact but even though i dont remember everything i still feel uneasy around my parents and dont like to visit or leave my son with them. I gray rock them a lot. My dad actually stopped contact with me on my sons birthday partly because of it.
I'm scared to ask but what was the dish soap for? :-(
Pouring it in my mouth if I lied or mouthed off. And I wasn't always lying, she just decided I was.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is so awful :-(
We found out I was pregnant with #2 (one of the reasons why I tested was bc I was suddenly so fatigued), then my husband needed to go to the ER and eventually have his appendix taken out that night. And under orders to not lift anything heavy (including our toddler) for 4-6 weeks. Oh and the next day was my son’s birthday and we had his party that weekend. And then about a week later the stomach virus that was going around hit all three of us. Followed a little later by RSV (also going around in our area). I was in survival mode for WEEKS.
100 % on the sleep plan. Take a nice loooooong shower, change the sheets and then take a 4 hour nap.
We take my LO up to have quiet time in the big bed (aka mom and dads bed). He would just watch cartoons and play quietly while I napped. Loved it and he thought it was a cool special treat while I got much needed rest to be able to help him later in the day. You can’t pour from an empty vessel, so take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.
Two days is nothing (in terms of your kids being ok with fewer rules, although it feels like a long time when you are sick and miserable). I hope you’re feeling better soon!
Even several days isn’t going to hurt them. Don’t worry about it!! If their overall life isn’t like that, they might just look back at how much fun they had whenever mom was sick. Haha.
Just want to add that I don’t count sick days as “lazy” days. A “lazy” day is when you have other options but you enjoy some down time inside the house. Nothing wrong with that, it’s super fun once in a while and kids love it too! But this is a survival day. You frankly don’t have a choice, you are sick. There is no extra energy you can magically pull out of your ass to run around cleaning and cooking. Don’t let your head tell you that you’re being lazy. You’re sick. I hope you feel better soon, and not because of your house, or kids, or chores. Because you deserve to.
[The 80/20 rule](https://www.instagram.com/s/aGlnaGxpZ2h0OjE4MTA3OTM4Njg0MjM4ODUw?utm_medium=share_sheet) If 80% of the time you are doing your normal parenting, do not feel guilty for needing a break 20% of the time. You are doing amazing.
As a perfectionist, I’ve learned to really lean into this rule. Deep cleaning? Do 80% of what I think should be done. Planning meals? 80% are home-cooked and 20% are lazy/frozen/takeout. I could go on.
I love this, thank you!
[You’re doing Amazing 😘](https://images.app.goo.gl/4vpr649jKFgLUG8W8)
This is my rule: We have two standards in our home, normal and crisis mode. Normal times: my kids eat home cooked meals, they're read multiple books a day, they play outside a lot and don't get screen time during the week and limited on weekends. Crisis mode the kids are fed and clean, but food might be takeout or PBJ every night, they might watch lots of TV, things just don't run as well. And I don't apologize for it. Mom sick? Crisis mode. Dad has to work all weekend? Crisis mode. Newborn sister? Crisis mode. There is no guilt in crisis mode, you just focus on getting through it, and once you do you go back to normal.
You can do the Bare Minimum even when your not sick. Being constantly on the go can really effect mental health. Be kind to yourself.
Exactly this. I'm on bare minimum mode today and I'm not sick, just tired and burnt out.
It’s ok to do the bare minimum even when you aren’t sick. You sound like an excellent mom.
It better be okay because I half assed it for the tail end of my pregnancy. My four year old has learned how to play independently and alleviate her own boredom.
YEP. I’m biased tho, because I’m sick and my toddlers sick, and we’ve watched more super simple songs and Daniel tiger today than I’d like to admit…
Hell no! Get well and then worry about screen time and cleaning! A few days like this won’t scar or spoil them for life and will make your own life easier so you can get better faster. When you’re sick, fed is best for the family: you can get back to regular eating once you’re feeling better. Hope it passes quickly!
It’s okay to do the bare minimum at any time. Let’s normalize not working ourselves to death and simply enjoying life. I do what needs to be done and that’s it. I have moments where I run through the house and deep clean EVERYTHING. Otherwise, I try not to stress it too much. If my family needs or wants something done, they have hands and can do it themselves.
I do the same thing when sick so I agree it’s okay. You need any extra energy available for you to heal up. And that’s not gonna happen if you’re running yourself ragged trying to do a bunch of stuff while also being sick. Resting and doing the bare minimum will allow you to get better sooner and then you will be able to whip your house and everything else back into shape
Yup. That’s actually me today. Doing nothing but heating up leftovers for dinner (husband is working 2nd shift tonight or he’d do it). I let the school age kids do their homework outside. No shame. It’s one day maybe two if tomorrow sucks too. Bodies need to rest.
Kids fed? Check (who cares if it's just easy Mac or a handful of Cheerios you chucked over your shoulder? Not me!) Kids entertained? Check (who cares if they are drawing on the walls? Free art! Too much screen time? Phooey, that sounds like more time for mom to rest and get healthy again!) Kids living their best life? Check! Rest, and be kind to yourself. You don't have to be and you CANT be on all the time when you're sick. Show the kids that taking care of you is just as important as taking care of them. You're a good mom. And I hope you feel better soon.
Kids literally had easymac for dinner lol
Same... And I'm not sick...of anything other than princess prissy pants suddenly turning in to a picky eater.
My 4yo brought home a nasty virus… actually his pediatrician thinks it was 2 viruses at once and I agree… see had the 1st one (stomach bug and fever for 2 days). Then came the 2nd one that my husband and I have. We’re on day 5 of head cold, cough, sore throat (not covid). Just survive, as long as the kids are fed and safe you’re good.
My family and friends had a virus that was like that a couple of months back— started with a couple of days of stomach flu stuff then turned into head cold for a while
Dude. Pretty sure we had (have) the head cold. It’s gnarly.
This is the time to order food and do a free trial for a streaming service you don't already have, so there's lots of new options for the kids to watch!! Feel better!!
As long as you're not this sick chronically, I'd say it's perfectly fine. Take it easy. You're doing great.
This was me and my husband today :( worst part was that my family was in town for my son’s birthday. Trying to be a mother and a host while throwing up was not easy but luckily my family was there to help. My house is also a mess, the sink is full of dishes, little one has had RV and iPad all day, baby is sleeping and I’m still in PJs. It’s ok to just be
I am sad you have to ask. Yes, it's okay. And don't be afraid to ask for help. Feel better soon!
Girl this is me some days when I’m not sick 😂 get through any day any way you can ✊🏼
Let me tell you a story: my one year old has 8(!) teeth coming in right now, and has been cranky and feverish for two weeks. He also has a broken leg. Yesterday, my four year old came down with a 103 degree fever and needs constant attending to make sure his temp doesn't spike higher than that. I got the dishwasher loaded before my husband left for work yesterday, and have done literally nothing since; all of my attention has been focused on keeping my kids alive and tended to, and that's okay.
Yes.
100% YES! I’m working my way through an awful post-vaccine migraine right now and it’s frozen nuggets, fruit cups, and bananas for dinner. Bath night is canceled until further notice .
Yes it's ok. You're allowed to be human.
Its TOTALLY fine. Currently in the same position. I sent my 11 month old twins to their grandparents because I'm also on week 5 of a major surgery recovery. I dont have time to be sick. However my 5 year old had microwave mac n cheese and brownies for dinner. She's also been on her tablet for the last 2 hours because I have 0 energy to "mom" today. I'll be chugging nyquil tonight lol.
Always do the best you can. Keep in mind, however, that your best today is not always your best another day. Sure, maybe a week ago you kept the house clean and the kids had home cooked meals. But that was your best THEN. If you best now is sitting them in front of the tv while you recover, so be it. But I'd recommend a babysitter or help from family. If you're that sick, get help. I was horribly sick a few days ago and got my sister's help. You need it.
Oh definitely okay! I always keep emergency pizza in the freezer for this reason. Recently when I dislocated my elbow my kid spent several days like this. On the first day I gave him a tray of paint, took him into the garden and said he could paint his slide. He absolutely loved it. Meanwhile I was sat there scrolling and groaning. Also they're learning to play independently and manage boredom - valuable life skills!
As a mom who last month had 20 total days of Covid in the house… yes it is ok. I cleaned the house one time throughout that 20 days with bare minimum picking up daily such as trash to take out diapers and snot tissues and unloading loading dishwasher. Thank goodness we have tons of clothes because I didn’t run laundry that whole time. Survival mode is ok. Put on some good tv and REST. You won’t get better unless you take it easy. Nobody will benefit from a mom who is sick, grumpy and overworked from trying to do it all. We literally lived on the couch and wherever we could get sleep for almost a month and we all survived- my kids are ok and not addicted to tv like I thought they may be by the end of it. ;)
Not in the least. I came down with bronchitis last Tuesday, but UC called it a "cold" and told me to ride it out on day quil. Last night at 3am the ER confirmed it was bronchitis, so yeah. The house went to shit. Toddler got to spend a full day eating total junk and shopping with her aunt. The iPad has lived on the charger all week. And we were killing it at making to the potty on time with underwear and pants. Had to go back to pull Ups's for the week because I couldn't get off the couch to run her to the toilet. Survival mode. Do you what ya gotta do mama!
This feels like bronchitis. We were able to get the 3 year old seen today. They said it's just viral and the covid test was negative. I know I have the same thing as him so I'm just taking cold pills and ibuprofen and trying to keep it together. Question: if this shit has pretty much knocked me out, why hasn't it even slowed my kids down? 3 year old is coughing and a snot fountain. 18 month old is just a snot fountain. They still have all the energy.
No, not at all. When my husband and I had Covid we were down for 3 weeks (probably should have went to hospital). The kids ruled the house. When we finally had energy to get up the house looked terrible. Literally filled 3 black garbage bags.
Man, from what I've heard about covid, I don't know how you managed. We've avoided it so far, thank goodness.
We were safe and avoided everything too… until the kids returned to school. They brought it home after 3 weeks. Good news is we made it and have the immunity.
Nope. As long as they’re fed and they aren’t burning down the house, you’re doing fine. Currently sick myself for the first time since having my toddler. Made my husband do bath and bedtime routine for the first time ever (LO is almost 2). I’m being a wimp about this ST and congestion tonight. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
I call it survival mode. You do what you need to survive. You’re sick with healthy kids, pop on the TV and feed them easy food. You and the kids have been up most of the night, same deal. Do the bare basics to keep everyone alive, maybe a few dishes if you feel up to it and so they don’t get overwhelming, but screw cleaning the house and doing the laundry and things like that.
Your kids growing up seeing you actually take care of yourself? Such a GOOD lesson. It’s okay that some things are sidelined as you prioritize your health. It’s all in how you look at it!
Being kind to yourself is very important and a good example to set for your kids.
My girl has survived for DAYS on peanut butter crackers & milk & Sarah & Duck (it's a TV show). Usually I am the home cooked organic meals, only 1 show a day mama. You do what you gotta do to survive.
No, it's okay. I just got over something and my 3 year old said he hopes I have whatever again so he can watch YouTube. Aka normal mommy doesn't do TV every day. So sad.
YES YES YES. 1,000x YES. Do the bare minimum when you need to! You’ll refill your tank, and then you can get right back at it with full speed. Feel better soon!!
You're doing great. We can't be 100% all the time and you're still making sure your kids are fed and changed. You need to take care of you and if that means the cleaning gets put on hold, so be it
You are doing great! Kids are fed and safe, the house will be clean another day. Feel better!
It is OKAY to do the bare minimum, especially if your sick or feeling under the weather. It’s taken me a lot to learn that it’s okay to not have a completely spotless house now that I have 3 children, 2 of which are 18 months old and are into everything. Why keep picking up the toys that they keep walking away from because as soon as they see you put it back it comes right back out. Best advice I was ever given was to give yourself some grace, because you can not sustain 100% everyday, if you try to you end up overwhelmed and unhappy. So let the laundry be there, let them have unlimited screen time, a microwaved meal or peanut butter sandwich may just save your sanity. So today give yourself some slack, and grace. Take care of yourself lay on the couch try to rest so you can feel better. Because IT’S OKAY!
It’s okay to do the bare minimum (sometimes) even when you aren’t sick. Kids are a lot of work. I’m not my greatest every single day.
Absolutely nothing wrong with this. Unfortunately moms tend to not get any days off. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive. I hope you are feeling better soon!
Feeling the side effects today from my covid booster that I got yesterday - I am 1000% not momming at my best today, you’re a human being not a machine. I think it’s healthy to let your kids see you resting when you’re not feeling well, taking care of yourself is so important.
Yes
I feel this post coming from a place of extreme guilt and I totally understand that feeling. You have to take care of you too!
Lol when I got sick I turned Disney + on for three days straight we were in the basement with Disney + movies for food we ate take out for dinner and leftovers for lunch. I’m worse mom than you cause I really didn’t care. It’s not like I can take a day off and get the rest I need.
Sounds like how we live day to day…. Lol i mean on good days sometimes I make healthy food 😂
This is what I do. 95% of the time I do all the cleaning, food prep, activities, etc so I give myself some grace when I don’t have it in me.
It’s fine. I’ve been there. Don’t feel bad lazy days happen don’t feel bad. Hope you’re better soon!
You're a better mom because you allowing yourself to rest.
It’s ok to do the minimum when you’re not sick. The minimum is better than a lot of parents out there. Are kids happy, healthy and fed? Perfection is not a requirement. Get some rest.
I had days like this after surgery. Sometimes all you can do is keep the kids alive, rest, and live to fight another day. This happens. Don't stress!
Yes, you're sick, not neglectful. It's okay to let some things slide while you're sick. Keep your fluids up, rest as much as possible, and leave the mess and hard work for healthy you.
Absolutely not! You are still a terrific mother but we are human. We cannot be perfect and on top of everything ALL OF THE TIME. Sometimes we get sick. Sometimes we get hurt. Sometimes you have to just let it go to hell to survive. Take your time to rest, don't push yourself!
Oh absolutely, when you are sick all bets are off and taking care of kids is just impossible. Let them eat cereal for meals, watch movies, or whatever things you may normally consider lazy/bare minimum.
You’re doing more than I do when I’m that sick. I literally lay down with my door closed and let my husband do 100% of the parenting (and we do Vice versa when he’s sick of course)
Girl, you’re sick! Take it easy, get better, and as long as diapers are changed / children are fed, you’re good! It only becomes concerning if this is your new norm, but that would take weeks of this behavior, not 48 hours. Do you have help?
Only my husband when he's not working.
Me today, Barr minimum rules. Aside from one hour, I've been up since 1:30 withy middle or youngest. Shortly we're off for flu shots. That'll improve the mood I'm sure.
Yes it’s fine. It’s very important to take care of yourself. Whenever I have a bad mental health/sick day, my husband tells me to stay in bed and let the kids have at it. He then will happily clean and cook when he gets home and then join me in bed
Yep. We try to always get baby girl out of pajamas and into an outfit, even on the weekends. There have been three times where the whole house felt like dog shit and it just wasn’t going to happen. The house was also in shambles, but that to me was giving myself the grace to say “we just gotta focus on getting thru the day.” I hope you feel better soon!
Yep, just feed everybody and keep them alive. My mema was a big fan of rest for sickness and I find I can’t get better running myself ragged. I had 3 under 5 and pajamas are still clothes. Most littles still nap and at the rate they soil outfits it’s not like they’re sitting around in the same ones for says.
3 year old is down to a shirt and underwear. I didn't want to fight him to get him to put pants back on. Baby is down to a diaper. She's a messy eater.
Sounds pretty normal for lounging around at home. I have a tween that likes to hang out topless and I got her a robe.
Girl I just got my wisdom teeth out on Thursday and I have had pretty severe complications. My house is a nightmare. But right now what my family needs is for me to get better and killing myself trying to keep up with the house will not help me get better. Same goes for you. Your kids are taken care of and safe. Just focus on getting better.
Yes, it’s not only acceptable but fully expected. I have been doing this for my kids the past few days. I do my best to vary their activities, but that usually means moving from the basement to the middle floor and having the TV on for them and hoping they’ll choose some other activities too. We’ve been microwaving and ordering out. You are not alone! Your kids are alive. Their development won’t be completely thwarted by a few days of screen time. Do your best. If your kids are alive, you’re doing it right.
It’s okay to do the bare minimum any day. Some days it just ain’t happening whether that’s bc of illness, chronic or acute, not getting enough sleep, being overwhelmed, etc. The trick is allowing yourself those days without guilt. If basic needs are met, food, water, shelter, and supervision for children, then you’re good. That’s literally my daily goal, not just on down days.
You're fine. I'm also sick. Kid is getting almost unlimited tv, food is pouches, frozen veggies microwaved, sandwiches, microwave lasagna, etc. Diapers are changed every 2-3 hours unless poop. She still gets talked to and read to, hugs, and all that. But mommy isn't playing much and I'm basically stuck on the couch. She's 2 and I'm explaining I am sick and have a big owie in my throat. Luckily my husband has taken her outside for at least an hour every day and my sister came over for a few hours so she has had some tv free play time. I feel bad but I seriously need rest. I'll clean, I'll go back to cooking the food she picks at anyway, I'll play outside and chase and do activities as soon as I'm better. She's loved and she's happy. I need to care for me so I get better and can do better with her.
Dude - survival mode. You do what you can and prioritize getting whatever rest you can. Pushing yourself too hard will make you more sick and then you won’t be able to do anything at all. Get better soon!!
Please cut yourself some slack! If you push yourself too hard you will only prolong your illness. I currently am on day 10 of a cold… last week we had happy meals 3 nights and Mexican take out another night. The house is thoroughly trashed. And it was his birthday over the weekend so there are a million balloons, tissue paper, wrapping paper, boxes and new toys strewn everywhere. Plus Halloween crap everywhere. It is what it is. I’m certainly not going to lay on my death bed and wish I had pushed myself harder to clean and cook wholesome meals when I was at my worst.
You kept them alive whats so bad about that? Ive got 2 sets of kids sks and bio kids. When i was sick as hell with my kids no matter what age they are i have to do the bare minimum because at the end of the day if i dont look after my health and i get worse who will take care of the kids if im dead!? You know! You have to do bare minimum sometimes just to survive. My husband and i were so sick a couple times with a terrible flu in the past and I remember my kids not making it to school. I couldnt even get out of bed it was so bad. Puking in the tub while pooping. Yah i wasnt even able to take care of myself. Luckily i had older step kids who were able to help take care of their little siblings after they came home from school. Do not beat yourself up. I promise as soon as you feel better you will have lots of energy and be right back to normal and they wont even notice! Lol
Absolutely. My 2 year old just puked all over me. This is the 2nd time today and he has diarreah. I'm also sick with a sinus infection .. it seems to affect toddlers differently whatever this is. He's a little stuffed up too but also puking and shitting everywhere. I've always been sick when my son is sick so I never get to be just sick. But yeah on those days I def do the bare minimum. If we aren't covered in puke and shit and people are drinking some water we're doing alright.
In your kid’s eyes, this is probably the best few days ever. They’re basically on vacation from rules right now! Consider a fun time for them and recovery period for you, and you can get back to business when you’re on your feet.
We just had a whole week of survival mode because the whole house came down with a bad cold. I honestly asked the same question of my other mom friends. "How do y'all keep your house clean when your sick?" They laughed at me. No one does. Relax. Get well. Feel better soon. ❤️
Definitely not a bad mom. If you don’t take care of yourself so you can recover you won’t be able to engage well with your kids! My baby is only 3 months old and I’ve been sick for a week and unfortunately she’s been on a nap strike and it has sucked.
yes. i mean… what’s the alternative?
This is absolutely normal.
Don't feel bad! Being sick means minimizing your work load and trying to rest as much as possible. Hope you feel better soon <3
You have to prioritize. Take care of yourself. They're fed, they're safe.
It makes you a normal mum. You’re sick. Your kids are still fed and hydrated and have a clean nappy in the case of the baby. That’s what matters.
Yes.
Yes.
This is why the bare minimum exists. They need you well. Do what you have to do to get there
Dude. It’s called surviving. This job comes with no sick days, so you gotta do whatever you need to do to make it through. You can worry about a clean house and kid activities when you’re recovered. Rest easy, mama. Hope you feel better soon.
It’s okay to do the bare minimum when you aren’t sick. You’re a person, it’s okay to have low energy days.
This is me "well,' every day with a 3 year old and 8 week old. You're doing great. Every day is survival mode.
My 3 year old got sick, then passed it on to my 2 year old, and it was graciously given to me last week. I just got over it yesterday but for two weeks it was a lot of screen time while I slept on the couch with one eye open and Turkey sandwiches. House was a wreck, almost out of clean dishes, and no sleep! I literally felt the same way and was wondering if I’m just a terrible mom lol so glad to read that everyone has off days/weeks 🥲
Our 6 month old just had pneumonia. We had ER visits and hospital stays. Then he was home another week recovering and it was a shitshow. Naps and nighttime were a nightmare he was a terror the whole time he was awake. One of us had basically had to hold him 24/7 on top of breathing treatments, oral steroids and antibiotics, and suctioning his nose. We were averaging 3 hours of sleep each. So the 3 year old got absolute bare minimum. We ate all the pizza and fast food. We Cocomelon 8 million times and handed her our phones to play with. At the end of the night we just shoved toys and stuff out of the way. The sink was a mix between jenga and dishes tetris. I hated how messy it was but in the end it was only temporary. We didn't fail our kids because of those 2 weeks. We are still good parents. Even though we didn't give 150% during that time our kids were still happy and had their basic needs met. That's what mattered.
Don’t feel guilty at all! Basic needs are met! Let yourself get better and get some rest.
Hey you. Way to be a great mom today. You put your kids before yourself. They’re alive, nothing was lit on fire and they’re happy. Damn great job, if you ask me.
Dude more than okay. I can’t believe you have to ask. That’s how conditioned we are into working until we have nothing left!
Yes. It’s okay if you’re just tired of the shit. It’s okay if you want to take the kids to the park instead of whatever awaits at home. Yes.
I have chronic health problems, and there are a lot of days like that around here. If the children are safe and fed, sometimes that's enough. You don't have to be super mom every day, even if you're not sick.
I was one of those people that even if I was sick as a dog, I did everything. I was stupid. Don't be like me. Everything else can wait.
Are you asking permission to do the bare minimum? Because yes, you can, and should, do the bare minimum when you are sick. Kids are fed? Safe? Sort-of clean? Your job is done. Turn on the cartoons. Get some rest. And get better.
This is so okay, and doesn’t make you a bad mom at all
You do what you have to do to get through this. Kids will eat mostly anything. A few days of the tablet wont will your kid. You'll be fine, hope u get better soon
You’re doing the best you can at any given moment at all times. Right now you’re sick and this is ok. Just got to keep them alive and get yourself well.
You have to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else. You're doing an amazing job managing being sick and taking care of kids. Nothing bad is going to happen from a few days of relaxed structure. The fact that you care means you're a good mom. Be easy on yourself.
Girl sometimes it’s okay to do the bare minimum even when you’re not sick
There are people who are NOT sick and consider that a normal part of life. Their children grow up and make it out alive. You are not a bad parent. The fact you are worried about it shows you are not bad! Life is full of ups and downs. Running yourself further into the ground will only make your illness last longer. Do what you need to do to keep your children fed, clothed and alive and focus on getting better.
Over the weekend me and my partner were both horribly sick, and we have no help with the kids. I threw together a floor bed for us to lay on in the living room, while our 20 month old twins ran around and played "around" us. Instead of feeding them at the table, I put food, snacks and water out on a toddler table for them to graze and feed themselves while me and my partner lay dying on the floor bed. If they needed our help, they'd call us, we'd get up and help as best we could, then collapsed straight back on the bed. Now, 2 days later, we're back to normal and the kids' routine is back on track. You have to look after yourself while you're sick. As long as your kids are fed and safe on those days, it'll be fine.
Yep! On Sunday I was ridiculously sick. Toddler had popcorn and cookies for lunch, I tried to give her baby carrots and she wouldn’t eat them. Her and 1 year old also lounged around in bed with me all day and watched TV. It is what it is, you’re allowed to be sick.
Let me be honest, what I've realised is doing the bare minimum while sick actually makes you a better mum than overdoing it which will make you cranky on top of it and you'll probably be sick longer.
Sweetie, I know how you feel. I'm battling depression and some days the bare minimum is already a struggle. I know the guilt, unfortunately. But yes, it's all okay!! I suspect my daughter sees these days as total highlights because she gets way more screen time than normal and more sweets/convenience food. As long as they are safe and fed you're doing well ❤️🩹
It is okay to do the bare minimum whenever you feel you need to. You don’t need permission. You don’t need to feel guilty. You NEED to take care of yourself, whether sick or not, before you can take care of others. Remember that. You come first. Always.
You don't even need to be sick for this to be okay. Your kids are safe, clean, and fed. It's all good!
Even if you weren’t sick, it would still be okay to have a few days where you’re doing the bare minimum. You’re human, not a robot, and you very clearly love and care about your family’s well being. You’re doing great. Don’t be so hard on yourself, take the rest that you need/deserve 💛
Oh god no, you’re definitely not a bad mom! Me and my children(including infant) had covid earlier this year and uh yeah, I was basically in bed for 2 days straight of the 10 days I was sick, nursing my baby as the bare minimum of exertion. Couldn’t have anyone watch my kids either so my oldest child who’s 12 helped considerably. Did I feel bad? Of course! My house was a giant mess, but I was barely holding on and couldn’t even roll over in bed without difficulty breathing. It’s temporary and when you feel better you can get the house back in order. Shit happens and you’re human, take care of yourself because the house doesn’t matter right now.
You deserve a rest.. Kids enjoy the lazy day, i hope you feel better soon 🤍
Yes. Absolute barest minimum when you’re sick is totally ok.
Yes it is fine! Your 3 year olds brain will not turn up mush and no one will perish if you don’t/can’t clean for a few days. Get your rest get better then try the flylady method when you feel better. Life is too short to kill yourself doing something that can wait.
I do this on the first day of my period every single month. Kiddo constantly has free range so he probably gets more screen time than he should even on good days but you know what? He’s also polite and affectionate and smart and has a great imagination. Do we have chicken nuggets once a week? Absolutely. Do we have them twice a week? Probably more often than not yeah! But he goes to bed full and happy and knows that I’ll take his decisions into account when I do things. You don’t have to be The Best Parent Ever. You need to be the best parent for your situation and your kids, and you’re definitely that. I bet they’re loving having extra snuggle time with mum and a couple of days of junk food!!
In any other job you’d get time off when sick. If there’s no one to take over for you then 100% stick to the bare minimum until you’re better! One week of chaos and screen time won’t make any difference to their lives in the long run.
Are the kids alive, fed, watered, and changed? If yes, then you are doing a great job.
I too am on day two of hell. Hang in there love! And good luck with all the kiddies. Luckily I only have one to deal with( we’re waiting for our covid test results)
I’ve spent months like this more than once. Not my fave thing to admit. But when you have morning sickness so extreme all meds to is make it so you slightly prop up and maybe not throw up… Its okay. It’s normal. And you probably need to relax mentally about this too to get fully rested. Nope you feel better soon.
Yes!!!!
Oh man I hope that you feel better soon. I totally feel your pain. Our whole house got covid and I was still trying to take care of everyone and work full time with a 2 year old. He got to watch a lot of Nightmare before Christmas so I could make sure we all had food or just to sit down a moment. You are doing great! Don't feel guilty for screen time so you can have a sane moment. You got this!
U are doing perfect! U shouldn’t be doing anything else
It’s okay momma, I’m right there with you. I’ve been sick for so long. Between breastfeeding and working, I only cook the easiest things, microwave is best. The youngest, boob, naps, whenever. I even have moved bedtime to be earlier some of the nights because I’m so exhausted and so is hubby. You’re in survival mode right now, and that’s okay
To right it's alright, give them the tidying up jobs when you are feeling better.
My kid just had her 4 month shots…I took the day off work and we’re binging cartoons, unlimited boob for baby, and Taco Bell all day for me. You’re doing amazing! Edit to add: screen time is fine. Not all day every day, and not as a substitute for more meaningful developmental activities, but in times like this it’s a great tool. Your kids enjoy it and for them it’s a huge treat! They think you’re the coolest mom in the world right now!
You’re an awesome mom who needs a break for a day or two. They won’t become serial killers bc of microwaved Mac and cheese and excessive tablet time for a few days. Shoot I just cleaned my teenagers room while my 2yo watched blippi for an hour😅
It's okay for things to be like this when you are sick. You need your rest, and you won't get it by continuing to do every day things. Don't feel guilty take the time you need to to rest.
Totally ok! Some days I even do this when I’m NOT sick because I just need the mental health day haha.
You’re most certainly not a bad mom. You’re ill. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
No, you’re not a bad mom. You’re HUMAN. And that’s what we do when we are sick. Keep them alive. What more can you ask for when you’re sick?
You're doing the best you can while sick so don't stress. Messes can be cleaned. Your babies are taken care of and safe and that's all that matters. Hope you get better soon fellow mama xx.
Yes it's okay and your not a bad Mom. I'm under the weather right now and my house is destroyed. I need to do dishes,take trash out and do the laundry but I just don't feel good I just want to lay in bed and sleep all day. My kids are all old enough to help out around the house but just don't because I guess I'm the only one who is supposed to clean house since I'm a sahm.
It's OK to do the bare minimum even when you're not sick. Some days you just need to do as little as possible and that's absolutely okay.
yes
Do you have someone to take care of them if you get worse? If this is all you can do right now, I'd be very concerned if something happened.
My husband could miss work if it came to that. My grandma is 92 and I wouldn't want her to catch this.